


Rehearsal

by CountingWithTurkeys



Series: Musicology [1]
Category: Adventure Time
Genre: Alignment Trope, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/F, Science, Tags Are Hard, vr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2018-12-24 08:42:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 304,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12009138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CountingWithTurkeys/pseuds/CountingWithTurkeys
Summary: The first time she put on her father's amulet it warped her body. The second time she puts on her father's amulet it will shatter her mind.





	1. Resonance

**Author's Note:**

> What? CwT is writing a multi-chapter story on purpose? Weird.
> 
> This story is rated "Explicit" for a reason, namely graphic violence and (eventual) smut. The first couple of chapters are rather tame, but it's all downhill from there. You've been warned.

She was waiting when the vampire returned to her cave home. In the dark, in the silence, in the tension of the moment, she was waiting. She sat on the right side of the horribly uncomfortable couch, careful to avoid placing too much weight in the center; her vampire’s trophies were stored there, an open secret that they both knew that she knew but never spoke of. She sat in a pair of light purple jeans, right leg crossed over the left, pink sneakers still. Her hands were settled neatly in her lap, dark purple sweater adequately concealing her nervous breathing. Her crown was conspicuously absent. Given the nature of the situation she thought its presence grossly inappropriate. This conversation would not be pleasant, she already knew that. It wasn’t the first of its kind. It was never pleasant.

Bonnibel Bubblegum could already see the incoming talk play out in her mind. The vampire would come through the door and pretend that she didn’t know the princess was in attendance, that she couldn’t hear her heart pounding. The younger woman would cut straight to the chase, not bothering with pleasantries, and certainly not willing to let her lover hide from her own behavior. They would challenge one another’s reasoning and motivations. There may even be accusations and, if it got really bad, there may even be a nasty row. Neither would back down, they hadn’t for five centuries. No. It was formulaic by now. The half-demon would enter her house and evade the candy woman’s gaze, who, in turn, would fixate until she watched her squirm, knowing that she couldn’t let the other woman avoid this topic forever. Because if Marceline Abadeer was good at one thing, it was running from her own globin’ problems, and it was up to her lover to hold her accountable.

Princess Bubblegum frowned, her frustration growing. In the back of her mind she wondered if the older woman was delaying her return purposefully, trying to avoid taking responsibility. Fortunately for the candy princess, her unwavering sense of logic trumped that mental accusation. This conversation was no easier for her other half; it was, if anything, so much the more painful as it was not only a tragedy of facts it was also a crisis of identity. The part of herself she allowed to feel empathy ached to take that pain away from the vampire, to metaphorically kiss and make it better. But this situation wasn’t metaphorical. It was very real and had some very real consequences.  _ If our roles were reversed, would she wait for me?  _ Bubblegum sighed. This wasn’t the first time that idle curiosity crossed her mind and made for an interesting thought experiment.

The doorknob turned slowly, as if the woman on the other door were trying to make as little sound as possible. The door opened a crack before falling still. Bonnibel knew that on the other side of the door her girlfriend was taking one last opportunity to steel herself against the coming storm. The candy woman’s sympathy was fleeting.  _ This will be as bad as she wants it to be. It’s her choice.  _ For a brief moment she allowed herself a sense of smug satisfaction; this would become a battle of wills, and she knew something Marceline didn’t. When the door opened the princess shoved that thought to the back of her mind with the rest of her mental weaponry.

True to form, Marceline didn’t meet Bonnibel’s eye when she finally slinked through the door, feeling every bit the invader in her own home that she knew the princess wanted her to feel. It was a strategy she had seen her employ before on other dignitaries, unsettling them while on neutral or even home territory. It was a method of exercising intimidation, to silently make her presence into a tactical force. Knowing about the approach did nothing to grant her immunity from it though, and the undead monarch found herself just as affected by it as any other victim. It didn’t matter that she knew her princess was wrong, all she could do was mentally squirm under her piercing gaze and hope that it wasn’t obvious. She permitted herself a woe-is-me sigh, but only internally.  _ But it is obvious. She knows me too well. She knows how to break me. _

As required of her in her girlfriend’s presence Marceline touched down to the floor, closing the door quietly. She unslung her bass from her back, resting it blade-down against the side of the door. The blade was absolutely filthy, caked in a rust-colored liquid barely dried and flaking, and the younger woman wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Given the circumstances, though, she wasn’t surprised by its condition. Marceline looked like she hadn’t changed her outfit in the entire time she was gone. Her black combat boots were covered in an unidentified substance, and her non-skinny black jeans were torn in maybe a dozen places. Bonnibel was surprised they were still in one piece. Her shirt, despite being solid red, did nothing to hide the blood stains.  _ At least she tied her hair back,  _ she thought with only mild approval. She had also yet to move from her position, paralyzed by indecision, hand frozen just above the bass. It was pitch dark out, and while Marceline had no idea exactly what time it was it didn’t bode well for her that Bonnibel was willing to not only leave her castle at night but determined enough to wait for her to come home. The older monarch didn’t want to speak first. That was part of the tactic as well; the one who spoke first lost. They were relegated to the submissive role, and it was a role she fell into easily around her lover. In any other circumstance she would even enjoy it.

Marceline took a deep breath she didn’t need, exhaled, and started the dance. It wasn’t like her to lead, but the only weapon she had ever been able to wield successfully against the princess was the element of surprise. 

“No.”

An uncharacteristically firm tone.

“Marceline-”

“Absolutely not.”

An exacerbated sigh. “Just hear me out-”

“Bonnibel. No.”

Full first-naming her girlfriend. A true sign of irritation if there ever was one, but Bonnibel Bubblegum was nothing if not stubborn, whether the situation warranted it or not. She had no intention of backing down. Unfortunately, the vampire queen shared her sentiment, and the two at odds was a horrible calamity to witness. She sat impassively, eyes locked firmly on the queen. “You’re only doing this to yourself, Marceline.” The tone was matter-of-fact, and Marceline bristled. “I’m not doing anything to myself, Bonnibel.” But that was a lie, and a cheap one at that, not worthy of Bonnibel addressing. “You’re needlessly prolonging an unpleasant situation that has an unavoidable outcome because you can’t-”  _ Get over yourself.  _ “...come to terms with reality.”

Finally finding her courage Marceline turned, glaring in full force, standing squarely in front of her companion. “You don’t know what it’s like, Bonnie.” The moment that traitorous phrase was out of her mouth the vampire winced, regretting it. It wasn’t a defense, it was a buying question, an opening for her lover to start systematically dismantling her argument. 

The princess didn’t bother hiding the smugness in her smirk.  _ Give her enough time and Marcy will always trap herself.  _ It might be one of the things the younger woman liked most about her. It made the power dynamic of their relationship so easy. “Enlighten me, Marcy.” Her tone shifted then, becoming softer and more gentle. This was a strategy reserved solely for her vampire, the portrayal of gentleness and acceptance being vital to wearing down her resistance. Bonnibel never used their relationship as a weapon. A bargaining chip, however, was a different story. 

To her credit, Marceline’s glare didn’t waver, nor did her resolve.  _ Try all you want, Bonnie. You’ll never win this fight. I have a winning streak to maintain. _ “For such a brainlord you sure have some really stupid ideas sometimes.” Princess Bubblegum scowled in response. Marceline wasn’t just being unreasonable, she was being childish and it was beginning to grate on her nerves.

“Just hear me out. Okay? If after I’ve finished you still disagree-”

“We’ll argue some more?”

Bubblegum bit her tongue. She hated to be interrupted, and her lover knew it, but she supposed she wasn’t wrong. The candy leader had no real intention of backing down, she just had to find a way to make Marceline see reason. “Marceline, look.. I know how you feel about this. You’ve been very vocal about it for hundreds of years, and if I didn’t think it absolutely necessary I would never dream of venturing the idea. Your concerns are far from groundless,” she noted Marceline’s eyes quickly shoot to her family’s heirloom before returning to her own, “but right now this is the lesser of all evils. For flub’s sake, Marcy, it’s the only thing stopping us from-”

“Making your royal duties easier?”

She saw that coming a mile away but did nothing to stop its impact. After the initial sting she realized that Marceline had come to match her own tone, even with the biting comment, and began to feel hopeful that she would win this argument for the very first time. It was unusual for Marceline to fall in step so quickly, and the princess hoped that it was a sign that the vampire was finally, finally, too tired to keep fighting. She just required a little push. “Come with me Marcy. Let’s go home. I want to show you something.” After a moment of hesitation Marceline turned, placing her hand on the knob. Her thoughts turned briefly to her precious bass, with its broken strings and clogged frets, desperate for the tender love and care only she could provide.

“Take it if it makes you feel more secure.”

Marceline was suddenly uncomfortably aware of how deep in her mind the candy princess was. That didn’t stop her from grabbing the weapon while opening the door, or leaving the relative safety of her house, nor did it stop her from scooping her lover up after securing the entrance, one arm under her knees, the other supporting her back. The pink woman relaxed, resting her head against the vampire’s chest as they began to make the flight back to the castle. The journey was silent, but the displeasure soon gave way to something much more comfortable. It was just two halves of one being soaring through the night sky, the only two beings in the world that could appreciate such an intimate moment, the only ones even eligible. As they approached the castle Marceline considered her options.

_ You have no idea what you’re asking of me, Bonnie. You didn’t see it. You’ve never seen it. _

They landed on the balcony of Bonnibel’s bedroom. Immediately upon dismounting the princess took the queen’s hand, pushing open the glass door as she lead her inside. This physical contact, too, was part of the tactic, a way of enticing the vampire to not run. Marceline was aware of this as well, but had no motivation to break the embrace. A change in location wouldn’t change the outcome of a fight they’ve had so many times before. To her surprise, however, they bypassed the bed chambers entirely, and she frowned, feeling suspicion gnaw at her heartguts. “Bon, where are we going?” 

The princess’s pace was quick and determined. “We’re meeting Finn and Jake in the laboratory later.” 

A growl emerged from the back of the vampire’s throat. “You didn’t think to tell me that detail?” 

“Why? Would it have stopped you?” The smug tone was back, but it lacked any real bite, and Marceline wasn’t sure how to interpret that. The entire situation was turning highly unusual; they never left her house for this argument, they never went back to the castle, and they certainly never involved other people. The vampire monarch tensed.

Princess Bubblegum continued to lead Marceline deeper into the castle, finally coming before the massive laboratory door after several agonizing minutes spent in absolute silence. There she stopped, pausing momentarily before turning to face her girlfriend while squeezing her hand. “You know I care about you. This is how things have to progress. There are procedures.” A thin thumb brushed reassuringly over a pale wrist as garnet eyes narrowed. 

“Procedures you wrote.”

Her response was a nod, Bubblegum refusing to take the painfully obvious bait. “Exactly. My kingdom requires-” 

A grey fist suddenly slammed into the wall, cracking it. “I’m already a queen, Bonnie, what more do you need?!” To her shock the shorter woman merely smiled sadly, turning to unlock the laboratory door before tugging the angry woman inside.

The door’s slam reverberated within Marceline’s very core. Bubblegum offered her hand one last reassuring squeeze before dropping it, turning to enter the lab proper. “So, where are the two-” 

Bubblegum saw her opening and struck. “What do you do when you go back to the Nightosphere, Marceline?” 

That gave the other woman pause; she sensed the trap but had no idea how to disable it, and so she merely blanked. The candy woman turned to face her as she reached the one empty steel bed in the entire laboratory. The room was filled almost to capacity this evening. Every other bed had raw materials from the nearby dextrose mine piled high, and the computer desk was littered with documents haphazardly stacked. The sink seemed to be housing a head-sized glowing green lump, but was too far away and at too odd an angle to decipher any further details. On the floor, the beds were flanked on all sides by towers of boxes of all sides, all taped shut, all too tall for even Marceline to peak inside.  _ Odd,  _ she thought.  _ You’re normally so organized. What have you been doing, Bonnie?  _ With a start she realized that the one bed that remained free of clutter was also the one bed that featured four-limb restraints that the candy woman swore up and down were definitely not lined with silver. The vampire wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Still, the young princess’s question hung in the air and Marceline eyed it warily, but didn’t dignify it with acknowledgement. The younger monarch tilted her head. “I just know you profess to hate it there, yet you return every so often. In fact, your visits have been increasing in frequency over the past two centuries. Why?” Marceline’s expression remained blank and impassive. Silence filled the lab, separating the two like an ocean and Bubblegum braced herself for its impact. When the vampire refused to do the candy woman the decency of responding she pressed harder. The pink princess hated to be ignored, and while years of experience had taught her how to keep the irritation from her voice, Marceline’s ears still registered it. They always did. “Marceline. You’ve been gone for over two weeks. You came back to Ooo, to your  _ cave _ , not the castle I might add, covered in blood. Why?” The question had become a statement, a slip in vocal tone that signaled Bonnibel was reaching the end of her patience. When she was once more denied an answer she took a deep breath, straightened, and pressed her lips into a fine line.  _ Fine.  _ The thought lacked affect. She gave her lover one long stare, one last chance to mend how difficult she was being, and when she was denied one final time she turned her back.

“Alright, Marcy. You’re not giving me much to go with here, and I can’t have you shut down on me.”  _ I need you too much.  _ She didn’t say that part, though it hung heavy in the air. All-too-late Marceline realized that her mate was entering a mindset best described as ‘clinically detached’, a state of being where the undead monarch was merely the blocker of progress, the holder of answers, the interrupter of progress. It was never good to be on the other side of this mentality. Marceline knew from experience what would happen now, but she had realized it too late to stop it. She was, at least for the time being, demoted from courtier to, at best, science project. Of all the positions the two engaged in this was perhaps her least favorite. Of all her paramour’s moods, disconnected hurt the most.

There was only one way out.

“...I’m sorry.”

It was so faint Bonnibel was momentarily convinced that she had misheard it. When her mate looked away from her, dropping her eyes to the floor, she knew she hadn’t imagined it. Part of her took immense satisfaction with this unexpected apology, proud that she had somehow been able to get the flighty woman to reflect on her own poor behavior and come to the realization on her own that her behavior wasn’t something sustainable. Another, larger part of her, however, disliked seeing her other half with that self-deprecating glint in her eyes.

“Why are you sorry, Marcy?”

With a groan of frustration the vampire collapsed onto a nearby stool. Resting her elbows behind her on the metal table she lifted her head to stare at the ceiling, to have something to focus on that wasn’t pink and perfect. For almost a solid minute she said nothing at all, but soon the awkwardness of the situation won over her emotional discomfort. “For this entire situation,” she started. “The one that I’m putting you in.” She paused, waiting to see if the candy golem would interject, only continuing once confident that she had her leave to voice her opinions. “I’m not an idiot, Bon. You need a ruler to level up your throne. Someone with an actual kingdom. I could have one, I just…” She trailed off, not confident in her ability to finish that thought.

“Then why go back?”

The vampire shifted uncomfortably, gaze unconsciously shifting to the small window on her right, her one chance of escape. Never before had she been so tempted to run, the lump with the consequences. To make it outside, away from clinical gazes, from the suffocating atmosphere. From Bonnibel. Some deep part of her, the part that relished in her almost primitive nature, pushed to flee, and it pushed hard, almost overwhelmingly. Almost. The older woman felt herself tense, involuntarily resisting that temptation, gaze snapping away from the window in an instant. The voice echoed in the back of her mind, and not for the first time.  _ Stay put.  _ Even now her younger lover was deep, too deep in her mind to let her escape. Was the half-demon complaining? With a frown, she realized she wasn’t sure.

Unfortunately, the princess mistook her mental reverie for obstinance and had made a decision in the vampire’s mental absence. “Marceline, look at me.” Razor-sharp teeth grit in frustration.  “You know what I want,” she started. “I want you.” 

“You have me.” 

It sounded like a plea, which Bonnibel mercifully didn’t acknowledge. Instead she crossed the distance between them, stopping before her companion. “You know what I mean, Marcy. My kingdom has law. In order for me to ascend my throne I need a suitor. A  _ royal _ suitor.” A pink hand caressed a grey cheek; the vampire had begun to bite the inside of it and she doubted the older woman even noticed, so busy was she looking anywhere but at her. “You meet that criteria,” she encouraged, “but…” 

Marceline gave a sigh of defeat. “...I need a kingdom of my own, and being the last of my kind doesn’t cut it.”

Princess Bubblegum let the tension hang in the air until it threatened to fester. “Why do you go back, Marcy?”

A grey hand came up to meet the pink one, cupping it. For a long moment the vampire was silent, lost in thought. When she finally spoke her voice was tight, controlled, and very unlike Marceline.  “I get it, okay? I’m the one who has to watch all those dignitaries,” she spat the word, “try to court you. I’m the one who had to watch Finn throw himself at you, knowing I couldn’t do a lumping thing to stop him. I hate seeing you parade those stupid suitors around, Bonnie. I hate seeing the way they look at you, I hate seeing the smiles you give them. Those are  _ my  _ smiles. When they join you for dinner they sit in  _ my  _ seat. They bring you gifts, they tell you boring stories, they try to claim  _ what belongs to me. _ ” A growl formed at the back of her throat, her eyes involuntarily pinning as her mind replayed all of the injustices for her, against her desire.

The princess was floored. While Marceline’s jealous tendencies were never a surprise now was not the time for them to rear their ugly heads, and she had expected her to have the good sense to realize that on her own. Pink cheeks flushed in infuriation.“I wouldn’t allow any of those things to happen if you would just let our relationship be a matter for the public! You can’t claim me without doing the work for it, you donkus!” Marceline shrank back. It was very rare indeed that her lover raised her voice at her in anger, true anger. But it’s not like the vampire could argue that point, and even she wasn’t bullheaded enough to fight her on it. When she didn’t retaliate Bubblegum continued, animosity having failed to subside. “I’m a princess, Marceline, and one day I will have to marry royalty. As far as the kingdom… no, as far as all of Ooo knows I’m eligible and without a suitor, and so it is perfectly within the rights of other kingdoms to send their eligible princes to win my hand. I’ve denied them all - they know I don’t date - but I can’t exactly refute their attempts without making it public that I’m already being courted rather successfully, and  _ someone _ won’t let me do that!” Her words were cold enough to chill even the undead queen, who had fallen silent and suddenly felt very, very small. It had been decades since she had been on the receiving end of such vitriol. “Do you know how hard it is for me, Marcy? You can galavant and, and… party the night away while I’m forced to spend my nights entertaining dignitaries. You can ignore your birthright, sing to the moon, knowing with such security that when you do meander back to me I will let you back in my bed.” She stopped for effect. “Why do you-”

Abruptly, Marceline took a deep, steadying breath. “I’m not an idiot, Bon. If I took over the Nightosphere I would have an actual kingdom again, and you could acknowledge me as your mate. Girlfriend. Whatever! So I go back sometimes… just to try-”  _ To be good enough for you.  _ She let that part go unspoken. Bonnibel’s look was unreadable and the half-demon bit her cheek in her discomfort. 

“What do you do when you go back there?” Marceline swallowed the tangy dead blood from her cheek. She hadn’t even realized it was there, though she was now painfully aware of her flesh stitching itself back together. It made speaking cumbersome, and she hoped it would go unnoticed. Bonnibel had rules about absent-minded self-mutilation. “Mostly make my presence known. You know, send a message about what kingdoms on the surface world are off limits or I break faces and junk. Make it abundantly clear that you’re off limits and I will not hesitate to murder every would-be assassin in increasingly creative and barbaric ways.” 

“Do you visit your father?” Garnet eyes slitted, narrowing suspiciously. She didn’t know where this was going but she didn’t like it. When she didn’t respond Bonnibel tried a different way. “What would it mean for you to take over the Nightosphere? You never talk about it.”  _ And I deserve to know.  _ She didn’t say that part.

Marceline seemed to debate internally as to how much she should reveal. “I would rule over the whole place, Bon. I would sow chaos, rule with an iron fist, you know? I’d have to stay in one place, handle paperwork, play golf with Death. No more touring, no more harassing surface-dwellers for fun, no more random adventures with Finn and Jake.” She hesitated at this point, but continued. If she failed to reveal everything it would constitute a lie by omission, and she didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that lecture. “I would need to take the old man’s amulet. It’s… well, it’s kind of hard to explain what it is exactly, but it’s the source of most of his power, and it’d be the source of mine. But it’s dangerous, Bon. Wearing it…” She shuddered at the memory, but Bubblegum wasn’t going to let her off that easily. Her hand wrapped around its grey companion, offering a reassuring squeeze as she led the older woman to sit on the single bare steel bed, rather than its stool counterpart. Marceline offered a tired smile; only now was her journey starting to catch up with her.  _ Leave it to Bonnie to notice before I did.  _ She wasn’t kidding about the candy woman being in her head.

“Finn mentioned it.”

Now she was awake. Suddenly her summoning the two champions was beginning to make more sense. Why else would they be involved if not to rat her out?

“Oh.”

Not her most eloquent response, but what else was she supposed to say?

“What was it like, Marcy?”

Her voice had become very soft, a tone of voice reserved solely for the vampire, as so much of the princess was. The half-demon wanted to argue, wanted to refuse point blank to answer the question, but green eyes were pleading with her own and she could feel her typically iron will bend. That falter was reserved solely for the princess, as so much of the vampire was. Her own voice was strained, forced to recall something her mind was hoping to block out for centuries more.

“It feeds off of you. It takes those dark aspects of you, the ones you try to control, and it amplifies them. It enhances you, yeah, but it does it by drawing out the worst in you. Pieces of yourself you don’t want to admit are there. It’ll find them, and it’ll shove them in your face, and the urge to act on them is irresistible.” Marceline paused, closing her eyes. “In daddy’s case it brings out his sadism. He’s literally Lord Evil after all. It allows him to focus on deriving power by subjugating others, torturing them for no real reason except stuff and giggles. He’s had it long enough that he can relish in it. And he does. All the time. Loudly.”

“Marceline, when the boys were trying to rescue you from the Nightosphere… what did you feel?”

Marceline stayed silent for what felt like hours, hoping that her princess would lose interest. She didn’t, and she was forced to spill her secret. “Rage, Bonnie. Just… anger. I could feel every repressed aggressive feeling jump to the surface. Every injustice. If it was a thought I’d logicked out that just made it worse, because I became acutely aware of all the flaws in the my reasoning, and that just made me madder. There’s no coming down from that. If they hadn’t gotten it off of me I could have killed everything. Can you imagine the destruction I could bring to the surface world? Ooo isn’t exactly fortified against a rampaging demon. Your kingdom is made of sugar for Glob’s sake. I could wang the place to pieces, eat everyone red, kill everyone else… maybe even go back to drinking blood. And I would  _ like  _ it. I could destroy… everything.” Her eyes opened to allow her to stare at the ceiling.

“You’ve never exactly hid from your demonic nature. How is this different?”

Marceline tore her gaze away from the white monotony of the ceiling, back to her princess. “It’s different because I’m not in control. It’s not on my terms. If I’m going to tear someone in half I want it to be because I chose to, not because some amulet told me that it’d be fun. I mean, it would be fun. But you know what I mean.” Bonnibel nodded. How could she not? The princess had a dark streak of her own, and while she rarely did something as outlandish as rip creatures in half she had her own propensities, her own urges that, should the public be made aware, would result in revulsion and perhaps riots. It was one of the traits they shared, and she emphasized her compassion by taking a seat on the metal table. Encouraged, the half-demon continued her explanation. “It’s addictive to have your every twisted urge rewarded. Even you provide me with structure and force rules down my throat, and you  _ like  _ that I’m basically a living weapon.”  _ Fair enough,  _ Bonnibel thought, though she would never dare voice her agreement. Instead she reached out, motioning for the red-eyed woman to rest her head in her lap where she could stroke her inky-black hair.

The silence returned, but had evolved into something more comfortable. Although she was outwardly calm Bonnibel’s thoughts were racing and she was laboring to wrestle them under control. She succeeded about the same time soft purring resonated from her lap, pink fingers having found a seemingly magical spot behind a grey ear.  _ Not that there’s such a thing as magic, of course. Just sensitive skin, gingerly tended to, culminating in a relaxed vampire.  _ It never ceased to astonish the candy golem that she could hold one of the most dangerous creatures in all of Ooo in her arms passively, like a common housepet. Marceline knew her better than anyone, living, dead, or anywhere in between, and Bubblegum suddenly found herself with a deep sense of affection for the older woman, the only one to know that the pink princess could be just as dangerous, if not more so. For all of Marceline’s strength she still possessed the full gamut of human(oid) emotions. Even Bubblegum couldn’t say if the same could be said of her. Green eyes gazed at her girlfriend’s relaxed face with a strange mixture of envy and pity. Reluctantly, she broke the silence. She still needed to win this battle before her champions found them; if the heroes arrived before she could convince Marceline to agree to her plan the vampire would simply shut down, and then she would be back to where she started on this topic. This was the closest she had ever come. She had to press her advantage. “Do you know what the biological handicap principle is, Marcy?” A grey head shook slightly, clearly trying not to detach from the pink hand still petting her.

“The biological handicap principle is a paradoxical scientific phenomenon that suggests certain organisms engage or display extravagant counterproductive traits or behaviors in order to signal other organisms, typically a potential mate, that they are honest or reliable.” A red eye half-opened, the purring stopping. The explanation continued. “Like when an animal engages in a behavior that, logically, should hurt its ability to survive in order to signal its strength and desirability.” Bonnibel waited to see if Marceline would catch her admittedly clumsy attempt to explain her sentiment for the vampire, but quickly deduced that, no, she did not. While the princess would normally shy away from such emotional displays this was her secret weapon, as science so often was.

“Well, it’s like…” She stopped, quickly ordering her thoughts into something coherent for a punk layman. “It’s easy to let you protect me. Every night when we go to sleep I always take my rightful spot in your arms. There’s no place safer for me. All of my creations were built predisposed to worshipping me. I command their loyalty by design. My will is their will, and it’s pretty great, without a doubt. But they have their weaknesses. I know what they are because I built them, and they, logically, try to avoid situations that exploit their weaknesses and harm them. You, on the contrary, actively engage in risky and dangerous behavior on my account, whether or not I express that I want you to. You take it upon yourself to put yourself in mortal danger every day you’d spend with me. You know the risks, yet you possess the will to do what you want anyway. You’re an impossible puzzle, a cypher I have yet to crack. It’s exquisite really. But there is one important thing I do know: My children were designed to love me, worship me, and protect me. I can count on that, but I can also count on their weaknesses. Their propensity to explode, exacerbated by their innate cowardice are two such weaknesses. But your weaknesses are so very different. Curiously, many of them are about me, which is of course to my advantage. But it isn’t about advantage with you. You’ve protected me for hundreds of years of your own choice. I’m your greatest weakness.” Green eyes turned fond as they watched garnet eyes slide close once more.

“And you know? That realization made me feel some mixed up things. I wanted to exploit you when I first reached this realization. I wanted to wrap you around my little finger. I wanted the control over one of the most powerful beings in Ooo. I couldn’t figure out why you would subject yourself to such masochistic tendencies. I needed to understand, needed to know the limitations of your demeanor. I spent an inordinate amount of time with that desire, forming and testing dozens of hypotheses, which you did nothing to help.” The older monarch smirked, not moving. “It took me years of investigation and experimentation, and when I finally solved the conundrum I realized that you must love me. That’s what it means to be someone’s greatest weakness. And you’d defy all of the logic I hold infallible to be my companion. So, I feel safe around my citizens and my guards, but in your arms I’m untouchable.” She paused, letting her speech sink in before going for the kill. “If we can announce our union, if you would consent to publicly profess to being my suitor, then we would never need to separate. You could come out of the light of day, into my arms, where you belong.”

Marceline tensed, but didn’t pull away. This was a good sign, Bonnibel decided. The vampire had a notorious tendency to attempt to run when she felt cornered, and the reality that she was still lounging comfortably could only be a sign that she was giving the speech serious consideration.  _ Or she fell asleep.  _ When the undead monarch sighed the younger woman allowed herself a smile.  _ Okay, not asleep. Excellent.  _ “Responsibility demands sacrifice, huh Bon?” She said it without any humor, not bothering to hide the ashen tone. Still, she did not move, and the candy woman rewarded this development by placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. When pink fingers intertwined with grey she relaxed. “To be honest, Bonnie, I don’t give a stuff about the Nightosphere.” Bonnibel frowned.  _ Please say ‘but’...  _ “But…”  _ Yes!  _ “I do give a stuff about you. And having responsibility for you. And if that means-” She choked on her words, flushing at the humiliation of having done so. “...I’ll try to control the amulet. But that’s all I’m promising. Not that I’ll take over daddy’s position. Just that I’ll try to control the stupid thing.”

Part of Bonnibel  felt almost guilty at having manipulated her girlfriend to get what she wanted, using her heartguts feelings as a weapon to wear down her resistance. She did care deeply for the vampire, and that part of her knew such a tactic was unfair, almost dirty. But that part of her was small and insignificant. The rest of Princess Bubblegum was elated at having finally won this argument after centuries of trying. It wasn’t like she was lying, of course. She did truly feel that way for the other woman, but Marceline had been difficult for long enough. It was time to put her millennia of experience to work and rule at the candy monarch’s side, she simply wasn’t responsible enough on her own to realize it for herself.  _ You’ll see, Marcy. This is for the best. You’re making a wise choice. _

“That’s why you’re bringing the guys over, isn’t it? To convince me to go get the amulet?”

Bonnibel shook her head. “No, Marcy, not to convince you. I merely anticipated that you were ready for this next step in your life, and knowing that they have experience in the Nightosphere I thought you might enjoy having some-”  _ bodyguards “ _ ...company when we make the journey.”

One garnet eye, thankfully dilated, opened as Marceline raised an eyebrow. “When ‘we’ make the journey?”

Bubblegum nodded. “Of course! I’m going with you, obvs. And before you object, yes, I’m aware it’s a messed up place, but it’s part of who you are and I think it only fair on my part to see it.”  _ And to keep an eye on you.  _ Marceline nodded absently, opening both eyes. The silence between them seemed to stretch. When the vampire spoke again she didn’t bother to contain the nervousness in her voice. 

“Bon… if I do try to control the amulet, and it wastes me-” 

Bubblegum wouldn’t let her finish that thought. She cupped both side of her face, directing it so that their eyes locked. “-Then I’ll put you back together again. Stitch by stitch.” She offered her softest smile and was rewarded with a slow but clear nod.

Were Marceline a logical creature she would have sensed the danger lurking beneath that comment. She would have outright refused, sticking to her guns, refusing to risk not only her safety but the safety of her friends. But she was not a logical being, she was a forsaken soul, ruled by instinct, that the younger woman could play like a violin. Deep in her heartguts she had always suspected that this would, in time, be her undoing. Despite this, however, she acted impulsively, as she nearly always did. “Alright, Bon. I trust you.”

They stayed in that position for several minutes, though they barely noticed. When Finn and Jake finally made their appearance, yelling absolutely nothing intelligent in the vacant hallway, elated to be called on for a grand mission, they found Princess Bubblegum sitting ramrod straight on the metal table, caressing a small black, fluffy bat in her lap. It was dozing, curled back pressed against a pink torso, content.


	2. Price of Loyalty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, remember when I said there would eventually be smut? Well, there's now smut.

Of all of the things Finn and Jake had expected to see when summoned to Princess Bubblegum’s laboratory a dark black bat sleeping in her lap, given the royal treatment of affection was not one of them. Finn knew the two had become intensely close since the dual vampire and elemental incidents, but it was rare enough to see the princess engage in sentiment, let alone with a person who regularly harassed and disturbed her for stuff and giggles. Despite their arrival she hadn’t stopped her ministrations, which made the entire situation all the weirder, and the boy was at a loss. Jake, on the other hand, immediately had suspicions, especially when the bat opened one eye, closed it, and immediately cuddled closer, with a mischievous smirk no less, to the pink woman in what he recognized as a clear declaration of “ _ mine”.  _ He should know; he had a history of doing the exact same thing of Lady Rainicorn when they were first dating, particularly when she and Finn first started to become close.

‘Awkward’ did not begin to describe the situation.

“So…,” Finn began, but the sentence didn’t seem to lead anywhere productive. He coughed, and involuntary reaction betraying how uncomfortable he was. “So, uh… what did you want to see us for PB?” The princess stopped petting the bat. She had thought of so many socially acceptable ways to explain the situation to her champions, but now that the moment had arrived she found herself hesitating, cursing her own reluctance. It demonstrated a lack of control, and as experience had shown if she let this situation sit too long-

The bat rolled off her lap, allowing Marceline to assume her normal form as she laid on her back, floating in the air. Marceline had yet to change out of her travel clothes, and while Finn blushed at her torn pants Jake squirmed at the copious blood on her shirt and boots. The smirk never wavered. “Bonnie has something to tell you.”

...Marceline would ruin everything. She glared at the vampire. “You’re not helping, Marceline.” 

A black eyebrow raised. “Did you really expect me to?” 

_ No, I suppose not. _ The younger woman took a deep breath, held it, then exhaled to calm her nerves. This situation would have to be handled delicately; she had no idea if Finn still possessed the same infatuation for her he had when he was younger. He was approaching manhood now, but heartgut feelings didn’t dissipate easily. Her hopes rode on his natural heroic tendencies would outweigh any hesitation on his part. After counting slowly to ten she began, assuring that her posture never shifted from ramrod straight. She had an image to maintain after all.

“Finn, Jake, once again I must call on your gallant services.” A brief pause. “We need to enter the Nightosphere.”

“Tell ‘em why, Bonnie.” 

It was almost sing-song, taunting her. It was Marceline’s way of coping, this she knew in her heart, but it didn’t make it any less unbearable. She shot her a pointed look, and to her surprise the half-demon held up her hands in what she suspected was a mock surrender. Her irritability was palpable, and while she was typically quite good at keeping her mental states under control she was exhausted. The night had been long and emotionally charged, and it wasn’t until that moment she realized that it had been eating at her sanity, or at least her better judgment. “Why don’t  _ you  _ tell them, Marceline?,” she snapped.

She recognized her mistake immediately, but it was too late. Her vampire’s eyes widened in glee, her own in horror. It was a subtle change, one only someone who knew her as well as her lover would register, but it was enough. The smirk had become a grin, the same grin that often preceded her making the princess’s life difficult, her tone becoming a strange combination of mocking and relieved, and the young monarch hoped that the boy realized that such a voice was aimed at her, not him. “Finn, Jake, there’s no easy way to tell you this, but there is a fun way.” 

A pink faced buried in pink hands. “Marcy, please don’t do what I think you’re going to do.” 

“Oh, I’m going to do exactly what you think I’m going to do.” 

“Marceline-” her admonishment was cut short when a grey hand lifted her chin, another pair of lips meeting her own with noticeable force. It was less romantic and more a message. She let it happen, knowing that the incorrigible vampire would not be stopped until she made her point. When she did pull away the princess crossed her arms, scowling. “Marceline, was that really necessary?” It was less a question and more of a statement. 

Her lover didn’t answer, literally rolling in the air laughing. “Your face!”

‘Floored’ did not begin to describe Finn’s expression. His eyes were wide in disbelief, his remaining arm twitching uncomfortably. Somehow, a rational thought escaped his shock.  _ Oh, that actually explains a lot. _ He turned to Jake, desperate for someone else to share his disbelief, but to his displeasure the dog merely shrugged. “Eh, called it.” 

Finn blinked, snapping out of his stunned paralysis. “What? When did you call this?!” 

Jake blinked at him. “No, I mean in my head.” The human clenched his fist, glaring at his brother. Jake looked confused. “What? It’s pretty obvious if you think about it.” He held up a finger. “They’ve known each other forever.” Two fingers. “Remember the Door Lord? PB’s most precious item was her shirt.” Three fingers. “And when she almost candied everyone? Marceline was the one who stayed closest and protected her.” Four fingers. “The entire vampire incident.” Five fingers. “The princess hasn’t ever dated, and I don’t think Marceline has since Ash, and we saw how jacked up that stuff was.” He held up a sixth finger as the undead monarch helpfully chimed in, “Hambo.” Jake blinked. “I don’t know what that is, but sure.” He held up a seventh finger, but was interrupted when Finn sighed in resignation.

“Okay, okay, I get it.” He lifted his head towards the princess, looking thoughtful. “But wait. I’ve seen you guys fight. Like, a lot. A lot a lot.” 

Bubblegum’s expression shifted, reminding him of his mother’s when he was a child and she had to explain some complex adult stuff. “Finn, we’ve known each other like forever. We’re not always going to get along.” He nodded. This made sense, and he quickly made a decision, resolute in his reasoning, as abrupt as the situation was. 

“Well ladybros, I’m happy for you. But why haven’t you told anyone.” The subtext was painfully obvious.  _ Why didn’t you tell me so that I didn’t hurt myself trying to date you?  _

Once again, it was Marceline to the anti-rescue. “Go on, Bon.” 

This time the candy woman was having none of it, and she shot her mate a look that chilled her undead bones. “No, Marceline. You tell them.” Her voice had become guarded, almost emotionless, so fed up she was. At first the vampire considered arguing, but she saw the repressed emotion in her eyes, an emotion she wasn’t sure she recognized. Indignation? Exasperation? Enmity? She didn’t want to find out. With a gulp she straightened, touching on the floor. It was a sign only Bonnibel would understand, a signal of her submission. It did nothing to relieve the look she was being subjected to and she began to suspect she may have gone too far.

“It’s complicated-”

“No it isn’t.”

She tightened her lips in a straight line. Her first instinct was to argue that point, but her second instinct registered that she was on thin ice as it was. The two instincts briefly warred with one another, but her desire to remain in her lover’s good graces won out, as it almost always did. Or at least had for the past six or seven years. With a jolt she realized that she had started to behave herself about the same time she first met Finn and Jake.  _ Okay, maybe inviting them wasn’t the worst idea. Not that I’m telling Bonnie that. Ever.  _ The fact that she couldn’t immediately place why this might be was bothersome, but she had bigger problems at the moment. Aware that three pairs of eyes were looking at her expectantly, and that a pink throat had cleared in an obvious sigh that her patience was wearing thin, she groaned in acceptance.

“We couldn’t tell you. We couldn’t tell anyone.” She wrung her hands, a way of relieving tension. “Bonnibel’s a princess. Princesses marry other royalty. It’s like, the law or something. I don’t know. Stupid to me, but what do I know? Bonnie, don’t answer that.” Without even looking at her girlfriend she could see the smug smirk had returned in her mind’s eye. “She can’t just date anyone, no matter how awesome they are. She needs someone who’s allowed to sit on a throne and do ruler junk. I don’t meet that. I mean, I could, but don’t, you know? So she’s-”  _ The best thing to ever happen to me.  _ “-been waiting for me.” 

Finn nodded along, but Jake tilted his head. “But you’re  _ the  _ Vampire Queen. You ganked the Vampire King and everything. We saw it!”

Surprisingly, the princess took pity on her queen and continued for her. “That’s true, but she lacks a kingdom. She’s royalty in name only. In order to publicly acknowledge our relationship she would need to-”  _ Get over herself, glob it Marcy!  _ “-take over the Nightosphere. It’s her birthright after all. And that’s where you two come in.”

Both Finn and Jake shared a look, and Bubblegum continued. “We want to travel to the Nightosphere, confront her father, and see about getting the amulet.” 

Finn understood immediately. “Oh! And you want us to come to be protective and heroic?” He didn’t wait for an answer, instead puffing out his chest, slamming his fist against it twice. “We can totally do that, Peebles!” 

Jake, on the other hand, looked unconvinced. “Eh… I don’t know. That place is bad news. Literally, bro. Can’t we just stay up here.” He shrugged. “This whole secret dating thing seems to be working out. Remember the last time we were there?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “They put us in a cage  _ with the stuff _ .” 

Finn’s look was of disbelief. “Jake, we have to help them! They’re our ladybros! It’s a mission of  _ love _ ! We’re Ooos heroes, and this is for the good of the whole wowzers place.” 

Jake still looked unconvinced. “Yeah, but that placed is messed up. Hunson barely let us leave last time!” 

Finn shrugged. “He’s not so bad. He even promised not to kill us and suck out our souls.” Unseen by the two, Marceline raised her brow in skepticism at that remark. Finn pressed his argument. “Besides, we’ll be with Marce.” He turned to look at his undead friend. “She’s not going to let anything happen to us, right?” 

Marceline shrugged. “Probably not?” 

Finn either didn’t understand or ignored her half-promise, as well as the fact that it was phrased as a question, returning his attention to the dog. “See? We go in, get the amulet, come back, make some celebratory sandwiches, call it a day.” 

At that Jake suddenly seemed to consider the idea. “Sandwiches, huh…” As he debated with himself Finn and Bonnibel looked at him hopefully, whereas Marceline seemed to consider the window once again. Bubblegum caught her longing expression out of the corner of her eye, but graciously did not call attention to it, confident her lover wouldn’t do anything stupid.  _ She knows the rules. _

With a nod, Jake slammed his fist into his hand. “Alright! Let’s do this and get some sandwiches!” At the same time the two fist-bumped the princess took the queen’s hand, offering a reassuring squeeze. For a brief moment Marceline was shocked at the subtle yet public display of affection, but squeezed back. 

With all the dignity afforded to a woman of her lineage Princess Bubblegum hopped off of the steel table, straightening. “Alright boys, get some rest. We’re going to head off as soon as the sun sets.” 

Finn saluted with his metal arm. “Your wish is my command, m’lady. Come on Jake!” He didn’t need to be told twice, both heroes turning to run out of the lab, at least one of them excited by the prospect of a new adventure, leaving the two royals alone in the lab.

For almost two solid minutes they were silent, just staring at the door the two had run out of without bothering to close. When their discussion about what kind of sandwiches to make faded Marceline eyed the princess. “Why sundown?” 

Her smile was soft. “We’re both exhausted, Marcy. Don’t deny it, I know. Besides…” Another surprise, the princess initiated a hug. “...I want you to myself today.” Deep down, Marceline knew this was another tactic of the pink princess. She knew herself well enough to know that she was enticed by physical contact, and her girlfriend was abusing this knowledge, assuring that she would not run. That didn’t stop her heartguts though, nor did it stop her from returning the hug. She was too proud to admit that she needed the affection, and though she was fully aware of her mate’s manipulative tendencies she hardly saw fit to stop her. After all, she trusted the younger woman completely.

It didn’t hurt that she knew exactly what she was implying, what she was hinting that she actually wanted, and how could the half-demon say no to that?

Bonnibel broke the embrace, giving her vampire a very specific kind of look.  _ Let’s go Marcy. Don’t keep me waiting.  _ When the princess strolled out of the door she followed, waiting for her to seal the door before following her towards her room. To Marceline, it was fortunate that the two saw none of the royal staff on their way to the candy woman’s rooms. She wasn’t in the mood to socialize, she was in the mood for a long shower, enjoying quality time with Bonnibel, then sleeping the day away. It was for these reasons that she didn’t resist being almost literally pulled along while resisting the urge to dive out of the balcony, return to her cave home-  _...And hide there forever, because she’s stubborn and vindictive and used to getting what she wants and she knows that I’m just going to do whatever she wants because I’m wrapped around her little finger Glob Marcy what are you even doing?!  _ She snapped out of her stream of thought when she realized that Bubblegum was speaking to her, and she had missed everything.

“Sorry Bon, kind of zoned out.”

The second surprise of the evening, Bonnibel didn’t berate her for effectively ignoring her, one of her greatest pet peeves. If anything, her nod was understanding, and Marceline supposed she must look as exhausted as she felt if she was being granted such mercy. “I was saying that I imagine you’ll want a shower before we go to bed. Leave your clothes outside of the bathroom. I still have a trunk of your clothes by the closet, you should be able to find an outfit appropriate for tomorrow.” Marceline nodded absently. She didn’t want to think about tomorrow. When they finally reached the bedroom Bonnibel entered first, drawing the black out curtains to block out the fatal sun. Free to move, the vampire immediately and wordlessly made for the bathroom, hoping that a long shower would wash away the feeling of dread that had been building throughout the evening. After the forethought to remove her footwear she entered the bathroom. No sooner had she untied her hair was there a knock on the door. “Marcy, I need your clothes.” She rolled her eyes but stripped quickly, opening the door and throwing them into the bedroom without ceremony. 

In response Bubblegum sighed in annoyance. She knew the vampire was tired and cranky but that was hardly an excuse for such distasteful behavior. After gathering the discarded clothing she set to work separating them, throwing the bloody shirt into the royal laundry basket and discarding the near ruined jeans. When she saw her vampire’s panties and bra were white she frowned and tossed those two; Marceline made it a point to only wear red underwear, and she hoped that this wasn’t an indication that she had been without food for a prolonged period of time. Feeling a small amount of worry she opened the vampire’s trunk, knowing that she kept snacks in there. As she searched for something both red and food she registered the bathroom’s lock clicked. That hurt, and her first thought was that her girlfriend was angry with her, but she favored her logical reasoning that she was probably just emotionally drained and needed a moment to reflect and maybe, if the candy woman was lucky, be a bit introspective for once in her unlife. She smiled slyly.  _ Don’t worry Marcy. I’ll help you feel better. _

Inside the bathroom Marceline turned on the shower, but rather than immediately jump in, as was her original intention, she buried her face in her hands and yelled as quietly and as long as possible, hoping that the sound of the water would drown it out. When she received silence in return she breathed a sigh of relief; sometimes a demon, even a half-demon, just needed to let out her dissatisfaction with the world, and while her normal method was to go kill something that wasn’t going to help her in this specific situation. She took a deep breath, held it for as long as she could, then exhaled.  _ Focus, Marceline. First, check the damage.  _ Her nudity allowed her a full view of the fruits of her Nightosphere labor; a large gash barely scabbed on her side perhaps as long as her hand, a bruise the size of an apple on her thigh, a puncture wound on her shoulder. As a creature with the ability to heal she naturally had a high pain tolerance, but it had proven difficult to heal her wounds while dealing with the evening’s chaos. Her fatigue didn’t help either. Fortunately, most of her wounds were either healed or close enough, and she hoped that Bubblegum wouldn’t notice the light silver scar running up the side of her left leg, or the slowly healing claw mark on her neck.  _ But she will. She always does.  _ Half of the injuries she didn’t even remember receiving, but she had been lucky; none of the injuries were immediately visible, and while that wouldn’t help her Bonnibel situation it did mean they would be invisible to Finn and Jake.  _ And daddy.  _ That thought was bitter. She loved her father, and the two had reconciled years ago, but some wounds heal slowly, especially psychological ones.  _ And now I have to face it all over again.  _ For a brief, horrible moment she cursed the princess deep into her core. She shook her head to clear that thought, uncomfortable not knowing where it came from.

After taking full stock of her injuries in the large vanity mirror she entered the shower, which, true to Bonnibel’s at-times egotistical nature, was perhaps the best shower she had ever used and she took her sweet time using it. Partly because it could only be described as luxurious, with its dozens of settings and responsive temperature control, and partly because it was almost entirely soundproof, a feature the princess had added after the vampire officially moved in. She closed the curtain with a bit more force than necessary and was entirely relieved that she didn’t break it, rewarding herself by figuratively diving into the water. Yet no matter how hard she scrubbed she just couldn’t feel clean after her journey. Her attempts rubbed her skin raw, and they healed slower than normal, her ability hindered by both her lethargy and the number of other wounds it had to work on. 

When she finally gave up on cleansing herself fully she reluctantly shut off the water and opened the curtain. One of the most curious aspects of the bathroom to her was that her lover had absolutely insisted on building a towel warmer, something Marceline considered ridiculously extravagant. The joke was on her, though, when she realized that few simple joys were better than a warm, fluffy towel after a cold shower. All of the towels were various unfashionable shades of pink, making her skin crawl. As she dried herself she was almost overwhelmed by the urge to drain the things, only realizing at that moment how hungry she was. She elongated her fangs before a sweet voice reared itself in the back of her mind.  _ Don’t eat the towels, Marceline, I’m very fond of them.  _ With a frown she retracted her fangs and wrapped one would-be foodstuff around her torso, another around her long hair, which was no easy feat.

By the time she exited the bathroom the princess had turned off the lights and crawled into bed. Not that it bothered the older woman; being a vampire had its perks, and perfect night vision was one of them. Still, Bonnibel had buried herself under what seemed like every blanket in the world, all shades of pink. Her stomach rumbled loudly, the response a muffled voice. “On the desk, Marcy.” Obediently, she turned and was rewarded with the sight of a large pile of red. Half a dozen apples, a couple of erasers, even a handtowel. Curiously, there was also a small book with a red cover, and the urge to open it was almost unbearable. Hunger won out though, and she sank her fangs into every piece of red available, the contents of the book quickly forgotten. When she got to the bottom of the pile she froze, an involuntary gasp escaping her. She could hear a light laugh from under the blankets, Bubblegum clearly amused by her reaction to seeing one of the princess’s own bras - scarlet, her favorite flavor - sitting there like dessert. A helpful voice piped up, “I thought you could use some dessert.” 

Once again, Marceline was briefly uncomfortable with how deep the princess was in her mind, but once again hunger won out. Once it was drained she found her hunger finally sated, and she grinned. “Thanks, Bon.” 

“You’re welcome, Marcy. Now, come to bed. It’s big and empty.” She couldn’t argue with that point and dropped both towels on the floor with no regard for what the absorbed water would do to the nice clean floor. She hadn’t bothered to dig through her trunk to find something to sleep in; her sleeping nude wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence. It was her princess who prefered soft, flowing nightgowns while she slept.

By the time Marceline slid under the seemingly half a dozen blankets she noticed four things simultaneously.

The first was that Bonnibel was stark nude.

The second was that she had, without hesitation, all but pounced on the vampire, pinning her to the bed.

The third was that her hair had been blatantly brushed to the left side, entirely exposing the right side of her neck and shoulder.

The fourth was that at about the same time she had been pinned the princess had pressed her thigh against her core.

Upon all four of these realizations striking her Marceline flushed deeply. This was clearly taken as a victory, because her lover allowed herself a satisfied, smug grin that bordered on cruel. Her voice became sweet, almost affable. Almost. “Hello Marceline.” The half-demon could only stare. It wasn’t like the candy monarch to be so forward, she was more inclined to let things progress slowly. Not that Marceline was complaining. In fact, she wasn’t saying much of anything for several long moments. It took considerable effort to find her voice. 

“...Hey Bonnie.” 

She was rewarded with a very gentle, sweet kiss.

At first neither monarchs moved, Marceline temporarily paralyzed, Bonnibel clearly pleased with herself that she had managed to take one of the most powerful beings in all of Ooo by surprise. The part of the vampire’s brain that was capable of logic slowly began to register that as pinned as she was she was still far stronger than her girlfriend. Realizing how quickly she could turn the tables, she gave an impish smirk and prepared to yank at least one arm free.  _ You’re not in charge of everything, Bon.  _ Unfortunately, her plan was preceded by her squirming slightly, betraying her. In response the princess pressed her thigh against the vampire hard, moving it up slightly to grind against her. She gasped involuntarily, closing her eyes against a shudder.  _...Nevermind.  _

When she opened them again she realized her right arm had been released, a pink hand stroking her cheek. “I didn’t say you could move, now did I?” Realizing that she may be outmatched, a grey head shook. “Are you going to behave?”

“Probably not,” Marceline blurted out thoughtlessly, her eyes widening at her own folly.  _ She might be on to something with the whole ‘think before you speak’ lecture.  _

Two pink eyebrows rose in surprise. “Well, at least you’re honest.”  _ That makes it more fun anyway.  _ The hand left her cheek, sliding down slowly. It stopped in the middle of a grey chest, above a dead heart. Bubblegum lowered her head against a sensitive ear, forcing her lover to come within striking distance of her neck. The vampire whimpered, badly resisting every primal instinct to bite and drain her mate for all the pink she was worth. Warm breath on a cool ear certainly wasn’t helping matters. Marceline whimpered in response. “I missed you, Marcy.” The hand moved, tracing the base of grey breasts. “Did you miss me?” Her hips rolled, once again pressing a pink leg against her core, eliciting another shudder. 

“Of… of course I missed you, Bon. How couldn’t I?”

Bonnibel smiled against her girlfriend’s ear nibbling her earlobe, drawing a soft moan.  _ Right answer.  _ She sighed overdramatically. “You were gone for two weeks. Can you imagine how hard that was for me? Not knowing if you were alright or if you were coming home?” She pulled away from the ear to give her captive a thoughtful look. The hand on her chest began circling her left breast in a way that reminded Marceline of a predator stalking its prey. 

She felt a pang of guilt. “You know I’ll always come home to you, Bonnie.” Her voice hitched at the end as her breast was squeezed and massaged. 

“Do you promise, Marcy?” 

There was no hesitation in her answer. “I promise.” 

The hand trailed up the breast, finding an almost painfully erect nipple, circling it. The half-demon arched, coupled with a sharp intake of breath. Encouraged and just a bit amused she pinched the grey nub, delighting in the resulting moan. “Just one more thing, Marcy…” Demonic eyes slid closed as she felt her girlfriend leave her ear, kissing down her throat. Hovering over two ancient scars. 

“Y… yeah Bon?” To her dismay Bonnibel trailed away from her neck, kissing down to her chest. Her dismay began to shift into something else entirely when she felt the hand slide away, replaced with warm breath. Now her other breast received the same massage, and she did nothing to stifle her moan.

“I need you to do something for me. Can you?” 

Eyes entirely too glazed to be healthy opened to watch her. “You-” 

She was interrupted by pink lips kissing the nub, so softly it was agonizing. By now her flush had spread to her chest, much to the princess’s delight. “You know that I’d do anything for you, Bonnibel.” Her voice was soft, desperation growing from the teasing. There was a pause so loaded the half-demon began to worry that she had said the wrong thing.

Instead she felt a warm mouth close around her nipple, sucking hard. Once again Marceline arched, her one free hand burying itself in pink hair in a silent plea to not stop. Not wanting to leave out its sister the princess pinched the other nipple, rubbing it slowly with her thumb. When she finally lifted off of it she blew on it softly, satisfied with the groan that resulted, still toying with the other nipple. “I need you to royal promise. Can you do that for me?” The question was asked softly, sweetly, lovingly, in a voice dripping with sincerity, so unlike her normal requests. When she received no response, the vampire beginning to pant instead, she decided to give her a little push. Immediately her hand and mouth switched, Marceline’s moans only increasing in volume and frequency. 

She could feel conscious thought begin to fade from her mind, that larger, instinctual part beginning to take over. Still, her princess had asked her a question, and though it took immense concentration there was no hesitancy in her voice. “I… I royal promise Bonnibel. I will always come back to you.” She whimpered when the younger royal lifted from her breast, smiling. 

“Good girl. I think you deserve a treat. Don’t you?”  _ Trick question, Marcy. I don’t want you thinking at all.  _ Not waiting for an answer she began to trail kisses back up her chest, over her throat, stopping once more over the twin scars. “If I let go over your hand do you promise to behave?” Marceline nodded quickly, trying to control her breathing. It had always fascinated Bonnibel that when they made love the vampire, who was by all logic dead, would pant. The vampire herself had no explanation for the behavior, and it was one of those things that she had, in time, learned to let go.

It didn’t make it any less delicious.

“I’ll be good!” The promise was rushed, a clear sign that thinking was an ability quickly failing her, much to Bubblegum’s satisfaction. 

“Oh good. Otherwise this next part might be difficult.” Marceline didn’t have time to wonder what she meant; her lover had kissed the scars gently before biting, then sucking them. Hands became claws, found a pink back, and raked as her vampire choked back a pleasured scream. Bonnibel could feel sugared blood trail down from the claw marks but couldn’t find it within herself to care. In an odd way it felt wonderful.  _ Nerves that indicate pain are so similar to those that indicate pleasure, so easy to cross and confuse them. Isn’t that right, Marcy?  _ She said none of this, but rather released her throat, raising to kiss her mate fiercely. “Does that feel nice, Marceline?” The claws gripped her back, refusing to let her go. When she shifted her position her thigh once again pressed against her core, and this time she refused to move it. Instead she rocked her hips slightly, just enough to remind the half-demon who was in charge, just in case she was getting any ideas. Instead she only received a nod the undead woman’s eyes pleading wordlessly. But Bonnibel had a better idea, and leaned in once more to whisper in her ear, her neck bared once again. “How do you think it feels for me?”

That one sentence triggered something deep within Marceline’s psyche, just as her princess had hoped. Glazed eyes pinned, fangs extended, grey arms pulling the younger woman down. She offered one gentle kiss to the spot where the candy golem’s neck met her shoulder, an indicator of where she was about to strike, then buried her fangs. There was the customary pinch before Bonnibel moaned loudly, the feeling of the color draining from her candy skin euphoric. Marceline had always been adamant that her shade of red was the most delicious thing she had ever eaten, and while Bubblegum at first thought she was merely being polite she realized in time that, no, the vampire was being quite literal. Just as the princess found the feeling euphoric Marceline had described her as addictive.

Bonnibel could live with that. Gladly.

Yet the bite had one other purpose; it was a physical representation of their bond, it marked that the vampire was just as possessive as she herself. Although she would hide the bite while performing her royal duties, particularly in the presence of other dignitaries, she made it no secret to Marceline that she delighted in it, the knowledge that the half-demon was the one constant in a life filled with variables.

When she felt her muscles start to weaken the vampire detached, once again kissing the area gently, lovingly. As the vampire panted, caught in her own bliss, Bonnibel traced her fingers down her lover’s body, seeking a certain she knew would be in desperate need of attention. But on her way she found the scars the vampire had yet to heal, and although she was sure they must hurt her lover gave no indication, too lost in her own pleasure. Although worried, now was not the time for chastisement about hiding her injuries. The discovery did give her a sense of relief in a way, justifying her having royal promise to always come home.

Just as Marceline began to regain focus Bonnibel found what she was looking for and lifted her thigh away. At first her lover groaned in objection, until she felt a gentle hand cup her instead. Its owner smiled at her vampire. “My my, Marcy… you are absolutely soaked.” She gasped loudly at the sudden contact, moans escalating in volume, hips briefly bucking to drive her inside. Instead Bonnibel tsked. “What did I say about being good? Now I have to punish you.” For a brief moment she removed her hand, relishing in her lover’s frustrated whimper. “You did this to yourself, Marceline.” There was no bite to her words, they were almost musical. Taunting. A pink thumb found her clit and pressed hard, making the older monarch cry out in sheer need. “Oh? Did you enjoy that?” Still pressing, her thumb began to rub as slowly as she could, enraptured by her girlfriend’s audible desperation, some dark part of her so satisfied that she could have this much power over the future Lady Evil. The thumb abruptly turned, an index finger joining it into a pinch. She felt her lover’s core begin to clench and pulled away entirely, denying her her climax.

Marceline cried out, frustration and desperation tearing at her viciously. Her eyes opened, pleading with Bonnibel silently. With a smirk a pink hand returned to cupping her core, applying absolutely no pressure or friction whatsoever. Marceline whimpered as her girlfriend’s voice became syrupy sweet. “You know what I want to hear, Marcy. Say it and I’ll be merciful.” If the vampire could think it may have occurred to her that she could easily overpower her princess and torture her exactly as she was being tortured. However, she couldn’t. Her need was too dire, and so she willingly submitted to the final humiliation.

“Please, Bonnibel…”

It was so quiet, but exactly the right thing to say. Two fingers quickly entered the vampire, knowing exactly what to do purely by muscle memory. They roughly found her magical spot, the most sensitive area in an already sensitive body and pressed. With an adoring smile Bonnibel curled against it, twisted, and felt her mate come undone in her hands. When she came her cry was nearly a scream, her hands no longer claws as she gripped the bed, every muscle within her tensing as the candy princess’s thumb once again resumed rubbing her clit roughly, trying to extend her orgasm for as long as possible. When she was finally spent she gasped, collapsing against the bed with a wordless groan, eyes sliding shut.

Absolutely pleased with herself Bonnibel withdrew her hand, crawling over her lover to stroke her hair. “Feel better, Marcy?” 

Her response was a mumble. “Can’t talk. Can’t move.” 

The princess smiled. “Good.” She kissed the top of her head. For several minutes she merely stroked her inky black hair, admiring how almost docile she became after. 

“Hey, Bon?” 

“Yes?” 

Demonic eyes shot open, their owner grinning almost evilly. Before she could realize what was happening Bonnibel found herself pinned to the bed under an incredibly awake and not at all incapacitated vampire. Their eyes met before she lowered her head to whisper in a pink ear.

“I lied about not being able to move.”

Green eyes widened in almost panic as she realized what was happening, not that she had any desire to stop it. Marceline chuckled, moving to kiss the mark she had made on her princess’s throat. A grey hand traced her jawline, down the middle of her throat, stopping over her chest. “Let’s see how you like it.” She winked. “I bet it’s a lot.” Before Bonnibel could think of a clever retort she felt two cool hands on her breasts. Without meaning to she arched into the touch, and the vampire laughed darkly at the reaction. Marceline had always been rougher than Bonnibel, something the princess always attributed to her being half-demon.  _ Not that I’m complaining.  _ It felt too wonderful to have the other woman squeeze her breasts, kneading them everywhere except where she wanted it most. Despite her normally calm and collected demeanor she let out a whimper, arching once more. 

“Marcy…” 

“Don’t ‘Marcy’ me, Bonnie. You’re just getting what’s coming to you.” Her smirk was mischievous when she realized that both of Bubblegum’s nipples were already hard, and her eyes suddenly lit up with the realization. “Bonnie… were you getting off teasing me?” Her tone was teasing, but she still stopped her ministrations. The princess, meanwhile, blushed fiercely and turned away. When Marceline laughed she was relieved that it wasn’t mocking, but was actually one of affection. “And you were going to let me get off and ignore yourself?” She had no retort to that.  _ Caught you, Bon.  _ Suddenly her left hand withdrew from the pink breast, trailing slowly down the younger woman. At first she tried to squirm free but was distracted when the right hand pinched her nipple, moaning when a forked tongue teased its counterpart. She arched, giving the vampire easier access to her core in the process.  _ Was that intentional Bon?  _ The thought was filled with wry amusement. Briefly, she withdrew her tongue to give the other woman a dark look, her left hand edging closer to its destination. “Let’s see what we have here, shall we?” Before she could respond the tongue returned to her nipple, her eyes smoldering when a warm mouth joined it. 

“M..Marcy…”

The half-demon liked what she found.

“Wow, Bonnie… you were that ready? And you weren’t going to let me help?” Marceline wasn’t exaggerating; the princess was almost drenched, and even at the light graze to check her Bonnibel cried out, squirming in an attempt to get closer to the teasing hand. Instead it gently stroked her outer lips. “What do you think? Do you need this, my princess?” A vigorous nod indicated how willing she was to do away with her pride, and Marceline raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Well, if you insist…” Immediately she slid a finger inside her lover, refusing to move it until she heard her girlfriend moan her name. Satisfied, she slid a second finger, pumping all-too slowly with just enough friction to build tension, but nowhere near enough to give her release. 

“Marcy!” 

“Yes, my princess?” But it wasn’t a cry for attention, it was the only thought flowing through Bubblegum’s mind, the only thing she cared about at that moment, the only way she could express it. Finding her lover’s most sensitive spot she pressed it, feather lightly. Bonnibel’s cry was of agony; Marceline was putting just enough pressure to start her climax, but not exactly enough to push her over the edge. “Maddening, isn’t it Bon? You want it to stop, but you want it to go on forever.” The princess couldn’t argue that, it was an apt description of her situation. Instead she moaned loudly, some deep, logical part of her suddenly so, so glad she had the forethought to soundproof her rooms when she built the castle.

When Marceline withdrew her hand she felt her sanity start to slip. “You know, Bonnibel… I always said that your shade of red is the most exquisite meal I could ever have.” Her hand returned to her breast, once more pinching a pink nipple. “But…,” she trailed off. “I never said  _ where  _ the best red of yours was, and you never asked. You wanna know?” She did. She really, really did. Taking her silence as affirmation the musician smirked, offering a deep kiss to her mate, lowering herself to whisper in her ear. “When I’m done, Bonnie, the only thing you’ll be able to do is cry my name.” The candy golem had no time to figure out that riddle; the vampire had left the bed. At first she didn’t know why, until she felt a presence between her legs besides the aching heat. 

Her eyes shot open. “Marcy!” Pink hands tangled in black hair as she felt a pressure against her core. When she realized that there was a forked tongue playing with her clit it made the throbbing so much worse. For a brief, shining moment her ability to reason returned before disappearing once more. “Please don’t stop, Marcy…” She was lost to a loud moan when she felt her lover taking her pearl into her mouth, sucking as her tongue stroked it. “Marcy!” When fangs, still elongated, grazed her core she only grew wetter, a fact that did not go unnoticed. But the vampire had one last trick up her sleeve and withdrew. Before her princess could complain about the lost contact she felt the mouth return, this time to her inner thigh, just outside of her core. It granted one very gentle kiss before she felt fangs plunge into her, her girlfriend draining her color greedily.

It was too much. “MARCELINE!” It was one of the most powerful orgasms she had ever experienced, the combination of teasing the older woman coupled with the euphoric feeling of her essence being drained, something she felt was perfect on her neck but held no candle to between her thighs. For a long moment she lost her vision and was dazed, briefly losing where she was. By the time she returned she found that she had been scooped into the vampire’s arms, which she readily buried into. Her girlfriend had slid her right arm under her, holding her head against her chest, her left draped around her waist. She wanted to say something, anything, but was quickly losing her fight against sleep. The last thing she registered was her other half purring happily against her.

Miles away, blissfully ignorant to the events transpiring in the tallest castle of the biggest kingdom, Finn and Jake sat in their living room. Or more accurately, Jake was occupying himself with a video game on BMO while Finn stared off in thought. Although the dog seemed ignorant to the boy, BMO was not.

“What are you thinking about, Finn?”

Finn sighed. “We just heard some heavy stuff today, BMO, and it’s kind of messing with my stomach, you know?”

“No, because I do not have a stomach.”

Finn ignored that. “I thought I knew Peebles and Marceline, but I didn’t even see that they were a thing. You know, a together thing.” 

Jake finally spoke up, but refused to turn his attention away from his game. “Man, you’re overthinking it. They’re still the same people. There was just a part of them you didn’t know about. Lots of people are like that. It’s not personal. They just have some mondo stuff going on, and I don’t think they’ve even got it figured out, and they’re so old it’s redonkulus. Getting to know people is just part of the journey of friendship. It keeps it fresh and interesting. So don’t think about it like they’re strangers, they’ve just got a layer you didn’t dig up yet.”

Finn blinked at his brother. “That was…”

“Oddly insightful?,” BMO chirped.

“Yeah. Thanks Jake. I needed that.” 

Jake nodded. “No problem, brother. You want to go make us some lunch though? I can’t leave because BMO’s cheating.” 

The robot crossed his arms. “I am not cheating, you are just losing.”

“Tell me how to beat the mutant cow, BMO!” 

“If I do that you will never learn to fish.” 

“But fishing is the worst part of this game!”

Finn smiled and stood, heading towards the kitchen. He wasn’t sure exactly what to make, but he decided definitely not sandwiches. There would be plenty of sandwiches after they were done overthrowing kingdoms and heroing up the place.

Well. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never written smut before, so that was an experience.
> 
> Please don't expect chapters to always come out this quickly, I just had a surprise day off. Though I will do my best to make it progress as quickly as possible.


	3. What's an Obelisk?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few notes moving forward:
> 
> 1.) To those unaware, all of my stories take place within the same continuity/universe. While not required, I strongly recommend reading Love Song before you continue this story; it will clarify certain plot points, as well as help establish certain past events that will be referenced.
> 
> 2.) From this point onward this story will feature graphic violence (and maybe smut?) If you don't like these things this isn't the story for you.
> 
> 3.) To those who have been bookmarking, kudos-ing, and commenting, THANK YOU. You're literally what motivates me to keep writing. I cannot emphasize enough that people who do these things are awesome.
> 
> Trigger warnings: PTSD, graphic violence.

“Bug milk?”

“Check.”

“Chalk for smiley face circle?”

“Check.”

“Reluctant sexy vampire lady?”

Jake shot Finn a skeptical look, who shrugged in response. Jake shook his head and looked around the room. “Uh… nope.” 

“No vampire?” 

“No vampire.” 

Finn frowned. “Hm.”

As promised, Finn and Jake had returned to the castle exactly at sundown, loaded with supplies to cover any eventuality the pair could think of safely tucked in Finn’s trademark green backpack: Snacks of both red and edible varieties, binoculars, flint, and a number of other goodies to solve any problem his arm couldn’t. And, of course, bug milk, chalk, and a scrap of paper to summon the portal, just in case Marceline proved uncooperative and refused to lend her assistance. With all of the supplies Finn’s pack was heavy and bloated, but the removal of the bug milk would give it just a bit of wiggle room, in case either Princess Bubblegum or Marceline herself had any supplies of their own they wished to bring. The weight was a comfort to the hero, a sign that he was going on his first real mission since-

_ Nope. Don’t go there Finn. Focus the brain. _

He snapped out of it when he realized that Jake had already dug into his bag and retrieved a sandwich. “Jake! We need those for later!” 

The dog responded with an incredulous look before defiantly elongating his mouth, shoving the whole thing in. When he finished eating he grinned. “I regret nothing.” 

Finn shook his head. “Jake, we don’t know how long we’ll need to be there. What if we get the hungries? It’s not like we can beg PB or Marce for food.” 

“Yeah, speaking of them, where are they?” Jake stretched his head, poking it into the various hallways connecting to the entrance. “Dude, no one’s here. Like, no one no one. At all.” It was true; there was absolutely no staff, no citizens, not even Peppermint Butler. Jake returned to his normal form before nervously uttering, “This is freaky, that’s what it is.” 

“Nah, I’m sure the princess just sent them off to some crazy party or something so they don’t see what we’re doing.” This made sense to the dog, but he was clearly unnerved and Finn wanted to find his friends. He wouldn’t admit it, but the castle’s silence unnerved him as well. Normally so full of life, its emptiness was striking and just a bit creepy, only made worse by the observation that nothing else had changed. The walls were still a pale yellow, the floor pink, the walkway carpet red. The candy cane poles were unblemished, the walls uncracked, the banners flying. It was just conspicuously devoid of life.

As had been requested by the princess via holo-crystal, the two had arrived in the foyer of the Candy Kingdom’s castle, only to find a folded map hastily drawn and taped to the wall, cleverly labelled, ‘Only Finn and Jake can open this. The rest of you, don’t be butts’ in Bubblegum’s neat handwriting. Inside the map was a long string of numbers, letters, and symbols, instructions which directed them to, ‘Knock a sick beat’, and a lined trail leading them deep in the castle, all in the same pink ink of the note, with the same flowing handwriting. While ominous notes addressed to the two were nothing new the pathway was, and Finn put the note in his bag for safekeeping. Over the past half-decade - or perhaps longer, Finn wasn’t sure anymore - he had raced through the castle so many times he thought he had the thing memorized. Sure, it was expected that the princess would keep a couple of secret passages; her paranoia was an open-secret, never addressed or even mentioned by her subjects, but palpable all the same. Still, this passage was especially odd in that it lead the duo deep in the castle. They were disconcerted to realize that no matter how deep they went, or how many rooms they passed there were still no candy citizens, not even a Banana Guard.

In a word, it was eerie.

Although the walk itself was mere minutes it seemed to stretch, and the heroes were relieved when they finally found their goal. They stopped in front of the large wooden door, where Jake breathed a sigh of relief. “Alright, let’s go, this place is freaky.” 

Finn reached for the nob, stopped, then frowned. “I don’t know, Jake. There’s a huge sign on the door that says ‘Do Not Enter’. I think we should call PB for help.” 

The dog blew a raspberry. “No way! Don’t you know that signs are just suggestions? It’s not like their cops or guards or teachers or whatever.” Ignoring the objection, Jake quickly opened the door, relieved to see it unlocked. “See?” With a satisfied swagger he entered the surprisingly bright room, Finn right behind him.

There they finally found Princess Bubblegum, who sat on a plush, pink stool. In preparation for their task she had donned a short pink dress and purple leggings, as well as a pink jacket lined with pinker ruffles, shouldered by an equally pink hood. While she had taken to wearing sneakers lately she had replaced them with long, pink boots. For the journey she had shortened and tied back her hair, topped by her crown. At her side was a yellow messenger bag; a quick view indicated to Finn that it was nowhere near as full as his own, and he felt accomplished by his sense of planning ahead. Not so far ahead that he changed his typical outfit of shorts and T-shirt, but ahead nonetheless. Bubblegum could take care of herself, but she just didn’t possess the same experience the young adventurers did, and he knew it.

However, the young monarch was not idly twiddling her thumbs, waiting for her champions. She was, in actuality, occupied with An Important Task. In her right hand she held a white cloth covered in grey spots, in her left an object covered by the cloth that made it impossible to see. When she registered the arrival of her friends she quickly covered the item, shoving it into her bag. Her secrecy not exactly a new development, neither of her friends thought anything of it. “Finn! Jake! My gallant heroes! I once again must thank you for volunteering for this dangerous yet glorious quest. Your assistance is most appreciated.”

Finn straightened and blushed slightly. He had not pursued the princess since his failed relationship with Phoebe, but you didn’t just brush off a compliment from a beautiful lady. While he was distracted Jake had taken a hard look around the room, stopping his gaze beyond the woman. “Uh… what’s that?” 

“Hm?” The princess turned to look behind her. “Oh! That’s my super secret spy system,” she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. It certainly looked like a super secret spy system, what with the dozens of screens and confusing and large control panel. “I used to spy on everyone of importance in Ooo. I broke it some time ago though, after Phoebe called me out for using it. Now I just use this room for super secret meetings.”  _ And when Marcy and I need a bit more privacy.  _

Finn looked torn between being horrified and bashful. “Everyone important, huh? Did you, uh…” He didn’t know how to ask the question, but thankfully Jake jumped in. 

“Did you watch us do stuff?!” 

She blinked and tilted her head. “Of course! You’re very important to the kingdom. I had to make sure you-”  _ weren’t going to turn on me  _ “-were safe and secure. I don’t do it anymore though. Thing’s busted.” It was true. Wires had been ripped out, wall several monitors smashed beyond repair. In one area it looked like it met the wrong end of a sledgehammer. It was very busted.

“That’s… a thing. But there’s another thing. We can’t find Marceline. She was supposed to meet us in the foyer, but never showed.” 

“Probably flew the coop.” 

The princess shook her head. “No, Jake, she’s perfectly fine. She’s in my room, cleaning and restringing her bass in preparation for our journey.  _ Our room, Bonnibel. Not ‘my’,  _ she mentally scolded herself. Sharing was not an innate trait, and she had been slowly working on it. Although she had done so reluctantly Marceline had nevertheless agreed to try the amulet, which would make her eligible for officially sharing her throne and title. The princess was trying to get used to that. 

Jake looked almost annoyed. “Does she really need to bring her guitar? What is she going to do, serenade the bloodthirsty, homicidal demons that we’re foolishly invading?” 

“It’s just a comfort behavior, Jake. If it makes her more cooperative I don’t mind delaying our departure. Still though…” Her hand reached into the bag, pulling out her cellphone. With a single button Marceline had been reached.

“What?”

“Marcy, don’t be rude. where are you?”   
  
“Bed.”

“Marceline, we have to go.”

“Having to do things is a relative concept, Bonnie.”

For a brief period the woman stared at the phone, then glanced at the champions. “Boys, cover your ears.” When they did so she took a deep breath, “MARCELINE ABADEER! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR YOU WILL BE SLEEPING ON THE BALCONY FOR A YEAR!”

Silence, then, “You miss my butt, Bonnie?” It was a teasing voice, but Bonnibel deciphered the nervousness. 

She took another deep breath, “NOW, MARCELINE!” 

The vampire’s response was a timid, “Yes ma’am”, before the line went silent. When she dropped her phone back in her bag she signalled for the two the all clear. Both were staring at her in sheer shock, and she was visibly confused. “What?” 

“Uh… nothing. Right Jake?” Jake nodded furiously. The three were quiet then, anxiety beginning to build in anticipation for the adventure. Until that moment it had seemed so abstract, something that would happen Later, but now, with Marceline arriving, it was very real. Speaking of the vampire, she had finally made her appearance, shutting the door behind her. 

Unlike the rest of the group she carried no bag or supplies, only her now immaculate axe bass. She had also shaved off one side of her head and wore an outfit that, to her surprise, Bubblegum realized she had never seen before. Whereas she typically wore sneakers, t-shirts, jeans, and other such street clothes befitting her relaxed and playful demeanor she was dressed more befitting someone of the role she was about to play,  _ For the rest of my Globin’ unlife,  _ she thought bitterly. 

Instead of her normal attire she wore a dark maroon jacket. A material Bonnibel didn’t recognize, it seemed to absorb the room’s light. It was tied by one black strap in the front, over her breasts, a soft material akin to leather that the princess didn’t recognize either, covered in an intricate design that she suspected must have some purpose, but for some odd reason she just didn’t want to stare at it too closely. The same material, with the same intricate design, lined the sleeves, as well as her chest up to her shoulders. Above the strap featured no buttons or clasps, allowing it to stay open, exposing a black blouse underneath. Below the strap were three sets of buttons, open, allowing a full view of pants made of the same dark material as the strap and covered with an unidentified metal. The sides extended to her knees and were slitted, allowing easier movement. Two pockets that appeared rather deep were sewn into the coat inconspicuously and, unbeknownst to the group, contained a very important object.

Both Finn and Jake were staring in obvious shock at their friend. ‘Intimidating’ did not begin to describe her. Jake, curious as always, wanted to touch the coat, see what its material must be, but a deeper part of him, the part of a mind that Bonnibel always called the ‘lizard brain’, told him loudly that that was a bad idea. To their relief the vampire gave the duo her typical mischievous smirk, and they both exhaled, unaware they had even been holding their breath. When she noticed the princess, however, her face hardened. The two stared at one another, Bonnibel trying to make sense of how her irreverent girlfriend had become positively presentable, the half-demon’s look indecipherable. When they broke the silence the older woman spoke first.

“What the stuff are you wearing?!” Bubblegum wasn’t given a chance to respond. “Are you trying to get yourself killed?!” The admonishment was loud and unashamed of that fact, and the princess flushed in embarrassment at being berated in front of their friends. 

“I’m-” 

“Sticking out like a sore pink thumb! Have you forgotten that there are a number of demons that hate you? How many have tried to kill you?!” None of the group had ever seen Marceline raise her voice to Bonnibel, not like this, and stood paralyzed. If the vampire noticed she gave no indication that she cared. “Are you trying to make my job harder?” That time Bubblegum registered the strain in her voice, her antagonism subtly giving way to an emotion she couldn’t immediately place, a strange mixture of worry, love, and exasperation. 

“And what would  _ you  _ suggest?” She meant for it to be biting, but it was too quiet. 

Finally, Marceline seemed to regain composure, her voice dropping to a normal volume. “You want me to take over my station, Bonnibel.” The princess mentally winced at being called her full name, something she could count the number of times her vampire had done so in over five hundred years on two hands. “You want me to look the part. You need to do the same. If you’re this obvious about who you are you risk more demons trying to kill you-” Finn opened his mouth, ready to take up the burden of defending the monarch, but Jake’s hand on his shoulder and shake of his head stopped him. “-and I can’t…”. She paused, trying to think of a way to tactfully word her concern. “This isn’t the kind of thing where I have the energy and focus to worry about you.”  _ Don’t do this to me, Bonnie. Don’t get yourself killed. I need you.  _

Bubblegum merely stared, exhaling, “What would you suggest, Marcy?” 

This time the question sounded genuine, and the vampire visibly relaxed. She crossed the room to cup her cheek. When her princess smiled at the contact her own face softened. “Remember when we used to sneak out to go visit the ice mountains before Simon decided you’d be an awesome wife?”  _ He’s not wrong.  _ She shoved that thought away, hard. “Go get something like that, okay? Please.”  _ Can’t tell her what to do, she’s too stubborn, this is a minefield.  _

To her relief the princess nodded. “Alright. That sounds reasonable.” When she left to return to her rooms she took her bag with her.

The journey to her rooms was a short one, a path she could navigate in her sleep.  _ And if Marcy is to be believed, I have.  _ That thought made her smile, but that dropped as soon as she arrived in her bedroom, quickly closing the door. Depositing the bag on her bed, she quickly stripped to her red bra and panties - just in case -, eager to begin the adventure proper. Throwing open her wardrobe, she instead replaced her original outfit with a light pink t-shirt, dark pink hoodie, and light blue jeans. She kept the boots. After closing the wardrobe she sighed in relief, made for her door, then stopped. Then she remembered the bag. Or, more accurately, she remembered what was in the bag, its one passenger. After a brief hesitation she made her way back to the bed, sitting down, hands in her lap. She stared at the bag, holding her breath, counting to ten in German before making a decision. Her hand reached in, pulling out the cloth.

Inside the cloth was a beautiful knife, made of pure silver. It had been forged hundreds of years ago, when she first met the vampire who would become her lover, before she properly assessed her as not only threat-free, but her greatest weapon against any danger that may threaten her or her home. The hilt had been carved into an inscription, at its base an ocean blue royal gem. The blade was sharp enough to cut nearly anything its owner wished, and sturdy enough to hold its own even against a large bladed weapon, such as an axe. Its blade was straight and as long as the princess’s hand, the hilt about two-thirds of its size. Despite Marceline’s chaotic nature she had proven harmless, but the candy monarch had never been able to bring herself to destroy it.  _ She’s harmless to me at least, but…  _ She didn’t finish that thought, the ghost of a comment long-since spoken by her mate overruling her hesitation. 

_ No, he’s right. I could’ve snapped and done you all in at any time. _

She took the cloth and resumed her focus on the knife; before Finn and Jake had arrived she had been dutifully cleansing it of its tarnish, and now would perhaps be her only remaining chance to do so. For a moment she felt guilty about making the party wait, but that moment was fleeting.  _ They’ll wait for me. No problemo.  _ The cleaning was completed with love and care. Now staring at her shining weapon her emotions became turbulent and mixed; relief that she could defend herself against one of the potentially greatest horrors Ooo would ever know, satisfaction that she had successfully restored the artifact, but the most weighty of all was anguish, knowing that the potential horror was her best friend, lover, and, if they succeeded in putting her on the throne, her-  _ No, stop that. You’re getting ahead of yourself. For all you know she could still chicken out and turn tail. _ Pushing that part of her that dealt with such pesky emotions as “empathy” out of her consciousness she once again wrapped the blade, securely bagged it, and hurried back to the surveillance room.

But Princess Bubblegum wasn’t the only one with contingency plans. No sooner had she left Marceline turned to Jake, who had begun to look as uncomfortable in her presence as he had when he first met her. This made things easier. “Hey Jake? Can you go check on Bonnie and make sure she’s not changing into something even more risky?” Jake was immediately relieved and hurried out of the room fast enough for the floor to squeak. Finn began to suspect that something was up, yet no part of him registered alarm that he was alone with an angry vampire, and that could be dangerous.  _ Nah, she’s still Marce.  _ He wanted to say something to relieve the tension, but she was staring out the door thoughtfully, waiting for Jake’s footsteps to fade. 

“Finn, I have… a request.” 

He blinked. “Sure Marce. What’s up?” Once again she fell silent, and he sensed a silent, internal war. When she finally met his eyes he felt his heart drop. When they first met he perhaps would never have registered such a subtle change in his friend, but by now she was one of his best friends, a person consistent in her impudence. He didn’t like the demeanor he was seeing.  _ She looks… sad?  _ “What’s wrong?”

“I need you to do something for me.” Her voice fell flat, and he didn’t like where this was going. Still, she looked serious enough to warrant all of his focus and consideration. She watched him mentally debate this, as if peering into her soul to check for sincerity. Or was it loyalty? “You’re not going to like it, but it’s important. Probably the most important thing I’ll ever ask.” Without delay she reached into her pocket, removed its sole inhabitant, and stretched out her arm to hand it to him.

He paled. It was a stake.

His voice dropped in a whisper so desperate he squeaked. “Where did you get that?! Why do you have that?!” 

Her smile was sad. “I swiped it from Pep-But when Bonnie de-vamped me. I meant to turn it over to her when she collected the rest of ‘em, but…” Her voice trailed off, but Finn wasn’t listening. The request, the plea to gank one of his best friends, had taken him away from the room, away from the castle, back to a brown field, a sunny day-

_ Fern, if things are going down the way I think they’re going down, please, tell Jake I love him… We can stop this, and just go home together. All this lying and fighting… it doesn’t have to end like this. Today doesn’t have to have this kind of finality- _

“Finn!” He looked up to the worried face of Marceline. He hadn’t realized that he had collapsed, that he was in the fetal position, that he was sweating, that he couldn’t breathe. He was in the field, he was watching his arm slice through his friend, his body twist, contort, tear apart. How it had exploded, shedding pieces of what was his friend, the person he had eaten meals with and played with-

“FINN!”

Once again he returned to the waking world, and this time he stayed there. He had never seen Marceline look so concerned for someone who wasn’t the princess. He hadn’t realized that she had removed his backpack and was holding him, hadn’t realized he had been crying or that Marceline had calmed him by singing softly a song he didn’t recognize. When his breathing normalized she stopped and gave him a worried look, helping him to stand only when his heartbeat had slowed and returned to normal. He was shaking, not knowing how long he had been like that and not caring. Jake and Bubblegum still weren’t back so he figured it couldn’t have been too long, but the fact it had happened at all caused him to flush in embarrassment. The half-human put her hand on his shoulder as he struggled to stop his shaking.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Finn. But that’s why I’m asking you. If I go nuts I could hurt you. I could kill you all. I would love it. You saw me when I first put on the amulet, and it wasn’t even on long enough to do any real damage to my brain. What Bonnie wants…” Her eyes closed as she took a deep breath, her voice becoming uncharacteristically serious and soft. “I understand why Bonnibel wants this so much. She’s been waiting for me for a really long time. I’m not ready, but as much as I don’t want to try I want her to be happy. I make her happy, and that makes me happy. But I don’t think this is going to end well. I don’t even have great control over my temper as is, and that’s without all the power in the Nightosphere at my command.  _ Not that I have great control over any other emotions.  _ I could hurt you all. I could kill you.”  _ I could kill Bonnie. “ _ This is just… insurance. If I lose it and become a for realzorz danger to my friends… I can’t deal with that, Finn. It’d break me. I’d rather-” Once again she stopped, her voice breaking at the end. “If I go nuts, and you guys can’t get me under control, if you can’t stop me…” Her eyes became almost unfocused. “Finn, I trust you. To make the judgment call. Jake’s trigger happy as is, and Bonnie would never have the stomach-”  _ to kill me “- _ to take me down.” She took a breath and steeled her voice. “If it comes to it, I want you to stake me. Right here.” Her hand rested over her dead heart.

Once again she held out the stake, a piece of wood that looked so innocent yet possessed all of the power it needed to end his friend. He stared at it, long and hard, boring into it accusingly. With a resigned sigh he reached out, taking it. He quickly shoved it deep in his backpack before he could change his mind. She smiled at him softly, surprising him by giving him a strong hug. He returned it readily. “Thanks, Finn. Really.” He nodded, not trusting himself to speak. When they separated she started for the hallway, her sensitive ears having picked up two pairs of feet. Before the adventure could begin, however, Finn had to know.

“Hey Marce?”

“Yeah?”

“You and Peebles…”

She looked at him, curious. “Yeah?,” she repeated.

“Why? I mean, how? You’re just so different.” He flushed once again. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy for my ladybros! It’s just-” To his surprise she just smiled, as if she had been waiting for that question.

“The best way to think about it… her tempo and my beat make for a pretty sick rhythm.”

He was still pondering that response when the princess and his brother finally made it. “Sorry guys! Jake got lost and I had to go find him. Now!,” she clapped her hands loudly, “Who’s ready to do this thing?!”

Both of the brothers cheered, Jake because he was bored and Finn to disguise the fact that he had just experienced a mental breakdown, knowing in his heart that Marceline would never mention it to anyone. If either Jake or Bubblegum noticed they didn’t say anything. After they tired of yelling Jake began to reach into Finn’s backpack for the bug milk and chalk, only to have it slowly taken from him by the boy, who refused to betray Marceline’s secret. “I got it, buddy!” Before Jake could say anything he was already drawing the face, the dog preparing the bug milk. Marceline had fallen silent, staring at the spot on the wall blankly.

Even amidst her hyper-focused mind Bubblegum registered her lover’s expression and body language. It hurt to see her like this, and she pulled her into an embrace. Marceline was surprised by the affection but, unlike the night before, she made no move to return it. At first Bonnibel took it for anger, but the detached, glassy look in the vampire’s eyes thankfully corrected that reasoning before she voiced it. She took her cold hands and squeezed them smiling when she felt them squeeze back, even though it was done weakly.  _ You have to trust me, Marceline. I know you’re scared, but I have a perfect track record. _ “It’ll be okay, Marcy. You’ll see. You’ll get the amulet, take your birthright and then…” She blushed, looking at the floor. “If we want to, we could even-”

“Maloso vobiscum et cum spiritum!”

_ Thanks a lot, Finn.  _ The portal opened and Bubblegum went to step forward, only to be stopped by her lover. “Bonnie, this is very important. This place doesn’t like you. Stay close to me, okay? And if someone tries to mess with you show them that bite mark. It’s like a fingerprint. Shows you have a mate. In this case the alpha demon. I’m going before you, just in case.” The princess considered this but soon relented, knowing logically that her vampire had infinitely more experience in this area than she did. If Marceline said it was dangerous she trusted her.  _ Good girl, Marcy. You said ‘alpha demon’. You’re learning to accept this. _ Surprising everyone, however, Jake was the first to dive through the portal. Finn and Marceline shared a look and both shrugged. 

Before Marceline reached the portal Finn suddenly had a thought and put his hand on her arm, stopping her. “Wait a wait, Marce. I have a question.” Without looking he indicated the wall of monitors. “Did you know PB was doing this?” 

She gave him a look, as if this were the most obvious question in the world. “Well, yeah. Who do you think set up the cameras?” Before he could respond she grabbed her axe and dove in, Bonnibel behind her, Finn following.

To Finn and Jake the Nightosphere hadn’t changed much in their absence. It never would really; the chaotic order of the land was Hunson Abadeer’s pride, emphasized by his overall neutral attitude towards his kingdom. It had been some time since the duo was there, and though the place was frightening in its own right they had a vague understanding of its nuances. There were still towers of fire threatening to engulf any demon stupid enough to wander too close. The sky was still a stark red, solid and without blemishes such as clouds, stars, or suns. The ground was a bit blacker than normal Jake supposed, but still hard as stone despite Hunson’s assurance that it certainly was not. He had made the mistake once of asking Marceline about the red-tint in the ground, joking that it reminded him of dried blood. She had only stared at him, replied, “Don’t worry about it”, and shut down the conversation before he could ask for reassurance that it wasn’t  _ really  _ dried blood. Yet still, dark towers shaped like pyramids still stood, mounds of ground and stone still housed cowering demons, large, long-legged demons still acted as glorified buses. To them, nothing had changed.

Marceline saw a different picture, because while the two heroes were taking in the sights as if they were tourists she knew better. Every part of the Nightosphere, without exaggeration, could potentially maim or kill anyone stupid enough to underestimate it. While she had not been born or raised there Marceline understood it intuitively, almost instinctively, and she had spent more time than she’d ever like there over the past two centuries. It was a dangerous world where assassins were created, demons born through the death of other demons. It was a place where fire was not stationary; it would chase you, it would consume you, and no one would lift a claw to save you.  _ The fire looks angry today, someone should feed it.  _ Marceline winced at that thought, to sacrifice a demon to keep the fires satiated. Her birthright land brought out the worst in her by default. The unfortunate truth of this situation, one only she would appreciate, was that a lifetime of Bonnibel’s neutral  - and, at times, positive - reception towards her demonic tendencies only exasperated her internal struggle, and it was already a burden to hide it from the duo. Bonnibel knew the worst of her, but they did not.

Yet the princess could not understand everything that this struggle represented. While she couldn’t speak for the lesser demons of the land it made even her normal, non-demonic emotions more real, harder to ignore. If she let it they would cloud her thoughts and eat at her until she broke, and there was no way to know what would happen then. A glance of her friends showed that if they were experiencing the same dilemma they weren’t expressing it. She thought of Finn’s panic attack and grimaced. Still, not everything in the area warped minds, mortal or otherwise. With wry amusement she observed that the number of pyramid towers had increased. As they primarily housed the cowards an increase in their number suggested that there were many too craven to do something stupid, such as attack a certain pink princess in her presence. Time would tell quickly; once one demon saw her word would spread rapidly. Demons were terrible gossips.

Bubblegum was in a state of fascination. The land was so bizarre to the candy monarch, and her rational brain was having trouble making sense of it. Throughout their lives Marceline had tried to patiently explain that there is no logic in the Nightosphere, but the princess had stubbornly refused to accept such a claim. Even now she was trying to think of an explanation for everything she was seeing and possessed the almost overwhelming urge to bring back all that she could when their journey was over. There was science to do, so much to learn. She wanted to run to every rock, every fire river, every vandalized wall, just to learn and explore. But she was smarter than that. Her lover had warned her of the danger inherent to the Nightosphere, and who was she to argue with an actual demon? She knew, logically, that she was perhaps the smartest person in Ooo - a brainlord, as Marceline was fond of calling her - but that was all the more reason to listen to her vampire. She recognized that she was not an expert of this bizarre land, and, honestly, she knew her lover had enough to worry about without her gallivanting into a pit of spikes. Or tempting all of those demons that had been trying for years to take her head.

Marceline’s jaw tensed, her eyes pinning. She took the princess’s hand firmly, a silent command to not let go. “Let’s get this over with.” They made for the Citadel, the vampire actually walking in unity with her friends, Bonnibel slowing them down considerably with constant questions. How was that giant demon alive when it was in half. How was it carrying all of those smaller demons? What could they possibly be eating down here? Abruptly, Marceline stopped, lifting her free hand. “Wait.” 

Bubblegum’s questions continued. “Why are we-” The answer came in the form of a pillar of fire, which erupted from the ground no more than ten paces from the group. When it finally dissipated Bonnibel rushed to its position, touching the ground and marveling at what she found. “It’s not hot! That’s j-” Just as Marceline had predicted, the moment she removed herself from the vampire’s side a demon launched its attack. Fortunately for the princess, it was tackled by her lover before it ever reached her and was pinned beneath a powerful, clawed talon.

The demon itself didn’t seem like much, even to Jake. It was bipedal, possessing humanoid arms with six fingers and legs with no toes nor torso. Most of its head was taken up by a large, circular mouth filled with large, yellow teeth. The rest of its head featured large yellow eyes; if it weren’t for the black pupils they would have blended into its body perfectly. It thrashed under the vampire, who remained impassive, its eyes closed. “Let me go or suffer my wrath! I am strong! I am powerful! I am the smartest and most handsome of all! I am-” 

“Jan,” Marceline said, visibly irritated. 

“Yes! You have heard of-” It opened its eyes and seemed to shrink into the dirt. “Marceline!” It stopped thrashing and cleared its throat. “Hey! So long time no see! How have you been?” 

“...” 

“How’s the family?” 

She grinned without humor. “You know, now that you mention it…” Her grip shifted, lifting him by the head until he faced the princess. “...You just tried to kill my mate.” 

For a moment he stared at the pink woman before his face contorted into understanding, then terror. “Oh. OH! Is this  _ your  _ mate? I had no idea or I certainly would have reconsidered my actions! ...Can I go now?” 

“No.” 

“Well, can’t blame me for trying.” 

“Yes, I can.” 

“Well, yeah, if you wanna be a jerk about it.” 

“I really do.” To the surprise of the group she sighed, dropping him. “You know I regularly kill demons who attack the princess, right?” 

At first he nodded in understanding, then stopped when he registered her words. “Wait. Wait wait wait.  _ She’s  _ the princess?!” 

“Yeah, so you understand my predicament.” He gulped, staring at her with wide eyes. “Now Jan, you were always one of the few demons who had no interest in being an assassin or going to the surface, so I’m going to assume that this was a rare lapse of judgment on your part, and that you’re an idiot.” 

He nodded quickly. “Exactly! I’m just a lowly moron!” 

“...But I still can’t let you go. You haven’t tried to be a hero before. Why did you attack her?” 

“...” 

“Answer.” 

“...She’s made of candy?” 

Her expression was unreadable, but eventually it broke so she could sigh dramatically. “Would you prefer to lose your arm, leg, or eye?” 

He opened his mouth as if to argue, then closed it and hung his head in defeat. “...Arm.” 

Marceline nodded in understanding before reaching out with the taloned claw and grabbing his leg. “You know what the best part of this is?” He didn’t have a chance to respond, the question entirely rhetorical. “You’re going to remember this lesson for the rest of your life.” 

Very slowly she pulled his lower left leg forward. At first Finn was convinced she was going to rip it off, but could only look on as she instead pushed it up at the knee. With a sickening crack the leg ripped free from the knee, the detached bone turning downward to puncture through the joint. It fractured, the green bone underneath erupting from the flesh. She continued to bend it up until it faced in the opposite direction that a lower leg should. Jake’s sensitive ears could hear the tendons snap, and smell the blood pooling. Jan screamed and dropped, at first moving to grip his knee out of instinct, recoiling in obvious pain. Through teared eyes he whipped his head towards Marceline, almost screaming in pain in the process; the problem with having no torso being that when you turn your head you turn every part of your body with it. 

“I said I wanted to lose my arm!” 

The vampire nodded, expression emotionless. “I know.”

Satisfied with her work she returned to her friends, pulling her princess with her. Immediately her demeanor changed, once again become the same Marceline Finn and Jake had known for years; same grin, same stride, same stance. The two weren’t sure how to handle what they had just seen. They looked to the candy monarch for guidance, only to have their bewilderment grow when she just crossed her arms, giving her lover a pointed look. Marceline shrugged, “What?” It was at that moment that the heroes realized that the only explanation for Bubblegum not reacting as they did was that she had experience with her girlfriend doing exactly this. Almost like it was normal. 

“Was that necessary?” 

“It wouldn’t have been if you had just stayed with me like I said.”  _ Fair enough.  _ “In any event, I can see the Citadel from here. Let’s go boys.”

Finn recovered from his shock faster than Jake. Both had experience with jacked up stuff, but to see their friend engage in it, then act as if nothing happened, was disquieting. Still, they had a job to do, and they were almost there. When they started off Bonnibel stayed next to her lover. She gave her cheek a kiss, and took her hand. “I think this is a good sign that you’re going to make an excellent Lady Evil, Marcy.” When she went to join their friends she pulled the vampire with her. It had been an attempt at encouragement, but merely chilled the half-demon, who felt some deep part of her psyche shut down.

As they entered the Citadel Bubblegum was treated to a new curious sight: An endless line of demons. Demons of all shapes and sizes, crowded in what looked like a glorified pit. Another demon in a boat rode on top of their heads, occasionally poking them with a long pole. She stopped, giving a grey hand a gentle tug to indicate her intention. When Marceline stopped Finn and Jake did as well, watching the candy woman examine the spectacle. But not up close. “What’s this?” 

Finn and Jake shared an amused smile, recalling their first journey into the Nightosphere. “That’s the line to get in to see Hunson.” 

“How long will they be here?” 

“Dunno. Jake and I were in that line for over a month.” 

Green eyes blinked, almost impressed by the level of sheer pointless bureaucracy. “And… what’s the demon in the boat doing? Keeping them organized?” 

Jake snorted. “Nah, he’s just a jerk.” 

Marceline rolled her eyes. “Come on.”

At first there was a roar of outrage from the crowd that these foreigners had dared to skip the line, but were quickly silenced at the vampire’s glare. Most recognized her immediately then, the rest went along with the crowd in quieting down. Jake gave her two thumbs up. “Nice crowd control.” 

She snorted in laughter. “Yeah, okay.” Once again Marceline felt her hand tugged, Bonnibel once again taking the lead in a land she had never been to before, heading for the Citadel. 

Finn hesitated. “Isn’t your dad at the end of the line? You know, back there?"

“Nope.” There was no further explanation. 

“I mean… he was last time.”

Marceline’s voice darkened. “No. He wasn’t. I was.” Finn immediately recognized his mistake. 

“Oh yeah… sorry, Marce.”

Although Finn and Jake had a vague memory of the Citadel’s layout only Marceline knew it completely. Bonnibel’s smile was amused,  _ I wonder if she knows this place better than my castle.  _ She had the good grace not to ask. Her vampire was visibly tense, all trace of humor and irreverence having drained from her. It made the atmosphere strained and awkward, but no one dared break it. They were about to deal with a heavy issue, and their urges varied between wanting to comfort her, cheer her on, and offer the deepest of sympathies. As they maneuvered through the winding hallway Bubblegum had to admit that she was impressed. The walls were dark, smooth, and hard as stone; when the princess gingerly touched it she was surprised to feel that it was warm. The carpet a dark red, in no way torn or faded and lined with gold cloth. All manner of weaponry hung on the walls, as did statues of grotesque statues Marceline had once taught her were called ‘gargoyles’ before the Mushroom War.

While the princess kept her castle’s rooms largely open each of the Citadel’s was closed and, she suspected, locked. The doors appeared to be solid wood of brown or black, but she wasn’t sure how that was possible as there were no trees in the Nightosphere. Always curious, she wanted to explore the Citadel proper, learn its secrets.  _ I’m sure Marcy will show me and tell me all about it later.  _ The thought made her smile for more than one reason. She clenched her girlfriend’s hand and was pleased when the half-demon immediately responded in kind. Just as Bonnibel was about to ask which door was her father’s her lover stopped, Finn and Jake following suit. This time the younger monarch had no time to admire the door; the queen had taken a deep breath and pushed it open without ceremony. Inside the group found Hunson Abadeer, Lord of Evil, behind his desk. Next to him sat a giant pile of papers, not unlike Bonnibel’s when she performed her own royal duties, though his pile was much larger.  _ Oh, she was being literal about doing endless paperwork.  _ To her left was a large painting of him playing golf.  _ Oh, she was being literal about playing golf with Death.  _ To her mild surprise she recognized Peppermint Butler next to Hunson.

She then recognized Peppermint Butler in the chair directly across from the Lord of Evil’s desk. Drinking tea.

When the door closed Hunson raised his head, his eyes figuratively lighting up. “Marceline! And Finn and Jake! Well this is a surprise!” He rose, leaving his desk to meet the group. Peppermint Butler turned to see what had wandered through the office doors, freezing when he saw his monarch in the same room, giving him a disbelieving look. As Hunson shared a high five with the boys and a hug with Marceline - who, admittedly, looked grumpy about it - both Candy Kingdom residents stared at one another. It was the butler who broke the silence, quickly standing, spilling his tea in the process. 

“Your highness! This is a surprise! A pleasant one!” 

“Highness?” Hunson released Marceline at that, turning to finally register the princess. “Oh, you’re a new one! Marceline doesn’t normally bring guests to visit me. I’m not sure why!” He laughed at a joke only he understood. “Now, what’s your name?” 

Peppermint Butler answered for her. “Hunson Abadeer, may I present her grace and majesty, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum of the Candy Kingdom!” Marceline shot him a look.  _ Suck up. You know you’re in trouble. _

Bonnibel cleared her throat, ignoring her butler. “Mr. Abadeer, it is a pleasure to meet-” 

“Oh! So  _ you’re  _ Princess Bubblegum! I’ve heard all about you from Peppermint! And here with my daughter?” He raised an eyebrow, smirking in a way that she recognized was probably a family trait. She didn’t hesitate in her response. There was no sense lying or hiding from the truth, given that her vampire was about to take over his throne. Or office. However the Nightosphere worked, she wasn’t clear on that. 

“Yes Mr. Abadeer. Your daughter and I are in a relationship.”  _ And have been for hundreds of years.  _

His eyebrows shot up. “Have you!” He grinned at his daughter. “So you have a courtier?” The vampire buried her face in her hands and he laughed, clapping her on the back. “Daddy’s little monster, finding herself a princess to settle down with!” Marceline looked up, eyes widening. Hunson didn’t notice, he had turned to Peppermint Butler. “Did you know about this?” His response was a mumbled, “Unfortunately.” Bubblegum decided to ignore that, infinitely pleased that her mate’s father had taken the news of their relationship so well. 

“Mr. Abadeer-”

“Hunson, please! Finn and Jake can tell you, that’s what friends of my daughter call me!” Her smile was genuine, the detached part of her that registered empathy relieved. Before she could continue her practiced speech he continued for her. “Now, how can I help you? Will you be visiting long? Should I have Jan prepare your room? What about your friends?” 

Marceline spoke up, “Dad, this isn’t a social call. And I wouldn’t give Jan any work for awhile, I sort of broke his leg almost off.” 

He raised an eyebrow in wry amusement. “For fun or profit?”

“He tried to kill Bonnie.” 

At first he stared blankly, then laughed. “That’s my girl! Protecting your courtier like a true demon!” 

She buried her face again. “Please stop calling her that.” He only chuckled at that. Visibly uncomfortable, Marceline lifted her head once again, locking eyes with Bonnibel in a silent plea.  _ Last chance, Bonnie.  _ When she received a gentle smile in return Marceline directed her gaze to her father. “Dad… we’re here because-”  _ Bonnibel is making me  _ “-I’m here for the amulet. As a trial run only. That’s it.”

At first Hunson wasn’t sure he had heard his daughter correctly, but decided to act on it anyway. “Marceline! That’s wonderful! Following in your dad’s footsteps and taking over the family business!” He grabbed her in a tight hug, which resulted in her frowning. 

“No, dad, I didn’t say that. I’m just going to try to control the amulet. That’s all.” 

He didn’t seem phased. “That’s exactly how it begins! Oh Marceline, I’m so proud of you!” He tightened the hug until his daughter looked uncomfortable, then released her. “See? Last time wasn’t so bad, now was it?” 

She scowled, “Last time was the worst experience of my life.” 

He pretended he didn’t hear that. “But now you’re ready to try again!” If the vampire’s heart worked, it would have stopped at that sentence. Hunson didn’t notice, but Bubblegum, Finn, and Jake all held their breaths.

“...Yeah dad.”

He clapped loudly in elation. “Let’s do it right now!” 

Marceline paled, an impressive feat for a vampire. “Please tell me you’re wearing real clothes under that suit this time.” 

He reached for the amulet, but paused briefly, as if considering this question. Sadly, it was Peppermint Butler to bring her doom. “You are, sir. Remember the incident with the tie this morning?” Bubblegum eyed him.  _ How long have you been here, Pep-But?  _

Her question would go unasked, as Hunson nodded in remembrance. “Oh yes, I forgot about that snake! Well, no time like the present!” With a flourish he removed his amulet, his suit seeming to retract into himself. 

Marceline looked at her father in disgust. “Daddy… are you wearing cargo shorts?” He was. Brown ones. And a stained t-shirt. 

“You don’t like my pants?” He sounded hurt. 

“Are you wearing white sneakers?,” Marceline pressed. She shook her head. “I’m not related to you.” 

He pretended to look hurt. “But the family resemblance is so uncanny! Though I must admit, you do look a lot like your mother-”

If there was one thing, and only one thing, that Marceline wanted to do less than put on that amulet it was talk about her mother. Even her father seemed to notice her wince and the pained look in her eyes. Her memory played itself, and she found herself unable to stop it.

_ Mom, please wake up! _

“...Just give me the stupid amulet,” she said through gritted teeth, handing her axe to Finn while slipping off her coat. Bonnibel’s instinct was to go over and comfort her lover, who was in obvious pain from her father’s insensitive comment. But what happened next happened too quickly to stop.

With no hesitation Marceline slipped on the amulet, her final thought before its influence being,  _ I hate this thing.  _ As when Finn and Jake had first accompanied their undead friend to the Nightosphere, as when she first put on the amulet, her own suit snapped forward. It was an outfit Bubblegum had never seen before, and in the first few moments she was not ashamed to admit that her girlfriend looked really,  _ really  _ good in a suit. Although her footwear remained the same her clothing was completely absorbed; instead she now wore a sheer black blazer and pant combination and a lavender undershirt. Her tie, a dark red, fit the outfit strangely well. It was topped by the amulet. Its chain had disappeared; instead it sat atop the tie, pressed against the vampire’s throat.

Everything went wrong immediately.

Peppermint Butler was the first to notice that something was wrong but was frozen in shock. Bonnibel was second, but could not wrap her mind around what she was seeing fast enough to deduce a way to stop it. Hunson was third, and that was the only reason Marceline lived, because the moment the amulet attached herself she stumbled, her eyes unfocusing. She dropped to one knee, her hands coming to the amulet. Immediately they became talons, and she attempted to rip it off of her. The inability to do so didn’t stop her from trying; her claws dragged across her throat deeply. Veins severed, and when her flesh tore the grey muscle, moving rapidly in her desperation to remove the amulet, became apparent. As she continued she effortlessly clawed clear through her throat. Dark, dead blood flowed out steadily, and in response the clawing got more desperate, the damage too difficult to see under the flow of blood.

“MARCELINE!”

Finn was the first to act, running to his friend’s side in an attempt to stop her, but the vampire was far stronger than the human. Her eyes were dilated and glassy, her claws trembling when Finn tried to pull them away. In animalistic frustration she instead tore her right arm downward, over her chest. She went through her left breast, over her stomach. The bone above her dead heart cracked loudly, ribs no match for the force being exerted. By the time she tore through her stomach and down her intestine her father had made it to her, panicked at the site of his only child self-destructing. He tried to reach the amulet, but her remaining claw was clenched around the area, as if not understanding where it actually was. The blood blocked the demon’s view, making the extraction in combination with the thrashing challenging. Somewhere in the back of Bonnibel’s mind an ancient conversation emerged; she would later realize it was her subconscious warning her about the real danger in her vampire clawing her neck.

_ Marceline, how do you kill a vampire? _

_ Why? Getting ideas about me? _

_ No, you butt. I want to make sure they don’t happen to you. _

_ Well, there’s four ways. Lots of sun, well-placed silver, stake through the heart, and- _

Her blood ran cold, the realization coming as a whisper. “She’s going to tear her head off.” She turned to Jake, who had begun attempting to remove the amulet. “JAKE! Hold her down!” Understanding immediately, he wrapped around her as tightly as he could, whimpering from the feel of the dark blood sliding down his fur. Finally restrained, Hunson managed to rip off the amulet, clutching it tightly in his right hand. Once the amulet was off her normal clothing returned and she fell limp in the dog’s arms, eyes open but unseeing. 

Hunson’s left hand held her head towards her body in the hope she would manage to heal through the near-fatal damage. “Come on, little monster…”

At some point, and she wasn’t sure when, Bonnibel had dropped to her knees, unable to look away from the sight of her lover’s mutilated body. The one reassurance she had was that she had to be alive, or she would be ash. It was hard to tell if she was healing through the damage under all the blood, and for the first time in her life the princess was at a loss of what to do. Finn helped Jake gently lower her to the soft carpet, then hugged his brother fiercely. “You did it, bro. It’s okay.” As Jake shook, clearly in shock and unable to speak, Finn looked to Hunson. “What happened?!”

It was Peppermint Butler who answered.

“She wasn’t ready.”

Three pairs of eyes turned to the candy man, Hunson’s remaining on Marceline. Guilt began to pierce through Bonnibel, and she was unable to ask the obvious question. Fortunately, she had Finn. “What do you mean she wasn’t ready?” 

“Her mind couldn’t handle the amulet. It’s an artifact of ancient evil, you do need to be prepared for it.” His voice sounded controlled, but there was a tremble, and he was shaking; whether it was from worry for Marceline or the horror he had just witnessed even he wasn’t sure.

“...I did this.”

It took Bubblegum a few moments to realize she had spoken, but at that all eyes turned towards her.

“She warned me. She told me she wasn’t ready. I just thought-”   
  
“WHAT?”

Hunson was staring in disbelief. Finn turned to him, confused. “But she did it before? When you tricked her into wearing it.” 

His voice was strained. “That was different. I surprised her before, and she didn’t know what to expect, so it fed on her anger, her dominant emotion. This time she knew what would happen. If she wasn’t prepared for it…” He paused, turning back to his daughter to close her eyes. “If I had known that this wasn’t what she wanted I wouldn’t have given it to her. Bubblegum, was it what you wanted, or what she wanted.” It was a statement, not a question.

“What I wanted,” the timid response.

Finn returned his attention to Peppermint Butler. “Do you know what happened? Why she attacked herself, why she almost-” He stopped, not wanting to finish that thought. The stake in his backpack suddenly felt very heavy. The peppermint nodded, having finally controlled his trembling. 

“I believe the technical definition is, ‘it broke her mind’. Tore it apart, probably at the seams-” he stopped when he saw the effect his words were having on his monarch. She had begun crying into her hands. He had known her for many years, she was his creator after all, he had been her most loyal servant for all his life, and until this moment he had never seen her cry, not like this. Finn, however, knew in his heart that they needed an actual explanation and pressed Peppermint Butler to explain. 

He cleared his throat. “It is my hypothesis that when she put on the amulet it drew out more than her power, perhaps negative emotions she ignored or buried deep within herself, things she was not yet ready to address. If I am correct in this regard she had a psychological breakdown, realized in some way that the cause was the amulet, and tried to remove it.” He stopped for a moment, not wanting to hurt his monarch further, but knowing that this knowledge may be the difference between her dying and returning to the waking world. “When a person normally breaks down, be it physically or mentally, you can treat them. In this case, however…” He didn’t know how to tactfully explain that the vampire may never recover, this problem not being a physical ailment.

With shaking legs Bonnibel stood, slowly making her way to the vampire. Enduring her father’s glare she gently took her girlfriend, holding her in her lap, taking over the job of making sure her head stayed attached. She gratefully took her coat from Finn, using it as a blanket to keep her warm. The blood still flowed, albeit a tad slower, and it easily seeped into her dress and the half-demon’s coat. Either the younger woman didn’t notice or didn’t care, her entire focus was on her vampire, desperate to know if she was healing but having no way to tell without risking hurting her further.

The room was quiet for several minutes except for the princess, until Finn spoke. “Pep-But, how exactly do you know all of this?” 

Hunson chose that moment to be helpful. “Oh, he’s been my caddy for many years. If he hadn’t picked something up by now I’d be disappointed!” Finn wasn’t sure what to make of that. 

“What do we do? We can’t leave her like this.” Jake shook his head, speaking quietly. Some part of him registered his friend as sleeping, and it didn’t want to disturb her. He knew how wrong that was but couldn’t seem to correct it. “You can’t just go into brains-”

Bonnibel’s head snapped up, eyes widening. “That’s exactly what we’re going to do.”

All eyes turned to her in confusion, and, in Peppermint Butler’s case, with the concern that his princess had turned delusional in her grief. He was happy to realize he was wrong when she steadied her voice enough to continue. “Marceline-” That name had become painful so quickly. “....Marceline and I did exactly that to treat Simon and his insanity inflicted by his crown. We even located him in a manifestation of his mind. It was a maze. But he was there, we even had a conversation with him. Betty was there, too. Well, sort of. She was inflicting a lot of damage, but we managed to stop her, helping him recover in the process. We can do the same for her!” She had begun rambling, but no one was cruel enough to point it out. “We just need to get my gear from my lab and go in! I’m sure she’s in there…” Her voice dropped at that, and it became less a statement and more a plea for her to wake up. 

Finn and Jake exchanged a look, and the latter gulped. “But who knows what’s in there?” 

Bonnibel’s glared could chill fire. “My vampire is in there. We need to bring her home.” 

Now more afraid of the princess than the prospect of entering the mind of a demon he nodded nervously. “Yeah, sounds good.” Finn nodded, more confident in his decision. 

“Let’s do it! Okay Peebles, go get your gear-”

“No.”

Finn blinked, not prepared for that. “Uh… but the plan?  _ Your  _ plan?”

She looked down at her lover. With enormous relief she realized that the bleeding had stopped, an indicator that her body was healing itself. Still holding her, she gave her shoulder’s a very gentle hug, stroking her hair. “I’m not leaving her, Finn.” It was obvious to the room that she had just succeeded in no longer crying, and she didn’t want to start again.

Finn saw the obvious flaw in her desire. “But… we can’t get in her lab. We don’t know where your equipment is-”

“I do.”

Finn and Jake looked to Peppermint Butler hopefully. “You do, Peps?” He nodded. 

In time, the princess would want to know exactly how her butler knew such things, but she was too relieved to not have to leave the vampire to care at the moment. Without waiting for royal permission he turned to Hunson. “Sir, I need to return to the castle and retrieve m’lady’s things so that we may help your daughter recover.” 

Without a word he turned, mumbling an incantation to open a portal. He didn’t look at his friend, eyes returning to his child. “That will put you right outside the castle.” Without hesitation he dove through, leaving the group with five.

Finn watched the butler leave, then addressed Hunson. “So can we leave ourselves here? The Nightosphere outside is probably not the safest place.” 

He smiled, clapping a hand on both Finn and Jake’s shoulders. “Don’t worry boys, you’ll both be perfectly safe here.” It didn’t escape the princess’s attention that she had been left out of that little promise, but didn’t blame him for his ire. Instead she politely ignored it. 

“Okay guys, here’s the thing. Anything you have on your person when you use the VR will go with you, so make sure you have everything you need.” 

They nodded, but while Finn packed his bag Jake had a different mission. He walked over to Marceline’s axe bass, retrieving it before approaching the monarchs. He smiled gently as he laid it next to her, wrapping an arm around it. He knew from experience it couldn’t cut her. “I think she’d want this near her.”

Bonnibel smiled her thanks before turning back to Marceline. “See, Marcy? We’re all right here. We’re going to get you back. You’ll be okay.” Her voice cracked. “You royal promised to come back to me, remember?” 

Deciding that this was an intimate moment Jake stretched back to Finn. Once he was out of earshot Hunson returned to his daughter’s side. “Hey little monster. You’ve got really nice friends. I have something for you. I was going to wait for… well, when it happened, but you should have it. I’ll give it to you when you wake up, okay?” His voice, previously tender, suddenly hardened. “I have one question for you, Bubblegum.” She held her breath as he turned, eyes hard and voice full of restrained fury. For a moment he glanced to Marceline, then back to her paramour. “This. Is this what your happiness looks like?” He stood, not waiting for an answer, going to greet the freshly-emerged butler and help him with the equipment.

He didn’t see the pain in green eyes.  _ No. My happiness should be playing music in my lab to keep me company. My happiness should be draining every apple in my orchard, just to see my citizens panic. My happiness should be antagonizing me for stuff and giggles. My happiness shouldn’t be-  _

“You doing alright, PB?” Finn had snuck up on her without meaning to and sat next to her. 

She sighed sadly, unconsciously holding Marceline closer. “This is the second time my hubris has almost gotten her killed, Finn.” He had a response to that, but Peppermint Butler had prepared the VR helmets and was prepared to use them. Hunson distributed them to the boys readily, reluctantly to Bonnibel, and attached the one meant for Marceline himself. Bubblegum cleared her throat. “Alright boys, get comfy. This mission could take awhile.” As Jake curled on the floor, Finn next to him, Peppermint Butler piled every soft thing in the room behind his princess, knowing she wasn’t going to move from her position. She smiled her thanks. He smiled back. 

Hunson surveyed them. “Boys, go get my daughter.” 

Jake suddenly widened his eyes. “But what if while we’re gone we have to pee-”

Exactly who switched the machine on would be knowledge lost to the ages.

When the trio awoke they quickly confirmed they were together, then checked that Finn and Bubblegum had their bags. To Jake’s disgust the three were still covered in blood, but he supposed it didn’t matter. They had bigger problems. Like where they were. Because wherever they were was submerged in deep, white fog, making visibility almost zero. Jake sniffed the air and wrinkled his nose. “I smell… rust. Is this Marceline’s mind?” 

 

Bonnibel glanced around, squinting against the fog. “It’s most likely the entrance. Simon’s was weird too. But I can’t see diddly!” 

Finn suddenly perked up. “Wait! I got this!” He whipped off his backpack and dug into it, triumphantly emerging with binoculars. To his relief, they worked against the fog. “There’s something over there!”

“Finn, we don’t know where ‘over there’ is.” 

“Sorry Peebs.” He unhelpfully pointed in a seemingly random direction that looked like every other direction. That didn’t stop them from running in that direction at top speed, guided by Finn’s preparedness. It also didn’t stop them from slamming into a large, heavy object at full force. They stepped back to survey the obstacle, rubbing various injured body parts. Jake whined dramatically as he rubbed his head, refusing to partake in the conversation.

“It’s… a giant stone rectangle thing.” 

“It’s an obelisk, Finn.”

“What’s an obelisk?” 

“A stone pillar that’s typically used as a monument or landmark.”

“Cool, thanks Peebles.” 

“No probs.”

Bubblegum had to admit that this obelisk was rather odd. Although definitely obelisk shaped it was far too tall, and the color was all wrong. It wasn’t the color of any normal stone; in fact, it didn’t seem like a normal color at all.  _ But I’ve seen this before. Where?”  _ While the pair had been defining what an obelisk is Jake had made a discover. “Guys! Over here! It’s a plaque!” Sure enough, a metal plaque had been adhered to the side of the stone statue. It was large, probably as long as Finn and twice as wide. Like the obelisk itself the metal seemed wrong; wrong texture, wrong color, and it was warm.  _ Okay, I know I’ve seen this before.  _

Finn was the first to notice the inscription, which he read allowed, as if the group could possibly miss the giant hunk of rock:

 

**Walk a Lifetime in My Shoes**

**You Will Understand**

**What Lies Broken Underneath**

 

**Three to Enforce the Order**

**Two to Stay Their Hands**

**Two More to Sow Destruction**

 

**Beware the Unifier**

**Divided They Stand**

**United They Bring Ruin**

 

But the part that was the most disturbing, the part they all noticed simultaneously and with great unease, were the marks dug across the sign as if by claws, for they spelled two words that could only be seen when Bonnibel shifted her perspective to view the plaque at another angle.

 

_ Help us _

 

It was the dog who broke the stunned silence.

“No sandwiches for Jake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I apologize for no tropes.


	4. Corruption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No trigger warning for this chapter. There is a lot of world-building though, and you can't really avoid it if you're the type of person to normally avoid it. The rest of the story just won't make sense otherwise.

**** “Let’s review what we know.”

In the shadow of the obelisk the trio had halted their exploration before it began. While Finn was prepared to march straight into this new world Jake was more hesitant, and he was almost relieved when Princess Bubblegum pulled the two into a makeshift huddle. They sat now in a circle, the princess on her knees, Finn and Jake cross-legged. Before moving from their positions Bonnibel had insisted they take copious notes and obsessively observe everything they saw. Their sight being limited to the fog, the obelisk, the sky, and the ground did nothing to deter her demand, and it was far easier to relent than it was to debate the point. Although they sat mere feet from the giant monument no one dared touch it; even looking at it for longer than a mere glance filled the three with a sense of dread for reasons they did not understand but did not dare explore. Finn, who had intelligently thought fit to bring a thick notebook, quickly scribbled down the plaque’s inscription with his arm pen, freeing the group from any necessity to further interact with the statue. It was just as well. The princess was eager to begin, her voice full of confidence she pretended to feel.

The white fog continued to settle around them, threatening to obscure their view of one another. It was disorienting, and Jake had taken it upon himself to connect Finn and Bonnibel with his potentially-infinitely-lengthy limbs. It was also dark enough to warrant the flashlight the boy had brought, though he mentally chastised himself for not seeing fit to bring more than the one. Still, it did its job well enough, and they were happy to have it. Through its illumination they were able to discover that the ground beneath their feet was hard, not as hard as the obelisk, but enough that it hardly felt like actual dirt, despite its appearance. Its color was too black to be typical ground. Finn had tried to stomp it, only to hurt his knee, which only seemed to heal when his brother kissed it better. The sky, or as much as they could see of it, was a strange mixture of blue, violet, yellow, and orange, as if it were making an attempt at reflecting the hour of twilight but hadn’t quite understood not to mix the colors together. There appeared to be no sun, but that was to be expected in a world created by a vampire.

The smell of rust had become evident, but they could not discover the source from their position, and despite their shared curiosity they knew better than to wander away from the group.

Now the notebook’s red cover lay on the ground, Finn’s flashlight illuminating the page.

 

**Walk a Lifetime in My Shoes**

**You Will Understand**

**What Lies Broken Underneath**

 

**Three to Enforce the Order**

**Two to Stay Their Hands**

**Two More to Sow Destruction**

 

**Beware the Unifier**

**Divided They Stand**

**United They Bring Ruin**

 

Jake’s hand rested on his chin in ponderance while the princess squinted at the paper, as if demanding it reveal its secrets. “We should look at this in pieces before we put it together. That’s a more rational way of examining it than just staring at it haphazardly.” 

Finn nodded, underlining the first line. “Walk a lifetime in my shoes,” he read. “That’s obvs Marceline. And this,” he underlined the second line, “is like she’s talking to us. Like she knew we were coming to get her!” His mood suddenly lifted, only to sour when Bubblegum sadly shook her head. 

“I doubt it, Finn. I think it was just her brain reacting to the sudden intrusion by three other minds. She was unconscious when we turned the machine on. I don’t think she knew we were going to use it. I don’t think it’s a personal message.”

Jake plopped his paw on the first section of the paper, covering the first two lines. “What about this one? What’s broken?” 

Finn underlined that part as well. “Maybe it means when she put on the amulet? Remember what Pep-But said, how she wasn’t ready to deal with her emotions and junk?” Bubblegum nodded, that made sense.

“If we put those lines together…” She trailed off, knowing that continuing would be admitting that her lover had tried to warn her that she wasn’t ready to cope with her own weaknesses, weaknesses the candy monarch had cruelly ignored in favor of her obsession with making Marceline into what she wanted her to be.  _ Like she was a candy person. Like she was a creature I created solely to fulfill my desires.  _ Her mind replayed the scene she had just left, her normally sweet stomach souring.  _ I did that. I did that to her. _

When she returned from her thoughts she realized Finn had been circling the first words of the second passage. “Three, two, two. She’s trying to tell us something.” 

Jake pointed to the first line. “Three to enforce the order.’ That’s gotta be us. That means all those numbers are people or people-like substitutes!” 

Finn nodded his agreement. “Yeah, that makes sense. We all enforce order. Peebles rules a kingdom, and we’re awesome kick-butt heroes. So that means those other ‘two’ and ‘two’s are people. That means there’s… seven people in here? Four besides us? That doesn’t seem right.” Bubblegum frowned; the boy was right, there was no one anyone besides the trio to enter the vampire’s mind. The only others to even know about the ordeal were Hunson and Peppermint Butler, and both were standing guard over their bodies.

The dog turned the paper to better see the inscription. “What about this ‘unifier’, and why do we need to beware it? Could it be a person too? Like, an evil messed up person?” 

“I don’t know about evil or messed up, but it could be a person,” Finn agreed. “So, then there’s eight of us in here. If everyone is in here. Which… I dunno, maybe?” 

The princess reached over, guiding Finn’s hand to circle the final two lines. “These are the most curious to me. It reminds me of the expression ‘united they stand, divided they fall’. Yet in this case the inverse is being claimed.” That was the most concerning part of the ominous message to Finn as well. Something buzzed in the back of Finn’s mind, a nagging feeling that he was missing something obvious. Before he could ponder it too hard Jake stood, sniffing the air. As he stood to join him Finn folded the paper, putting it securely in his bag for safekeeping. 

Just as he finished Jake gagged, covering his nose. “What is it, bro?” 

“The smell is getting worse, man! My sensitive doggy nose can’t take it!” To emphasize his claim he stretched his stomach fur over his nose, breathing a muffled sigh of relief. Still, he was onto something; even to the less-sensitive noses of the human and candy woman, the smell of rust was becoming increasingly apparent. If it bothered the princess she gave no indication, merely standing and dusting herself cleaning with all the grace and dignity befitting her title.  _ Not that I deserve it, not after what I did to my most loyal friend. _ Recognizing such self-derision as counterproductive she willed it and all similar thoughts into a mental box, then threw that box in another box, burying it deep within her psyche for safekeeping. 

“Alright boys, I think we need to get going. Finn, lead the way.” He saluted, guiding them with his light.

If time passed in Marceline’s mind they didn’t feel it. In fact, they didn’t feel much. As they pressed on each became uncomfortably aware of the feeling of numbness, not in body but in spirit. Feelings of happiness and hope felt muted. Even Finn’s normally shining beacon of goodness attitude seemed dull. He glanced behind him and saw that the same was true of his friends; Jake looked almost detached and unfocused, Bubblegum apathetic and emotionless. An alarm bell rang in his mind and he stopped them. “Guys, this place is bonkers.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You don’t feel weird?” 

“Well…” Jake sounded unconvinced. He looked to Bubblegum for affirmation, but the princess was regarding him with the same look a mother would give her overly-imaginative child.  _ Poor Finn. Already starting to go loony.  _

Finn, however, would not be deterred, “Guys, really!” He tried a different strategy. “Jake, what do you smell right now?” 

“My soft fluffy fur?” Finn pulled his flesh-shield off of his nose, eliciting a yelp. “Dude, that hurt!” Finn stared, waiting for an answer. “I don’t smell anything, bro.” 

“See? Just a few minutes ago you were complaining about the rust smell. Princess, what are you thinking about?” 

Unlike Jake, she seemed to actually consider her answer before responding. “I suppose my affect is lacking? Honestly, I’m more focused on deriving a strategy to achieve our goal. You know, the Marceline problem.”

“See?! Just a few minutes ago you were crying over her! You missed her! Now you’re  _ calling her a problem.  _ Doesn’t that remind you of anything?!” 

She rolled her eyes. “Of course I miss her, Finn, but now is the time for logic, not squishy emotions-” 

“This is exactly the time for squishy emotions! Something really messed up and heavy just happened, and now Marce is literally laying in a pool of her own blood. We don’t even know how she’s doing, or what she’s feeling!”  _ She could be in pain, or scared, or- _

“Finn, logically, she isn’t feeling anything if her mind is this broken.” She sounded almost annoyed about the situation, as if rescuing the woman she broke was nothing more than a chore, a task to check off of her ‘to do’ list. 

He looked flabbergasted. “Do you hear yourself, Peebles? You’re talking about her like she’s a science experiment.”  _ Like the ones you make in your lab and execute when they aren’t perfect, yeah PB, we all know.  _ With great effort he shoved that thought accusation away, attributing it to a trick of the mind, courtesy of the fog. “She’s supposed to be your soulmate, right? I heard you call her your other half. That means half of you is suffering, and needs us to help her.” He stepped closer, dropping his voice. “If you’re trying to logic this, Peebs, you know she can’t heal herself. She needs us. And you can’t help her if you’re treating her-”  _ like a pest, please remember the Door Lord incident  _ “-like some burden.” She blinked at the word ‘burden’, a memory emerging against the fog.

_ I just thought that if I shut everything out and just focused on work, it would all be okay. But look where that landed me. All I managed to do was push everyone away. I pushed you away. I’m sorry Marceline. I’ve been a real dinger to you. _

_ Come on. What are you even apologizing for? _

Her eyes closed, her mind focusing on the tunnel, the tears, even the bleepin’ varmints.  _ I abandoned her, and she forgave me. She always forgives me. Every time we fight, she eventually just accepts me as I am.  _ She took a deep breath, ready to acknowledge a truth she had always known in her heart, but always denied, because the ramifications had been too deep, too hard for her to accept.  _ She never treated me as a role. She never cared about me being a princess. She didn’t want Princess Bubblegum. She wanted Bonnibel.  _ Her thoughts paused, standing on the precipice of a great truth.  _ I’ve always needed her. Now she needs me.  _ Her mind abruptly snapped back into focus. “You’re right, Finn. Thanks. I needed that” She gave him a soft smile, and he saluted, “Happy to be of service, m’lady.”

His attention turned to his brother, who seemed uncharacteristically calm. “Jake, you know this place isn’t normal. You know it’s jacked. Focus.” 

“Eh. Seems alright.” 

“Jake! Just look around you!” 

“Yeah, ominous fog, big ominous statue, it’s got a nice theme going.” 

Finn was at a loss. Fortunately, the princess wasn’t, and she grabbed Finn’s metal arm with no real regard for his comfort. “I got this one.” Two buttons later, the hand attachment retracted, replaced with a metal whistle. 

“Uh.. what’s this?” 

“Dog whistle. You know, in case you guys got separated while doing hero stuff.” He shrugged.  _ Makes sense. I guess. Sort of.  _ Taking a deep breath, she blew the whistle. 

Immediately the dog howled, covering his ears. “Not cool, man!” But it had the desired effect; his attention was immediately focused on his surroundings, and he looked at everything with fresh eyes, especially- “OH MAN THE SMELL MAKE IT STOP.” His soft fur once again shielded his sensitive nose, and the princess gave Finn a thumbs up for her contribution.

As if to reward their momentous efforts the fog began to clear. Once it faded, revealing what it held secret, they quickly came to sorely miss it. Under Jake’s fur he paled, shaking his head. “This isn’t right, guys. This isn’t what a healthy mind should look like. This is super-jacked messed up to the tenth agree with whipped cream and a cherry on top. No, like, ten cherries. Made of fire.” Neither of his friends argued; although the description was clearly figurative the world beyond the fog was at best disturbing, at worst horrifying. Their emotions varied between them, but all three suffered an overwhelming sense of dread. Princess Bubblegum said it best, and she said it in a whisper:

“Oh no.”

They immediately understood why the ground had seemed so odd; it wasn’t dirt at all, nor was it stone. It was, in fact, a tar road, something Bonnibel had only read about in pre-War books, covered in grey dust and a strange green tint. Giant cracks spanned the road vertically, threatening to break open at any minute. Large round holes, broken at the edges, seemed to litter the path excessively. Visibly chipped and unstable, they threatened to swallow up an unsuspecting, inattentive soul, and none of the three felt confident guessing how far the structural weakness spread. Poles that were more rust than metal laid collapsed on the ground, crackling wires surrounding them like a net atop more rusted hinges. Those poles that remained standing had signs with strange shapes bolted to them, and while they appeared written in normal-writing characters none of the trio were able to focus the letters or graphics enough to decipher them. They felt an increase in their sense of dread, and the group silently agreed to stop trying.

‘Ruined’ did not begin to describe the buildings, or what was left of them. They were tall, perhaps dozens of stories, and in a condition Bonnibel immediately defined as ‘structurally unsound’. They lined the road the trio found themselves on, each made of stone colored black, tan, or grey. There were no alleys. Each was also covered by the strange green tint in blotches, much of the exposed area covered with graffiti. Like the signs, the three found themselves unable to decode the text and images and quickly gave up. What wasn’t covered in strange green blotches were stained with the age of its decay. Regardless, most of the buildings had giant holes bored into them, as well as cracks that reminded Bubblegum of the damage caused by the sledgehammer Marceline had used to wang her security system apart. Jake quickly pointed out that although each building featured dozens of windows they were all black, making it impossible to view the interiors. Many of these large buildings displayed signs, different from those of the poles or building walls. Unlike those, however, these signs, though still unreadable, did not fill the group with the same sense of dread, and Finn wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Even before beginning their journey into the ruins they could see metal structures, warped and broken that would have collapsed if not for the numerous wires supporting their weight from above. One had broken recently it seemed; it had crashed into a smaller stone building, splitting the blue pointed roof in half. Jake’s nose now picked up a new scent: fire, though he could not tell where it originated. Mixed with the overwhelming smell of rust the scent was almost noxious, and he began to feel nauseated. When they finally pressed on their footsteps echoed uncomfortably, though how that was possible became another mystery to bother Bubblegum. This was disheartening for yet another reason: Marceline had never hidden her aversion to silence from her close friends. As a vampire who prided herself on her musical gifts, the absence of sound had always unnerved her. Even when she historically harassed her girlfriend in her lab, where she typically worked in utter quiet, she was allowed to play softly or otherwise bring a musical device with her. Even at her worst Bonnibel had never been cruel about what she was sure a fear that bordered on sedatephobia.  _ Please tell me you have music, Marcy.  _ The thought was almost a plea, worry beginning to eat at her soul.

“Guys, look!” Finn had pointed above. At first Bonnibel assumed that he was pointing to the strange grey pathways that rose above the road they found themselves on, they themselves collapsed in two with yet more rusted poles jutting out where the halves had connected. Then she realized what his real target was, and she blinked. 

“...What the fudge.” 

The sky, which until the fog had cleared had been an odd interpretation of twilight was now covered in brown dust, completely obscuring the view of the sun, if there even was one. It was thick, impossible to see through, and the princess wondered in the back of her mind how they weren’t choking on it.  _ It shouldn’t be staying up there unaided. Dust is heavier than air. Why isn’t it descending? Why isn’t it killing us?  _

Jake’s focus was on a different mystery. “Uh… bro and ladybro?” At some point while Bubblegum and Finn were lost in thought Jake had turned back and was now pointing at the ground behind them. “I think we’re supposed to go forward.” Bonnibel frowned, joining the dog to see what had spooked him.

“...Oh dear.”

Where there once was a road was now a gaping maw. At first glance it looked like a giant hole, but Finn quickly discovered that the road itself seemed to have been cleaved going straight down, far deeper than any could see, even with the aid of the binoculars and flashlight combined. Even more disturbing to Jake, the other side of the road could not be seen at all, instead having been replaced with the same fog that had once haunted them. For whatever reason it seemed to stop at the maw, as if not daring to cross. Bonnibel kneeled to look at the condition of the cleave and noticed that the road and everything attached, including the internal and rusted metal piping had been cleanly severed; those pipes that remained undamaged stuck out of the ground like worms, as if desperate to re-attach to their other halves.  _ I know how that feels. But why didn’t we hear anything?  _ She shook the thought away, knowing that if she gave into despair now the group would never find their friend. One thing was clear: there was no turning back. Literally.

When she stood the trio exchanged a look, not at all knowing what to make of this place.

“Is this… really her mind?” Jake’s voice was quiet, sounding beyond disturbed and bewildered, at a loss of how or why this place came to be. 

It was Finn to say what Bonnibel had also assumed, “Well… she lived through a literal apocalypse, right?” The question was rhetorical; it was meant to become a statement, but he found himself unable to voice its second half.  _ She was just a kid. No wonder it messed her up. We gotta get her out of here.  _ While Finn stared into the maw the princess took a different approach, rising to her full height to scan the distance. Something about this world struck her as odd, as if something was missing, but exactly what escaped her. To her right, almost into the horizon, appeared to be a large building, or perhaps series of buildings, that seemed oddly familiar yet she could not place. Its condition could not be ascertained from their distance, but some deep, almost instinctual part of her seemed to think that it was out of place. Perhaps it was the architecture, or its position as so distant from the rest of the world’s buildings, but it seemed like a good place to start.

Just as she was about to voice her idea Finn beat her to it. “Look at that giant weird building thing! It’s mondo different from the others, and if video games have taught me anything you go to the most different thing first.” She was about to agree until she realized that he was, in fact, focusing on an entirely different location, this one even further. Aside from it being tall and appearing completely intact it was even more of a mystery. 

Once again, her intention was to point out her discovery when Jake found his own, pointing to a third structure. “This one’s even weirder. And closer! Let’s go there!” This one was indeed far weirder, and far different any building they had seen so far. It almost looked like-

“...Is that a tree?”

Jake immediately took off in that direction, much to the alarm of his friends. Finn was immediately overwhelmed with the fear of being separated from his friend and brother. This was a strange world that seemed to have its own rules. It also seemed to not like any of them, its atmosphere almost malicious, as if telling them to get out, despite the road behind them literally telling them otherwise. Not wanting to alarm the others he kept this thought to himself, hoping it was just his imagination, a perfectly normal and reasonable reaction to the wasteland he found himself in. He would have asked the princess for her opinion on his hypothesis, but that would defy the original point of not saying anything in the first place, so the thought simply rotted in his subconscious. “Jake! Wait up!” Grabbing Bonnibel’s hand the pair took off after the dog, who seemed to be paying them no mind. 

At first Finn was worried that the world had warped his perception of reality again, but soon understood why his brother was in such a rush, why he was so desperate to reach his goal. The older brother skidded to a stop fast enough to have his first experience of foot road rash, the others stopping beside him more gracefully. Bonnibel gasped softly, not used to running at full speed into danger-  _ Without Marcy there to catch me if I fall no stop it Bonnibel stop that right now  _ -and was unaccustomed to abrupt marathons. By the time she could focus on the task she found the two staring, jaws gaping. When she realized what they were staring at she found herself just as surprised, though maintained her dignity and did not leave her mouth hanging open uncouthly. “Is… that your tree house?”

It was certainly  _ a  _ tree house. In the real land of Ooo Finn and Jake’s tree house was seen by all good and honorable denizens as a happy place, bright and full of life. Leaves were green, the trunk and branches strong and true. The base entrance, though haphazard, merely reflected the playful spirits who made the tree their home. The external decorations emphasized this reflection; a bright flag here, a large parasol on a balcony there, a walkway that seemed to be giving the tree itself a friendly hug. Even the exposed structural supports, such as the metal chimney, merely added to the charm.

This tree house before them was far from charming. And it was surrounded by a massive chainlink fence, separated into a grid, the frame of each section beset with a number of rusted spikes. It was at least thrice the height of any of them, but if they were thinking of scaling the wall that would be practically impossible; if the horizontal spikes weren’t a good enough deterrent the top was lined with a combination of yet even more - and taller - spikes, lined with razor wire. A sign hung on one section of the grid, but it, too, was obscured by whatever force wanted them to remain ignorant of the world’s function. Attempting to break the tension Jake muttered to Finn, “See, now  _ that’s  _ a sign-cop.” The joke fell flat, Finn gaping at what lay beyond the gate.

Whereas the true tree house’s trunk was an amiable brown, thick and strong, this treehouse was supported by a thin, curved, black trunk. From the ground up it had too many branches, dozens of them, just as thin and wispy. It was shorter by half, the yellow-tinted orange leaves that made up the bulk of the house’s rooms sulking, as if they were about to slough off. Each branch was winding and contorted, and the princess’s logical mind struggled to understand how it could possibly be supporting the weight of the rooms at top. Like the rest of the world, the windows of the tree house were black, making an internal view impossible. Though the walkways were present they appeared cracked and broken, the largest of which seemed to be in the process of collapsing in on itself. The wooden base entrance was visibly rotting, and none of the three wanted to see what, if anything, lurked in the knotholes. Oddly enough, the parasol remained untouched, though, like the rest of the world’s metal, the chimney was horribly rusted.

When Bonnibel spotted the house’s flag she immediately realized what was off about the world, and cursed her failure to spot it earlier.

“Guys, what is the color of the flag on your house?”

Finn looked confused. “What, Peebles?”

“The flag! The one on top of your attic!”

Jake confirmed her suspicions. “It’s red. It’s always been red. Why?” 

“Because this one is blue.” 

He tilted his head. “Does… that matter?”

She stared at the blue flag as she spoke. “I know, I missed it at first as well.”

“Missed what?”

Deciding she had to be right, she tore her gaze from the flag to address the brothers. “There is no red in this world.”

They considered this, realizing that the princess was right. No matter what they had seen or where they had been so far nothing had been red; not the signs, not the buildings, not even the graffiti. This set up alarm bells for the princess. Being a manifestation of a broken psyche, she had no way of knowing whether or not eating was a necessary function in this world.  _ Even if it is would it be for her? Or us? Perhaps both?  _ This was another worry to add to her list, the thought that her girlfriend may be going red starved within her own mind. Finn seemed to implicitly understand her worry, and he rested his arm on her’s reassuringly. “It’ll be okay, PB. Marceline’s tough as nails.” She nodded absently, eyes unfocused, her mind trying to think back to what her lover had been wearing before everything went terribly wrong. Had she been wearing red underwear? Bonnibel hadn’t been paying attention. Did her coat make the journey with her? She wasn’t sure if it being used as a blanket counted. She had been so desperate to activate her machine she hadn’t prepared anything or formulated any plan, a rare lapse in judgment.  _ When I needed a sound mind most of all… do you see what you do to me, Marcy? _

Sometime during her reverie Finn and Jake had decided to leave the tree house behind and continue their journey, and she snapped out of it when Jake took her hand, not wanting to risk her wandering off. He was worried about his princess, who wasn’t used to dealing with heartgut crises. He wasn’t sure how affectionate or close she was with Marceline behind closed doors, but it was clearly enough that her normally hyper-focused brain was becoming muddled, and he worried for her. The ability to cope with crises such as these was an acquired skill, and somehow, despite her longevity, she had seen fit to avoid learning. This was a trial by fire, a test of her resilience and adaptability.  _ Yeah, but Marce was the adaptable one.  _ His eyes widened at his thought.  _ ‘Was’? ‘Is!’ Marce  _ _ is _ _ the adaptable one.  _ He made a mental note to be very careful as to how he would word things around the candy monarch until they had a real game plan that wasn’t just ‘wander aimlessly’.

Sometimes, however, the fates align and aimless wandering actually pays off. This was such a case, when the hard tar road abruptly gave way to a whole different kind of construction. Without warning, or indication that the landscape was about to change, the trio found a cave attached to the concrete. It was deep, far deeper than a cave should be given the landscape; it seemed to bore within the strange road and pass through its thickness. Simply put, it went down, despite the fact that there was no down to go. Like the rest of the world it, too, was silent, not even the sound of dripping water echoing. The entrance was pitch, surrounded by purple stone that was oddly smooth. Unlike the ruins the cave entrance seemed only mildly damaged, primarily in the form of large cracks, as if something big had struggled to fit through and barely made it. It was also lined with odd crystals that seemed to reflect light, despite its absence in the cave. For a moment Finn was elated at finding a ruby, only to have Jake patiently explain that, “No buddy, that’s still an emerald. You’re still color-blind,” leaving the boy dejected, the dog patting his back.

The only way inside seemed to be the pitch entrance, but none of the three dared try it. Instead, deciding to test it, Finn leaned down to pick up the traitorous emerald and tossed it down the hole. They each held their breaths, waiting for the sound of it connecting with the ground, none as desperate as the princess.  _ Eins, zwei, Drei, Vier...  _ By the time she reached ‘zehn’ there was still no sound and she frowned in response, as if the absence of response was done specifically to spite her.  _ Leave it to Marcy’s mind to be difficult.  _ Finn tapped his chin in thought. “Jake, think you can stretch down?” The dog gulped, clearly nervous, but not saying no. Finn smiled. “Come on! You can do it! Jake Jake Jake!” 

The dog sighed, but nodded. “Hold me tight, bro.” Finn wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist, Bonnibel joining just after to lend her strength. He stretched his top half into the cave entrance, immediately becoming invisible to the two once he reached the black abyss. Although his body continued to stretch he was otherwise silent, the only sign that he was alright being that he wasn’t thrashing or otherwise sending signs of panic. Although he was gone mere minutes it felt like hours, neither Finn nor Bubblegum daring to speak. When they felt him begin to retract they felt relief, tinged with hope. Both of these emotions faded when they saw Jake had his arms folded over his chest, looking rather cross. “Why didn’t you guys answer me?!” 

The human and humanoid exchanged a look, equally confused. “Uh… what do you mean, Jake?” 

“I was yelling important facts at you guys! Super insightful stuff! I’m trying to give you the biz and I got nothing back!” 

The princess tilted her head once more. “My guy, we didn’t hear anything.” 

That seemed to calm him down. “Wait, really? ‘Cause I was yelling pretty loudly.” 

“Interesting…” Bonnibel released the dog’s torso, once again kneeling before the entrance. “What were you trying to tell us?” He took a deep breath, held it, exhaled,

“Onceyougetdowntheholeitsnotsodarkorbigitsactuallyprettynarrowbutitslinedwiththesecrystalsandtheyjustreflectlightbutthatsnottheimpor-”

Finn slammed his hand over Jake’s mouth. “Dude, slower.” His brother nodded, so Finn uncovered his mouth.

“Okay, so once you actually get passed that weird black thing it’s actually not dark at all. I think it’s like a barrier or something? Anyway, the whole tunnel is actually pretty narrow, and it’s lined with those weird crystals that radiate or reflect light or whatever they do, I’m not a scientist. But that’s not the best part!” Over the course of his speech he had grown more excited, and his friends were listening eagerly. “I would have totes missed it if I hadn’t been doing the super-stretchy thing, but on the wall…,” he paused for drama, the others leaning in, “...there was an “M”! Just carved into the wall!” The truth of the situation hit Bonnibel first, quickly followed by Finn. 

“She has to be down there!” Finn grinned widely. “Jake, can you stretch us down there?” 

“For a Jake snack I can!” Bubblegum rolled her eyes, returning to her post in front of the entrance to wait for Jake to finish eating. In his eagerness, Finn turned his back on his brother, letting him reach into the backpack to grab a sandwich. Only when a curious paw reached in did he realize the severity of his error and paled. He tried to grab his bag back but it was too late; by the time he turned around Jake was staring at him, mouth open, sandwich forgotten. “Why do you have that?!” Finn slammed his hand over the dog’s mouth, quickly looking towards the princess. Fortunately for the boy, Bubblegum was preoccupied with the crystals and had begun gathering several large ones. He dropped his voice, advice ironically from Bonnibel ringing in the back of his mind.

_ Finn, if you want to not be heard stop whispering. It’s too loud. Just talk quietly, inconspicuous-like. Now go do something heroic, I have to finish this serum. _

“Marce gave it to me. Before we went to see Hunson. She wanted me to…” He fell silent, but Jake didn’t seem to get the hint, forcing him to continue. “She just didn’t want to hurt us, so she made me promise to stop her if she tried.” Jake stared blankly. “Keep it a secret, Jake. We can’t tell the princess.” 

“Why not just get rid of it?”

“Because I made a promise, bro. We don’t know what will happen after we get her out of here. Look, she’s right down there. We’ll just grab her, get out, then it won’t matter anymore. Just… don’t tell PB. We can’t do that to her.” At first it seemed that Jake wanted to argue, the two brothers locking eyes. Then, to Finn’s surprise, he wordlessly shoved the stake deep in the boy’s backpack, sandwich forgotten. 

He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a feminine voice. “Yo! You guys ready?!” 

Jake turned, plastering a convincing grin on his face. “Yup, one sandwich-powered magic dog coming up!” Wrapping his legs around a particularly large crystal, he picked his friends up and began his descent, Bonnibel lighting the way with her gathered crystals. When she spotted the ‘M’ Jake had mentioned she felt butterflies in her chest.

True to his word, the journey downward was short, despite all appearances. Jake gently put his groupmates down before releasing his legs, knowing Finn would catch him. Once safely on the ground they observed the new area, feeling their hearts drop. Like the rest of the world so far, what lay before them was a cesspool of corruption. It was, technically speaking, Marceline’s cave home, and it seemed obvious to the group that if she was anywhere it would be in there, but that was the full extent of their relief.

The cave interior was cracked and crumbling everywhere except directly above the house. Stalactites dripped putrid green liquid to the ground, the ground rock itself eroding where the liquid touched it. The stone was more akin to green brick, and radiated with warmth. The shore of the lake was littered with debris; rusted metal pieces, rotted planks of wood, large pieces of glass, even a few electronics, most notably a computer monitor, television, and what looked like a stereo. The monitor’s screen was shattered, the television kicked in, and the stereo looked like it got the same sledgehammer-treatment as the ruin walls. The rubbish was so compact it would be difficult to reach the water, not that this would be a good idea in the first place; it seemed composed of the same fluid dripping from the ceiling. “Uh… guys?” Finn was blankly pointing at the wall opposite the cave home. His voice echoed loudly in the cave, far louder than a space of its dimensions should be capable of.

There sat another message, this one almost appearing as if it were a piece of the wall itself, but the three had no idea how. Unfortunately, the message was obscured and completely illegible, as if a claw had tried desperately to scratch it out. For a fleeting moment Bubblegum wondered what could possibly be powerful enough to leave such deep claw marks in solid stone. The answer was obvious.  _ Only Marceline could be that strong.  _ Bonnibel flushed in rage, her eyes narrowing at the audacity that something was denying her of what she suspected was vital knowledge.  _ Why else would it be there if not to help us? Why would she try to erase it? I am going to straight up wreck-.  _ “Uh… PB?” She spoke through clenched teeth. 

“Yes, Finn?” 

He was being oddly calm about all of this, and that was only making her fury worse. He held up his metal arm. “I used the scanner thing you made. It did magic-junk, and we got it translated.” Her first instinct was a patronizing sigh. 

“Finn, there’s no such thing as-” Then rational thinking kicked in, registering what he had said. “Wait, what does it say?!” He held the screen up for her, not trusting his voice.

 

_ Marceline made me write this  _

 

_ ~Bonnibel Bubblegum _

 

Bonnibel stared at the message blankly. The rational part of her mind shut down. The emotional part of her mind, as underdeveloped as it was, shut down. Her ability to logic a problem shut down. Gradually, the rest of her shut down as well.  _...Why..?  _ For a brief moment she had one last emotion, but it dissipated so quickly she wasn’t sure how to describe it, only that it felt like a piece if her being ripped out. At some point she had teared up, but managed to regain enough composure to force them back before she broke down. Steeling herself, she turned her back to the wall, making for the house proper to examine it further.

Unlike the treehouse, Marceline’s cave home itself remained largely the same externally. The wooden planks were still in one piece and blemish free; it had always amused the princess on some level that a woman with such distasteful behaviors as her vampire had such drive to keep her home in immaculate condition. The doors were still sturdy, the steps intact. Even her basketball hoop hung securely, the net free of rips or tears. The house itself was structurally sound, the dripping fluid avoiding the building entirely, though the group could not reach a consensus as to whether or not that was by design. Still, the top addition stood proudly, even the window being unbroken. Finn observed that all of the corruption seemed repelled at the white wooden fence. Jake nodded his agreement, “Yeah! Like when we were kids and we played Cloud Hunt and the house was the safety zone!”

However, the house was not exactly as it had always been. Together, the group spotted four major differences.

The first, as observed by Bonnibel, was the color of the house. No longer even close to a shade of red, it was now the same shade of blue as the corrupted tree house’s flag. Bonnibel frowned.  _ Dang it. Sorry, Marcy.  _ The second and third changes, as observed by Jake, were that while the windows were intact they, too, were dark and impossible to see through, and that Schwabl’s doggy door was missing. The final change, as observed by Finn, was that aside from the grass contained within the fence there was no plant life, including the strawberries that the vampire was so proud of. Bonnibel cursed a second time.

Finn breathed a sigh of relief at the otherwise identical house. “Okay, we made it this far. Let’s go in, rest up, figure out a plan.” Jake readily agreed to the plan, pleased at the idea of being able to put his feet up and maybe finally escape the noxious smell. The half-demon’s house wasn’t exactly new territory for any of them, having been there so many times that it never occurred to them that going inside would be a bad idea. It had always been a welcoming place, except for a certain couch with secrets of its own, but even that was only known to the princess. To the boys it was a regular house, that just happened to be owned by a vampire. With a grin the human passed the property’s threshold, turning the knob and entering the residence without hesitation.

To the relief of the group, the living room seemed unaffected by the corruption that lay beyond the fenceposts. Most of the changes were subtle; Marceline’s grey amp had increased in size and appeared to possess new features, not that any of the three understood any of them. They just saw new dials, buttons, and a much larger speaker. Speakers. There were four now, all black and flawless. To Bonnibel’s delight her vampire’s name was still inscribed in a certain pink script on top of the main speaker. She still kept the simple brown table and stool the princess hated, topped by the tacky green and red lamp she somehow hated even more. This made her smile and gave her a sense of security; no matter what was happening outside of these walls this was still her vampire’s lair, and even the objects she had once attempted to throw off a cliff - only to have them be caught by a flighted half-demon - gave her comfort and a sense that everything would be okay.

There was more of the living room that only she would appreciate, could appreciate. She smiled wider when she saw the second ugly couch, knowing, of course, that it wasn’t a couch at all, merely a convincing approximation. Had Finn and Jake not been in the room she would have opened it to see what new treasures her vampire had collected since she last looked, but that was, of course, not an option with the two heroes around. To her dismay, however, she saw that neither couch was red anymore, but were instead a dark, royal purple. This felt like a violation to the princess, sick and wrong to interfere with her lover’s trophies, even if it was only the box that housed them. It was still something she valued, something important that remained a timeless piece of her living room; her tastes may change, but her ugly red not-couches were always there-  _ and they’re supposed to stay that way, glob it! _

Above the larger couch, between two purple candles, she had a demon head mounted. She had not included any backing for the head as a flourish, believing that to be a distraction from the fruits of her victory. Bonnibel remembered this demon, its hulking purple body, yellow and green convex eyes, curved off-white horns. She recalled its thick, spiked tail, its eight claws and black hooves. How it had hunched over her when she had been trying to enjoy a midnight picnic with her lover. It had been one of the first demons to make an attempt on her life and had picked the worst possible moment to do so; they had finished their meal and the vampire had been vying for her affections. It had been a rare moment of forethought for her girlfriend, choosing a steep hill that would have been almost impossible for someone without flight to reach, far from any wandering Candy Kingdom citizens, at an hour only creatures that went bump in the night would be awake. Truth be told, she had been succeeding in her attempt. But then the hulking brute, somehow having climbed to the top, had made the fatal mistake of interrupting her vampire’s courtship and she had lost her temper, breaking its spine over her knee before severing its head.

That had been the day Bonnibel Bubblegum realized that her half-demon brutally slaughtering would-be assassins in her name was quite the turn-on, and the result of this discovery had taken days for the princess to heal and had required the addition of candy biomass. As a permanent reminder of this discovery the queen had skinned and cleaned its head herself, mounting it on her wall. The princess was never quite clear on what she had done with the rest of the corpse, but she also never tried that hard to find out. It was her first trophy, and even now, hundreds of years later, she still treated it with care. She snapped out of her daydream when she saw Finn frown. He had begun to pick up on the inconsistencies of the living room.

The most glaring deviation was that the mystery of why the windows were impossibly dark had been solved. Every window, no matter how small, had been bolted shut. Large steel plates - miraculously, without even a speck of rust - covered each window individually. Giant black metal bolts, three to a side and the size of two fists, secured the metal to the wall surrounding the window. Finn confirmed that the metal was thick, thicker than his arms and were impossible to move, even with the combined strength of the brothers. They quickly gave up, seeing no point in wasting their energy.

The second difference was much more subtle and was spotted by Jake. Every single picture frame was empty. Or, more accurately, there was paper in them, but the paper was always a solid color, no images, not even a gradient. But perhaps the most interesting change of all was at the opposite end of the room. Where there had once been two stools now sat-

“Is that a piano?”

It was indeed a piano, a grand piano at that, and it was beautiful. Bonnibel crossed the room to examine it, though she dared not touch it. Solid black with gold feet, the inner wood was a light brown with a refined grain. The keys were stark white and deep black, and the interior appeared brand new. Jake sniffed it. “Can Marce play the piano?” 

The princess nodded, “She can. I’ve seen, or rather heard, her do it, but she plays rarely.”  _ My tough punk rock girlfriend playing such a refined instrument.  _ The memory of her doing so warmed her heart. The vampire could never admit her gift for instruments beyond her bass, but Bubblegum knew her too well to let her get away with such nonsense.

“Uh… guys?”

While Jake and Bonnibel had been fascinated by the instrument Finn had gone into the kitchen. Intrigued by the trepidation in his voice they followed.

The living room may have been more or less the same, but the kitchen was a much different story. The previously checkered floor was now a dark hardwood, which appeared worn but still in passable condition, even treated and smooth. The appliances, once red and intact were now white and dented, the sole exception being the refrigerator. That featured claw marks on the sides, the door having been ripped off, the inside empty and clawed as well. The door hadn’t made it far far; it was attached to the kitchen door with black bolts, smaller than those used for the windows but still visually quite sturdy. There were four to a side, chains crossing diagonally to meet each bolt. Something seemed off about the chains to Finn, and he approached for a closer look. When he touched it his eyes widened. “Guys! These are silver!” 

“What?” Bonnibel quickly went to join her friend and learned that he was right. Although heavily tarnished to the point they looked almost black they were unmistakably silver. “What could possibly be beyond this door that she would put up chains of silver to stop her from getting to it? Why would she even need to?” Jake was about to suggest they try the upstairs when they heard the front doorknob turn.

The group immediately went to meet the intruder, only to find the one person they were desperate to find.

“MARCELINE!”

Bonnibel ran towards her lover, slamming into her with a hug so hard the vampire stumbled. She felt her eyes tear and had no inclination to do anything about it; Marceline was holding her and she was too elated to care about anything except that she had found her vampire, who was whole and uninjured and not red-starved and alive and standing right-

Wait.

Standing?

She pulled back in time to watch Marceline smirk at her. “Woah there, Bon. You’re gonna hurt yourself doing that.” She realized then that, unlike the trio, Marceline was not dressed as she was when they had entered her mind. Instead she wore a grey tanktop, blue jeans, and her red boots. Strangely, she also had all of her hair, which was down for the first time in a few weeks. She also had her axe bass, which Finn quickly realized was covered in a strange rust-colored liquid. Despite her standing nothing much seemed different about her. She had returned Bonnibel’s hug, referred to her informally, and was smirking like an imp. When she noticed Finn and Jake she waved to them. “Hey guys.” She stretched and crossed the room, leaning her axe against her amp before stretching, her back loudly popping. “Ugh, I am exhausted. You have no idea what I’ve been through today.” 

All three gawked at her. “Uh… I think we have a pretty good idea, Marce.” She raised her eyebrow at Finn. “I mean… outside?” 

“What about outside?” 

“Doesn’t it seem… off to you?” 

She gave him a blank look.

“The destruction? The ruins? The random fires?”

She continued to give him a blank look until Jake butted in.

“THE TERRIBLE SMELL THAT MAKES ME WANT TO CURL UP AND-”

“What smell?” That got her attention.

“HOW DO YOU NOT SMELL IT IT SMELLS LIKE RUST AND DEATH.” It was a statement born from profound suffering. 

She tilted her head. “Oh, that. I guess when you’re around it enough you just tune it out. Here, guy.” She placed her right index finger on his nose. “Boop.” Just like that, the scent faded away. 

Tears filled the dog’s eyes, and he grabbed her right leg, wagging his tail. “You’re a saint!”

Finn and Bubblegum exchanged a look. “Uh… how did you do that?” 

Her look was incredulous. “Finn, it’s my mind. I can do  _ some  _ stuff.” 

Three pairs of eyes widened, Bonnibel being the first to verbally react. “You know this is your mind?!” 

Marceline just laughed. “I’m not an idiot, Bon. I think I’d know my own mind. Not sure how I got here though. Pretty sure you were involved. I mean, just, you know, based on experience.” Bubblegum wasn’t sure if that was meant to be hurtful but she winced none-the-less.  _ She’s not wrong.  _

Before she could explain herself Jake, still elated, blurted out, “You put your dad’s amulet on and almost ganked yourself so now we’re here to bring you back.”

Marceline was quiet for a moment, considering this. “Yeah, that would explain a lot.”

All four stood awkwardly in the living room before Marceline shrugged, moving back to the door to open it. “Well, I’ve been through a lot today, and I love having you guys here and all, but as you can imagine, I’m really tired-” Jake and Finn shared both a look and a strong sense of deja vu “-so you three should probably get going.” 

This time it was Bonnibel, now pale, who asked, “...what?” Her lover only shrugged, forcefully shoving Finn and Jake out the door before gingerly picking Bonnibel up, kissing her cheek, and setting her gently outside of the house.

“Night!”

She closed the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, thank you guys so much for your comments, bookmarks, and kudos. Each of these chapters takes about 6 - 8 hours between scripting, writing, and editing, and hearing back from people is what encourages me to keep doing it.


	5. Alignment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, friends, CwT contracted pneumonia and you'd think that would make a great time for writing, but it really doesn't. I cannot emphasize enough how much all of your comments and kudos made my day(s) while sick.
> 
> Real talk: Remember when I said there'd be my favorite trope but I wasn't sure how you'd all react? Well guess what this chapter starts!
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Slight physical altercation between girlfriends
> 
> Graphic violence
> 
> Naked lady

**** No sooner had the door closed the music had begun. While no vocals could be heard the group could recognize Marceline’s axe bass anywhere. Its new amplifier made the unique sound even more distinct. And louder. Both Finn and Jake exchanged a knowing look; that had been almost word for word what Marceline had said to them when they had first met, when she had kicked them out of their home into the rain and cold. Although her immediate eviction of the two from her cave home was perplexing it was hardly out of character for her to push out the heroes. What was perplexing, however, was her ejection of Bonnibel. She had done so delicately and with a goodbye kiss, indicating that she knew exactly who the three were, but she had still forcible removed the princess.

Predictably, Bubblegum was not taking the experience well. If her eyes were lasers the door would have burst into flames from the force of her stare. Her lips were tight, almost invisible, and her face flushed an infuriated red, rather than its healthy pink. Finn was sure that if Marceline had seen this she would have made a crude joke about draining the red from her. It would be just like her to be that tactless. When the once-pink-now-red monarch took a deep breath the boys immediately covered their ears, remembering the phone call in the castle.

“MARCELINE ABADEER! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!”

Somehow, despite the sound being so strong Jake could feel the walls vibrating the vampire’s response was musical, taunting, and unmistakable.

“No, thank you!”

“MARCELINE! We went through so much to find you and and did you JUST TURN THE MUSIC UP?!” She had; her playing had gotten louder, most likely aided through the enhanced amplifier, effectively drowning the princess out, even to the two boys standing next to her. Bonnibel reached for the doorknob, only to hear the lock clearly clicking into place, as if her vampire knew her exactly well enough to know exactly what her next course of action would be and had acted both defiantly and accordingly. Bubblegum didn’t take that well either and punched the door in frustration, her face contorting into pain. “OW! MY ARM!” When she gingerly returned her arm - Finn noted absently that he himself had once caused her to lose the same arm and pitied its bad luck - Jake had an idea and grabbed onto Finn’s bag, ripping it off and beginning to explore it. Despite his excitement he maintained thoughtful awareness that one wrong grab could have the liable stake tumble out onto the strange cave floor, in clear view of the last person they wanted to see it. He was thus excited about his genius idea and careful of the wrath of a very angry candy golem, who did not have a good track record of reeling in her temper once it flared. And Marceline was so good at kindling that fire.

With his goal tucked under his arm he ran to the door, banging it three times. “Marce! It’s Jake! Let us in, man! We have snacks!”

The music stopped, Finn and Jake staring at the door hopefully, the princess expectantly.  _ How is it that even with a broken mind she’s still this incorrigible?! I swear to Glob, Marcy, I will… do something! Something you won’t like! So… yeah!  _ When the lock clicked once more, then opened to reveal a smug vampire the group breathed a collective sigh of relief. While Jake and Finn adopted friendly expressions Bonnibel did nothing to hide her displeasure with her vampire’s antics. If Marceline noticed she gave no indication. In fact, she did very little at all except to lean on the white door frame, arms crossed over her chest, still standing with her feet on the ground. She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Let me see ‘em.” Jake triumphantly held up Finn’s red notebook, which the half-demon eyed warily. The human held his breath, both out of worry that his brother’s plan wouldn’t work and concern that the vampire would tear the object apart in her haste to eat.  _ What if she’s starving and just loses it?  _ The cover could be whatever color in the world to him, but they needed the knowledge it contained. The obelisk’s passage and their scribbles of vague interpretation were all they had to go on for this new and hostile world, a world Marceline had already attempted to kick them out into for no reason.  _ Does she do anything for a reason?  _ Bonnibel shook her head.  _ There has to be an explanation. Even if it is a stupid one. _

Marceline and Jake had locked gazes, and the dog was briefly chilled by the memories of his friend sucking out his soul. She had been joking of course, but that didn’t make the experience any less scarring. Then she shrugged and snatched the notebook. “Cool, come on in,” opening the door wider to allow the group entrance to her home as she plunged her fangs into the cover. “So what’s up?” Without waiting for an answer she strolled back to her awaiting bass. 

Once again Bonnibel tightened her lips in exasperation, muttering a soft, “Don’t talk with your mouth full, Marceline, it’s distasteful.” The taller woman rolled her eyes but complied in retracting from the now-white notebook. Years of experience taught her to see when Bonnibel was chastising for genuinely undesirable behavior and when she was issuing an admonishment just for the sake of doing so, a way of relieving her own stress. From these same years of experience Marceline had always interpreted it as a cheap and quick way of feeding her ego, and thus granting her some degree of control of a situation. The vampire wasn’t even aware if the candy monarch was aware she did such things to herself, but she never thought suit to bring it up. No one wanted a tightly-wound princess, least of all the queen, and if petty castigations kept her calm, well, she had her own bad behaviors her lover typically ignored.

Besides, it was more funny than anything else, drawing out an impish smirk from the undead monarch.

Finn, mistaking the scolding as an angry gesture, jumped in. “We came all this way to find you, dude! We put on these mondo weird helmets, went through like miles of wasteland and everything! The princess even broke her hand!” He thought it best not to explain how or why exactly that had happened, but Marceline didn’t ask. Instead she frowned, abandoning her bass in favor of returning to the younger woman. 

“Aw, Bon…” Now her face softened as she took the pink, broken hand that had begun to swell. The princess winced in response to the touch, but felt immediate relief when her vampire gently kissed the top. “There. Better?” Strangely, it was, and when she vocalized as much the smirk returned. “See? Everything’s fine.” 

That was not the correct thing to say, and Bonnibel’s glare emphasized that fact. “Everything is not fine, Marceline!” To her further irritation her girlfriend just tilted her head to the side in blatant confusion. “How can you act so… so blase about this?! You’re living in a deranged approximation of your cave home, surrounded by destruction and… and… putrid water! And you don’t seem bothered by this at all!” Marceline shot a look to Finn and Jake, silently begging for help in saving her from the angry confectionary.

Fortunately for her, Jake was well used to issuing this pleading look himself when he found himself outside of Lady’s good graces and thought quickly. “You should have seen it, Marceline! This place is bonkers off the hook!” 

She didn’t bother to hide the gratitude in her voice. “Yeah?” 

While Finn wasn’t entirely sure the cause for the urgency, he nevertheless jumped in. “Yeah! I’ve never seen buildings like those! And those weird wire things were like ‘cracklepshpewpewksh’!” His arms waved wildly to emphasize his point. Marceline jumped on the opportunity to change the topic and nodded in agreement with his description. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t touch those. It’s actually electricity. It can hurt us, so I’m willing to bet that it can hurt you guys, too.” 

Jake caught the discrepancy first. “Wait… us? There’s more things down here?” 

Marceline gave Jake a look best described as ‘are you kidding me’? “Well, yeah. There’s eight, including me. You didn’t see any of the others? Weird.”

As Bubblegum fell silent, observing the scene before her, Finn’s eyes lit up with understanding. “We saw something like this! Or read it! Or whatever!” He quickly took the notebook back, flipping to the page containing the underlined passage. Jake pointed at it eagerly, silently demanding Marceline’s undivided attention. This was a big discovery, and he was eager to show off their handiwork in interpreting the thing. The vampire took the notebook back, eyebrow raised, curious about this suddenly eager behavior. 

“What do you have here? Words?”

“This thing! We found it on the obelisk!”

“What’s an obelisk?” 

“A stone pillar that’s typically used as a monument or landmark.”

“Cool, thanks Finn.” 

“No probs.”

As she began to read it her face scrunched, both in displeasure and as if she had never seen the thing before but it bothered her terribly. This did not deter Jake. “We spent like forever trying to figure it out!” His words came out rushed, searching for validation for their analysis. “So we got that we’re the first three, with law and order and junk-” Marceline snorted, but he continued undeterred. “And that there are, like, seven things or people or whatever down here, so four besides us! I guess… three besides you?” He shrugged. “That’s all we got? Great, huh? Go ahead, tell us how great it is.” 

She regarded him with interest, scanning the three intently, before doing nothing to stifle her laughter. “Man, you dorks are way off,” she started. “Why would a stone pillar thing in  _ my _ mind have anything to do with  _ you  _ losers?” Bonnibel’s muttering of ‘that’s what I said’ did not go unnoticed by any member of the group, not that she intended it to. Jake pouted and said nothing, leaving Finn to pick up the slack. 

He crossed the room to join his friend, pointing at the text. “So, do you know what it means?” 

She shrugged. “Sure?” Once again, he ignored that her answer was a question.

When she did nothing to continue he prompted again. “So… what does it mean?” He leaned forward expectantly, uncomfortably close. A grey hand gently pressed his face back to a comfortable distance.

Her sigh was resigned, as if she were only now coming to terms with the fact that she would not hear the end of this interrogation unless she told them what they wanted to know. “Alright losers, gather around.” Jake immediately did so, the princess following almost cautiously, regarding the half-demon with skepticism. Something was terribly off about her girlfriend, and while she didn’t  _ seem  _ to have any malicious intent she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with this picture. The fact that she could not put her finger on it bothered her.  _ Did she just call me a loser? Oh, we’re having such a talk when we get home if I have to drag her out of here by her collar kicking and whining.  _ She squinted. If any of the group noticed her indignation no one said anything, the brothers too enthusiastic at the idea of solving the mystery before them, Marceline too focused on the notebook. She started by skipping the first three lines entirely, pointing to the next four in turn. 

“Check it. ‘Three to enforce the order, two to stay their hands, two more to sow destruction, beware the Unifier.’” 

“Yeah, but… what does that mean?” 

“Finn, I just told you. There’s eight of us down here. Mystery solved.” She closed the notebook, groaning when Bubblegum quickly opened it again.

“And who exactly are these eight?” Her tone was not one of curiosity, it was one that demanded an explanation. 

The response was calm, as if the answer were obvious. “For a brainlord you’re losing your touch. They’re me. Duh.” That was not the answer her friends were expecting, and they stared dumbfounded, waiting for the vampire to explain. Once again, she seemed to pointedly refuse to, and the princess bristled. 

“Elaborate, Marceline.”  _ I swear to glob, you’re being difficult on purpose.  _ Her soreness continued to grow when her girlfriend only shrugged nonchalantly, her voice never dropping the ‘isn’t it obvious?’ tone. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. There are eight of me down here. Some of them are jerkwads, the rest are cool. We don’t talk all that often.” She paused. “Well, a couple of them try to talk to me, but I’m busy. Are we cool yet?” 

Bubblegum pursed her lips. “That just raises further questions, Marceline.” 

Her girlfriend groaned. “Come on, Bon! What do you want from me?” 

Before a fight could erupt Finn thought quickly, directing both of his ladybros’ attention back to the notebook. He kept his tone calm and civil, looking to Jake to back him up. “So… do you know anything about them?” 

The dog caught on quickly. “Yeah, and what about this Unifier? Do we need to gank them?” 

To his surprise, she glared at him. “If you try to gank me the next words you say will be muffled by your own severed arm.” He shrank, hiding behind her brother with an ‘eep’. 

Finn raised his eyebrows in shock. “So wait,  _ you’re  _ the Unifier? Why are we supposed to beware you?” 

Once again, she shrugged. “I don’t know man, I just live here.” 

Jake squinted at her suspiciously, then relaxed and nodded. “I’ll buy it. She seems cool.” 

Finn regarded him warily. “Dude, she just threatened to de-limb your bod.”

He nodded. “Yeah, but I had it coming. We’re good.” The situation was quickly spiralling away from the topic at hand, and Bonnibel knew that it was up to her to save the conversation. 

“Marceline, what happened? Why are there eight of you?” 

The vampire suddenly seemed nervous and rubbed the back of her neck. “I’d rather not talk about it.” 

“Marceline.” 

Her tone was of warning, but while her lover would normally straighten up and fly right she merely dropped her head, shaking it. “Seriously, I’d rather not. It sucked.” The heroic duo eyed one another, nodding in mutual understanding, before adopting a devious and invincible strategy: Double puppy dog eyes.

“Pleeeaaase?” 

“Yeah, don’t leave a dog bro hanging!”

They both began to chant, “Story! Story!” When the undead monarch groaned in defeat they both high-fived. “Fine. But pay attention, because I’m not repeating myself.” They both rushed to the couch, prepared to jump on it before remembering how it almost broke their spines the first time they tried that. Instead they gingerly sat on it. When Marceline’s eye twitched the princess crossed the room, scooting the boys off of the center, knowing that if anything happened to the couch’s content someone would get maimed, and it wouldn’t be her. Her vampire’s sigh of relief turned into a deep breath she didn’t need as she gathered her thoughts. It was clearly difficult, and none of the group urged her to start. When she did she began by exhaling, eyes turning glassy as they stared off. They appeared to look into the kitchen - anywhere but at her friends - but her mind was clearly far away. “It was… well, I don’t really know how long ago,” she began softly, the strain at recollecting the tale evident as she continued. “Time doesn’t really mean much here. But I think it was a long time ago. I think when we came here we were whole? Like, one person. It felt like that anyway. That didn’t last long. Or I think it didn’t. Whatevs. I just remember everything started to hurt, really badly. The worst pain you can imagine, times like a jillion. Like sharp silver daggers mixed with fire in freezing cold getting pounded by a mallet.” She shook her head, though it did nothing to relieve the glassy stare. “My turning hurt less.” Another deep breath, though this one was exhaled quickly. “Then things got weird.

“I felt like my soul was getting shredded. Everytime it felt like it was being ripped apart there was another me, and I felt like I lost a piece of myself. Like something was missing. It happened once. Then again. And it kept happening seven times, always just as painful. Then it just… stopped. Just like that. It was weird, but I kind of liked that my soul wasn’t being torn apart anymore, so I didn’t really think about the why. It was just the eight of us, the rest of the world was just empty. One of us suggested we stay together until we figured this trash out, but that turned into a super-bad idea real fast. We weren’t the same person. Or people. Well, some of us were pretty close, but not the same, you know? A few of us just wanted to figure out what was going on. Three of us just turned on each other and tried to gank one another.” Finn looked uncomfortable as Jake leaned forward intently, hands on his knees, cheeks rested in his paws. “Didn’t even seem to notice the rest of us, so we got the stuff out of there.

“We tried to let them duke it out, but it got bad, so we had to separate them. Anyway, the rest of us thought about sticking it out, try to figure out a way out of here. I think we just knew that we were in our mind, so we kind of thought we could do stuff? I dunno man, I don’t even have my vampire powers.” An alarm bell immediately went off in Bonnibel’s head, but she bit her tongue to hold it, wanting to hear the rest of the story.  _ Oh, that explains why she’s walking.  _ “We wanted to make it work, but it’s been a long time, so we split and decided just to do our own things. I just chill here. A couple come to visit sometimes, but usually to tell me to get off my perfect butt and do the Unifier thing. But yeah,” she shrugged, slowly coming out of her stupor. “We’re all us, but different. Some of us want to get out of here, some just want to burn everything to the ground. I think literally, I don’t talk to those guys often. We kind of made a life down here, so we just stopped trying to figure out the exit. I do my thing, they do theirs.”

Finn blinked. “But… why are there eight of you?” His face lit up, answering his own question. “Wait! Remember what Pep-But said? He said the amulet ‘broke her mind’. What if he meant that for serious? Like, it couldn’t handle all the conflicting feels so it just did this?” 

The princess nodded absently. “That makes sense.”  _ And explains why you’re being so weird.  _ “That has to be why it abruptly stopped; when Hunson removed the amulet there was no driving force for your mind to keep breaking, so it stabilized. Though it’s fascinating that it manifested into what sounds like completely alternative personalities, rather than the personified unstable emotions you had been professing.” 

Once again, the vampire snorted in derision. “Because that’s dumb. Emotions are just blah. In case you haven’t noticed in your infinite wisdom I’m a person, Bonnie. Why wouldn’t I become more people?”

Bonnibel raised an eyebrow and began to ask a question, but was interrupted by Jake. The elder brother had tented his pawed fingers, squinting at the queen. “So, Marceline… you’re saying that some of you enjoy mayhem… and others are trying to stop it… as if you were being aligned along a dual axis of chaos and order, and good and evil.” 

Marceline stared at the dog as if he was being irrational. “If that’s how you imagine it? Like I said guy, I just live here.” 

He leaned forward, paws still tented, still squinting suspiciously. Finn coughed. “You said they want you to ‘do the Unifier’ thing. What’s the ‘Unifier thing’?” 

The vampire sighed, ignoring Jake. “One of us thinks I’m supposed to gank the rest of us and suck out their part of the soul and become whole or… I don’t know, I’m not clear on the details. I wasn’t listening because she was boring me.”

“You guys can suck out souls here?!”   
  
“You could leave at any time?!”

The first voice, Finn’s sounded fascinated. The second, Bonnibel’s sounded furious. “I can suck out souls, they can’t. Like a trade-off for not having my rad powers. I’d rather have them, but better than nothing.” Her eyes locked with the princess’s. “And that ‘going home’ thing is just a theory. No way of testing it. ‘Sides, like I said, we’re making a life down here. It’s been way too long to go back. Didn’t even know you guys were still alive, so that’s nice I guess-” 

“Hypothesis.” The candy princess was doing nothing to hide the restrained fury in her voice.

“...What?” 

“You meant hypothesis. Whether you can go home is just an hypothesis.” She stood quickly, crossing the short distance to her lover. Her voice slowly rose into shouting as she felt her patience break. “And there most certainly is a way to test it! Just suck out their souls and see if you feel whole! It even sounds like one volunteered!” Now she was flushing in anger. “And what do you mean you don’t want to go back?! Do you know how much work we put into finding you?! Do you know how worried we all are?!” She felt tears well in her eyes and hoped they were made of anger. “I had to watch you  _ claw out your throat _ , Marceline! You almost decapitated yourself!” She gestured to her own clothing, then to those of the brothers. “Do you see this?! This is  _ your  _ blood! Your blood from when we tried to save you, you donkus!” For a moment their gazes locked, demonic and green eyes boring into one another. 

Finally, and with the calmest voice she could manage, the vampire pointed up. “Shower’s upstairs.”

The resulting slap could be heard even beyond the cave.

Jake quietly and swiftly ushered Finn from the room into the kitchen under pretense of giving the couple privacy. Still, it was exceedingly rare to see Bonnibel lose her temper so completely, and the duo couldn’t help but peek over the kitchen divider, over the piano. The force of the strike had forced the vampire’s head downward and to the side, and in her shock her eyes remained both wide and downcast. Her lover’s hand burned from the force of the smack and as she let the nerves recover her free hand clenched in rage at her vampire’s audacity and indifference. Her voice dropped, hissing in a dangerous whisper. “I felt my heart rip out, Marceline. I could only watch as you tried to kill yourself. I don’t think I’ll ever get that image out of my head. We were all desperate to save you, not even sure if any part of you was left to save. When we got here and were looking literally everywhere for you I couldn’t stop worrying and focusing on all the things going wrong. How you manifested a literal wasteland. If you were red-starved from the lack of red  _ anywhere _ . How flippin’ silent this world is and knowing what happens to you in when there’s no sound. How you could be  _ literally anywhere  _ and there was no guarantee we’d even find you.” When she paused to seeth Marceline couldn’t stop the traitorous thought to remind her girlfriend that if this was indeed caused by her father’s crystal she was probably the cause in the first place. In a rare moment of self-preservation she kept her eyes downcast, saying nothing as she rubbed her cheek.

If the vampire had dared to meet the princess’s eyes, however, she would have seen the guilt hidden behind the ire. She would have seen that so much of the pink monarch’s anger wasn’t directed at Marceline but at herself; she had no experience with such self-loathing, and a part of her was disgusted that it took the form of taking it out on her girlfriend. Inexperienced with allowing herself to feel heartgut emotions, however, she had no method of controlling her animosity, no way to channel it into a reasonable conversation to convince the half-demon to let go of her apathy and just come home. Outrage was so much easier to latch onto, and so immediately gratifying. A part of her whispered in the back of her mind,  _ You did this. You broke her. Is it any wonder she doesn’t want to let you back in?  _ Yet a greater part of her locked this thought away where she wouldn’t have to look at it and instead substituted it with,  _ How dare she do this to me! _

The moment seemed to stretch, both tense and awkward. In the back of Marceline’s mind she could hear Finn and Jake’s shallow breaths and knew they were watching the altercation, but couldn’t find it within herself to call them out on it. They had had rows before, but Bonnibel had never struck her and she began to wonder if her poor attempt at a joke had gone too far. She absently pondered if lacking all of her components meant that her relationship with her girlfriend would be altered, or even irreparably damaged; some parts of her were simply better suited to heartguts, especially in terms of picking up when she was pushing her luck. She herself was largely disinterested to the world around her, and she began to wonder if Jake was onto something with this whole ‘alignment’ thing. Under her lover’s gaze she squirmed, uncomfortably aware that her comment may have been perceived as thoughtless rather than funny. Her memory - her physical one at least - ended just before putting the amulet on, and with no recollection of the events following she could only hazard a guess as to how the event had unfolded. 

Had her friends truly been that worried? Had Bonnibel actually panicked? It was hard to conceive of; yes, she had seen her girlfriend angry before, but never like this. But those parts of her that were regularly elicited by the younger woman - submission, duty, insight - those were missing, and only now was she painfully aware of that fact. Yet the fact remained that without those pieces of her she had no understanding of how to handle this debacle and could only lift her head to stare back into the green eyes that pierced into her soul, or what was left of it at least. “Bonnie-” 

Whatever she had been searching for, however, she either did not find or did not like what she saw, and her voice was that of ice. “Don’t ‘Bonnie’ me. I’m going upstairs.” Without ceremony she turned towards the ladder, the vampire too dumbfounded to stop her. As she ascended the steps she clutched the bag tightly to her; while she trusted Marceline, even this Marceline, not to rifle through her bag she did not trust Jake, who considered snooping to be a person skill. Even this livid she could not risk any of them finding her dagger. Once she reached the top the trap door slammed shut with a definitive ‘thud’.

Marceline could only watch helplessly as her lover stormed away from her. Once out of sight she sighed, turning to join the brothers in the kitchen. Seeing her approach Finn leaned against the counter whistling innocently, Jake pretending to rifle through the empty yet still strangely cold fridge. The half-demon gave no indication that she knew the two were blatantly watching the scene unfold and only rested her elbows on her counter, burying her face in her hands with a frustrated groan. Having never maintained a successful relationship himself Finn looked to Jake for assistance. His brother nodded knowingly, plodding over to rest a hand reassuringly on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna lie. Everyone saw that.” 

“Jake!,” Finn scolded. 

In response the queen shook her head, face still buried in her hands. “No, it’s okay. You guys weren’t exactly sneaky.” Finn at least had the good grace to look embarrassed, even if Jake failed to react except to pat her shoulder. 

“Just give her some time to cool off. Then grovel.” He nodded sagely. “That always worked for dad.” Finn expressed his concurrence. Marceline still did not lift her head. 

“Does that work with Lady?” 

“Oh, I’ve never gonked things up this badly with Lady before.” 

“Natch.”

Finn knew he needed to distract her. He still wasn’t entirely comfortable watching her former love interest in a relationship with his ladybro, squishy feelings taking serious time to fade and all, but he was more uncomfortable watching them fight, especially when they were both hurting this badly. “So I was wondering, Marce. Have you explored a lot of this place?” 

Her nod was listless, but she bit the bait nonetheless. “Yeah. I have a lot of time on my hands. Before we figured out that the world is empty except for us we used to travel in groups, but there’s nothing else here, so we stopped worrying about that.” 

“Yeah, it’s pretty quiet.” 

She winced. “Yeah.” Finn almost asked what her problem was with the noiselessness, but thought better of it. If in all their years of friendship she never mentioned it he didn’t want to press her, especially with what just happened. Instead he pointed to the chained door.

“And what’s up with that?” 

Immediately her demeanor changed, becoming alert and alarmed. “Don’t open that!” His hand withdrew, both raising slowly in a sign that he wasn’t going to open that. It was only when he backed away that she relaxed, but still offered no explanation. 

The room fell silent and Finn squirmed, uncomfortable. “So…” 

Without warning, grey hands slammed onto the counter. “Glob it!” She turned, following the princess up the ladder, despite Jake’s protests to stop, take some time, and let her girlfriend calm down. 

When she pushed open the trapdoor Jake shook his head and frowned. “Well, she’s doomed. Definitely doomed.” His brother didn’t disagree, but instead a thought struck him. 

“Hey, where’d you get all that biz about ‘alignments’?” 

“It was a game, dude. Remember, in the box with all those pre-Mushroom War tapes?” 

“Oh yeah! Wait, we never played that.”

“Yeah, you had some stuff going on, so I got some guys together.”   
  
“What guys?”

“You know, me, BMO, Donnie, Tiffany-”

“You played with Tiffany?!”

And that was the last thing the vampire heard before closing the trapdoor. She didn’t know what Finn’s soreness was about; she had enough problems as it was, and she was about to face one of the biggest ones. Of course, she had no idea what she was going to say to the younger woman, and that ate at her. When she finally reached the room proper she felt a gnawing mixture of relief and anxiety when she heard the shower and saw the discarded clothing on the floor. Bonnibel was clearly furious if she had thrown her clothing thoughtlessly on the floor, and while Marceline was relieved that she did not have to face her wrath yet such an action did not bode well for her. 

As a small gesture of apology she picked up the filthy clothing, concentrating until the stains faded. Realistically, it was blood and she could simply drain it the old fashioned way, but the idea of draining her own blood made her squick. As she folded her girlfriend’s clothing, smirking when she noticed she had been wearing a red bra and panty set, she remembered that she never actually cleaned Finn’s clothes, but supposed that it served him right for spying. Once her chore was complete she considered putting the outfit in the bag laying on her bed, but decided against it. After what had just happened she didn’t need Bubblegum’s fury being stoked by her going through her gear, even if it was with good intentions, and so the laundry was placed on top.

Like the rest of the house, Marceline’s upstairs had not changed all that much, yet still possessed subtle signs of the corruption that plagued her mind. Her rug, still a rich shade of purple, had become tattered at the gold ridge, the rug itself threadbare. The corner couch had changed shades, becoming the same deep purple as the rug, though the green rug below it and the room’s numerous lamps remained their original colors. Like the downstairs amp her recording equipment seemed to have received an upgrade; it was infinitely more advanced, no longer appearing like pre-Mushroom War gear, but something far more sleek, smooth and black. The stereos attached to the wall about it were also larger and the same shade of black, but otherwise seemed to not have changed much. Like the downstairs, all of her pictures, and even her poster, were blank, though she didn’t seem to notice this particular discrepancy. She had never been able to get the closet open.

Her head mounts remained affixed to her wall, and even now, despite the current circumstances, she smiled as she gazed at them. Like the mount downstairs these were also would-be assassins who made the fatal mistake of considering themselves heroes in making an attempt on Princess Bubblegum’s life. Five heads, a set of bones, and a pair of feathered wings marked her bedroom collection. Though these were not as thrilling - in more ways than one - as her first trophy they had their own special memories associated with them, trophies too valuable to keep securely in her false couch. These were all enemies who had made their attempts while Bonnibel had still been constructing her kingdom, demons and Grassland dwellers alike who had had the foresight to realize what a powerful ruler she would become. Whether they had been commissioned, acted for glory, or were just plain bored Marceline was never sure, and she honestly could never be bothered to find out. The extent of her caring was that these were poor fools who picked on the wrong vampire’s mate to attempt to slay and had to be terminated for their transgression.

The headed mounts were the lucky ones. They were slaughtered before she developed her propensity to torture her victims, when she was more concerned with ending their threat than extracting what she recognized as a sick glee in their punishment. Had Bonnibel been present at the time of their murders the situation may have been different, but her absence had removed the temptation to show off, to present her strength to her new mate as a display of her worthiness and value. She had beheaded them cleanly, and they probably died before they felt the pain of their spines severing. Though their deaths were far from glorious - for either party - she had seen fit to mount them for nostalgia, as a series of fond memories marking the beginning of her relationship with the scientist.

The bones and wings were a different story entirely. They had belonged to a Grassland creature she had never been able to identify, though she had tried. That one had come not long after her first trophy; the princess had finished construction of the section of the castle housing her rooms, and she had wanted to celebrate with her girlfriend, who was only too happy to oblige. They had stripped and were joined at the hands, the lips, the hips, when Bonnibel happened to glance out her window and noticed a voyeur. Marceline had immediately enraged, entering her bloodlust state for the first time around the younger woman. By the time the strange creature had noticed that it was caught in the act it had been too late; the vampire had made it to the window far quicker than the interloper had anticipated and pulled it into the room. More frenetic than self-conscious about their nudity she had suddenly been struck by the idea to not just kill this one, but to make it suffer, and her chosen retribution had been to rip out its wings. 

Even now, centuries later, she could still hear the crack as she yanked them down so gradually, every bone snapping slowly, one by one, its screams unable to muffle the sound. She had been careful, far more careful than she had ever been in a bloodlust state before, but the desire to hear it shout and see it in overwhelming pain overruled her desire to simply tear it in half, and she celebrated her clarity by slowly pulling the wings out. The sounds of the bones detaching from the socket, or tendons snapping, the smell of flesh and blood collecting under the surface was unmistakable, and by the time they had fully detached it had choked on its own blood. By the time they had fully separated from the creature there was a considerable pool of blood on the floor, and not a small amount on Marceline herself, though she didn’t seem to notice, too far gone to even eat the poor thing. It was only later she would realize that the entire time Bonnibel had watched the show with detached amusement; when she later watched her lover clean the wings she off-handedly remarked how interesting the bones of the creature were, and so of course Marceline had to have those as well, mounting them next to the wings. As a tongue-in-cheek irony she had affixed them next to the bookshelf she kept her collection of anatomy and physiology books the princess had given her over the years to help her learn how to master the transformation ability she had ganked from Hierophant.

Her reminiscing was interrupted by the water shutting off and she gulped involuntarily, realizing that the moment of truth was quickly upon her. She began to count in her mind, keeping track of exactly how long Bubblegum was going to make her suffer. Just as she got to ‘zhen’ the door opened, and suddenly the conversation became much more difficult when she realized that her lover was unabashedly nude, clearly having anticipated that the vampire would follow her. Marceline knew that there were towels in the bathroom. It was her bathroom, and she knew because she put them there. Which meant that the younger woman had blatantly ignored them in favor of enticing - or, more accurately, torturing - the queen. To her credit, the vampire tried very, very hard not to look down and to lock gazes with her lover, who had adopted an almost cruel smirk, but it was incredibly difficult to ignore the sight that, after centuries, she was still unabashedly and almost uncontrollably attracted to. Grey hands clenched in determination, refusing to let her girlfriend win this one. This was becoming a battle of wills, and Marceline wondered if, now separated from the parts of her naturally more submissive to the other woman, she stood a chance this time. For a long moment there was only silence, one monarch trying to resisting every instinctive urge to take her mate, the other visibly delighting in her counterpart’s internal struggle.

“...You did this on purpose.”

“I did.”

An exasperated sigh. “Why?”

Ignoring the radiant nudity before her became a lot more difficult when it left the bathroom doorway to sit next to her. It got worse when it placed a pink hand on her thigh, stroking very gently. Bonnibel raised an eyebrow, still smirking evilly. Marceline knew the answer, of course, the question had been entirely an expression of frustration; when in a war of any sort, be it against an opposing army or a misbehaving significant other, the best tactic was to unbalance them as much as possible, and the princess was certainly succeeding in her mission. This wasn’t the first time the younger woman had used the half-demon’s insatiable appetite against her, nor would it be the last. The queen needed a distraction, something else to focus on, and she knew just the thing. “I’m sorry. Really. What I said was thoughtless and immature. I don’t know what happened in the real world exactly, but you were covered in way too much blood for you to have not cared what happened.” She sighed in frustration and glanced down out of habit, wincing when she came face-to-face with what would, under any other circumstance, be a fantastic view. Flushing, she snapped her head back up. “It’s just… I don’t know what day or whatever it is there, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you guys, and I guess I just forgot what I was supposed to do?” Mercifully, Bonnibel ignored that this was less of a statement and more of a question, squeezing her thigh reassuringly.  _ Interesting… it seems time passes much faster in her mind. That wasn’t true for Simon, but then Marcy has never been great at having an internal clock.  _ The vampire in question rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “So… yeah. Sorry, Bon. I was a dingus.” 

The princess nodded her agreement, cupping her lover’s cheek - coincidentally, the same one she had slapped - to give her a reward of a soft kiss. “I forgive you, Marcy. We’ve both been through a lot.”  _ And… I may have, admittedly, had a small hand in that. _

The hand was nuzzled appreciatively, but her eyes dropped. “Look, let’s just compromise. I don’t really want to go back to Ooo or the Nightosphere or whatever the flump our bodies are. But…” She paused, as if confirming with herself that she really was going to say what she had planned to say. “I’ll try to get the others’ pieces of our soul. If or when I’m whole I want to go back I will. But if I want to stay down here… you’ll let me?” Once again, it was a question, not a statement. Demonic eyes closed, bracing for another impact, but one never came. 

“Alright, Marceline. But you’ll see. Once you’re whole you’ll want to go home.”  _ Oh don’t worry, vampire. I’ll persuade you one way or another.  _ The older woman smiled and was about to say something when the most curious sound occurred: There was a knock at the door.

She tensed, standing slowly. “Stay here.” It was less a request and more of a growl, and the princess didn’t argue; order or not, this was a world she did not fully understand, and if Marceline was to believed there were potentially seven hostiles out there. After motioning towards the clean and folded outfit - a gesture Bubblegum did indeed appreciate - the undead queen descended the trap door. Finn and Jake had, thankfully, not attempted to open the door, just as cautious as Bonnibel about the whole ‘homicidal vampires’ situation. But they had a violent vampire of their own, one who picked up her axe before opening the door. Not seeing anyone she stepped outside, the brothers holding their breath and staring expectantly. What they didn’t expect was for Marceline to return, axe strapped to her back to allow her to carry the very large, long, poorly-wrapped brown package awkwardly perched in her arms. She was reading the attached tag, look every bit as confused as the heroes. “Uh… Finn?” She looked up as he pointed to himself. “You… got mail. It was just… laying outside the door.” Hearing the door close without any sounds of fighting or bloodshed, Bonnibel descended the ladder, now fully dressed. Jake noticed her clothes were now clean and frowned accusingly at the half-demon, but no one noticed, all too focused on the strange parcel, which Marceline had set on her false couch.

Finn left the kitchen to approach his apparent gift, poking it with one finger. And then poking it again. And then still poking it. When it didn’t explode or otherwise cause anyone bodily harm he opened the tag. It was white and had featured a hand-drawn, almost childlike picture of a bat on the front, an outline of a heart on the back. A literal heart. Later, Bonnibel would confirm that it was in fact anatomically correct, and, unlike the bat, was almost flawless, except for some scratches on the tag itself. He opened the inside to read the message:

**“Finn-**

 

**I hate to cut and run, but consider this your slice of the treasure. I’d point out what you’re supposed to do with it, but I’ll take a stab in the dark and say you’ll figure it out. As you can see, the excitement has put me on edge. But don’t worry, I’m sure you can hack it.**

 

**-See you soon”**

There was silence as the group attempted to come to terms with what had just happened. Jake broke the silence by clapping his paws. “Open it, Finn!” 

The boy wasted no time in ripping the wrapper off. When he did Marceline immediately took several steps back. Finn’s look of shock immediately turned into one of elation. “IT’S A DEMON BLOOD SWORD!”  _ Wow, that was louder than I meant. But oh yeah! A lot different than dad’s though…  _ Indeed, it was a demon blood sword, though there were considerable differences between it and his old one. The most noticeable was the color; while the hero’s original blood sword had been bright red this one was considerably darker, almost maroon. It also marked, as Bonnibel noted, the first actual trace of red in the world that the trio did not bring with them, though no one aside from her seemed concerned about that. The second difference was its length; though still definitely fitting that of a sword it was several inches shorter. Lastly, the crossguard no longer featured a Celtic cross. In its place was a circle of eight arrows, each pointing in a separate direction.

The reaction pool was mixed. Finn was ecstatic, Jake impressed, Bubblegum confused, and Marceline standing in the back, away from the sword; if there was one thing demon blood swords were good at, it was hurting demons, and she counted. Soon, though, each reaction faded into a discussion about where the thing had even come from. “Could it be from one of the other you’s?” 

The vampire shook her head at the human. “I don’t know where the glomp any of us would even get a sword like that. You know, a thing that could easily maim and or kill us?” 

Finn failed to pick up the undertone of hypersensitivity about its presence, still admiring his new weapon. “Still, it’s pretty rad.” He flipped his backpack around to tuck the note into the notebook.

This immediately gave Jake an idea. “Hey! Now that you’ve got that I should get the stake-” 

He froze. Finn froze. Marceline froze. Bubblegum froze, though that last one didn’t last long. “What.” It was a statement, not a question, and a quiet, cold statement at that. The trio exchanged a look, all three confirming that they were caught and it was best to comply before Finn reached deeper in his bag, cautiously pulling out Marceline’s stake. The princess’s expression was unreadable. “Finn, where did you get this.”

Before the boy could receive the full force of the young monarch’s wrath Marceline moved between the two. “I gave it to him.” 

Green eyes widened in a mixture of disbelief and exasperation. “Why the flip do you have a stake.” Still making statements that demanded responses, rather than questions that pleaded for them. 

Marceline gulped and squirmed under the harsh gaze that she found herself subjected to twice in one day. “I swiped it from Pep-But a couple of years ago, during the thing where you un-vamped,” she spoke quietly, trying to avoid reminding her lover that she had outright demanded all stakes be returned after Marceline had been turned a second time, not wanting to risk a vigilante slaying her girlfriend while she recovered. Her next words were spoken in a rush, trying to cut off Bonnibel’s asperity before it mounted to full force. “I couldn’t risk hurting you guys, okay?” Immediately she knew this was the wrong thing to say, but pressed onward. “The last time I put the thing on I almost wasted Finn and Jake. Now you were going to be there, and I’m stronger than I was before. I could have done you all in and not even blinked. You can’t ask me to risk doing that, Bonnie.” Her voice dropped to a whisper, Bonnibel not interrupting the explanation. “So I gave it to Finn, just in case. Because he’d do it. I know you wouldn’t.” All at once, the princess was reminded of the silver dagger resting in the bag to her side and felt herself become nauseated. 

Outwardly she gave no sign, but shame began to eat at her before she could stifle it.  _ She knew. She knew what she was capable of and tried to protect us. Dang it Marcy, the one time you have actual forethought…  _ That thought wasn’t finished, the bag abruptly feeling very heavy.  _ Should I have just trusted you?  _ Taking her lover’s silence for displeasure Marceline looked to Finn. “Finn, give it to Jake. You have the sword now. He needs to be able to defend himself against the others, too. They can do some messed up junk. Not all of them would, but…,” she trailed off, the subtext that they were too strong to be unarmed was clear. Unable to look at the princess, the boy did so, Jake taking it cautiously, as if it - or Bonnibel - would attack him. He tucked it into a newly-constructed fur pocket.

Unbeknownst to her friends, the princess was engaged in a mental debate of whether or not to tell the group about the dagger. The issue, she realized, wasn’t that she had the dagger made. The problem was that she had had the dagger forged centuries ago, when she had first met the woman who would become her lover, as a means of protection in case she was disingenuous. The dilemma was that she had promised herself that she would destroy the weapon, that she wouldn’t keep it because she knew she had a dark streak, knew she could be dominating, and knew that, with it in her possession, she would always be tempted on some deep level to use it as leverage. It was an urge she would never act on, and to prove it to herself she had shown Marceline after the vampire had proved herself the candy monarch’s most loyal friend, and, eventually, her other half, her one and only equal. And, to her shock, Marceline hadn’t blamed her for its construction or for distrusting her. She had accepted the revelation far more calmly than the princess would have, that she had also admitted, but the vampire had just laughed and called her a dork. The one thing she had asked was her promise to destroy it.

Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum had failed to uphold her promise, and now the physical manifestation of her guilt lay in her bag. It would only take one of her friends grabbing it and turning it upside down for her guilt to lay bare for all the world to see. Her overactive and analytical mind immediately began to break down the possible scenarios that would lead to her treachery being discovered, and what the probable results would be.  _ She’d leave. I know she would. She’d leave, and I’d deserve it. It’d break her heart.  _ The part of her mind so in love with rational logic fought back against this self-doubt.  _ Or… would she understand? Yes, she would. This sort of situation is exactly what I kept this dagger for. I have a duty to my kingdom, and I have to be prepared for any eventuality, even if it is- _

But, just as swiftly as it had appeared, it was locked away again by that one, small part of the princess that she allowed to feel heartgut emotions. It was a part of her reserved solely for Marceline, and while it was silent in every other facet of life it was quite vocal where the vampire was concerned.  _...But I have a duty to her as well. She trusts me, and no matter the justification I still broke that trust.  _ When she remembered the inscription she had commissioned for the hilt the nausea intensified. With no outward indication of her mental strife, Bonnibel resolved to destroy the dagger and put its royal gem towards something actually of benefit.

It was only then that she realized the group was staring at her with a mixture of concern and bafflement. She had been silent for an awkwardly long amount of time. Finn and Jake had been holding their breath waiting for her reaction to the stake - Finn visibly about to pass out, Jake doing a much better job - while Marceline shifted in her spot, rooted and looking very guilty. The princess wished she could immediately absolve the queen of her transgression, but that would be impossible because the younger woman had an image to maintain, and if she immediately dismissed her action it would be suspiciously out of character, and she was anxious that it would elicit distrust.  _ With suspicion comes an inquisition.  _ Instead she cleared her throat, keeping her voice both steady and gentle. 

It occurred to her then that without being whole she had no real way of knowing how this Marceline would react to her normal tactics, and she would need to get used to adapting. “Marcy, it’s… alright.” The pause was both needless and essential. “I understand why you did what you did, though I do not condone it. Talk to me next time. Alright?” That voice in the back of her mind hissed,  _ Hypocrite.  _

The queen just smiled sadly and nodded, “Alright, Bon.” 

The boys finally breathed their sighs of relief, though in Finn’s case it was more of a gasp for air. Still, he was happy that a crisis had been averted, namely two fights between his friends on the same day. If it was still day.  _ Marce is right, it’s hard to tell down here.  _ He clapped his hands, digging in his bag once more. “I think now’s a good time for snacks! Who wants a sandwich?” That was a rhetorical question as he was already handing a large one to Jake - who had begun bouncing excitedly - and a small one to the princess, who thanked him with a soft smile that made him blush. Almost as if she understood implicitly that the boy had nothing for her Marceline stretched, her back popping.

“Well, what’s the plan, nerds?”

Jake’s mouth stuffed with a comically oversized sandwich full of various meats, Bubblegum took it upon herself to answer. “I think it most prudent to begin finding your other selves, preferably ones sympathetic to our cause. You mentioned earlier that one of you has been encouraging ganking her and taking her piece of your soul? Is she nearby?” 

Marceline winced, having hoped against hope that the group would have decided that this was a fool’s errand, maybe had a nice visit, and left. “She is, and yeah, she’s probably the one that’d be most willing to help, but… she’s kind of busy?” This habit of turning statements into questions seemed to only occur around Bonnibel, Marceline realized without knowing what to make of it. 

“Too busy to help you do the thing you’re apparently supposed to do?” 

Marceline groaned, sitting on her spare couch, absently pulling the princess into her lap. It was a habit, and although it deepened Finn’s blush neither the vampire nor the princess seemed to notice. “Look, there are eight of us, but we’re not all equally strong. Some of us are a lot stronger than the others, and there are three super mumbo strong ones. She’s got her hands full trying to handle one of them.”

Bubblegum nodded, picking at the remains of her meal in thought. “That makes sense. I imagine those three are the most dominant aspects of your personality.” A curiosity suddenly struck her. “Do they get along?” 

Marceline snorted derisively. “No way. They hate each other. Like, super-hate.” Bonnibel wasn’t sure how she felt about the strongest aspects of her vampire loathing one another, even if it meant their job may be easier than anticipated. She filed that bit of information away for a later conversation, after she dragged her lover home.  _ You promised me, Marcy. Royal promised. Don’t forget that.  _ And yet she said nothing, understanding that now was hardly the time. 

Miraculously, Jake stopped eating long enough to choke out a coherent sentence. “Can’t we just let them gank each other?” 

Marceline shook her head. “The one you want to work with won’t let them. I’m the only one that can take their souls, and she’s worried that if they kill each other without me there we’d lose that part of us. Which is fine with me, those guys are psychotic, but it’s not up to me. Not like I’m the Unifier or something.” That last part was mumbled, the half-demon clearly disgruntled. The princess rolled her eyes, turning to hug her lover. 

“I prefer you the way you are.”

A smirk. “You mean as the Unifier, who can go back to just chilling?”

“No, donkus, you when you’re whole.”

A shrug. “Can’t blame a vampire for trying.”

Finn was about to join in the conversation when Jake unleashed an unnecessarily loud yawn, a not-so-subtle hint that he was exhausted from the day’s events. “Hey, can we crash here?” 

The queen blinked. “I guess?” Bubblegum rose, allowing Marceline to stand. “Here.” She crossed to the couch, placing a hand on it as she closed her eyes. After a few seconds of stillness she took her hand back. “Cool, try it now.” Too tired to remember that the last time he jumped on the couch it almost broke his butt, Jake leapt onto the furniture, marvelling that it was now strangely comfortable. It was also more sturdy; the middle section had stopped wiggling under his weight. 

“Oh man, you’re a double-saint!” 

Curious, the princess turned back to her vampire. “Exactly how much control do you have over this world?” 

The reply was a head shake, coupled with a sad smile. “Not a lot. I can do minor magic things, like clean your clothes or fix minor wounds, but nothing really useful. Just enough to survive.” Bonnibel nodded along.  _ Perhaps to compensate for your sole lack of powers.  _ Graciously, she did not launch into a lecture about there being no such thing as magic, admittedly unsure if that was true in this world.

That reminded Finn that the princess was now spotless, while he remained covered in dark demon blood. “Yeah, speaking of which… hey Marce?” He sounded hopeful, and the vampire snickered. 

“Alright, hero-boy. But I can’t do it while you’re wearing ‘em.”

His eyes widened in trepidation. “But…” 

A grey hand pointed to the kitchen. “Yup, you gotta strip ‘em off. Just go hide over there until I’m done.” The boy squirmed, glancing between her and his soiled clothing several times before breaking. Without speaking he ran behind the room divider. There was the brief sound of rustled fabric before a pair of shorts and a shirt flew halfway across the room, which Marceline retrieved with a mischievous grin. 

Suspicious, Bonnibel whispered in her ear, “Did you really need him to take off his clothes?” 

As she suspected, the response was a snicker. “Nah. It’s just funnier this way.” She purged the clothing of its stains and turned to throw them back into the kitchen, unaware that behind her the younger woman was giving her a soft smile.  _ Still Marcy. _

Dressed, Finn bounded out of the room. “Rock. Thanks Marce!” He turned towards his brother. “Hey Jake, you wanna shower that stuff off?” 

The response was a lazily waving paw. “Can’t talk. Too many sleepies. Tomorrow.” 

Finn rolled his eyes, turning back to the couple as he removed his shoes. “You guys gonna chill upstairs?” 

Marceline was about to point out that in this world she didn’t need sleep and that it would be pointless, whereas standing guard would not be, when the princess answered for her. “Yes. I want to keep an eye on her and observe what key differences can be noted.” 

After staring for a moment Finn nodded absently. “That… makes sense.” Another stare and pause. “Well, night guys!” Like his brother, Finn leapt onto the couch, using Jake’s fur - the parts still not caked in debris - as a makeshift blanket. Marceline was about to offer the spare blankets in her closet before remembering that it was stuck. She didn’t have time to ponder this, however; a pink hand was pulling her towards the ladder. 

Wordlessly, she followed up the steps, closing the trap door behind her. By the time she looked up Bubblegum had liberated herself of her shoes and was working on her jacket. “This should go without saying, but you’re staying with me tonight. It’s your choice as to whether or not you’d like to sleep, but…” Her voice trailed off as the memory of Marceline almost taking off her own head replayed itself without her permission. Thankfully, her vampire seemed to understand what the undertone of the command was, and while she did not feel her typical inclination to just go with her lover’s wishes she recognized that whatever she saw was probably traumatic in its own right. The princess needed to know the vampire was still there just as the vampire needed to know her princess had somehow found her. 

“When have I ever been able to say ‘no’ to you, Bon?” 

When the half-demon’s back turned so she could approach the bed the candy monarch shoved her bag under her clothing; for good measure she also removed her pants to help cover it, though left the shirt on. When Marceline sat down she gave her lover a blatantly appreciative gaze. When she received an expectant one in return she rolled her eyes, relieving herself of her footwear, shirt, and pants, stripping down only to her bra and panties, as. Bubblegum smirked, nodding approvingly. “Better.” Satisfied with her girlfriend’s near-nudity she finally approached the bed, reaching the side that had always been her’s. No matter what bed they shared Bonnibel always slept on the right, and this would be no exception. To her pleasure she realized that despite the bed having just been empty it was surprisingly warm and soft, and out of the corner of her eye she caught a cool, grey hand touching the mattress. She smiled in understanding, patting the side next to her. “Thanks, Marcy. Much better.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. You’re imagining things.” She still slid under the blankets, having no intention of sleeping but more than happy to be close to her girlfriend after what felt like years apart. Whether or not she was ready to fully let the younger woman back in she couldn’t say, but it was hard to refuse a beautiful princess pressing into her, head tucked into the crook of her neck, warm arms wrapping around her cool waist, a happy sigh escaping her.

With a soft smile of her own Marceline took the blankets with her free arm, tucking them tightly around Bonnibel. Her own flesh was always going to be cool to the touch, and yet the candy woman always insisted that they touch as much as possible when they slept, tonight - if it was night - being no exception. The vampire thus saw it as her duty to make sure she kept her lover as warm as possible, not wanting to feel her pull away in the middle of the night. It had been common at the beginning of their relationship, and it had never stopped hurting. Foolishly, she had never mentioned it to her princess out of embarrassment; when she found out anyway she had solved the problem by piling blankets on the bed. Marceline had felt like an idiot for months, not that she’d ever admit that to another soul, living, dead, or otherwise.

She could hear Finn and Jake’s snoring from downstairs, and soon Bonnibel’s quiet snoring joined them. For some reason that she could not place, that sound somehow made something click in the queen’s brain: Her girlfriend was okay, she was in her arms, she was safe, and despite what felt like a prolonged absence she was still her’s. In response to her realization Marceline pulled her closer, purring softly as she kissed a pink forehead before settling back into their original position. Despite her original intention she fell asleep anyway.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Ganked:
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Ganked:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	6. You Had One Job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note: As always, a HUGE thank you for those of you out there who not only read my drivel but take the time to kudos, favorite, bookmark, review, comment, etc. I’m not kidding when I say that it 100% makes my day.
> 
>  
> 
> Author’s warnings:
> 
> World-Building
> 
> Strongly implied PTSD
> 
> A wild Marceline appears!

 

The girlish scream and cackling laughter from the upstairs bedroom alerted Bonnibel and Finn that not only was Marceline finally awake, but that she had either accidentally or deliberately startled Jake during his shower. As Finn adopted a look of at best a mixture of horror and pity the princess closed her eyes, pinching the space where the bridge of her nose met between her eyes as she quietly muttered, “She gives me little wrinkles. Right here.” Still, it was nice to hear her finally conscious. Despite her assertion that in her own mind she never needed to sleep she had done so for a concerning length of time; if a dead vampire didn’t turn into ash Bonnibel would have been convinced she had passed. She had left the trap door open upon her descent, straining for signs of un-life from the bedroom. It was her assumption that while her girlfriend may not perceive exhaustion unaided being put in a position where she was forced to confront it had pushed her over the edge. Which was fine in her opinion, there was something inherently adorable to her about a person who was so vocal that she was the very definition of ‘punk rock’ wrapping herself in a blanket cocoon as she slept.

The lack of timeflow was something the visiting friends were gradually coming to adjust to, yet even still Marceline had been out of it long enough for them to regroup, take inventory of Finn’s ample supplies, and do some snooping around the vampire’s false home. While Bubblegum would normally never condone such a thing - at least, in front of other people - she considered it purely academic, a fact-finding mission if anything. It was during their expedition that Finn had made the startling discovery that in their sleep Marceline’s fridge had been filled with food. Mortal-type food, not vampire food. Jake had literally cried with happiness at the sight, and although there seemed to be no formal explanation Bonnibel supposed that some part of their friend’s psyche didn’t want them to starve. Of course, they couldn’t actually starve here in a false world that didn’t really exist, but she wasn’t about to argue with her vampire being strangely hospitable, nor was she going to argue with the variety that had been made available to them: An array of meat products, dessert cakes and other sweets, pancake and waffle mixes, a variety of fruits and vegetables, and in enough quantity to feed Bonnibel and Finn for days, or Jake for hours.

Jake’s brief panic about not knowing if it was possible to cook the foodstuffs was alleviated when he realized that Bonnibel knew where everything in the house was by default, including the cookware and dishware. He was further delighted when he learned that the stove, despite noticeable fire damage to two of the burners, still functioned acceptably and took it upon himself to cook his friends a large breakfast, using as much of the fridge’s food as possible. Finn had suggested they save some for later - not knowing how long their adventure would take - but the dog merely squinted in challenge and shoved a literal plate of waffles in his mouth, removing the plate after an awkwardly long pause and dropping it in the sink. As his brother and the princess ate at a normal pace he sauntered upstairs to the shower, heeding the young monarch’s warning to not wake Marceline.

Once the trapdoor had closed Finn put down his fork onto a white plate, now empty except for syrup stains. “So, what’s the plan, Peebles?” The princess, however, did not answer. She seemed very focused on the metal plates covering the windows, not registering that Finn was addressing her until he rapidly waved his hands in front of her face. Only then did she snap out of it, turning her attention back to her friend. 

“Hm? What were you saying, Finn?” 

He ignored her mental absence, used to her overly-analytical mind wading waist-deep into a problem and never coming out. “I asked what the plan was. We’ve got food in our bellies, and Marce will hopefully be ready in a bit, so we’ll probably be heading out soon. Any idea what we should do? I mean… she  _ said  _ she’d help us, but…” 

“She’ll help us.” The sentence was short, but said with such conviction, how was the boy to argue? 

Instead he nodded. “Cool. But that doesn’t answer what we should be doing.” Her own plate now empty, Bubblegum lowered her fork, piling the dishware without actually taking it away. 

“Marceline said that she’s explored a portion of this world. Perhaps we’ll be lucky and she’ll know where we can start.” 

Nodding his agreement, Finn stood took the dishes to the sink, frowning when he started washing them. “Man, I thought the corruption stuff wasn’t supposed to get in here, but look at these things!” As he held up Jake’s brown plate, which appeared to be held together purely by hopes and dreams, Marceline descended the stairs. Although she appeared to be wearing the same footwear and pants from the day before she had tied her hair back and put on a grey T-shirt featuring a fire-breathing horse, also grey, though the fire itself was bright orange and intricately designed.

“What’s wrong with my plates?” 

Finn shook his head, looking to his vampiric friend. “Dude, I thought this world saw your house as off-limits? Why did it gunk up your stuff this badly?” 

When she stepped off the ladder she looked confused. “What do you mean? They’ve always looked like that.” 

“Wait, when you say ‘always’, do you mean here or-” 

“No, in the real world, too.” To his surprise, Bonnibel shot her a trenchant look.

“SEE! I told you it was noticeable, you butt!”

“So Finn saw that my stuff is a little scratched-”

“It’s falling apart! You’ve burnt a hole in half of your pots!”

“I’ve only burnt, like, three of them!”   
  
“You had six to begin with! That’s half, Marceline!”

“No one wants to hear math this early in the morning, Bonnie!”

Finn immediately felt the stress of the exchange eating at him. Not wanting a repeat of the previous day, he took a more active role by standing between them. Although not ready to discuss it, even with Jake, the hero had found himself growing increasingly more distressed by the idea of any of his friends fighting, not since Fe-  _ No. Not now, Finn.  _ “Guys, stop. Can’t you just get along?” 

To his shock the both adopted almost identical expressions of confusion at the pleading tone of his voice. Bonnibel understood the source of his anxiety before her lover and just offered the boy a gentle smile. “Finn, we are getting along.” 

Now Marceline caught up and smirked. “Oh, yeah, don’t worry Finn. This is totes normal. Lecturing is how Bonnie expresses affection.” He winced, waiting for the biting retort from the princess that never came. He looked to her, baffled, then back to the queen, who was smirking. “She’s just hung up about my stuff being ‘presentable to guests’,” even offering finger quotes to emphasize her disdain. The argument-that-Finn-now-understood-was-not-a-real argument began once again with the princess frowning. 

“It’s important for your home to look presentable, Marceline, you’re royalty.” 

“No one important visits me except you. They just go to the castle.” 

“They go to the castle because I won’t let them see the travesties that are your possessions!” 

“So, what’s the problem?”

Finn watched the exchange, his gaze following each woman in turn.  _ Man, dating is weirder than I thought.  _ Despite - or perhaps because of - their state of being Finn dried and stacked the plates gently, taking extra care in returning them to the cabinets. The noise drowned out Jake’s descent from the stairs, and Finn returned to the living room in time to see his brother pointing a pawed finger accusingly at Marceline. “You don’t do that to a guy when he’s having a moment of peace!” The queen snickered, but said nothing in defense of whatever her actions were, only lifting her hands in mock defense. Before he could ask what happened the dog stomped to the green backpack, muttering as he pulled out a bag of cookies, shoveling one angrily into his mouth as he glared at the queen, who was still smirking.

“Uh… what happened?” 

“Jake’s being lame.” The elder brother choked down a cookie, taking a deep breath in preparation for continuing the heated squabble.

_ This is counterproductive.  _ Bonnibel cleared her throat, but when it didn’t stop Marceline’s smug look or Jake’s death glare she took a more vocal approach. “Yo!” That got everyone’s attention, who turned obediently towards her. “That’s better. Now, what is the plan?,” she repeated Finn’s question to the greater audience.  _ This is your chance, Marceline. Uphold your end of the bargain.  _

To both her surprise and pleasure, the vampire let out an exaggerated yet defeated groan. “You guys are still stuck on this whole thing where you disrupt my life for the sake of a rescue mission I didn’t ask for?” No one took the bait, only nodding that, yes, they were still in that camp. Realizing that her attempt at starting an argument failed Marceline crossed her arms, issuing a glare that fell apart immediately when she realized how hopeful her friends looked. Even in her irritation she didn’t have it in her to break their hearts, even if she still possessed no urge to return topside. Though she would never admit it she had missed them more than she initially anticipated, and was having trouble coming to terms with the thought that a part of her, somewhere, did want to go home with them.

Maybe.

“...Fine. Whatever. You dorks are lucky that I know where the one who actually wants to get ganked is. Get your crud together, I don’t know when we’ll be back, and it’s not a nice place outside. This house? Nice place. Outside this house? Not nice, and not safe. Like I said, a couple of us are cool, but others are jerkwads, and three are jerkwads with enough power to level the place if they weren’t so obsessed with each other-” The heroic brothers breathed a sigh of relief, which stopped when Marceline didn’t. “-but that doesn’t mean they still won’t come after you. They’d still come after us, I don’t know why they’d ignore you.” Finn opened his mouth. “Yeah, I know, we’re friends. That might not mean squat.” She stopped, letting the weight of the subtext sink in. Although her expression was harsh, Finn recognized that it didn’t meet her eyes. There was a different feeling dwelling there, he recognized it from when she first handed him her stake, back in Bubblegum’s defunct spy room, what felt like days ago. It was a look of apprehension, of knowing that she could hurt or kill the people she cared about most. But this time, it went deeper than that, because this time those parts of herself had been ripped away, beyond any semblance of self-control she may possess. 

Back in the Citadel there was always the possibility, unlikely as it was, that if Marceline had lost control the trio could remind her of who she was, what they were to her, give her the means to regain control over her predilections. But in this world the rules were different. If the vampire was to be believed those parts of her that governed her natural monstrous tendencies were entirely separate from those parts that valued the three people before her, and thus had no incentive to spare them, and she no means to stop it. Except for Marceline no one knew much about them either; there were seven others, one seemed like a pretty cool gal, but the rest could be anything. Although the undead queen had never hidden her bloodthirsty core from either brother she had always made sure to not release it, or, as they now realized, at least around them.

But Finn saw something else in the eyes of the Marceline before him, the same thing he saw when he had broken, when he saw that she had held him, even sang to soothe him, then did nothing even allude to his brother or her girlfriend what had transpired. She had accepted his breakdown, even apologized for causing it, had been oddly gentle in helping him through it. The look he saw now was not exactly the same, and he wondered if that part was separate from her now as well, but he saw enough to know that this was far harder on her than it was on any of them. Whatever emotions or urges she possessed in Ooo were manifested in physical form in her mind, and she had no powers save for the ability to remove their souls and her demonic strength. He wondered then how much of her pushing them away was because she didn’t really want to come home or, more likely in his opinion, how much was because she didn’t want to risk them getting killed.

A side-long glance towards Bubblegum did not allow him to decipher what she could be feeling about the events about to transpire, though Jake was doing a fairly good job at pretending not to be terrified. His mind was made up.  _ We’ll save you, Marce.  _ Perhaps suspecting that Finn had become more insightful over the years Marceline refused to meet his eyes for long, scanning the trio. “Jake, keep the stake ready. If you try to gank me, I’m not kidding, I will rip your arm off and shove it down your throat.” He gulped. “But the others are fair game if they attack you. Finn,” she turned to face him directly, the trace of trepidation now missing from her eyes. “You have a demon blood sword. Use it. Again, not on me.” He appreciated her not making the same threat to rip his arm off; even for Marceline the joke would have been in poor taste. As it normally did, her gaze softened when she addressed her lover. “I don’t have a stake or sword. Do you have anything you can use to defend yourself? You know, if I’m too busy off doing something awesome.”

Princess Bubblegum’s talents were numerous. She was a master strategist, a machinator in every sense of the word. She could use diplomacy as armament, could defeat armies that far out-armed her own, was skilled at hand-to-hand combat, and was considered by many to be the smartest woman in all of Ooo, be they royalty or peasant. She could literally sew life together and manifest her will in others without their knowledge or consent. But if there was one talent she was most proud of it was her ability to lie. She had learned at a young age, before her kingdom was even constructed, that if you knew what to say you could do anything. You could convince cowardly citizens that the bananas with spears were totally what kept them safe. You could persuade your friends that the demon with a wooden plank shoved up its backside placed outside of the kingdom walls like a trophy was a one-time incident that certainly did not require serious investigation. You could make any lie into any unquestionable fact, strike down any opponent, win any favor. And, like the rest of her talents, Princess Bubblegum took pride in this one and wielded it as a weapon without hesitation.

Bonnibel Bubblegum had differing opinions about this talent, though not out of love for her enemies, citizens, or even friends. Her reluctance to use her fabulous gift came under only one condition, and that was one Marceline Abadeer, because as mercurial, tactless, and wicked as the vampire was she was more a part of her than her crown was. Marceline had been there before there even was a crown, and, if her kingdom did fall in hundreds or even thousands of years, she knew Marceline would be there still. In a world of variables she was the one constant; somehow the flighty vampire was the most stable aspect of her life, and in a dramatic departure from her opinions towards the rest of the world she trusted her lover. Marceline knew her better than anyone else, accepted those parts of herself that none could ever know. She had been sworn to confidentiality, and even in their most vicious of arguments the older monarch had never dreamed of revealing any of her princess’s secrets. As paranoid as Bubblegum was, she trusted her vampire, who had proved herself countless times. She could not always be an open book, but Marceline accepted that as well; honesty wasn’t a strength of her’s, what with it undermining most of her abilities and all, but over the centuries she had lost the inclination to outright deceive her mate.

_ Except I’m doing it right now. I promised to never lie to her, and yet here we are.  _ It had been a tearful compromise; the queen would accept the princess’s inability to be forthcoming so long as the princess agreed to not purposefully mislead her. The irony of the situation was not lost on her. She had the dagger commissioned centuries ago to protect herself against the half-demon, should she prove too dangerous to keep-  _ even as a pet  _ -around her kingdom, only to vow to destroy the thing when she realized that, if anything, Marceline was the greatest champion her home could ever know. Yet she had kept it, and now it could be used for its intended purpose, as a way of stopping a psychotic vampire bent on her destruction and she could not wield it without revealing herself-  _ as the traitor I am. _

How could she tell the older woman that she did have a way of protecting herself when that information had the potential to tear them apart?

And so, it was with a heavy conscience, false expression, and calm voice that Princess Bubblegum confirmed that, no, she had no means of defending herself should a hostile vampire make herself apparent and it broke her heart when Marceline accepted this claim without question or suspicion. 

“Alright, we’ll find you something. Maybe the one we’re going to find has something. She travels a lot between the different Structures, maybe she found something.” 

Finn tilted his head, distracting the queen from the silence of Bonnibel’s internal screaming. “Structures?” 

“Oh, yeah, hold on. Got your notebook?” He dug through his backpack and tried to hand it to her, but she only motioned for him to drop it on the counter. “Here.” Anticipating what she was about to do he clicked open his arm-pen and allowed her to use it. She drew a crude map, simple due to the paper’s small size, but possessing four distinct ‘X’ landmarks, releasing his arm once her task was complete. “Check it, guys. Most of the world is just a load of ruins and other crud,” as she started her explanation Jake and Bonnibel joined her, “but some things remained standing, like my house. So, some of us just hang there. The one we’re meeting up with goes between them a lot to check in on us.” 

Jake tilted his head, though he did not look away from the map. “Then why haven’t we seen her?” 

Marceline shook her head before pointing to one of the marks, which seemed a decent distance away from the mark that indicated their location. “She’s been busy with the ‘me’ over here. The last time we saw each other she told me to meet her there when I’m ready to get off our obviously-perfect butt and ‘do my job’.” More finger quotes. “I haven’t seen her since.” 

Finn frowned, a sinking feeling growing in his tum. “Is it possible she got killed?” 

To his relief, she shook her head. “Not possible. We’re all the same person; if one of us were killed we’d have all sensed it. She’s alive, just busy.”

“What could keep her that busy?”

Marceline fell silent as she stared at the mark that would be their destination that was still covered by a grey finger, and all eyes turned to her. “Yeah… remember how I said there were Three Big Baddies of us?” She didn’t wait for answers. “Yeah, one of them is there, and she’s keeping tabs on her.”

Somehow, Jake paled. “Wait. So you’re telling us that we just got here and we already gotta have a big showdown?!” 

She shrugged, taking her hand back to cross her arms. “To be honest, I don’t know what the story is there. It’s not like we can talk to each other when we’re not in the same room. We just get vague senses of where we all are, and that’s where she is.” 

“Do you know how to get there?” When Marceline nodded Finn took the notebook back. “Okay guys! We got a plan! Go to the place and do the thing!” Jake seemed reluctant. “You wanna go make the snacks, buddy?” 

He squinted. “Are you trying to convince me to do something I don’t want to do using my tum-tum? Because…” He didn’t finish, he just ran to the kitchen, shouting happily.

Finn blinked after his brother, clearly not having expected that conversation to go so well. He shrugged at the monarchs, then proceeded to start packing the bag, shoving as many supplies into it as physically possible while leaving enough room for the mountain of snacks Jake was surely about to stuff inside. Marceline fell silent, staring at the metal plate that existed in place of the window. The curious part of Bonnibel wanted to know why those plates were in place, but concern laced with guilt won out, and she took the other woman’s hand. The feeling was surreal for the princess. The last time she had taken her lover’s hand in this way she had been trying to convince her to go through with their plan to master her father’s chaos amulet, a plan that had backfired hideously. And here she was again, trying to convince her best friend to take part in yet another plan that had the potential to end catastrophically. Her hubris had almost killed Marceline twice, and she had no intention of letting there be a third time.  _ This time is different. The first two times I tried to change her as a person fundamentally. Now I just want my Marceline back. _

The vampire jumped at the contact, clearly startled, then rubbed the back of her neck nervously, trying not to look her girlfriend in the eye out of obvious embarrassment. “Sorry. Still not used to being touched suddenly.” Bonnibel just smiled sadly, not expressing her relief that that was all the problem was. With the guilt undertow she possessed she had somehow feared that her queen had pulled away out of anger, or perhaps disgust, and was happy to hear of a problem so simple relatively. When she tried taking the grey hand a second time she was rewarded with a reassuring squeeze, matching the one she offered first. 

When Jake returned he took Finn’s backpack to shove his prize food hoard into, temporarily relieving the human of his burden. “Hey, Marce, question. What if your friend-you tries to take the Big Baddie-you out before we get there?” 

Marceline shook her head. “She wouldn’t. No one else can absorb souls, and she won’t gank anyone without me there. We don’t know what’ll happen to those pieces of us that I don’t absorb, and she doesn’t want to risk them just… you know… disappearing or whatever.” 

Finn raised an eyebrow. “Even a Big Baddie?” 

A nod. “Yeah. She’s been really clear on the whole ‘we’re stuck with each other’ thing.” While externally Finn nodded understandingly, but internally he was smirking.  _ Aw… Marce has a secret noble side. _

Jake poked his head up from the bag to continue his brother’s line of questioning. “If you’ve known where this Big Baddie is, why haven’t you just ganked her already?” 

Marceline sighed, closing her eyes as she shook her head. “It’s not that simple. She’s super-powerful. We tried once, but when I didn’t want her part of the soul the plan fell apart. I still don’t, but…” Her trail off was blatant as she turned to look deliberately at Bonnibel, as if blaming her for their up-coming predicament. Bubblegum ignored the look entirely; as much as she didn’t want to she took her hand back, heading towards the door in a not-so-subtle signal that the group needed to start moving. 

Finn once again picked up the conversation trail that Jake had left standing, grinning as he strapped the demon blood sword to his back. “Well, you got us now, Marce! Between two of you’s and the three of us we can take her down, you can get her soul, and bam!” His metal fist hit his flesh hand. “One down, six to go!” Although she objected to Bonnibel doing anything without a weapon she didn’t disagree with the plan on principle she grabbed her bass and followed her girlfriend out the door, Finn and Jake tagging behind.

When Marceline walked away without locking up Jake sounded skeptical. “Uh… it’s almost like you’re not expecting us to come home,” he laughed nervously, eyes darting. 

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t stop. “No, dork, we’ll be back. There’s just no point in locking up.” 

“How come, Marce?” 

“Finn, the only people who know about the house are us and the rest of me.” 

“Yeah, but, you said some are evil.” 

“‘Evil’ is relative. But if they’ve decided this house isn’t their home anymore they can’t come back, so the only ones who can still get in are allies.” Bonnibel frowned, not wanting to dwell on the symbolism behind that. It sounded too sad, and for the first time she began to wonder how broken her girlfriend was, and if she could truly be pieced back together if her mind was so willing to both create and accept such logic. She bit her tongue to distract herself.  _ No. Promises were made. She said she’d come home to me, I said I’d stitch her back together if she broke.  _

By the time she came out of her thoughts Jake seemed to be waiting expectantly, tapping his foot. “Geez, finally. Come on, princess, let’s get out of here and back into the fresh-” He stopped and blinked. “...Huh.” 

Marceline put her hand on his shoulder. “Probably shouldn’t think about it too hard.” He absently nodded his assent, then proceeded to sweep the group into long, stretchy, furry arms and lift them quickly out of the cave, ignoring how uncomfortable with the whole situation Marceline looked. Finn’s smile was sympathetic.  _ Poor Marce. I bet she misses flying a bunch.  _ This seemed especially likely when she detached herself from her friend the moment she could, silently thankful that the dog had not chosen to enact revenge for her earlier prank, which she continually insisted to herself was still hilarious. 

When Jake’s back half rejoined his front he seemed to read her mind, scowling at her. “See what a good guy I am? I could have left you there!”

She returned his scowl, strapping her weapon to her back. “I could have climbed out, you dink! How do you think I get outside in the first place?!” 

Finn, easily reading the animosity, stood between them, one palm raised to each at chest level in a sign to calm down. “Alright guys, chill. What happened?”

“Jake has no sense of humor!”

“Pranks are only funny when they happen to someone else!”   
  
“You’re someone else!”   
  
“Not to me I’m not!”

“Children!” It was the same voice the princess used when arbitrating between her citizens, especially when they were being particularly idiotic, a tone of scolding and disapproval. They stopped immediately and turned to her, more out of habit than fear, as they mutually assured themselves. “Good. Now, what happened?” Her arms were crossed, her look pointed, her posture demanding an explanation immediately. They looked at one another again, the animosity still evident, but subdued. “Good. Now, calmly-”

The princess wasn’t able to finish her command. All at once the group and the area surrounding them were overwhelmed by a concussive sound that forced all hands to cover all ears without thought. Bonnibel’s eyes closed from the sheer force of the noise, the sound of mechanical howling combined with the unmistakable cacophony of large pieces of metal scraping one another, its source indiscernible. The sound echoed off of the hollow ruins, a stark contrast to the previously silent world. Having grown unaccustomed to loud sounds this one was painful in its magnitude, the most so for Jake and Marceline courtesy of their sensitive hearing. Once the bulk of the commotion faded it was followed by the sound of something long and large whipping, a boom that brought the princess back to the time during her castle’s construction when all at once every chord from every piece of machinery snapped and struck the air, then the ground, mercifully missing her children. It, too, was joined by another sound, a thunk of such force that, logically, the ground should have shaken, and she was more disturbed that it did not than from the thud itself. It was only when that noise dispersed that she realized the metallic screech had not actually faded, the echo had merely shifted direction, a phenomenon that should not have been possible, had this world obeyed normal physics. She frowned.  _ Even physics betrays me here. _

Once the bulk of the wail diffused three sets of eyes turned to their reluctant guide in shock. Strangely, despite it being her world, she was the last to remove her hands from her ears, eyes darting around the area as if frantically searching for something. Yet nothing had changed; the cave behind them just as intact as it was when they exited moments ago, there seemed to be no new additions to the collapsed buildings, the ground was still the strange black material. Now the smell of rust had returned, more powerful than before, enough that even Finn and Bonnibel had to shield their noses from the stench. Before any could complain Marceline acted, censoring the smell for her friends just as she had for Jake when they first found her. Jake’s tearful thanks and declaration of her triple-sainthood went unnoticed by the vampire. She was tenser than the three had ever seen in this world, hands clenched, back too straight, and had not stopped her distressed search, even though she remained rooted to the group’s vicinity.

Finn was the first to regain his composure, well-practiced from his years of adventuring. But even they had not prepared him for such a chilling noise, and he relied purely on adrenaline, mentally positioning the disturbance as the mark of the next phase of their adventure.  _ That’s all this is. An adventure. This world isn’t real. It can’t hurt-  _ He blinked, then looked desperately to the princess. “Peebs, what happens if we kick it in this world?” 

She was only half-listening, he realized. Seeing her girlfriend so panicked had alarmed her as well, and she joined in the visual search, despite not knowing what they were looking for or even what constituted as normal. Her response did not distract her from her scan. “...Hm? Oh. If we die in this world we’ll be ejected back to ours.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh. So it can’t actually hurt us?” 

“I didn’t say that.” 

He waited for her to elaborate, but if she had planned to she was stopped by Jake’s agitated exclamation, “What the flip was that, Marceline?!” 

When she didn’t respond he was momentarily convinced she either did not hear him or was blatantly ignoring him and was about to repeat his question with more panic and anger when she broke her silence, barely, as it came out quietly, just above a whisper. “...We have to get out of here. That was too close. We need to get clear of here.”

A thought struck Jake then, and it made his blood run cold. “Hey, Marceline…” He waited until she turned to him, wanting her full attention for his question. “You told us that there’s nothing here except all of you. Then you told us that you hadn’t seen any of the others in a long time.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Then why the junk was your axe covered in blood when we first got here?!” She was quiet for a few moments, then opened her mouth, only to be interrupted once again by the dog. “And don’t tell me it was rust! It might have looked like rust but my nose knows blood when it sees it!” He crossed his arms, two more pairs of eyes turning to the undead queen as she fell silent, at first asking for an explanation, then demanding it. She looked everywhere but at them; she didn’t need to look to know that Jake was angry, that Finn wasn’t hiding his disappointment, and that Bonnibel had crossed her arms and was shooting her a look to forcibly remind her that they had rules against lying to one another, rules that Marceline was bound by even if she was literally a broken soul.

…”Would you believe-”   
  
“I would believe the truth, Marceline!”   
  
The biting tone of voice and the angry disenchantment firmly rooted in green eyes gave the vampire a horrible sense of deja vu, and even separate from the part of her that regulated submission to the princess she squirmed. It wasn’t the feeling of displeasing your ruler, or someone who unquestionably dominated your spirit, it was the feeling of disappointing someone so close to you, someone who had spent centuries at your side, as an ally, a friend, a lover, a mate, in that order. It was a gnawing feeling, one that made Marceline acutely aware that even though she was still reluctant to go through with this mission, was still quite content to return to her semi-realistic cave home, her friends were sacrificing so much just on her behalf, and she had hidden information from them because she couldn’t admit something important, not to them, but to herself.

When she came to the conclusion that she was unable to look her own girlfriend in the eye she began to reconsider the choices she had made in life leading to that moment.

“...Look. The deal here is that you would all be a lot safer if you weren’t around me.” When Bonnibel began to flush angrily the vampire raised her hand, signaling that she wasn’t done yet. Although the candy golem’s temper didn’t fade she held her tongue. “You probably noticed, but this-” She gestured to the entirety of the world around them. “-Can’t cross into my home. There are differences in it, yeah, and honestly I don’t remember what they are anymore, but nothing malicious can get in. So yeah, I made a pretty nice life for myself, because  _ I don’t go outside. _ ” 

Finn glanced around. “Because of the weird noise we heard?” 

“Yeah.” She paused. “I… may not have been entirely honest. I mean, if you squint hard enough at what I’ve said.” A glance out of the corner of her eye confirmed her suspicion that Bonnibel was not amused by her evasive behavior. “To be honest, we’re not sure what that noise is exactly. All we know is that when it happens something in this world changes, the rust smell gets worse, and sometimes there are things.” 

Jake gulped. “...Things?” 

She crossed her arms, frowning. “Yeah. Things. Usually they’re alive, or at least undead. I never stopped to ask them, I just kick their butts.” 

“Does… it happen a lot?” 

“Not really. The last time it happened you dorks showed up.” 

“And… the blood?” 

“Yeah. I was minding my own business, it showed up, I kicked its butt, I came home, and you guys were squatting in my house!” The last sentence came out in a rush, the vampire clearly growing testy. 

Before Jake could panic more Finn decided to cut the interrogation short. “If it finds us we’ll drop-kick it. Let’s just find Marceline… the other Marceline. The one that’s not trying to kill our Marceline, and by extension us.” He slammed his metal fist into his palm, puffing out his chest. “We’re all professional butt-kickers. No prob.” Marceline was silent, and the boy took that as affirmation. “Rock. Alright Marce, can you show us where to go?” Without waiting for an answer he flipped his bag around to find the map, but a grey hand on his arm stopped him. 

“Don’t bother. Like I said, we can sense each other. I know where to go.” Her previous temper flare seemed to have abated; her words were quiet, resigned to her fate. Finn took this as a good thing.

Jake sighed dramatically. “Fine. I’ll give you all a ride to wherever the lump we’re going,” he turned, squinting at Marceline. “Despite what you did. Because I’m good.” 

“I told you, it was funny!” 

Finn shook his head, relieved when they both mutually dropped the topic in favor of Jake’s transformation, abusing his powers to become a dog easily twenty times his mass, giving him the size and strength needed to carry his friends. He scooped them up in one paw, depositing them on his back, ignoring Marceline’s indignant look. Even mad at her, he wasn’t going to mock her inability to fly.  _ Man, I remember what it was like to lose my pows.  _ He shuddered at the memory, though if anyone noticed they chose not to comment. “Marceline, sit up front with your ol’ Uncle Jake and tell me where to go!” It was an attempt to lighten the mood, to show that despite how disgruntled he was with her earlier prank they were still buds. 

With an encouraging nudge from the remaining passengers Marceline reluctantly moved towards the front, sitting between the dog’s shoulder blades. Bonnibel moved position to be immediately behind her, both for reassurance and to make sure that the queen didn’t try to flee. Finn sat at the rear - both literally and figuratively - keeping an eye behind them for whatever creature the vampire had been so agitated about. Of the group he knew that he stood the best chance defending them; Bubblegum was weapon-less, Marceline was powerless save for her demonic strength and heightened senses, and Jake had a less-than-stellar track record of not running away from surprise attacks. Finn, on the otherhand, had, if nothing else, the demon blood sword.  _ If Marceline was that weird about it it’s gotta work against whatever else is here.  _

When Jake started moving Finn turned to the back, beginning his watch. “So where are we going? The Treehouse?”

His guide blinked, looking back to him just as he turned to her. “The Treehouse?” 

“Yeah, we saw it on the way here. Except it was all contorted and messed up.” 

She winced. “Oh. Yeah. That thing. Yeah, no, no way.  _ They  _ live there, and they’re weird.” He almost asked who ‘ _ they _ ’ were, but the undead rockstar continued quickly, as if anticipating that question. “Besides, we’d never get over the wall. Everytime I see it it’s taller.” 

“Yeah, the spikes don’t really help either. Can’t we go around it?” 

Her response came quickly, as if prepared for that as well. “No.” When she didn’t elaborate the princess poked her side, a silent admonishment of ‘ _ manners’ _ . “The wall extends everywhere they want it to. Even if we tried to go over it there’s no guarantee it wouldn’t just slam up and impale us or something. So yeah, no thanks.” Just as he was about to inquire as to who ‘they’ were once again he noticed something more pressing: the landscape they had become familiar with was falling away, giving way to an entirely new area. 

“Uh… where are we going?”

Marceline was beginning to look uncomfortable, seeming to deliberately not look at the princess. “We’re leaving the city. Except for the Treehouse and my home there’s nothing really important there.” When pink arms encircled her waist she jumped, tensing when Bubblegum spoke. 

“That doesn’t quite tell us where we’re going, though.” 

She squirmed as if trying to pull away and failing at it miserably. “Not everything…,” she began, but seemed to fall short in knowing how to finish. While the vampire mentally flailed at trying to explain their destination Bonnibel scanned the area. All at once the strange black road terminated into thick vegetation that resembled a miles-high wall of thorns, dark brown, gnarled, and impossibly thick. The thorns themselves were easily the length of-  _ my dagger - _ a small blade, the roots they attached thicker than the princess’s arm. 

Her attempt to discern an entrance was interrupted by Jake. “Hold on guys, let’s see what’s above this place.” 

Marceline’s eyes widened. “Jake don-”

He stretched for what felt like an impossibly long time. Bonnibel tried to count the seconds, but found it became difficult the further up they went, her normally hyperactive mind almost feeling slower. She didn’t realize she had zoned out until cool, familiar arms wrapped around her, their owner whispering something in her ear that she couldn’t understand but found reassuring all the same. When she felt Jake stop she knew that it would be a simple matter to look up, to just lift her head and see what his efforts had revealed, but all at once she couldn’t find it within herself to care. She could hear Marceline talking, though whether it was to her or to someone else she couldn’t find it within herself to care either, and instead rested her head on her oldest friend’s shoulder, closing her eyes and relaxing when she felt the embrace tighten, letting her mind grow fuzzy around the edges.

By the time she snapped out of it Jake had returned to the ground, her head was in Marceline’s lap, the dog was his typical size, and three pairs of eyes were watching her, two with evident worry, the third with apology. “She’s up!” Finn grinned and helped her to sit up. “Welcome back, Peebs!” 

She blinked, rubbing her right eye with the heel of her palm. “What the flub was that, Marcy?” When she tried to stand it was shaky, but with assistance she was successful. Marceline’s response was as focused as she was on the wall of thorns. 

“Yeah, you can’t take shortcuts through that. Literally.” There was no reaction, and so she continued. “That’s a Gateway. The important structures have them, it’s to keep us all out and away from one another.” Bubblegum wanted to ask why, but the vampire was still speaking, and she wanted to encourage that behavior. “They all stop us in different ways. That one,” she pointed to the wall, as if there could possibly be a mistake as to what the topic at hand was, “messes with your mind. It looks for a way to distract you or just plain throw you out.” 

“Then why did it only affect me?” 

Finn blinked, tilting his head. “Man, you were really konked, huh? It wasn’t just you, it got all of us. Well, except Marce.” 

Jake nodded. “Yeah, I got soooo many hungries. I almost ran back to the house, but Marceline broke my leg to stop me.” 

Bonnibel shot her a look, but before she could say anything, “Before you say anything, I fixed him, he’s fine.” 

“Better! Look what I can do!” Out of politesse she watched him do a short dance, applauding slowly. 

“Yes, very nice, thank you Jake.” He bowed, and Finn went to join Marceline in front of the wall. “What happened to you, Finn?” He froze, remembering. Remember the sudden onset of panic, of despair, of _ not being able to breathe of having to watch his friends all of his friends as they had died as they had been dismembered as they bled and cried and what had- _

A feminine arm looped around his shoulders, snapping him out of his trance. “He tried to hack the thing apart. Had to pull him back before he lost his other arm. Right, Finn?” Her smirk said ‘you dolt’, but her eyes asked, ‘are you alright?’” 

He caught on immediately, putting on a bravado that only Marceline knew was false. “Heck yeah! I was gonna tear that thing up, show it who it’s dealing with!” When he slammed his fist into his chest twice demonic eyes rolled, a grey hand patronizingly patting his head. 

“Yup, you sure showed it.” After a subtle wink she turned back to Jake and Bubblegum. “So the thing about this wall here-” 

“Wait!” Jake waved his arms, as if they could possibly miss the dog. “Why didn’t it affect you?” He had expected to be yelled at, or for his comment to have started another argument, but to his surprise his friend just smiled sadly. 

“It does, Jake. I’m just… used to it.” The pause was uncomfortable, but before he could ask what happened to her she had started again. “...So, like I was saying. The thing about this wall is that it isn’t actually a wall. It’s not a physical thing anyway, it just marks when  _ that  _ happens. It’s hypnotic.”

“Can we get around it?”

“Not around it. We have to go through it.” 

Jake frowned at that response. “But how can we get through it if that junk happens?” 

“You can’t, I can. I’m going to guide us. But…”

“...But…?”

Her smirk was half mischievous, half apologetic. “You guys are gonna have to be blind.”

All three stared at her in varying degrees of disbelief. Jake was the first to speak. “Nope! No way! Not happening! Dogs like seeing, thanks!” When he tried to turn around Finn flipped him forward again. 

“There’s no other way, Marce?” 

She shook her head in what appeared to him to be sincere regret. “Sorry, guys. If you look at any part of it it’ll just do that again. And before you point it out, Bonnie, yeah, it does it to me, too. But like I said, I’ve been down here a long time. I’m more used to it.” 

Bonnibel had the good grace not to correct her grammar, and praised herself for such. Instead, “How will this work then?” 

“Basically, you guys have to keep your eyes closed the  _ entire  _ time. No peeking. At all. Ever. I can resist it, but not for a long time, and if one of you wanders off…” She trailed off on the implication of ‘you’re boned’. “I’m used to doing this journey solo. I can’t babysit three dorks.” As she explained both the princess and Finn slowly turned to Jake, staring at him knowingly. 

He blinked, lifting his paws. “Oh, so that’s how it is! Jake’s the one who’s gonna go against the system?! Be a rebel?! Is that what you think?!” His look of anger faded quickly, and he laughed. “Yeah man, that’s totally what I’d do. Alright, let’s do this.”

Finn kneeled, lowering his backpack to look through it in search of something to use as a blindfold. “Got it!” He pulled out a white cloth he had borrowed from Marceline’s kitchen, handing it to the princess, before removing his own hat for himself. With a flourish he opened the front zipper of the bag and pointed. “Alright Jake, in you go!” The dog saluted, shrinking down to divebomb into the pocket. After some slight rustling a safety pin poked itself out, which Finn took, pinning the pocket shut after zipping it for added security. When he looked up both monarchs were staring at him, baffled. He shrugged. “Not the first time Jake and I have been on an adventure where him looking at something would get us both killed.” This seemed to satisfy the princess, who was quite used to hearing the many, many stories of the duo’s adventures. 

Marceline blinked and shook her head. “Alright, whatever works for you losers.” She nodded to herself before continuing. “Okay, here are the rules.” She assisted the princess in tying her blindfold before checking that Finn’s was up to par. Once her task was complete the vampire took Bonnibel’s hand in her right, Finn’s in her left after he re-secured his bag and moved his sword clear of any part of her. “Do not let go. At all. Do not remove your blindfold. At all.” A pause, a forked tongue licking dry lips in thought. “You might hear some stuff. It can’t hurt you. You might hear nothing. Literally nothing, like not even your footsteps. That can’t hurt you either. You might hear me. Don’t listen. The me that made this gate likes to play mindgames. When we’re on the other side I’ll remove your blindfolds myself. Got it, nerds?” She waited for visual confirmation, sharply intaking and powerfully exhaling the air she didn’t need but still craved. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

Both Finn and Bonnibel felt a light tug on their hands before being pulled forward gently. They both held their breaths simultaneously, anticipating the wall of thorns and the resulting grievous injuries, but neither came and they both exhaled simultaneously. True to Marceline’s description, sound became distorted quickly. Without realizing it, Finn squeezed Marceline’s hand and was relieved when he felt her squeeze back, receiving the reassurance he hadn’t expected that he would crave. Marceline’s pace was steady but focused, one that demanded they hurry without pulling them in a rush. It betrayed her nervousness, and he didn’t blame her for being skittish. He couldn’t imagine what it was she must go through, and she was enduring it while knowing that she was responsible for her three closest friends, her stress or how much she would need to focus, what the thorns made her see or experience.  _ Jake, if you don’t stay in that pocket no more BMO. Ever. _

He had already lost track of how long they had been walking. Just as the vampire had predicted, Finn felt himself go deaf. He couldn’t hear his footsteps, his breath, the sound of his clothes rustling, or any sign of his friends; if he wasn’t still clutching a cool hand he would have been convinced he was entirely on his own. It was disorienting to walk without sound, he hadn’t realized how much you rely on the echoing of your own feet to understand how your body was moving, how it was oriented to world around you. It was an isolating, suffocating feeling, it was the sense of being absolutely-  _ abandoned. _ Every instinct cried out for him to remove his blindfold, just  _ look  _ and see for himself that he wasn’t _ lost he wasn’t in the woods alone he wasn’t abandoned that crying sound that’s all around him that’s through him that’s not him it’s just a baby it’s not like he was a baby in the woods because that’s what’s happening right now there’s crying there’s sobbing and he’s alone again- _

The hand squeezed. He squeezed back. He was beginning to understand what Marceline’s deal with silence was.

Unbeknownst to him, Bonnibel was engaged in her own mental dilemma. Whereas Finn wanted to remove his blindfold and pull away out of fear she wanted to do so out of fascination. She was in the mind of her girlfriend. The vampire had true horrors in her past, and those were just the ones the young scientist knew of. In a thousand years she had enacted genocide, had slaughtered maybe hundreds of demons in the princess’s name, lived through a literal apocalypse, watched everyone and everything she cared about die or become warped beyond recognition. What could this area possibly be showing her?

But then… for that matter what could it show  _ Bonnibel _ ? Marceline had strongly implied that this area, whatever it may be-  _ if I just take a peek I’ll know  _ -draws on a victim’s inner psyche; in order to enact torture it must implicitly know at least something about the individual. It had to have  _ something  _ to base its mental assault on. Bonnibel had to know what it thought of her, what it saw in her, what it thought could possibly break her. Because the princess knew,  _ knew,  _ that her will was iron, and yet she had fallen prey to it, passing out as Jake had run for the fridge and Finn had leapt into hero-mode. It had done something to her, and she needed to know what. If it affected her would she see something? Hear something? Both? And what kind of something? Maybe it would show her a scene from her past to drive her mad, or maybe a desire to tempt her into pulling away from the group. Maybe it would latch onto some insecurity, or just change her mind about the importance of putting her lover back together again. What would it be? She needed to know.

She needed to know  _ everything. _

Her free hand itched to take the blindfold off.  _ I’m a scientist, and this is a once-in-a-lifetime chance to learn about myself in a way I cannot possibly hope to replicate back home! I don’t need to engage in it fully, it would just be enough to see what it focuses on!  _ When the hand holding hers squeezed she ignored it.  _ Not now, Marcy!  _ Her voice sounded harsh, even in her own mind, but she had to focus and her vampire just  _ didn’t understand, couldn’t understand the hardship of being the smartest mind in Ooo, the duty she had to uncover the mysteries of the universe, no matter the risk or cost-  _

The hand squeezed again, more insistent.

_ -Because one of Marceline’s gifts, one of the ones she seemed most proud of, was just getting in the way of progress, of mucking up her research, not caring about the hard work she destroyed in her quest to be a burden- _

With great effort, Bonnibel slammed the brakes on her own thoughts. Sounds she didn’t even realize existed in the background faded, noises from her precious labyrinth of a laboratory, her machines, her creations cleared away. The background commotion she hadn’t realized she missed so much dispersed, taking the fog in her mind with them.  _ Did I… just think of her as a burden? Again?  _ Her heart sank.

This time when the hand squeezed, harder this time, she squeezed back, trying to match its strength.

It seemed like only moments later the body leading her stopped short, slamming her into it. She heard a soft ‘oof’ next to her and smiled, realizing that she could hear Finn again. Then she heard a second voice and smiled wider, only then realizing how much she missed it. “Alright dorks, take ‘em off!” She smirked.  _ Nice try, Marcy. You’re just trying to trick us.  _ There was a pause, then impish laughter which confirmed her suspicions. “Good job, you both passed. Here-” With that her blindfold came off and she blinked hard against the sudden bright light. When her eyes met her girlfriend’s, however, she felt a pang in her heart; despite the laughter her eyes were too glassy, her expression too strained. She desperately wanted to know what it was Marceline saw, and that desire mixed with her own previous dark thoughts gave her a mixture of guilt and anguish for her lover. Still, she knew that the queen would never tell her, especially in front of an audience, and immediately decided not to ask. 

When she saw Finn he was grinning, tucking his long hair back into his hat. But no sign of Jake. She pursed her lips together, scanning behind them. “Please tell me Jake didn’t leave the group.”

As she spoke Finn was playing with his backpack, unclipping the pocket. When he unzipped it he rolled his eyes. “Nah. He fell asleep. Hey Jake! Wake up!” 

From inside the backpack she heard a loud yawn, followed by a, “Breakfast time?” 

Finn rolled his eyes. “Nah, buddy, we’re- ...woah.” Finn was no longer looking in his backpack, his gaze had turned to where they were. When Bonnibel followed his eyes she paled, then quickly looked to Marceline, who was rubbing the back of her head nervously while obviously trying to look anywhere except at the princess. She had no idea how to verbalize what it was she was seeing, the many questions the sight spawned.

Fortunately, they had Jake, who stated the obvious for them, very loudly.

“DUDE! It’s the castle!”

He paused, tilting his head.

“...Sort of.”

Indeed, it was the Candy Kingdom castle, but like the Treehouse, it too was corrupted beyond measure. They stood at the castle’s base; the journey through the thorns had taken them clear into the kingdom, past where there should have been a thick, secure wall. Simultaneously, Finn, Jake, and Bonnibel turned behind them to see where they had come from. The wall of thorns still existed, but the princess could not determine its distance relative to the wall itself; the proportions seemed all wrong, too illogical to be anything except frustrating. From beyond the wall she could see what appeared to be the lifeless bodies of her Gumball Guardians, but they were too far away to see anything other than two faint, mangled outlines, glass shattered, round orbs littering what ground lay visible. On one robot the wand seemed impaled through the torso round-end south, though the other was too far away to see. She became resolute in needing to examine them after they were finished with their task.

The wall lay largely intact, though the decorations were visibly peeling, akin to poorly constructed stickers haphazardly decorated. They were faded, the light pink now almost transparent, the darker pink bleeding ink liberally into the wall, which seemed to resist absorbing it. The entrance still stood, the gate’s metal rusted so thoroughly that the spikes seemed to have disintegrated. The entrance itself was partially collapsed from what the princess suspected was disrepair; with a sickening feeling the princess realized that much of the castle looked disused, as if it had been hastily abandoned and deprived of the love and care she knew normally went into its upkeep. The inner ring hadn’t fared much better. The buildings - or what remained of them - were in gross states of disuse and largely fire damaged beyond recognition, the trees missing entirely except for their stumps. What structures remained unburnt were rotting so thoroughly that the smell was putrid, and she was confused that Jake had not said anything about it. Liquified sugar - what she hoped were not the remains of her citizens - soaked into the grey ground, forming stagnant pools above the saturated areas. The smell of thick syrup began to mix with that of the putrid rot, causing the young monarch’s stomach to lurch, and she was forced to look away.

When she saw the brothers’ horrified expressions she followed them to her castle proper.

“Hey, that’s weird.”

“What’s weird, Finn?”

“Check in, Preebs.” At some point in her examination he had retrieved his binoculars, which she took with a mixture of gratitude and dread. Still, she looked to where he was gesturing, and immediately saw what he was referring to. “None of the windows are boarded up. They’re all… exposed.” They wore matching frowns which, under any other circumstance, would had been comical, but seeing her home, the sanctuary she largely built with her own two hands, butchered in this way was both surreal and very uncomfortable.

Although the windows remained largely untouched the rest of the castle was in terrible shape. Large chunks were missing, the holes almost looking like bite marks. The normal cream coloring of the castle’s structure was now largely stained reddish-brown, especially in the areas surrounding the gnawed gaps. The stains were of varying sizes; some large enough to cover the entire wall, some small enough to cover with a tablecloth, though there seemed to be no rhyme or reason as to their placement or size, and Finn suggested they try not to think about it, or the large cracks that threatened the castle’s structural stability. Already they had done some serious damage; the left spire had completely caved in and was missing its ice cream cone top, which was neither on top of it or on the ground next to it. Instead, it had fallen and caved in most of the western wall. The right spire remained intact, except that its cone top appeared to had been almost purposefully bent so as to make the tower impale itself.

Predictably, the moats supported by her brother had run dry, and she silently hoped that even this twisted Marceline’s mind would not see fit to have a deranged version of Neddy. Above the moats every balcony appeared to be missing, as if the architect had decided that this castle had no need for them. The remaining cone tops were in varying states of decay, in some cases shingles decorating the castle walls and sides like sprinkles. Jake found himself wanting the rest to fall off.  _ Just get it over with already geeze. I don’t want those doing stuff during our big showdown! _

The castle tree, the tree that supported all life in her kingdom, had browned and become thin and twisted. While the Treehouse had featured numerous branches in place of its few strong sturdy ones these branches stayed in the same in number, but were cracked from poor nutrition, the bark flaking even as they watched. A gaping hole in the center of trunk leaked noxious and corrosive green sap, which spilled over and collected on the large ledge that circled the castle’s midway. An audible cracking noise preceded a piece of an end branch snapping, falling only to be caught by a lower branch which visibly strained under its weight. The clouds were missing entirely. In their place each branch was topped with a metal spike.  _ Oh, that explains what happened to the gate.  _ There appeared to be something impaled on each of the nine spikes, but the tree was mercifully too tall to see what.  _ Come to think of it, it’s taller than my actual tree. Hm. ...Wait.  _ At once the princess flushed a deep red, sharply inhaling in anger. Finn blinked, confused and a little afraid. “Uh… what’s up, PB?” She wordlessly handed him back his binoculars, pointing towards the tree’s trunk.” When he found what she was so miffed about his face paled. “...Huh.” He handed them to Jake, who let out a low whistle.

Carved deeply into the length of her sacred tree was an ‘M’.

Bonnibel whipped her head towards her vampire, who was still not looking at her and was about to demand an explanation when a new voice, calm and familiar, joined them from behind.

“I thought I heard Jake.”

Immediately the three turned to face the intruder, only to find themselves facing a second Marceline. Like their current Marceline she wore dark blue jeans. Unlike their first one this one had cut her hair just below her shoulders, red sneakers, and was wearing a grey t-shirt featuring a “No Smoking” sign. Curiously, she had her own, identical axe bass strapped to her back. She landed with a look of wry amusement, only to have her expression abruptly brighten. “Bonnie!” Her eyes dilated at the sight of her girlfriend and she immediately floated over, hugging her tightly. 

The princess’s reply was almost a biting question about the state of her castle, or perhaps a castigation about the overzealous hug, until she remembered the time difference between the two worlds. Instead she just smiled and hugged her back just as tightly, kissing her softly. “I missed you too, Marcy.” 

This new Marceline was about to say something when she noticed her counterpart out of the corner of her eye and smirked, addressing her without actually looking at her. “Look who finally decided to get off of our perfect butt and do something.” She placed her princess down as their first Marceline, the one called the Unifier, flushed and glared. Before she could say anything, however, their new friend redirected her attention back to the remaining trio. “When did you guys get here?” 

“Hard to tell with the time thing, but… yesterday? We got here, wandered around, found the cave, she-” Finn gestured to the Unifier “-kicked us out of the house, then-” 

She didn’t wait to hear the rest, turning to her counterpart and offering her own glare. “You kicked Bonnie out into this mess?!” 

Finn coughed, quietly whispering, ‘also Finn and Jake’. She paused, then started anew. 

“You kicked Bonnie, Finn, and Jake out into this mess?!”

“They were fine! There was nothing out there!”

“You don’t know that for sure! We have rules! Not hurting Bonnie is one of them!”   
  
“Yeah, but… rules are hard!”

“We only have, like, three of them! That’s it! This isn’t a difficult concept, even for us!”

“CHILDREN!” For the second time that day Bonnibel found herself needing to control a situation before it spiralled out of control. “I appreciate the concern, but we’re fine. She… you…” A pause. “The Unifier did a very good job taking care of us. Eventually.” Evidently, Finn realized, Marceline was not unnerved by giving herself a smug look, as the sight before him demonstrated. 

Their new Marceline sighed in resignation. “Fine. If you say so. So, I take it our fearless leader has you guys filled in on what’s happening with this?” She gestured to the castle with her thumb. 

Finn nodded. “Yeah. You have, like, three Big Baddie yous?” 

Marceline stopped and waited, then frowned when he didn’t continue. “...That it?” He nodded and she groaned. “Well, that’s part of it. Yeah, there are three ‘Big Baddies’. They all hate each other. Well, one of them is squatting in the castle.” She gave Bonnibel an apologetic look, eyes darting to the tree briefly before she continued. “I’ve been keeping an eye on her, but she’s not coming out, so we’re going to have to deal with her.”

“We wouldn’t have to deal with her, except  _ you  _ let her live.”

“I told you then, I’m telling you now, I’m not ganking anyone unless you’re going to take their part of the soul!”

“Oh come on, she’s psychotic! Just gank her!”

“She’s just as much a part of us as we are!”

As the two fought Finn’s grin grew. “Wow, Marce, so even though she’s basically evil you won’t end her unless you know she’s just gonna be you again?” He didn’t wait for confirmation. “So you’re a good guy!”

The fighting stopped abruptly, Marceline turning away from the Unifier to address Finn. For several moments they only stared at one another, Finn elated that there was some part of the vampire queen that had true good within her, the vampire queen in question’s expression blank. When she spoke it was a flat, “...What.” 

He ignored the clear disapproval in her voice. “Yeah! You’re trying to put yourself back together again, but you don’t actually want to perma-gank anyone to do it. You’re trying to save everyone, like a good guy-”

“Finn. Let’s get something very clear. Even at our very best we’re not a good guy. I know because I am  _ literally  _ us at our best, and I’m. Not. A. Good. Guy.” She turned to leave.

“...But you want to be.”

She stopped, staring ahead of her. She did nothing for several long moments, not even blink, before floating off for the mangled side of the castle. “...Come on.” The Unifier’s expression was unreadable to Finn, but she followed after her other self. Jake trailed the two, shooting Finn a knowing grin that made his agreement clear. When Bonnibel went to join the four she gave the boy a kiss on the cheek first, causing him to blush deeply. He caught up to the group, just catching the end of a conversation between both Marcelines, spoken quietly and clearly not intended for any other ears.

“You didn’t bring-”

“No, of course not, I’m not stupid-”

“Good, because we can’t-”

Not wanting to listen in too long, he loudly cleared his throat. “So what’s the plan, ladies?”

They stopped before a nondescript part of the wall. Nondescript, of course, except for Marceline and Bonnibel. The Unifier crossed her arms, leaning against the wall. “Real talk, guys. I don’t know if we can beat her. She’s mondo strong, I’m powerless, and this one-” she nodded to their floating friend “-is probably the weakest of us.” Finn immediately prepared to defend her but, to his surprise, she nodded. 

“No, she’s right. I’m a pretty small part of our mindjunk comparatively.” 

Finn smirked knowingly. “Yeah, but it’s not just you two. PB hasn’t got a weapon, but Jake and I do this kind of biz all the time. And look!” He flipped around, showing off his backside. “Demon blood sword!” 

Marceline backed away slowly. “Hey, that’s great guy, let’s just keep that thing  _ away  _ from the two demons in the group, yeah?” 

He blushed slightly, turning back. “Oh. Right. Sorry.” 

“S’okay.”

Jake suddenly had a thought. “Hey, you’re floating.” Both Marcelines exchanged a look, then began slowly applauding him. “No, I mean. How can we make her-” he jutted his thumb at the Unifier “-float too?” 

Marceline blinked, then tilted her head. “If she ganks one of us she gets a power back.” 

The Unifier suddenly looked interested. “Yeah, speaking of which, what are you going to give me?” 

Marceline shrugged. “Flying?”

“Cool… you wanna give that to me now?”

Bonnibel blinked at the exchange. “ _ That’s  _ how you get your powers back? And you can  _ pick _ ?” 

The Unifier coughed. “...Yes?” She smiled cautiously in the face of very pink wrath, but was spared the full brunt by Jake. 

“No, seriously, what’s the plan?” 

Marceline pointed to the spot on the wall her counterpart was leaning against. “If we launch a direct attack on where she is we’ll be toast. She’s in the throne room, and it was built specifically to resist a direct attack. So, we’re going in through here. We’re going to make our way up through the castle-” 

“And kick her butt?” 

At that both vampire queens exchanged an uneasy look. It was a look Bonnibel knew all too well, the look that screamed that Marceline knew something she wasn’t telling. The princess narrowed her eyes, and both knew they were caught. “That isn’t all of it.”  _ At least they have the good sense to look guilty.  _ “Marceline. Either of you. The Unifier told us that the three strongest Marcelines are the three most dominant aspects of her personality.” She paused for effect. “Why, exactly, is she so strong?”

No sooner had the young scientist finished her demand-not-a-question Marceline threw her hands up, quickly declaring, ‘not it’. The Unifier glared at her other self, squirming under piercing green eyes. “Well… remember how we agreed that my dominant emotion is rage?” Silence befell the group as the weight of that rhetorical question sank in. “...Yeah.”

Finn placed his chin in his hand, frowning. “Yeah, that does explain why you guys couldn’t gank her on your own. Rage, huh?” He looked to Jake, who shrugged. He shrugged back. “Well, let’s do this thing. So, how are we getting in? It’s not like I’ve ever needed to sneak into the throne room before!” He laughed nervously, eyes darting, fooling absolutely nobody. 

“We’re going in this way.” Just as the Unifier moved away from the wall Marceline punched through it. The cracking of her hand was audible as bones dislocated from their joints. Fortunately, the fractures were simple and nothing broke the skin; Marceline didn’t seem to notice as her flesh mended itself back together. As the group cleared away the rubble a hallway was revealed, dark, decrepit, and achingly familiar to exactly 60% of the group. 

Jake poked his head in, then looked back. “So… where does this go?” Bonnibel answered before either half-demon could.

“The lab.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Killed:
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Alive:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	7. Treason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOTS OF NOTES OH BOY!
> 
> Real Talk: Remember how I said that kudos, bookmarks, and comments makes multi-chapter stories big and strong? Well, you guys came through for me, so I hope you enjoy this MASSIVE chapter! Extra-special thanks to a certain other author who always takes the time to send me their comments/reviews after each chapter.
> 
> Fair warning though, nothing is happy here. Really.
> 
> One thing I'm going to note going forward is that at this point in time there may be references to my other stories in Rehearsal. So, if something is referenced that you're like, "woah, that didn't happen", it's probably from another one of my stories. This is not to plug my own work, but because I keep all of my stories within the same continuity/universe, and I'm going to use that to my advantage. However, I will not be labelling which stories are being referenced in advance, because part of the fun of writing for me is not blatantly stating the timeline my stories exist in.
> 
> Fun fact: The song referenced in this chapter is "99 Luftballons" by Nena because, come on, it's super apropos.
> 
> Last thing! I don't normally do this, but I'm going to make an author recommendation. If you use FanFiction net at all (even if you don't), go look up the author Plesiosaur. Their writing was a big part of the reason I decided to end my 10-year writing hiatus, so go give their work some love; they're a fantastic storyteller and they're one of the best AU authors I've ever seen for Bubbline. If you want a recommendation start with the Foundlings trilogy.
> 
> Content warnings:
> 
> Graphic Violence  
> World (castle?) Building  
> Implied Psychological Torture  
> A Wild Marceline Appears!  
> Someone is Hoisted with Her Own Petard (it's exactly who you think)  
> Fatality  
> Feels

 

“Hold up.”

Jake’s statement was unnecessary. The wall had been breached, the hallway that would lead them to the castle’s laboratory lay before the group, but no one had seen fit to move. The gateway to the next stage of their journey reminded the five too much of when their adventure first began, the moment the trip had gone from abstract plan to concrete destiny. Until this point Finn, Jake, and Bonnibel had dealt exclusively with more-or-less friendly Marcelines; granted, one had evicted them from her home into a disturbing and strange world, but even she had come around to reluctantly agree to possibly maybe go home. Point being, neither the Unifier nor this new Marceline had actually tried to harm any of them beyond the realm of what was typical of Marceline when whole.

Now things were different. Just like when the group of the then-four had gathered in Bubblegum’s defunct spy room, they stood on the cuspice of the next stage, the next level as Jake had called it when Marceline first punched through the castle’s outer wall. This was the point of no-return, the moment when they fulfilled their vow to save their friend, the juncture they would go from a group of misfits to true heroes. Somewhere within this castle they would find a third Marceline, and this one was no ally. If her counterparts were to be believed - and why wouldn’t they be? - she was the embodiment of the vampire’s rage itself, and boy was she full of that. Both Marcelines had made it abundantly clear that this disproportionate section of the queen’s psyche meant she was immensely strong, but they knew little about her except that she would have no reluctance to gank all of them.

To make matters worse this false Candy Kingdom castle was unsettling. Although not Candy citizens per se Jake and his brother had practically grown up within its walls as the kingdom’s heroes, its ruler’s champions. It was a consistent, reliable landmark that never deviated from Bonnibel’s desires, courtesy of the princess’s obsession with maintaining strict control. The cause of the unease was not solely because of the castle’s outside appearance, it was the knowledge that someone other than Bubblegum had radically altered it, that it had been molested by an interloper who likely experienced no remorse for her actions. If anything, she would probably take delight in seeing the duo’s discomfort, the vampires’ disquiet, and Bonnibel’s palpable fury at her home being violated.

“So, what exactly are we dealing with here?” 

Finn caught on quickly. “Yeah dudettes. What’s the castle like? What’s this evil-Marcy like?” 

The two exchanged a look. Ever since they ruptured the barrier neither vampire had been able to meet Bonnibel’s eyes, equally pained by her mixed expression of fury and sadness. It was true that neither had a direct hand in mutilating her home, but it was hard to ignore that they did have an indirect influence. While the Unifier had been largely indifferent towards her predicament prior to the arrival of her friends and girlfriend, and this new Marceline seemed to just want her counterpart to do her job and make them whole again, it could not be denied that the invader who was squatting in Bonnibel’s greatest accomplishment was equally a part of them. The implication was clear to them; this entire ordeal would only be possible if some part of the whole Marceline harbored spiteful feelings towards the Kingdom, held some secret desire to tear the place apart, corrupt it beyond recognition. There was no other explanation for the level of vitriol evident in the actions of this chaotic Marceline.

This was as baffling as it was heartbreaking for the two half-demons. Whole Marceline had played no small part in the castle’s creation. It would be an exaggeration to say that there would be no kingdom without her, but, realistically, the princess herself would be a radically different person. Ironically, the queen’s blatant demonic tendencies had helped keep the candy golem’s own dark streak in check. The pair’s bond had been founded in part because the princess had found in the rockstar what she had found in herself, seen not only her darkness but her drive and devotion reflected in another soul. It hadn’t mattered that Marceline was a vampire and half-demon besides, or that Bonnibel was an egotistical megalomaniac, nor that the former relied on the might of her arm and the latter on the strength of her mind. Whereas Finn had seen only differences the couple saw only similarities. They were unique to one another in being able to differentiate between what the other wanted and needed, and it was for this reason that, no matter how severe a fight or long a separation, the two would always find one another again.

Marceline was flighty and prone to avoiding her problems. She relied on brute force and often lacked sympathy for others. She was a prankster and a trickster, someone who failed to grasp concepts such as “consequences” and “forethought”, and relied on her natural charisma to avoid paying for her actions. She would spend a lifetime denying it, but these were all symptoms of craving a guiding hand, one that understood and encouraged her playful nature while holding her accountable. Bonnibel kept her from floating away, knew when to give the vampire her freedom and when to reel her in before she hurt herself or someone else. She was the older woman’s rock, something to focus her turbulent nature. The princess shared her iron will, and while she could be harsh and, at times, neglectful she was also stability and affectionate in her own way; they would never exchange platitudes, but the younger woman would be there after every outburst and loss of control to help pick up her pieces and put her back together again. Marceline needed a place to call ‘home’, and she found it not within the castle walls but within the princess herself.

To call Bonnibel Bubblegum a control-freak would be a gross understatement. She was manipulative, calculating, and shrewd. Empathy and compassion did not come naturally to her, though she was quite convincing in faking them. She considered her ability to deceive to be a personal strength, her perfectionism a sign of her innate superiority. Even her attempts to relax were tainted by her desire to display her strength, especially her intellect. She would spend a lifetime denying it, but these were all symptoms of needing someone immune to her overbearing nature, something that she couldn’t break. Marceline kept her from turning on herself, made sure she maintained some form of moral compass, even if it was bent. She could see the small details the princess could not, knew the obvious problems in her clever plans that were invisible to an over-analytical mind. Marceline was mercurial, but she was also impossibly loyal to those who earned it, and no matter how hard the candy woman pushed the vampire just wouldn’t budge; even when she had abandoned her to focus on her kingdom Marceline still existed in the background, watching over her home and protecting her from herself. She would never share Bonnibel’s intellectual thirst, but she was the only one who knew her well enough to coax her out of her lab in favor of a midnight picnic. In her over 800 years of life the one person the scientist found she could trust was the heir of the Nightosphere.

Inevitably, Bonnibel would self-destruct and need someone to contain the blast, and Marceline would fall apart and need someone to hold her and assure her that everything would be okay.

Separately they were powerful, together they were devastating. And now both Marcelines had to watch the carefully restrained heartbreak in piercing green eyes, knowing with revulsion that some deep part of them wanted this. Now that deep part of them had a mind of its own and needed to be both confronted and destroyed. The Unifier couldn’t begin to imagine the conversation that this incident would spawn when this incident was resolved. This was a betrayal plain and simple, and although Bonnibel could be underhanded at times she had never stooped so low as to betray the vampire. With a pained expression Marceline opened her mouth to say something to their girlfriend, only to close it again when the Unifier placed her hand on her shoulder and shook her head sadly. This would need to be addressed, but now was not the time.

They had a psychopath to stake.

Marceline sighed deeply, closing her eyes before opening them to focus on the group, trying not to stare at her heartbroken lover. “Alright guys, real talk. If this was a movie or a game the ragebeast would be big, slow, and stupid. She isn’t. She’s fast, shapeshifts constantly, and she plays mind games. Powerful like woah, mondo unstable, and she really,  _ really  _ doesn’t like-” Out of the corner of her eye she saw a warning glance from the Unifier, unnoticed by all except Jake, who raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment. “...Us. She doesn’t like us.” 

Finn frowned, “Does she know we’re here?” 

“I doubt it, but no way to tell.” A brief pause followed. “If she doesn’t don’t tell her. We don’t know what she’ll do.” As she said this she gave Bubblegum a side glance, and both Finn and Jake understood immediately what she meant, one paw being slammed into another. 

“Alright, let’s go put her out of her misery!” Finn raised a questioning eyebrow, causing the dog to grin. “The misery we’re gonna put her through!” That made Finn grin back, and the two shared a fistbump.

“Yeah guy! It’s vampire fighting time!” Realizing there were two vampires in the group he quickly amended his declaration. “...It’s evil vampire fighting time! We’ve got a stake, we’ve got a demon blood sword, we’ve got two rad bros, two bombastic half-demons, and a mad scientist! Nothing could possibly go wrong!”

No one had the heart to tell him that everything could possibly go wrong.

With newfound confidence he peaked into the castle’s makeshift entrance. “So what’s the inside like? Bright and reassuring?” 

Marceline shook her head. “To be real, I’m not sure. I’ve never gone inside.” When Jake gave her a confused look she mistook it for a disgruntled one and sighed at her admission. “She’s way stronger than me. I’m not stupid enough to pick a fight with an enemy who doesn’t feel things like remorse or empathy. Even if she is technically me. She could tear this world apart.” 

Finn frowned and asked the obvious question, “Why hasn’t she? Is she-” 

The Unifier didn’t give him the chance to finish. “Once we get clear of the lab things are going to get bad. She loves mind games. You know, a ‘sick glee from playing with her food’ kinda thing.” 

Marceline blinked and looked at her, suddenly alarmed. “The lab… you don’t think-” 

“Yeah, I thought of that, too.” 

“It’ll probably be fine.” 

“Totally. Still…” 

Understanding exactly where her concerned train of thought was leading her, Marceline turned to Bonnibel, who had taken to silently staring at the gaping wound in what was supposed to be her castle. “Bon… you shouldn’t go first.” 

Her response was a flat, “Why.” 

Strangely, it was Jake with the insight both Marcelines were too uncomfortable to voice. “She doesn’t like the princess, does she?” All non-vampiric eyes shot to the dog, who shrugged. “Pretty obvs if you think about it. Look at how messed up the kingdom is.” Green eyes turned, piercing into both vampires, a silent demand for confirmation. 

Whereas Marceline looked away the Unifier was a bit braver. But only a bit. “Yeah. She’s got a beef with you. It’s how we know she doesn’t know we’re here.” The clear subtext: Or she’d already be down here to kick our butts. 

“Yeah, I got that. Thanks.” 

She winced at the harsh tone, conflicted in knowing that the cause of her acridity was simultaneously both her fault and not her fault. She didn’t need a submissive component to know to back off. Wanting a quick redirection, away from the cold glint in the eyes she loved so much, Marceline nodded to the makeshift entrance. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.” She started, then stopped, turning to address the group as a whole. “Stay together. Remember, she wants us to panic, wants to gunk up our minds. Finn, Jake, keep your weapons ready. She works alone, but that doesn’t mean… well, we just don’t know what’s in there. Keep an eye on each other.” 

Finn quickly drew his sword, almost hitting the Unifier in his haste. She glared at him, and he offered a meek, “Sorry Marce.” 

Jake already had his stake at the ready, and although he looked ready to use it on the surface below his fur he was trembling. He never did quite overcome his sanguivoriphobia, and when his brother put a reassuring hand on his shoulder he jumped, then coughed. “Just. You know. Heightened dog reflexes, you wouldn’t understand.” 

The Unifier rolled her eyes. “Well, I’m bored, let’s go.” 

“Wait.” Marceline stuck out her arm in front of her, stopping her. “You need to stay in the middle with Bonnie.” 

Demonic eyes narrowed. “What the fudge?! It’s not like I’m powerless” 

Apparently used to her own intimidating techniques, Marceline crossed her arms. “You are, though. But nuts to that-” Jake snickered, whispering ‘buttnuts’. “-You’re the only one of the eight of us that can eat souls. If you bite it we can’t become whole.” Her eyes shot briefly to Bonnibel, and the Unifier immediately understood what she meant; Finn and Jake were accomplished heroes, but Bonnie was already suffering enough. She may have detached from reality as a safety mechanism but she had yet to voice a change of heart about bringing Marceline - Whole Marceline - back to Ooo, and the components had done enough damage on their own already. They exchanged a look that obviously said, “We owe her”, even to the brothers. 

“...Fine. Middle. Whatever.” 

Satisfied with her counterpart’s reluctance Marceline floated inside, followed by Jake, Bonnibel, the Unifier, then Finn to cover their butts. “Wouldn’t it make most sense to have PB go first? I mean, her cast-” 

Marceline didn’t wait for Finn to finish the sentence, not wanting to remind her girlfriend of the situation. “The Unifier and I know the castle just as well. We helped build it.” 

He blinked, clearly not expecting that. “...Oh. Natch.”

The group had come to the consensus outside of the castle that they should be ready for whatever horrors lay within the faux Candy Kingdom castle walls. What they hadn’t prepared for was the interior secret pathway appearing largely unchanged. Like the main entrance, the secret entrance’s walls were solid stone, almost as dark as the stone floor, though unlike the main hallway these walls were smooth, free of the imperfect jutting rocks that threatened to wang two young heroes with the nasty tendency to run blindly through it. In the dim light it was impossible to see what color they were exactly, but no one seemed that curious. As Jake quickly realized, however, there were faint, odd rust-colored stains on the floor that reminded him of the totally-not-blood stains found in the Nightosphere’s ground. Nothing abundant, but noticeable nonetheless. It was only in trace amounts, and were the elder brother not obsessed with scoping the surroundings in fear of the unknown they would have been missed entirely. Noticing his nervousness Marceline smirked knowingly, “Don’t worry. It’s probably mine.” She eyed Bonnibel, but the tongue-in-cheek joke was either unnoticed or ignored; she was walking at a determined pace, clearly not caring whether or not the group was keeping up, which they quickly did, not wanting to lose her.

Finn, who was perhaps the most sensitive to the world’s corruption, was unnerved by the lack of change in decor.  _ Marce knows this tunnel exists. No way she forgot about it. Vampires don’t forget bupkiss.  _ That was when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. “Guys, look!” He pointed up to the top of the left wall, where the top met the side. There was a camera pointed squarely at them. It looked new and entirely free of rust or any other damage, despite it plainly being metal. Even the lens was intact. 

The Unifier stopped walking and stared at it. “Huh. That’s new.” She turned to Bonnibel, addressing her for the first time since arriving in the kingdom. “Bon, are those cameras new?” The princess didn’t respond, utterly focused with progressing the group, and she winced at the subtle rejection. She lowered her voice to a whisper, “Come on, Finn.” Seeing the poorly concealed pain in her eyes he dropped the topic entirely, joining her to catch up to the others.

In truth, the journey to the laboratory was a short one; the path hadn’t been designed to slow down an intruder, only one creature knowing of its existence or even how to enter it. Its original purpose was to allow the vampire consort easy access to the princess during the kingdom’s early days, when she was prone to being consumed with work for days at a time, even longer than was typical in the modern-day. Only the rockstar was allowed access to the scientist’s sanctuary on principle, and even that was reserved for very specific purposes. Especially at the onset of their relationship, Bubblegum had been fascinated by the vampire’s physiology, and the undead monarch often found herself as a test subject, a fascinating specimen, and given the otherwise winding and difficult route she had seen fit to give her courtier a shortcut. In the kingdom’s some five centuries standing no one else had ever tried to use the passage. Not that they would get far; citizen or not, Marceline would be happy to make anyone ‘disappear’ if they disturbed her princess. 

When they reached the end of the hallway the second curiosity of the journey made itself apparent. The thick steel door was entirely intact, without even a scratch of damage. Unlike the rest of the hallway the door was a thick steel, also free of rust. It was dense enough to resist even the vampire’s immense strength for a considerable amount of time. This was by design, in case the half-demon ever turned on her girlfriend and the scientist was forced to take refuge in her workshop. Bonnibel had originally planned to lace the door with silver, but the flaw in her plan, oddly enough, was noticed by Marceline. If something happened to the not-yet-royal in her laboratory, if some enemy had invaded unseen, the queen would need to be able to get to her, which would be impossible with the silver present. Impressed by her uncharacteristic forethought Bubblegum had relented the point, instead constructing an entryway that would be passable when sealed, even if it would take some time to be so. This door was identical to its actual counterpart, with one key difference; it featured a lock with no keyhole. 

Not waiting for permission the Unifier ripped the lock free, then tapped on the door. “Yup. Still a door.” 

“My turn.” Marceline clenched her fist and punched the door at full force. This created a tiny dent, but the sound of her hand breaking was more distracting. It was a sickening *crunch* as the small bones of her right hand gave way under the force of the strike, easily separating from one another. It quickly began to swell, but this faded within moments as ancient bones set themselves, reattaching without aid, eliminating the need for the surrounding structures to swell to insure they remained stationary. Marceline gave no indication that she even felt the pain, though Jake did wince from the sound. She was too focused on frowning at the door, soon giving up in favor of turning to Bonnibel. “Bon, do you-” Once again the princess ignored her vampire, instead directing her attention to the right side of the door. She ran a pink hand down the smooth stone, stopping seemingly at random before pushing slightly. It immediately gave way, revealing a touch-tone keypad. It was large and grey, possessing letters, numbers, shapes, and odd characters none of the rest of the group recognized. There was no hesitation on her part; she knew exactly what to press to accomplish her goal. Finn noticed both Marcelines held the same look of surprise.  _ So not only did they not know about this secret… but Peebles let her break her hand before revealing it?  _ He blinked.  _ She must be maaaaad mad.  _ From within the door itself the five heard a *thunk* of what they mutually assumed to be its inner locking mechanism before it silently slid open.

The smell was overpowering, even without sensitive noses. It was the odor of death and blood, the stench of rot mixed with decay. Jake groaned in disgust, once again using his fur as a mask for his snout. The Unifier gagged and covered her nose as her counterpart felt her eyes water, lamenting that she could even taste it in the air. Finn was already digging in his backpack for the white cloth he had previously let Bonnibel use as a blindfold when they passed through the Thorn Gate, but, strangely, she seemed all but immune to the nauseating stench and ignored it entirely. Wordlessly, she entered the new room and took stock of the sight before her, pursing her lips with a soft, “Hm.” Noticing the available cloth laying so vulnerably in Finn’s hand the Unifier acted quickly, snatching it to use as a filter, sticking her tongue out at her counterpart before following their estranged lover. Marceline shook her head in irritation at what was essentially her own antics before following unaided, trailed by Jake and Finn, who was using his own hat in his desperation. 

Eyes widened as they viewed the interior of the room, Jake shrinking and diving into Finn’s bag before he could return it to his back, closing the zipper for him with a loud, “Nope!”

The interior of Princess Bubblegum’s laboratory - the real laboratory - was no secret to any member of the group. Marceline had spent a collective hundreds of years equal parts playing and/or being a nuisance for the princess, keeping her company while also actively hindering her work, sometimes meaning to, sometimes not. Finn and Jake had both been in her lab several times and, while not as familiar with it as their vampiric friend, knew it well enough to understand its general layout; fully equipped, it featured almost half a dozen steel beds - restraints included, of course, though Finn and Jake didn’t need to know that - over a dozen tables scattered across the room, a well-used chalkboard on the south side, now blank, countless browning cabinets and drawers lining the walls, and a large all-purpose sink in the northwest corner that she kept sterile at all times. One small window above it acted as the only outlet to the outside world, and she predictably kept it locked at all times. On an isolated table in the middle of the room sat a massive computer, often flanked by books or stacks of papers, usually full of chemical formulas or other cyphers indecipherable to anyone not made of candy and also royalty. Further unbeknownst to the brothers, one of the tables featured restraints lined with silver.

This laboratory was a horror show, disturbing in its grotesqueness that Finn and Jake as a mockery of the scientific achievements the young monarch had accomplished. Both Marcelines and Bonnibel were disturbed for an entirely different reason: It was as if all of the scientist’s sins, all of her machinations, all of her mutilations were being lay bare before her, ensuring a captive audience as a cruel mockery of her secretive and clandestine nature. The Unifier resisted the urge to reach out to her lover, to make some comment that she had, in truth, not thought through but could not jeopardize exposing the validity of the room’s contents before the heroic duo, could not risk revealing the candy woman’s true nature. Her counterpart took it upon herself to watch Finn out of the corner of her eye, watching for any signs that he might understand, truly understand that what he was seeing was not made from nothing; it was reflecting the mentality of a woman with a dark streak that, under the right circumstances, could put even the heir of the Nightosphere’s to shame. 

Fortunately, Finn had missed the connection entirely. “Woah. The corruption even got  _ inside  _ the palace? Sick!” 

From within the bag came a muffled, “Then why wasn’t the hallway wrong?” 

The Unifier frowned, tearing her gaze from Bonnibel to scan the room now that the initial shock had worn off. An interesting side effect of her relationship with the princess was that she had grown jaded against such scenes, recovering from her shock far quicker than was reasonable for a good soul. Marceline, on the other hand, seemed a bit more uncomfortable and took Jake’s question as an opportunity to look anywhere else. “Because she wanted to lead us into a false sense of security. She wanted our guards down.” 

“It worked!” 

“Yeah, thanks Jake.” If he replied she didn’t hear it; she was scanning the room as well now, taking in the exhibition before her with a sinking feeling in her chest.

The floor had been converted and was now sheer steel, a large rusted grate prominently displayed in its center. The color of the laboratory walls was completely unrecognizable at this point; they were covered in rust. The sink had begun to warp, the ‘hot’ handle broken off at the base, the tap bent forward until unusable, the dry sink clogged with an unidentifiable substance that seemed to be the source of the smell, though no one volunteered to check. Out of habit, Marceline glanced towards the window. Or where the window should have been; instead she found only more wall, as if it had never existed in the first place. Most of the cabinets featured deep cracks, as if they had collapsed under a heavy burden, and most cabinets had had their doors ripped off at the hinges - also rusted - nowhere to be found. Only two cabinets and one drawer remained intact, the rest of the drawers having been ripped out, rendered splinters on the floor. Curiously, what cabinets remained were their original white, while the one drawer was an accurate brown. As the group took stock of the rest of the laboratory Finn went to examine the three, demon sword secure in his remaining arm.

Of the original dozen steel beds only four remained intact, the rest relegated to scrap metal lining the floor, as if torn apart in a fit of- “Rage,” the Unifier whispered. No one heard her save for her counterpart, who frowned in understanding before beginning her own exploration of the surviving tables. She found them to be in immaculate condition, save for the restraints. Previously, only one of the tables featured four-point restraints, and that was the table lined with silver, the princess not anticipating working with any creature more dangerous than her girlfriend without it being appropriately sedated. Marceline stopped that train of thought right there, satisfied that all beds now featured restraints. Cautiously, she placed the back of her hand to all sixteen, but found them to be mercifully free of the deadly metal. She wasn’t sure if she should be happy about this discovery or disturbed that she was almost happy about this discovery. Refusing to think about that either she trailed after Bubblegum, who noted with curiosity that her computer was both entirely untouched and on, though the screen appeared black. Before she could test it, however, Finn called for his friends to join him at the cabinets with such fervor that even Jake emerged from his hiding place. “What’s up, buddy?”

He held up a small, black book with a deep, stylized green crackle pattern, smaller even than his notebook. It was tattered, held closed by a green and black cord that seemed attached to the back cover. It was wrapped around the book several times, then tucked into the loops in an effort to keep it closed. When they saw it the Unifier’s eyes widened in recognition and Bonnibel raised an eyebrow. Jake grinned, rubbing his paws together. “Open it open it open it!” 

Finn shook his head sadly. “Can’t, bro. I tried. String won’t come undone.” 

Jake scowled. “Don’t let a piece of string push you around!” He grabbed it and pulled the string, which began to unwrap. His grin was smug until he realized that it just kept unwrapping, circling the book without actually unravelling it to allow access. He narrowed his eyes at it as if this were a purposeful sleight against him. When he began to pull it with his teeth Marceline snatched it away, handing it wordlessly to Bonnibel, who wordlessly dropped it in her bag. Jake whined loudly. “Come on, man! It’s not like it’s a diary or something!” Both Marcelines just stared at him silently, and his eyes and grin grew with sudden understanding. “OH MAN! You can’t just take that away! I just want a peak! Just enough to read the whole thing!” He reached for the messenger bag, but a glare from the princess made him rethink his clever plan and he shrank back. She turned and silently returned to the computer.

Finn stroked his chin, eyes narrowed in concentration. “What would Marce’s diary be doing in PB’s lab?” 

The Unifier balked at him. “Finn. It’s still my mind.” 

“Yeah, but it’s her lab.” 

“It’s still my mind!” 

From the computer area, Bonnibel spoke her first words in quite some time. “Yeah, speaking of which…” The sound immediately demanded the group’s attention, and when they turned they found a pink hand pointing at the screen. The text was both simple and confusing:

**You’re guilty, but that’s alright, I’m guilty too**

They stared at it in bafflement for several long moments before Jake threw his arms in the air. “That’s it, I’m outta here. Princess, how do I go outta here?” Fortunately for the dog the candy golem shared his sentiment and directed him to the opposite wall, which hid the secret passage that connected her laboratory to her private rooms. Although she was loathe to share its existence with anyone other than her vampire that was a problem for later. A madwoman had made  _ her  _ throne room her lair, and the passageway was the quickest way to her, Bonnibel’s private rooms being on the opposite end of the hallway, an architectural decision to assure she could begin her royal duties as swiftly as possible. They would otherwise need to take a winding path around the castle, and she was not above admitting that she was too driven to take her revenge. No matter the vampire’s appearance that squatter was not her Marceline, and she had no desire to restrain her wrath.

Like the door leading into the laboratory the door leading out of it and into her private rooms was also hermetically sealed, only able to be open either through a lot of brute force or through the princess’s ingenuity in the form of a keypad. Unlike the first keypad, however, this one served a secondary purpose. Unknown to all except for her and the queens the hall that connected both rooms was littered with traps designed to injure, maim, or kill intruders, and only she and the queens knew the secrets to disable and/or avoid them.  _ Now I need to redesign everything.  _ She frowned deeply as she drew out the keyboard. On autopilot Marceline moved to stand behind Bonnibel, her back towards her, blocking the view from Finn and Jake. It was unnecessary, however; Jake had become consumed with trying to demand the Unifier spill the secrets of her journal, and Finn had become burdened with trying to break the two up. The door opening snapped the three out of it, and when the scientist pointed they obediently fell in line...

“Bonnie. Wait.” ...Until Marceline put her hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder, stopping her exit. She and the Unifier held a quick, silent conversation with a single glance, the latter leading the two mortals down the hallway, towards the room. When Bonnibel turned she seemed annoyed that her progress was being interrupted, and while Marceline’s first instinct was to ride out her storm she knew they were approaching their goal, with no way of knowing what would happen once they reached their wayward self; there would be a vicious fight, that much was obvious, but nothing else could be said with certainty, except for one thing. It was this Marceline’s destiny to die, if not in this battle than perhaps the next, or the one after that, and she couldn’t rely on the Unifier to handle this situation with any form of grace or tact. After all, she had already shoved their friends into the corruption without a second thought and, if Finn was to be believed, almost refused to let them back in. Perhaps absorbing herself would grant her insight, but she couldn’t risk not resolving this situation. If nothing else, it would be a dangerous distraction.

The princess did nothing to hide her look - and tone - of annoyance. “What, Marceline?” The vampire winced. Her lover had reached a state of mind best described as ‘clinically detached’, and it was without a doubt the worst possible mindset. Right now she was not a girlfriend, she was the blocker of progress, the hinderer of advancement, little more than a burden. It was the most painful way for the half-demon to be regarded, made worse by the knowledge that Bubblegum had absolutely no understanding of how harmful it really was. Marceline knew more than anyone that the candy golem had to work harder than most to emphasize with others, found it too easy to be consumed by a project. And this was not only a project, it was an affront to her personally, and knowing that some part of her was the cause of her distress was a special kind of torture.

“Bon…” Unfortunately, she had not thought through what she was going to say when she finally had a moment alone with her mate, and struggled with putting her guilt into words, ironic given her chosen hobby and profession. She sighed. “To be honest, I don’t know what to say right now. I can’t…” She paused, searching for any signs of compassion in piercing green eyes. She found none. “I know a part of me did… all of this. But… it’s not all of me. I don’t want this. She,” she gestured down the hallway, towards her other self, “doesn’t want this.” 

Finally, that elicited a response. A hard one. “But some part of you did, Marceline, or this wouldn’t have happened. You wouldn’t have manifested my castle in the first place, and you certainly wouldn’t have allowed all of this to happen.” She winced again; it was all true, even she couldn’t deny it, but Bonnibel wasn’t finished. “What am I supposed to think, knowing that some part of the person I trusted wanted to destroy everything I created?” 

The undead monarch’s voice was strained. “Bonnie, did you forget? I helped create it, too. You would have done it without me, but, still… I was there. And I want to fix this. We both do.” She paused to let her declaration sink in before continuing. “You saw the Unifier before this. She didn’t want anything to do with me, or any of the others. But she’s here now because  _ you  _ want her to be. She doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do; if she did we would have worked together a long time ago to stop the psychopath. I tried everything I could think of but she wouldn’t budge. Then you guys came and found us, and you did what I couldn’t. Now you’re all here. Not all of us want to be a monster, Bon. You know that better than anyone.”

Finally, her gaze softened, because Marceline was right. The princess knew that as much as the older woman revelled in her demonic heritage she could also be loving and gentle, could use her amazing strength to protect rather than destroy. Just as much as a part of her wanted to destroy everything Bonnibel had created other parts wanted to stop her.  _ I’m not being fair to her. She did this, but she wants to make amends for her transgression. Still, though…  _ “Marceline, I know that you don’t want any of this, but you yourself said that she’s stronger than you because she’s a bigger part of you. Logically, the part of you that must want to rectify this must be small. How can I trust that this is what you really want?” 

The response was quiet and pained. “You’ve never treated me like the monster I could be. Why are you starting now, when that monster isn’t even part of me?” 

Bubblegum regarded her sadly, taking cool grey hands into her own warm pink ones. “Marcy…” She ran her thumb over her girlfriend’s wrist, noting how tense she was, how she hadn’t been able to meet her eye, the pained tone in her voice. Whatever being had ruined her home, this wasn’t her. “It’s alright, Marcy. I know this isn’t your fault.” When she pulled her vampire into a hug the vampire readily returned it. “We’ll need to have a conversation about this... manifestation of-”  _ wanton destruction “ _ -your inner psyche when we bring you home, but for now we have to stop her first.” Her smile was soft, Marceline’s relieved, and Bubblegum was pleased when this version of her paramour did nothing to contest the goal of bringing her back to Ooo. When the princess interlaced their fingers and tugged her towards the tunnel the smile widened, but was tainted with the understanding that her lover was right; somewhere, deep down, Marceline wanted to waste everything, destroy what her girlfriend held dear and, most disturbing of all, she couldn’t be sure as to why. Whether this physical contact was sincere or merely the execution of a time-honored manipulative technique she couldn’t be sure, but chose to believe it to be the former.

They passed through the hallway silently, Bonnibel’s stride brisk, Marceline floating behind her as she regarded the corridor with blatant suspicion. Although the traps had been disabled by their creator the vampire couldn’t help nervously eyeing the smooth stone walls, used to hundreds of years’ worth of needing to evade the numerous traps hidden throughout the aisle. Although no darts would fly, no fire would ignite, no spike trap would impale without Bubblegum’s permission she was well-trained in the need to tread with caution. Bonnibel raised an eyebrow at her girlfriend’s wary behavior, silently resolving to manufacture a way for the half-demon to pass through the tunnel unscathed. After everything she had witnessed within the preceding two days the last thing she wanted was for her lover to be eviscerated or immolated; she had grown rather fond of the idea that she remain whole, and was especially perturbed by the idea that she herself have a direct hand in her being sliced apart with razor wire. In the back of her mind a rational and detached voice reminded her of her mate’s impressive ability to heal from what would otherwise be fatal wounds, but she shoved it away.  _ No, you’ve done quite enough, Bonnibel. Let’s leave her intact, she’s much too valuable. _

As Marceline pulled Bonnibel aside to confront her the Unifier accompanied Finn and Jake towards the opposite end of the hall. Both boys had yet to sheath their weapons, eyes quickly darting between the walls in anticipation for a sudden attack. As amusing as it was to watch Jake’s growing panic the situation was much too tense for the Unifier to enjoy it, and she sighed in exasperation. “Nothing’s going to jump out at you, dork. Bonnie disabled all the traps.” Finn noticeably calmed at her reassurance, though he kept his sword at the ready. 

Jake looked unconvinced. “I don’t know, man. Who knows how many of those things are in here?!” She bit her cheek to stop her temptation to force him to calm down by revealing the inner workings of the hallway. Realistically, there was no way of telling how similar this tunnel was to its actual counterpart, but she wasn’t willing to risk revealing any of her lover’s secrets unnecessarily. Not that informing Jake that were probably a dozen or so inactive snares at any one time would reassure him anyway. 

As his brother continued to act overly-vigilant Finn was engrossed with his own thoughts. In Ooo the news of his ladybros’ relationship had been surprising, but with so little experience directly looking at it the boy had wondered as to how meaningful it could really be.  _ After all,  _ he had thought,  _ they broke up long enough for Marce to try to find someone else.  _ Now within his friend’s mind, however, he was forced to confront just how deep their relationship really went; the princess even had entrances meant solely for Marceline built within the castle itself. But it was the little things that were beginning to nag at him, traits that signified a deep bond forged over many years. Bonnibel not reacting when the vampire pulled her into her lap, Marceline knowing exactly where the princess’s train of thought was going with only a glance, the diary - an object the queen had reacted to seeing so strongly - handed to the scientist with no hesitation, taken and hidden without question. His smile was sad.  _ I never had a chance, did I?  _ Still, it was hard to be resentful, especially given that Marceline was literally in the most vulnerable position a person could ever be in. Yet, as before, something nagged at him, something he couldn’t place.

They came to a stop before the end door, Jake breathing a sigh of relief that he was both out of range of the pitfalls and the stench from the lab. As he caught up on the joy of breathing the Unifier leaned against the door, uncharacteristically quiet, face grave. Finn leaned next to her, but before he could voice his concern over her mental state Jake broke the silence. “Don’t worry guys, we got this. Marceline, Finn and I will take on crazypants, you just worry about protecting the princess.” She nodded, still quiet, eyes downcast, and Jake frowned. “Come on, man, it’ll be alright. Once Bubblegum and other-you catch up we’ll go-” He was interrupted by the sound of two footsteps trailing them and immediately drew his stake, lowering it only when he found that they belonged to the lagging monarchs. “Man, I thought you guys would never catch up!” 

Finn raised an amused eyebrow at his brother. “I thought you weren’t into all this biz?” 

“Nah, man, that was the ol’ Jake. He’s dead now.” 

His brother nodded sagely. “Word. Welcome back, New Jake.” When the two high-fived Bonnibel, seemingly immune to their antics, approached the door. After a quick glance over her shoulder to take stock that all were present and accounted for, she took a deep breath and opened the door to her rooms. The entrance to the passageway opened through the right-hand wall, allowing full view of the bedroom itself. 

Unexpectedly, Princess Bubblegum’s bedroom was largely intact, and she frowned, eyes narrowing as she scanned the room.  _ Unsettling me by leaving my… our bedroom untouched in wake of the chaos that was my lab? Well, it won’t work, Marceline.  _ Except it was working; the monarch was turning a critical eye to every aspect of the imposter-room. The bed was made and unmolested, her walls were undamaged, even her wardrobe seemed intact. It took exiting the doorway for her to note any differences at all, and even they seemed minor. Each of her remaining rooms featured black razor wire striped with pink as thick as her arm across the closed doors.  _ Seems rather redundant when they lack doorknobs, but I appreciate the thought,  _ she thought dryly. It was thick and crossed diagonally perhaps a dozen times or more before abruptly terminating at the base, leaving enough viewing room to confirm that there was indeed a door while also sending the clear message that they should not be opened. As Jake began to investigate the flowerpots-that-now-lacked-flowers Finn noted that although the remainder of Bubblegum’s furniture existed in the false room nothing personal could be found; no stationary, writing utensils, books, even the few photographs she kept were missing. When she crossed the room to confirm their absence she noted out of the corner of her eye that not one but both Marcelines had entered the room very carefully, as if trying to avoid something.  _ What are you two- _

“Guys, look! Windows!” Both of their eyes widened at Jake’s exclamation, the Unifier reacting first. 

“Let’s not look out the windows.” 

Jake narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Why?” 

“It would be… boring!” 

“...Oh, okay.” He turned to leave, clearly satisfied with the less-than-satisfactory justification, but unfortunately for the vampires Finn had cleared the room first and was already gazing out. 

“...Woah. Guys. You need to see this.” 

Intrigued, the candy golem returned to the front of the room, shooting a silent warning look to the reticent queens, demanding they stay put. When they reluctantly obeyed she joined her champions at the window, immediately stunned into silence, the lecture on her tongue forgotten.

She remembered the scene before her, only now she was seeing it through a different perspective. Had she really looked that exhausted after her failure at creating an heir to her throne? Had her near-death at the hands of the Lich really driven her to such a state that she was typing absolutely nothing intelligent into her computer, been deaf to the vampire’s explosive entrance? Though only Marceline and Peppermint Butler knew it she barely remembered what the two would later call ‘The Goliad Incident’, having to nod along to whatever explanation Finn and Jake gave, lest they discover that she had not exactly been fully coherent. Although she recalled creating the candy sphinx, as well as its anti-climactic finish, she didn’t remember how long she continued to work on a replacement after Stormo, or how Marceline had convinced her to sleep.  _ I remember that fly, though.  _ She smiled fondly; watching the vexing fly through her lover’s eyes was an oddly amusing experience, even if watching herself watch herself was a bit disorienting, especially with the lack of sound.

Tearing her gaze away she moved to the left window and was rewarded with another scene, though this one she didn’t recognize. It featured the brothers prominently, and so she motioned for them to join her. Finn peaked through laughed immediately. “Jake, look!” He poked his head out the non-window, then scowled. 

“She just scared me was all! I thought she’d turned you to the dark side and you were gonna be a minion of evil forever!” 

“Henchman, Jake.”

“Same thing, man!” 

“No way, totally different! She talked about getting me an outfit and everything! You don’t splurge on threads for minions!” 

Jake crossed his arms, shaking his head in disappointment. “Where did I go wrong with you, Finn?”

Bonnibel turned to both undead rockers, who looked very uncomfortable with their three friends at the moment. Her voice was low, gentle, and she hoped came across as understanding. “They’re memories. That’s why you covered them all, so you don’t have to see them.” The Unifier’s wince was all the confirmation she needed. Some part of her wanted to admonish the two for behavior that was, ultimately, tantamount to running from their problems, but empathy won out, though that gave her no additional insight of what to say. 

Strangely, it was Jake who solved that problem on her behalf, and he turned to regard them sadly. “It hurt, huh?” Marceline nodded, eyes glued to the floor, the Unifier looking away from everyone. 

Finn blinked. “What did? Wouldn’t being able to see us-” 

Jake ignored him. “Nah, I get it. It’s a special kind of painful when-” 

At the same time Marceline’s jaw clenched as her hands had become talons, digging into palms hard enough to draw dead blood, the Unifier glared at the dog. “I don’t want to talk about it!” 

Finn jumped from the volume of the bark, while Jake continued to regard her with a sad smile, unaffected. He nodded and relented, “No probs.” Bubblegum watched the exchange with a mixture of concern, indignity, and bewilderment; although some deep part of her understood what Jake was alluding to she had no way to vocalize it, which meant that the greater part of her could not understand it exactly.

And Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum was all about understanding things exactly.

Not wanting to continue the discussion the Unifier caught Marceline’s eye before heading for the bedroom’s entrance. “Come on. Throne room’s down the hall. Let’s find her and end her.” She didn’t wait to see who - if anyone - was following her, striding purposefully for the exit, Marceline following after a quick glance over her shoulder. The princess frowned, torn between wanting to interrogate Jake for his insight and wanting to keep whatever was bothering her vampires between them and herself.  _ Even if that second window had nothing to do with me this is still my room, and thus I am involved by default.  _ She nodded to herself, resolved that her logic was sound and that she would corner Jake after their mission was complete. The sound of the door opening snagged her attention and, after one last look at her room, trailed after the group, just in time to see Finn stick his head out of it, sword as ready as Jake’s stake. Curiously, neither Marceline had drawn their axes, though it seemed to not matter; Finn had given the all clear, and the four joined him in the hallway.

Here, too, they found evidence of the corruption that plagued their temporary world. The previously immaculate purple walls seemed to be in the slow process of melting, as if having been exposed to an intense heat only recently. This observation seemed confirmed when Finn noted that the purple and gold banners that lined the hallway appeared singed and Jake confirmed the fading scent of fire. Bonnibel went to examine one and frowned; the burn appeared controlled, as if done less for destruction and more for style. Like within the bedroom, the numerous windows seemed to be in mint condition, without even a visible scratch. It took considerable effort for the princess to resist looking through them, warring between her obsession with collecting secrets and-  _ not getting caught I’m too exposed for this… right now  _ -not wanting to encroach upon Marceline’s privacy any further.  _ Besides, I must know them all by now.  _ Yet that was not true, and she was only realizing it now. If she did know all of her lover’s secrets her desire for the desolation of her home would have come as no surprise. True, she had always known of the vampire’s propensity for chaos and destruction, but she had been so sure that, even at her worst, there was no animosity towards her.  _ Maybe I’ll need the dagger after all…  _ This thought bothered her more than it comforted her, and she took that as a good thing.

Bonnibel turned to draw attention to the interesting taste in decor to the vampires, but found them engrossed in the lefthand wall, mulling over a pile of scratches embedded deep. As the Unifier kneeled, running her hand over them she muttered to Marceline, who was frowning in concentration.  _ That’s not good. When Marcy concentrates people tend to get maimed.  _ Before she could ask them what in Ooo they were doing the Unifier stood. “These scratches… they’re words. Really light words. I can’t read them.” 

Finn beamed, “Step aside, ladybros. Finn’s on the job and this wall doesn’t stand a chance!” Just as he did in the proxy-cave the boy began to scan the wall, searching for the rumored message. When he finished his eyes widened. “...Huh.” He didn’t wait for inquiry before turning his arm’s screen, revealing the note:

**What time is it?**

They fell silent until Jake threw his arms in the air. “That’s it, I’m doing this!” Clutching his stake he marched across the hall, ignoring the other signs of corruption. He ignored the bite-marks in the candy cane support beams, the purple rug’s dark stains, the indents in the wall that looked as though something large and heavy slammed into them repeatedly. He pretended not to notice the gaping holes in the floor that became increasingly abundant the further he went, and he didn’t acknowledge that the ceiling was cracked and flaking even as they walked under it. His chest was puffed, his shoulders back, his stake prepared, knowing without looking that his friends were right behind him. As far as Jake was concerned he was close to the final boss-  _ and everything else can stuff it! Yeah, Jake! You got this, me! _

What he couldn’t ignore was the singing, and it stopped him in his tracks.

It sounded slow and almost melancholy, and although it easily carried through the hallway it was almost soft, and unmistakably Marceline. It flowed from the throne room, easily passing through the door without any form of muffling.  _ I mean, why would a singer’s mind muffle her tunes?  _ These things were all obvious; what wasn’t obvious was the song’s lyrics. Even when the song’s tempo increased - albeit only slightly - they were impossible for the hero to understand. They were clear and articulate, and he easily identified the problem: they just weren’t in a language he understood. He turned to Finn in a silent inquiry, but his brother just shrugged in ignorance. It wasn’t a tongue he was familiar with either, though his experience was more limited than his own anyway, and this was surprising to no one. To the duo a song in a language they didn’t speak echoing through the malls of a punk rock vampire seemed strange, but not outside the realm of possibility, and once the initial shock of the sudden music subsided they were a bit bothered, but more determined than anything else.

Bonnibel, on the other hand, felt her sugary blood run cold because unlike the mortal boys she understood the language perfectly, and felt herself pale at this realization.  _ When did she…?  _ A glance towards the queens did nothing to alleviate her mounting apprehension as the two had returned to studying walls, the opposite this time, talking softly with one another. It bothered Bubblegum that they didn’t seem bothered at all. Before she could summon them to her the Unifier once again called over Finn and gestured towards the current wall of interest. Now the princess’s anxiety began to mix with frustration that no one besides herself seemed concerned or even curious about the singing; had Jake not stopped to listen when it began she would be absolutely sure she was imagining it. Her hands wringed as Finn finished his scan and displayed the screen to the Unifier, who in turn drew Marceline’s attention to it. Both looked disgruntled, but no one saw fit to share that information with Jake or Bonnibel. Once again, this didn’t seem to bother Jake at all, but the princess was bothered plenty that her own mate would leave her out of the loop, her frustration amplified by the singing, which had yet to subside. With a deep, calming breath she counted to ten, exhaling to regain her composure. “Yo!” Four heads looked her way, following her as she motioned for them to follow her.

They stopped before the doorway. It was composed of two half of dark wood, darker than the real door in the real castle. With a start Finn realized that it looked like the same wood they had seen in the Citadel, on the way to Hunson’s office.  _ So is this, like… her Citadel? That doesn’t sound right.  _ Jake sniffed it. “Mm... it’s got that ‘new door’ smell.” Marceline blinked at him, but said nothing. Reaching over the sniffing dog Bonnibel reached out to the duo metal hinges and thick, round knockers, touching them gingerly to confirm that there was no silver. 

“It feels like brass.” This was as much to herself as it was to the others. It was a strange feature to change about her hallway, replacing the metal with a different non-lethal metal, yet leaving them entirely undamaged, unlike the rest of the hallway. That, too, bothered her.  _ Is this another attempt to disorient us? Phft. Like that would work on us. No one is that detail-oriented. Well, no one except-  _ before admitting to herself that she was alone in her discomfort she addressed Marceline. “Alright, how are we doing this, Marcy?”

For a moment Marceline just stared at the door, deep in thought. “...Alright. Here’s what’s going down. Finn, Jake, we’re going in. You,” she turned to the Unifier, “stay back. If you eat it we can’t be whole. Bon,” she turned now to the princess, “stay back here with her. There’s no way to know how she’s going to react to seeing you.” 

Finn tilted his head. “I thought you said you’d never hurt PB?”

It was the Unifier who answered. “We wouldn’t, but there’s no way of knowing if she’ll play by the rules. I mean…” she gestured to the castle itself and he nodded in understanding. 

“Chaotic and evil. Got it.” 

Marceline removed her axe. “Like I said before. She likes mindgames, shapeshifting, and being a jerk. Don’t let her bait you, because she’ll try. The goal is to gank her before she ganks us. Just… don’t be dumb.” Jake gave her a thumbs up and she pushed open the door, the singing still accompanying them as they breached the inner sanctum.

Inside, as expected, they found the room to have traces of the ever-present corruption. The purple and pink rug that extended from the door to the throne was threadbare and badly torn, less a rug and more of a series of fabric scraps littering the floor in a clear path to the throne in a way that reminded Finn of mutilated flowers-  _ because plants look a really really specific way when they no stop it Finn not right now.  _ The eastern wall appeared to be fire-damaged, with several huge scorch marks embellishing the candy cane beams and sugary wall. All of the flags had been removed and stuck to the western wall in a pattern resembling a poorly-designed bat, its wing dimensions differing severely with one being overly large, the other amusingly small. The pink, round windows built into the ceiling, like those in the hallway, were free of any visible damage, and once again Bonnibel had to resist the urge to look through them, knowing that her task was to stay hidden on the other side of the entrance’s alcove with the almost-powerless vampire. The giant, stained glass window of pinks, oranges, and purples at the back of the room was an even worse temptation.

They found the third Marceline lounging on the Candy Kingdom throne, still singing as she had been for the past three minutes. She lay with her legs thrown over the left armrest, her back wedged against the right, head resting on her crossed arms behind it, eyes closed. Her bass lay on the opposite end of the throne, blade down. Like the first two vampire queens this one had unique attire, but it was an outfit the three immediately recognize: It was a dark maroon coat, made of a material only Marceline recognized. The blackstrap with the intricate design on the front was open, barely exposing the black blouse underneath. The same black material, with the same intricate design, lined the sleeves, as well as her chest up to her shoulders. Below the strap were three sets of buttons, open, allowing a full view of pants made of the same dark material as the strap and covered with an unidentified metal. The sides extended to her knees and were slitted. She was still wearing the red boots, the left side of her head still shaved.

It was the same outfit they had left her in back at the Citadel.

Neither Finn nor Jake interrupted the throne-dweller, knowing from years of experience that terrible things tended to happen to people who interrupted Marceline’s music time. Although she only continued for, at best, twenty seconds it was possibly the most awkward twenty seconds of either of their lives. Finn chanced a glance behind him while his enemy’s eyes were closed, and while he caught the Unifier peaking out from behind the door, clearly anticipating this situation to get ugly, Bonnibel was mercifully absent. He returned to focus on this new-comer when her song stopped. After a pause she opened her eyes, which were dark garnet slits. “No applause? Lame.” Finn was about to say something, but Marceline held out her free hand, stopping him. She was entirely focused on her other self and took the lead.

“Get off the throne, Usurper.” 

The tone was harder than they had ever heard out of this version of Marceline, demanding and focused. The duo could hear the barely restrained growl when the throne-squatter smirked, unfolding her arms. “Uh… pretty sure it’s my throne now. See?” She uncrossed her arms, and Jake whimpered when he realized that in place of hands she instead possessed dark black talons tipped by impossibly sharp claws. They were tapping the back of the throne, and Finn had to squint to see what she was indicating. When he realized why she looked so amused his eyes widened.  _ Okay, Peebs needs to definitely not see that.  _ Scratched into the throne’s back, over and through its hand-painted purple and pink mosaic back was an elaborate ‘M’, carved in a near-perfect approximation of the princess’s dainty handwriting. When she saw his eyes widen she grinned. “You like it, Finn? Took me days. Had to be careful, you know? I only have one throne.” She snickered at her own joke, and, from behind the alcove, Bubblegum’s jaw clenched; she couldn’t see the conversation, but she sure could hear it. The Unifier offered an apologetic smile, but Bonnibel wasn’t paying attention to her.

Abruptly, the one called the Usurper dropped all humor, looking over the three, towards the alcove. Evidently she didn’t like what she saw, because her face darkened and her voice turned harsh. “You didn’t bring her?! I gave you one job, you dink!” She quickly sat up, glaring at Marceline, who crossed her arms. 

“I’m not negotiating with you, Usurper.” 

Garnet eyes narrowed dangerously. “This isn’t a negotiation! I told you to bring her and you failed at your one job!” Her talons gripped the armrests, cracking the wood. Hearing her throne snap, Bonnibel took a sharp, angry breath. “Do you  _ want  _ me to decapitate you? Because you’re not the only one who knows where she is!” 

“Marce-” 

She turned to Finn sharply, eye flicking to his sword. With a raised eyebrow her voice shifted, becoming almost conversational. “Where’d you get a thing like that, Finn?” He didn’t take the bait, heeding Marceline’s warning. 

“Come on, Marce. We’re your buds! This isn’t you!” 

She sighed dramatically. “Finn, do me a favor, get off Percy.”

He stopped mid-thought. Blinking. “...I’m sorry, what?”

“Your high horse. I’ve named him Percy for you.” She paused, as if expecting something. “You’re welcome.”

Marceline was shouting now. “Get off the glopin’ throne!”

The Usurper turned back to her, Finn having been successfully stunned into silence. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to see these guys again, but I’m gonna have to kill them. And you.” 

Jake looked indignant. “What’d we do?!” 

She balked. “You have a stake and Finn has a demon sword. Awesome negotiating skills by the way, I can tell you do this a lot.” 

Jake looked at his stake, concentrating before nodding. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“Jake!,” Finn admonished, but to no real effect. 

Once again, the Usurper’s attention turned to Marceline. “Hey, speaking of negotiating skills,  _ you didn’t bring her! _ ” Talons drew slowly across the armrests and Bonnibel bristled. 

Not to be deterred, Finn tried once again, “Marce, come on-” 

“Yeah, that’s another thing. Let’s stick with ‘Usurper’, I really don’t want to be associated with any of these dinguses.” 

Marceline frowned, eyes narrowing, the latent growl emerging. Sensing that this was about to get ugly, Finn and Jake fell silent, watching the exchange for the first sign of a brawl, ready to defend their friend. “Your name is Marceline. My name is Marceline. We’re the same person, you lunatic!”

The response was a groan. “We’ve been over this. It’s ‘Usurper’. Not hard, even for us.”

“Stop being a cliche! We have an image to maintain!”

“Yeah,  _ my  _ image, you mooch. Who cultivated being  _ the  _ Vampire Queen? Who upheld our title as baddest punk rocker in Ooo? Who kicked literally every butt to claw our way to the top and stay up there? Yeah. Me. Again, it’s ‘Usurper’.”

“You’re not a supervillain!”

The Usurper tilted her head, eyebrow raised. “I’m a being of pure chaotic energy, basically invincible, able to take any form, heal any injury. I can summon fire, manipulate objects and people without touching them, stalk any prey, break any wall. I can level mountains, waste kingdoms, incite mayhem, and annihilate entire armies  _ on my own.  _ I am the most powerful being in all of Ooo.” As she spoke her voice maintained an odd steadiness, her demeanor calm, the pride evident. 

When she finished Jake frowned in thought. “I thought your dad was the most powerful being in all of Ooo?” 

“...Excuse me?” She stood, grasping the wood of the armrests to push herself up, the *snap* of the wood growing louder as its integrity weakened under the excessive force. From behind the alcove Bonnibel heard the Unifier mutter, “uh oh,” drawing all of her focus to the throne room, even if she could not risk looking in directly. The Usurper’s focus was now on the hero brothers, still either unaware or uncaring that she had an audience of two hiding just outside of the room.

“Alright, let’s get something straight here.” Her eyes had grown dark, her tone filled with repressed rage. Jake lifted his stake on auto-pilot, but she didn’t react. “ _ Dad  _ is the most powerful being in Ooo? Are you  _ blind?  _ You’ve seen him without the chaos amulet. He’s fat and lazy. He relies on a piece of jewelry for power! You take that away from him he’s just another demon, stuck in his realm, playing by stupid rules he wrote designed to limit his own power like a turd! I mean, who does that?!” A snarl began to seep into her voice. “But  _ me?  _ I was Turned in my prime! I have kick-butt vampire powers, demonic strength and energy, and I  _ don’t need a necklace to use it _ ! He thinks I don’t know he’s trying to use me?  The Nightosphere is his goal for me because he’s too weak for it, so he calls it my birthright to try to sucker me into doing his job for him. But I don’t need it. You know what my birthright is?!” She gestured to the world beyond the castle’s windows, venom dripping from her diatribe. “ _ That  _ is my birthright! I am the beginning, I am the end, I am the apocalypse all of those pre-War legends talk about!” She flexed her claws as if bearing them. “So yeah. I am  _ literally  _ a super villain,  _ Marceline, _ ” she sneered.

Perhaps it had been seeing her lab perverted into a reflection of her sins. Perhaps it was watching her castle in ruins, her kingdom all but razed to the ground, the defilement of her sacred tree. Or, maybe, it was seeing her usually vibrant home devoid of color and life, her room alien and cold. Alternatively, it could have been the knowledge that a woman who was meant to be her other half was the cause, that she couldn’t even have the luxury of being mad at her because, ultimately, it wasn’t really the half-demon’s fault, it had been an indirect result of her own machinations. At a stretch, it could be hearing the narcissistic rant from the person she had shared her life and secrets with, the sound of her throne cracking under force of someone not herself. It would be fair to say it was the summation of everything, but it would be that one comment, that one retort that would result in Bonnibel Bubblegum snapping harder than she ever had before in her over eight-hundred years. Beyond restraint, she flipped around until she was sure she would be fully audible to the occupants of the throne room.   
  
“THAT’S NOT HOW THE WORD ‘LITERALLY’ WORKS, MARCELINE!”

Time seemed to freeze. The Unifier slowly turned her head to stare at the princess in disbelief. Finn and Jake exchanged a look, a silent conversation that was over in moments born from years of experience, assuring that the other would be ready to jump into the fray should the Usurper turn on Bubblegum. Marceline closed her eyes, taking a deep breath she didn’t need in preparation for what was to come. The Usurper blinked in surprise, her fury immediately dropping as her eyes lit up in recognition. Unlike the Unifier and Marceline, however, the Usurper’s glee was mixed with something darker, an ill-intent poorly masked. She grinned, shouting across the room. “Is that you, Bonnie?!” She didn’t wait for a response, eyes wide with expectation. “Come on, let me see! It’s been way too long, dork!” Despite the Unifier’s hiss of an objection the younger monarch entered the-  _ my, glob it!  _ -throne room, tailed by her lover. The Usurper ignored her palpable rage, only fanning the flames in the process. “And you brought the wenis with you! Aw, and I didn’t get you a present. Oh! But I did redecorate in your absence. I’ve made the Candy Kingdom fashionable. Sick, right?” She was smirking, but it was a twisted approximation of her vampire’s smirk, less teasing and more malicious.

The princess took a hard look at this new Marceline.  _ I’ve seen that expression before…  _ And she had, but not for hundreds of years. It was the same smirk, the same glint in her eyes as when Marceline had proudly declared her intent to teach the younger woman ‘how to hunt’, offering her an eviscerated demon to practice on. Just as she did then the Usurper looked proud of her handiwork, as if half-expecting to be praised for her brutality and perversion. But, just as then as well, she was unstable, her claw twitching, a low-frequency growl emerging from the back of her throat to mark her impatience and pent up aggression, for killing never sated Marceline for long. It was why Bonnibel had-  _ trained, call it what it is, Bonnibel  _ -persuaded her to only release it at opportune moments, to be used constructively in some fashion. Yet this was that homicidal urge incarnate, and the candy woman was sure this had less to do with Bonnibel’s approval and more to do with mocking her at any given opportunity. A pink face flushed red with anger, hands clenching tightly.

The Usurper waited for her to open her mouth in reply before cutting her off. “Oh, hold on, one second.” She turned to the Unifier and sighed. “You didn’t bring her either, did you? I gave you both one simple job. I’m disappointed in you.” Now her gaze returned to Bubblegum, who was fuming at being so blatantly interrupted just for the sake of annoying her. “Okay,  _ now  _ you may speak.” The smirk never wavering, she returned to the throne, motioning patronizingly for the princess to continue. The Unifier tried to calm her princess, desperately trying to remind her not to give into the Usurper’s baiting. But a furious Bonnibel was impossible to reel in; she was just too inexperienced in allowing herself to feel the full gamut of emotions, she had no way of knowing how to regain control once the fuse was lit.

“Get off of my throne, Marceline! Regardless of your delusion you are not the reigning monarch of this kingdom!”

The Usurper sighed dramatically once more, ending her expression on another groan. “Alright brainlord. Few things. One,” she held up a claw. “This is  _ my  _ throne. See?” She tapped the ‘M’ both loudly and fervently. “Two,” a second claw went up. “I thought you wanted me on a throne? I mean… all of this,” she gestured to the outside world, “seems like the handiwork of dad’s amulet. I’m going to guess you tried to make me wear it in an attempt to fulfill your selfish desire to level up your throne, increase your power and all that.” The smirk became smug. “Am I right?” She didn’t wait for an answer, satisfied with how thin her lover’s lips were becoming. “Three,” a third claw now, “that’s not very diplomatic of you, Bonnie. Honestly, is it too hard to ask for you to show some respect for visiting royalty? Four,” yet another claw, “I don’t recall voting for you.”

The clenched pink hands were trembling as they watched the interloper resume her original position, lounging across the now-clawed throne. “Monarchies are not democracies, Marceline!”

She was regarded with disdain. “Usurper. We just talked about this being my name now. Come on Bon, keep up here, I know you were listening in. Spying is just something you do. Speaking of which,” her attention left the candy golem, turning now towards her counterparts. “Let me guess. These three, probably led by this one,” she gestured absently to the princess “decided to try to put us back together again.” 

Finn frowned. “We miss you, Marce! You’re a ladybro, you should be home with your guybros and other ladybro!” 

He was ignored entirely, all three Marcelines now utterly focused on one another. “Why do you think she’s here, really?” Neither responded, hoping to deter the train of thought barreling towards them. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. “Let me put it this way, dinguses. Has Bonnibel  _ ever  _ done anything without an ulterior motive? Or do you honestly think our emotionally-repressed  _ princess _ is really doing this out of the goodness of her heart?”

The Unifier crossed her arms, sighing in annoyance. “She’s our mate. Of course she’s going to come for us. We’d do the same.” 

The response was laughter that bordered on hysterical. “Wow, I didn’t realize so much of me was that deluded. She’s here because we’re of use to her. Nothing more. The problem with you three-” Bonnibel frowned in confusion at the discrepancy.  _ Wait… three?  _ “-and you, Oh Great Unifier, is that you allowed us to become domesticated. Like a pet.” 

“That’s not true, Marceline, and you know it!” 

She quickly turned towards Bubblegum, her eyes dark once more. “Oh? You won’t even let me out when I want to come out. You let me out as… what did you call it?” 

“Catharsis.” 

“Catharsis, yeah. You put me in a cage and let me out to try to stop us from giving in to our base needs. You let me out when I can be a means to an end for you, because I’m a one-woman weapon of mass destruction.” She smirked, fangs extending in what the princess recognized as a sign that she was prepared to fight. “You don’t keep a weapon of mass destruction unless you’re too fragile to defend yourself. Right, Bon?”

“That’s not-” 

Once again, the Usurper’s attention darted away, back to her other selves, the smirk dropping. “She’s going to betray us. We’ve always known that it was going to happen one day. It’s just what she does. We burn everything to the ground, she machinates. Just the way things are-” 

“Would you stop talking about me like I’m not here?!” 

The Usurper rolled off of the throne, into the air, stretching. “Not fun when you’re not talked to like a person, huh?” Piercing green eyes met demonic red ones, which pierced back. “You can’t help your nature anymore than I can help mine. You know what your greatest weakness is, Bon? You’re exactly as smart as you think you are.” She sneered at her girlfriend’s indignant expression. “You like to control things, Bonnie. It’s just what you do. And I gotta admit, you’ve done a really wicked job of controlling us these past… five centuries? Six?” She shrugged. “Eh, doesn’t matter. Point is, when you take away those parts of me that are submissive and empathetic and junk I get to appreciate you in a whole new way.” 

“Uh huh…” Bubblegum sounded unconvinced, and the Usurper rolled her eyes.

“No, seriously! Come on, you know you have a scary-bad dark streak. I mean, I won’t get into details with a sweet innocent child in the room, but we both know what I’m talking about.”

Now the candy princess’s fury was mixed with distaste. “Is this the part where you tell me to rule with you?” 

The Usurper stared for several long moments before laughing uproariously. “Oh, no no no. I’m just saying that your dark streak is super attractive and you should let it out more.” Her grin revealed a mouth of needle-sharp teeth, and Jake accidentally let out a small ‘eep’. “No, this is  _ my  _ throne. Get your own.”

A pink hand, the one that rested next to the messenger bag, twitched. Sensing that the confrontation was about to turn violent Finn took a step closer to the throne. “Marce, don’t make us have to do this.” 

She tilted her head in faux confusion. “Don’t make me have to kill you then. Don’t get me wrong, you’re a nice kid, but I really dislike you ‘obey the law’ types on principle. All you do is take someone else’s rules and force them down the throats of other peeps, don’t even care if they want to. You just do what your leader says and expect everyone else to do the same. Not really fair, huh?” Her head shake was mocking. “‘Sides, what’s so different from her,” she nodded to the fuming woman, “and my rule? Nothing really, you just take comfort in having some illusion of order. But that’s all order is. Illusion. Control, too. If it wasn’t…” Her eyes met Bonnibel’s. “How would I have ever found my way here?” 

“Because this castle is a figment of your imagination, you butt!” 

“I don’t know, brainlord, you seem pretty miffed about something that isn’t even real.” The tone of voice was of a smug ‘gotcha’.

Finn drew her attention away from Bubblegum, and both missed the princess reach into her bag slowly. “But if this is ‘your’ castle now, why did you trash it?” 

The confusion that elicited seemed genuine. “Why would I trash my own lair?” 

“The lab was-” 

Now she laughed, mocking his confusion. “Oh, that place? Nah man, I left that room  _ exactly  _ the way I found it.” 

He frowned in disbelief. “No way.” 

“Yes way. Bonnibel  _ hates  _ when people touch her stuff. Right, Bon? ‘Sides, it had a nice theme going on. I can appreciate style when I see it.” 

A growl of her own emerged from the back of Bubblegum’s throat as she felt herself close to snapping for a second time.  _ Well, this is what it’s for. Don’t make me use it, Marceline!  _ Even in her own head her voice came as a snarl. She chose to give the Usurper one last chance for deliverance. “Get. Off. Of. My. Throne. NOW, MARCELINE!” Grinning, the vampire made a grand show of returning to the aforementioned throne, arms stretching behind it, as her back arched against it, as if the ‘M’ wasn’t enough to mark it as her own. Her voice was full of jeers and animosity, pupils dilated in delight at the sight of her younger lover so full of delicious rage. 

“Make. Me.”

When Bonnibel Bubblegum was younger, before her crown had even been designed let alone constructed, she had met a vampire not much older than herself, relatively speaking. This vampire was also a half-demon and made no effort to keep her love of pranks a secret, did nothing to hide that she could and would use her charm to escape any corner she found herself backed into. The two had become allies at first, and just as a friendship began to bloom the not-yet princess had her dagger commissioned, pure silver, designed specifically for use against the older woman; she seemed harmless enough to the candy golem, but who was to say what her real intent was, or what the future would hold? And so she practiced with that dagger religiously, taking at least an hour every night to practice holding it, throwing it, becoming accustomed to its weight and dimensions so that she would be able to draw and use it at any moment. Long after the friendship established she continued her training, never quite willing to let her guard down until the vampire had proven herself a true equal, something the almost-princess had thought would be impossible of another soul yet had been accomplished all the same. Still, the paranoia was deeply ingrained, and even as the metal tarnished from disuse the younger woman would still hold it, still keep its dimensions embedded in her mind, should a day ever come when she would need to wield the weapon against her dearest friend.

It was only thanks to such extensive training that Bonnibel Bubblegum was able to draw the knife faster than the Usurper - faster than anyone - could notice. Muscle memory took over from there, remembering the exact posture she should adopt, how and when her wrist should flick, how she should level her legs to keep her balance. Her aim was off, a side-effect of failing to upkeep that aspect of her training, but the blade nevertheless found its target, embedding itself in the Usurper’s right lower arm. It pierced the arm from the underside as she had been moving to rest it on the armrests, slicing perfectly between the ulna and the radius, below the wrist. The sound of the flesh tearing was drowned out by the vampire’s inhuman screech of pain, the dark, dead blood flowing freely out of the opening, down the damaged coat sleeve, into an unmoving palm, which had begun twitching at the base of the talons. Bonnibel smirked at that, realizing that she must have severed some rather important nerves for her to suddenly lose control of her own hand, taking delight in the pained cry of the half-demon that looked so much like  _ her  _ half-demon. As the blood flowed it coated the knife until it was concealed under the slick, sticky fluid, the smell of copper filling the air mixed with the burning flesh of unholy skin meeting pure silver, especially apparent to the three at the front of the room. Ironically, the weapon was thrown with such force that the blade pinned the arm - and thus the vampire herself - to the throne, preventing her from moving without either tearing the dagger clear through to the other side or ripping it out by hand and burning that as well.

When the left, uninjured claw took the form of a hand, wrapped itself in the cloth of the sleeve, and pulled the dagger out Bonnibel Bubblegum realized her grave mistake.

From afar it was difficult to tell if the wound had begun healing, but Finn and Jake weren’t waiting for confirmation before moving. Blood still flowed around it, staining the wooden throne and ruining an otherwise lovely coat. But despite her injury, and ignoring that the duo were rapidly approaching her armed with two potentially deadly weapons, the Usurper’s mind was focused entirely on the silver she had pulled from her arm. Raising herself in the air, beyond the reach of sword or stake, she cradled her right arm to her body, awkwardly using her left sleeve to clean the hilt until it was visible. Her eyes widened in recognition, her laughter loud and without humor. She dropped suddenly, landing on top of Jake, who dropped his stake with a yelp. Still, she ignored him in favor of her two other selves. “You still think Bonnie loves us? You still think Bonnie cares about us?! Look familiar, you idiots?!” She threw the dagger into the ground in front of them. It stuck from the floor, blade first, its inscription visible. Like the Usurper two more sets of demonic eyes widened at the sight of it. As Finn launched his own attack and Jake righted himself the Unifier stared at her princess, dark eyes shifting between emotions ranging from despair to hurt to angry, the vampire clearly having difficulty comprehending the betrayal in front of her.

“...Marceline, I-” 

The Unifier didn’t wait for her to finish; she pulled her other self with her to join Finn and Jake in the fray. She told herself it was so that she didn’t miss the Usurper’s soul when she got ganked, but deep down she knew it was because she couldn’t look at Bonnibel, a feeling both half-demons seemed to share without confirming. Left behind, Bubblegum’s mind rapidly flashed between different probably outcomes of this scenario; not as to whether or not they would survive their encounter with the Usurper, but how she was possibly going to handle the mess she had just made.  _ Great job, Bonnibel. Best work yet. Go me. _

She mentally checked back in when she heard the malicious Marceline chuckle, “Hey, I can be a dog too, Jake.” Dozens, perhaps over a hundred bones seemed to crack simultaneously, the snapping building to a crescendo Jake clearly found nauseating as they mended and cracked again, slowly shaping the Usurper’s skeleton to a more canine form. As her bones shifted the flesh shifted with it, occasionally tearing under the pressure of their manipulations, leaving gaping wounds that quickly sealed around the newly-stabilized form before being replaced with black, coarse fur. As the face became the muzzle the teeth elongated, maintaining their needle-sharpness even as they pierced straight downward; if she felt the facially wounds she gave no indication. The hands returned to claws, now canine and furred, the transformation ending with a long, wolven tail. 

Slitted garnet eyes pierced into Jake’s core. “Should we see who the alpha is?” As the shapeshifter rounded on his brother Finn noticed that she seemed to be babying her right front leg and paw and attempting to hide it by constantly shifting her weight. Were he younger he would have been distracted by the ploy, by her preparation for attacking. But he was approaching manhood, and he had fought enough evil beings to know when they were going for the kill, when they were playing with their food, and when they were masking an injury. Readying his demon blood blade he waited for her to leap. Sensing Finn’s intent Jake made a dash across the for the boy, the wolf right behind him. Just as she dove for him Finn slashed, missing her chest but severing her right arm at the shoulder, causing her to release a canine-like howl. The arm, which immediately resumed being humanoid once detached from its host, tumbled to the ground, dark blood spraying the trio before doing so to the stone floor when it tumbled to a stop just before the Unifier. The Usurper was forced into her normal form from the blow, left claw instinctively covering up the gaping wound left behind. Jake sighed in relief at not needing to look at the bloody hole, ‘eep’ing once more when he saw the look of pure hatred he was being given.

“Do you idiots know how much that hurts?!” And then she was gone, reappearing behind the Unifier, who was shoved to the ground as the arm was retrieved. She locked eyes with Finn as she pressed the arm to her shoulder’s wound, Jake reacting with horror as he saw the two halves react to one another, immediately stitching back together. At once the bleeding stopped as flesh was sutured, as veins and arteries reattached, as tendons connected once more. Once whole the Usurper stretched the shoulder, flexing her fingers to test her mobility. Finn didn’t miss her wince.  _ Alright, awesome, she’s still injured from PB’s knife! Go princess!  _ As she recovered the Unifier finally drew her axe and was prepared to decapitate the invader, but was stopped when she disappeared once more. When she heard the ‘yipe!’ she quickly turned toward Jake, who had been thrown into Finn hard enough to unbalance them both, the sword flying out of the boy’s hand to land near Bonnibel’s dagger. She picked up the stake from where it tumbled next to the dog, smirking as she crushed it in her claw. She now stood over them, smirking. “Sorry, kids. Nothing personal. And for what it’s worth, Finn, you were a good henchman, so-”

Her farewell speech was cut off by Marceline, who had tackled her in her own wolf form, unhindered by a knife injury. The Usurper caught herself as she fell, balancing herself on both legs and her one functioning arm hard enough to leave claw marks in the stone. “Oh, come on! I wasn’t going to let them suffer or anything!” The wolf only growled in response and she snorted. “Fine. You want to make this ugly? Let’s make it ugly.” Her claws extended, she grinned and disappeared. 

The room was silent until- “THE THRONE!” Finn ducked in time for the heavy piece of wood to miss him. It instead hit the the stone wall behind him, exploding from the velocity of the throw. The shards of wood recoiled from the force, striking Jake who landed with a sickening *crack*. Finn didn’t have time to check on his brother; a floating axe bass was aimed directly for his head and descending quickly. Eyes wide, he rolled away from the blade, the floor below him splitting deeply when it finally connected. He did not escape unscathed; when he tried to push himself up he saw that three of his fingers had been crushed, though from the axe or the throne he could not recall. 

When the Usurper reappeared she was smirking, bass secure in her left hand.

“Though I guess  _ you  _ would know how much it hurts, huh?” To his surprise she disappeared again.  _ Weird, I thought she was gonna- Oh nuts, Jake! _

He began to search rapidly for his brother, hoping the crack he heard  wasn’t from something important. He found him pinned against a wall, holding an already badly-swollen left arm. Before him stood the Unifier, and before her the Usurper; the latter’s axe had clearly been interrupted by the former’s in its quest to cleave the older hero in two. The Unifier was struggling under the force from the swing, arms shaking in her refusal to let her other self kill their friend. “Knock it off, jerkwad! He’s mine!” Finn blinked, but smiled despite the ridiculousness of the situation.  _ Oh, I forgot how territorial vampires get. Maybe that means they’re done fighting? This is going to be very funny one day, when we’re all trying not to get dead.  _ The axes separated, the Unifier losing her balance at the sudden departure, catching herself just before the fall. At first Finn couldn’t see what had caused the stalemate to break, but his answer came in the form of the wolf tackling the Usurper. With a crooked smile the invader turned her blade, the flat edge catching the wolf in the head as she lunged; the wolf crashed against the opposite wall hard enough to leave a dent* before returning to Marceline’s normal form. She lay prone, face-down, for only a moment before starting to push herself up. 

Once again, the Usurper had disappeared, and Finn’s thoughts quickly turned to Bubblegum, who seemed oddly untouched by the melee. He turned then to his brother, who was clutching his arm with a grimace, still hiding behind the Unifier, who had not only her axe in hand but another at her feet. All eyes were focused in terror at the front of the room, and when he turned to see what had her so frightened his expression matched the rest of the group’s. The Usurper was grinning, sharp teeth exposed. “I told you that this was going to get ugly.” In her arms she held a semi-conscious Marceline; the interloper’s right hand was rested on her counterpart’s left cheek, her left arm wrapped around the front of her torso. Despite her poorly-healed injury she was clearly in better condition than Marceline; now that she was restrained, Finn could see a large crack on the left side of her skull, dark blood already seeping out and matting to her hair. Exactly how large the injury was or even where it originated his vantage point could not decipher, but that wasn’t what his vision was drawn to. Her eyes were trying to focus, she was trying to remain conscious, but it was clearly a losing battle, and her strength could not outmatch the Usurper’s.

“I don’t really want to repeat myself, but apparently I didn’t make myself clear the first time. I am the beginning, and I am the end. I will not be contained and I will not be domesticated. I will claim what is  _ mine,  _ what I  _ deserve _ , and I’m not letting a couple mere mortals, a piece of sugar, and her pets stop me.” Her grip tightened. “For too long I’ve had to sit in a cage and watch as the rest of me ruined all of my hard work because, somewhere along the way, we forgot we are a monster, what our potential truly is.” She sighed dramatically, eyes closing briefly before opening again to focus on Bonnibel. Her voice was no longer frenzied; she sounded disappointed. “You did this to yourself, you know. You’re a liar. That dagger is proof that we’re worth nothing to you, which means your opinion means squat now. So, this, Bonnie?” She glanced down at the limp body in her arms for a moment before meeting her eyes once again. “This, Bonnibel, is a lesson.” Bubblegum’s eyes widened in sudden understanding. “And do you know what the best part about this is?” 

“MARCE-” 

“You’re going to remember this lesson for the rest of your life.”

In time, Finn and Jake would discuss in hushed voices how the quickest moments in life become the most scarring, how the duration of an event has no bearing as to how deeply it would affect you, or how it would affect you in the first place. And when they would engage in this philosophical discussion they would do so with equally hurt looks, knowing which event exactly the other was referring to. Because they would remember the day they watched the Usurper’s right claw gripped the back of Marceline’s head, the onyx hair pulled tightly over the severe headwound, the talons slicing into the back of her neck at the base with enough force to draw a thin trickle of dark blood. They would remember the day the left claw clamped onto their friend’s right arm, piercing the grey flesh deeply, deep enough that Finn saw the bicep and tricep and whatever other muscles - he would never ask Bonnibel, never want to remember - twitch involuntarily as nerves were severed, that left claw gripping tightly as it pulled. And they would remember that, as it pulled, the right claw sunk in to Marceline’s face, thumb-talon sinking into her cheekbone with enough force to cave it in, though the extent of the damage was mercifully blocked from the boy’s view. The day that the Usurper’s clawed hands pulled in two opposite directions until flesh rended, until blood flowed, until torn muscles became exposed, overlayed with the noise of the muscles and the flesh ripping deeply. And then that second sound, the impossibly loud *SNAP* of her back breaking at the base of her neck, and they could see the skeleton underneath for too long, so long it would burn itself in their memories, that sight of their friend’s spine severing. And then it was over, her body was gone, their friend was gone, just ash and a soul, a soul that didn’t even get to go home to the Unifier because the Usurper grabbed it, cackling even as her clothing became drenched in her own blood.

She never broke eye contact.

The Unifier dropped to one knee, in visible pain, though whether it was from watching herself die at her own hands or from having a piece of her soul manhandled Finn had no idea; if gripping her soul in such a way hurt the Usurper she gave no indication. She just grinned at the response her performance had earned her. “Aw, come on guys. You act like you had no idea I was going to do that.” Her grin was maniacal. “Now. I’m going to give you this.” She shifted her eyes to the soul fragment before returning them to the group, now focusing on the Unifier. “But it’s an act of good faith, alright?” Her tone abruptly became angry. “Go. Get. HER. Or this? I keep doing it. I wanted to wait until I dealt with my tool problem, but apparently this is the only message you wads understand, so  _ go get her  _ or I go find the others.” She let the soul fragment go, and the Unifier quickly absorbed it. “Got it? Cool. You know where I’ll be.” 

As the room remained stood stunned she floated over to her own bass - Finn noticed that the extra at the Unifier’s feet was now missing - and strapped the instrument to her back before transforming once again. First, her arms and legs elongated and became bare and grey. Then, with the unmistable sounds of rendered flesh and breaking bones two black, leathery wings emerged from her back, her torso growing large, furry, and black. As it changed so too did her head; her nose became large and flat, beset on either side by two blue, pupil-less eyes, her ears becoming furry and black, relocating to the top of her head. When she stretched her back cracked, and she laughed at the group’s collective wince, at Jake’s sudden grab for his stomach at the sound. “I gotta say, I love shapeshifting into whatevs, but I love being a bat most of all. Just feels right, you know?” Without waiting for an answer she strode to the large stained glass window towards the front of the room and kicked it in.

She hesitated before exiting, pulling her leg back in so that she could take one very long, last look at the throne room. “You know… before I go there’s one thing I’ve  _ always  _ wanted to do.” Her eyes met the Unifier’s. “You know what I’m saying?” At that she laughed cruelly and dove out the window, disappearing.

Finn turned towards their friend to ask if she knew what she meant, but apparently she did because she beat him to it. “Jake, grab Finn! We have to get out of here!” Without waiting for confirmation she flew from her position to Bonnibel, scooping the princess up with practiced form even as she remained stunned from the sight of seeing Marceline so brutally slaughtered. Jake immediately forgot his hurt arm, reaching for Finn with his uninjured one as he stretched for the broken window, after the two monarchs. Before allowing himself to be grabbed the boy snatched both his sword and Bonnibel’s dagger, briefly searching for the stake before remembering that the Usurper had crushed it to splinters. Which was just as well, because the dog had taken the vampire’s warning very seriously and had not stopped to wait for him to be ready; instead he just grabbed his brother, diving out of the window to join his friends. His normally graceful landing was marred by his injured leg, and he dropped Finn part way, landing on top of him.

Upon landing Jake braced for the impending chaos, but when nothing happened he looked around, frowning in disappointment. “Uh… what-”

But the Unifier wasn’t done; she was already clearing the castle’s vicinity with alarming speed, still carrying the princess. “MOVE!” This time it was Finn’s turn to grab Jake, who dove into the boy’s backpack after shrinking down to make the escape easier and thus less likely to end in failure. They stopped only when they reached the outer ring, close to the moat. 

Still seeing nothing dangerous Finn’s face set into one of determination. “So, what-” He didn’t get to finish his question for it to be answered. A large black bat was hurdling from the sky at alarming speed, aimed directly for the tallest tower. It was impossible to see its orientation from their vantage point, but its force of impact was momentous, the resulting shockwave powerful enough to force Finn, Jake, and Bubblegum into involuntary coughing fits from the vibration. By the time they regained control of their lungs the Candy Kingdom castle lay in ruins, having been demolished by the Usurper’s strike. She laughed, pumping her arm in the air and whooping in delight before taking for the sky, disappearing once more.

Jake slowly exited the backpack, three sets of eyes stayed glued to the destruction before them, none able to fully comprehend what they were seeing. If it had been hard to see the Kingdom corrupted it was impossible to see it so utterly broken, destroyed as an aftershock by a madwoman that took the appearance of such a dear friend. Only the Unifier wasn’t watching, for her focus was somewhere else entirely.

Finn.

Without a sound she gently placed Bonnibel on the hard ground before floating to the boy. Her voice was quiet and controlled, a tone that instantly sent a chill down his spine. Despite the devastation before them all three quickly turned to the vampire when she spoke.

“Let me see it.”

At first he considered playing dumb, pretending not to know what she was talking about. He may not know much about the relationship between the princess and the queen, and his natural inclination may be to prevent any and all fighting between friends, but this situation felt different to him. This wasn’t about convincing Marceline to get new dishware, this was a serious topic that predated him by hundreds of years. As much as it pained him he knew, deep down, that stalling would do absolutely nothing to help anyone. He may not have understood the severity of the situation, but he could see the hardened look in his friend’s eyes, a look he had seen before but never where the princess was involved. Whatever was happening was big, much bigger than him.  _ Sorry, Peebs…  _ With a resigned sigh he took off his hat, wrapping the dagger securely before handing it to the Unifier without meeting her gaze. She took it carefully, unwrapping it slowly to reveal not the blade - she already knew that was sterling silver - but the hilt. For too long she stared at it, then lifted her head to watch Bonnibel. The princess’s eyes were downcast, unable to look at her vampire.

“You told me you got rid of it. You promised me you would.”

Bonnibel said nothing, eyes closing in resignation.  _ I just… I thought... _

“You told me that you trusted me. That I wasn’t a monster to you, that I was your…”

Bonnibel said nothing, and she didn’t finish that sentence.  _ Marcy, please don’t... _

“You know… when you showed me this dagger originally you never showed me the hilt. You never showed me the inscription. ‘Notfallplan’, huh? You wanna tell our friends what that means?”

Bonnibel said nothing and garnet eyes narrowed. 

“Tell them what it means, Bonnibel, or I will!,” she barked. 

Resigned to her fate, the response was soft. “...In this context it means-” 

“Louder, Bubblegum, so everyone can hear you!”

The princess took a steeling breath and looked up. “‘Contingency plan.’ It means ‘contingency plan’.”

Finn wanted nothing more at that moment than to leave, give the two space to talk it out, to have their fight and patch it up so they could go back to the cave and regroup. Because more than anything right then the young hero needed his friends together; Marceline was still alive, but he was tired of seeing his friends butchered, and he just wanted to reassert that at least they had each other, that a setback was just a setback. Jake must have sensed his internal struggle because he felt a paw on his shoulder. But he was unable to move, didn’t even know where to begin with this mess.

Bonnibel finally looked up to meet her girlfriend’s eye, but when she found broke her heart. Or, rather, what she didn’t find. Even at their nastiest, most brutal fights, even when Marceline had spat on her, there was always that glimmer of affection in those eyes, even if it was masked by sadness, pain, or anger. There was always some signal that things would be alright, that whatever row they were knee-deep in was ultimately temporary; after all, with two immortal beings, how could any argument be anything but? It was at that moment the younger woman realized how much she had come to rely on Marceline’s forgiving nature, a nature reserved for her alone.  _ Maybe… in the back of my mind I just expected her to forgive me for this as well.  _ But she saw no affection in those eyes. She didn’t even see sadness, pain, or anger.

She saw utter indifference.

It was painful, more painful than anything the candy monarch had ever experienced in her hundreds of years of life. She recalled the memories of their budding relationship as they evolved from allies to mates. The countless demons slain in her name. The many,  _ many  _ times Marceline almost got herself killed only to whine to Bonnibel to make it better. The many,  _ many  _ times Bonnibel almost got herself killed only to pout when Marceline made it better. She remembered the first time they met, the first time they made love, the first time they fought, the first time they made up. She thought of how she helped the vampire develop and learn to control her powers, and how they had literally built a home for one another. The experiments the half-demon endured, the rock concerts the scientist learned were acquired tastes. How when Marceline had convinced Finn to release rabid wolves into her bedchamber as a prank she had retaliated by redecorating the cave until everything was pink, even the floorboards.

She remembered when she lost control of her own powers and turned everything into candy. So many were furious with the princess but Marceline remained her staunchest defender; the one person who should have been the most angry with her instead asserting that she ‘remembered it being fun’. Her story of almost getting caught shoving a camera in Cinnamon Bun’s face to promote her campaign of spying on the Fire Kingdom. Of how elated the undead monarch had been to receive her custom-designed amp for a birthday everyone - even Marceline herself - had forgotten but oh, not Bubblegum, she would never forget her girlfriend’s birthday, how her eyes had lit up.

But when she looked into her girlfriend’s eyes now she saw utter indifference.  _ What have I done…? _

“...Marcy-”

“Don’t Marcy me!” Bonnibel was not the only member of the group to wince. Not breaking her stare the Unifier shoved both the hat and dagger into Finn’s chest. There was a long stretch of silence before the vampire lifted her hands to the group. “I’m done.” With that she turned back towards the Thorn Wall. “I’ll lead you all back to the cave so you can get your crud out of my brain but then I want you all out.” She didn’t need to shout to impress upon the venomous tone. 

Finn quickly looked between the half-demon and the princess once, then twice, offered a desperate shrug to Jake, then turned to catch up. “Marceline! Wait!” As the scene unfolded Bonnibel Bubblegum could only watch frozen as half of her stormed away, knowing it had no intention of returning. She spoke to herself in a strained whisper, laced with despair.

“I blew it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Dead:
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Dead:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	8. For Every Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: So the last chapter was pretty dark, right? This is slightly less dark, but still, no happiness to be found here, even if you squint really hard. But first things first, thank you all SO much for all your comments and kudos! As my thank you I thought I would do something pretty fun with this chapter. I also received a lot of positivity about my statement on other stories of mine coming into play, so I'm going to do something I said I'd never do: This chapter has a couple of references to FUTURE stories that will be written, including chapter 3 of Love Song. I originally resisted doing this because I didn't want to write myself into a corner, but it seemed popular, so what the heck.
> 
> Seriously though, you guys made my day(s); it takes a long time for me to write these, and it means a lot to me to know that Rehearsal is making so many people happy. I'll do my best to continue writing a good story for you.
> 
> Content warnings:
> 
> Psychological Torture  
> References to Future Stories  
> References to Past Stories (don't worry, it's pretty obvious)  
> A Wild Marceline Appears!  
> Feels  
> Exposition

**** “Marceline! Marce, wait up!”

The Unifier didn’t wait up, didn’t break her brisk stride, didn’t turn to look back. She knew Finn was following her - they all would be soon enough - but she had no intention of holding a meaningful conversation with any of them. If it were up to her she’d kick them all out then and there, but there was no way of knowing what might happen if they left anything behind in her mind when they departed, and she was neither willing to find out for herself nor ask Bonnibel Bubblegum for the answer. Part of her knew that this wasn’t Finn’s fault, and that ignoring him wasn’t fair to her friend, but her patience was spent and she wanted nothing more than to go home and dive into her music until she passed out. Or kick in every single window that revealed memories of Bonnibel, but she just didn’t have that kind of energy at the moment. Truth be told, she wouldn’t know where to begin finding them all, and one remaining was one too many. She was livid, exhausted, and still had to guide the trio back through the Thorn Wall. True, she had managed to regain flight, but she was too emotionally drained to actually enjoy that right now, especially when it came from such a violent end to one of the only allies she had in this world.

“Come on, Marce!”

With a groan she stopped mid-air, turning and glaring at the young hero. “What, Finn?!” In the back of her mind she chastised herself for her own acridity, a new sensation she didn’t like feeling and so promptly ignored. 

Not that it actually dissuaded the human from approaching her; either he was immune to her intimidation techniques or his natural desire to ‘be a helper’, as he once put it, overrode his fear. He stopped before her, doubled over, trying to catch his breath. “Th...thanks. Man, I forgot how fast you are when you float.” She didn’t respond to that, nor did she drop her glare. He still either didn’t notice or didn’t care. His eyes were full of worry, his voice a controlled calm. “Come on, Marce…” His tone was almost pleading and she crossed her arms in pre-defiance of whatever it was he was about to say. That was also ignored. “Look, I don’t know exactly what just happened back there, but you’re worrying me, man.” 

She could feel herself bristle. “I’m not going back there, Finn.” 

He shook his head sadly. “Nah, that’s not what I mean, Marcy. What’s happening between you and Peebles is your biz. I’m worried about  _ you _ .” That gave her pause, and he took that as a good sign. “You just saw yourself get wasted, and I’m gonna guess that getting a piece of your soul back isn’t some quick thing. Growing pains, you know? And then that thing with the princess just happened. So, I’m worried about you.”

Maybe it was how earnest he sounded, or the concern in his eyes that looked genuine. Maybe it was growing pains, and she was influenced by the only part of her that was any semblance of good. Most likely, though, it was the understand that she had seen him fall apart twice in as many days, and even she knew it would be messed up pretend nothing was wrong when it so obviously was. In the distance she could see Jake talking with Bonnibel, and knew it meant that her own conversation wouldn’t be interrupted. Finn smiled internally when he saw her land, even if her arms will still crossed. “Finn, you can’t get it.” 

He smiled softly. “So tell me anyway. You didn’t know what was going on with me in PB’s spy room, but you still listened.” 

She groaned at his logic, knowing that she couldn’t refute it without looking like a dweeb. “Look. Short version. When Bonnie-” She stopped then, because that person in the distance wasn’t ‘Bonnie’. Not anymore. “...When Bubblegum and I first met she didn’t trust me, which was cool, because I didn’t trust her either. You know how vampires can get ended by silver?” He nodded. “Well, that thing,” she pointed to the dagger, still wrapped in his hat and in his arms, “is sterling. It’s basically super-silver. You know, kind of lethal.” With no hesitation he removed his backpack, unzipped it, wrapped the dagger in the white towel and tucked it inside carefully, a gesture the vampire didn’t miss. He returned his hat to its rightful place. “When we met we didn’t trust each other, and I didn’t blame her. I’m pretty awesome, but way stronger than her, and I didn’t have a lot of control over my powers yet.” She expected him to comment, maybe ask questions about their early days, but when he didn’t she decided it was worth continuing. “So she had that dagger made, just in case I flipped. I wasn’t even mad when she showed me, even though that was way later. By then we were pretty close, so I figured, ‘well, as long as she gets rid of it now, we’re cool.’ She promised she would. Even gave me an elaborate story about how she got rid of it. I trusted her. She was my best friend…” 

Finn frowned in thought. “But… there are other things that could end you. Like Pep-Buts oddly elaborate collection of stakes and garlic bombs. You didn’t think that was a big deal…” He expected her to yell, but she only looked away and he had an epiphany. “...It’s not about how super-deadly it is.” 

“Finn, the inscription says ‘Notfallplan’. That’s ‘contingency plan’ in German. When she showed it to me…” She paused. “When she showed it to me she covered the hilt, and like a sucker I didn’t think to look. I just… believed her. But she lied to me.” Finn didn’t know how to tactfully inform her that lying was just something the princess did, but fortunately she beat him to the punch. It broke his heart to hear the despair in her now quiet voice. “Bubblegum lies to peeps. I don’t think she can help it. I don’t think she even knows she’s doing it half the time. It’s why I let it go.” She shook her head. “But this isn’t cool. She was always adamant that she’d never lie to me on purpose. Okay, yeah, she lies by omission, like when she didn’t tell me she got throne-jacked by the King of Stupid for two months, but…” 

“This is different.” 

A deep sigh. “Yeah. Why keep something like that at all if you don’t plan to use it one day? Before we went after the Usurper if someone had told me that Bonnie- ...that Bubblegum was using me I’d have punched them in their stupid face. Hard. But… it’s something she’s done before, to other people. I just… didn’t think she’d do it to-” Finn didn’t let her finish, instead hugging her tightly. After a long hesitation she offered a loose one in return. When they separated she began floating again. “I can’t go back to Ooo, Finn. I didn’t even want to in the first place. I super-don’t want to now.”

Finn nodded understandingly, but his mind was racing, desperate to think of a way to change his friend’s mind.  _ What I need… is a distraction!  _ “I get it, Marce. How about…” His eyes lit up with an idea. “Oh! I know! How about a movie night?” She stared at him. “No, hear me out! We’re all mega tired, right? Why don’t we just chill at your house for the night, watch some movies, catch some zzs, and then we’ll go back?” When she hesitated without outright rejecting him he took it as a good sign. “Jake and I are going to miss you, Marce. If you don’t want to come back I’m not going to try to make you. So just one movie night like the old days, then we’ll go back to Ooo and you can stay here.” Marceline wanted to argue with him. She hadn’t been lying when she told them that she wanted them all gone as soon as they got back. But it was hard to argue with Finn’s logic; they were all tired and, princess notwithstanding, she was going to miss the two heroes. Not enough to go back to Ooo, but enough to weigh his request carefully.

“...Alright. One movie night.”

While Finn had run after the undead queen Jake had taken it upon himself to comfort the princess. He began by placing a paw on his shoulder. “I’m not gonna lie. Everyone saw that.” He continued when Bubblegum didn’t stop him.  “Just give her some time to cool off. Then grovel. That always worked for dad.” 

Her laugh was bitter. “Does that work with Lady?” 

“Oh, I’ve never gonked things up this badly with Lady before.”

“Natch.” 

He frowned at both the deja vu and the pleading look she was giving Marceline. “How bad is it, Bubblegum?” 

“It’s… not great.” 

“How not great?” 

She sighed, sitting on the ground, drawing her knees to her chest. “I should never have made that dagger. No, that’s not right. More accurately, making it was a great idea at the time, I just should have it when I promised her I would.” 

He sat next to her. “Yeah, what’s the deal with that thing anyway?” 

She lifted her head to the dust-caked sky, trying to think of the best way to phrase her transgression. “When Marcy and I first met we didn’t exactly get along.” 

“Yeah, she’s a blood-thirsty vampire.” 

Bonnibel’s smile was derisive.  _ You have no idea, Jake.  _ Knowing it best not to say that, she continued. “Not all the time. It’s hard to catch her being something other than destructive or instigating-” 

“Yeah, I remember when she told Finn to put wolves in your bedroom.” 

Her look became one of disdain. “Yeah, thanks Jake.” 

“While you were sleeping.” 

“I remember, Jake.” He nodded, but fell silent, so she carried on with her story. “It’s true that she has a temper, and can never take anything seriously. But she’s the most loyal person I know, and she can be fiercely protective and gentle to those she cares deeply for.” 

To her surprise, the dog nodded his agreement. “Yeah, I know.” 

Her head came to rest on her knees. “When we first met we didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye, and I knew I had to prepare for the likelihood that one day she would turn on me, so I commissioned the dagger. It’s sterling silver and… well, you saw how badly it hurt the Usurper, and she can heal. But… I expected her to be furious when I finally revealed it, but she forgave me immediately.” Her sigh was heartfelt, and she hugged her knees tighter. “She always forgave me…” 

“But she wanted you to get rid of it, huh?” 

“I promised her I would. But I just… kept it. I don’t know why.”

He tilted his head. “And now she’s hurt, and she’s never been this hurt by you before so she’s not dealing well.” 

Needing a distraction from her own caustic thoughts, she ran her hand on the ground, not knowing how much information she should reveal. “She wants us to leave. If we do…” That sentence wasn’t finished, it finally hitting the princess that it was entirely likely that she might never spend another day in the lab comforted by a bass, never spend another night in grey arms, never- 

“Ah, don’t worry. Finn’s on the case.” 

She snapped out of her thoughts, raising her eyebrow at her champion. “...Finn.” 

“Oh yeah, Finn’s great at this kind of stuff. You know, emotions and junk.” 

“...With Marceline.” 

Whatever response Jake had was interrupted by Finn jogging over to the two, sans vampire. “Okay guys, here’s the ‘sup. I got Marceline to agree to a movie night!” 

Jake grinned, exchanging a high five. “See Bubblegum? It’s like I said!” 

She frowned. “Jake, I fail to see how a movie night-” 

“Because it means she isn’t kicking us out as soon as we get back like she said.” 

Now she understood. “I have time.” 

“Yup! So if I were you, I’d start thinking about what to say to turn this mess around.” 

She was still rising when the duo took off to join Marceline, following them slowly as she tried to breakdown the situation; even without natural insight into the inner-workings of heartgut emotions she knew that time was a factor, not only because she was going to be evicted soon but because the longer she took to rectify the situation the longer the wound she inflicted on her vampire would fester.  _ What do I say to her? How can I possibly justify my behavior? I knew this would be bad, but I didn’t think…  _ The princess frowned.  _ Maybe I didn’t think, and that’s the problem. I made assumptions based on prior experiences and expected them to hold true, ignoring that the variables of this situation are different.  _ Her overractive mind began to race with possibility: possible questions, possible explanations, possible justifications. The first step, she knew, was to pinpoint the exact moment everything went wrong.  _ I assumed that she would forgive me based on our history with one another. Is that where I went wrong? Did I misunderstand the importance of the weapon itself? And when the fudge did she learn to speak Ger- _

“Yo! Peebles!” Her attention was immediately drawn to Finn; at some point during her reverie she had met up with the rest of the group, and they now stood in front of the Thorn Wall. She noted that the dagger appeared missing, but reasoned that the boy had wrapped it in the towel in his backpack, reclaiming his beloved hat in the process. Both he and his brother were giving her encouraging smiles, Jake’s eyes shifting rapidly between the two monarchs. Marceline’s attention was focused entirely on the Wall itself. Bonnibel tried telling herself that this wasn’t personal, that the vampire had been engrossed in it before they entered the first time as well, but it was becoming harder to believe her own lies now that she was experiencing the devastation they could leave in their wake first hand. The half-demon was tense, her jaw set, her hands clenched. Her eyes revealed how tired she really was; Marceline could try to hide from Bubblegum’s observant gaze, but centuries of reading the other woman made the younger woman an expert on her potentially-former lover’s mental states, and what she saw broke her heart.

Before she could think of something useful to say the rockstar spoke, her voice tight, controlled, and uncharacteristic. “Okay, here’s how this works. We’re going through the Thorn Wall. None of you are going to look at anything. You’re going to stay attached to me. You’re going to follow me and not do anything you hear or feel because if you wander away I’m not going after you.” She sounded serious. “Nothing can hurt you if you don’t give it the chance.” Bonnibel wondered if that was a subtle jab aimed at herself, if her maybe-ex-girlfriend was trying to tell her something about their relationship status, but decided that either she was reading too much into it or that this wasn’t the time to psychoanalyze the half-demon.  _ I suppose it doesn’t matter. She still won’t look at me. _

She tore her gaze away from the queen when Finn held up the white cloth to her, taking it with a sad smile that he immediately understood. Jake cracked his knuckles and prepared to dive into the backpack, but was stopped by Marceline’s frown. “What do you do in there, anyway?” 

“I’ll shows ya!” He unzipped the compartment he had previously been hiding in and removed something that made the vampire’s gaze soften, but the princess’s angle, coupled with Finn’s physical position obscuring her view, made it impossible to see what. 

“Yeah, that makes sense. And that works?” He nodded happily. “Alright, go in. See you after.” As before, the dog shrunk until he could fit snugly, retrieving the safety pin for his brother to securely lock him in place. Task complete, the hero helped the princess with her blindfold before sliding his backpack on and securing his own sight with his hat. His progress was marked as complete by Marceline taking his remaining arm, followed by Bonnibel’s sleeve, an absence of contact that the younger woman failed to miss. “Alright losers, let’s go.” With a gentle tug both Finn and Bonnibel were pulled forward.

It was impossible for Finn to miss when they crossed the threshold through the Gate. All at once he felt himself drowning in his own repressed emotions, his conscious brain taking a backseat to the parts that he thought he could control, or at least repress into harmlessness. He mentally braced for the impact, prepared for the onslaught of reminders of times passed, dreading whatever the Gate would feed off of. Finn was young, true, but he was no stranger to tragedy and horror, and he surmised that this meant there was ample ammo at the Gate’s disposal with which to torture him. Yet this experience was different; whereas before he was haunted by memories he was now plagued with anxiety of the future, forced now to confront his fear of failing others.  _ I can’t believe that we came all this way… and in the end we couldn’t do anything to save Marceline. We blazed in, promised to help, and now it’s worse than ever. She lost her only ally, and now B-gum. She had to watch herself die, and I couldn’t do nuts about it!  _ He felt his heart sink as he recalled the look on Marceline’s face when she was killed.  _ Did she suffer? Did it hurt? It had to.  _ His breath hitched, but steadied when he felt a cool hand squeeze his and not let go until he squeezed back.

_ Even if… even if she said she didn’t want us to help she still let us. She trusted us! Now she’s going to be more alone than ever. And PB…  _ He fought the temptation to remove his hat just long enough to turn to his princess, just to see how she was coping.  _ She’s not going to get over this. I’ve never seen her look like that. What’ll happen when we get home?  _ That thought made him grimace.  _ Is it still home if all my buds aren’t there?  _ He knew he sighed, but the sound failed to reach his ears.  _ Some hero I am. I couldn’t even rescue my ladybro from herself. Couldn’t save Fern, couldn’t save Marceline… probably can’t save Peebles either. I couldn’t even save mom-  _ It was that traitorous phrase that gave him pause and he blinked hard, something deep within him almost snapping into place.  _ Wait… that’s wrong! Mom didn’t need to be saved! She chose to stay behind because she knew she needed to help the other humans! She was a helper… and she said I’m one too.  _ He focused then, pushing past the fog in his mind, concentrating on remembering his mother, his human mother. Her smile, her voice, her blessing to go into the world and do what he did best: be a hero.  _ No! I still have time! Marce is letting us stay the night, and lots of things can happen in a night! Good things! I can still save her, we can still work together as bros and make this work!  _ He smiled to himself.  _ She’ll come back. She and the princess will work it out. This isn’t the end. _

This time he squeezed the vampire’s hand first.

As Finn began to feel the fog lift from his mind the princess felt a vice tighten in her’s. Her first trip through the Thorn Wall saw her mind activate against her wishes; not an unwelcome feeling per se, but it had been leading her down a dark path, a path that tempted her to abandon her quest to save her queen by reminding her of what it meant to be a scientist and a person of logic and reason. She could feel empathy slip away, feel emotions detach in favor of the scientific gaze she so often adopted when she had a mission, a task to complete where emotions would compromise her work. It had taken everything she had to release that vice, to untrap those pieces of her that made her a person and not just a woman of facts and logic. The parts of her that the vampire nurtured, that, realistically, probably would not have flourished without her intervention.

How different this experience was.

The vice had been replaced, and now she felt herself suffocate under the weight of her own memories, deafened by the sounds of her own callous indifference. When they first crossed the Gate Marceline had warned the group that they may hear things that were not real, experiences they had to tune out lest they become hopelessly lost. Some part of the princess had assumed the undead monarch had been exaggerating just a tad; she just could not understand how audio hallucinations could break a mind, at least one as rational and analytical as her’s. Surely, she had reasoned, if you can break a situation down to its core components it would lose its ability to harm you, especially if the damage inflicted last no physical marks. Now she realized the insidious nature of the Thorn Wall, because she was surrounded now with reminders of her relationship with the older woman. She could hear conversations long since passed, eliciting emotions she thought she had buried for being an inconvenience, and she was powerless to drown out the sound.

_ What happened to the spy system? _

_ Phoebe found out. She thinks I’m a bad person. ...Am I a bad person, Marce? _

_ I don’t think so, Bon. You just did what you thought you needed to to keep everyone safe. Yeah, it probably went a little far… but it’s just a mistake, you know? It’s easy for her to judge. She hasn’t had to deal with the biz you have. _

The princess’s smile was bitter.

_ Why is my house pink?! _

_ You put wolves in my bedroom! _

_ I mean… Finn did. _

_ You told him to! _

_...Sort of? _

The bitter smile turned sad.

_ You’re right. The stars are more beautiful up here. _

_ See? Told you that you needed a break. _

As the memories turned to center on her own neglect, Bonnibel began to understand why Marceline covered her own with such thick plates.

_ Bon! I found this killer spot for the meteors- _

_ Not now, Marceline, I’m working. _

_ I know, I’m just let- _

_ I’ll be working all night on this. It’s very important. _

_ You’re not going to take a break? We do this ever- _

_ We’ll do it next year. _

She bit her tongue in a vain attempt to focus on something, anything else.

_ Man, the demons are getting stupi- _

_ Can you handle it on your own? _

_ Yeah, but it’s hilari- _

_ That’s fine, you can deal with it. _

Biting her tongue wasn’t working.

_ Is… that why you stopped talking to me? _

Now she understood: It was the pain of watching the memory of those you loved that you would never see again, the forced confrontation of all of your failures as a person and a friend. Marceline had lost the places and people she cared about many times over, and the candy golem doubted then that she could continue to cope with the losses, could no longer view the memories, even the happy ones, as anything but painful, anything but a perpetual reminder of what was missing and what would never return. It was only as she passed through the Thorn Wall that Bonnibel realized that she had based her own actions on yet another assumption.  _ Marceline ran from her problems not because it was easier than owning up to them, but as a survival mechanism. It was no different than shielding a wound from potential further damage. _

Her eyes shut as another memory, this one a mere day old, emerged. Immediately, the princess tried to push the memory away, understanding now what the vampire hadn’t finished saying. She was not successful.

_You know what I want._ _I want you._

_ You have me. _

_ You know what I mean, Marcy. _

She squeezed the cool hand holding her’s, but was too lost in her reverie to register if it squeezed back.

_...I’m sorry, Bon. _

Now she understood why her maybe-ex-mate bit her cheek when she could not handle her emotional toil; it was quite cathartic, especially as Bonnibel came to the unpleasant realization that, in spite of everything, a part of Marceline had to believe that this was her fault. Bubblegum resolved to find which part that was and correct it.  _ How much of our relationship has been based on my unfair assumptions? I’m a scientist, glob it! I’m supposed to observe and form hypotheses and theories based on results, not predetermined judgment!  _ She bit her cheek again.  _...Am I doing it again? Am I treating her like a science project even now? Great job, Bubblegum.  _ She tried to tell herself that it was the influence of the Gate, but wasn’t terribly successful. Mercifully, the vice suddenly released, signaling that they were clear of the horrible thorns. This was confirmed for her when the undead hand dropped and her blindfold was abruptly removed.

Vision restored, what she saw made her frown in concern. When they first traversed the Thorn Wall Marceline had seen fit to clear the vicinity, bringing them through the Candy Kingdom moat into the gate proper. This time, however, she had released them just outside of the Gate, having barely cleared it. Although the vampire wouldn’t look at her Bubblegum could see why; her maybe-lover’s eyes were as glassy as they were unfocused, her hand was trembling slightly, and she was staring at the Thorn Wall almost longingly. The princess almost reached out to her, stopping herself when she understood that doing so, given their current relationship status, might do more harm than good.  _ What do you see when you go through the Gate, Marcy? _

Her trance was broken when Jake poked his head from the backpack, yawning and lamenting his hunger and lack of snacks. Now his normal size, he tilted his head at his undead friend. “You all there?” 

That got her attention and she smirked at what she could only assume was a poorly-phrased joke. “Nope.” 

He merely nodded, clapping his paws together. “Alright, let’s go back to the place not trying to kill us!” 

As he began to abuse his powers once again, giving him twenty times the size and strength, the vampire tensed, scanning the area quickly. “...Yeah. I’m going ahead. Just… to scope things out.” 

There was no time to object as she floated ahead of them. There was a mutual worry through the three outsiders that she planned to abandon them to make her ‘go home’ demand apparent, but there was mutual dismissal of this suspicion when she stopped before leaving their field of vision. Finn allowed himself to be scooped by his brother, helping the princess onto his back in the process, once again taking his spot on the literal rear. “What’s Marce doing?” 

Bonnibel frowned as she watched. “I think she’s looking for the cause of that noise we heard earlier.” 

Jake blinked. “Yeah, I’m gonna pretend no one said that.” Nodding to himself he began to follow the queen, who commenced the journey back to the cave when she realized she had an audience, keeping her distance from her friends.

Finn alternated between scanning the landscape and watching Marceline. “What do you think the noise thing is?” 

Jake groaned. “Man, can we not talk about it?” Both the human and the princess exchanged a look, indicating to one another how much they wanted to know but recognizing that now was not the time. Instead the boy kept one hand ready to draw his sword, the candy monarch abruptly aware that, for the first time since the journey began, she was truly weaponless. She almost asked Finn to return her dagger, but her diplomatic instincts kicked in when she realized how much in poor taste such a request would be, even if it was made for legitimate reasons. The last thing she wanted to do was remind the rocker of her betrayal when Finn had worked so hard to give her extra time to clean up her mess. She needed something else to focus on, and the younger hero was happy to oblige. 

“Jake, what were you even doing in the backpack?”

“Come on bro, use your sticky fingers - yeah, I know - and look.” 

The sound of the zipper was quickly replaced with a soft laugh. “Aw…” 

Curious, the princess shifted her position to peek behind her, beholding a photograph that featured Jake, Lady, and the pupsters smiling happily - except for Kim Kil Whan. “Yup, you just gotta focus on what you have!” The elder brother nodded to himself, as if he had just revealed a great life lesson. 

Maybe he had, but there was no time to ponder that mystery; they had crossed the threshold back into the city, and Marceline had moved to a higher state of alert, silently cursing her inability to shapeshift as she was forced to rely on her sensitive hearing and keep sense of sight alone. This, in turn, caused Finn’s own sense of alert to increase; there didn’t seem to be any sign of an enemy, but what would he know?  _ In this world that doesn’t mean squat, especially if Marce is that on edge.  _ He resisted the urge to call out to her and get a status update, knowing that such an action would be counter-productive. When she relaxed and returned to the group he relaxed as well. “Alright, let’s go, losers. I’m done with the city.” Not waiting for a response she turned, flying back in the direction of the cage far enough to avoid conversation yet close enough to remain in sight.

The rest of the journey was uneventful, the three having grown used to the ruins and chaos that was the city. Having learned not to look at the graffiti, ignore the smell of fire, and discount the stagnant air, the landscape had become almost normalized, a phenomenon that the princess was fascinated by. It was growing apparent how Marceline had become so accustomed to her new world, how she had come to forget what the real world actually looked like, and Bonnibel began to suspect that there would need to be some rehabilitation involved once she brought her home.  _ You promised me, Marceline. I’m holding you to it, no matter what.  _ As she began to mentally strategize how best to reintroduce the vampire to the real world the group arrived at the cave entrance, Jake breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of it. “I missed you, cave!” Finn thought he saw tears in his eyes as his brother began to stretched back down the tunnel, Marceline taking the lead.

To the collective relief of the four nothing had changed in their absence, and Marceline didn’t hesitate to return to her home. For a brief moment she considered once again evicting the three then and there, only stopping when she recalled her promised to Finn for one last movie night. She begrudgingly held the door for the rest of the group, who were only too happy to return to what was most likely the only safe location in the otherwise hostile world. No sooner had he entered the home Jake plopped on the still-soft couch, groaning in relief. Seeing her eye twitch once again Bonnibel scooted him off of the center. When she sat down in his place Marceline gave her a hard look, but when it failed to rouse the princess from her spot she gave up, deciding it not worth it when she’d be leaving soon enough. For a brief moment she hoped the trio had forgotten about her relenting on their expulsion in favor of a movie night, but Finn’s puppy dog eyes indicated she would have no such luck. She groaned in surrender. “Alright, fine. I’ll go get movies.” 

Jake grinned when she floated to her bedroom. “I’ll go find snacks!” He was up and running towards the kitchen before Finn could remind him that there would probably be no snacks, given their location. This left him alone with Bonnibel, who was staring at the trap door longingly.

It was awkward to say the least, but Finn was a boy on a mission. Even if that mission was helping his once-serious object of affection reconcile with his best ladybro. Romantically. He cleared his throat softly. “It’ll be alright, Peebles. You got this.” 

She smiled sadly at him. “Finn, your optimism is refreshing, but realistically-” 

He waved his hand at her. “Nuts to realism! What’s reality ever done for us?”

She arched an eyebrow. “Finn, regardless of the situation-” 

He waved his hand again. “This is heartguts stuff. Reality’s got nothing.” 

She gave him a pointed look. “Finn, I hardly think-” 

The hand again as Jake returned to the room with a bowl of popcorn in one hand, large soda bottles in a second and third, and a plate of hotdogs and buns in a fourth. “Nah, Finn’s right, Bubblegum. If you wanna do some smoochin’ you gotta-” 

“Is this about the lute suit again?” 

His eyes shifted as he placed his food on the table. “...No?” 

Bonnibel was about to respond with her disdain for the ridiculous outfit when she realized that he had found actual food. “Jake, where did you find these?” 

He indicated the kitchen with his paw. “The cabinets are full of food now! Someone up there likes Jake!” Finn immediately understood her skepticism; when they left the kitchen had been wiped clean, courtesy of Jake and Jake’s Stomach.

When Marceline returned to the room carrying an armful of video tapes she seemed just as confused. “You fit all this in your bag, Finn?” 

He tilted his head. “Jake says he found it all in the kitchen.”

She frowned. “There wasn’t anything in my kitchen.” 

“That’s what I said!” 

Jake was already eating popcorn. “Like I said, someone up there likes Jake!” 

She balked at him, but shook her head. “Like I said, not possible.” 

“Your brain doesn’t want us to starve!” 

“Why would you starve if this is just my mind?” “I don’t know, it’s your mind.” 

Finn watched the exchange.  _ This is getting us nowhere.  _ “Marce, what do you have?” In response she dumped the movie pile on the table, next to the food, and he immediately dove in, looking elated. “You got the good stuff, Marce!” He began to hold up various video tapes as he spoke. “ _ The Inspector Inspector _ ,  _ Hamster Death Racing: The Movie _ ,  _ Shark in the Park _ ,  _ They Were Once Zombies But Now They’re Airline Pilots _ ,  _ It Happened _ ,  _ It Came from the Zoo…”  _ His eyes lit up as he held up a tape. “This is the one!  _ Scream Up in Aisle 13! _ ” Bonnibel’s look was of utter disdain.  _ Horror. Great. Thanks, Finn.  _ Horror had never been a favorite of the princess, despite her scientific engagements; she was quite adamant that her own sins were entirely different, and thus acceptable, and she wasn’t about to change her opinion now.

Not waiting for permission from his friends Finn immediately retrieved the television from its corner, glad that it and its tape player set-up was no different from its real-world counterpart. As he fiddled with the device Jake sprawled over the couch, legs draped over the center. Having no tactful way of removing him without surrounding herself with the boys Bubblegum chose the large chair as her seat. Once Finn had the tape up and running he joined his brother on the couch, grabbing a hotdog, shoving popcorn between it and the bun. Like Jake, his legs spread across the couch’s middle, just in case the vampire had gotten any bright ideas about avoiding the princess. He had even had the forethought to angle the television in such a way that sitting on the opposite end of the room would make it impossible to see, something the vampire seemed to miss but the younger monarch did not. She made a mental note to thank Finn later when the queen, defeated, took to floating next to the princess’s makeshift throne, though her apprehension was palpable. 

When the first jump scare reared its ugly head Bubblegum had the sinking feeling that she was on her own for this movie; whenever the once-her’s vampire had subjected her to the horror genre the princess would, inevitably, cling to her, a discovery the older woman continued to taunt her about to the modern day. Yet perhaps it was out of mercy, or maybe nostalgia, but as the movie progressed Marceline allowed the princess to cling to her arm. She was tense throughout, but did not pull away, and the shorter woman was grateful. Once the terrible film was mercifully over Bonnibel pulled away quickly, both because she not entirely sure she could handle the rejection from her former-lover pulling away first and to indicate that she respected the boundaries Marceline had established. She tried not to smile when the vampire failed to move from her seat when the next movie began, despite their proximity. Bubblegum was sure Finn’s movie choices had something to do with this; he seemed to be taking great care in the order he was selecting from the movie pile, and by the midpoint of the second movie Marceline had visibly relaxed, now laying in the air as opposed to sitting ramrod straight.

Feeling a bit bolder the princess shifted her own position, nestling in the couch with her head resting on the armrest closest to the half-demon. When this failed to elicit a reaction her smile grew.  _ Maybe… maybe I can fix this. Maybe I can convince her to forgive me.  _ In the back of her mind she registered that she was running out of time, but the logical part kicked the concern away in the most soul-crushing of ways.  _ If I can’t… this may be the last time we do something like this. Maybe I should just… enjoy it. Just in case.  _ She didn’t let her smile waver, but she felt tears sting her eyes and it took more effort than she’d care to admit to push them back. Out of the corner of her eye she took in the sight of the queen that was once her’s, trying to commit her smile to memory, her laugh at the comedy Finn had just popped in, how relaxed she looked lounging in midair. Her expression when the boy threw popcorn at her and she threw it back hard, but it was just popcorn so it just stung him at best and he clearly thought that was hilarious. Jake shaking his head as he pulled them apart while they stuck their tongues at one another tauntingly, like children. 

She longed to commit the feel of her to memory, to just hold her hand again to burn into her mind what her skin felt like, the force of her reassuring squeeze. By now she was watching Marceline more than the movie, unable to stop running through all of the experiences they would never share again.  _ I wonder if she’ll miss my heartbeat as much as I’ll miss her playing.  _ That was another thing she longed for one last time as well, but knew it would be garish to ask of her, given the circumstances of their breaku-  _ No. I’m not calling it that. I still have tonight.  _ If the vampire noticed her distress she said nothing, and that hurt as well. She abandoned the movie entirely, curling in the chair in a subconscious attempt to edge herself closer to the half-demon, encouraged once more when she did not pull away. Bonnibel realized then how tired she was, how much of the day had eaten into her, and this alarmed her.  _ I can’t fall asleep! Not yet! She’s so close… I just need to think of… something…  _ Her eyes slid shut, opening again sometime later when Marceline tackled Jake, who was laughing at something uproariously. “I’ll kill you!” She raised an eyebrow at Finn in a silent question, who shook his head in a silent reply of ‘don’t ask’ as the vampire trapped his brother in a headlock. When he yawned she released him.

“Alright nerds, time for bed.” Bubblegum felt herself panic when she saw the vampire float upstairs, only to breathe a sigh of relief when she returned carrying blankets. “No sense freezing.” She handed the blue blanket to Finn, who took it with his thanks and threw the green one at Jake, who began laughing again. The purple blanket she hesitated on before floating to the princess, handing it to her without looking at her. 

Refusing to miss her chance a pink hand gently grabbed a grey one, and she spoke softly. “Can we talk?” At first she was afraid she would be ignored, the vampire still avoiding her gaze, but felt her heart flutter when she responded. 

“Maybe… in the morning.” It was the first thing she had said to her since they left the castle, and even though it was a dismissal it was still something. Bonnibel didn’t bother to hide her happiness.  _ She hasn’t pulled away yet…  _ When the grey hand left her it was done slowly, as if unsure it wanted to leave. When the undead rocker spoke again she returned to not looking at Bubblegum. “Alright, everyone go to bed. Or don’t. Whatever. I’m out.” Without ceremony she grabbed her bass and floated upstairs, the trap door shutting behind her. 

All three watched their friend leave with varying degrees of sadness. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts Finn hopped off of the couch to gather the movies, Jake following suit to return the now-empty containers of food to the kitchen. Bonnibel stretched on the chair before returning to her curled position, wrapping the blanket around herself.  _ It’s amazing how Marceline, despite being cool to the touch, is warmer than this logically more insulated blanket. It’s fascinating how emotional attachments can fool physiological reactions.  _ She knew she was retreating into herself, allowing her emotions to shut down in favor of sciencing a potential solution, but was willing to forgive herself readily.

Her reverie, Finn’s organizing, and Jake’s cleaning were all abruptly interrupted by a *thump* and the unmistakable sound of wood scraping on wood.

Her head whipped immediately to the couch, eyes widening when she realized that the center compartment was open. Finn turned quickly, following her gaze to the couch as well, Jake joining shortly after. Bonnibel removed the blanket, standing and striding towards the faux couch quickly. She knew that was where her former-courtier’s trophies were, and she refused to risk the boys finding what horrors the misleading couch contained. Still, she had no way to tactfully close the box without at least pretending to examine its contents, and she aimed to do so, quickly, before they could catch up. She lifted the lid and peered inside, freezing when she saw that the couch contained no trophies. Instead she found-

“...Is that a shoe box?” Her question was spoken aloud to herself, baffled by such an odd deviation from the norm. 

By that point Finn had joined her. “Why would this place make Marcy’s couch into a box? That’s so weird.” 

Jake joined the pair, peeking in as well. “Well, this place is kind of bonkers, so…” 

He trailed off as the princess gently placed the wooden lid aside, allowing Finn to gingerly take out what was definitely a shoebox. It even sported a picture of familiar red boots on the side, though no brand name or logo with which to disorient the three. Nor did the childish scrawl on the text, which read- “Moral Code,” Bonnibel breathed softly. 

Jake blinked. “Hey, we found it! Think we get a reward?” 

Finn frowned. “I don’t know man. Should we open it? Doesn’t seem right to.” 

Jake scratched his chin. “Well, Bubblegum is basically her wife-” The princess’s eyes widened and she flushed an interesting shade of red. “-And the wife owns everything in a relationship, right? So, it’s her box!” Finn stared at him in disbelief, and the dog shrugged. “That’s what Lady says.” Finn’s face scrunched. 

“That’s some nuts logic, Jake.” 

To his surprise, the princess nodded. “I’ll buy it.” The lid came off, and, despite Finn’s objection, he joined his friends in peering inside.

Like the house itself, the inner dimensions of the shoebox were skewed and it appeared far larger than its outside would suggest. Which was a good thing, as, even expanded, the container was full of objects. Finn blinked. “I wasn’t expecting that.” When Jake reached to start taking things out Finn smacked his paw away. “Nah, man. I think PB should be the one to do it.” 

He shrugged. “I don’t care who dones it, I didn’t get to read the diary and I wants ta see!” Ignoring that logic, Bubblegum carefully placed the carton on the couch’s right side, where it would be more secure. When she began to remove the contents of Marceline’s moral compass she did so delicately. She began with the largest object, removing what looked like- 

“Is that a grey lump?” Finn gave it an incredulous look; that was certainly a more-or-less accurate description. The object was a fist-sized lump, mostly dark grey, covered perhaps a quarter in pink spots; while the grey portion was hard and cold the pink spots were warm and soft. Bonnibel wasn’t sure exactly what it was but something about it was disorienting, and she had the sudden urge to keep it by her, away from either Finn or Jake. She moved it to her side, where neither could touch it. Although Jake tried Finn seemed to understand the subtle message and smacked his paw away again.

Finn recognized the second item immediately, grinning when he saw it. “I don’t know why Marce has a copy of  _ Heat Signature  _ in there, but I’m okay with this.” He took that one, placing it between himself and his brother. 

When Jake inspected it he made a discovery. “This thing is a little banged up…,” he slipped it out of its sleeve to examine the tape itself, “oh, wait, just the sleeve is wonky. Tape looks mint.” He slid it back in as Bonnibel reached back into the package, pulling out a very familiar looking box. 

“I remember this!” She smiled fondly; the box was a light brown, with two drawers and a top, standing on four golden, rounded pegs. The top featured an engraved symbol she did not recognize that resembled a stylized, faceted raindrop outlined with what appeared to be stars. Without bothering to look inside of it she set it off, next to the lump. Once again, Jake looked disappointed that there would be no snooping, but let it go when the princess pulled out the next item.

Unlike the first few items this one was small. It was a gold necklace, featuring a stylized engraving of a bat. Its wings were spread to give the illusion of wrapping around the gold body of the pendant. Despite its small size the bat was highly detailed; its eyes, and wing metacarpals were visible and in their correct positions, and there were even tiny markings to indicate the body’s fur. Its tiny ears were even patterned, and holding it to the light revealed teeny fangs. Bubblegum found it to be quite adorable. She also found it to be a locket. It opened horizontally, the bat wings concealing the cache. Inside the trio found two pictures. The first was that of a man whom the princess recognized immediately. Tanned-dark skin, short black hair, small round glasses, gentle smile, little red bowtie; the princess smiled softly.  _ Simon would be part of her moral code. Thank you, Simon. _

The other person she didn’t recognize. A woman with dark skin, hair even darker than Simon’s and not quite as tamed, with worry lines but a loving smile. Although Bonnibel couldn’t place her she looked very familiar. The mystery was solved by Finn, who did so softly. “It’s her mom…” He answered her question before she asked. “BMO.” Although not entirely clear as to BMO’s role in revealing her identity the candy golem cared more about the woman in the picture. Marceline never talked about her mother; asking was an almost sure-fire way to get the vampire to shut down. This picture seemed like the most sensitive, most personal object they had found yet, and she fell silent in reverence. This was the woman who raised her vampire, protected her from the end of the world for as long as she could, who was responsible for bringing into existence the most important person in her life. It was a woman she would never meet, never get to thank. Had she lived, and had Marceline been Turned regardless, they may even have become family one day, and she felt nothing but immense gratitude. Slowly, as if she might break it, Bonnibel closed the locket, kissing the bat softly, then set so close to the grey lump they almost touched. Neither boy said anything, instead busying themselves with the remainder of the objects in the small crate.

The next object to be removed drew out an all-too different kind of smile: A large packet of strings for the queen’s bass. Finn’s eyes widened at the sheer size of the packet, which was almost comically oversized, containing perhaps hundreds of strings. “Well… that makes sense.” He blinked again. When the strings were placed on the couch Jake realized that a second item had hitched a ride and poked it. “Look, it’s a triangle rock thing!” 

Finn picked it up. “Hm. Looks like a… triangle rock thing.” Bonnibel took it from Finn and found the two to be right: It was a green and red stone, cut into the shape of a triangle, with a large round circle in the middle. Realizing that the princess was running out of space he placed it on top the video tape. “Anything else in there?” Jake peeked in and suddenly sounded nervous. “Uh… yeah…” Frowning in confusion, Finn joined his gaze, paling. 

“...Huh.” 

Raising an eyebrow, the princess followed suit, feeling her heart sink at the final item.

It was a stake.

“Why the flip does she have a stake in her moral code?!,” Jake hissed, not wanting to draw the attention of the stake’s owner. While he and Finn pulled away in revulsion Bubblegum was frozen, staring at the wooden traitor, feeling her heart break anew.  _ That’s… an excellent question.  _ She didn’t want to think of the symbolism behind its existence, didn’t want to consider what that had to mean for her possible-lover’s emotional and mental state. Perhaps, if the two reconciled, she would have a conversation about its existence with the queen, but for now the box had become too much to deal with. She wordlessly began to gather the treasures, tucking them cautiously back into their shoebox before returning the box to the couch, securing the lid in silence. Neither hero stopped her, knowing that this discovery was highly personal, both for Marceline and the princess. 

Once her task was complete she just stared at the couch’s secret compartment before sighing. “I think we should all go to bed.” Both brothers nodded, but when Bonnibel went to stand Jake put his paw on her arm. 

“You should stay here.” His eyes darted to the couch’s compartment and she smiled her appreciation.

While Jake formed a blanket cocoon on the floor Finn retreated to the chair the princess had been previously occupying, giving her a smile that was both sad and encouraging. She did her best to mimic the expression before sighing, making her bed on top of the couch’s middle, protecting it the trophies within. She kept a hand rested directly on top of where she knew the Moral Code box was, as if trying to touch it, hold it, keep it safe. But this was something she was no longer allowed to do, and she knew she had to find contentment in just guarding it from afar. She let out a silent, bitter laugh.  _ Is this how you felt, Marceline? All those times I pushed you away and you just wouldn’t leave?  _ She knew better than to ask questions you didn’t want to know the answer to. It was uneasy, but she eventually found something akin to sleep, believing that she heard the older woman’s music in the air.

Above her friends, unaware of their discovery, Marceline was still awake, arms under her head, staring at the ceiling. She was laying in the air, unable to bring herself to sleep in the bed she had shared with Bonnibel just the night before. The pink princess had betrayed her without a doubt, and her crime was unforgivable. But heartgut feelings didn’t disappear just because you were mad at someone, and it hurt immensely to be so close to her, even if they were separated by the trapdoor. The younger woman needed to leave her mind - they all did - but it wouldn’t make their ejection any easier for the vampire. She would miss them as well; they were her friends, and they had only come to do what they thought was right. But she covered her memories for a reason, and that was because being numb was easier than feeling her dead heart break yet again.

Underneath her she was sure the boys were already dead asleep. But was Bubblegum? Her thoughts were plagued with doubt about the pink candy golem. Had she really loved the half-demon at all? Was she just a means to an end, just a bodyguard and science experiment? Were all of those acts of affection just a carefully orchestrated lie meant to fool her? Marceline had no doubt that the younger monarch was more than capable of perpetuating such deceit for centuries, especially when the vampire provided such valuable services as keeping her kingdom safe, performing the tasks she herself was incapable of doing, and satisfying her physical needs. Marceline Abadeer was not a logical woman by any stretch, but the princess had once taught her that the simplest explanation was probably the correct one, and in this case it was far more believable that Bubblegum had perpetuated a clever scheme.

And yet that knowledge alone wasn’t enough to allow the undead monarch to forget the candy woman. Whether or not it was a false relationship in reality it had been real enough to her, so much so that she had been willing to sacrifice her autonomy to make the younger woman happy. As far as Marceline was concerned they had been happily involved for five, maybe six centuries - it was different to remember at this point. True, not all of it had been happy, and at times they had taken substantial breaks, but they had always found one another again. If she were honest with herself the vampire had, deep down, always suspected that one day she need to tone down her partying to fully commit to the woman she thought was her other half, and she had not objected to that in of itself; one day she would grow up, today was just not that day. She had taken their relationship for granted once, and almost lost Bonnibel forever. Even the memory was enough to make her shudder.

Princess Bubblegum was a habitual liar, and a schemer, occasionally neglectful, and amoral in the best of times. But Marceline had never cared about these traits, perhaps out of masochism, but more likely in her opinion, because she knew that was only Princess Bubblegum, not Bonnibel. Somewhere along the way, though, they had become one in the same, and she had become a tool to be disposed of when the half-demon outlived her usefulness - literally. The worst part was that, although she was loathe to admit it, she was scared. They had had rows before, nasty ones even, but this? This went beyond fighting, and as much as Marceline missed her she knew that she couldn’t take the princess back. How could she ever trust her again, and how do you have a meaningful relationship without trust? And so she would need to be evicted as soon as possible, because the vampire knew that if she stared into those piercing green eyes she loved so much she would break, her resolve would collapse in on itself, and she would never respect herself again. Tomorrow she would say goodbye to her friends, accept that she was truly alone now and move on, and that would be that.

The clatter of plates woke her up and she frowned, not understanding how the three could possibly eat so much in a world that didn’t actually exist except in her own mind. With a groan the vampire rolled out of the air and, without bothering to change her clothes, opened the trapdoor and floated downstairs. It was there that Marceline was met with the strange sight of all three of her friends happily eating pancakes of all things, and she stared in disbelief when Jake waved. “Mornin’!” Still staring, she approached, confused, noting how awake the brothers looked, and how exhausted the princess appeared. “Where the fig did you find pancake mix in this place? I don’t even-” 

Finn shrugged before she could finished. “Weird fact: When we woke up they were already made for us!”

Jake spoke between bites. “Yeah! With strawberry sauce and syrup and they were still warm and oh my glob~” He was lost to the food and Marceline froze, dumbstruck. 

“They were already made.” She stared at the dwindling pile of pancakes. “...You kept finding food. I found the blankets just laying in my bedroom. Food was made for you.” 

Finn nodded along. “Yeah, and we most appreech’ your playing last night.” 

“...My playing.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Last night.” 

“Uh huh.” 

She continued to stare at the now empty plate. “...You kept finding food, the demon sword just showed up, food was made for you, the blankets were just out, now you were hearing-” She stopped suddenly, lips pursing, looking furious. She took a deep breath. “WHAT THE FLIP IS YOUR PROBLEM?! GET OUT HERE YOU WENIS!” The growl in the back of her throat was loud and clear.

At first nothing happened, except for the dead silence. When Jake felt something rest on his head he yelped, but before he could react further a fourth Marceline materialized behind him, elbows rested on his head. She wore a long grey shirt slitted at both sides under a red a grey flannel shirt, black slacks torn horribly at the knees, and black combat boots. Her hair was tied back in a loose braid, falling to her midback. Four piercings lined her left ear along the cartilage, each one studded in varying shades of gold. On her right wrist was a black cloth wristband, studded with short steel spikes. Unlike the first three Marcelines this one was noticeably lighter in color, almost a pale shade of grey. Despite her using Jake as a perch she failed to address either hero or Bonnibel. “Sup?” She was smirking not at the trio, but at the Unifier, who looked none too happy to see her. The new Marceline raised her eyebrows. “Someone’s testy right now.” The response was a snarl, and Marceline raised her hands in mock defense, still smirking. “Aw, come on. I made pancakes and everything! We really do need to relax more. Especially you, O’ Great Unifier.”

The Unifier narrowed her eyes. “Where the fig have you been all this time?!” 

Marceline pointed up. “Closet.” 

Narrowed eyes widened. “Are you the reason I couldn’t get it open?!” 

The response was a shrug. “Hey, I had to sleep somewhere.” Marceline continued before the Unifier could. “Besides, someone had to feed these guys.” 

The Unifier stared in disbelief. “Where have you even been getting food? There’s no food in our mind!” 

The grin dropped from Marceline’s face. “Uh…” She coughed nervously, looking everywhere but at her other self. “I sort of… traded for it?” 

“Who could you possibly-” She stopped. Stared. Eyes widened and she sharply took in a breath she didn’t need, hissing when she exhaled it. “Did you seriously make a deal with  _ her  _ of all people?!” Marceline shrugged. 

Finn frowned, exchanging a look with his friends; it was rather awkward to be literally caught in the middle, but Jake snickered, finding the humor. “Marceline’s fighting with herself.”

Both vampires ignored him, though Marceline’s impish smirk returned. “Besides, it worked out alright.” 

“Why are you here?” The tone was controlled, a warning. 

“I felt one of us bite it. Who was it?” Not wanting to see Marceline literally destroy herself, Finn found his opening. 

“The one of you that actually cares about trying to be a good person? I mean, she said she wasn’t a good person, but you know.” 

Marceline did, and she sighed. “Man, I liked her, too. What happened?” 

Finn chimed in once again, “The Usurper killed her.” 

She blinked and turned to him, her confusion evident. “‘The Usurper’?” The Unifier growled, “The lunatic who took over the Kingdom.” 

Now Marceline understood, and she turned back to the Unifier. “She’s calling herself the Usurper? She knows that’s a cliche, right?” 

“Yeah, we told her, she didn’t care. She came in, took it over, killed her, then destroyed the kingdom.”

“The whole kingdom?” 

“Yeah.” 

“...That’s actually kind of impressive.” The death glare she received from herself was enough to raise her hands in defense once more. “Just an observation.” The smirk became smug as she regarded Finn out of the corner of her eye. “Did the demon blood sword help?”

Had the Unifier possessed her telekinetic abilities she would have strangled her in sudden understanding. “THAT WAS YOU?!” 

The smirk became a grin, coupled with a nonchalant shrug. “Hey, dude had to be able to defend himself.” 

“Where the fudge did you find a demon blood sword?!” 

“I didn’t.” 

There was silence as those words sank in, the Unifier’s expression blank, the pale skin suddenly making sense to Finn. “Marce, did you  _ make  _ my sword?” 

She nodded, clearly proud of herself, still locking eyes with her counterpart. “Nice, isn’t it?” 

“...Actually, yeah, it is,” he agreed. “How did you make it?” 

Demonic eyes rolled. “Finn, I’m a demon.” 

“...Oh yeah.” He seemed comfortable with the idea of literally carrying his friend’s blood around. 

The Unifier spoke through clenched teeth. “Now, why did you choose  _ now  _ to show yourself?” 

Fearing an escalation, Finn moved from the kitchen to stand between the two queens. “Why are you so peeved, Marce? Isn’t it good to have another ally?” 

“She’s not an ally, she’s an opportunist, and that’s coming from me.” 

Marceline gave her a pitying look. “That hurt my feelings. Besides, what’s the problem? I fed the dorks, I made a sword, I did the other thing-”. 

“Where were you when we were going after the Usurper in the first place?!” 

She frowned, and it seemed genuine. “I told you, I was trading for some food to feed the dorks. What’s up with you?” Without breaking her gaze, the Unifier held her hand out to Finn in a silent demand that he immediately understood. 

With an apologetic smile towards the princess he retrieved his backpack from its spot next to the chair he spent the night on, opened it, carefully wrapped it in the white cloth, and handed it to the Unifier. In response, and without breaking the stare, the cloth was wrapped around the hilt and the knife was stabbed into the counter. Marceline craned her neck to look at it, and the moment she saw it her eyebrows rose and she let out a low whistle. “Wow, that’s cold, even for you, Bonnibel.” The princess winced.  _ Oh good, now they’re both doing it.  _ It got worse when Marceline read the inscription. “...’Contingency plan’? Really?” 

The Unifier answered before Bubblegum could defend herself. “Yeah. So, I was just in the middle of kicking them out of our brain-”

“Before I get to say hi?” Her admonishment was insincere. “Come on, let me say hi to the nerds before you kick ‘em out.” When the Unifier went to object she continued. “...’Cause, you know, I’m stronger than you. Just saying.” After a pause the Unifier threw her arms in the air, silently floating back upstairs, slamming the trapdoor behind her.

Marceline watched her leave before shrugging, turning her attention back the trio. “So, first question. How’d all this-,” she gestured to the world around them, “-happen?” 

Jake answered before either Finn or Bubblegum had a chance. “You put your dad’s amulet on-” 

“Sounds good.” 

He blinked. “...You don’t want to hear the rest?”

She shrugged her indifference. “I don’t really care, I just thought I should ask. Second question…” Her grin was mischievous. “You like the couch? Neat stuff, am I right?” 

Bonnibel’s eyes widened. “ _ You  _ opened it?” 

“Well, yeah.” 

“... _ Why _ ?” 

“Why do I do anything?” She continued before the princess could press her further. “Third question. Why are you guys here?” Finn regarded her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Uh… to bring you back to Ooo?” 

“Oh.” 

There was a brief moment of silence before Jake caught on. “...You don’t want to go either, do you?” 

She rubbed the back of her neck nervously, averting her eyes. “Well… I don’t want to be whole. I like me. But… I’d like to go back to Ooo.” 

This was news to Finn, who tilted his head. “Why, Marce?”  _ Maybe you’ll give us something to go on.  _

She sighed. “All the freedom here is great and all, but there’s lots of stuff I miss that I can’t get here.” 

“Like what?” 

“The moon. The stars. Terrorizing innocent townsolk. Stuff.” It didn’t escape the princess’s notice that she failed to mention them. 

Nor did it escape Finn. “Do you… miss us?” 

She blinked as if he was daft. “Well, yeah. But… we thought you guys were dead.” 

“Why? The Unifier wasn’t clear on that.” 

“It’s probably been… years? I don’t know. Time’s weird down here. But it’s been a really long time. Way too long for mortals.” 

Finn sounded hopeful. “Well… now that you know we’re still kickin’ it… do you want to come back?” 

Once again, she averted their gaze while she answered. “That’s a loaded question, Finn. It’s not really just up to me. You met the homicidal maniac, she obvs doesn’t want to go back.” 

“Yeah, but… do  _ you  _ want to come back?” 

“I’m… not sure.” For a brief moment her eyes flickered to Bonnibel, who immediately understood the implication. 

“Boys, could you give us a moment?” Jake grabbed Finn and ran outside, shouting ‘Cloud Hunt!’, the door slamming closed behind them.

Bubblegum took a seat in the chair that had become her makeshift throne, Marceline taking a seat in the air beside her. She wouldn’t look her in the eye. “You seem less angry about this than the Unifier is.” 

The response was a humorless chuckle. “No, I’m pretty furious. But I guess I’m more hurt than mad?” The princess couldn’t tell if that was a statement or a question.  _ Ah, so this is where she gets it from.  _

“I can explain why-” 

The vampire shook her head, her gaze set to the floor aside of the chair. “Don’t. I probably won’t believe you anyway.” Bubblegum felt her heart break a little more. “Marce-” 

“What did she say about it?” She nodded towards the trapdoor, then returned her gaze anywhere besides her former lover. 

“She…” 

“...Wants nothing more to do with you, huh?” Bonnibel nodded, her eyes meeting the floor in shame. “How did we find out about the dagger?” The younger monarch took a deep breath in an attempt to calm her nerves. It didn’t work. 

“It was when we confronted the Usurper. I told her to leave my throne. When she refused… I inadvertently pinned her to the throne with it in my anger.” 

Once again, a humorless chuckle. “I guess I should say ‘nice shot’, but… I bet she loved that, huh? She’s not exactly a fan of yours.” 

The princess drew her knees to her chest, hugging them. “Yeah. She felt vindicated. Loudly.”

Silence fell over the pair. “Can I… is there a way I can make this better?” Marceline didn’t respond, and she felt her heart drop. “What I did was probably unforgivable. I should be the person in the world least compelled to harm you. You promised to come back with me, and… I need you, Marcy.” 

The laugh was bitter. “That’s the worst apology I’ve ever heard. But…” She took a deep breath before exhaling. “Look.” Bonnibel was all ears. “The Unifier is maaaaad mad. I haven’t seen us that angry in a long time. But… she’s not the only one that gets to decide things.” She stretched her shoulders, and an undead spine cracked. “I can’t forgive you…” Now she turned to meet her eyes. All Bonnibel found was despair. “...But neither she or I can choose to leave you. Not without the others involved. I think we can say the Usurper hates you. But besides her and the two of us there’s still four more Marcelines.” Her smile was sad. “We’re never going to completely agree on anything… but that’s too many for even the two of us to ignore.” She looked up towards the ceiling. “You can’t hear what she’s playing right now, but I can, and I doubt she’s going to be back down here anytime soon.” 

Bubblegum followed her gaze. “Should I go up there?” 

“No.” There was no hesitation in the answer. “Give her space. Let her do her thing.” She lowered her head to a more comfortable position. “Don’t get me wrong, I can’t imagine any… or, at least, many of the others being cool with what you just pulled. I’m just saying that it’s not my choice alone.” Bonnibel nodded.  _ Better than nothing. Much better.  _ “I’m gonna go check on the weenies. Later.”

Before she could suffer a response Marceline was out the door, knowing in her non-functioning heart that the longer she stayed in such close proximity to the princess the more likely it would be for her to break her resolve. The boys would, if anything, make a good distraction. She found them just outside the door, and she ignored that they had blatantly been eavesdropping. “What are you dorks doing?” 

Both answers came at the same time. 

“Counting the dust particles in the sky!” 

“Nothing incriminating!” 

She raised an eyebrow. “...Alright then, as long as that’s clear.” 

When she went to float past them towards the garden she was halted by Finn. “Wait! I have a question, Marce. You said you traded for our food?” 

She groaned. “Yeah.” 

“Why was the Unifier so upset about that?” 

Jake looked horrified. “Does she want us to starve?!” 

Marceline rolled her eyes. “No, we just have a personal rule about not dealing with the one of us I traded with.” 

Finn blinked. “...Why?” 

“Well, she’s a wad, for one. Two, you can’t trust a word she says.” 

“So… why did you?” 

She shrugged, floating on her back, head rested on her arms. “We made that rule before you guys showed up. I figure the terms are different now. Can’t have you die in my brain. That’d just be gross.”

Jake suddenly had a thought, his ears perking up from the importance of it. “Wait. Is she the ‘tool problem’?” 

Marceline suddenly seemed uncharacteristically nervous. “...Tool problem?” 

The dog nodded. “Yeah. The Usurper said that the other-Marceline and the Unifier were supposed to bring someone to meet up with her, and she got super-peeved when they didn’t. Even after she ganked other-Marceline she kept telling us to go get ‘her’, so she could ‘solve her tool problem’.” 

The vampire stiffened. “It’s probably nothing. She’s pretty delusional, you know? But… just in case…” With that she was back in the house. Paying no mind to the princess she started up the latter, banging twice on the trapdoor. “We need to talk!” Bonnibel couldn’t hear the muffled response, but a moment later Marceline was gone and the trapdoor slammed shut once more. 

After she was sure the half-demon was gone Bubblegum snuck towards the door, opening it a crack to check the status of their friends. She was relieved to see them engaged in deep conversation and closed the door silently, returning to her makeshift throne after quickly snatching her bag. After one more cursory glance towards the trapdoor she reached into her bag, removing the diary that had been discovered in her phony lab. After a half-hearted internal debate about her next move she began unwrapping the book, astounded that such a personal object of Marceline was tolerating her touch, let alone revealing its content.  _ It’s going to be blank, isn’t it?  _ To test her concern she opened it straight in the middle, then flipped through it.  _ Huh. So, not blank. Interesting.  _ Using the wrapping as a bookmark she began to flip through its entries, which seemed to have no logical order.

_ Entry 3: Today I learned that flies do in fact lay eggs, and they do not feel pain. Bonnie kept a straight face when I asked, but once I was gone I could hear her laughing at me. That’s what I get for keeping her safe from the insect menace. _

_ Entry 45: ...So maybe trading the tree fort to Kim Kil Whan for a sick bass guitar wasn’t the coolest thing I’ve ever done. But it was pretty rad. Still, yeah, not cool. _

_ Entry 32: If he eats my fries one more time I’m going to flip. _

_ Entry 30: I found a USB today. BMO helped me play it. It had pictures of mom on there. I thought she _

Bonnibel sighed sadly when she realize that the rest of the entry was too water-damaged to continue. Out of curiosity, she flipped the page to check the integrity of the other side.

_ Entry 31: I found the weirdest thing in my closet today. I didn’t know what it was at first, but, funny stor _

The rest of the entry was, predictably, water-damaged as well, and she decided to try a different section of the book.

_ Entry 76: Found out what she’s been working so hard on. She actually raised the dead. But she wasn’t trying to. It’s pretty hilarious. Can’t tell her that though, she’s mad scary when she loses it. Not making that mistake again. _

_ Entry 12: So the King of Ooo wears Bonnie’s clothes? She doesn’t need to know that. Ever. _

She frowned and pretended not to have seen that.

_ Entry 89: WHY IS MY HOUSE PINK? _

_ Entry 82: The guys do some weird stuff when they think no one can see them. What was that weird dance thing with the canes? _

_ Entry 24: So she’s calling them ‘Rattleballs’, and she wants me to help test them. I don’t want to break her toys, but if she insists it’ll be a nice experience to trash metal instead of demons. Or metal demons. _

_ Entry 70: Simon promised he’d stop wearing the crown. I knew he was lying, I just liked pretending that he wasn’t. One day he’s not going to know who I am. He told me so. Does that mean I’ll be alone again? _

_ Entry 33: I messed up. I messed up bad. I’m going to lose her. I just know it. This was all me, she didn’t deserve what I did. I messed up super bad and I’m going to lose her and you know what, diary? I’m going to deserve it, because I gonk up everything that matters. Maybe I’m just afraid to lose her, so I flupped it up in advance on purpose? Whatever. The point is that she’s the most important thing in the world to me and I blew it. I’m so sorry, Bonnie. _

Bonnibel closed the book, returning it to her bag. She didn’t need to read the entry further to know exactly what it was in reference to, and it was a time in her life she preferred never to revisit. It was centuries passed, and something they had already reconciled, but the wound still stung, and the princess was beginning to wonder how long her betrayal would sting the vampire.  _ If she ever forgives me.  _ With a sigh she curled up on the chair, clutching the bag to her chest.  _ Where did I go wrong? What could I have possibly done different? She is - was - my mate. She needed a kingdom of her own to make it official. If she had just learned-  _ She stopped that train of thought, instead reframing it into one less destructive.  _...If we had just worked on her concerns together… maybe I would have found a way to lessen the detrimental impact of the amulet. But what else could I have done? How else could she have learned to control it if not trying in the first place?  _ By the time exhaustion caught up with her her thoughts had become consumed with a mixture of doubt and intellectual frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Dead:
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Dead:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	9. Einstellung Effect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real Talk: So, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about this chapter. It was a fun writing experiment, but I feel like it’ll be pretty divisive in terms of liking it/not liking it. Which is fine, we’ll be returning to our regularly scheduled programming starting next chapter. I won’t be doing this again in Rehearsal, it was just the most fun/logical way to handle Bonnie not listening to anyone but herself. Speaking of which, guys, be nice to Bonnie. Yes, her actions basically constitute a war crime, but she’s sad and going through her own identity crisis. She loves Marcy she’s just… really, really bad at it.
> 
> Enjoy this last bit of happiness now, because nothing is happy starting next chapter. I was planning out the next few chapters and… yikes.
> 
> First things first, though:
> 
> The Einstellung effect: The development of a mechanized state of mind. Often called a problem solving set, Einstellung refers to a person’s predisposition to solve a given problem in a specific manner even though better or more appropriate methods of solving the problem exist.
> 
> Content warnings:
> 
> POV Shift  
> Basically Fluff  
> Implications of Lady Sexing  
> Dreaming the Truth Trope  
> Possibly One Giant Reference to Another Giant Story That Will Follow Rehearsal Maybe?  
> COSMIC OWL  
> A Bad Word (In German!)  
> Not a Wild Marceline, Sorry

_ Where am I? Okay Bubblegum. Let’s do this with the power of logic. Observe your surroundings. _

I was in my castle, that much I could be sure of. I was in a room that I recognized immediately; only one room in my castle had royal purple walls spliced with cerise flags engraved into the walls themselves from ceiling to floor, or candy cane support beams that were primarily onyx and featured scarlet stripes. Opposite from where I sat there was a familiar set of curved double doors that extended to the ceiling, made of ebony-colored wood accented by white gold circular door knockers, two on each side of the doors. Without looking up I knew that the ceiling was the same shade of purple as the walls, decorated with a light magenta spiral pattern. I knew that I was standing in front of an approximation of my room’s throne, a dark violet and carnation wedged-pattern mosaic hand-painted over the same ebony-colored wood as the doors. On the right hand wall perpendicular to my throne hang large wooden clock, carved from the Ancient Elm Peppermint Butler had once mutilated into a toothpick. It had been painstakingly reassembled by my citizens, and emblazoned with the crest of a family only I could claim lineage of.

But none of these were the main feature of the room.

_ How do I know all of this without looking? This makes no sense. Think, Bubblegum! This is too surreal to be rational! _

No, the main feature of the room was an enormous table that took up the bulk of the rose pink floor. It was the same dark purple as the walls, with the same hand-painted light magenta spiral pattern. I didn’t need to count them to know that there were twenty-three chairs, almost miniature thrones themselves, each a different size and each a varying shade of homely brown. I knew that each chair had their own patterns and signs emblazoned on the backs, but they were impossible to see because each was occupied by a princess. Directly opposite me at the other end of the table sat another throne, this one obsidian with a metallic crimson bat, wings spread to provide the illusion that it was almost claiming the throne it was attached to. Unlike the rest of the chairs, it was vacant. To the left of the throne sat Phoebe in her own wooden semi-throne, her hair longer now, her crown now an ornate bronze and ruby hue with a triangular scarlet gem in its center. Her dress was a deep vermillion, with three cloth spikes rising from the back over her shoulders and head. She was smirking at me silently, right elbow rested on the wooden table, cheek resting in her hand, the only source of quiet in a room otherwise filled with boisterous royals. She didn’t seem to be bothering to hide her irritation as she scanned the room, as if searching for something.

_ Oh, this must be a dream. There would be no other way for Phoebe to be sitting anywhere near this sheer volume of wood without it being engulfed in flames. Thanks, physics! You’ve never failed me. _

Tearing my gaze from the fire elemental, I next registered Lumpy Space Princess, who sat with her face buried in her cell phone, texting at speeds that shouldn’t be possible for a mere mortal. Typical. At least she seemed like her old self. Still the same scowl, the same light purple lumps that no one seemed to be wanting - at least in this room - same general disinterest in those around her. As she texted she muttered to herself, and no part of me wanted to know what she was saying. Next to her, Muscle Princess - who seemed bafflingly larger - chatted it up with Slime and Turtle Princess, the latter of whom seemed less tired and more run-down. Breakfast Princess seemed to be mirroring Phoebe’s posture, left elbow rested on the table, hand in her cheek, though she seemed to be occupying herself by glaring rather harshly at Lumpy Space Princess. I gave up scanning the rest of the royalty, who seemed to be engrossed in conversations with one another; some appeared largely identical to their real-world counterparts, while others seemed subtly different; larger, rounder, taller, scarred, any number of changes. I didn’t see Marceline anywhere amongst the various monarchs, but that didn’t seem to surprise me.

What did surprise me was feeling myself rise, clear my voice, and address the room.

_ Ah, I see now. In this dream I’m a passenger in my own body. That would explain the surreal feeling, almost like a point of view shift. I can feel the other me’s emotions and actions, but without any input on my end. Is Dream Iteration Bubblegum aware of this? _

A quick experiment in lifting my own hand proved that Dream Iteration Bubblegum seemed unaware of my real self’s presence. The implications of this were intriguing and I could already feel intellectual curiosity bubble forth from my waking self; could I hear my thoughts at least? Is this dream an alternate me, or a future me? What could be the point of such a realism? My dreams are never filled with such noise, let alone other royalty. Well, except one of course, she was ever-present and I liked it that way.

My own voice startled me out of my reverie.

_ I sound so tired. What could possibly be happening that I would call a royal meeting while sounding so tired? _

As I would expect from myself I sounded calm and in control, a perfect Most Diplomatic Voice, as Marceline had often called it. “Thank you all for arriving so promptly.” Immediately, twenty-two pairs of eyes joined Phoebe’s in meeting my own, all laced with some combination of curiosity, agitation, and concern. Some of my visitors seemed to begin fidgeting, betraying that they were just as anxious as I felt, though I betrayed nothing, as to be expected. At least one monarch had to remain in control of the situation, and it was certainly none of my guests. “I know that many of your kingdoms are far away, and I cannot imagine the arrangements necessary for you to travel the distance, and on such short notice.” Phoebe’s snort didn’t go unnoticed by me or anyone else. I felt myself frown in slight irascibility at such blatant disrespect, but continued undeterred. “I will not beat around the bush, because I suspect you all know why I asked you here.” A pause, as I attempted to… to...

_...Avoid a mass panic? _

“I can confirm Sir Finn and Sir Jake’s testimony. The Lich has returned.”

_ What the flip, me?! That’s not how you handle a crisis! _

The response as an odd mix of panic, dread, and anger, complete with accusatory questions. Some stood, pointing blame at one another, especially me. How long had I known? Did I even know where the Lich was?  Did I have any idea as to his plans? What about where he is? What intelligence do I actually have? What about a preliminary attack on his hiding place? Was I doing anything at all? I raised my voice in an attempt to regain control of the room, making sure to continue using my Most Diplomatic Voice. “Everyone, remain calm! We have a strategy in place and a plan of attack! We will need to work together to overcome-” It was becoming apparent that my fellow royals were engrossed in their own conversations, their noise drowning out my steady voice. Honestly, it was quite counterproductive and only served to extend the panic. I felt my jaw clench at the loss of my control of the room, though I felt no surprise at the lack of dignity inherent in my fellow monarchs. With a sense of smug superiority I reminded myself - or, rather, Dream Iteration Bubblegum reminded herself - that this was a clear example of why the Candy Kingdom was the most powerful of all, why I commanded their loyalty without fail. Well, that reason of course, and-

“SHUT IT!”

Immediately, all eyes turned to Phoebe, who now stood glaring at the crowd with all of the fury she could muster. Immediately there was silence, but no one sat. They merely exchanged glances around the table, unsure how to proceed, the nervousness of the conversation giving way to fear as the reality of the situation hit them painfully slowly, as they threatened to be buried under the weight of knowledge. The Lich was back, and they would all have to come to terms with that. Phoebe flared just enough to drive her point home, and the remaining princesses returned to their seats. Before returning to her own mini-throne I saw her flash me a satisfied, sly smile. I knew what it meant: ‘You’re welcome.’ She didn’t try to hide that either. I matched her look with my own, rolling my eyes and silently thanking her. Satisfied with my gratitude she returned to her original position, elbow resting on the table, cheek in hand. Now she kept her glare centered on her colleagues as if daring them to try that again.

_ Why am I thanking her? That was terribly rude. _

I cleared my throat for a second time, once again commanding attention, my Most Diplomatic Voice never wavering. Perhaps they were calming down on their own merit, or perhaps it was the fear of a considerably volatile fire elemental, but the senseless chatter died away, all eyes once again focused on me, some with fear replacing the previous anger, but mostly with restrained acerbity. I considered this good enough, and continued with yet more bad news, hoping that they were controlling themselves enough to avoid a second bout of chaos. “I’m afraid the news only gets worse.” I paused to make sure that I had their full of attention; I did not want to have to repeat this revelation. “We have reason to suspect that the Lich has begun raising an army.”

_ Literally? _

“Literally. From the ground.”

_ That answers that. _

A new round of mass panic threatened to begin, but this time I was ready. In anticipation I held up my hand, raising my voice before the tide could swell. “No one needs a reminder as to the sheer devastation the Lich is capable of, nor his single-minded desire to eradicate all life itself.” I paused once more, taking stock of their focus before pressing on. “Yes, he is one of the most singularly powerful beings in all of Ooo. And yes, he is raising a single-minded army of unknown size and strength that thrives off of death and destruction, loyal only to him.” Those princess not paralyzed with eye-widening fear were quickly surveying the others, as if searching for a sign of how they should be reacting to the increasingly dire situation. I ignored them entirely; now was not the time to assuage their concerns, now was the time for intelligence, both militarily and from a personal standpoint. They could calm themselves down after the meeting, I would not coddle them when there was so much to be done still.

_ Where am I going with this? _

“However, we are not the same people - or kingdoms - we once were. Ooo is more united than it has ever been before.” Once again, the smug elitism in knowing that was entirely my doing crept back into my thoughts, empowering me to share the news about to come. “Our conflicts are few and far between. We share our wisdom and our cultures freely. We trade readily and celebrate our differences as nations and individuals. And, perhaps most importantly… we have found new, powerful allies.” Phoebe looked just as egotistical as I felt, and I noted that at no time had she ever surrendered to the horrifying reality we were finding ourselves in. This didn’t seem to surprise me either, nor did it when Lumpy Space Princess let out a loud, obnoxious groan. Phoebe only rolled her eyes in acerbity, and I resisted the urge to do the same. There was disgust in the violet monarch’s voice, but no one seemed to care.

“Do we need to do this? Like, seriously?”

Before I could respond Breakfast Princess rose, shooting her an icy stare. “What’s your problem, LSP? Why are you even here?,” she started forcefully, her arms crossing in defiance of LSP’s very presence as if it were a personal insult. “Are you even a real princess, or are you just crashing another important meeting so you can mooch? Because last I checked you were still living in a log in the woods outside of the Grasslands. You know, without an actual kingdom or subjects of any kind.”

_ She may have a point. _

Without any pause she continued her verbal assault. “What can you even offer the rest of us? What’s Lumpy Space going to do, irritate the Lich to death with incessant yammering? Bore him to defeat with trite gossip?”

_ She’s… not wrong. _

“Or just make him another victim for Ooo’s Worst Dress List?”

_ Low blow, BP. _

Before a proper argument could be incited I took a deep breath, trying to curb my own annoyance. “CHILDREN!” Immediately, both princess fell silent, satisfied now with just glaring at one another. Evidently, I decided that this was good enough to continue. “Yes, LSP, we need to do this. We have an alliance now. We can rely on her.” 

Somehow, her mutter was loud enough to carry through the spacious room. “Yeah, but like, can we? Remember what happened the last time?” The answer appeared to be ‘yes’, as there was a collective group shudder. Only Phoebe deviated from the reaction; instead, her self-satisfied smile became a genuine smile, as if she were recalling a happy memory from a happier time. I shared her sentiment, but if I knew what LSP was referring to specifically I didn’t recall it.

_ Maybe… that’s better. For now, at least. _

Once the table’s occupants calmed themselves once again I focused my attention on the massive entrance doors. “Peppermint Butler, you may come in now.” I hadn’t even been speaking loudly, yet my most faithful servant heard nonetheless, as I knew he would. When the doors opened they split perfectly in half, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that there was a large, strange crest expertly carved into the wood, though my angle prevented me from viewing it completely. It was for the best; I was too distracted by Peppermint Butler, who seemed all too pleased with the bundle of familiar items in his arms. He entered cautiously, closing the doors as quietly as possible while disregarding the room’s dwellers, save for me. He met my stare in a silent request for approval.

“Proceed, Pep-But. Summon her.”

_ Summon... Her? No... she wouldn’t have… _

He nodded in lieu of a bow, crossing the room as swiftly as he could. My gaze followed him until he reached the left-hand wall. Or, more specifically, the crudely carved smiley face along the left-hand wall, so different from the ones Finn - or Sir Finn, I suppose - typically drew to reach the Nightosphere. This one was simpler, composed only of a large circle that seemed to take up the whole wall, with two smaller circles for eyes, and a long curved line for a mouth. With a frown I realized that there was now a second, larger curved line below the first, with sharp triangles alternating between up and down between them in an approximation of teeth. This did not seem to surprise my butler, as he threw the bug milk at it without ceremony before straightening his posture, hands folded behind his back as he cleared his throat.

“Maloso vobiscum et cum spiritum!”

The portal opened instantly, and after an awkwardly long pause Marceline Abadeer stepped through, looking almost bored. As expected, having just come from the Nightosphere, she wore an exact replica of the outfit the real Marceline had worn moments before she claw-

_ Stop it, Bubblegum. Now isn’t the time. _

Specifically, she wore a sheer black blazer and pant combination and a lavender undershirt. Her dark red tie was topped by the Nightosphere’s chaos amulet, pressed against the vampire’s throat. She hadn’t even bothered to tie her hair back, and it flowed almost fluidly. Strapped to her back was her family’s heirloom axe, and I knew implicitly that even in this dream it was still a bass. Her eyes were slit, reminiscent of the Usurper’s in their instability, yet behind them I seemed to absolutely know without question that they hid mischief and devilry. I didn’t need to look to know that in place of hands she retained claws, the same dark grey claws that she possessed in her favorite bat form. At least one of them was twitching slightly and her smile, her razor-sharp teeth, it was almost unsettling, too similar to the one she had given me just before the Usurper-

_ Bubblegum! Not. Now. _

And yet, when I met her eyes I felt myself calm, just a fraction. After she stuck her tongue out at me she nudged Peppermint Butler away from her with her foot - oddly, he didn’t seem to mind all that much - and strolled across the room to the empty throne, her stride almost mockingly slow. If she was aware that the room’s collective occupants were staring at her, visibly unnerved and just a little bit fearful, she gave no indication. Instead, she leaned her axe blade-down against the side of the throne closest to Phoebe.  She then flopped into without ceremony, exchanging a fist bump with the fire monarch, the burns immediately healing without her acknowledgement. When the fire elemental whispered something to her she snickered, eliciting a chuckle from the flame princess before they both returned their attention to me.

_...Wait, what? _

Without even attempting to hide her animosity, LSP groaned loudly, “Ugh, what’s  _ she  _ doing here?” 

Marceline threw her legs onto the table, and I noted with wry amusement that not only was she wearing her red boots, she had chosen the pair that clearly read ‘BONNIE’ on the bottom left one, a punishment inflicted long ago that didn’t seem to discourage whatever behavior it had intended to discourage. She raised her arms behind her head, resting it in her hands and against what I knew to be her throne. With a tilt of her head and a raised eyebrow she gave a sarcastic smile to the gossiper. “I live here. What are  _ you  _ doing here? Crashing the party?” She nodded solemnly. “I can respect that.” Phoebe’s snicker was echoed by Breakfast Princess. Twenty other pairs of eyes darted between the vampire, the lumpy princess, and myself as if pleading me to stop something before it got ugly. But I knew it wouldn’t.

_...She lives… what?! _

“Marceline, focus.” My tone was both controlled and direct. She turned to face me, her expression never losing its amused smirk. This didn’t seem to bother me either, I almost seemed to expect this behavior from her. “I trust you know why we summoned you?” Her head tilted to the side, her eyes never losing the glint of instability, though it seemed mixed with something else.

_ Malice? No, that’s not right. Cruelty? No, not that either. It almost seems… playful. But how can she be…? _

The vampire waved a claw at me tauntingly. “Ah ah ah, Your Majesty. Ask me properly.”

_ Typical. _

I bristled briefly, and shot her a pointed look, but I was too tired to argue with the incorrigible half-demon. Too much had happened already, and there was still even more to accomplish. Although I maintained my Most Diplomatic Voice I didn’t bother to hide the underlying layer of displeasure, a tone that clearly read ‘you’re pushing it’, not that she seemed to care all that much. I stood, making eye contact, and refusing to drop her gaze. To her credit, she also rose to meet me without comment, almost grinning with amusement at her own antics. “Marceline Abadeer, Queen of the Vampires and Lady Evil of the Nightosphere, we face a time of dire crisis. The Lich will be upon us, we know not when, and he brings with him an army of the risen undead. Now I call upon you that you may fulfill  _ your vow  _ and meet the challenge alongside us, the kingdoms of the surface world, and Ooo. Will you lend us your wisdom and the might of the Nightosphere?”

Her grin evolved into an exaggerated faux shock, as if baffled by the request. She gave me an exaggerated bow, never breaking eye contact and looking far too pleased with herself, adopting a needlessly over-the-top affect. “Why, Queen Bonnibel of the Candy Kingdom, I would think it goes without saying that any war of yours is a war of mine, be it against a mortal army or the  _ second _ most powerful being in Ooo. I would be absolutely delighted to offer you the full strength of the Nightosphere, its denizens, resources, and propensity for combat.” She actually had the audacity to wink at me, her voice returning to normal. “My axe is yours.” I waited for her to return to her seat and throw her legs back onto the table before focusing my attention once more on the room at large, ignoring the looks from the other royals. Which, admittedly, just seemed to be tame smiles and giggling that didn’t sound mocking, just knowing. I shook my head at the absurdity of the situation, and in doing so I caught a glimpse outside the window. Twilight.

_ Queen? I’m queen now? But that can’t happen unless… _

“I propose that we resume this meeting tomorrow. It is getting late, and there is no sense in military strategizing with foggy brains. Your chambers have been prepared for your arrival, and I hope you each find them to your liking. The full castle grounds are at your disposal as well. Should you require anything Peppermint Butler will be more than happy to accommodate you. Thank you for your attendance. We shall resume tomorrow.” As if unsettled by the undead queen the group quickly spilled out of the room, where I knew my staff would be waiting to serve them hand and foot. It would pay to remind them who was in charge of this castle, who had the most powerful kingdom in Ooo, and who they must rely on for their comfort and safety, both in the present and the future. Displays of extravagance and wealth were essential tools for dealing with visiting royalty after all; respect could be wielded as a tool and a weapon, be it between two royals or the whole of the land. Knowing that my servants were more than up to the task of babysitting I didn’t seem to care exactly where they went. My focus was solely on the vampire who had seemed to take extra time to bid Phoebe a good evening before rising from the table, confidently approaching me. I expected to feel angry at her distasteful display. I dreaded the inevitable row this would surely cause. Once she was within arms reach I felt myself sigh, walk over…

...stop in front of her, and rest my forehead on her shoulder. I felt her lift my crown, heard her place it carefully on the table. Her arms came up to wrap around my waist, the amusement in her voice combined in equal parts with concern.

“Aw… what’s wrong, Bon?”

_ She’s the Lady of the Nightosphere, a being of chaotic evil now… but this feels nice, actually. Not like she’s going to rip my head- ...Nope, not remembering that, bad Bubblegum. _

I felt my head shake without leaving her shoulder. My own arms came up to wrap up her back, resting on her shoulders. My voice was laced with despair. “I just… he’s back, Marcy. After everything. He’s back, and with an army.” Sometime during my explanation I had tensed considerably, and I felt a hand - not a claw- rub my lower back. The amusement didn’t leave her voice, but it was now overshadowed by the concern. 

“Bonnie, look at me.” 

I buried my face in her shoulder, but it didn’t seem to deter her. I felt a cool finger under my chin, raising it to meet her eyes. They were still unstable and mercurial, yet they were overshadowed as well with some other emotion that I could not place, dilated and not slitted.

_ Is that… affection? _

“It’s going to be okay. I’m not going to let him hurt you again. He’d have to get through me.” She grinned, her mouth full of needle-sharp teeth. “And nothing gets through me.” The small edge of instability in her demeanor returned, but it seemed she was able to push it back with concentrated effort. Whatever I was going to ask was interrupted by her sigh. “Look, Bon. I wasn’t there the first time…” she bit her lip nervously, clearly struggling to meet my eyes. The resulting wound healed immediately. “...but it’s not going to happen to you a second time.”  _ Ah. I had suspected that she still harbored guilt about my near death experience at the hands of the Lich, but we never discussed it. It seemed too long ago, and no longer of real consequence. Not after The Goliad Incident. _ I felt her left arm withdraw from my waist, her hand resting on my cheek. I didn’t hesitate to lean into her touch, my eyes closing. For a brief moment I could feel the hand try to shift back into a claw, but that was repressed as well. For whatever reason this didn’t seem to worry me either.

“Besides, you have your own army now. A competent army.” I opened my eyes and gave her a sharp look at her implication that my people were incompetent. “What? Candy people weren’t made for fighting.” My sharp look didn’t falter. “Literally!” 

_ Hey, she used the word ‘literally’ correctly this time. Good girl Marcy, I knew you could be taught. _

I was still glaring at her. “You made them! And not for fighting! They’re food, Bonnibel! You made them to do basically everything but fight!” My heated look dropped, and I couldn’t repress my smile. 

“And your demons are? Made for fighting?” 

Her grin was full of mirth and intimidating fangs. “Come on, Bonnie, you’ve seen us work. Morality is relative in the Nightosphere. Demons just want to have a good time. War, parties, ironic punishments, whatever your poison is. We’re game.” 

I didn’t bother stifling my groan, my cheek resting on her chest. “This is going to be our wedding all over again.” She snickered as she moved her arms back around my waist, not exactly arguing with that assertion.

_ Our WHAT?! Wait… we actually…? _

“I can’t help it if they have very specific tastes. Besides, I never let anything leave the Nightosphere. Except me, because I’m awesome.” I snorted derisively, which she ignored. “Besides…” Her tone had shifted to something darker rather abruptly. “I would  _ love  _ to get my hands on the Lich. Getting sick of his attitude, you know? He’s going to learn that while my rule is  _ technically  _ the Nightosphere, this kingdom is  _ mine,  _ your allies are  _ mine,  _ and let’s not forget that Ooo is  _ mine- _

“Marceline, claws.”

At some point in her diatribe her hands had shifted back into claws, and I could feel them threatening to pierce my back. Yet rather than be worried my reminder came out flat, as if this was a common occurrence and Marceline didn’t need to be stopped as a being of pure evil bent on domination and destruction, just a gentle correction from her-

_...Wife. I’m her wife. Oh. My. Glob. _

She immediately retracted them back into hands, patently avoiding my eyes in the process. With a clearly embarrassed cough one hand came to rub the back of her neck nervously. “Ah… sorry, Bon. Still getting used to the whole amulet situation.” 

I offered a soft smile, kissing her cheek. “It’s alright, Marcy. You’re still adjusting.” I pulled back, cupping her cheek to force her to look at me. Once she relented I continued. I dropped my hand, trailing it down her neck, over her scars, down her shoulder, stopping on her forearm. I tapped it, but instead of feeling soft flesh under the sleeve I hit something harder, more sturdy.  “Does it help?”

With a strained smile and repressed shudder at my touch she nodded. “Yeah, a lot. Still gotta tune it out, but it helps.” 

“Mm.” I began to roll back her sleeve, revealing what I had felt moments ago. Encompassing most of her left arm was a vambracer, made of a black material that seemed to absorb all light, accented by rust-colored streaks that reminded me of dried blood. Whatever it was made of was hard, much harder than anything I had ever seen or felt. I ran my fingers over it and could feel a raised pattern, yet visually the color was solid. I had rolled the sleeve to expose the underside first, wanting to check its integrity. It seemed to be closed by a small gold latch in the center, effectively sealing it shut seamlessly, and I knew implicitly that the intention was for it to not come off. Satisfied that it was intact I turned her arm over to check its front, which was nearly identical in color and design, except for a very familiar light blue gem embedded in the center.

_ That’s my royal gem! What the flip?! _

I tapped it with my nail lightly, pleased with its light *tink* noise. “I’m glad it’s helping. I thought a royal gem may be a good counterweight.” 

Marceline raised her eyebrow at me. “Uh huh…” 

I nodded, feeling encouraged. “Yes! By design royal gems filter out malicious influence, protecting the wearer in the process. I hypothesized that your inability to control your amulet came only partially from your own insecurities, but rather largely from the amulet’s influence in manipulating them, which would make it probable that the two would balance one another!” She was staring at me blankly, but I was undeterred. “Of course, we’re still going to need to work on those insecurities if you’re to completely master your amulet, as an unfortunate side effect of the royal gem is to limit the amount of power you’re able to derive from it, as its malicious energy is where most of its might stems from. It is fortunate that you were already immensely powerful to begin with, but at least this way it will take more for your control to slip-” 

She nodded. “Magic, got it.” 

I gave her a look of sheer disdain, but she only smiled innocently, and I continued my train of thought. “...It is good that we had a second royal gem available for my protection from undue influence as well.”

_...We do? _

Her look was unamused, her tone bitter. “Yeah. Good.” 

I gave her an apologetic smile. “Okay, maybe that was a poor choice of words. However,” I turned to the table to examine what it held, “it is beautiful, you know.” I learned then what I was looking at: it was a crown, and I knew it to be Marceline’s engagement offering. It had been the response to my own engagement offering of the vambracer, something she had referred to as ‘retaliation’, as was customary among her kind. 

I felt her wrap her arms around my waist from behind, and I could hear the satisfaction in her voice. “It better be. I had it designed specifically for you. If Jan did his job correctly it’ll probably kill anyone else that tries to wear it,” she said casually. My previously apologetic smile turned into one of admiration as I picked the crown up. Its base metal was black, the same shade as Marceline’s vambracer, and seemed to absorb all light it touched, made of a material I knew to be unique to the Nightosphere. Like her bracer it was pleasantly warm to the touch, as if it had only freshly been removed. Yet that was not its true beauty. Lined across the top of the crown, circling it entirely, were twenty three trigonal crystals. Each was a different color or shade, ranging from the darkest burgundy to the lightest cream. When the crown was worn they would each glow softly, displaying their full radiance even in the pitchest of black rooms. Marceline had gathered the crystals herself, one from each of the Candy Kingdom’s territories, though she never did say how she got them to illuminate. She had even seen fit to arrange them by size, the smallest towards the back, the largest towards the front, each crystal surrounded by a complementary color.

In the center of the crown sat a very familiar dark blue gem.

_ That’s… that’s the royal gem from my dagger. I guess I did find a better use for it after all. _

I placed the crown back on the table, resting my hand on her’s as I gazed out upon the empty chairs that had only recently held so many of my dignitaries. “What’s our plan for this, Marce?” 

“Well~...” 

“The  _ Lich _ , Marceline. Not whatever lewd thing you’re thinking of.” I could see her pout in my mind’s eye.

“Well, it’s pretty easy. We go find the Lich and we kick his butt.” I groaned and turned to face her. 

“Marceline, be serious. For once.”

She seemed confused. “Bon, I am being serious. Some of your territories are actually good for something. Like the Fire Kingdom.” I narrowed my eyes at her until she squirmed and continued. “Besides, you got me, and you got my demons. What’s the problem?” Marceline shrugged before continuing. “This time I’m encouraging them to let loose their wild sides on the surface world. No candy people will be harmed in the making of this war.” 

I gave an exasperated sigh, closed my eyes, and pinched the bridge of my nose. “You give me wrinkles, Marceline.” Even still, I realized, I was beginning to feel better, though something nagged at me. 

The vampire stifled her snicker. “That’s what happens when you’re the ruler of two kingdoms, dork. Twice the excitement in half the time!”

I began to rub my temples, it finally hitting me. “Marceline… what exactly do you mean by ‘letting loose their wild sides’?” 

She froze. “Uh…” 

My eyebrows raised. “Marceline, what exactly do you mean?” 

“Uh… so… would you believe-” 

My tone shifted to a warning. “I would believe the truth, Marcy.” 

Once again she rubbed the back of her neck nervously, not meeting my eyes. “So… here’s the thing-”

“I’m listening.” 

“We’re really good at this whole ‘killing and maiming’ thing. And except for the Fire Kingdom you surface dwellers really aren’t.” I gave her a piercing stare. “...and I knew you were going to involve us. I’d be pretty mad if you weren’t. So, we already have a plan.” 

I crossed my arms before responding. “You actually thought ahead.  Why does that worry me.” It was a statement, not a question.

“Well… remember how we agreed that your candy citizens are bad at fighting? So yeah. This ‘kick the Lich’s butt’ plan only works if the Nightosphere is on the front lines.”

For several long moments we just stared at one another silently. I broke the stalemate first.

“No.”

A firm tone.

“Bonnibel-”

“Absolutely not.”

An exacerbated sigh. “Just hear me out-”

“Marceline Abadeer, no.”

Full-naming. A true sign of irritation if there ever was one.

“Just hear me out. Okay? If after I’ve finished you still disagree-”

“We’ll argue some more?”

“...Yes?” It was a question, not a statement.

I sighed, wrapping my arms around her neck, resting my cheek on her chest. “Marcy, I can’t let you. I’m sorry, but I need you.” 

She smiled sadly, returning her arms to my waist. “Bon, I need you too, you dork. It’s why I have to. I’m the most kick-butt thing alive-” 

“Undead. You’re undead.” 

“...Okay, well, still the most kick-butt thing ever. I’m the best shot we have at ending this before peeps get killed. Or worse.” 

“Marce-” 

“If we weren’t mates you’d agree, wouldn’t you?” 

I paused at that, considering her argument. She wasn’t wrong, and it bothered me that she caught that before I did.

_ I hate it when she’s logical, it’s quite problematic. _

I decided to take a page out of her book and ignored that line of reasoning. “Let’s discuss it later, alright? Once we’ve gathered more intelligence and have a clearer understanding of his plans. Right now all we can do is speculate, and that could easily do more harm than good. If we start making assumptions we’ll developed predetermined judgments, which if acted upon erroneously-” Without warning she scooped me up, one arm under my knees, the other supporting my back. I didn’t have a chance to protest, though experience had long taught me that doing so would have no effect anyway. I did the next best thing: I pouted. “Marcy, where are we going?” 

A stifled, sincere laugh. I couldn’t help but smile. “You’re rambling, Bonnie, which means you’re exhausted. Even a brainlord like you needs to sleep sometime.” I hadn’t realized it before, not until she brought it to my attention, but once the adrenaline from the meeting had begun to wear off I truly was tired. “I’ll do you the favor of not asking when you last slept, because I’m pretty sure you have no idea. Am I right?” I watched her grab her bass and strap her to her back as I reached out to retrieve my crown.

_ She always did know me better than anyone. _

I rested my head against her arm, folding my own in my lap, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her assertion as she took off. In spite of the impending crisis I felt oddly safe. How odd that really was; I felt safe in the arms of Lady Evil, possibly the most powerful being in all of Ooo, who regularly maimed and tortured her own subjects for fun and profit. Mercurial, irrational, and chaotic… and yet this was where I always felt safest. I had known it for centuries; no matter how big an army I command, or how many loyal citizens I create, the safest place in the world for me were the arms of a temperamental vampire.

_ Though that’s hardly new, is it? She’s my best friend. _

“Finn and Jake will be back soon. With news,” I muttered, the last vestige of trying to convince myself I wasn’t tired, despite my eyes closing. The only response was a hum, which both acknowledged that I had been heard and that the other monarch didn’t care. 

“You need your rest, Bon. You’re going to need all of it with what’s about to happen. Enjoy it right now, okay?” I felt her body turn, pressing against something solid, then heard a door open and close. I opened an eye only to find myself in my - our - bedroom chamber. What changes our union meant for the bedroom that was once only mine were too obscured by the growing darkness of the hour, yet some were unmistakable; several posters of some kind, a large and familiar amp in the corner, and what appeared to be a very large and familiar fake couch. Only once we were in this sanctuary did I allow myself to yawn as I was gently placed on the bed, turning away from the contents of the room. I heard the sound of Marceline’s bass being lowered onto the floor, the crown snatched from me to some unknown destination, most likely the wardrobe. I heard rummaging in the closet before a nightgown fell on me. There was a pause in the movement as the other queen regarded me skeptically. “Is that dress new, Bon?”

I glanced down at my dress. It was a dark rose covered with a sheer violet veil that flowed to my ankles. The trim and sleeves were the same violet lace, the dress itself soft and smooth. I smiled, removing my simple purple shoes. “It is.” 

She tilted her head. “It’s nice.” 

“It better be. Jan worked very hard on it.” A deriding snort made me smile knowingly, and I continued in an all-too-amused tone of voice. “I think he’s terrified of me.” 

“He better be. He knows who his Lady is, and he knows who is Lady’s queen is. Besides, after what he pulled-” 

“I know, Marcy, I know.” 

“I’m just saying, I let him off easy.” That point couldn’t be argued; Marceline wasn’t exactly merciful to her denizens that she felt required punishment, a fact known even to the surface dwellers. She enjoyed maiming, torturing, and killing. She even enjoyed thinking of creative and ironic punishments as a hobby, a way to pass the time. Few knew that Lady Evil could be loving and gentle, and the half-demon liked it that way.

We both fell silent as we watched one another carefully, knowing that the first one to break contact lost the game. The rules hadn’t changed for centuries, and they weren’t about to change now. I wanted something, she wanted something else, but, unfortunately for my vampire, I had plans of my own. When I refused to break eye contact she sighed, losing in the process. “Alright, enough stalling. You need the sleep. Go on, change, get under the blankets, and get comfy.” I made no effort to move. She gave me A Look, as if that had ever worked on me in six centuries, and my response was to smile innocently. Due to her iron rule within the Nightosphere she was no longer accustomed to not getting her way, and her discontent was obvious in both her voice and posture. “Bonnibel, get changed. Don’t make me strip you down.” 

I rolled over to meet her gaze, grinning knowingly as I did so. That had been exactly what I was waiting to hear. “Honestly, Marcy? I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

_ Bubblegum, that’s so… distasteful! _

The response was a lighthearted laugh. “Well, I can’t argue with that logic.” Her voice became somber. “But really nerd, I’ll tear that dress to shreds.” 

My smile widened. “Oh, I’m aware.” The hands became claws, and I made a show of stretching, puffing my chest in the process. Before I knew it a pair of strong arms wrapped from behind me pulling me against their owner. I could hear the purr in her voice, feel the playful nip on my neck, relish in the resulting shudder. The dress was immediately torn apart in her haste, as promised. I knew then that prior to her accepting the amulet her catharsis involved murder, torturing the demons that threatened me and my kingdom, displaying their bodies in increasingly more sadistic ways as a warning to the other would-be assassins. This was a much better use of her pent of aggression, it had just required some clever channelling. My hand reached up, wrapping around her amulet and pulled-

At that, the dream seemed to stop abruptly. Just as the surreal feeling fell away the still-princess, now in control of her own form, was greeted with a familiar face: The Cosmic Owl. For a moment they only stared at one another, the bird hovering in the air before her.  _ Wait, this was a Cosmic Owl Dream? But that means-  _ The cosmic being gave her a knowing look that bordered on sad. “It’s always the smartest minds that miss the easiest solutions.” Once again they merely stared at one another in silence before the Cosmic Owl shrugged. “Well, good luck, Your Majesty!” With a clap of his wings the dream came to an end.

Bonnibel’s eyes shot open as she gasped for breath. Already her mind was racing to catch up to what she had seen, what she had experienced and learned, taking no pause to mentally recover from the sudden shift in her perspective to reorient herself. Absentmindedly, her hand came to her shoulder, suddenly desperate to feel if Marceline’s bite mark remained. When she felt the wound she wasn’t sure if the tears stinging her eyes were happy or sad. Not knowing how long she had been asleep for she strained her ears for the vampires and heard their muffled conversation through the trapdoor. Not well enough to hear it, but well enough to know they were engrossed in one another and probably would not be done anytime soon. Setting aside her bag she quietly rose and approached the back door, opening it a crack. The site of Finn and Jake so heavily focused on their game was a relief as well, and the monarch returned to her chair, curling up with the half-demon’s diary.

_ Okay, we have two categories of events to consider. The first is the threat of the Lich’s return, and what that means for my kingdom.  _ She frowned, wishing Finn had left his notebook for her to record her observations.  _ Alright. So. Apparently the other kingdoms were at least under my protection, which means my kingdom was bigger and more powerful. That’s a pleasant development. The Lich’s return involved him raising an army, literally. That’s not a pleasant development. Phoebe appeared to be a close ally. That’s an interesting development.  _ She sighed.  _ And yet… _

Bonnibel thought of what she knew the real purpose of the dream had been: Marceline.  _ I was queen. We were married. Most of the other princesses were varying degrees of terrified of her, and I’m sure that’s one explanation of how the Candy Kingdom expanded. She mentioned that I rule two kingdoms, and so I must be involved in the Nightosphere somehow. The castle was regarded as her home. Pep-But seemed almost happy to see her. She was definitely unstable still, and I get the feeling that she was more than willing to attack LSP, but she managed to restrain herself.  _ Bonnibel frowned.  _ And what was up with her and Phoebe?  _ The princess wasn’t sure if she was currently experiencing curiosity or jealousy, but put the thought to the side for now.  _ Marceline commanded her demons enough that not only were they willing to fight for me they were looking forward to it. That’s quite the deviation from their normal hobby of trying to kill me. _

This brought Bubblegum to the main attraction of the dream, one she had no choice but to confront.  _ She was wearing my royal gem on her arm. An object designed to block out corrupting influences, and we were using it to help her regulate the influence of her chaos amulet. She was still clearly unstable, and I could feel the chaotic energy emulate from her, sense her temper below the surface… but she was still Marcy. She knew who I was. We were even married for flub’s sake. And not a marriage of convenience either; we were definitely in love still. I felt it, and I saw the way she looked at me. Marceline doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to-  _ With a start, Bonnibel’s eyes widened.  _ I didn’t ask her to do a globin’ thing. She just did it all on her own.  _ The candy golem curled into the chair, head resting on the armrest.  _ I even recognized that the royal gem wasn’t a panacea. I knew that we needed to work on her weaknesses… and I said ‘we’ need to. Not just her. _

Her heart dropped and she took a deep breath to steel herself against the conclusion she finally drew.  _ I didn’t need to force her. If I had been truly logical about the situation I would have realized that there was another way. I would have recognized that in order to succeed with this endeavor her emotions and mental weaknesses would need to be addressed and cured in order for her to reach her full potential. I even had a second royal gem to use! I could have destroyed the dagger like I was flippin’ supposed to and used it to actually solve a problem instead of threaten her into obedience! ...If I had truly treated her as an equal and not a project I would have seen this solution. This never needed to happen. None of it. This really is all my fault. _

There was only one thing Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum could say in this situation.

“...Scheiße.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
>  
> 
> Dead:
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Dead:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	10. Civil War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Aaaand we're back! So, I lied a little. While nothing's happy here it also isn't all that dark, as I decided to split what was supposed to be chapter 10 into two chapters. So, you get one last tame chapter where I establish a whole bunch of unexciting set-up for the next few chapters before everything goes horribly wrong for our heroes and stays that way for more or less the rest of the story.
> 
> As always, I cannot thank all of you bookmarkers, commenters, and kudos-ers enough. You have no idea how much it makes my day to see the e-mail notification that someone's acknowledging I exist and that they like what I'm doing.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> So much foreshadowing  
> Lots of talking  
> Bonnibel isn't the best at learning lessons  
> Peer pressure  
> Unresolved angst

**** “Whatcha thinkin’ about, Jake?”

“I’ve been thinking, and isn’t it weird how you can’t take off your underwear without taking your pants off first?”

“Jake… you don’t wear pants.”

“Yeah, but like. If I did. It’s an important hindrance to the way I choose to live my life and I’m not gonna take it anymore!”

“Represent.”

Completely ignorant of Princess Bubblegum’s dual crises of conscience and identity Finn and Jake, having thoroughly exhausted their appreciation of Cloud Hunt, had decided to say nuts to their beloved childhood game and instead climbed onto the roof of Marceline’s house to stare at the ceiling of the cave. Jake had taken to laying on his back with Finn’s bag as his pillow, while his younger brother found a comfortable position on his butt, knees pulled to his chest. Comfortable lulls during adventures were rare luxuries, but when they did occur the duo often chose to celebrate by star or cloud gazing while pondering the mysteries of the universe. This was certainly the strangest adventure they had ever been on and, despite the lack of sky, this only made for some serious pondering.

“Hey Jake?”

“Yeah?”   
  
“Do you think bathtubs are just… reverse boats?”

“Nah man, bathtubs have their own stories going on.”   
  
“Like what?”   
  
“Politics. It’s all politics.”

“Huh.”

A comfortable silence settled over the two.

“Hey Jake?”   
  
“Yeah?”   
  
“What do you think the Marcelines are talking about? She ran into the house pretty fast when you brought up the Usurper.”

“That’s true, and it’s definitely suspicious.” He nodded, still staring at the ceiling. 

When he didn’t continue Finn did. “I’m sort of concerned about that.”

“Why?”

“It seems like every time a Marceline gets anxious about something it’s followed up by something terrible happening.”

“Nah, you’re being paranoid. I’m sure whatever’s happening right now will in no way involve us and will just resolve itself in a timely and efficient manner.”

Another silence befell them both before Finn broke it. “Nah, man. I’m gonna go see what’s happening. See if we need to hero it up in here.” He stood, turning to look at the dog. “You coming, Jake?” 

His older brother scrunched his face in thought, rubbing his chin with his paw. “You make a very compelling argument. And the house  _ is  _ where the food lives…” As if reminded of some great life truth Jake bounded to his feet, picking up the green backpack. “Last one down’s lame!” Rather than jump off, as would be his typical form of departure, he elected this time to turn into a slide, both brothers laughing as Finn gracefully slid from roof to ground. After Jake righted himself the two returned to the house, the boy strapping his bag on as they entered.

While the brothers found entertainment in pondering the mysteries of the universe Princess Bubblegum had taken to reading more of the diary, hoping that it could somehow shed light on her Cosmic Owl dream.  _ It couldn’t have come from nowhere. I’m missing something.  _ The dream had revealed what actions she could have taken to avert the tragedy that befell her vampire, yet that wasn’t enough.  _ The damage has been done. How do I fix it? Think, Bubblegum! Every problem has a solution!  _ As before, the entries were out of order but whereas before she found this fact an endearing reflection of its owner’s general mentality in life she now found it frustrating.  _ It’s like her mind is trying to stop me from succeeding in helping her! Typical.  _ She winced at the thought.  _ I’m still doing it, aren’t I? Maybe I can’t- _

“We’re back! What did we miss?”

Finn’s call snapped her out of her frantic search. In the few precious moments Princess Bubblegum was granted before the heroes could enter the living room she closed the diary, wrapping it securely with its string before returning it to her bag. Finn was a gentle, trustworthy soul but Jake was and would always be a snooper. By the time they found her she was sitting in a relaxed-yet-alert posture in her makeshift throne, both hands folded over her bag neatly. “Guten tag, Finn and Jake! How was your game?” 

Finn frowned, and for a brief moment the princess was sure that her nervousness was visible. Her concerns were alleviated by the boy’s next words. “Jake cheats.” 

The dog looked indignant. “That’s slander, boy! You take that back!” Before a faux argument could break out Bubblegum sighed, closing her eyes briefly. 

“Wait.” 

They did, turning their attention to her.  _ Swallow your pride, Bonnibel. You can’t do this alone. Most likely.  _ “While you were outside I…” She paused, trying to overcome the taste of her own medicine. “...I fell asleep and had a dream.” 

Jake blinked. “Was I in it?” 

She smiled sadly. “No. It was a Cosmic Owl dream.”

No sooner had those words left her lips both of her champions took spots on the floor, lying on their stomachs, heads resting in their palms, arms supported by the elbows. Their eyes were wide with a mixture of understanding and fascination. “Wait, here? In Marceline’s  _ brain _ ?!” Finn’s voice was a whisper. “Can he do that?” 

Unlike the boys, who wore smiles of awe, the candy golem’s smile was melancholy. “Evidently.” 

Jake’s squeal betrayed his excitement. “Tell. Us. Everything.” 

Her gaze turned towards the trapdoor, but the muffled voices had only groan louder, more engaged, and clearly their owners had no plans to descend anytime soon. Once she was sure that the boys were settled, and that she wouldn’t be interrupted, she closed her eyes, sighed deeply, and began. “It was in an indeterminate time in the future, in the Candy Kingdom. I was in my body, but I had no control over my emotions or actions.” When she opened her eyes she noticed both boys were leaning forward, eyes wide. She gracefully ignored their unsettling interest, clearing her throat to reclaim some of the dignity that this debacle of an adventure had robbed her of.

“It was in my castle, at a meeting I had called. Dozens of princesses were present.” She spat the next words. “The Lich had returned.” Two pairs of eyes widened further, Jake’s paws covering his mouth, but their owners didn’t interrupt. “The other kingdoms were close allies of the Candy Kingdom. Even the Fire Kingdom! But the biggest difference between that reality and ours…” She trailed off for several moments, not quite sure how to continue. When she finally did so her voice was tight with repressed emotion. “Marceline… she was Lady Evil. But she was still Marceline. Clearly chaotic, and rather disquieting, but she knew who I was. She knew what  _ we  _ were, what we meant to one another.” 

Finn tilted his head. “Wait. So she was controlling the amulet?” The implicit question: How? 

Bonnibel’s smile was forlorn as she removed her crown. “She was. She… she used my royal gem.” 

Jake made a strange, high-pitched noise that she elected to not address. Finn decided to be a bit more insightful. “Wait. I thought royal gems…?” He didn’t need to finish the sentence for the princess to know where he was going with that thought. 

“Yes. We… were married.”

Now it was the boy’s turn to make an odd noise, though this one was less high-pitched and more choking. “Woah. Like, legit married? Married married?” Bonnibel ran her right index and middle fingers over the gem, her attention focused entirely on it. It made relaying the dream so much more bearable to not look at the enraptured faces of her young friends. 

“Yes, Finn. Married married.” Her smile turned bittersweet. “I… made a bracer for her, and faceted my royal gem into it. She used it to help counter the malice of the amulet, giving her some control over its power while preventing her from falling prey to its influence.” 

“Would that actually work?” 

The young monarch nodded absently. “It should, yes, though it is unprecedented. A royal gem’s purpose is to filter out undue influence after all. If it could repel the Lich for a time it should grant some shielding from the chaos amulet as well.” 

Jake sounded awed. “Woooaaah. That’s true love right there. You actually gave up your royal gem for her?” 

Now the princess shifted in her seat. “Well, yes and no. While Marceline possessed my royal gem I retained the gem from my dagger.” She sighed.  _ No sense hiding from it now, Bubblegum. Just tell them.  _ “Real talk, boys. This entire situation is entirely my fault.” Finn moved to interrupt, but she shook her head and he settled once more. “That was the point of the dream. If I hadn’t been so focused on making Marceline into what I wanted her to be I would have realized that there was a more appropriate solution to my dilemma. I lost sight of the very purpose of my endeavor, which was...” One pink hand unconsciously clenched the folds of the bag, the other the crown. “We were happy in my dream. And together. We shared a life and two kingdoms. Yes, she was clearly unstable, and the other princesses were more than a little afraid of her, but she was still Marceline.  _ My  _ Marceline.” She could no longer look at either of the heroes. “My hubris prevented me from realizing that there was a way to get what I wanted without hurting her. I was just so obsessed with solving a problem I forgot who I was supposed to be solving it for.” 

Finn’s expression turned somber at the sight of his princess so disheartened. “What are you going to do, Preebs?” 

The crown was returned to its rightful spot. “I haven’t devised a strategy yet. I need to impress upon Marceline that my actions were unnecessary and counterproductive while emphasizing that none of this was her fault. That she didn’t fail me, I failed her.” 

Jake blinked. “Wait, she thinks this was her fault?” 

“I have no concrete evidence, but…” 

When she trailed off he nodded. “Nah, I getcha. You don’t be with someone that long without picking up their little things they does.” 

Finn’s gaze shifted to the trapdoor. “Are you going to tell her about the dream?” 

The princess followed his look. “I… haven’t decided yet.” 

Now his eyes turned to her in shock. “You have to, Bubs!” His voice dropped to a hiss of a whisper, “You can’t just ignore a Cosmic Owl dream.” 

Jake nodded his agreement sagely. “Premonition dreams are serious biz.” 

She frowned, tearing her eyes from the trapdoor. “Is it really a premonition dream if the events are of an alternate reality?” 

The dog raised an eyebrow. “What makes you think it’s an alternate reality?” Bonnibel’s retort died on her lips.  _ He’s… he’s right. I just made yet another assumption. Am I wrong about this as well?  _ The analytical part - which she was slowly realizing may not actually be all that much of a failsafe in the pursuit of knowledge - quickly revisited the events of the dream, looking for any hint, any indication at all that the Cosmic Owl wasn’t showing her an alternate series of events, but rather a potential future.

Mercifully, after intense concentration, she found what she was looking for, her eyes widening.

_ Is that dress new, Bon? _

_ It is. _

_ It’s nice. _

_ It better be. Jan worked very hard on it. I think he’s terrified of me. _

_ He better be. He knows who his Lady is, and he knows who his Lady’s queen is. Besides, after what he pulled- _

_ I know, Marcy, I know. _

_ I’m just saying, I let him off easy. _

“Finn. I need your notebook.” The conviction in her voice was so forceful that the boy didn’t hesitate, dumping his bag, and its contents, onto the floor in his haste. At once all three lowered themselves to meet the pile, the princess snatching the notebook at the same time her champion removed the pen from his arm, knowing that she was just going to break it off anyway in his frenzy and hoping that she both could and would reattach it. His sacrifice went unnoticed, so focused was Bubblegum on mapping out the course of events from her dream.  _ This changes everything! At least, it could! If this dream wasn’t prophetic why would that conversation have occurred? We would have had no reason to engage in this mission, which means Jan never would have attacked me.  _

“Uh… Preebs?” 

Her long experience in tuning Finn out was suddenly a skill she highly valued.  _ I suppose Marceline could have been referring to a different instance-  _

“Peebo?” 

_ -but that’s so oddly specific! I had no idea as to the existence of Jan before this journey, why would-  _

“PRINCESS!” 

Finn’s shout snapped the monarch out of her thoughts and she blinked hard, dazed at having suddenly returned to reality. Her voice was tight with irritation. “Yes, Finn?” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Just checking on this. You’re trying to figure out if your dream is actually gonna come true, right?” When she nodded as if the answer were painfully obvious and returned her attention to the notebook both brothers exchanged a glance. “Uh… do you… how do I put this…?” 

Jake decided to help in his own special way. “You don’t know a lot about the Cosmic Owl, do you?” His statement was said so factually that Bonnibel took it as an accusation and turned back to him, ready to argue. Unfortunately for her, the dog was prepared. “Because the Cosmic Owl… premonition dreams are his  _ thing.  _ That’s what he does. Well, that and croak dreams.” She stared, wondering where he was going with this. “Look, what I’m trying to say is, his dreams happen. It’s what he does. He shows up in dreams and then they happen.” 

Her brow furrowed at the assertion. “Wait, do they happen because he showed up, or does he show up to tell you they’re going to happen?” 

The older hero shrugged. “Eh, he was never clear on that.” 

But Bubblegum had once again dropped out of reality and back into her own thoughts at the implication.  _ The boys have been mistaken in the past, but their experiences as adventurers cannot be discounted, even if they are fantastic. If Jake’s claim is accurate, and the dream was prophetic…  _ Her eyes widened.  _...Oh. My. Glob.  _

Jake beamed at his handiwork. “So… are you going to tell her?”

All three jumped at the sound the trapdoor behind slammed, followed by the commotion of two irate vampires.

“-Can’t believe I’m hearing this crud!”

“Would you just  _ listen _ to me?”

“Nuts to that! I’m outta here!”

“You can’t just ignore something because you don’t like it! No wonder Bubblegum finds this so annoy-”

However Marceline planned to finish that sentence was stopped by her being pinned to the wall of the living room by a very indignant Unifier, their friends watching in a mixture of fear and fascination as the latter’s elbow threatened to crush the former’s chest. “I thought we agreed  _ not  _ to talk about her?” 

Unintimidated by what were essentially her own antics, Marceline folded her arms defiantly. “That’s another thing!  _ You  _ agreed, Unifier, not me! You can’t ignore The Bubblegum Problem either! It’s not going away, so deal with it!” The princess flinched, silently looking forward to the day she was no longer considered a ‘problem’. Neither half-demon seemed to notice her discomfort. “Now get our perfect butt back upstairs so we can finish talking about-”

The Unifier bared her fangs. “I  _ am  _ finished! You’re lucky I don’t gank you right now!” 

Marceline’s eyebrows shot up in disbelief. “ _ Excuse me? _ ” She sighed, her eyes closing only momentarily before they opened suddenly. 

Before the trio knew what happened the two had moved, the Unifier sprawled on the floor as Marceline’s foot pinned her at the chest. In her hand she held the Unifier’s axe out of reach. “HEY! Give it back!” 

Contrary to her attitude mere moments before, Marceline’s voice was now calm and taunting, and she was doing nothing to hide her amusement. “No, you need to calm down.” When the pinned queen tried to force herself up the foot forced her back down. 

“You can’t just take my bass!” 

Her taunting became mocking. “Uh… the Law of ‘Bigger Than You’ says I can, dweeb. I’m stronger than you, so I make the rules, not you. It’s the law. My hands are tied.” She tilted her head. “So, you gonna calm down?” Another failed attempt to force herself up became another successful attempt to push her back down. “Man, we don’t learn sometimes, do we?” Her head shook in disbelief. “Now knock it off. We have guests and you’re being a wad.” 

“Yeah, guests who should be leaving!” 

Marceline snorted derisively. “We  _ just  _ went through this upstairs.”

Finn and Jake exchanged a look, silently agreeing that they needed to break up the fight before it really turned violent. While they had yet to receive a clear answer as to how strong this Marceline was she was evidently powerful enough to both pin the Unifier to the ground using only one foot while snatching her axe at the same time. More importantly to Finn, though, she didn’t seem as keen as the Unifier was to kick them out, and he was going to grab onto that fact with everything he could. “Uh… guys?” They paid him no mind, still engrossed in bickering with one another. “GUYS!” 

Both turned to him wearing identical glares. “WHAT?!” 

He held up his hands in defense. “Let’s all calm down and-” 

“Finn, stay out of this!”

“But shouldn’t we-” Without answering, both vampires continued their conversation, Marceline gripping the Unifier’s axe tightly. By now she had rested it blade-side down on the floor, parallel to its owner’s head. 

“I get it-” 

“No you don’t! You weren’t there!” 

“So what gives you the right to-” 

The Unifier snarled, “They need to go.  _ She  _ needs to go before she gonks anything else up!” 

Marceline frowned, eye twitching. “You don’t-” 

“We don’t need to be whole, and we don’t need to forgive her! We move on, that’s it, end of story!”

When the Unifier’s own axe was lifted to the air it came down with enough force to crack the floor. It just barely missed the pinned half-demon’s head, and the room fell silent. Marceline kept her hand on the axe’s staff, eyes dark with fury, hand shaking with rage. “Get this through our thick head. You don’t speak for us. You don’t get to decide what we do about The Bubblegum Problem. You’re not the only one that matters, you idiot!” 

The Unifier looked flabbergasted. “Wait. Are you  _ seriously _ going to forgive her? After what she did to us?!” 

Bonnibel felt her heart rise… “Of course not!” ...and fall. Marceline, however, wasn’t finished with her other self. “But you don’t get to decide what we’re all going to do! Don’t be a tyrant-” 

The Unifier balked, then snarled, trying to escape her position with renewed vigor. “Don’t compare me to  _ her _ !” 

Marceline’s hand tightened around the Unifier’s axe. “Then don’t act like her!” 

“You ever thought about how you can’t see how messed up this all is because you weren’t there?” 

The still-free vampire rolled her eyes. “You ever thought about how you  _ can’t decide for all of us what we’re going to do?! _ ” For once, the pinned vampire was silent, and in response Marceline lowered her voice from a shout. “Maybe we should leave Bubblegum. Maybe we shouldn’t. But there are four others of us who don’t know what happened, and we can’t pick for them what we’re going to do.” 

Now it was the Unifier’s term to scoff. “Seems like a pretty simple choice!” 

For a moment Marceline regarded her weaker self blankly. “Simple choice, huh.” It was a statement, not a question, and she trailed her eyes to the axe’s blade, still embedded in the floor. “You know, Unifier, you had one job: gank us and absorb our souls. You know, make us whole. You don’t want to do that, do you.” Another statement. “You just want to be mad. You don’t want to fix anything. But you know…” Her grin was made of something dark. “I never really wanted to be whole. I just want to go back to Ooo. And nothing says I need you to do that.” Grey fingers drummed on the bass’s staff, the room filling with unease as the occupants began to realize exactly what Marceline was implying. “I don’t like having rules and orders forced down my throat. I don’t like looking at myself have a temper tantrum like a weenie. So, speaking of simple choices, it seems like ganking  _ you _ and going back myself seems like a simple choice, right?” Finn and Jake prepared to jump into the fray, only to be startled when the undead hand abruptly withdrew from the weapon.

“But you know what? That would make me like you.” Her arms crossed. “You don’t get to choose what we do. I don’t get to choose what we do. You’re not the only one that matters!” She took a deep breath, hoping it would steady her. It didn’t, so she exhaled forcefully. “This entire situation blows! I get that! Yeah, it hurts! I know because I’m you, you dip!” The Unifier’s hands clenched, both sets of demonic eyes feeling the sting of tears. Marceline ignored them and continued. “But right now we’re all we have, and we have to live with ourself! So before we make a dramatic undead-life-changing decision we need to know for sure we’re making the right call.” She paused, her voice dropping to a hushed whisper. “Because once we’ve made our choice there’s no going back.” 

The Unifier’s response came through clenched teeth. “Do you really,  _ really  _ think she’s even capable of loving us?” Marceline opened her mouth to answer, closing it when she reconsidered her response. “We can’t give her the chance to manipulate us again. That’s what she does. You give her the chance and she’ll find any weakness we have and that she can and it’ll be her weapon. It’s…” She sighed. “It’s just what she does.” Marceline didn’t argue that point, falling silent.

Bonnibel felt her heart shatter anew watching the exchange. Within mere moments she had witnessed the woman she loved almost destroy herself - literally. She watched as her maybe-girlfriend fought an internal battle - literally - about what they were calling ‘The Bubblegum Problem’, a reflection of the vampire’s own turmoil about what they should do about their relationship. The princess’s feelings were highly conflicted; on the one hand, the wound she had inflicted in her lover was obviously deep, maybe too deep to even scar. Yet on the other hand, at least one part of her vampire seemed willing to at least hear her out, objecting to the idea of making a rash decision.  _ I never knew Marceline could be so... thoughtful. I suppose there was a lot about Marceline I never knew.  _ This was her opportunity to try to sway the situation in her favor, to show both queens that she genuinely loved them, that she valued their centuries-long relationship for the relationship itself, not what the older woman could do for the pink monarch.  _ What can I do? What can I even say? After what I did they’re just going to think I’m trying to use them. Good job, Bubblegum, you’ve really outdone yourself this time. How can I make them see how much they matter to me?  _ The mental conflict had turned into an all-out war for the candy golem as she struggled for a solution, knowing that this would potentially be the one chance she would ever have-

“I’m sorry!”

Four sets of eyes slowly turned towards the princess, who only then realized that she was the one who had spoken. It was Marceline who replied, with a quiet and disbelieving, “...What?” Bonnibel looked between both vampires equally, trying to push all of the love, sincerity, and guilt she felt to her eyes, wanting them to see and understand how guilty she really felt, needing them to believe every word she said. 

“I’m sorry. What I did was wrong. I…” Sincere and meaningful apologizing was a foreign concept to Bubblegum, and she was making every effort to make sure she got it right. “I would like to say I made a mistake, but that would imply that I was naive. I wasn’t naive.” Both were watching her silently, encouraging her to continue. “I knew what I was doing. I didn’t care. I was so sure of myself and my logic that I disregarded you as a person. I prioritized the assumption that you would one day betray me over the trust I should have placed in you. I made a promise to you, and I not only broke it I ignored it entirely.” Bubblegum resisted every urge to squirm under their judging gazes, refusing any portrayal that she was being anything less than honest, even if she could feel four demonic eyes boring into her. “I have no excuses. There aren’t any. You didn’t deserve this. Not the dagger, and not how I’ve treated you. I’m sorry, Marceline. I’ve been a real dinger to you.”

The silence in the room was deafening. When it was broken it was by Marceline, who had turned from Bonnibel back to the still-pinned Unifier. “Has she ever apologized to us before?” It was a question, not a statement, an attempt to gather information rather than fling accusations. The Unifier crossed her arms. 

The conviction remained in her voice, but the biting tone had vanished. “Once. Remember the varmints in the mines?”

“Hm.” Marceline seemed lost in thought, ignoring the Unifier’s mutter, “You can get off of me at any time.” She didn’t though, she only drummed her fingers on the axe’s handle in thought. “Yeah but… except for that one time?”

“Not really.” 

“Yeah, didn’t think so.” They paused to focus on one another, the drumming ceasing. “We can’t just ignore that, Unifier.” 

A growl emerged from the back of her throat. “Why not? You know she’s manipulating us. She’s lying. It’s a thing she does.” 

“Yeah, but actually caring about how her actions affect people? That isn’t a thing she does. Pride is like her deal. You know?” The Unifier did, but that did nothing to assuage her determination. 

While the two were distracted by their debate the princess stared at them intently, willing the conversation to turn in her favor.  _ Come on, Marceline. Just believe me, dang it!  _ Her anxiety was bubbling into edginess, which in turn was giving way to something darker and it was taking concentrated effort to keep that ‘something darker’ out of her expression. The scientist knew that if she was ever going to truly convince Marceline - any Marceline - that she had seen the error of her ways she would need to first break the destructive habits within herself. Already this was proving more challenging than she had anticipated and she found herself wavering between gratitude that they were even discussing her apology at all and impatience for them to just get on with it already. Her focus was broken by Finn, whose new hobby seemed to be waving his hand furiously at the princess. After almost a solid minute she noticed, and he rewarded her by mouthing, ‘tell her about the thing!’, pointing forcefully at the notebook. When understanding shone in green eyes he smiled, flashing her a thumbs up.

“Wait!”

Once again, all eyes turned towards the younger woman, who cleared her throat. “There’s, ah… one other facet of inform-” Their looks were unamused, and she thought it better to skip to the point. “While you two were upstairs having your discussion and Finn and Jake were outside playing I took a nap.” 

“Congratulations.” 

“The nap led to a Cosmic Owl dream.” The Unifier rolled her eyes and made it a point to look anywhere except at Bonnibel.

Marceline however, raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Alright, I’ll bite. What about?” 

A pink hand picked up the notebook, opening it to the first page containing her notes. “Ah, well… it took place in the future. I’m not entirely sure how far in the future. I mentioned Finn and Jake, so it couldn’t have been too far, but with no other-”  _ Stop rambling, Bubblegum!  _ “...Anyway, in this future you and I were, ah… married.” 

Marceline stared blankly. “Married.” 

The Unifier’s tone was bitter as she turned to scowl at the princess. “What happened to your ‘special rule’ about only marrying royalty? You know, the reason I’m in this mess in the first place?!” 

No longer able to resist, Bonnibel finally squirmed. “That was the point of the dream. You took up the mantle of ruling the Nightosphere.” 

The Unifier did nothing to contain her mocking laugh, but Marceline continued her impassive stare. “Why would I do a messed up thing like that? In case you haven’t noticed…” She gestured to the world around them. Now at the moment of truth, the princess prepared herself to reveal the truth. 

“You were wearing a royal gem.  _ My _ royal gem.”

The Unifier’s laughter died at the same time Marceline replied, “What.” 

Unable to read the emotion behind the statement Bubblegum continued, removing her crown once more. “Yes. I fashioned my royal gem into a bracer for you to wear. It did not prevent the amulet’s negative influence entirely, but it did act to make it more bearable, and easier for you to control.” 

The pinned demon rolled her eyes. “Right. You’d willingly give up your royal gem and leave yourself vulnerable.” 

“Well, not entirely…” She averted her gaze from the two vampires, flushing slightly in her embarrassment. “I, ah… kept the royal gem in my dagger as a substitute.” 

Like her expression, Marceline’s voice was full of indecipherable emotion. “Right, let me just make sure I’m clear. You gave me your royal gem to help soften the impact of the fact that it’s  _ literally  _ made of pure evil, and I’m guessing, since it’s a Cosmic Owl dream and all, that it worked.” 

The younger woman nodded. “Yes. Well, mostly. It did limit the power you could draw from the amulet, but it worked in allowing you to wear it without it-”  _ preying on your weakness  _ “-almost killing you.”  _ Tell her the rest. Don’t go back to keeping secrets.  _ With palpable hesitation, she revealed a piece of the puzzle she had failed to mention even to the brothers. “Further… I acknowledged in my dream that it was not your sole responsibility to overcome the amulet’s impact on your mental and emotional states. It… I helped you.” Her eyes dropped, her voice becoming hushed with shame. “It should always have been my responsibility. I see that now. I should have seen that before.”

After giving her a long, hard look Marceline dropped her gaze back to the still-helpless vampire. “We can’t ignore a Cosmic Owl dream.” 

The Unifier’s eyes grew wide in disbelief. “Hold up. Are you straight up  _ seriously  _ telling me that you believe her?!” 

“It’s a weirdly specific thing to lie about.”

“Dude, she’s  _ Bubblegum _ ! She lies like she breathes!” The pink monarch in question winced at the accusation, but knew this was neither the time nor the place to argue its accuracy. As it stood the constant attacks on her character were beginning to grate on her, and it was starting to take concentrated self-control not to lash back.  _ If she wasn’t so hurt she’d realize she’s not exactly blamele- stop that, Bubblegum! Sheesh!  _ Her crown was returned to her head as she closely followed the exchange before her, hunting for another opportunity to insert herself, to show both of them that she was capable of learning lessons that involved squishy and pointy emotions. 

Marceline rubbed her forehead in exasperation. “I’m not saying she isn’t a liar by nature. What I  _ am  _ saying is that  _ for her  _ it’s a weird thing to make up. Prophecy isn’t exactly something she’s a strong believer in. If she wanted to make up a thing to justify herself why wouldn’t she just pick something science-y we wouldn’t understand in the first place? Instead of, you know, the Cosmic Owl. You know, the cosmic entity dad has on speed dial in his office?” Finn and Jake exchanged a look, the former of surprise, the latter of being impressed.

The Unifier fell silent, and Bonnibel began to wonder if they had made a breakthrough, if this was her next chance for damage control. This turned out to not be the case when the trapped half-demon craned her neck to look at the princess, and only the princess. “Yeah, that’s got me thinking. That royal gem idea… that’s a pretty simple solution to a problem you made so complex you almost killed us. Again. So why, O’ Queen of the Brainlords, didn’t you do that in the first place?!” The vitriol in those words was a venom so potent the young scientist suddenly found herself feeling very small, even as some deep part of her mind reeled at the idea that she was being lectured about foresight by Marceline of all people. 

“To be honest, I… didn’t actually think of that potential solution.” 

Marceline stared in incredulity as the Unifier began to laugh mirthlessly. “Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, smartest woman alive, didn’t think to use the thing  _ she wears on her head  _ to solve her centuries-long problem?” Her smirk was only half mocking, the other half something unreadable, something wounded. “Looks like you aren’t as perfect as you thought. Guess you can’t judge me anymore.” 

The princess took a deep breath, teeth grating. She had been suffering snarky and off-handed comments for the entire conversation but that remark in particular, that overpowering sense of deja vu, that feeling that maybe it was  _ Marceline  _ who needed to learn from the past as well, that finally broke her resolve.  _ Don’t do it Bonnibel, don’t do it, just ignore-  _ “I never said you had to be perfect!”  _...And there it is. Stellar job, Bubblegum.  _ Unseen by either of the combatants, Finn buried his face in his hands while Jake shook his head sadly.

With a bitter laugh the Unifier turned back to Marceline. “See that? She can’t even suck up her pride for an apology.” 

Her other self frowned, but didn’t exactly argue. Instead, she tried a different approach. “Look, I get it. We’re hurt. She broke our hearts. What she did… I’m not saying we forgive her, because what she did was unforgivable. All I’m saying is that we can’t choose-” 

The Unifier rolled her eyes. “You just don’t get it. I was  _ happy  _ with my new life. I had my jams, I went out and killed something every so often, the rest of you left me alone. No sun, no going red-starved, no problems. Then these dinguses showed up, told me they missed me.  _ She  _ told me she missed me. I didn’t want to go back. I still don’t! But we’ve never been able to say ‘no’ to her. Not for long. So I thought, ‘well, I’ll go along with it. At least… I know she’s okay now.” Marceline watched her carefully. “We covered all the windows for a reason. We  _ all  _ agreed it was better this way. But suddenly she was here, and I couldn’t make her leave. Trust me, I tried.” No one seemed to notice, but Finn and Jake nodded quickly. “She said she missed me and I believed her. I trusted her. And she stabbed me with a silver dagger.” A pause, letting those words sink in. “I can’t trust her. I’m tired of her breaking my heart and using me. Why the flip are you letting her do it again?!”

After giving herself a long, piercing stare the stronger of the two spoke softly with a voice equal parts tired and pained. “Would you  _ listen  _ to yourself? I told you, I’m not forgiving her. I’m saying we need to put it to a vote.” 

“This isn’t a demo-” 

“No, but it’s the best we have. Two options. We never forgive her and cut our ties-” Bonnibel took a sharp breath. “-Or we hear her out.” Before Bubblegum could provide her input a grey hand rose, stopping her. She blinked at the accurate prediction of her behavior.  _ She always did know me best. That’s hardly a surprise, though. She’s my best friend. At least…   _ “That’s all I’m saying. Majority rule, we’ll consider it what we really want.” 

“She-” 

“Broke our heart, shattered our psyche, used us for personal and political gain, yeah,  _ I know _ , Unifier. But my vote is we hear her out. Hurting us isn’t her only hobby. She’s helped us. She was our mate. We have history.  _ Good  _ history, don’t make that face. Yeah, she’s manipulative and, like, the queen of schemers, but I think she loved us. I know we loved her. That’s why you’re losing it. So my vote is we hear her out, and if it’s not enough we leave her. I take it your vote is we cut our ties?” A nod. “Cool. And I think we both know where the Usurper stands on this. So, 2 to 1 right now.” She tilted her head. “Now, if I let you up are you going to do something stupid?” 

“Probably.” 

“Well, at least you’re honest.” She removed her foot, allowing the pinned vampire to finally stand. “But I know us, and I think once you calm your butt down you’re going to change your vote.” The response was an indecipherable mutter, the embedded axe reclaimed by its rightful owner.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the living room. Desperate to break it, Finn blurted the first thing that came to his mind. “Hey, Marceline, I’ve been wondering…” 

She turned to him, head tilted in curiosity. “Don’t wonder too hard Finn, you’ll break something.” 

He stuck his tongue out at her, which she returned, before he continued, just a tad more relaxed upon seeing that playful spark return. “No, for real, I was wondering. You just sort of held the Unifier down for a long time with just your foot…” 

Jake caught on. “Yeah! And you said the ‘Law of Bigger Than You’! So how much stronger than her are you?” 

The Unifier groaned. “Don’t get her started,  _ please- _ ” But it was too late, Marceline was already grinning. 

“Oh, I’m pretty up there. By which I mean ‘most awesome Marceline’ ever.” From behind she heard herself mutter, “except for the Big Three.” Rather than counter the point she just shrugged. “Yeah, except for them. Otherwise I’m the strongest. Awesome, right? Go on, you can tell me how awesome I am. I can take it.” No one did, and she frowned. “Lame. Ah, well. Not everyone can handle this sheer level of awesomeness anyway.” From the floor, Bubblegum absently wondered what part of Marceline’s mind could be so strong it would almost rival the three most dominant aspects. It was a question she dared not ask.

Finn adopted a look of thoughtfulness. “Have you ever fought one of those… I don’t know what you call them. Things?” 

“...Things?” 

“Yeah, the things that come after that weird metal screech thing.” 

She blinked at that, turning towards her weaker self. “Wait, has one of-” 

The Unifier sighed, exasperated. “I don’t know, man. We were on our way to take on the Usurper and we heard it, but we didn’t see it on the way there or back. You didn’t see it when you were with the wad, did you?” 

Marceline shook her head, frowning. “Nah, guy. Didn’t see anything. I thought I heard something, but it sounded pretty far away, and I had my own problem with the Gate.” Finn watched the exchange with his own frown.  _ Wait, another Gate? Does that mean she was meeting up with one of the Big Baddies?  _ He made a mental note to get the deets from her later, after she finished debriefing herself. Right now, however, he had a different topic in mind. 

“So if you’re the strongest of the ‘not-trying-to-kill-us-Marcelines’, does that mean you’re going to help us take down the Usurper?” 

Marceline had a sudden look of understanding. “Oh right! That’s what I went upstairs for in the first place!” Once again, the Unifier groaned in frustration. When she tried to float away she was pulled back by Jake, who ignored her glower. Marceline didn’t notice, her attention was now focused squarely on Finn. “So, about that. Tell me what happened when you went to the castle.”

For a moment the boy hesitated, shifting his eyes briefly towards Bonnibel.  _ Come on, Finn. She’s the best shot we have. Gotta tell her.  _ “Okay, so it went like this. We got to the kingdom, and the one of you that insisted she wasn’t a good guy but clearly was a good guy was waiting for us.” 

Marceline gave an irritated sigh. “Finn,  _ none  _ of us are good guys-” 

He ignored her, moving on. “We made it into the castle using the super secret passage to Peeble’s lab that we’re totally not supposed to know about and I’m sure we’ll never address again. The lab was trashed, though.” 

“Trashed?” 

“Yeah. Everything was broken, the computer was giving us an ominous message, we found a-”  _ Don’t mention the diary, don’t let her take it away from Peebs, it’s all she has  _ “-rank thing in the sink. Nasty stuff. Which is weird, because the Usurper was, like, ‘I left that room exactly the way I found it’ and junk.” Marceline nodded, engrossed in his description. “Then we went up the other passage into PB’s room, which was actually pretty normal except for all the razor wire. Anyway, we found evil-you in the throne room, in the throne and everything-” 

“She tried to end us!” Jake looked perturbed. 

Marceline raised an eyebrow, glancing to Jake before returning to Finn. “Is that it?” 

He shook his head. “Nah, man. She said that the Unifier and other-Marceline were supposed to bring someone to her, and got real mad when they didn’t.” 

“She said we were bad at negotiating! She insulted our honor!” Jake sounded disgruntled, and his younger brother made a noise of agreement. 

Marceline, however, wasn’t satisfied. “What else happened?” 

While Finn tried to recollect the nuances of the fight Jake jumped into the conversation. “She lost it when Bubblegum challenged her. You know, verbally. Then literally. With the knife.” 

Now her interest was piqued. “What happened there?”

“She was being a jerk about taking her throne! Then Bubblegum hit her with the knife and she went after us and-” 

“Wait. You guys attacked first, right?”

Jake blinked. “Well, the princess did, yeah.”

For some reason that answer seemed to bother her. “Huh. Alright, keep going.”

“Anyways, she tried really hard to gank all of us. Well, except Bubblegum, she was too far away, like a sane person. Then she killed other-you, gave the Unifier her soul, then she wanged the castle apart-”

“Why would she give us her soul?”

Jake shrugged. “She said it was an act of good faith, to go get ‘her’-” He used finger quotes to emphasize his disdain at the memory, “-so she could ‘solve her tool problem’.”

“Is that it?”   
  
“Yeah, pretty sure.”

Marceline sat with that information, turning towards the Unifier to silently ask if that really was everything. When she had nothing new to add she nodded. “Alright. Where is she now?” Her other self sighed, suddenly exhausted at the prospect yet to come. 

“She told us to meet up with her, and to bring her with us.” 

“So she’s-” 

“Yeah, she’s there. Or will be anyway.” 

Marceline groaned in frustration and ire. “Ugh, this is so stupid! I can’t believe we have to-” 

“We don’t  _ have  _ to do anything! We could just do nothing!”

She shot the nearly-powerless vampire a pointed look. “We can’t ‘do nothing’, or she’s just going to gank everyone else, then she’ll come after us anyway, you donkus!”

The Unifier pointed towards the kitchen. “Fine, then  _ you  _ do it, you wenis!”

As the two argued Jake eyed the pointing hand. Tilting his head he stood and walked around it, following its direction with his eyes, ignoring the furious vampires.  _ Where are you…  _ Keeping an eye on the hand he stretched his arm slowly, following the invisible trail into the other room.  _ Let’s see…  _ Curious as to what his brother was up to, Finn stood as well, Bonnibel following suit in her own intrigue.

“We  _ both  _ need to do it! You can’t get out of doing your one flippin’ job just because you’re not dealing with it well and still claim you have  _ any  _ say in what happens around here! Besides, we  _ just  _ agreed to do a vote like ten minutes ago! How do you think we’re going to do that if you just hide here?! We need everyone’s input! We might as well stop the psychopath while we’re finding them!”

“What do you want me to do?! I can fly and suck souls! So unless you’re volunteering-”

“If we  _ do  _ stay here I don’t want to have to spend all my freetime worrying about getting my head ripped-

When Jake’s arm finally reached its target he frowned. “Uh… vamp-ladybros?”

They turned to him in unison. “WHAT?”

He tapped the refrigerator door, mounted to the wall over what should have been the kitchen exit to the backyard. “This is what you were pointing to, right? The mysterious door with the mysterious silver chains that leads somewhere mysterious that mysteriously neither of you will tell us about?” When their reactions shifted from anger to nervousness he knew he was onto something and retracted his arm, crossing both. 

As his brother spoke Finn’s gaze had travelled to the kitchen as well, returning to the vampires when Jake’s arm returned to him. “That’s a good question. What’s up with that door anyway? You keep dodging us about it” Both queens eyed one another, visibly uneasy. 

“Uh…” 

Alarmed by the sudden change in their dispositions Bonnibel joined the inquisition, folding her arms tightly. “Yes, Marceline, what  _ is  _ up with that door? Where could it possibly lead that you would not only weld it shut but hang silver chains to prevent yourself from accessing it?” Abruptly, she had an epiphany. “Wait. When we first arrived and saw the door I assumed it was the handiwork of the Unifier, as she was the only one we saw living here. Yet she had no powers of her own except for her strength. Which means it would have been impossible for her to set up such a barrier on her own.” Marceline began to fidget, eyes averted, lips tight as her possibly-former lover continued. “You helped, didn’t you?” It looked like a question, it even sounded like one, but it was most assuredly an allegation. There was no response from her victim and the princess felt herself begin to lose her temper at the poor behavior both vampires were exhibiting.

Finn frowned at the obvious guilt both half-demons were portraying, Marceline having found an interesting spot on the wall while the Unifier absently drummed her fingers on her axe’s handle. “Ladybros-” 

Without warning Marceline turned towards her counterpart, eyes wide. “You know, we should definitely go see if we can find whatever it was that emerged when that howling happened.” 

The Unifier immediately nodded. “Yup, let’s go do that right now!” 

Before they could flee a commanding voice cried out, “Don’t even think about running, Marceline!” It didn’t matter that they were in the middle of a bitter fight, nor did it matter that neither half-demon possessed a submissive bone in their bodies; when Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum had reached that level of ‘done with the situation’ one listened. They grimaced, eyeing each other in a mutual plea to find a way out of the situation. 

When both failed in their respective tasks they turned to face their friends. Finn’s look was of concern and worry, the situation clearly eating at him emotionally. Bonnibel’s posture was of irascibility, and it was a stark reminder as to why it was so many of Ooo’s denizens considered her objectively terrifying. Jake’s eyes held amusement crossed with disbelief, and he had begun to tap his foot in impatience. Marceline was used to her girlfriend’s scathing looks, that was par for the course. However, she was not accustomed to the looks offered by the heroic duo, and somehow found them even more distressing. Making people angry, even her mate, could be a fun past-time. This was not. Instead, this was making her heartguts uncomfortable. Once more, both undead monarchs exchanged a knowing look, signaling to one another that they may have lost this round. As the Unifier made it a point to examine the ceiling, the wall, anywhere but the living room and its occupants Marceline grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck in an obvious portrayal of her nervousness.

“...Promise you won’t be mad?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Dead:
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Dead:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	11. Ties That Bind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Guys! We just hit 100 kudos! Do you know how excited I am?! So excited that I've added an extra scene to this chapter! This is officially the second longest chapter in Rehearsal, and the longest chapter without world building. Exciting (I hope)!
> 
> So here's the dealio. When I first started Rehearsal I outright refused to confirm what aspects of Marceline would be given physical form - except for two. You've already met rage. So, here. Have the other one. I hope she's everything you hoped for.
> 
> As always, you guys literally have no idea how happy it makes me to see your comments/bookmarks/kudos. Like I've said before, those are the only reason I make it such a point to pump these chapters out so quickly. It really does make my day to see Rehearsal make so many people happy.
> 
> Content warnings:
> 
> Graphic Violence  
> Torture  
> Bondage (not the good kind)  
> A “Wild” Marceline Appears!  
> Fluffy Angst  
> A Second Slight Physical Altercation Between “Girlfriends”  
> Hints to Future Stories  
> Not a Lot of Finn and Jake (sorry boys!)  
> I’m Not Saying There’s a Consensual Domme/Sub Relationship Here But I’m Certainly Thinking it Loudly

**** There were moments in life, however rare, that Marceline Abadeer would reflect upon the choices she had made in her unnaturally long existence. Her father, once he decided to re-enter her life, had sought fit to try to teach her Valuable Life Lessons, not all of which she agreed with, be it out of a differing of opinions or just plain spite. Yet one lesson he was always insistent she learn - loudly - was that people are the summation of their life choices. She had disagreed, of course; life is far too complex to be the result of only a single aspect of it. The choices of others and random chance were just as important, had just as big an influence in the course of a lifepath. Some things just weren’t within someone’s control, no matter how much one might argue otherwise. Some people coped by attempting to micromanage every situation, controlling whatever whenever possible. Others left more than was necessary or even reasonable to random chance. Neither was a healthy coping mechanism really, but there they were nonetheless. Still, there was something to be said about the choices one makes in life having a profound effect on the summation of one’s destiny, that one must, by design, reap what they sowed.

As Marceline and the Unifier sat on their couch, shrinking under three harsh gazes, they mutually and silently decided that there may be something to the old man’s claim after all.

The Unifier’s seemingly innocent gesture towards the kitchen was what started it all. Actually, that was less-than-accurate; what started this all happened a very long time ago, that angry pointing was just what started this next stage in a series of bizarre and unfortunate events. It had led both vampires, both heroes, and the princess to the room in question, had identified the chained door as the subject in question. It had, of course, drawn the attention of their friends, and be it out of curiosity or control they had both asked and demanded answers, respectively. Of course, the two queens had tried to escape what they knew would soon be an inquisition, but that had proved literally impossible; Jake had blocked the only exit with his mass. Finn’s worried expression was guilt-inspiring, and Bonnibel’s harsh glare was paralyzing. Defeated, the two had allowed themselves to be marched to their couch, forced to sit like the guilty pair they were, under the supervision of their friends and maybe-former lover.

Marceline wasn’t stupid. She knew that, eventually, the contents behind the door would need to be revealed. She had been hiding in the house almost since the arrival of the interlopers, and realized well before the Unifier did that the trio wouldn’t be leaving any time soon, and was all-too aware of how good Bubblegum was at getting her to spill her secrets. Even without a submissive component, and even though they were involved in what may very well be a relationship-ending row,  the younger monarch was just too good at what she did. Logically, both vampires were stronger than the three outsiders. Sure, Jake was a fellow shapeshifter and Finn had his demon blood sword, but if it came down to it Marceline was a better shapeshifter and far faster, and both undead royals still possessed enormous strength. Yet even as desperate as they were both knew that such a response was grossly inappropriate. While the events that were about to unfold may seriously try their friendship it could not be argued that, for the moment at least, they were all best friends, and that such a response on their part was just something even they could not bring themselves to do, no matter how desperate they were.

Even though they were really, really desperate.

By now, both women had been unable to hold any gaze except one another’s, and that had proved pointless when they realized there was no way out of this situation except through it. Both sat next to one another on the couch, Marceline’s hands folding between her knees, the Unifier nervously drumming her fingers on the the cushion to her side - she would have preferred her bass, but those had been confiscated, and she was not dealing with her anxiety and its absence well. Her original plan had been to dig her nails into her hand to focus her energy, perhaps bite her cheek, or claw her bare arm, but all possible answers she had come up with involved self-mutilation in some way, and really, this would be the absolute worse time to break that rule. Whereas Marceline had hung her head in defeat the Unifier made it a point to keep her’s turned to the side, away from the other four. Before them Finn sat in Bonnibel’s makeshift thrown, face ashen. Jake stood next to him, shaking his head at the two, though neither knew if it was out of shame or pity. Princess Bubblegum stood before them, imposing and furious. Her voice was tight and controlled, ire overshadowing piercing green eyes.

“I’m sorry, I must not have heard you correctly. Would you like to repeat yourself?”

In any other situation the Unifier’s response would most assuredly had been ‘no’, but such sarcasm would be a terrible life choice at the moment. Instead she turned towards Marceline, shooting her a look that clearly read ‘your turn’. Unable to argue with that logic, she took a deep breath only to exhale sharply. When she spoke it was quiet, though hardly timid. She knew what she had done was right, she just had to make her friends see that. It would be difficult - especially the scientist - but could be accomplished if done so just right. Tricky, but not impossible. Or she hoped.

“Behind the door with the chains is… a room.” She squirmed nervously. “And inside the roo-” 

“I can’t hear you.” With a grimace she spoke slightly louder.

“Inside the room is one of us. Specifically, one of the Big Baddies.” The next part came in a rush. “We had to deal with her! She wanted to kill us both! We weren’t strong enough to stop her!”

Bonnibel’s look betrayed that she didn’t care. “So you put her in a cage.”

“...More or less, yeah.”

“If she’s that much stronger than you how did you cage her?”

The two guilty parties exchanged a knowing look before the Unifier jumped into the conversation. “Big Baddie Three.”

Finn blinked in confusion. “Just her? I thought you said that all three wanted to gank each other?”

The Unifier nodded, ignoring the first part of that inquiry entirely. “They do. But she… thought this would be funnier.” At Bonnibel’s glare she raised her hands in defense. “Her words, not ours! We were just super-thrilled that she stopped trying to kill us, we didn’t exactly argue. Since… Baddie Three could also kill us. It was a really stressful time in our life.” 

Marceline elbowed her with a mumbled, “Don’t be a dip.”

“How long did you plan to leave her in there?”

Both froze, not entirely sure how to side-step the obvious trap. “Well, we didn’t exactly plan anything-” The Unifier was elbowed a second time before quickly elaborating. “Just… you know, until we found a way to deal with her.”

Mercifully, the princess did not press this line of reasoning, instead switching to the question both vampires had been dreading the most. “What you mean to tell me is that the entire time that we have been here you’ve been keeping one of the strongest of you, one you just admitted is rather homicidal and possess an understandable vendetta, in the house  _ with us _ ? One that if she escaped could easily kill us all?”

The older monarchs exchanged another look, Marceline responding sheepishly. “Well… not exactly.”

“What part is ‘not exactly’? The part where you have been keeping a violent demon in the house with us  _ without warning or telling us in any way  _ or the part where she could escape and kill us all?”

“The second part.” The moment the traitorous phrase left her mouth the Unifier shot her a death glare.

Bonnibel wasn’t prepared for that answer and raised an eyebrow. “Explain yourselves. Quickly.”

“Well,” Marceline began cautiously, “she’s not a danger to you guys. Just us. She doesn’t do the whole ‘blind mayhem’ thing the Usurper does. She’s a lot more focused in her special brand of brutality.”

Jake raised his hand. “Wait, is she the one the Usurper wanted you to bring to her?” 

Both nodded silently and he blinked in sudden realization. “Ohhhh, I get it now. She didn’t mean ‘tool’ like a wrench. She meant it like ‘the one of you that’s being used and doesn’t care’.” Despite the absurd situation surrounding him the dog nodded, clearly pleased with himself. “So… they hate each other?” 

The Unifier snorted in derision. “Oh yeah. They hate each other more than she,” she nodded towards the kitchen, “hates us. Which is saying something.” 

The older hero nodded thoughtfully. “Seems like a simple deal. We let her out and she ganks the Usurper for us! Problem solved!” 

Marceline frowned. “Jake, were you not listening to the part where  _ she wants us dead like yesterday _ ?” 

“Yeah, I just ignored that part because I didn’t like it.”

Before she could respond her weaker counterpart gave an overdramatic sigh, closing her eyes in makeshift defeat. “Oh, we’d love to help but there are chains. Too bad we can’t get them off for you. Lump it.” When she was sharply reminder by her maybe-mate that Finn’s sword was more than capable of breaking the silver chains she groaned, her head falling back on the couch. “Well, that’s it. Everything’s ruined forever. The end.” 

Finn, on the other hand, had grown more optimistic. “Don’t worry, Marcelines, we got this! We can protect you!” He motioned to the demon blood sword, giving them a thumb’s up. 

“Finn, you don’t get it. She’s just as strong as the Usurper. You can’t just-” 

“Wait, hold on!” The Unifier lifted her head, turning to Marceline as if she had just experienced an epiphany. “If Bubblegum tells her not to kill us-”

Marceline’s eyes lit with sudden understanding. “Do you think that’d work?”

“Maybe not, but it’s the best we’ve got. They’re going to let her out anyway.”

The princess watched the conversation, both intrigued and irritated at once again being discussed like she wasn’t even present. _You would think that by now she would learn manners when she’s already on such thin ice._ _Oh good, now they’re whispering softly. Not suspicious at all, Marceline._ Beneath her tight exterior her indignation was only increasing, but before it could breach the surface the two vampires turned back to the group.

“You guys are going to let her out either way, right?” Finn and Jake looked to Bubblegum for guidance, but the candy golem merely stood impassively, refusing to acknowledge what she considered such an idiotic and obvious question. This seemed to be the answer the two had expected regardless. “Alright, fine. We’ll help you. But we can’t let her out on our own.” The Unifier motioned back towards the kitchen. “You know, the chains and all.” Undeterred, Finn rose to accompany his brother to the kitchen. Bonnibel shot them both an icy stare unlike any they had ever experienced before following her champions. The queens fell into step behind her, heads down, resisting the urge to drag their feet and risk prolonging the inevitable.

They stopped before the welded door, two heroes, one mad scientist, and two guilty vampires. Together, the five stood before the door, an immense feeling of dread seeming to radiate from it, as if seeping from a wound. It was a feeling the younger hero had felt somewhere before, but he couldn’t place where exactly, no matter how hard he tried. Strangely, even the Unifier and Marceline seemed affected by the atmosphere. Only one of the room’s occupants seemed unphased; in fact, Bonnibel didn’t seem to register it at all. Finn, sword drawn, spoke first, voice soft. “Hey, before we do this biz. What’s up with her?” He motioned to the door. “You said the Big Three hate each other, and the Usurper was super clear about wanting us to bring her when we go confront her next. So what’s the deal here?” 

Whatever retort the Unifier had never made it out of her head. Instead, she exchanged a glance with her stronger self, a silent question about how much they should reveal receiving a silent answer. “The one you’re about to meet,” she began carefully, eyes flickering to Bonnibel momentarily, “she’s a tyrant. She has a sense of order and she’ll make sure it’s  _ our  _ sense of order. Which is, you know, killing us. She’s nice like that.” 

Finn looked unconvinced at the evasive answer. “Yeah, but…  _ why? _ ” 

“Well…” She shot Marceline a pleading look, and the stronger vampire reluctantly took over... 

“She’s…” ...which she did so poorly. 

Bubblegum turned, glaring at both of them. No words were needed, the vitriol was more than enough to force her to continue her explanation. “The Marceline you’re about to meet? Yeah, about her…” Now she turned towards the candy golem, the first time she had directly addressed the princess since their talk that preceded the younger woman’s Cosmic Owl Dream. “You know how you kept telling me that loyalty was a big mumbo trait of mine? You called it a big part of who I am?” She paused, looking for a reaction.

Instead the younger monarch stared at her, mulling over this half-explanation. Her voice was as sharp as it was icy. “And what, Marceline, is so dangerous about loyalty?” 

“It’s not on its own… loyalty is great and a virtue and junk.  _ Her  _ sense of loyalty isn’t, and as far as she’s concerned  _ her  _ sense of loyalty is what the rules should go by.” 

“So much so that you needed to put her in a cage?”

The vampire looked pained. “Blind law is just as dangerous as blind anarchy, Bubblegum.” 

At this last evasion Bonnibel felt any sympathy she had felt towards the duo’s growing panic disappear. “I would ask for elaboration, but you seem to be enjoying your skirting of our questions. Perhaps it would be best if we asked her for her story instead?”  _ Perhaps then we will learn why you are so adamant I tell her not to kill you.  _ Her attention returned to the door. “Alright, let’s do this.” 

Marceline gulped involuntarily, her voice shaking noticeably; mercifully, no one pointed it out. “Alright. Finn, your sword should be strong enough to break the chains. After they’re off I’ll get the door.” When she drew her axe the Unifier followed her lead, Jake removing the stake from his fur pocket. “When we get in there… let us talk to her first. Then you can break the chains.” 

“The ones out here?” 

“No.” 

He stared at her in trepidation before shrugging. “Well, you’re the ladybros!” With a shout the demon blood sword was brought up and down, slicing through the chains in one fell swoop.  _ Oh wow, this thing is sharper than I thought _ , Finn thought, impressed.  _ That or I’ve gotten even buffer. Probably that one. Definitely.  _ To her credit, Marceline only paused momentarily before shifting her form, her arms becoming massive and covered with dark, coarse black fur, tipped with large, yellow claws. With a loud grunt she wrapping them around either side of the door. With a loud grunt it was ripped from the wall and thrown to the wall, out of the way of the party; with it gone the feeling of dread seemed to intensity into something almost suffocating, Jake taking two steps backwards without realizing it.

When the three outsiders finally gazed inside the cage Finn paled in dismay, Jake’s jaw dropped in consternation, and Bonnibel covered her mouth in disgust.

The room was small, much smaller than she had anticipated of such a reinforced entrance, perhaps half the size of the kitchen. The walls, ceiling, and floor were all a stark and unblemished white, making it difficult to tell where one section of the room began and another ended. In the middle of the room she found the fifth Marceline and the second of the Big Three, chained to the floor. One large, silver spike had been driven through her arms at the wrists, binding them together; flattened at the top to be wider than her arms it not only pinned them to the floor they also forced her into a bow. Through her back a third, larger metal instrument had been driven, though the circumstances surrounding that one were obscured by her body; what was easy to see, courtesy of her red crop top, was that this piece of silver was attached to a chain that affixed at the ceiling, forcing her back to arch. Unlike her arms, her legs were restrained by two heavy, thick silver chains clasped to her thighs legs and mounted to the floor, effectively immobilizing her knees entirely. Thanks her black shorts the deep red welts, cracked and split where flesh met metal were too visible and too disturbing. Perhaps the worst of it, though, was her face; a silver gag had been forced onto her, the mouthpiece round and large enough to encompass almost every bit of skin below her nose; three silver tendrils on either side wrapped around her cheeks and over her ears. Due to her hair - or lack thereof, it was short on both sides were a longer mohawk in the middle, it was easy to see that the ends of each tendril were embedded in her skull.

The one attachment not metal was a soft pink collar that seemed to lack any sort of method to open it. Something seemed etched into the material, but no one was in a state of mind to care.

“Oh… oh… uh…”

Marceline bypassed Finn as he struggled to form a coherent reaction, entering the room nervously. A deep growl emanated from the pinned vampire, but it emerged strangled, something missed by the brothers, but not by the princess, who watched despondent at the scene before her.  _ What did she do to you, Marcy?  _ Unaware of the green eyes boring into her back the previously-strongest demon kneeled before the captive, clearing her throat as she struggled to find a way to explain the situation in such a way that she would be allowed to leave the room alive. “Hey, how’s my favorite tyrant today?” Silence, save for the growl. “So… yeah, you’re probably pretty mad.” The growl deepened. “Yeah, I can see why. Good point, good point. So, you can probably hear them, but the Unifier is here. So are Finn and Jake. Weird, right?” When the response was a choking noise Marceline winced. “Yeah… about that fifth heartbeat…” Once again, there was no way out but through. “...Bubblegum is here. She would like  _ very  _ much for you to not kill us, so we’re gonna let you out, alright?” Pinned hands attempted to shift into something far more threatening, but were forced back by the wretched silver. When Marceline received no further response she nodded to herself and stood, turning to the brothers, who were still in a state of shock. “Alright guys, go do… hero stuff? You know, rescue people and junk. The Unifier and I will be hiding behind Bubblegum, because of reasons.” 

Jake turned his stake over absently. “Alright, how are we doing this, Finn?” 

The human snapped out of it. “Let’s get her hands first.”

Mimicking his friend, Finn cautiously approached the restrained queen, kneeling in front of her while attempting to conceal his growing sense of foreboding.  _ Man, what is up with this room? Well, here goes nothing.  _ “Hey Marce… it’s Finn. Jake’s here too. So is PB, like other-Marce said. We didn’t…” How does one tactfully explain to a friend that while they suffered you were enjoying a movie night? Guilt stabbed at him; logically, he of course had no way of knowing that his friend - or at least a part of his friend - had been so close and in need of such dire help-  _ But I’m her friend. I should have been here. I should hav-  _ When he heard the strangled growl he snapped out of his reverie. “It’s alright, ladybro. We’re going to get you out of this.” As the brothers moved into position, doing their best to approach while staying out of harm’s way, Bonnibel stared at the display before her in utter disbelief, jaw clamped, hands clenched tight enough to draw syrupy blood. Part of her, the part growing more furious by the moment, demanded that she force both Marceline and the Unifier to justify why such restraints could possibly be necessary, especially when the alternative could have easily been death. Yet another part of her mind spoke louder. Perhaps it was the frustration of being denied her mate, or the fierce row they were engaged in. Or, maybe, it was a manifestation of her own guilt, or the displeasure of being utterly out of control of the entire situation she, admittedly, caused herself. Whatever the reason, she already knew, had already decided within a moment of seeing the trapped vampire, what her course of action would be.

After flashing Jake the signal the boy drew his sword properly. Aiming the tip at the metal spike binding his friend’s hands he lifted and drove it straight into the top, shattering it. Immediately Jake stretched himself into a large dustpan, using his arm to gather the bloodied silver bits left over while Finn turned his attention to the chain embedded in her back. Up close he could see that no part of the chain was actually hooked into the floor; the realization was nauseating, but whatever was in her body was literally hooked into her spine itself, pulling her up while the spike through her hands had been pulling her down.  _ Okay, Peebs doesn’t need to know that. I didn’t even need to know that.  _ Turning his attention to her leg restraints he shattered those as well, realizing all-too late that in his haste his sword had cut her as well, the leg twitching as maroon blood began to flow freely, down her leg, under her knee, dripping unto the floor beneath her. Once the chain arching her spine was severed he pulled back, bringing Jake with him.

The moment she was freed the Marceline called a tyrant thrashed violently. Bones broken and cracked from the constant strain began to mend and she was paying them no mind; her entire focus was whatever was skewered in her back. With a cry of pain mixed with rage she removed the silver that had been literally hooked into her spine, her dead blood having tarnished the metal to black. With a roar her hands shifted into claws, though unlike Marceline’s or the Usurper’s these were dark, not quite black, as they seemed to absorb all light that travelled through them. The talons tipping each claw were of equal form, making it impossible to tell how long and sharp they actually were. To be safe, Jake assumed ‘very’ and puffed his chest, bringing the stake up. Not that this Marceline noticed; instead, she reached behind her head, over the spikes engraved in her skull. Ignoring the *hiss* of the silver nails searing her flesh she pulled the cursed metal from her head, revealing the tacks to be a good three millimeters long, drenched in maroon blood that even now connected them to their all-too-recent location. It took another loud roar to rip them free, the blood now trickling from each of the six puncture wounds. The moment they were cleared she yanked them forward, relieving the pressure over her sensitive ears, and pulled the gag free. It was only then that with a mixture of pity and revulsion the not-vampires in the group discovered that the gag was yet more silver in the form of a long cylinder that had been digging into her throat; from its angle, Bubblegum supposed it had been digging into her larynx, explaining the strangled growl.  _ You even tried to rob her of her voice?  _ Never before had the princess experienced this level of wrath, and it was becoming difficult to focus on her desired plan of action.

Now free, the bloodied, burned, and gashed vampire threw the headpiece away, exhaling forcefully as she spat ancient blood that had pooled in her mouth and throat far too long ago. Her eyes slitted against the abrupt change in her captivity status, another snarl - this one raspy rather than strangled - escaping her in her fury. Yet she paid her numerous wounds no mind, nor did she register her mortal visitors scooping the wretched silver away from her where it could do her no further harm. She panted in her exhaustion, willing her body to heal rapidly so that she could exact her vengeance against her weaker selves before they could escape. Every muscle twitched as she systematically tested their readiness to strike, only to find them not yet recovered enough to move at a speed anywhere near adequate enough, not yet healed enough to strike with sufficient force. She didn’t even look for her axe, chained to the wall in its own silver. Her center of attention remained entirely on the two doomed half-demons, her prey hiding safely behind their princess.

Rather, they  _ were  _ hiding safely behind their princess, before the aforementioned monarch moved from her position, all but abandoning the two. She crossed the room slowly, carefully, ignoring her champions’ gawking, her queens’ dual looks of alarm. It was only when the younger woman cautiously kneeled before her that the previously-captive vampire ripped her attention away from her soon-to-be victims, now focusing on Bubblegum instead. As four individuals held their breath, two resisting the urge to jump into the fray before there even was a fray and two resisting the urge to clear the area for their own safety, the tyrant finally registered her visitor. With a look of sheer bafflement her eyes dilated, and all at once the suffocating air of unsettlement dissipated, much to the relief of the boy and the dog. There was an anxious stretch of silence, then,

“...Bonnibel?”

It was a question that came out raspy and asked in skepticism, lacking any warning, any bite, any danger at all. Needing to confirm her suspicions, and much to the incredulity of everyone else in the room, the young scientist pulled her into an embrace, allowing her head to rest against her chest. “Easy, Marcy… it’s alright. You’re free now,” she soothed. Now close enough to check, she eyed the pink collar, smiling softly when she saw that the engraving confirmed her suspicions.  _ Exactly as I suspected. You’re not just loyalty, are you?  _ When the injured woman closed her eyes in fatigue, focusing her attention now on the numerous injuries that riddled her body, the princess shot both remaining queens a look so cold, so charged that one stepped back while the other flinched. “Explain yourselves. Now.” They had heard that demand many times already, but this time the tone was full of such conviction that the Unifier had no choice but to respond in kind, even as Marceline placed a grey hand on her shoulder in a failed attempt to stop her. 

“We did what we had to!” 

“What you  _ had to _ ? Are you lumpin’ serious?! Are you both telling me that all of this was necessary?!”

The Unifier’s growl alerted the one called ‘Tyrant’ to the heated situation, who opened an eye but otherwise stayed both in her position and silent. “Yes! Yes I am! Look at her flippin’ wounds, this was the only way to stop her from ripping our heads off!” She continued without giving the princess a chance to follow through. “She heals!”

“You all heal! It’s kind of a thing you do!” 

“Not like her! Flippin’ look, brainlord!”

She did, and blinked in confusion at what she saw; despite the chains of silver, the spikes and hooks of one of a vampire’s few weaknesses, the Tyrant had begun to heal at an accelerated rate, even for the vampire queen. Already the puncture wounds had closed, and the flow of blood had clotted. The burns remained, but had become muted, more faded than even minutes ago.  _ Ah. That explains why she’s so exhausted.  _ Yet her recovery wasn’t enough to stop Bubblegum’s animosity. Once she understood the magnitude of her half-demon’s ability she turned back to the Unifier, who continued before the princess could start. “See?! She heals through, like, everything! We had to restrain her!”

At the same time Marceline shot her a look, a silent warning to stop talking, Bonnibel felt herself begin to shake with outrage, heard her voice come out too softly, too cold. “...We?  _ We?!  _ You told me that it was the third Big Bad that did this. Are you lumpin’ kidding me?!” Unseen by the enraged confection, the Tyrant was shooting both of her counterparts a smug look, clearly pleased that they had trapped themselves. “What else have you been hiding from-”  _ me  _ “-us?!” That was a loaded question, and everyone knew it. When there was no response she decided to try a different tactic. “Explain quickly. What exactly makes this one so dangerous? What could possibly be so deadly about  _ loyalty  _ of all things?!” 

Before the Unifier could react Marceline covered her mouth to prevent any further damage. “Because she’s not loyal to us. She’s loyal to  _ you _ . And she’ll eliminate anyone or anything that she thinks is a threat. Including-” 

Bubblegum frowned, eyes narrowed. “Including yourself.”  _ Loyalty, submission, and self-deprecation rolled into one frenetic vampire. And this is one of the most dominant aspects of her personality.  _ She wasn’t sure if she should be flattered or concerned, and thus chose both options.  _ Once she’s whole again I’ll need to teach her that those traits aren’t synonymous… even if, admittedly, I did encourage otherwise. _

“So yeah. We had to restrain her or she would have flippin’ ganked all of us. As far as she cares-”

But Bonnibel no longer cared to hear a further explanation. Instead, her gaze dropped to the Tyrant, her voice losing its edge, instead adopting a firm tone. “Don’t kill them.” They stared at one another before black claws returned to grey hands. When their owner spoke it was raspy, her throat clearly not fully healed. 

“...Fine.” 

Her reward was a soft smile. “Good girl.” A deriding snort was the response, but she did nothing to contradict the praise. With a grunt she rolled off of the younger woman, standing carefully, testing every damage muscle to check what repair needed to be prioritized and what could wait. Satisfied with her recovery’s progression she smirked at her two other selves, her voice less raspy now. 

“You must be desperate if you’re letting me out. That or Bonnibel is beginning to find out all the secrets we’ve kept over the years.” She tilted her head to check throughout the door, noting Finn and Jake sneak away. “I don’t see the other dip with you, so I’m guessing she got killed by  _ her _ ?” When she received no response the smirk became self-satisfied. “Ah, both. See, this is why you losers have to die.” 

“Because this is why we can’t have nice things?” 

A shrug. “Or because this is why we’ll never be worthy of Bonnibel. Really, take your pick, I’ll be killing you anyway.” Before she could be admonished for the threat she made for the wall where her bass was being held prisoner. “Speaking of which-”

“Stop.”

It was said with such determination that the Tyrant felt herself freeze before she registered she had been told to. Unamused, she turned towards the princess. “Oh come on! I’m not going to kill them. Now. I mean, who knows what the future holds, am I right?” 

“Stay. Put.” 

The vampire’s response came through gritted teeth, her voice recovering the more she spoke. “I think I deserve  _ some  _ retribution. First they bring in the wad because they can’t deal with the fact I’m stronger than them, then they just silver up the place, then they lock me in a soundproof roo-” 

Evidently, those were the magic words because Bubblegum’s death glare returned in such force that the Unifier involuntarily took a step backwards, Marceline grimacing. “I’m sorry, did she just say you put her in a soundproof room?” It was a rhetorical question, and both had the good sense not to answer as if it weren’t. “So, you tortured her. Yourself. What have I told you about self-mutilation?”

Despite the edge to her voice, and the dangerous step in the princess’s pace, the Unifier decided that the best course of action was mimicry, responding with her own cutting tone, floating closer to the princess in an attempt to prove to herself that she wasn’t intimidated. It didn’t work, but no one else needed to know that. “I’m not sure, Bubblegum, you didn’t seem to have much of a problem with us trying to gank the Usurper. Of course, now that the part of us being damaged is, coincidentally, your pet-”

For the second time, the resulting slap rang through the house and out of the cabin. Just as before, the Unifier was stunned speechless, eyes wide and focused on the floor. Before she could gather her wits she found herself at the receiving end of shear venom. “You are making this  _ very  _ difficult for me, Unifier. First, I had to watch you almost decapitate yourself. Then, when I get here you try to remove me from your home because you can’t flippin’ be responsible, even for one day. When we finally convince you to do something worthwhile-”

The Unifier rubbed her cheek, meeting the princess’s ire with her own. “Hey, you can’t put all the blame on me here! I was happy with my life-”

“I’m not finished! This entire time I’m worried about you, trying my lumpin’ hardest to put you back together again, and all this time you had a part of yourself-”

“She’s dangerous, Bubblegum! Maybe not to you, but she is to us! The world doesn’t revolve around-”

Before the sentence could be finished the Unifier found herself pinned to the wall by a very irritated Tyrant, who held her off the ground by her neck. “I’m going to need you to calm down. Kay? Because you’re being ridiculous.” The hand released and she was dropped without ceremony. “Now, why the dip are you being so weird? You were a lot more chill the last time I saw you, and that was while I was trying to rip your head off. What’s your deal?” Hoping to prevent further escalation - and knowing that if it came to it no one really had any idea as to whether or not the Tyrant actually would listen to anything the princess ordered, Marceline hijacked the conversation. 

“Well, you’re going to find out anyway. Remember the silver dagger?” 

“The one Bonnibel made-” 

“Before she knew if she could trust us? Yeah. She kept it. It’s in the living room.”

“Wait, she didn’t destroy it?”

“Nope. She lied to us, and she’s been lying ever since.”

Her head tilted, and the scientist held her breath.  _ We finally have an ally of immense power that can be reasonably controlled, we cannot afford to- _

“She was right to do it.”

Three sets of eyes stared at her, though she hardly noticed two of them. Only Marceline mattered at the moment to her, as she was the one providing the helpful update to the chaos apparently surrounding their life.

“What the flip?! Didn’t you hear me? She. Kept. The. Dagger.”

“Sounds like a good idea to me.”

Marceline balked. “...How does that possibly sound like a good idea? She promised-”

The Tyrant seemed oblivious to the baffled stares she was receiving. “I know it’s hard, but use your flippin’ brain. She made it because we’re not exactly trustworthy. She’s way smarter than us but we’re way stronger than her. A dagger made of pure silver seems like a healthy compromise. I mean, you know how awesome I am at healing and a silver dagger through the heart would even gank me.” Her head tilted again, her eyes shifting between both of her other selves. “Why? Did she use it on us or something?”

“She stabbed the lunatic. She’s calling herself the Usurper now.”

The Tyrant snorted, poorly stifling her laughter. “Wait, that’s what you’re both freaking out about? She makes a dagger in case we try turn on her. One of us turns on her. So she uses the dagger. Seems legit to me.” She turned towards Bubblegum “Did you kill her?” The scowl was all the answer she needed. “Figs.” The conversation returned to the three vampires as the princess watched, utterly fascinated.  _ She’s not even a little mad. That’s a refreshing change from the diatribe I’ve been subjected to lately.  _ “So let’s try this again. What’s the problem?”

The Unifier growled, “She told us she was going to get rid of it. She lied.”

“So? She did it to protect herself. We could have turned on her at any time as far as she knows.” Bubblegum’s fascination grew.  _ No comment alluding to my propensity to fudge the truth?  _ She did nothing to resist the smile growing, or the sense of relief at having a weight removed from her shoulders.  _ They’re right that I should never have lied to them. I cannot argue that such behavior was wrong. But if even a part of her is willing to forgive me it may be in my best interest to begin damage control there. _

“We never would have turned on her! Don’t be a donkus!”

The Tyrant crossed her arms, smirking. “Yeah? I can think of a certain psychopath running around that I’m going to guess has absolutely no problem trying to end her. Which means, sorry guy, at least part of us had no problem with the idea. Still not seeing an issue here. Bonnibel didn’t use it to make us do stuff we didn’t want to. She used it to protect herself from the megalomaniac.”

The Unifier’s growl turned into a snarl. “Are you serious?! How can we ever trust her again? If she’s willing to go that far do you really think she’s even capable of loving us-”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Caught off-guard, both of the Tyrant’s weaker components stood before her floored. Behind her, the younger monarch eyed her warily, eyebrows raising in surprise when she continued. “There’s this phrase, it’s called ‘unconditional love’. Didn’t we promise that to her at some point? Pretty sure we did since, you know, I was there. You know, part of that kind of jazz is the ‘unconditional’ part. We know who and what she is, and she knows who and what we are. She was just being realistic. She could have abandoned us when she saw what we really are, you dinguses think of that? We’re a monster, both together and separately. We’ve done and seen some things that’d make normals go ‘like what?’.”

“She said she accepted tha-”

“She does accept it, you weenie! Who said that accepting it means she has to leave herself vulnerable?”

“How can you possibly accept how manipul-”

“Are you really surprised by how manipulative she is? It’s just part of who she is, you know?” Bonnibel expected to flinch at the remark, the same remark she had heard dozens of times by now, but there was no accusation behind it; the declaration was spoken matter-of-factly, mentioned as though it were both an infallible and inconsequential truth.  _ Yes, this is a refreshing change of pace.  _ Venom began to seep into the Tyrant’s voice. “I was there the first time we told her that we loved her.  _ Her _ , you idiots, not parts of her. Has she manipulated us in the past? Definitely. Is she doing it right now? Probably. Will she do it in the future? I’d bet so. But that’s not who she is, it’s just a thing she does!” Her fist hit the wall with enough force to crack it. “She helped us learn to control our powers. She spent literally days making those ear things to help drown out silence. The amp she designed for us? Her turning down literally hundreds of suitors,” she spat the word, “even though we couldn’t get our act together?  _ Hambo _ ?” It took effort to control her bark, and even more to resist the urge to kill. “So you two losers can sit here and whine about something stupid all you want. You wanna be weenies? Fine. But be weenies in private where no one has to look at it. I’m done with it. And if I see you start something again you’re both going through the wall.”

Just as she was set to leave the room she paused, turning towards her princess. All at once the venom and scowl faded into affection and irreverence. “I wouldn’t stay in here too long, Bonnibel. You might catch a bad case of ‘being a donkus’.” Without waiting for a response she stuck her tongue out at the younger woman, then left the room with a shout of, “Finn! Let’s go hero boy, I want my bass back!” A pause and her head poked back in the room. “And where the stuff is my jacket?!” With a groan of frustration Marceline pointed in the general direction of the bedroom and she was gone without a word. Now alone both vampires exchanged a look with one another, then with the younger woman, but all words were absent. 

All three were saved from the awkward silence by the timely arrival of Finn, who entered almost nervously, demon blood sword in hand. Behind him, Jake poked his head in, leaving his body in the relative safety of the living room. “Is it over?” The reply came from the Unifier, and took the form of a muttered, “is it ever?” When she straightened and left the room Marceline followed. As they exited Bubblegum heard her murmur, “guess that’s two votes versus two votes” and allowed herself a soft smile.  _ Don’t worry, Marceline. You’ll see. We’ll get through this. I’ll stitch you back together again and we’ll go home. _

This time when the Tyrant emerged she sported a new wardrobe, having exchanged her shorts for torn black pants. She had also found a very familiar looking coat. “Your letterman jacket?”

In an effort to better observe Finn she stood next to Bonnibel, who noted with approval that she was truly standing, not floating like her other selves. “Yup. I had it when the wad and three dinks decided to cage me. Missed it, you know?” 

Bubblegum took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before dropping it. “Yes. I know what it’s like to miss something important that was taken from you so abruptly.” 

The vampire smirked but didn’t reply, instead directing her attention to the boy hero, who seemed to be mentally deliberating the best way to cut the chains without damaging the weapon. “Dude, just hit the chains. You can’t hurt my bass.” He turned to her, shoulders lowering with relief. 

“I can’t?” 

“Nope. They’re basically indestructible here.” 

“Even to a demon blood sword?”

That gave her pause, though unlike Marceline and the Unifier she didn’t back away from that discovery. “That’s a demon blood sword?”

“Yeah, Marce made it for me.”

“...That’s pretty sick. Oh well, still need my bass, so hurry it up.”

Were her tone anything but amused he may have taken the wording to heart, but as it stood she was clearly more impatient than angry and he decided to just do things her way, bringing the width of the blade down on the chains. Just as she had predicted, while the chains were no match either he had missed the axe entirely or it really was indestructible.  _ That’ll be good to know for when we kick the Usurper’s butt.  _ Suddenly cheerful, he sheathed the sword behind him before carefully picking the weapon-instrument up by its staff, handing it gingerly to its owner. “Your axe-bass, m’lady.” With a happy exclamation she took her most treasured possession, happily dashing out of what had been until only recently her prison. Once she was out of earshot Finn turned towards Bonnibel. 

“How did you know she wasn’t going to do stuff?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“When you went over to her after Jake and I got her out of her chains. You were either mad brave or-”

“Oh, that. Her collar.”

“Oh.” He paused before continuing. “I mean, it was pink, but that’s still a pretty big gamble.”

She laughed softly. “No, silly. The outside was engraved.”

“Oh. Huh.” He paused once more before continuing. “What did it say?”

Her grin was almost affectionate. Almost. “‘Property of Bonnibel Bubblegum, Reward if Found.’” He flushed deeply as she strolled out of the room, after her vampires. 

“...Huh.” 

When he followed her Jake began to pull his head back to his body and, for just a moment, he glanced towards the ceiling. That moment was long enough to observe the black camera peeking from the northwest corner observing him back, identical to the one found in the Candy Kingdom’s tunnel.  _ Nope. Not gonna think about how creepy that is. Nope nope nope.  _ With an agitated shudder he pulled his head back to his body, which was waiting faithfully in the living room. He found Marceline and the Unifier engaged in an active if not quiet discussion, the Tyrant having appropriated the chair. When the heroic duo entered she waved at them lazily. When Bonnibel entered she wordlessly removed herself from the chair to allow her to sit instead, as if this were a normal occurrence, as if the Tyrant finding her own seat on the floor and resting her head in her lap were typical. When a pink hand began to pet her she yawned, exposing perfectly white, needle sharp teeth and two long, protruding fangs. After gazing thoughtfully at the two mortals in the room, silently inviting them to sit on her couch, she turned her eyes toward her counterparts. This time when she addressed them she was far calmer, and they seemed more at ease, though only slightly. “Alright dorks, catch me up. You must be pretty desperate to let me out.” The smug look had returned. “Especially if you’re banking on Bonnibel to not let me kill you. Because, and I cannot emphasize this point enough, the moment she says I can-”

“Yeah, we get it, thanks,” Marceline muttered. “Anyway, yeah, a lot’s happened. After the four of us trapped you we kind of did our own things for awhile. One day there was this huge howling metal noise, and these three showed up. We came to find out that we’re like this because Bubblegum somehow convinced us to try to contract daddy’s chaos amulet. Obviously that didn’t work, which is how we split, so they came to find us and bring us back.  _ Someone _ ,” she turned to glare at the Unifier before returning to her story, “decided that it would be a really good idea to not become whole, but you know the dorks, they’re pretty persuasive.” She paused then, trying to think of the best way to frame what came next. “These guys decided that they should confront the Usurper. That’s what she’s calling herself now-” 

“I like my name better.” When the Tyrant’s eyes closed in enjoyment of being pet Marceline shook her head in disbelief, then continued, making it a point to ignore Bubblegum’s eye roll. 

“...Cool, anyway, Unifier, you wanna take over since you were actually there and all?”

She was and did. “She was squatting in the Candy Kingdom. We met up with the only part of us with a shred of good in her. The idea was that the four of us - Bubblegum stayed in the back, don’t look at me like that - would be strong enough to beat her. That obviously didn’t happen.” 

“What did?” 

“She ripped our other-self’s head off, but at least I got flight out of it, so I have that going for me. Then she…” 

At this point in the story she hesitated, and a garnet eye opened. “She…?” 

“...Destroyed the Candy Kingdom.” Two vampires and mortals held their breath in preparation for the rage bout undoubtedly about to occur, tense in some cases, shifting nervously in others. Only Bonnibel seemed calm, instead taking a different tactic: scritching her ear.  _ Stay calm, Marcy. Stay with me.  _

The anti-climactic response was for the Tyrant to frown disapprovingly. “...Hm.” 

When she failed to react further Finn and Jake exchanged a look. “Uh… Tyrant-bro? You’re not gonna lose it?”

“Why would I?”

Jake hesitated before responding. “Uh… ‘cause she destroyed the  _ Candy Kingdom.  _ Isn’t loyalty to it your entire thing?”

She chuckled softly. “Nah dude. No loyalty to the Candy Kingdom here.”

Finn spoke for the group, almost all of whom were dumbfounded: “...Wait, what?”

“Didn’t you hear me earlier? My loyalty is to  _ Bonnibel.  _ Not the Candy Kingdom.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

“Nah. Remember when the King of Ooo throne-jacked her? If I was loyal to the Candy Kingdom I would have been loyal to him.” The very idea sent a disgusted shudder through her. “Candy Kingdom’s just a place.” She rolled over slightly, just enough to smirk at the princess, having accurately predicted her look of displeasure. “Don’t give me that look, dork. Remember a few hundred years ago, in your lab? When I tried to teach you how to hunt?” 

At first the candy golem paused, trying to puzzle where her vampire was leading her. When she figured it out she allowed herself an amused smile. “...I said to protect me. I didn’t say to protect my kingdom.” 

Her grin was full of mirth and sharp teeth. “I take my job very seriously. Usually you’re both the same thing, but I’ve got a priority system here.”

From behind her, Jake accidentally decided to ruin everything. “Yeah. It was jacked up that she decided to wreck the place with us inside, though.”

The room was silent. Then,

“WHAT?! Oh, she’s dead. I’m going to tear her in half. With my claws. She doesn’t even deserve my axe.” With a growl the Tyrant rolled over to push herself out of her lounging position. Or at least, she attempted to; instead, a pink hand pulled her back down by her jacket. 

“No.” 

“Oh come on! She tried to kill you!”

“While accurate, still no.”

Her hand twitched. “Bonnibel-”

“Stay. Put.”

Nothing if not obedient, the Tyrant rolled her head away from her princess’s impassive gaze while mumbling her disgruntlement. “...Yes, Bonnibel.”

“Good girl.” The petting resumed, as did the soft purring.

Oblivious to the look of shock being exchanged by Marceline and the Unifier Finn and Jake just looked relieved at a crisis having been averted so easily. “So, Tyrant-bro, does that mean you won’t be killing your guybros?"

She lazily turned towards them, eyebrow raised. “Why would I try to kill you?” 

Feeling a tightness in his chest release, a tension he wasn’t even aware of until that moment, Finn smiled, emboldened. “Because you’re really strong and murder-y and I’m pretty sure you could waste us all without even moving from Peeble’s lap?” 

She nodded. “All true. I do enjoy killing things, and you’re pretty easily gankable. But we’re friends, and you’ve done useful stuff in the past. Like the times you guys saved Bonnibel from the Ice King.” 

Whatever the boy was about to say was interrupted by Marceline who, until this moment, had been nothing but laid back and playful. Now, however, her demeanor changed both abruptly and drastically. Her right hand gripped the edge of the table with enough for the crack it, her left hand a claw whose talons dug into the wood. Teeth clenched, eyes slitted, she glared at the Tyrant. In another bizarre departure from the norm it was now the Unifier’s turn to try diffuse the situation. Her attempts failed, and the Tyrant adopted a smug look, as if she knew exactly what she had done.

“His. Name. Is. SIMON.”

The silence was deafening. Before Bonnibel could react the Tyrant stood, meeting her weaker self’s slitted stare with her own, her response both calm and mocking.

“Not anymore.”

With a roar Marceline cleared the table. Wherever she was aiming, however, she never made it; with one fell swoop the Tyrant had her by the neck and had forced her down on the table, her spine pressed into the corner with enough strength to force the wooden legs to split. She held her counterpart down with one dark claw wrapped around her neck, the other poised in the air, daring her to try to escape. Whereas before her expression had been calm and almost playful the Tyrant’s look was now blank, her voice too controlled, too calculating, her eyes too full of malice. “Do you know what Bonnibel is fond of saying, dink? Give us enough time and we’ll always trap ourself. Here you are, alive only by her good graces, and yet for some flippin’ reason you still tried something.” The claw wrapped around her neck tightened as eyes filled with hostility seemed to light up with epiphany. “You’re only alive because she wants you to be. But you know? My job is to protect her, and the sad thing about that is that she doesn’t have a perfect track record of knowing what’s best for her. Sometimes she puts herself in danger or hurts herself without meaning to. So I gotta protect her from her own bad choices sometimes too. Bonnibel specifically told me not to kill you. I don’t think she told me not to break you in half.” The claw tightened its grip, two thin trickles of maroon blood flowing from Marceline’s neck where talons met grey skin. “I’d apologize for this, but really? It’s gonna be sweet.”

Behind her, the princess was slowly rising, eyeing the renegade half-demon as if strategizing. Her hand was slowly lifting, as if she was trying to move sight unseen. Catching her careful movements Finn stood, hands out in a sign he had no intention of using his sword, his voice almost composed enough to hide his anxious pleading. “Come on, Tyrant. Let her go. You’re not like the Usurper. You’re not a monster.” 

Her gaze slowly turned towards him, her arched claw lowering as her eyes pinned. “Finn, bud, you have it all wrong. We’re all monsters here. Even me.” She stopped for a moment, looking almost thoughtful before allowing herself an unsettling grin. “Especially me. Wanna see?”

With no warning the immense feeling of dread returned. This time the atmosphere seemed enhanced, almost strangling the life from the poor victims inhabiting the living room. Finn found himself paralyzed, rooted in his position as his mind tried desperately to find a way out of the sense of despair building, to fight against the onslaught of images that threatened to crack his psyche. In front of him his friend’s form changed, warped into something new. Marceline’s shapeshifting was a power she immensely enjoyed, something she engaged in at every given opportunity. Yet this form was new, and highly disturbing. While his friend had always been tall she became lanky, nearly twice her normal height. The grin had stretched, exposing a long row of white, needle-sharp teeth. Her flesh - if it even was flesh anymore - was dark, less “black” and more “a void entirely without any light produced on a visible spectrum”. He recognized the claws; they were the same color and shape as those she had used to rip the nails from her skull, the same sharp talons. Dark tendrils that seemed to be little more than shadows sprouted, dark wings of indeterminate shape following suit. Red eyes, pin prick in size, seemed to bore into his mind. Vaguely, behind him, he thought he could hear one of the other vampires, but what she was saying was indecipherable.

“MARCELINE. NO.”

The abrupt cessation of foreboding  was bliss, and Finn found himself once again in the Unifier’s embrace; at some point in those moments she had deliberately turned him away from the living horror the Tyrant had become, though he was certain her image would forever be burned into his mind, bringing the taste of bile to his mouth. Now free from his trance his first thought was of Jake, who he found curled on the floor. Above him, Marceline had taken her wolf form and stood over him, teeth bared at the Tyrant in a silent warning. The warning turned out to be unnecessary because the Big Baddie had resumed her normal form. More accurately, she had been forced into her normal form after having been yanked to the floor by her pink collar, held by a very irritated princess. Her voice was quiet, tight, and intimidating. “Marceline. No.” 

The demon narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Bonnibel-” 

The collar was pulled tighter, and she winced. “No. Upstairs, let them chillax. You and I are going to have a conversation.” When the objections stopped she released her vampire, who rose and turned to the ladder without a word. Once the trapdoor closed the Unifier released Finn, Marceline returning to her normal humanoid form.

“Uh… PB, what was that?”

Once she was certain that the misbehaving half-demon was staying upstairs she returned her attention to her friends, two of whom were confused, two of whom were visibly unnerved. She sighed. “Sorry guys. I should have anticipated her doing that when she attacked.” Before Finn could press her further she turned to face the two all-but-deposed queens. 

“I assume she’s the only one who can do that?” 

The Unifier stood, leaving the princess to Marceline as she set forth to repairing the table. “Yup. The collar stops her from shapeshifting into anything else, but she’s the only one of us that can do that. Which-”

But the princess was no longer listening. Instead, she had snatched her bag and was making her way to the bedroom, looking equal parts exasperated and determined. “I’m going to deal with this sitch. Get some rest guys, we’re going after the Usurper in the morning.” And with that she was gone, the door closing carefully, followed by silence. 

Denied a second time, Finn decided to try to get answers from Marceline. “So-” 

A grey hand was held up. “Alright, real talk guys.” After a quick glance to the Unifier indicated her affirmation she groaned in resignation, taking a moment to will herself to engage in the coming conversation. “What you just saw… well, it’s a form of ours you were never meant to see.”

“Yeah but… what  _ is  _ it?”

“I don’t think I ever gave it a real name, but…” 

When she trailed off the Unifier, now finished repairing the damage to her furniture, took over. “We don’t do it every night, but when we’re bored or Bubblegum has a particularly paranoid day we do nightly patrols of the kingdom. You know, actual ones, not just ones to swipe stuff or make innocent townsfolk explode. Though if either of those things happen it’s just a bonus.” Jake’s face scrunched in displeasure, but he made no comment. 

Instead, Finn did. “...Why?”

The Unifier’s smile was sad. “You’d be surprised how many people want to kill her. You’d be really, really surprised.”

His eyes widened. “Wait, people try to gank Peebs?!”

“People, demons, creatures we’ve never been able to identify-”

A sudden bolt of understanding. “Oh! Is that what happened when that demon in the Nightosphere tried to cut us up?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Jan? No, he’s just an idiot. But like that, sure, yeah. They try to get into the castle sneaky-like, then wham, I get ‘em. We’ve been doing it for centuries.”

“Why?”

“That’s… actually a really long and boring and complex story that isn’t interesting in anyway.”

“So that’s-”

“That’s the form we use. Or did, when we were whole.”

_ Oh, that explains why Peebo wasn’t affected. The Tyrant’s whole deal is protecting her, so I guess that counts, too.  _ The thought wasn’t vocalized, instead being interrupted by Jake. “Let’s never do that again. Or if you do, just not when I’m around. Okay?” He made a poor attempt to throw his voice. “Yeah Jake! Great idea! You’re so awesome and handsome!”

Marceline rolled her eyes. “Talk to the Tyrant. Like I said man, none of the rest of us can do it. Part of what makes her so dangerous is that she won’t just mess you up physically she’ll mess with your mindmeats, too.” 

Finn trailed his gaze back to the trapdoor. “So Preebo is the only one who’s seen it besides us? That’s pretty… something.” 

“Well, her and Phoe-” The Unifier elbowed her in the ribs none-too-gently, and her tune changed just as quickly. “...Yup. Just her. Definitely. And that isn’t suspicious at all.” 

The boy eyed her suspiciously.  _ Wait, was she about to say that Phoebe-  _ Jake shrugged. “Eh, seems legit to me. I like the part where we’re still alive.” With a sage nod he threw himself on the couch. “Movie night?” 

Three sets of eyes stared at him, shocked. “Dude, our other-self almost ended you, like… half an hour ago.” 

To their bafflement, he grinned. “Yup. And now the princess is up there, and she looked really mad. I’m pretty sure that’s the last time we’ll have this problem and that it’ll never arise ever again. ‘Sides, a wholesome evening watching movies is the best way to gear up for a big showdown!” 

“But… didn’t you just watch all of these movies?” 

“Never stopped us before!”

After a brief moment of consideration Marceline shrugged. “Can’t argue with that logic. I’ll go see what snacks are left.” With a weak yet relieved smile Finn flashed her a thumbs up, busying himself by gathering the spilled contents of his bag. When the Unifier turned to assist him Jake silently fur-pocketed the silver fragments he had liberated from the cage-room.  _ Juuuust in case that dealio happens again. Tired of being almost ganked by vampires.  _ Now comforted by the weight of both the silver shards and the stake he went to join Marceline in the kitchen. 

“Wait up! You don’t know what I like! Which is everything! And now you know! Don’t mess it up!”

While the downstairs was shaping up to be a pleasant-albeit-awkward evening the upstairs of the cave house was a much different story. The Tyrant sat on the bed, hands folded, eyes averted from everything pink and perfect, axe blade-down and leaning against the side of the bed. Everything pink and perfect stood before her, arms crossed, wearing a look of sheer displeasure. They were both silent, both not knowing what to say but for strikingly different reasons. After marching her wayward vampire upstairs Bubblegum’s initial intention was painfully long lecture on the importance of Not Doing What She Just Did, but by the time she ascended the ladder she had rethought her strategy.  _ Regardless of her actions she’s still the best weapon we have against the Usurper, and…  _ Unseen by the guilty queen, the candy scientist’s eyes softened.  _...And the only one willing to overlook my mistake.  _ Only in the privacy of her own thoughts would the princess ever admit it, but she had missed her mate more than she had indicated to her gallant champions, and the prospect of having her back was too tempting to pass up, especially when this version existed in part as a manifestation of her desire to serve.

Like the rockstars below her, this Marceline required that she adapt her rules of engagement, tweak her strategy to be more custom fitted to her specific nuances. A living - so to speak - embodiment of her girlfriend’s submission, loyalty, and self-deprecation would require a more cautious hand, a conversation less sharp and more firm in nature. Because no matter how she tried to deny it the Tyrant could not have appeared at a more convenient time for the younger woman, and that darker part of her that she had, until only hours ago, been successfully taming reared its head once again. Two different logics warred within her; on the one hand, her actions in manipulating and disregarding her half-demon for hundreds of years were undoubtedly wrong in principle. Yet on the other hand could it truly be said to be wrong if the Marceline in question - this Marceline - was a willing party? And if she was a willing party, would it be wrong, then, for the princess to use this fact to her advantage? Did the reason for using her subservient nature matter, or was it enough that she was doing it at all?  _ So many unanswered questions, so little time to experiment. Prioritize, Bubblegum. Deduce her capacity, inclinations, and structural limits. Go from there, because this may be your only chance. _

“Marceline, look at me.”

Never one to refuse a direct command, the Tyrant looked up, jaw clenched.

“Explain yourself.”

She took a sharp intake of breath, her tone immediately defensive. “She attacked me first. I didn’t even try to kill her!”

“You antagonized her. Purposefully. You seemed happy to do so.”

“Maybe I was,” she muttered.

“Don’t mumble.”

“Sorry.” To the princess’s surprise and relief, she did actually sound apologetic.  _ Interesting. So this is what happens when you remove rebellion and anger from her more submissive tendencies.  _

“Let’s try this again. Explain yourself.”

Garnet eyes narrowed. “You told me to protect you.”

“You almost crushed her throat, and that was after  _ you  _ started an argument with her. How is that protecting me?”

Grey hands attempted to shift into a claw and were pushed back into their more acceptable form. “Bonnibel, she’s going to turn on you. The biz with your dagger is proof of that.” She continued in a rush, knowing that she would otherwise be interrupted. “We’re dangerous by nature. We’re basically a walking super-weapon. I was attempting to prevent a problem before it became a crisis.”

The candy golem frowned. “I didn’t tell you to attack them. I’m still attempting to resolve your current state of being peacefully. I want you to be whole, Marceline, and I can’t exactly do that if you kill them.”

A deep sigh, her eyes closing in frustration. “You’re wrong. You don’t want us whole, you just think you do.” The moment that traitorous phrase was out of her mouth the vampire winced, regretting it. It wasn’t a defense, it was a buying question, an opening for her lover to start systematically dismantling her argument. 

The princess didn’t bother hiding the smugness in her smirk. “Oh? Enlighten me.”  _ This should be interesting. _

When her eyes opened again they were filled with repressed defiance, as if this Marceline was actively resisting the urge to go against her wishes, the exact opposite of what Bubblegum was used to. “You don’t have the greatest track record in keeping yourself healthy and safe. Without me there they’ll turn on you, you just don’t see that because you just got here. But I was free for maybe a hundred years before you arrived. I know what they’re capable of. I’m not going to let that happen. Not when I’ve found you again.” Grey hands clutched the bed’s blanket as tears stung demonic eyes. “You just can’t see the danger, so I have to see it for you.”

The smirk dropped.  _ She really is just trying to protect me, even if it is an interpretation I disagree with. More importantly, I now know her senses of self-deprecation, submission, and loyalty are in equal parts. Well, as much an equal part as a third of something can be. Which is never enough, of course. Still, close enough in this situation.  _ This fact was filed away with the rest of her mental weaponry. When whole it was easy to justify irritation towards the older woman when she engaged in this type of distasteful behavior, for it could easily stem from a place with less-than-noble intentions, and often was. This was too different, too uncomfortable, and the young scientist’s heart ached for her mate, whose mental and emotional conflict was all-too clear to her.

With a sad smile she sat next to her, her voice losing its edge of disappointment. “It’s alright, Marcy. I understand.” It bothered her that she did, even if she didn’t agree with her actions. “I can’t imagine what you’ve gone through, and how much pain you must have been in until just a few hours ago. Lashing out is an understandable response in this situation, though I don’t condone it.” A pink hand found a grey one, squeezing it reassuringly.  _ Stay with me, Marceline. I need you too much.  _ She didn’t say that part. “I get it. You’re unstable by design, possess immense power, and I’m preventing you from using it the way you see fit. Whereas I see the potential for you to become whole you saw a room full of enemies. Given the situation I found you in that’s not exactly an erroneous conclusion.

“But I need you to not kill them, and I need you to not hurt them purposefully either. I still want you to become whole. I need you to come home with me, back to Ooo and back to-”  _ our, now  _ “-the castle.” By now the princess had pulled her queen back into her arms, allowing her head to rest on her chest. She knew the importance of physical contact, how it was necessary in order to entice the half-demon into giving in to her demands. Yet more than that, she realized only in that moment how much she herself had missed the physical connection with her lover. Until mere hours ago she had begun to suspect that it would be an experience forever denied to her as a consequence for her betrayal, yet here she was now, holding one of the most powerful aspects of her girlfriend’s psyche in her arms. This time she refused to take her for granted, even if meant finding a new balance between her stunted heartguts emotions and natural propensity to control entire situations using manipulation and intimidation.

It was, if nothing else, a fantastic opportunity to learn.

“I need you to trust me, Marceline.”  _ Even if I may not deserve it. Still more trustworthy than a good half of the house’s residents, though. Apparently.  _ “I know you can be dangerous, which is why I both made and kept the knife. I’m glad you understand, even if the others don’t. But for at least the moment they aren’t my concern. You are.” The vampire tensed, and the hand on her back rubbed gentle, soothing circles. “Not like that, silly. You were tortured. I understand that they think their reasons were justified, but I can’t excuse their behavior either, even if it was done out of fear. That will be a conversation for another time. Right now I’d like to learn more about your accelerated healing.” A mixture of amusement and being impressed seeped into her voice. “I didn’t think it was possible for a vampire to heal from a silver injury that quickly, let alone the sheer number of wounds you possessed. Tell me about that.”

Yet again a direct command, and so yet again she obeyed, even if it was done so reluctantly. “Well, it’s true what they said. Earlier, I mean. I’m the fastest healer of all of us, but it’s exhausting. When I’m wailing on them the adrenaline is enough to push me through it, but like you found me… it was pretty tiring to keep healing the wounds, since they kept happening. I usually just go Void Demon on whoever I’m fighting, since you know how hard it is to hurt me in that form, and it’s easier to maintain. It took the wad and three more of us to cage me.” She had tensed again, and the hand drifted hire, scritching the back of her still-girlfriend’s neck until she calmed once more.

“If restraining you was so difficult why didn’t they just gank you?”

Her eyes darkened. “The wad thought it was funnier this way.”

Bonnibel frowned.  _ That’s exactly what the Unifier said. I knew a large part of Marceline was full of rage, but this level of cruelty…  _ More importantly, she saw it then. The hurt, the frustration, the confusion. The dismay that came from betrayal and a lack of stability and guidance. The more she observed her mate the more agitated she became in knowing that some part of Marceline was so capable of effortlessly torturing herself; it was a behavior she had seen her engage in with enemies, but only now did Bubblegum realize that it could be turned inward. With loathing she found herself reminded of the stake nestled deep in the shoebox so helpfully labelled ‘Moral Code.” But now was not the time to inquire to the exact circumstances that led to the Tyrant’s containment, nor was it the time to update her on her own experiences. Instead she merely kissed the top of her head.  _ We can talk about the Cosmic Owl Dream tomorrow, when we’re both more rested.  _ “Come on, Marcy. Let’s go to bed.” The princess had expected some resistance, but her lover simply rose from the bed, wordlessly folding her jacket and stripping to her white bra and panties. Bubblegum tried not to ponder too hard as to what she should make of that instead removing her own clothing, at first just removing her shoes, socks, and outerwear. After a short moment of consideration she mimicked the older monarch, stripping to her own bra and panties.  _ You’re going to need the physical reassurance, even if you haven’t realized it yet. _

She slid under the blankets of the bed, already arranging them to support the naturally cool skin of the rocker. Once she was pleased with her preparation the Tyrant joined her. This time, however, their sleeping arrangement was different; whereas the half-demon usually took the protective position Bonnibel instead took the lead, pulling her vampire into her arms, allowing a grey head to rest against her chest, just above her heart. It would go without saying that she knew how much the older woman had missed her heartbeat; after a prolonged absence she always did, and she was sure that to her this was the longest absence she had ever experienced. A pink hand shifted behind the vampire’s head, effectively keeping it in its current position as the other arm wrapped around her waist. “See? Nice and calm. I’m right here. You’ve kept me very safe,” she whispered soothingly. The hand behind her head drifted to her ear, easily finding the magic spot that would leave her lover purring.  _ I didn’t realize how much I missed that sound.  _ She pulled her closer, the act just as affectionate as it was possessive.  _ My vampire. Mine. _

The Tyrant nuzzled against her lover, involuntarily draining her of her warmth. She disliked that her two weaker counterparts were being allowed to live, that they were straight below them, that she was being prevented from ending their pitiful existence, but fatigue and skilled fingers won out, preventing her from moving. With a yawn she managed to curl closer to the shorter woman before drifting to sleep just as quickly as Bonnibel had anticipated, having finally allowed herself to be overwhelmed by her exhaustion and the knowledge that the princess -  _ her  _ princess - was safe. Once she was sure she was asleep Bubblegum murmured softly to her, “You’ll be okay, Marcy. I can’t let you keep this level of self-deprecation. I’ll fix that. I’m not the only one that needs to be protected from myself.” After one last check that Marceline was actually asleep she nestled her cheek against her forehead, pulling her tighter before drifting off herself, deeply relieved to know that, if nothing else, a large part of her vampire still missed her, still wanted her, still loved her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Dead:
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Dead:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	12. Feint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Aaaand we're back! Bit of a delay for me, but this chapter is a bit bigger than normal. I spent a lot of time deciding if it should be split into two chapters, then decided, nah. Thank you all so much for your feedback/kudos/bookmarks/etc, because it makes difficult chapters like this super worth it. You rock.
> 
> Content warnings:
> 
> Graphic violence  
> Feels  
> Slight world-building  
> My favorite cliched line in this entire ship

**** In truth, the abrupt movie night had ended as quickly as it had began. Within two movies the group had begun to succumb to exhaustion, and knowing that the next day would involve Round 2 with the Usurper, Marceline announced that their time was best spent sleeping before promptly turning into a small bat, perching herself on the top-most ladder rung before curling up and falling asleep. It had happened so unexpectedly that at first the remaining three weren’t sure sure what it was they had just witnessed, but Jake took the opportunity to fall in love with the couch’s softness all over again, and, well, that was that. Soon he had made himself a small blanket fort on the left side of the couch; even now, or perhaps especially now, it felt just wrong to sleep above the middle segment. Thus, the fort was made as large as possible while avoiding No Man’s (or Dog’s) Land.

The fort promptly fell apart when, in his search for comfort, he rolled through the blankets to make himself a cocoon, but he didn’t seem to mind all that much.

Above the group, nestled in the bedroom, Bubblegum, had finally succumbed to sleep, still clutching the Tyrant in equal parts affectionately and possessively, her grip tightening with every body shift or position adjustment, only slackening when the vampire settled once more. If the vampire was aware of the strength - or nature - of the embrace she either didn’t know or didn’t care; she remained in her original spot curled against the younger woman, her princess’s steady heartbeat mixed with her own exhaustion more than enough to keep her asleep. Her own grasp was just as tight, though instead of possessive it was protective, as if a certain two enemy combatants in the living room below might get funny ideas about climbing the ladder and interrupting their rest by being weenies.

Thus, Marceline, Jake, the Tyrant, and Bonnibel slept soundly. Finn, on the other hand, did not. Oh, he had tried to follow his brother’s example and cocoon himself on the opposite end of the couch, but it was no good. He was haunted by not only the day’s events, but all of the events he had experienced so far. The Thorn Gate, his chained and bound friend, the destruction of the castle facsimile, the look of the Usurper as she decapitated a piece of one of his dearest friends, the wanton destruction of the world beyond the cave home shelter… even the rare pleasantries, such as finding Marceline - or, rather, her finding them - who had gone out of the way to not only find them food and blankets but use her own blood to fashion a weapon designed specifically for his use... it was all overwhelming. As discreetly as possible he unwrapped himself from his blankets, sneaking out of the house through the front door, spending almost two agonizing minutes closing the door as stealthily as possible. With nowhere else to go he climbed to the top of the house quietly, finding a sturdy spot to lay down, head rested in his hands behind his head.

His solitude didn’t last long.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Despite his desire to be alone Finn found himself with a small smile. Really, he wasn’t surprised that a Marceline had noticed his absence, or decided to go after him. Or, more specifically, he wasn’t surprised that  _ this  _ Marceline had noticed his absence and decided to go after him. It was odd to him, how close the two had become in such a short amount of time, since he arrived in the corrupted mindscape.  _ Well, I guess that’s not true. It started way back in the control room, when I-  _ His pondering was cut short when the Unifier landed next to him, offering her own small smile as she leaned back on her elbows, a blatant indicator that she had no intention of leaving any time soon. Not that the boy expected different, really; it struck him then that the vampire had been more in tune with his mental state than even Jake had been throughout this adventure. As time went on it had just become increasingly obvious to him. Still, as obvious as it was, her inquiry deserved an answer.

“Nah. Too tired to sleep.”

She nodded absently. “Yeah, I hear you. A lot’s happened. It’s all pretty normal for me I guess, but you guys don’t have the experience we do.” She paused. “Well, I guess I should say you do, you just didn’t realize it.”

Finn frowned. “Marce… how long have you really been down here?”

Her small smile turned morose as she evaded the question entirely. “That’s not what you really want to ask me, is it?” He blinked at that, taken off-guard. “I know what you actually want to ask me, but you gotta figure out the question for yourself, dude.”

He wasn’t sure how long he considered that comment, but when he responded he did so carefully. “Why does this place affect me more than the others?”

“Oh? What do you mean?” Her smile was knowing, though not mocking.

“Like when the Tyrant went all void-y. You were pretty quick to turn me away from her.” He paused. “Thanks, by the way.”

She nodded. “Like I said before. The Tyrant is dangerous because she messes with your mindmeats. She takes whatever horrors exist in your mind and she’ll just turn them against you. I don’t know what Jake’s history is like because I talk to the guy alone less. Bubblegum isn’t affected by that because the Tyrant literally can’t hurt her.”

“Wait, literally?”

Another nod. “Yup, literally. Something in her won’t let her. It’s why we wanted Bubblegum to tell her not to hurt us. If she thinks that’s what she  _ really  _ wants she can’t go against it. It’s kind of the difference between her and the Usurper. We all agree that morality is a relative concept...” How did one explain this logic to a young and gallant champion of good? “The Usurper doesn’t really have a code of conduct, you know? She just does whatevs. The Tyrant does have one, even if it’s twisted. She’ll do whatever Bubblegum wants. If that’s be whole she’ll find a way to force it down our throats. If it’s kill us all she’ll do it. Happily.”

“Huh.” He wavered, pondering that. “So how did you know that she’d affect me so much?”

Now her gaze turned to him, eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?,” she repeated.

“I mean… you made me not look at her, right? But Marceline just turned into a wolf to protect Jake. I know you can’t shapeshift like she can, but you still have your axe. You could have done something like that, but you didn’t.”

For a moment she said nothing. Then she chuckled. “I’m surprised you noticed that. Impressive for a dweeb. You’re smarter than you look. Or act.” He decided that was a compliment for the sake of progressing the conversation. “You have a lot of horror in your past, kid. I don’t know all your biz, but I know some of it. There’s a lot for her to act on.”

He frowned, turning to look at his ladybro. “How do you know? And she said we were friends, so why-”

“The Tyrant can’t help it. Whatever she does, all of that’s like a side effect. But like we told you guys when we were trying to warn you not to free her - thanks for that, by the way, big help - her only loyalty is to Bubblegum. If she has to hurt you to protect her she’ll do it.” Disgust seeped into her voice. “She’ll do anything if Bubblegum tells her to.” Just like that, her tone returned to normal. “And I know because you’re like me.” His silence encouraged her to continue. “You and I feel things pretty strongly. It’s how we react to the stuff that happens to us. You want to save people, I want to make music. It’s how we cope.”

“...Huh.” He considered this. “How do you know it’s like that, though?”

Now her smile was a knowing smirk. “Well, you having a meltdown in Bubblegum’s spyroom was my first clue. But I knew for sure at the Thorn Gate.”

“...Huh.”

She nodded absently. “This place, it’ll mess with you. Especially that Gate. They all do different stuff, but that one…”

When she trailed off he asked the question that had been bothering him for days. “Marce… what do you see? You said you could resist it, but not for long.”

The Unifier was reticent in her own mental analysis. With a sigh she shifted her position, pulling her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “You gotta understand, guy. The way you go through it is different for everyone. Whatever will mess with your mind the most, that’s what it does, because it’s messed up.” When he didn’t acknowledge the evasion she knew he wasn’t going to drop the topic without a topic. The vampire looked away from him, now staring the ceiling. “Home.”

He looked befuddled. “Home?”

Her voice was quiet now. “Yeah.”

After a brief mental battle, he decided to press her.  _ I shared, now she should.  _ The thought was one concerned, and he knew this may be the one shot he had of getting his friend to open up, especially with what happened and what was to come. “What do you mean? Like, Ooo?”  _ I thought you didn’t want to go back? _

Her pause was lengthy, a clear indicator of her reluctance to reveal something so personal. Soon, though, her resolve broke in response to her earnest friend. “Sometimes, but not always. Sometimes it’s on the streets with Simon, before the crown took him. Or with Bubblegum and the castle, back when I thought we were okay. Or… my mom.” He knew better than to press that one, knew from the way she tensed, the way her voice tightened. “Just places I can’t go back to. I know they’re not real, which is how I can get you guys through the Gate, but the longer I’m there…”

When she trailed off he frowned, beginning to understand. He finished for her. “When you’re there too long it gets harder to tell the difference?”

“Yeah. It gets harder to say no. It’s sucky like that.”

He nodded in sympathy. “No, I get it. You’re older than stuff.” The subtext: You’ve been through a lot, haven’t you? She chose not to respond to the implied question, knowing the answer was obvious. They were silent then, now both watching the cave’s ceiling.  _ Here goes nothing.  _

“Marce?

“Yeah?”

_ I want you to come home.  _ “...Think about going back to Ooo, okay? I know you and Peebles have a bad thing happening right now, but Jake and I would miss you. I know we’re not the only ones-”

“Finn-”

“I think Phoebe would, too.”

Now she was tense, her demeanor shifting to something more guarded. Were it anyone other than Finn she would have reacted far more violently to that comment, but hurting the boy sincerely was something she never could bring herself to do, especially when she noted the obvious tinge of heartache at her name. Pranks were one thing. Maiming the kid was another. Unfortunately, her change in disposition betrayed the impact of the comment, and though she narrowed her eyes at him threateningly he just shrugged. “I think you guys are close.”

“Yeah? What makes you say that?”

He stretched his shoulders. “Well, you said that she’s the only one that’s ever seen you all void-y besides Peebo, right? Jake and I haven’t seen it before, and we’re your best bros.” The young hero’s next words were chosen very carefully. “I don’t know what biz you guys have going on, but I know Marceline  _ really  _ didn’t want you telling us that, so I’m guessing PB doesn’t know.” The question was both rhetorical and thoughtful. “I’m just saying that people would miss you. I know you don’t deal well with stuff like that, but it’s still true, you know?”

Her sigh was almost a growl. Almost. “Finn, guy, I appreciate it… but you gotta understand, even if - I said  _ if,  _ don’t look at me like that - I did go back to Ooo-” She frowned, cutting off her own train of thought. “I think it might be best I just stay down here.”

“Weeaaak. I mean, yeah, there’s probably gonna be an adjustment period, but that’s what you have your buds for.” He cut her off before she could argue. “Tell you what. This place affects me like it affects you, right?”

“Sort of-”

“Cool, good enough for me. You help me now, I help you later. If you don’t want help later that’s cool, too. But Marceline might be right. You might change your mind, you know?”

The Unifier groaned in consternation. “Fine. Whatever.” 

He grinned. “That’s the spirit!” When she muttered that she was going to take a nap before they needed to leave he continued to grin, because he knew he was a hero, and heroes solved problems.

In the bedroom directly below the heartfelt chat a pink princess had finally awoken, unaware of the conversation occurring during above her, courtesy of the Unifier’s ability to manipulate the objects around her - including the roof, preventing sound from reaching pink ears. Blissfully ignorant of the sensitive dialogue happening above her, Bubblegum’s focus was held on the still-sleeping vampire as she wrestled with her first crisis of control. On the one hand, the group needed to be awake and prepared to leave immediately; the sooner they could find and terminate the Usurper the better for literally everyone in the mindscape. Yet on the other hand the Tyrant was sleeping soundly in what she - correctly - assumed to be the first actual night of rest she had experienced in possibly years. 

_ Alright, Bubblegum, break this problem down to its components. She’s our best shot against the Usurper, so we need her rested. But if we don’t leave soon we might miss… wherever the flip it is that monster is going.  _ But the dilemma went deeper than that, something she realized she could not avoid facing, focusing herself but stroking the back of her lover’s neck.  _ Of course… who’s to say when I’ll next be able to hold her like this. Even after we gank the Usurper we have yet to discuss our next plan of action.  _

She looked towards the trap door, her thoughts to the vampires below.  _ Perhaps if I let her rest as long as she likes she may be more agreeable? Even whole Marceline has always demonstrated the propensity to find loopholes in what I say, no matter how I say it.  _ Her attention once more turned towards the Baddie in her arms.  _ I’ve told her not to attack her other selves without my leave, but who’s to say she won’t find a way out of that order?  _

She huffed, but only internally.  _ Think, Bubblegum. You can’t just do nothing, but it’s hardly fair to wake her when she’s so peaceful. Her wounds have even-  _ The idea hit her then, her scowl replaced with a smile.  _ Ah, there we are. I’ll let her sleep while I take stock of the status of her wounds. Yes, good plan, brain. You’ve never let me down. _

Hundreds of years of working in a dark laboratory and sleeping in a room made pitch through black-out curtains had given the princess all of the time necessary to develop keen eyesight, even in an unlit room. While certainly incomparable to her vampire lover it was more than enough to allow her to examine the vampire in question, even in the dim light. Taking the utmost care to avoid jostling her still-girlfriend, a pink arm gradually slid from under a grey body, gently trailing to the first place of examination: the back of her skull.  _ Good thing she enjoys physical contact, or this would-  _ Her thought was cut off when she ghosted over the previous locations of the six silver nails, which she found to be sealed, but scarred. Once again, she found herself wrestling with two opposing views. On the one hand, she was relieved that the Tyrant’s accelerated healing meant that the grievous wounds had at least closed themselves, yet on the other hand that dark, analytical part of her mind simply would not shut up in its desire to further learn how powerful this ability was.  _ I mean, I’ve well-documented Marceline’s healing capacity when she’s whole, but this- Bubblegum! Stop that! There will be no intentional wounding of any Marceline just in the name of science. Anymore. Even if science is very important, and this would- brain! Stop that! _

Needing to distract herself from that line of thought she next turned her attention to the musician’s wrists. It took great effort to not allow her heartbeat to reflect her sudden burst of anger; only now did she realize that the silver spikes could have easily damaged the half-demon’s arms beyond even her ability to repair, permanently robbing her ability to make music.  _ I hadn’t even considered the possibility of irreparable nerve damage…  _ It was difficult to be both livid and mournful at what were essentially different shards of the same person, but Bubblegum found a way. Her hand trailed lightly to the arm draped over her waist as she glanced after it as much as she dared without risking her lover waking due to the abrupt movement. Like the head wounds the Tyrant’s wrists were also damaged but sealed; unlike the head wounds, however, the slumbering vampire winced, instinctively drawing her grey hand away from the searching pink one, preventing its owner from examining the underside.

It was becoming difficult to control her heartbeat, and her animosity.

_ Yup, that looks like nerve damage…  _ It was a sin, even to the princess, to rob her queen of her music. Even at her absolute worst she had never crossed that line; no matter what dark thought or curious thirst emerged from the brilliant mind there were things even Princess Bubblegum would never do, chief among them to rip that part away from her lover. She absently wondered if her girlfriend’s voice’s damage was permanent, if the damage to her wrists meant her bass would now be relegated to that of a weapon alone and resolved to have the Tyrant play for her before they left for the next leg of their journey.  _ In private. Just in case my suspicions are true.  _ If it were she hoped that the damage could be healed yet, and that it only took longer to restore nerves than it did to knit flesh back together. Withdrawing the invading hand, it next travelled to the blankets she found them buried under. This investigation would be easier, as Marceline would be far less likely to register a temperature difference, especially with a source of warmth in the form of her princess in close proximity. That same source had encouraged her to all but curl around the younger woman, making it easier to examine her legs. She found thick silver scars wrapping around grey legs, flesh that may always reflect the shackles that had previously held her. Bonnibel elected not to touch those scars, not caring to repeat her experiment to examine for nerve damage.  _ Twice was enough. I hope that immobilizing her knees didn’t- _

A sleepy, demonic eye opened. “...Bonnibel? What’s going on?” The voice was tired, the half-demon obviously on the precipice of wakefulness; it would only take a gentle nudge in either direction. 

“Examining you for damage.” Bubblegum blinked at her own voice, at her flat affect, at her matter-of-fact and distant tone.  _ Like you’re an experiment…  _ A dejected sigh escaped her, one misinterpreted by the vampire, who was now leaning more towards ‘awake’ than ‘asleep’. 

“Sorry, Bonnibel…” The scientist felt herself grimace internally, for the older woman did sound apologetic, as if the situation were her fault.  _ Did they do that to you? Or… did I?  _ It was a question she was not ready to ask, and she instead lowered the blankets, tucking her lover back in. Somewhere in the back of her mind a memory perhaps a decade old played, a reminder of a certain candy sphinx experiment gone wrong, of sleep deprivation, of a gentle and loving voice assuring the princess that everything would be alright. 

She mimicked it. “Marcy… it’s okay. Nothing’s wrong. I merely wanted to see how you were healing. You went through a lot…” Without waiting for an argument she wrapped the blankets around both monarchs, pulling her closer softly. “See? Sleep for as long as you want, Marcy. You need it.” 

That was enough for the Tyrant who, assured in the knowledge that her princess was safe, settled once more. “...Stay?”

Bonnibel understood then. Her lover - this part of her at least - was willing to follow her orders, even for what she disagreed with, but the younger woman had a duty to her as well. When presented with such a loyal and submissive partner it was her responsibility to assure she was utilized responsibly. Her own argument echoed in the back of her mind.

_ You can’t claim me without doing the work for it, you donkus! _

Not entirely sure how to respond verbally she gently pulled her queen closer, a non-verbal cue that she wouldn’t be leaving her. Yet as her still-girlfriend began to doze yet another memory, equally logical but still unpleasant, was involuntarily recalled as well.

_ No, seriously! Come on, you know you have a scary-bad dark streak. I mean, I won’t get into details with a sweet innocent child in the room, but we both know what I’m talking about. _

As cruel a woman as she was, the Usurper had been entirely accurate. Bonnibel did have a dark streak that could put even Marceline’s to shame. The streak that saw no problem with terminating experiments that didn’t go her way, whether or not they were alive or even felt pain. The dark part of her that created citizens to love her implicitly. That piece that had no problem single-handedly invading and spying on friends and foes alike out of paranoia. She felt her heartguts sink. _That part of me isn’t going away. I don’t even want it to, really. It’s useful without a doubt, and I won’t jeopardize the safety of my kingdom with frivolous sentiment. And yet…_ Without meaning to, she pulled the dozing rockstar closer possessively. _You never did hurt me, did you Marceline? Not until this bunk, even with your crazy bad dark side. I need to stop hurting you._ _...But I don’t even know what that means. I’ve approached everything with assumptions and erroneous evidence._ She blinked in sudden understanding. _Yes. We’re going to need to have a long talk when we get home about both of our behavior. Because you’re coming home, vampire, if I had to drag you out kicking and whining._ Her smile was wry at the idea of Marceline being the emotionally mature one. _Well, stranger things can happen I suppose. Sometimes candy princesses fall in love with vampire queens._

Below the now dozing monarchs Marceline prepared breakfast with the last of the foodstuffs while the Unifier and Finn were presented with the arduous task of waking Jake up, who was supposedly under a pile of blankets on the couch.

“Dude, I don’t even know where he is.”

“He’s wrapped up like a burrito. It’s his dream.”

“To be wrapped up like a burrito?”

“Nah man, to  _ be  _ the burrito.”

“Huh.” The Unifier turned towards the kitchen. “Hey! You wanna light a fire under this burrito?”

Marceline poked her head over the divider with a look of sheer unamusement. “Guy, I’m not cooking our friend. Try something better.”

Finn chuckled at the Unifier’s glower. “Hey, Marce, I’m curious. You only eat shades of red. How is it you actually know how to cook?” 

The Unifier rolled her eyes. “Right, because Bubblegum was made knowing how to not starve. I at least had Simon.” 

The constant discussion of food finally coaxed Jake to poke his head out. “Yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask. Where are you getting all of this life-giving food anyway?”

Marceline ignored the Unifier’s pointed look. “I told you. I traded with the wad. She has lots of stuff.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, speaking of that. What exactly did you trade her?”

Marceline resisted the urge to squirm. “...Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah, that’s not suspicious.”

“Nope! Glad we agree!” Before her weaker self could retort she held up two plates. “Hey! Mortals! Come and-” As if through the magic of teleportation, Jake was already laying claims to his omelette, clutching the plate selfishly. Ignoring the gluttony of their eldest friend, the Unifier turned her sights on the trap door. “Should we go up there and see how they’re doing?” Finn slowly grinned devilishly. 

“Are you saying you still care about Peebo?” 

She snorted, floating back to the couch. “No way. I’m just saying, if she keels over during our journey one of us has to carry her.”

“Yeah, but you’re super-strong. It’s not like it’d bother you.”

“It’d bother me to be that close to her.”

“Uh huh. Whatever you say.”

“Liste-”

The sound of the trap door stopped all discussion about who still cared for whom. The first to emerge was the Tyrant, holding a certain brown bag and still wearing her varsity jacket, heavily torn black pants, and glare, though that last long was aimed squarely at the other two vampires. Once her feet touched the floor she assisted Bonnibel’s descent before handing back her messenger bag. Once her lover was securely on the ground she addressed her. 

“See? I didn’t kill them.  _ Now  _ can I go get my bass?”

She raised an eyebrow. “Marceline, you’ve been down here for perhaps fifteen seconds-”

“Longest fifteen seconds ever,” she muttered, promptly silencing herself at a warning look from her lover.

“Don’t talk back. As I was saying, you’ve been down here for perhaps fifteen seconds. Once you’ve demonstrated that you can restrain yourself, then I will allow you to get your bass.”

Although the response from the Tyrant was another mutter, and largely incomprehensible, it was evidently something the princess approved of. “Good girl. Now,” she turned back towards the group. “What’s the plan, guys?” 

Jake looked up from the remains of his omelette. “I was thinking we continue to eat and let come what may!” Once again, he hid his mouth in his paw, making a poor attempt to throw his voice. “Yeah! Jake has the best ideas! That handsome dog should be president!” 

With a roll of her eyes Marceline returned to the kitchen. “What do you want, princess? We have to feed you so you don’t bite it before we even kick the Usurper’s butt. It’d make her way too happy.” However, Bonnibel wasn’t listening to her wayward-girlfriend; she and Finn were already on the floor with his notebook and pen. The boy placed pen to paper before hesitating. After a brief pause he turned to the Unifier. “Hey, Marce, can you help us make a map? We want to have a plan of kick-butt action.” 

To his surprise, she shook her head. “Nah guy. Let’s wait for Jake to stop being a pig and for Her Majesty’s breakfast to be served to her by the lowly vampire in the kitchen.” When the Tyrant glared at her she glared back. “Oh, I’m sorry, does my distasteful but still super-correct description offend Her Highness’s pet’s sensibilities?” Hearing the deep growl she grinned smugly. “Thought so. For all your strength you’re not gonna do a lumpin’ thing unless she gives you permission? Man, you fell far-” 

Her tirade was interrupted by Marceline, who had returned to the room with a third plate, coming to a stop before the two other queens. “Okay, break it up. You,” she turned to the Unifier, “stop being a ding dong. You,” she turned to the Tyrant, “stop letting her bait you. We know you could tear us in half and the only thing stopping you is Bubblegum, who said she doesn’t want you to do that but hey, she’s been known to change her mind about causing us bodily harm in the past, so…” She paused, letting the subtext of ‘we know we’re on thin ice’ be loud and clear. “You,” she turned to Bonnibel shoving a plate and fork into her hands, “eat food.” Before the scientist could react she stuck out her forked tongue, floating upstairs.

Releasing the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding, Finn returned to the notebook. “Okay bro and ladybros. How are we doing this thing?” 

The Unifier snatched the pen and notebook. “So, here’s the what up. The Usurper is unstable and erratic, but predictable.” Bonnibel resisted the urge to inform her that one could not be both erratic and predictable, letting her possible-lover continue as she began to doodle on the first blank page she found. “There are four main structures in this world. We’re in the first one right now. The second is… was, the Candy Kingdom. That’s not a thing anymore, obvs. The third is the Tree Fort. The last is the wad’s lair.” The Tyrant frowned, taking a seat next to her favorite scientist, nudging her a reminder to eat her breakfast. 

“Did she say where she’s going to be headed?”

The Unifier continued to doodle tiny buildings. “She said she wants us to meet her ‘you know where’.”

“Well, at least she’s not stupid enough to go after the wad. Not with me around at least. No way she’d risk a 3-vampire brawl. Think the twins would help her?”

The weaker queen snorted sarcastically. “No way. They don’t exactly want to get involved in our junk.”

Bonnibel turned, leaning her back against the Tyrant as she continued to eat, a grey arm coming to wrap around her waist. “Who are ‘the twins’?” To her amusement, both half-demons grimaced at the same time.

“Let’s not talk about those guys.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty weird.”

“Pretty really weird.”

Marceline returned from the bedroom before the topic could be pressed. “I was thinking-”

“What a scary new feeling for you.”

The Unifier snickered as the Tyrant shrank under a piercing green glare, muttering an apology that seemed sincere. Marceline continued, undeterred. “She probably went to the cabin.” 

Now both of her counterparts paused, exchanging a look. “I hate to say it, but the donkus might be on to something.” 

Finn chanced a look at the notebook, relieved to see that there actually seemed to be some method to the Unifier’s drawings. “So, the Tree Fort is halfway between the Cave House and this mysterious lair you won’t tell us anything about? So where’s the cabin?”

This time it was Marceline who took the notebook, adding a fifth doodle in the vicinity of the Tree Fort. “Here. It’s not a structure, but it’s still a place that I guess has some meaning, because it keeps being a place and not a pile of rubble-junk. But no one lives there.”

“Why not?”

She rubbed the back of her neck nervously. “It’s… uncomfortable being in there.” Clearly her counterparts agreed because they looked just as uneasy discussing it. “But if she’s going to go anywhere it’s there. It’s neutral turf.”

“It also takes us far away from the Cave House, which she can’t enter.” The Tyrant took the now empty plate from her princess, placing it off to the side and out of her way.

“Yeah, that’s true. We should bring everything with us. Don’t know when we’ll be back. We gank the Usurper, maybe take out the twins while we’re at it, then go meet-”

“Give Bonnibel the dagger.”

Marceline stopped talking, now joining the Unifier in staring blankly at the Tyrant. “Sorry, but I only know how to say ‘no’ in three languages, so-”

“Give. Her. The. Dagger.”

“Why the flip would we do that?”

The grey arm tightened around the younger monarch’s waist protectively. “Because she needs to be able to defend herself.”

The Unifier smirked. “I thought that’s what you were for?” 

Before the Tyrant could move a pink hand reached up, one finger hooking into the collar lightly in a silent warning to behave herself while its owner shot the weakest vampire a warning stare. “That’s enough. She’s right. In the event we become separated I need a way to protect myself. I think that’s pretty obvs, given that the Usurper has been very vocal in her desire to end my life. It’s not fair or even a good idea to leave my life entirely in the hands of the same person we’re counting on to end the lunatic. She can’t do both things, and you’re just trying to start a fight, assuming I’ll stop her.”

“Bubblegum, are you accusing me of a misdeed? Now my feelings are hurt.”

The hand tightened around the collar before the Tyrant even tensed. “Stop being difficult.”

“But I’m so good at it.”

“You’re not helping, Unifier.”

“I’m not trying to, Bubblegum.”

Not for the first time, Marceline moved between both almost-warring parties. “Alright guys, cool your butts. We have enough problems without you two chumping it up.” Now she turned to the Unifier. “I don’t like it either, but Bubblegum’s right. You want the Tyrant to use her ‘I’ll destroy literally everything except Bubblegum because I have a one-track murder-filled mind’ powers in our favor? She needs to be able to not worry about the princess. And, in case you forgot or are just ignoring, I’m  _ still  _ in favor of hearing her out, and we still have three others who don’t know what she pulled. So yeah,” she turned to Finn, “go ahead, give her the dagger.” 

The boy saluted, fishing into his backpack for the weapon in question. “Your dagger of almost certain doom, Preebles.” 

She smiled gently, returning the blade to her bag. “Thank you, Finn.” The collar was released. “Alright guys. I have my dagger. Finn, you’ve got your sword. Jake, do you still have your stake?” 

The dog opened his eyes, having fallen asleep without realizing it. “Yup. I got my stake, and nothing incriminating.” 

She nodded. “Glad to hear it. Well, looks like we all have a weapon of some sort-”

“Ahem.”

“Ah, right, I forgot.” The princess lifted herself from her visibly-disgruntled mate, kissing her cheek. “You’ve been very good.  _ Now  _ you can have your bass back.” 

Before she had even finished standing Marceline, poorly concealing a look of alarm, was halfway up the ladder. “I got it!” Five pairs of eyes followed her, each a different combination of concerned, suspicious, perplexed, and curious. 

Finn nodded thoughtfully as he returned the notebook to his backpack. “Don’t worry guys, I’m sure that’s not ominous at all.” Jake nodded his agreement. 

“Yeah, not from  _ that  _ Marceline at least.” 

The Unifier turned, glaring. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you’re a suspicious, shady individual almost certainly up to no good.”

She blinked, then relaxed. “Oh, I thought you meant something else. No, that’s pretty accurate.”

The Tyrant’s anxious waiting was rewarded when the mid-strength vampire returned with the missing axe, closing the trapdoor in the process. As the strongest vampire strapped it on she surveyed the rest of the group. “Alright brainlord and assorted weenies. Let’s go find the Usurper so I can rip her head off.” After offering Bonnibel’s hand a reassuring squeeze she left the house without further comment, followed by the princess in question, the vampires trailing behind their friends. On her way out the Unifier grabbed two more towels, tossing them to Finn as Marceline sealed the house’s entrance. As they waited the Tyrant turned towards the boy. “Since you’re in there anyway, mind if I borrow your pen and the notebook?” Without waiting for permission - not that Finn had expected her to - the vampire snatched the aforementioned items from his bag. After opening to the first blank page she found she stopped, staring thoughtfully. “...Mm.” She began to scribble into it, first one page, then its back, then a second page. Task complete, she ripped both pages out the book, returning the tools to the boy. “Thanks.” The pages she folded, tucking them into her jacket’s pocket. Once again the young hero saluted as the group rejoined.

“Alright, what’s the plan?”

The Unifier motioned towards the cave entrance. “We’re heading to the cabin. She’s not going to head to the Tree Fort the way things are now, and I don’t think she’s dumb enough to risk a three-way fight with the wad. If she wants to meet us anywhere it’s there.” 

Jake nodded. “Good point, yeah. What happens if we run into that monster thing we heard?” 

At once both weaker vampires paled as their stronger part glared absolute death at them. “...Monster thing.” She cut them off as Marceline hazarded to explain. “Are you  _ serious _ ?! How many are out there?!” 

The recently-most-powerful half-demon squirmed when her friends turned to gaze at the spectacle before them. “Uh… one? Maybe two?”

“ _ MAYBE?! _ ”

More squirming. “...Yeah. Maybe.”

“You didn’t kill them?!”

The Unifier scowled. “It showed up on our way to fight the Usurper the first time. We weren’t exactly in a place to kick its butt! We were doing stuff!”

“You could have been doing it now you dingus! This whole time you could have been looking for it!”

“See, I would have  _ loved  _ to, but we were too busy getting a lecture from these dinks because-” Too late, Marceline covered her mouth.

“...Because they found out you had me in a cage. Is that what you were going to say?” Her voice had dropped, becoming as calm and controlled as it was just before she had almost wasted the group. This time, however, Bonnibel didn’t move to save them as the Tyrant edged closer. “Are you for real seriously blaming them for your mistakes? And your failure? You know this world. They don’t. Two of them are flippin’ mortals-” She turned an icy glare on the Unifier. “Don’t. Don’t say they shouldn’t be here. We’re lucky they care this much. I know she,” she nodded to Marceline, “knows that, because she’s-”

Now Marceline held up her hands. “Don’t tell them what I am! I want to reveal it dramatically!”

They regarded one another before the Tyrant returned her attention to the Unifier. “...We’re lucky and she and I both know it. Don’t take it out on them because you’re empty inside.”

Sharp teeth gritted. “I’m not-”

“Oh,  _ excuse me _ , I forgot you had that tiny shred of a dink in you. But she’s just a drop. You’re still empty. Deal with it. Because if I could, I’d tear you in half and go back to Ooo myself. But I can’t.” 

With that she turned, leaving the group where they stood dumbfounded, the princess frowning in dissatisfaction. When they slowly began to trickle to the cave entrance Bonnibel held back, waiting until she and the Unifier were alone. If she was aware that her gallant champions were spying she gave no indicator. “What did she mean by that?” The response was a scoff, but it wasn’t enough to assuage the curiosity of the scientist, who grabbed her arm as she went to pass her. “What did she mean by that?” Now her voice was firm; were they in Ooo it would be a tone reserved for when Marceline was misbehaving, and that knowledge made sharp teeth clench. But the pink hand was a vice, and she dared not risk the Tyrant interpreting any physical interaction as a threat to her mate. The lesser of all evils was to give her some information, as little as she could get away with. 

“...Everyone down here has a purpose. The Usurper is rage. Your Tyrant is loyalty and submission. I’d tell you what the other one is, but apparently she wants to be a butt and be dramatic. But I don’t have one. I’m supposed to be a vessel that all the soul shards go into, but unless they do there’s nothing inside of me.” Her arm released she retreated to the cave entrance, ignoring Bubblegum’s stare and Finn’s look of worry as they belatedly followed.

Marceline waved as the rest of the group finally joined them. “Wanna see something funny?” Without waiting for a response she grabbed Jake, throwing him over her shoulder as she rapidly flew to the exit, her cackling laughter bouncing off of the cave walls, drowning out the dog’s alarm. The Unifier smirked. 

“She’s right. That was funny. Alright hero boy,” she turned to Finn, grabbing him under his arms. “Your turn!” 

Soon she, too, was out of view, and the Tyrant turned towards Bonnibel with a look of delight. “Can I?” 

Green eyes rolled. “Alright, let’s go.” With a fanged grin the Tyrant scooped her princess into her arms, one arm under her knees while the other supported her back as she flew after her other selves, though far slower; neither would admit it, but both royals had missed flying together, even if it was such a short trip. By the time they landed Marceline was rolling in the air with laughter, pointing at Jake, who had turned an incensed shade of red not yet seen since The Goliad Incident.

“Your face!” 

“You don’t do that to a bro, bro!”

“It was just a prank! An awesome prank!”

“Pranks are only funny when they happen to someone else!”

“You’re someone else!”

“Not to me I’m not!”

Finn stood to the side with a horrible sense of deja vu, silently relieved when the Tyrant and Bubblegum joined them. “Welcome to the group, ladies.” Both aforementioned ladies were visibly disappointed when they were forced to part. 

“Hello, Finn. Are we all set to continue?” 

The boy turned to the two quarreling companions. “Hey Jake! Preebs wants to know if we’re gonna hit the road!” The response was a thumbs up, the dog’s mass increasing in size for the first time since their last tangle with the Usurper. Now easily twenty times the older hero’s size and weight, a giant paw offered a literal lift to the dog’s back to his brother, princess, and two of the three vampires. As he did so he stretched his head, shrinking it enough to stare at Marceline eye-to-eye.

Which he did, while squinting. 

“I’m not giving  _ you  _ a ride.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Dweeb, I can fly.” Which she then demonstrated by flying ahead of the group, scanning the surrounding area with the assistance of the Unifier. When the engorged paw deposited its passengers on its owner’s back he realized they were missing someone. 

Finn poked his head over. “You’re not coming, Tyrant-bro?” 

The vampire shook her head. “Walking.” 

“...Why? Plenty of room up here!”

Her eyes darkened. “It’s been awhile since I could.”

He understood immediately, looking to Bubblegum for further guidance. Nodding her understanding, she poked her head over to her vampire. “Have a nice walk! Once you’re all set come join me up here!”  _ I need you rested for this fight. _ The Baddie waved her acknowledgement, keeping pace with the giant dog as their journey began anew. 

Not wanting to even speak to Marceline at the moment, Jake glanced downward at the one cooperating queen. “So how far are we going? Like, Candy Kingdom or-” 

A grey head shook. “No, the Candy Kingdom was farther than the cabin. It’s like a rest stop on the way to the wad’s lair.” 

Finn poked his head over once more. “Like a save point!” 

Before anyone else could, Bubblegum sighed patronizingly. “Finn, not everything is a video game-” 

He nodded. “Oh, I know. That’s why I said it’s  _ like  _ a save point. Totes different.”

Before she could respond a loud whistling noise interrupted her, followed by one of the vampires - she wasn’t sure who - shouting, “Uh… Tyrant? Can you come up here?” With a groan of, “what now?” the summoned rockstar joined her counterparts. 

A muffled comment later and Jake stopped moving, turning his head to his riders. “The Marcelines want to check something out. They said to sit tight and entertain yourselves.” 

“...Oh.” Finn scratched his chin thoughtfully. “What if… we entertain ourselves by seeing what they’re looking at?” This was an acceptable suggestion, and moments later Jake returned his eyes to the road, his body following with them. The trio found the other half of their party, all oddly standing on the floor, pointing at various parts of the road in the distance before whispering to each other. When they noticed they had an audience the conversation stopped, Marceline flying up to meet the others. 

“Okay, so here’s the dealio. We’re going to take a slight detour. Not gonna add too much time to the journey. And the Tyrant’s gonna ride up here with you guys. And neither of these things are suspicious at all.” 

Bubblegum gave her a look of disbelief. “Marceline, you can’t make something not suspicious by telling us it isn’t suspicious. That’s the most suspicious thing you can do.” 

Finn stroked his chin. “Yeah, but… she said it  _ wasn’t  _ suspicious, PB.” 

The princess rubbed her temples. “I understand that, Finn, but-” Her patronizing explanation was interrupted by the arrival of the Tyrant, who looked none-too-pleased that her pleasant walk had been interrupted. For a moment the queen and the scientist merely exchanged glances. Then the younger woman smirked, directing her attention back to the still-floating vampire. “You know I’m just going to ask her what’s going on, right?” Apparently Marceline did not know that, because her eyes widened in sudden understanding. Unfortunately, she was too late to stop Bonnibel from making good on her threat. “What’s happening?” 

Before a response could be generated Marceline flew between the couple. “OR! Or or or. We don’t say anything at all. Good plan, amirite?” The Tyrant looked unconvinced and so she adopted a new strategy. “OR! Or or or. You wouldn’t want to say or do anything to put Bubblegum in danger, amirite?” The Tyrant sighed deeply, an indicator that she agreed, but that it wasn’t going to stop her anyway. “Sorry me, Bonnibel has rules about keeping secrets, and she just gave me this whole lecture last night about not interpreting her will for her.” 

Before she could interrupt herself the strongest vampire addressed her lover. “Do I have to?” When she received an affirmative she allowed herself a frustrated huff. “We found an indicator that two of those monster things are nearby. We’d rather not risk them finding us, so we’re going around them.”

At Marceline’s groan Jake froze. “Wait. There’s  _ two  _ of them now?” 

Finn motioned to his sword. “Come on! We can take ‘em!” 

The Tyrant crossed her arms. “I agree, but I think someone in this group wants us to, you know, conserve our energy and junk.” There was no question who ‘that someone’ was, and Finn eyed her through a shifty glance. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

The older woman rolled her eyes. “So I’m up here babysitting, just in case something shows up. You know. Mere mortals and all that. You should consider not being those anymore.” Clearly satisfied with her own reasoning, the vampire proceeded to lay herself in Bonnibel’s lap, who began petting her, as if that were a fair reward for turning traitor on her counterparts. Marceline frowned disapprovingly. 

“Weak.” 

In response the Tyrant smirked, eyes closing in contentment. The still-airborne half-demon scoffed, then resumed her position at the front of the pack. “Alright, dogbutt. Follow us.” The dog began moving once more, trailing after the two party leaders.

At first, the path was eerily familiar. The group was leaving the city, that much was certain; in fact, the path seemed almost identical to that the group had first taken to reach the Candy Kingdom, what felt like weeks ago. The realization settled on the group like a thick fog, and out of instinct the Tyrant rolled over to face the road, taking her lover’s hand in support. In a bizarre change of pace Bonnibel found that she had been the one to tense without realizing it, her vampire offering comfort she hadn’t realized she needed. She squeezed back. Finn, on the other hand, had no such support as he belatedly realized that only the Unifier was empathetic to his emotional state; if the Tyrant or Marceline noticed they gave no indication that he had become all-too reminded that they were coming within the vicinity of the Thorn Gate. Whether its area of effect had increased or he was simply bordering on a bad flashback the realization turned his stomach.  Needing a distraction he turned to his steed-buddies. “Hey Tyrant-bro, I’ve been meaning to ask. Marce said that she’s been in the house since the beginning, but the Unifier got mad mad when she heard that. Did you know she was there?” 

The undead monarch yawned, ignoring as her princess took her arm, examining her wrist. “Finn, kind of hard to check something like that from a soundproof torture room.” 

He blinked, his shoulders slumping. “Oh. Right. Sorry.” Unable to tolerate the silence he continued undeterred. “It’s just kind of weird.” 

A black eyebrow arched as a demonic eye opened. “What’s weird?” 

He glanced over his shoulder to make sure he wasn’t being overheard before returning to his friends. “You guys are supposed to be able to sense one another, right? But Unifier had no idea Marce was even in the house… and I think she was sleeping in the closet?” 

The Tyrant snorted in poorly repressed laughter. “Yeah, that sounds like her.” The monarch was nudged slightly and she rolled onto her side, now facing the boy. “We’re all different parts of the same person, right? Well, some of us are better at some abilities than others.”

“Oh, I get it. Like how you’re best at healing.”

“Yup. I’m pretty resilient. Part of my charm, yo.” She ignored the knowing smirk surely happening behind her.

“So whatever part of you Marce is… is best suited to being invisible? Even though she’s the strongest except for the Big Three?” He frowned in concentration, the Tyrant taking visible joy in watching him try to figure out what she could possibly represent. When he realized he was officially entertaining he eyed Bonnibel, grinning mischievously. “Peebles, you should definitely ask her to tell me. That’d be super rad, right?” 

The Tyrant snickered when his look of hope was dashed, but before she could taunt him further she was interrupted by her princess. “Sorry, Finn. You’ll just have to live with the pain of ignorance.” He squinted at her, but whatever retort he was drumming up was cut short by Jake, who had come to a stop in front of the Thorn Gate. In fact, all conversation ceased as the six stood in front of the ominous wall. After one more reassuring squeeze to Bubblegum’s hand the Tyrant rose, joining her others at the front of their glorified steed. 

“How are we handling this? We going around, or what?” Her palm extended, a small green flame igniting. “I could burn the thing down. It’s not like it’s protecting anything anymore.” With a frown Marceline turned towards the Unifier. “What’s the plan, O’ Fearless Leader?” 

The fearless leader in question either didn’t hear the conversation happening around her or didn’t care, her focus entirely rooted on the obstruction ahead of her. Finn turned to watch intently, wearing his own frown.  _ Come on, Marce. Let her trash it. You don’t need it. You’re gonna come back with us.  _ To his disappointment, the near-powerless vampire shook her head. “No. Leave it. It’s not like going around it will take much longer.” The decision made, the Tyrant extinguished the small flame, returning  to her seat next to her lover as the journey continued.

Needing a distraction, the boy plopped on his butt, watching the curious scientist return to her examination. “Uh… PB? Whatcha doin’?” 

“Checking to see how she’s recovering,” she replied in a clearly distracted tone, a tone that easily translated as ‘don’t bother me, I”m working.” It was a tone he knew well, one that, in his younger days, he often ignored and was often injured for his transgression, sometimes purposefully, sometimes not, sometimes it was hard to tell. He couldn’t help but give a small smile when the Tyrant rolled her eyes, letting her girlfriend roll up her jacket to check the exit wound in her back, only to wince and twitch involuntarily. “I thought as much.” The jacket was rolled back down, pink arms bringing the powerful vampire with it. “You appear to have nerve damage.” 

Aforementioned vampire shrugged. “Probably. Silver is pretty difficult to heal from, even for someone as awesome as me.” 

The princess tilted her head. “Can you heal nerve damage?” 

The queen scratched her chin in thought. “Maybe? You know, I’ve never needed to heal as much damage as this before.” When she looked up she was met with an incredulous look and squirmed. “Hey, I’m trying! I know the rules, Bonnibel. It’s just tiring to keep doing it, you know?” 

She didn’t, but that didn’t stop her from feigning it. With a smile she pulled her lover back into her lap. “Take breaks if you need to, Marcy. There’s no sense further straining yourself.”  _ Not when you’re our linchpin.  _ Relieved, the half-demon yawned, closing her eyes. 

“‘Kay. Taking a nap. Wake me when there’s something to kill.”

Soon the group began to leave both the Thorn Gate and the forest surrounding it behind. Unseen during their original trek to the Candy Kingdom the forest was flanked on its right by what appeared to be a poor approximation of the Grasslands. ‘Poor’ being the operative word; the true Grasslands was green and rich in life, both of the plant and not-plant varieties. It was home to many and housed a multitude of villages. It was difficult to traverse any part of it without tripping over some creature or pseudo-life form, hard to avoid the sheer variety of beings that made the sprawling area their home.

Like the rest of Marceline’s mindscape, this area was twisted, a symptom of a deranged and corrupted mind. The lush grass, once soft and springy, was now a desolate brown, almost black with infection in certain patches, so thin that the cracked grey ground beneath was impossible to miss. With every gentle breeze a little more of it was blown away, disintegrating before it even left the ground; in its wake the grey earth crumbled just a little more, and though it was impossible to say what lay beneath its exterior the rust smell had returned, increasing in pungency the more Jake stepped. To the dog’s distress what trees should have existed were wilted and dying, split at the trunks with a menacing green ooze glowing from within, a gel-like substance that he was convinced he had seen somewhere before but honestly wasn’t too keen on trying to remember where. Where the sludge bled it scorched the surrounding terrain like corrosive acid, further cementing his decision to Not Think About It. Growing desperate to find something, anything, friendly and normal he turned to the patches to the north normally rich in mushrooms. Instead he found them rich in small red bushes, coated in purple and green pricker-burs, plants he assumed to be just as corrosive as the trees, Just In Case. To his relief the vampires were leading him away from the potential death-spikes. To his disappointment they were instead directly around the Thorn Gate, hugging it But Not Literally.

“Uh… where we goin’?”

Marceline looked over her shoulder. “The cabin is on the outskirts of the Candy King-”

Bonnibel looked down to the dozing vampire in her lap. “It’s my cabin, isn’t it.” It was a statement, not a question, and the answer came in the form of a knowing smirk. Her attention was redirected to Marceline. “Why is my cabin in your mind?” She flipped over on her back mid-air, shrugging.

“Hey, we don’t pick what goes on in our brain. And technically isn’t it your Great Uncle’s cabin?” The princess’s clear lack of amusement didn’t deter the half-demon’s, who stuck her tongue out at her. “It’s neutral turf. No one owns it. No one can even claim it.”

That piqued her interest. “Why?”

A shrug. “Dunno. If you try it kicks you out. So you can chill there, but you can’t tell it what to do.”

A pink eyebrow raised. “And what exactly is the inside like?”

But Marceline was no longer engaged in the conversation. In fact, no vampire was; both she and the Unifier had returned to the front of the ride, visibly tense. Even the Tyrant had risen from her comfortable spot in her lover’s lap and was staring intently ahead. When the next question came the three outsiders knew it wasn’t posed to them. “How many did you say you let live?”

“One. Maybe two.”

“Mm.” When she drew her axe her counterparts did the same. “You two, back here.” After exchanging a look, both of the weaker queens joined their favorite tyrant, never taking their eyes off of the road ahead, even as they landed. “Jake, stop.” With a noise of concern the dog stopped, stretching his head back to join the rest of the group. Demonic eyes flickered back to the princess. “Alright, here’s how we’re doing this-”

“Pretty sure I’m supposed to be leader,” the Unifier muttered, silenced only at the Tyrant’s glare. 

“...Yeah, thought so. Like I was saying, here’s how we’re doing this. You,” she pointed to the Unifier, “stay with Bonnibel. For some flippin’ reason she still wants us to be whole, so I have to keep you alive by default. Unless~” She turned to her lover hopefully, but the look of displeasure she received in reply was enough of a response. “Fine. Whatever. I need to keep you alive, so you’re back here. You,” now she pointed to Marceline, “stay back here with them. The Unifier is going to be useless, so you might as well babysit her while the only vampire worth anything handles this. Which is me, by the way. In case you’re confused. This should also go without saying, but you’re gonna protect Bonnibel as well. Actually, protect her more.”

“Marceline.”

A warning tone and the Tyrant groaned in surrender. “Fine. Protect them both  _ equally _ . Just. Bonnibel  _ more _ equally. Got it?” Marceline rolled her eyes, saluting sarcastically. “Cool.” Without warning she kicked the Unifier over the side of the dog. Marceline shot her a glare before joining her literally fallen self. As the Tyrant picked Bonnibel up she grinned at her now even more displeased look. “Ah, come on. It was funny.” 

Pink arms crossed defiantly. “What did I say about not hurting them purposefully?” 

The Tyrant pretended to look thoughtful before peaking her head over Jake’s side. “Hey loser! You alright? You remember you can fly before you went splat?”

From below, a very irritated Unifier called back, “You’re a jerkwad, you know that?”

Satisfied and smug, the Tyrant returned her attention to her princess. “See? She’s fine! So I didn’t disobey.” Even as they took to the air, and even as Bonnibel rested her head against her queen’s chest, her look of dissatisfaction never faded.  _ Even in her most obedient state she still finds loopholes.  _ She wasn’t sure if she found this thought comforting or irritating, and so settled on both. Once she was gently placed on the ground she began to ask what exactly was happening, but was interrupted by the concussive sound of mechanical howling combined with the unmistakable cacophony of large pieces of metal scraping one another, its source indiscernible to all except, evidently, the vampiric trio, the strongest of which now turned back to the gallant champions. “Alright, heroes. You want to beat something up?” Finn’s look of elation and Jake’s nod of affirmation were all the answer she needed. “Cool. Stay away from me so you don’t freak out again like weenies, kay?” 

Finn’s fist slammed into his chest twice. “Ready, Jake?!”

“Man, I was born ready!”

“Mathematical! What time is it?!”

“Adv-”

Before the brothers could finish their beloved catchphrase they were interrupted by the ground in front of them crumbling into a gaping chasm. They had no time to ponder this new development, because two creatures emerged immediately, wasting no time in turning on the travellers. The first creature was larger, even larger than Jake in his current form, and in inadequacy he returned to his normal size. Possessing no limbs, the large purple monster slid along the ground like a spasming leech, yet instead of fangs its mouth was almost human; when opened flat white teeth were exposed, as was a long purple tongue the same shade as its body. To Finn’s disturbance he realized that it possessed two eyes on the sides of its mouth that were just as human as the mouth itself, complete with black pupils and brown irises, the lids held open by hooked chunks of debris. When it thrashed Jake realized it wasn’t actually long at all, just massive, the purple not its skin, but rather decaying flesh that looked horribly squishy. He choked back his nausea by trying very hard not to imagine what it must feel like, then failing when he realized he might need to touch it to fight it.

Perhaps, though, the most distressing thing about the creature was its cry, which was a wail occasionally interrupted by an all-too-human scream. Following the screen the purple tongue would lash out of the mouth flopping on the ground in search of something, neither brother knew what nor did they care to find out. Unfortunately for both, the leech-like monster spotted them quickly and made for them slowly. As disconcerting as the disfigured beast was both Finn and Jake knew that they were up to the task of stopping it. After a nod to one another the boy drew his sword as Jake grew massive once more in preparation for stomping it out of existence, literally if at all possible.

But it was the second one that drew the Tyrant’s attention. Unlike the first creature this one was silent, smaller, and more humanoid. It jutted forward on two legs that were long, thick, and coated in soiled bandages and rust-caked gashes. The bottoms were flat but more narrow than the legs themselves, and when the creature moved it did so unsteadily, stumbling in a long and uneven gait; only when it began lurching forward were the shiny metal shackles that prevented it from moving freely visible. An uneven, jagged gash ran both vertically and horizontally against its stretched, yellowing torso, exposing an empty cavern within. The gaping maw where its chest should have been contained only torn cords that looked almost like opaque string or wires, clumped into a knot at the center. Only part of the maw was visible, however; it was largely blocked by the creature’s arms, which were fused both together and to the upper portion of its body, terminating where the hands had fused with the monster’s face at where its mouth should have been located, effectively muting it. In place of functional arms it was flanked on either side by a series of shiny hooks that twitched and writhed. 

A glance upward confirmed for Bonnibel what she expected her vampire guards already knew, that the hooks were not attached to the sides of the creature, but were rather hanging from the top, for at the crown of a humanoid head, a head of indeterminate specie, age, or gender, lay what appeared to be a black wooden board, attached to the body by what looked like an equally black noose. Only when it tottered forward was it possible to see yet more opaque cables connecting the wood to the metal shackles. What drew her attention most, though, was the rare source of red found seared to the monster’s torso, an almost bag-shaped piece of metal that looked disturbingly like silver, with a metallic red line trailing from it up the side, into its neck. Despite its lack of eyes it seemed to notice the Tyrant, whose gaze had taken on a dark delight upon registering it. Hey grin was menacing, all sharp teeth and sadistic intent. “Oh, I remember you.” Her voice was too quiet, too controlled. “Do you remember me?” Grey hands were slowly shifting. “I don’t think you do. I didn’t look like this last time. You know what I looked like?”

What came next happened too quickly for the princess to prevent. 

Before Finn could even land his first blow he became overwhelmed by the unmistakable sense of dread. This time, though, it was stronger, far more suffocating, threatening to choke all that was light and good out of him. Acting on instinct, he turned to his brother. “Jake! We have to move it away from Tyrant!”

Not exactly thrilled with the idea of suffocating due to fear either, the dog nodded to his brother before turning back to the creature. “Come on, ugly!” All it took was one good paw-shaped punch to fully command the leech’s attention, and it followed after the heroes readily. Albeit slowly. So slowly that Jake was able to jog backwards to better insult it. “You know what you remind me of? A poorly dressed pixie. Is that what you want? To spend your life as a poorly dressed pixie?” The response was a scream, and Jake narrowed his eyes. “You make me sick.” 

Another scream as Finn stabbed its side. “Is this what you want to do with your life?! Get stabbed by Ooo’s most awesome heroes?!” 

To the boy’s surprise, the next screech from the monster was one of obvious pain. “Jake! I think it’s a demon!” 

The dog nodded, punching the leech from above. “You hear that, boy?! We know your secret!” He withdrew his paw just in time to avoid the creature’s teeth. “Hey! You don’t see me biting you! ‘Cause, you know, you’re gross!” Another screech of pain as its flesh seared on contact with the demon blood sword. 

“Jake, keep distracting it!” 

“You hear that?! I’m distracting you, and I’m gonna keep doing it! And you’re not gonna do a thing about it because you’re a poobrain!” At that the monster paused, turning its attention now on the younger hero. “Finn, watch out! It’s doing something about it!” 

“Wha-?” He moved just in time to avoid a literal tongue-lashing. “Jake, hold it down!” 

The dog hesitated. 

“JAKE!” 

With great reluctance, he wrapped his paw around the leech. “Oh man, it’s all squishy!”

With a loud shout the boy began to stab the monster’s torso wildly, the wailing cries increasing in volume and intensity, yet it remained alive. “What’s up with this thing?! It won’t-”

When it thrashed in an attempt to bite Jake the elder brother was forced to released his hold. “Anymore ideas, Finn?!”

“As a matter of fact… hold it down again!”

“Man, we tried that!” Nonetheless, Jake once again grabbed the leech, staying clear of its mouth. “Now wha-”

With no warning, the boy ran straight for the purple tongue and, with an even louder shout, pinned it to the ground with the blade. In its desperation it tried to bite its foe, only biting its own tongue off in the process. Strangely, there was no blood, no fluid of any kind, and once the muscle was severed it seemed to disintegrate, freeing the champion’s sword. “Squish it, Jake!” The leech now flattened into submission, Finn climbed onto it, leaping downward to pierce its skull. No sooner had he done so the creature itself fell apart, causing the hero to fall onto his butt. Rather than care about a bruised butt, however, he instead exchanged an elated high five with his brother, complimenting him on his squishing abilities.

Things were not so pleasant for the other half of the party.

Before Bonnibel could react to the monster before them the Tyrant acted for her, shifting back into her void form. Grey flesh became black substance that absorbed all light around it. A fanged smile turned into a nerve-wracking grin full of too-many stark white teeth that stretched to encompass her entire face. Slitted demonic eyes became pinpoints and an unnatural shade of red, impossible to decipher without falling under their hypnotic pull. Calloused hands mutated into powerful claws tipped with impossibly sharp talons. Dark tendrils, hidden in the shadows, emerged from what was once a humanoid back, black bat-like wings following suit, though where they folded into was anyone’s guess. Legs seemed to meld with the void body, becoming impossible to locate. As the atmosphere became vice like the princess almost approached her lover to control her, but was prevented by Marceline, who shook her head slowly, a sign of caution. For perhaps the first time, Bubblegum nodded in recognition, retreating back with her guardians.

Now the monster recognized the Tyrant and began lurching towards her. The vampire responded in kind, rushing at an alarming speed. Perhaps realizing that it was about to be overtaken the creature stopped, instead lashing out with its numerous hooks, sinking them into dark flesh. At that the Tyrant paused, then jerked backwards at the same speed, dragging the monster with her. With a shudder that Bonnibel recognized as a snicker a black claw reached out, sinking into the grey ground. A black substance seeped from the tips of the talons, a shadow that sought out the entrapped creature. Finding its prey the inky element wrapped around the shackles, pulling the monster backwards. Its hooks tore through the void body in the process, but if the Tyrant noticed or cared she gave no indication, shuddering again. Bubblegum frowned disapprovingly.  _ She’s playing with it. This is a game to her.  _ Perhaps sensing her umbrage, Marceline placed her hand on her shoulder once more, squeezing it softly.

The shadow vanished as the errant vampire returned to rushing the monster, which staggered in a poor attempt to right itself. In response the hooks returned to their body only to lash out once more. This time the Tyrant let them, using their force to pull the hapless creature to her. As it lurched forward a claw came out, sinking deep in the chest cavity, wrapping around the opaque cords. Without warning she yanked the strings, eliciting a muffled cry of pain, which only increased in volume with each loud *snap*, each wire breaking slowly, individually. Keeping the monster pinned the other claw reached over towards the headboard. With another shudder it ripped the wood free from the torso, the cry of pain growing louder as the body collapsed, writhing in agony, no longer able to support itself without its guiding piece, which was tossed carelessly to the side, disintegrating upon touching the ground. With her foe now helpless the sadistic half-demon began snapping every hook off, one at a time, just as she did the cords. The muffled sobs of pain only intensified as the monster’s wiggling began to cease.

The hand on Bonnibel’s shoulder squeezed once more as she stared blankly, reminded of the time hundreds of years ago when she first saw her lover’s sadism. When she pulled out the strange voyeur’s wings, bone by bone, tendon by tendon.

Finally finished torturing the creature, the Tyrant lifted it up by its noose, delighting in its choking wail. The other claw trailed a single talon from its neck, down its gaping chest, through its lower abdomen, before stopping at the shackles, which it slowly gripped. At first the intention had been clear: it was going to literally tear the poor monster in half at the neck and legs. Then the void demon stopped and fixated. At first Bonnibel couldn’t tell what she was so focused on, her gaze hard to follow in this particular form, even for someone immune to its charms. After several long moments, though, she realized that it was staring at the metallic red object fused to the creature’s skin, tracing the strange wire connecting it to its nec-

Two large fangs elongated, clamping onto the monster’s neck, through its noose. It took only moments for its thrashing to cease, and once done the Tyrant threw the body to the ground without ceremony, watching as it turned to dust. Only when her victim was truly gone did the vampire drop all pretense returning to her normal form, though her eyes remained slitted, placing the other two queens on edge and in front of the princess. Bubblegum watched her lover, silently counting in her head. Just after ‘drei’ demonic eyes dilated and their owner turned, lowering herself and coughing up a large amount of dark fluid onto the grey ground. “Ugh…” When she straightened she addressed her clearly angry other selves. “Can’t drink blood.” Before they could chastise her for what the flip she just pulled Bonnibel pulled away from them, approaching her girlfriend. At first they stared at one another, then,

“Be honest, Marceline. Did you lose control?”

“...I don’t know.”

“You don’t know because you think you’re in trouble, or you don’t know because you don’t know?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why don’t you know?”

The Tyrant’s expression turned pained. “Bonnibel…”

The princess sighed.  _ She doesn’t know. She can’t lie to me. I can’t treat her otherwise.  _ Shifting gears she cupped the older woman’s cheek. “Thank you for not drinking its blood.”

The smile was strained, the Tyrant visibly unsure where she stood in terms of her good graces. “I know the rules, Bonnibel.” When her reward was a soft kiss on her cheek she relaxed. “I-”

Finn and Jake took that moment to reemerge, out of breath. “That was insane!”

The princess withdrew her hand, focusing now on her champions. “I take it you were successful.” After receiving an affirmative she nodded. “Excellent. Well, let’s go guys. I think I can see the lake from here.” Taking her mate’s hand, she tugged her forward as the heroes exchanged stories with the deposed queens, who once again took the lead. Perhaps the one good aspect of the fight was that it brought them closer to their goal, and it wasn’t long before they stood before the psuedo-Lake Butterscotch. Like the rest of the Grasslands the earth surrounding the lake was brown, black, and crumbling grey, surrounded on all sides by prickly bushes. Those were expected by now. What wasn’t expected was the lake itself, which was the same putrid green sludge as the water in the Cave. Jake wrinkled his nose in disgust, but dared not make a noise, because directly across the lake was Gumbald’s Cabin and vampires had such good hearing. 

The Unifier turned to Marceline, speaking quietly. “Go check it out. We need to know if she’s there.” With a nod, the mid-strength rockstar vanished, leaving five sets of eyes to stare across the lake awkwardly. 

The Unifier kept her tone hushed. “Alright. Weapon check. Finn?”

“Demon blood sword present.”

“Bubblegum?”

The princess clutched the spot in her messenger bag the dagger resided in.

“Ready.”

“Tyrant?”

“Yup, ready to beat her butt.”

“Jake?”

“Stake. Yup. Just a stake.”  _ And a whole mess of silver chunks. Imma hit her in the eye. Good plan, Jake. Thanks, Jake. _

No sooner had the weapon check been completed Marceline reappeared in front of them, keeping her voice down. “She’s there. Our best bet is to fight her inside the cabin. There’s too much space out here, who knows what she could turn into.” The Unifier nodded her agreement before turning to the others.

“Alright guys. Let’s do this.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Dead:
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Dead:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	13. The Best Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: So this chapter is pretty dark, and Rehearsal wasn't exactly full of goodness and sunshine to begin with. We're also now roughly half-way through the story, but I still won't be declaring exactly how many chapters are left because I don't want to write myself into a corner. Depending on reader reaction to this chapter I may be adding an extra to what I already have planned out, so we'll see how it goes.
> 
> As always, thank you guys SO much for reading my work, especially for those of you who make it a point to give me comments, bookmarks, and kudos. It makes me really proud to know something I do is making others happy. I'll do my best to continue to produce an enjoyable story for you.
> 
> Now I need to go write something fluffy.
> 
> Disclaimer: CwT really does like Bonnie, despite what she keeps doing to her.
> 
> Content warnings:
> 
> Graphic violence  
> Psychological torture  
> Description of vomiting  
> Suicide by proxy  
> Fatality

 

Despite the Unifier’s declaration that now was the time to strike no one moved forward. Or, more accurately, the Tyrant had stopped everyone from moving forward, arm and axe extended in front of the group in a silent indicator to stay where they were. From her spot across the putrid lake and the littered metal components on its shore she watched the cabin intently, not blinking, not even glancing to her friends. Her attention was engrossed on that one building, that non-structure that would be the Usurper’s tomb. Even the Unifier must have sensed the severity of her stronger self’s focus, because she only exchanged a glance with Marceline, a silent way of asking if she had any idea what their counterpart was up to. The answer was a hapless shrug. Fortunately, the Tyrant herself broke the silence, albeit quietly. “Something’s wrong.” 

Marceline matched her hushed tone. “What do you mean?”

The Baddie’s freehand twitched, betraying her apprehension. “She has to sense us by now, but she’s over there, just waiting for us to come to her. Doesn’t that seem weird to you?”

Now that she thought about it, Marceline saw her point. The Usurper was an impatient woman, far too trigger happy to sit idly by when she knew that her enemies were nearby, even if it was unlikely that she knew how close or exactly where they were. She would have had to know that they would follow her to the semi-cabin, and that it would be safe to assume they’d bring the Tyrant with them. Even more concerning, Marceline’s scouting had indicated that she was outside of the cabin, lounging on the roof of all places, entirely exposed and in no way attempting to conceal herself. Finn and Jake, the experienced adventurers that they were, seemed to catch on to their friend’s point immediately. “Tyrant-bro’s right. This is way too easy. Bad guys never make it this easy without being up to something less than righteous. Especially since she knows that it’s her, the Unifier, Marceline, two amazing heroes, and-”

Then it hit him.

“Dude. That’s it.” All eyes turned to Finn. “PB is with us.”

Now the princess caught on to his train of thought, regarding the Tyrant from the corner of her eye before returning her sight to the cabin. “She’s anticipating using me to weaken you. The question is how exactly.” Now her attention was turned to the two remaining vampires, the two that were not bound, gagged, and indisposed for possibly years, and thus far more aware of the mindscape around them. “We know she’s violent and has an unquestionable grudge against me. We know she’s all-too proud of her ability to shapeshift nearly instantaneously, and that she’s the worst kind of mercurial. What else can you tell us about her?” 

Marceline raised an eyebrow. “You mean besides the fact she’s an unstable psychopath?” It had been a poor attempt to lighten the air of tension, and she knew it fell flat the moment it left her mouth. At least she had the good nature to look chaste about it.

Bonnibel was unamused. “Yes, Marceline. What exactly do you mean by ‘unstable’? You know that details as vital as those often mean the difference between life and death,” she turned towards the Unifier, whose mouth was already opening, “or true death.” The aforementioned vampire grumbled in dissatisfaction that her clever retort had been thwarted, deciding it best to cooperate with Bubblegum’s line of questioning. She wasn’t exactly wrong, and both she and Marceline knew it. 

“Well, don’t get me wrong. She’s mondo unhinged, but…” Her attention turned towards the Unifier, inviting her to take over. 

The vessel-vampire shrugged half-heartedly. “She’s pretty impulsive, but she can scheme. When we first got here we thought, ‘hey, it’s like a video game, she’s erratic so how smart can she really be?’ The answer is ‘very’, and it wouldn’t be a bad guess that she’s up to something. Like I said when we first went after her, she loves mind games just as much as she loves just straight-up ganking.” 

The Tyrant sighed. “She’s a sadist. That’s the word you’re looking for. She’s a sadist who loves playing with her prey. Which in this case is us. Or, you know, everyone in this group that isn’t me or Bonnibel. Obvs.” 

Now Bubblegum was beginning to understand the ploy. “She’s expecting me to be a handicap.” 

Finn blinked. “Oh, I get it. Hey,” he glanced to the Tyrant. “Think it’s better if Peebs stays back here? You know, out of sight out of mind?”  _ Maybe she’ll forget about her if we can distract her enough. _

Before she could respond Jake shook his head. “Nah, man. Usurper wants that.” When his brother looked unconvinced he shrugged. “Think about it. She can fly, dude. And if she’s a smarty she’s gonna guess the princess is out here, otherwise Tyrant would be rushing into a fight just as fast as she is. If she doesn’t see Bubblegum she’s gonna go look for her, and you know how stupid fast she is.”

Before Bonnibel could argue the Tyrant responded for her. “I agree. I want Bonnibel where I can keep an eye on her.” Her tone took on a gentle edge when she turned to her lover. “No offense, Bonnibel. I know you’re pretty good at hand to hand if you need to be, but you’re way too important to risk to her madness.” 

The younger monarch’s expression softened. “I understand, Marcy, but-” 

Not wanting to risk a direct command otherwise the strongest vampire turned to the Unifier and Marceline. “Alright, here’s how we’re doing this. You,” she pointed to the Unifier, “stay in the back with Bonnibel. For some flippin’ reason she still wants us whole, so I gotta keep you alive. I can’t do that if you’re wandering into battle where the cool kids are.” The weakest vampire grumbled, but didn’t argue the point. Satisfied, the Tyrant looked to Marceline. “You’re mid-ground. Stay between us,” she indicated Finn and Jake, “and them,” not bothering to point to the Unifier and Bubblegum. “Whichever way it gets ugly, go that way.” Marceline’s response was a sarcastic salute, which was promptly ignored. “Alright, hero boys. You’re with me when we go make our esteemed selves known to the mad-woman who calls herself a part of me. If we can get her into the cabin we should definitely do that thing, but if we can’t don’t sweat your energy over it.” 

Finn scratched his chin. “If we can’t get her indoors what’s the best way to take her out?” 

With a frown the Tyrant began to scan the area as if searching for something. Whatever it was she didn’t find it, so she returned to the topic at hand. “We’re way out in the open, so there’s lots of room for her to shapeshift. Keep her in her normal form as long as you can. It’ll be a lot easier for me to rip her head off if I’m a void demon and she’s still a squishy vampire.” The boy tried not to think about the implications of that statement. “If you give her the chance she’ll bonk up your mind, so she’s going to use that to mess you up.” 

He arched an eyebrow. “Mentally or physically?” 

She nodded. “Yes. And both of you, try to stay out of my way so you don’t freak out or whatevs.”

After a quick survey of the group to assess their preparedness the Tyrant frowned, but nodded. “Alright. Let’s kick her butt.” Motioning for her friends to follow she flew ahead in the direction of the cabin, Finn riding on Jake not far behind. Marceline waited several moments before indicating that the remaining duo should follow her. While she kept an eye on the upcoming fight she kept an ear on the two benched immortals. 

“I thought she wasn’t allowed to fly?” 

To her surprise, the Unifier answered for the princess in the form of a mutter. “It’s a fight. Rules are different. ‘Sides, you know Bubblegum’s safety trumps literally everything else.” Choosing to ignore the snide tone and not the inarguable logic, Marceline floated backwards to better talk to the scientist. 

“You still have your dagger?” The younger woman resisted the urge to snap at her estranged-lover only through the realization that she was indeed asking a question, not making a statement of judgment. She nodded, tapping her bag twice. 

“Yeah. What-” 

An undead hand was lifted as its owner landed. “We’re here. Keep low and keep quiet. I’m going to watch from the midway. You won’t see me, but I’ll be watching out for you.”

With that Marceline vanished, leaving the romantic parties most-at-war to their own devices. Deciding to take her request to ‘keep low’ literally, the Unifier pulled the candy golem down to the ground with her. “Come on, Bubblegum.” She had meant for it to come out as a snap, but all at once she was too emotionally fatigued to put her undead heart into it.

Bonnibel got the message anyway and glared at her before allowing her own fatigue to catch up with her as well. Her tone was acrid, her posture tense, despite their cramped and hunched position. Later she would claim she tried to be otherwise, but that would be a lie and everyone involved would know it. “Marceline, I don’t want us to spend the rest of literally forever fighting with one another.”

“Shouldn’t have kept the flippin’ dagger then.”

“I told you I’m sorry-”

“Yeah, so you keep saying.”

Green eyes narrowed. “And what does that mean?”

No longer able to look at her once-girlfriend, the vampire lowered her eyes to the earth. “I don’t think you really know what it means to apologize. Since, you know, you never do it. You just wait for me to make it better. I shouldn’t be the one that always has to make up with you.”

A pink hand tightened to a fist. Without meaning to, Bonnibel’s bitter tone mixed with her intellectual frustration at having been told what she did and did not know. “To apologize means that an individual has reflected upon a previous action and found it to be-”

The Unifier groaned. “See, that’s what I mean. Not everything is science words.”

“...Science words.”

She offered her own glare. “Come  _ on _ , Bubblegum. Even when you say you’re sorry it’s all about you.” A steadying breath was taken before the queen continued, her voice now hushed. “You said you’re sorry, but the moment the Tyrant shows up you just lumpin’ left us hanging to go cling to her. It’s messed up.”

The princess took her own steadying breath.  _ She’s… not entirely wrong.  _ But she didn’t say that part. “You two have been nothing but combative, whereas she was willing to listen to my explanation. That was all I asked of you-”

The Unifier’s fist hit the ground hard enough to leave a crack. “ _ Seriously _ , Bubblegum? All you do is ask things of me! You couldn’t even give me time to figure this junk out!”

Not wanting to give away their position, the princess’s voice became a hiss. “Because you refused to be reasonable! You just made a snap decision based on emotion without even considering logic!” Her own voice dropped into something far more aggressive. “You were perfectly content to kick me out of your mind so you could stew in your own emotional turmoil. I’m trying to help  _ relieve  _ that emotional turmoil.”

“Yeah? Or are you trying to relieve yours? ‘Cause I don’t recall you asking me how you could help-”

“Would you have told me?” Neither were sure if that was a sincere question or not. “I told you, Marceline, I’m sorry. I truly am. What I did was inexcusable. All I asked for was the opportunity-”

The aggression dropped from the Unifier’s voice, becoming something more sullen. “You wanted another chance, yeah. I get that. But without the Tyrant in me I can see how many ‘another chances’ we’ve given you without even knowing we were doing it. It’s true that you’ve never apologized before. I dig that. But you know? Everything else you’re doing, your ‘I’m being logical’ Percy, your obsession with being the one who has the last word… I don’t think another chance will do anything except show you that you can twist me around your little finger. That… even if you do something this bunked up I’ll still do what you want when everything’s settled.”

Bonnibel’s expression dropped.  _ She’s wrong. Isn’t she?  _ In truth, though, she wasn’t entirely sure she was.  _ On the one hand, things would be so much easier for me if she just forgave me and got it over-  _ She sighed mentally, not letting the emotion reach her eyes.  _...I did it again. I framed everything in terms of my desired course of actions. Not her’s. Can I truly argue with certainty that her forgiving me wouldn’t reinforce my previous behavior?  _ Deep down, she knew the answer was ‘no’.  _ Given enough time… would I have abandoned the others in favor of the Tyrant? My original intention was to begin the recovery process with her, but…  _ Falling to silence and unable to look at the half-demon, the princess turned to watch the three as they finally arrived at the cabin.

While the royals were having their heartfelt conversation, and not exactly far away, Finn, Jake, and the Tyrant had approached the soon-to-be warzone in silence. They found the Usurper laying - actually laying - on the roof of the cabin, singing softly to herself in a language unrecognized by the heroes. Her eyes were closed, her head rested on the arm crooked behind her head, the other wrapped around her companion base that lay across her. Finn smirked when he realized that she had been unable - or unwilling - to repair the coat after he had sliced her arm off, and it was without a sleeve. Just as in the castle, the Usurper refused to recognize her visitors until her song was finished. When she finally ceased Finn quietly drew his sword, prompting Jake to grab his stake. Once more a slitted, demonic eye slid open, observing her unwitting audience. This time, however, her admonishment at their lack of applause was stopped short when she recognized who the new addition to the group was. Fully awake now, she floated herself in an upright position, leaning against her bass. Although she was obviously attempting to remain calm her eyes briefly dilated, betraying her excitement.

After a pregnant pause she let out an exaggerated groan, fingers drumming rapidly on her bass’s staff. “Finally! Man, it took you dinks long enough to get here. But you brought me a present, so I forgive you!” She wriggled her fingers at the Tyrant, her smile full of derision. “Look at you, standing on your hind legs like a well-trained tool! Your owner must be very proud. Speaking of her…” She shifted her focus behind the frontliners, knowing that Bonnibel had to be nearby. It didn’t take long for her to spot her quarry, and she waved over-enthusiastically. “Bonnie! Runt! How-”

The Tyrant was not in the mood for games. “I’m going to kill you quickly, Usurper. It’s more than you deserve, but I’m done with you.”

Black eyebrows shot up. “Done with  _ me _ ? What did  _ I  _ do?”

“You-”

“Oh. Right. Killing what’s-her-name. And I guess you’re pretty peeved that I attacked your owner, huh?” She regarded the other Baddie with pity. “But you know, she started it.”

“No-”

“I mean, there I was, minding my own business, and she attacked me! With her dagger and everything-”

“I’m not playing this game, Usurper!,” the Tyrant growled. “No one here cares about anything you have to say.”

The elation abruptly dropped to impassivity. “Oh. Let me guess. You and the weenies want to gank me and give my piece of the soul to the runt there. Then you’re going to visit the twins, maybe force them to open a portal to the wad, save you a couple of days journey. Or maybe you’ll just gank them, too. Just put us all in a bowl, mix us together until we’re whole, then bring us back to Ooo.” She scanned the crowd, but no one sought to contradict her. “Well, I agree with you on one thing: going back to Ooo is a pretty rad idea. The problem, though, is I can’t do that until you guys stop doing that whole ‘living’ thing.” Now she was smiling. “So, counter offer. I kill all of you and go back myself!” When the Tyrant looked unamused she frowned. “It’s a great plan!”

The other vampire looked displeased. “It’s literally the worst idea I’ve ever heard.” Jake hooked his thumb to the Tyrant, indicating his agreement.

“Nah, it’ll totes rule! Dad and Bonnie had such high expectations of us. Don’t you want to live up to that?”

The Tyrant’s response didn’t come in the form of an argument, or speech of any kind. Her response was in the choking air of dread that threatened to suffocate enemy and ally alike. It was in the way she had already begun her assault even before her shapeshift was complete, how she had crossed half the distance to the Usurper before grey skin became black flesh, before limbs extended and appendages were born, even before the unsettling grin in red eyes graced her features. By the time the madwoman realized what had happened she was within striking distance of the void demon, and her axe rose to meet the other woman’s claw, deflecting it before it could rip off the Usurper’s head. Finn, not far behind, counted his blessings that his friend was so difficult* to actually harm in this form. By the time he and his brother joined the fray both half-demons were engrossed in one another, the Usurper’s axe only narrowly missing the Tyrant’s head as it was brought full-force down on the roof, crushing and splintering the wood. Finn found himself smirking at the psychopath’s bothered expression.

“Jake! We have to get her inside!”

“On it, buddy!” As Jake made his way to the roof to see what aid he could give the void demon Finn rounded the house, making for the door. Now the fight had become 2 vs 1, as the Tyrant and the elder brother fought off the literal embodiment of Marceline’s embodiment of rage. Both Baddies were exchanging almost blow for blow, an axe blade making contact with a black arm moments before a black claw raked against a soft torso, tearing the coat even further. Not wanting to risk being caught in the crossfire the hero made himself useful by disrupting the Usurper’s attacks and movements, preventing her from shapeshifting or leaving the cabin’s roof battleground. When a slitted eye turned to him it was enough of a misdirection for the Tyrant to crash into her, unbalancing her and forcing her to land. In retaliation the Usurper disappeared, grabbing and throwing Jake at the other vampire to upset her concentration. It worked; with the Tyrant obstructed by the sudden dog projectile she had left herself open and, with a smug grin, the Usurper shifted her previously-severed arm into a black scythe, slicing across the other vampire’s and destroying several tendrils in the process. Then the dance began anew, with Jake getting in the Baddie’s way as much possible without getting himself killed, the Usurper turning the fight into a rather effective war of attrition, and the Tyrant adopting an attack-and-recede strategy, also rather effectively.

While the psychotic vampire found the Tyrant’s refusal to die annoying, and the dog’s attempts to restrain her through his own version of shapeshifting pitiful, the arduous and unbalanced fight was worth it when Finn reached the front door, the despair reaching his eyes as he began to understand the futility of his situation. “You getting it now, hero boy? How dumb do you think I am?” The champion clenched his sword in frustration as he rounded the cabin to confirm what he already knew to be true. Evidently the Usurper had been busy, because every entrance to the cabin, every door and window, was obstructed. The door was coated in the same black and pink razor wire that shielded Bubblegum’s room in the faux Candy Kingdom castle, still thicker than his arm with points that could easily slice through any fool that wandered too close. While Finn was confident that any of the vampires could simply heal through it he knew he possessed no such capability and moved away to double-check the windows, which were also blocked, this time by thick metal plates, beset on each side by huge black metal bolts-  _...Those are the same plates as Marce’s house. But when did she…? _

When the Usurper kicked Jake off of the roof, blocking the Tyrant’s claw with her axe in the process, she grinned at Finn. “Dude, I got here  _ way  _ before you losers showed up. I had lots of time on my hands to think of new and exciting ways to murder you. You think I’m dumb enough to let you throw me in Bonnie’s Happy Funtime House of Horrors? Nah guy.  _ I’m  _ the only horrorshow you need.”

Before she could add more she was once again assaulted by the other homicidal being of destruction in the fight, narrowly avoiding the Tyrant’s claw, but not missing her tendril slamming into her side with a sickening *crack*. “It wouldn’t react to you like that if you weren’t such a jerkwad!” 

The Usurper winced, winded for only a moment before returning fire. “Are you seriously blaming  _ me  _ for the Happy Horror Funtime House?”  _ Horror Funtime House? The Marcelines didn’t mention that…  _ Finn’s eyes darted to the lake shore.  _ Huh. I wonder if that’s where the metal came from.  _ As the maniac’s attention began to focus on the other queen the younger hero gripped his sword tighter, trying to climb to the roof as quietly as possible.

She saw the sword in enough time to avoid it piercing her, but not enough time to throw her off her balance, giving the Tyrant time to rip her axe away. With a snarl she righted herself, kicking Jake into the enemy vampire with enough force to kick them both off of the roof. With a glare she grabbed the boy by his metal arm, shoving the demon blood sword off of the roof where it could do no further harm, Finn’s bag sliding off with it. It landed on the cabin’s side, and Finn was relieved to see it had missed the putrid lake waters entirely. Clearly, the goal hadn’t been to destroy the weapon, only to clear it from the Usurper’s presence. But now Finn was in the psychopath’s grasp - literally - and she looked just a bit miffed that he had tried twice now to cut off her limbs. With a self-satisfied grin she held him off the room, before both of her opponents. “Knock it off or Finnley goes in the water. Wonder what that’d do to a squishy mere mortal? Now’s a good time to find out.” Grin not wavering, she shifted her expression to Bonnibel. “And here we are again. You know, I’m almost-”

“I got you, buddy!”  _ You got this, Jake!  _ Never taking his eyes off of his brother and the Usurper the older hero turned his fur-pocket out, dumping its contents onto the ground, bypassing the stake entirely in search for a more important prize: the shards of silver recovered the Tyrant’s cage. With a smirk the dog scooped up as many as possible in a comically oversized paw, jiggling them for a moment to gauge their number, size, and weight. He knew exactly where to aim. “Hey, Usurper! Or should I say, Dillweed! ‘Cause that’s your new name!” Still gripping Finn’s arm she rolled her eyes, turning to address the boy’s brother. 

“Look, kid, you’re bothering me-” By the time she turned it was too late; the chunks of metal had been hurled with alarming speed straight at the vampire, and Jake knew he hit his mark when she released an inhuman screech of pain, her right hand coming up to cover her eye as a thick stream of dark blood trickled down. “You BUTTNUGGET! Do you know how long that’s going to take me to regrow?!” Small burns riddled her bare right arm, the stench unmistakable but she had reflexively clamped tighter onto the younger hero’s arm. Jake’s mental victory dance was cut short when her left eye burning with rage, was turned on Finn, her voice frenetic. Her fangs were bared in palpable rage. “An eye for an eye, right kid?!”

With a cackle her left arm shifted, enlarging and becoming furred in black and tipped with sharp, yellow claws, claws that pierced into the metal arm, crushing it in its grip. “So here’s the question of the hour: was Bonnie stupid enough to attach your arm at the nerves?” He understood what was about to happen too late to stop it; never loosening her grip on his arm she kicked Finn away from her, foot pressing against his side. Immediately two different sources of pain overwhelmed the boy hero, as he felt the ribs on his right give too much way, heard who knew how many snap from the force of the striking foot. The wind was knocked out of him and the moment his body collided with the ground he wheezed, turning to cough up what he hoped wasn’t too much blood; he could feel it trickle out of his mouth, flowing freely from some unknown location, but he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t take in air enough to focus on anything other than the other, somehow even greater pain, because it seemed that the Usurper’s suspicion was correct, and Bubblegum had attached his arm at the nerve endings to better allow him to control its digits and functions.

The pain was indescribable. He was conscious but unable to see, the agony having blinded him. All he knew was blackness, all he could feel was helpless as his panic began to set in, because while Finn was accustomed to the occupational hazards that came with his station as a hero this was an experience unlike any other, and he had to know how bad the damage was, but thought escaped him. He could only feel as every nerve screamed at having been severed and he could only think about how much trouble the Tyrant had had healing nerve damage, so what hope was there for him? And he realized then that he had been making some noise, something strangled, a hybrid between frustration and suffering, and he could hear nothing else, could not tell where his friends were, or his brother, or his arm. He tried to roll onto his stomach, to push himself up, but that was horrible as well. True helplessness was not something Finn was used to, nor was failing his loved ones, and this was both. 

Without looking to confirm the Usurper knew that Jake would abandon his post to check on his younger brother because she knew the dog was more sentimental than he liked to portray. That much was obvious to the remaining members of the group, who, to her amusement, didn’t take her eyes off of her for a moment when she threw the boy away. As she watched the dog leave the scene the Usurper gingerly held the severed arm, so very pleased that she could finally return the favor. Unlike her previous injury, however, his was not so neat and clean. In all honesty, the Usurper had been hoping that her pulling his arm and pushing his body would result in him losing the limb at the fleshy shoulder, and she was almost disappointed when the metal attachment gave way first. Still, she was pleased to see that the injury was in no way neat or clean, and that the metal had given-way almost mid-point. She wasn’t Bonnibel, but even she could hazard to guess that reattachment would be painful and arduous - if he lived that long. Behind her the Tyrant was shuddering in a snicker, seeing her other self half-blind and poorly concealing how much pain she was in. By now her bleeding had stopped, but she suspected it was less out of her ability to heal and more likely because the silver had yet to be ejected from the psychopath, and she continued to cover her eye in obvious torment. The other Baddie took it as a moral victory.

But then why was she grinning?

The Usurper laughed as she turned abruptly, throwing the metal arm at Jake, cheering when it hit him head-on, the heavy metal colliding with a less-heavy skull to make a nauseating *plunk*, followed by the dog’s body collapsing where it stood. The Baddie looked elated and turned back to the others. “You guys see that?! That was awesome!” The grin didn’t fade. “Hey Jake! You alive, guy?!” When he failed to respond she cheered again. “Whoop! Man, that felt great! Ah, well, back to work. Too many breaks and you lose your edge, you know?” Without warning she disappeared and the Tyrant immediately readied her claws and her shadow, anticipating her opponent finally dropping all pretense and attacking her head on. After all, this fight was ultimately between the two titans and the Usurper would have no choice but to focus her attention on her now; Finn and Jake were too injured to be a threat, Bonnibel was safely with Marceline who had orders to protect her ‘the most equally’, which only left-

The Tyrant realized too late what the Usurper’s plan truly was, and by the time she reacted the deep purple tentacle was wrapped around the Unifier’s throat, her body dragged back to the madwoman before being hauled into the air, where the Baddie resumed visibility. There she hovered, one thick appendage wrapped around the vessel’s throat, the other a black sickle aimed in the thin space between the tentacle and her chin. Were the Unifier a living woman she would have suffocated, yet even without such a hindrance the rope was taut around her neck, threatening to snap it; it would only take one small jerk, one slip. Noticing the Tyrant lashing her claws from her indescript void her attention immediately shifted to Bonnibel, whose stomach soured when she realized that the lobbed piece of silver had embedded itself in the Usurper’s right eyesocket. “Ah ah ah… I’d be careful if I were you. Wouldn’t want me to slip, amirite?” The taunt left her voice, leaving it flat. “Call her off, Bonnie.” It was neither a request nor a statement, it was unequivocally a demand, a command, a humiliation.  _ Marceline always did know me best. It makes sense that she’d know how to get under my skin.  _

With great reluctance, and through gritted teeth, “Stay here.”  _ I’ll find a different way to end this.  _ Never one to refuse a direct command - even one as ludicrous as being told to stand down - the Tyrant returned to standing besides her princess, resuming her true form.

The jovial tone returned. “See? Aren’t things better when you cooperate?” A chuckle. “Of course they are. Now then!” She turned towards Marceline. “You wanna make yourself useful? Finn’s bag is over here. It’s the green thing. Yup, there you go. Come over and turn it out for me.” 

Marceline narrowed her eyes at her. “Why?” 

The response was the Unifier’s choking gasp and the Usurper *tsk*. “You’re not really in a place to ask questions, you know?” Her eyes flashed dangerously. “Now come over here and turn his bag inside out.” When the vampire turned to get confirmation from Bubblegum the Usurper let out a sharp whistle. “Hey! She’s not in charge of this demonstration! Look, me, I don’t want to beat a dead Percy here, but the woman with the scythe is kind of the boss right now. Now get our perfect butt over here before my arm slips and we have ourselves a fatality. Bass on your back, unless you want to play me some theme music.” Now the dangerous glint was almost childlike. “Oh! That’ll be my next thing. Theme music.” 

With a clenched jaw Marceline strapped her axe to her back and flew over slowly, keeping her hands visible. “You know, that’s a cliche, too.” The Usurper snorted sarcastically, but otherwise failed to acknowledge the assertion. Her smile was a perfect mix of self-assertion and cruelty.

When she reached the fallen hero’s bag she eyed the Unifier closely, trying to identify any opening, any opportunity to separate her two components. Instead she only found the Usurper’s smug grin. With a bite of her cheek and a mental apology to Finn Marceline obeyed, flipping the backpack over and allowing its contents to spill freely on the floor. 

Immediately the lunatic began scanning the displaced items, no longer even caring to look at Marceline. “Cool, you can go back now. I’m done with you.” Once again the previously-strongest half-demon looked to Bubblegum for guidance, but found only frustration and anguish. With a frown the older woman returned to her, but by the time she did so the Usurper was once again regarding the trio. “You know, Bonnie, I thought I taught you a lesson. You know, when I ripped what’s-her-name’s head off. Remember that?” She snickered. “Good times. Aaaanyway, like I was saying. I thought I taught you a lesson, but my bad, I forgot the great Princess Bubblegum doesn’t learn lessons.” Before the princess could question her the vampire continued. 

“Finn’s bag has a lot of neat things in it. Like towels. And a notebook. And a pen. And a flashlight. And binoculars. And-”

Bonnibel’s eyes narrowed, the animosity in her expression and posture unmistakable. “What’s your point, Marceline?”

Now the taunting voice abruptly turned to rage, the tentacle tightening just enough to elicit another choked sigh. “THAT’S NOT MY NAME!” And yet again her tone changed just as quickly, becoming blank as the tentacle returned its previous position. “That’s not my name anymore, Bonnie. I have a new name now. One you haven’t touched. One my father hasn’t tainted. A name that hasn’t been defiled by the people in my life that tried to control me.” The childlike smile returned. “But! Your question deserves an answer, even if it was less of a question and more of a statement. Really, you should learn not to do that anymore, filthy habit.” The scientist stared impassively and the psychopath shrugged. “What was I saying? Oh, right! Finn’s backpack has some neat stuff in it, but it _doesn’t_ have your dagger. So my guess is that you have it in _your_ bag. Am I right?” The smirk returned. “See, ‘cause if I am, that means you didn’t learn a flippin’ thing.” Pink fingers unconsciously tightened around a brown messenger bag and the Usurper shook her head sadly. “Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie… you really don’t listen to anyone but you, do you? You know your transgression, and you looked so sad when I did the thing with destroying your home and all, but you’re still not _learning_. But I think I see the problem now: you’re surrounded by enablers. You’ve got your two bodyguards, your thrall, your lover-girl, and… this mess,” she gave the trapped throat a quick squeeze, extorting another choked gasp. “Am I the first person in your life to tell you ‘no’?” Her eyes lit up in wonder. “What an honor! Don’t worry, Bonnie, I’ll make you proud.” Candy teeth ground, grey hands tightening around an axe. If the Usurper noticed she didn’t seem to care.

“You know, I heard a story once. From Jake.” She turned her head to the dog, bringing the sickle closer to the grey neck in her arms in a silent warning not to try anything stupid. “Hey Jake! Remember the story?” When he didn’t respond - or move - she tilted her head, sounding like a poor approximation of being concerned. “Jake?” When he still failed to acknowledge her she dropped the illusion of caring. “Ah, it’s fine, I’ll catch ya later.” Her attention returned to her captive audience and their collective glare. She shrugged, punctuating her dismissal of Jake’s serious injury with a sage nod. “He’ll be fine. Or he’ll be dead. The important thing is that we’ll know.” The Tyrant seriously considered charging her then and there, but her princess’s command that she stay and not attack was too ingrained, and she found herself willing but unable to move. In her frustration she attempted to bite her cheek before she found herself incapable of doing that as well, leaving her with no outlet for her temper. The Usurper looked far too pleased with herself, and it was causing the other titan physical pain to watch her play her sadistic games and be powerless to stop her.

“Anyway, back to the story. So, one day the Lich breaks out of prison and he almost kills dear sweet Princess Bubblegum. Now, the princess doesn’t deal well with losses of control and humiliation, so she decides that her totally reasonable and not at all crazy response would be to create a candy sphinx using a bunch of junk and her DNA.” Her head tilted. “Which… I mean, you’d think by now you’d know not to use your DNA in your creations. It always goes bonkers. Everytime.” She snorted, “And you say  _ I  _ can’t be taught. Anyway!,” she sang. “She creates a candy sphinx to rule if she bites it, and she names this thing ‘Goliad’. Then she puts her gallant champions in charge of teaching this thing how to be a good ruler, probably because she realized, deep down-ways, that she herself is terrible at it.” When the younger woman flushed in ire the Usurper laughed at her. “I’m just saying, if you were an effective ruler your candy citizens - who were supposed to love you  _ by your own design -  _ wouldn’t have removed you in an elec-”

“MONARCHIES. ARE. NOT. DEMOCRACIES.”

A smirk. “Then I guess the Candy Kingdom isn’t a monarchy anymore,” she snickered. “Now who’s the Usurper?” She paused, as if expecting an answer, looking almost disappointed when none was offered. “It’s me, by the way. Was that clear? It was? Natch. Anyway!,” she sang once more. “So this candy sphinx, she’s pretty bonkers herself. Easily suggestible too. And with mind-control powers! Seriously, what’s up with you and that kind of biz? I mean, remember that time you-”

Once again, Bonnibel flushed. “Get to the point, Usurper!”

She sighed. “Man, you’re throwing me off my groove. But I like this story anyways, so yeah. Now, this candy sphinx - Goliad, was it? - gets in her mind that the best way to rule is a ‘might makes right’ kind of dealio. Which, yeah, she has a point. But that’s not my point, because I think I’ve made that pretty clear. My point is she told you guys something, and when Jake told  _ me  _ what she told  _ you  _ it made me think “woah man, she’s on to something.’ Do you know what it was?” When that failed to garner a response she rolled her eyes. “Tell me if this sounds familiar. You try to convince her that a bee cared for a flower and got what she wanted by making the flower feel good. Then - and this is the good part - Goliad tries to convince you that you’ve got it all wrong, that the bee would get what she wants even if it killed the flower. I think she described it as the bee being stronger than the flower, and that she was stronger than the bee?” When she wasn’t corrected she nodded. “So, I’m gonna put this in words we can all understand. You,” the tip of the tentacle pointed to the Tyrant, “are the flower. You,” now it was directed at the princess, “are the bee. Me? I’m the thing stronger than both the flower and the bee.” The sweet smile returned. “See? Wasn’t that an easy to understand helpful description of the situation you find yourselves in? Are you finally starting to realize that I’m just not something you can win against because you’re not even on my level?

“Now, back to our main attraction.” In any other circumstance her smile could have been described as affectionate. “Bonnie, you don’t learn lessons. But that’s okay, it’s not your fault. You haven’t been properly motivated. The key to teaching any beast is to find the proper motivator.” The smile no longer reached her eyes. “What was my motivator? I’m asking for a friend,” she nodded towards the Tyrant. “How did you train part of me to become  _ that _ ?” It took the princess a moment to realize that she was being asked a genuine question, and a moment too long to realize that she had unconsciously adopted her Most Diplomatic Voice. 

“Mar- ...Usurper, I didn’t  _ train  _ you. I…” How could she explain what she did when she was only now, within the past two days, beginning to come to terms with it herself? To her credit the fiend didn’t interrupt her as she struggled to come to terms with her historical behavior. “...I know I’ve hurt you. I didn’t mean-” A single garnet eye narrowed at her, a challenge that even she recognized. “...I did mean what I did to you. I didn’t think about the consequences-” But that was a lie as well.  _ Is it really such second nature to me now?  _ “I did mean what I did to you. I did think about the consequences. I didn’t care. I’m sorry.” 

Her smirk never wavered. “Pretty words for a pretty liar. I don’t want your apology, Bonnie.”

Something deep within the princess began to snap. “Well, what  _ do  _ you want, then? I thought I was the one you wanted to kill.”

The Usurper’s look of shock seemed genuine. “ _ Kill  _ you? No, meine Geliebte, that’s literally the last thing I want.” The shock gave way to a menacing beam. “No. I want you to  _ suffer _ . I want you to suffer like you’ve made  _ me  _ suffer for these last five centuries.” The expression turned thoughtful. “Six centuries? Eh, doesn’t matter. You get the idea. The biggest take-away is that I want to see the light go out in your eyes.” Whatever she was about to say next was interrupted by the Unifier’s sharp intake of breath. Evidently she managed to inch a word out, because the Usurper’s attention was briefly drawn away from the princess and to her captive the tentacle’s tip emerging to stroke her cheek as she whispered patronizingly, “Shh… Don’t worry. You’re going to help me! It’s going to suck for you, but hey, what’s love without a few injuries?” The tentacle tip patted her cheek before she returned her consideration to her congregation. “You know, Tyrant, I admire your restraint. You really,  _ really  _ wanna rip my head off, but your mistress here told you to stay put. And look at you being so literal! It’s too bad you have to die.” At that she paused, tilting her head once more in deep thought. “No. Wait. That’s the opposite. It’s  _ good  _ that you have to die!” Now she looked between the other Baddie and her prisoner. “Well, one of you at least.”

The frightening grin returned the same time her attention returned to Bonnibel. “Quick question for you, Bonnie. Do you like to play games? What am I saying? Of course you do! After all…” her voice turned into a growl as her eye slitted and narrowed. “You’ve been playing mindgames with me for five hundred years.” Once again, the expression became thoughtful. “Six hundred? Eh, doesn’t matter. You get the idea.” Her voice became syrupy sweet, a tone all three vampires recognized as the same tone Bubblegum herself used when Whole Marceline found herself ensnared in a trap. It made sugary blood run cold and the princess repressed a shudder.  _ Is everything she’s doing because of me?  _

“Usur-”

“Here, let me introduce the players,” her gaze turned to the hostage in her arms. “First up is this pathetic runt, better known as the Unifier. She doesn’t do much, but I guess she’s supposed to gank me and eat my soul? Sounds like a mooch if you ask me. But if the legends are true she’s the only one of us who can suck souls. Can either of you?” Once again, she seemed to be asking her other selves a question, but they only continued to glare back. “Nah, didn’t think so. So she can fly and suck and that’s about it.” The tentacle stroked her cheek as the Usurper next regarded her fellow Baddie. “There’s player number two. She’s way mondo strong and can turn into this righteous void thing, which makes her pretty much impossible to kill. Unfair, right? But Tyrant here has a glaring weakness, and it’s everything pink and perfect. You see, she’s hopelessly in love, and you know, unconditional love is a dangerous thing. Particularly when that love has near-absolute control over you.” She adopted a look of disgust. “Really, you’re pathetic, and you should feel bad. Look at you. In the old days you would have already come at me, lump the others. But you’re at heel, like a slave.” With a condescending shake of her head she turned her attention to Marceline. “Player three, the strongest of all. Except me. And Tyrant. And the wad. So… not the strongest at all. But don’t worry, I have plans for you as well! Aaaand last, the star of our show…” when a garnet eye turned to meet green ones it was slitted. “Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, the woman who used us for her own means, who lied when she claimed to love us, who trained us to be a submissive, loyal thrall. Really, it was always about you then. And it’s all about you now.”

Marceline’s hand clenched around her axe blade, but the Usurper no longer cared, no longer saw her as a threat. Her entire focus was on Bonnibel, and everything else was background noise. “Now, let’s explain how this will work. Bonnie!” Her smile was both taunting and sweet. “You’re a woman who loves control. Everything you do is centered around it. You control your kingdom, and you control your people. You try to control other kingdoms by blowing up their sacred relics, and you try to control your friends by hiding cameras in their homes. And you try to control me.” She bared her teeth in an approximation of a humorless grin. “How’s that working out for you?” The question was rhetorical, and no one dignified it with an answer. “You  _ love  _ control. I would joke that it’s what gets you off, but-”

“Stop being distasteful!”

Her attention turned to Marceline. “Excuse me, weenie, we’re having a conversation over here. Sit down before I remove your arm and shove it down your throat.” When the fellow vampire refused to budge the Usurper squinted and she found herself forced into a kneel, felt the crushing force of a more powerful mind manipulating her physically. But her humiliation was short lived, because her left arm was not only extending it was reaching away from her body, but her axe, a physical piece of herself, was lifting and aiming at the tender point where her elbow joined her upper and lower arms. In that moment she was filled with fear, something her strength had allowed her to not have to feel anymore until this very moment. She was going to lose her arm, and who knew what would come after-

“STOP IT. You’ve made your point!”

And just like that Marceline was once again within control of her own body and she gasped, not out of necessity but out of reflex. She flushed at the humiliation of it all, dropping her bass to the ground in the process. While the front part of her mind attempted to reign in her ire the back part sent a silent ‘thank you’ to the Tyrant for saving her limb. Already the Usurper had forgotten her, focused elsewhere, specifically the Tyrant herself. She grinned pure malice. “Hey look! It talks!” Once again the vampire made to attack and once again she found herself rooted under someone else’s power, and it wasn’t the Usurper’s. “What’s your point, you lunatic?” 

Said lunatic tapped her chin with the tentacle tip in faux ponderance. “What was my…” Her eyes brightened. “Oh! That’s right! I was telling Bonnie about the role she’s about to play in this game.” As if nothing had happened she focused once more on the younger monarch, her voice and expression now blank. “You love being in power. Even when you got throne-jacked you made a kingdom out of vegetables to fill that empty hole where your heart should be. So now I’m going to give you all the power you could ever want.” Her eyes flickered to the brown messenger bag. “Where’s your dagger, Bonnie?,” she asked so innocently it was almost believable. There was a long pause, but just as the Usurper was about to admonish the princess for failing to answer she responded in a tight voice.

"..In my bag.” 

Her smile widened. “I wanna see.” It was a statement, not a question, but the scientist opened her bag and retrieved the knife nonetheless, holding it up for the vampire’s inspection. The half-demon breathed a sigh, though what of was anyone’s guess. “Rock. Alright! Time for the game. Wanna know the rules?” The tip of the tentacle morphed then, growing three long, thing talons tipped with even longer, thinner claws that reminded Bonnibel of a crane she had used during the kingdom’s construction. With a cry of pain mixed with a roar of fury the three claws dug into the Usurper’s eyesocket, wrapping around the shard of silver embedded within. The metal must have been deep because it was almost ten seconds later when the talons finally reemerged, bloodied and carrying the silver in the very tips of the nails to avoid further damaging undead flesh. The moment the metal was removed the now-empty eye socket was closed, and the princess found herself hoping that the agony the Usurper was experiencing was excruciating. Yet even as a fresh stream of blood began to flow from the re-opened wound, and even as her flesh seared, the Usurper was grinning her ill-intentions. For a brief moment she only stared at her ex-lover, then she looked down at her detainee. “I’m not going to lie. This is going to hurt, and I don’t care.” With that declaration hanging in the air the tentacle forced the Unifier’s mouth opened, the claw dropping the silver chunk down her throat.

“NO!”

Encouraged by Bonnibel’s panicked cry the Usurper returned her arms to their true forms, only to toss the vessel at her feet. Already the Unifier was writhing in agony as the hated metal scorched her from the inside out, arms reflexively wrapped around her abdomen, eyes tightly shut to press back the tears of pain already threatening to fall. When the princess dropped to her knees to assess the situation Marceline joined them, scanning her other self’s prone form closely, as if trying to decipher where the metal was now, pulling the Tyrant with her to help. Ignoring the other vampires, the maniac, whose expression and voice were impassive once more, stared intently at Bubblegum. “Let’s play a game, Bonnie. You came here to bring us back to Ooo, and you’ve spent who knows how much time trying to convince the Unifier to do her one flippin’ job. In the process you found the piece of us you tried to make submissive and mindlessly obedient, still so willing to follow your every command, still everything you’ve always wanted us to be. Without a real ability to heal herself I’m going to guess the Unifier only has a couple of minutes before she croaks, and, well, there goes us being whole. But hey, at least you get a slave as a consolation prize. Or, alternatively, you use your fancy dagger and gank the Tyrant, letting her piece of our soul grant her the ability to heal through the silver corrosion. I bet a silver dagger to the heart would gank even her.” The princess’s breathing hitched at the unbidden memory.

_ A dagger made of pure silver seems like a healthy compromise. I mean, you know how awesome I am at healing and a silver dagger through the heart would even gank me. _

When the Unifier began to cough up dark, dead blood Marceline turned her to the side, allowing it to pass out of her body easier and helping to prevent her from choking. She bared her fangs at the taunting queen. “I’ll just let her gank me inst-” The response was a derisive snicker. 

“Thought of that. You can heal, but not through  _ that  _ kind of injury.” When she saw the look of panic in perfect green eyes she laughed. “Your champions have fallen. Who lives and who dies is at your command. See? It’s all the power you could ever want.” With a self-satisfied sigh the Usurper took a seat mid-air, watching the scene unfold before her intently. “Responsibility demands sacrifice!,” she sang.

Marceline’s hands went over her weaker self’s chest and stomach, trying to locate the hated silver. “If I can find it I can try to pull it-”

“No. You can’t see what you’re doing and if you make one wrong slip you’ll kill her anyway.”

She turned to glare at the Tyrant. “Then what the lump do you-”

But the Baddie wasn’t watching her. She had kneeled next to her lover, had placed a grey hand on her shoulder. Her smile was both melancholy and understanding. “Bonnibel…”

The princess refused to let her finish that sentence, tears stinging her eyes. Before her the injured vampire had begun to choke on the pooling blood, jaw clamped tightly against the obvious agony. It was in that moment she no longer saw the Unifier as an individual, a single person that felt betrayed and used by the princess that was supposed to be her mate, the one person who should have never hurt her. In that moment there was no fighting, no subtle but pointy jabs. Instead there was only  _ a  _ Marceline and the one potential piece of her that could bring  _ her  _ Marceline back home. And that piece of her vampire was being tortured in a way she could never know or understand. But as badly as the two royals were fighting Bonnibel knew she was fighting with  _ Marceline _ , not some stranger, and it could all end here, in this very moment, if she wanted it to.  _ But how could I want it to? How could I abandon her now? Think, Bubblegum! You can- _

A pink fist tightened. “I can fix this! If I can get to Finn’s bag-”

“Bonnibel, there’s nothing in there-”

As one hand continued to trace over the Unifier helplessly the other clenched hard enough to turn pink knuckles white. “I can find something-”   


“Bonnibel, there’s no time. She’s insane, but the Usurper’s right. I’m the only one whose healing is strong enough-”

“NO! Absolutely not! I forbid-” Marceline covered her mouth, shooting her a look that clearly read ‘don’t finish that sentence’. When Bonnibel remembered who she was talking to she nodded her compliance and was released.

“Bonnibel, look at me.” Not giving her a chance to refuse, the Tyrant cupped her cheek to turn her head. “This isn’t…” She offered a gentle smile. “It’s okay, Bonnibel. I always needed to be ganked at some point in order for us to be whole. This is a pretty sucky way to go, yeah, but it’ll be okay.” After significant hesitation, the pink cheek rested against the palm. “See? But we don’t have long. If she dies your dream dies with her.” Green eyes closed, and both vampires ignored that their princess was trying and failing to hold back her tears. 

“Marcy… I can’t…” 

The Tyrant’s look of despair matched her lover’s. “If I could do it on my own…” But she couldn’t kill herself, and they both knew it, because the scientist had strict rules about such behavior. Glancing down towards the Unifier - and seeing her painful wails slowly giving way to softer cries, her thrashing growing weaker, Marceline frowned. 

“Give me the dagger. I’ll do it.” 

As she reached for the messenger bag to use as a shield the princess shook her head. “N… no… I’ll do it.”  _ Because I’m responsible for her. She’s mine… no matter what that means. If anyone is going to make sure her sacrifice isn’t in vain...  _ Sensing the intimacy of what was about to unfold the vampire nodded, turning away to focus on caring for the Unifier as much as she could, try to help relieve some of the strain of the deadly material scorching her internal organs, scraping soft flesh and muscle, allowing maroon blood to flow in a way it never should in a corpse.

At some point while Bubblegum was lost with that thought her lover had approached and nuzzled against her, axe laid off to the side. “It’s alright, Bonnibel. I’m not really biting it. I’m just going to be part of the whole. Hey, maybe this’ll make the Unifier less insufferable if she’s mixed with my radness.” 

Despite the morbidity of the joke the younger woman found herself with a small smile, though it did nothing to stop the tears threatening to fall. “You’re a butt, Marcy.” 

Another nuzzle. “And you’re a dork.” Before a playful-insult war could commence the Tyrant slid out of her jacket, wrapping it around the shorter woman’s shoulders. “Keep this. You never know when you’ll need it.” With an involuntary shudder that had nothing to do with the cold the candy golem nodded. Now the Tyrant turned to Marceline, her voice hardening, but only a bit. “You. Keep Bonnibel safe. And I’m serious, the Unifier is probably gonna have some issues with me being in her. ‘Sides, aside from the Usurper and the wad you’re the strongest now. So try not to suck at it.” This time when Marceline saluted it wasn’t sarcastic.

Bubblegum swallowed hard, opening her arms. She tried to control the tremble in her voice, but her vampires knew her far too well. “Come here, Marcy.” With a comforting smile the half-demon crawled into her lover’s arms; knowing what she was actually being asked, she rested her head over her mate’s heart.

“I’m sorry, Marcy.”

She smirked, loving amusement somehow making it into garnet eyes as she nestled herself closer to the source of warmth. “What are you even apologizing for?”

That elicited a choked laugh, and the princess leaned down to whisper something in the Tyrant’s free ear. Although Marceline couldn’t hear what it was she had a strong suspicion when her counterpart’s response was to kiss her softly before replying, “You too, Bonnibel. Always.” In acceptance of what was to come the Baddie rested her head against her mate’s, knowing that the pink arm not wrapped possessively around her was reaching for the knife. In an irony that would haunt Bubblegum for centuries to come her silver dagger, forged to be used in self-defense, would find its mark and slay the intended vampire not as an enemy, but as the other half of her being. It sliced the white tank top, pierced through the ribs, puncturing the non-functioning heart, and with that the Tyrant, one of the Big Baddies, fell to ash, her beloved bass joining her.

Marceline had been ready to grab the soul shard before it floated off but that proved to be unnecessary; it had obediently stayed near the group - or, more accurately, near the princess - allowing the vampire to gather it. Although her focus immediately shifted to the Unifier she couldn’t help but notice that Bonnibel hadn’t moved from her position, and that, just as the Usurper intended, her once-piercing green eyes were now dull. With a shake of her head she kneeled in front of her fallen self. “Come on, dude. Got a fresh soul right here for you.” A demonic eye opened weakly, searching for the piece in question. As soon as she spotted it the soul shard was absorbed, and immediately she could feel it begin to stitch itself to the drop already within her. Except this piece was so much larger than the first, and feeling it reattach was simultaneously the most painful and most pleasurable thing she had ever felt. And then she could hear Bonnibel, could hear her starting to cry and oh it was a sound the weakened vampire loathed so much, a noise that always set her on edge because there was a feeling now, something the vampire hadn’t felt in years-

But that sensation was soon overpowered by something new, another feeling she hadn’t felt in years. It was the experience of her flesh trying to knit itself together, of burns trying to recover, of dead cells being swept away and replaced with new, healthy cells. It was the sickening experience of nerves regrowing, of feeling the relief from blind pain. But the source of the pain was still there, still inside of her, which meant all of the progress her body had made was immediately destroyed by the intruding object. Nerves were regrown just to be severed once more, cells born just to die. And that was agony as well, because all she could do was feel herself heal and die, heal and die, because as powerful as her newly-recovered ability to heal was there were limitations, and she couldn’t heal with it-

With barely a moment to spare the Unifier flipped onto her hands and knees and emptied the contents of her stomach onto the grey ground. By this point her body had broken the silver chunk into a series of smaller shards, and their expulsion was a new kind of pain, as novel as it was excruciating. Yet that wasn’t her concern, and knowing that her stronger self was nearby she managed to croak, “go” before her attention was once again called to her stomach and its previous contents. But that was enough for Marceline; ignoring the gagging behind her she returned to Bonnibel, immediately pulling her into a tight embrace. The last of the princess’s resolve broke and she was wracked with sobs, her arms coming up around the vampire’s neck as she buried her head in her shoulder. The half-demon wrapped her arms are her possible-lover’s waist, taking every care that she kept that jacket on the candy woman; after what just happened she made a mental resolve to keep the two together. Keeping her right arm wrapped around Bubblegum’s waist the left moved up to stroke her hair. As she was thinking of something to say, something to do, she realized that the Usurper had been crying as well.

Were she not holding a sobbing woman Marceline would have gone after her herself. “What are  _ you  _ crying about?!”

Caught, the Usurper immediately regained her composure, wiping her tears away. “I’m just… so happy!” Her elated sigh was mixed with a delighted squeal. “Man, that feels great! I just love when a plan comes together.” She bounced clapping twice, not bothering to hide her childlike grin. “Ah, you wouldn’t get it. Guess you’re the new pet, huh?” Without waiting for a response she turned to survey her handiwork: The Unifier was only now done losing her lunch, Bonnibel was weeping in Marceline’s arms, Finn was moving but unsteadily undoubtedly due to immense pain, and Jake was only now beginning to regain consciousness, having reached a paw out to his brother to bring the two closer. And through it all the Usurper never stopped smiling so proudly, like she had just completed a masterpiece. “Man, I really outdid myself, right? I mean, if I did it right,” she pointed to Bonnibel, “that’s permanent.” Her smile widened, the row of sharp teeth making it patronizing. “I mean, look at how it mimics emotions! You’d almost think it’s not a monster.”

Marceline saw red. “ _ You’re  _ the monster, you psychopath!”

The Usurper raised an eyebrow. “I’d think you’d get it the most. We’re  _ all  _ monsters here.” Before a reply could be formed the Usurper straightened. “Ah, well. I’m gonna go find the wad. Later, guys!” But Marceline was no longer listening. She registered that the Baddie had become a bat and was laughing at them even as she was flying off, but she was no longer a concern. Jake was badly injured, possibly concussed if his inability to stand was any indicator. Finn was moving at an odd gait, suggesting some sort of internal injury, and his arm… even she felt sick looking at the sever, though Bonnibel built her machines right and it was a clean break, with no scattered pieces. The vampire raised her hand in a signal for them to wait where they were, hoping that the Unifier would still possess her ability to heal others now that she could heal herself and not wanting them to hurt themselves further. As she stroked the younger woman’s hair and held her tight Marceline turned towards the Unifier, who was only now making it to her feet. Her eyes were struggling to focus, her arm held protectively over her stomach. Finally, she looked down at her princess, who was still clutching her and still crying. She kissed her forehead, keeping the Tyrant’s jacket tightly against her, because no matter how badly Bubblegum betrayed them before it couldn’t - at least, in her individual opinion - compare to what she just had to do now.

As she observed the other woman she slowly pulled her into her lap, the best way she knew to start making her feel safe, and as she stroked her hair and rested her cheek on her head it occurred to her then. The princess had vowed at the beginning of her journey - and several times during it - that she was going to stitch all of the soul shards together again and drag Whole Marceline back to Ooo. She had met the Tyrant, the literal embodiment of her handiwork in making the Whole Vampire what she wanted her to be. Yet when she was tested she had to pick between the two, and the scientist chose to destroy what she had created, even knowing that the Unifier still had no intention of returning with her. Marceline turned her gaze to the Unifier, indicating the two heroes with her eyes, before her thoughts returned to the princess,  _ her  _ princess, she realized. Maybe the Unifier wouldn’t change her vote, even with the Tyrant’s piece of the soul in her. And maybe the twins and the wad wouldn’t be sympathetic to her cause and would instead jump on the Be Angry Forever train. But  _ this  _ Marceline had come to a decision, and she took a limp warm hand in her cool one. Once she was sure the Unifier was out of earshot she kissed Bonnibel’s temple, murmuring softly in her ear, “I forgive you. And I’m sorry, Bonnie. I’ll help you get us home.”

When she squeezed the princess’s hand it didn’t squeeze back.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Neutral (Power recovered: Healing)
> 
> Lawful Good (Power recovered: Flight)
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	14. There's a Lot of Grey Area

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real Talk: WOW, big delay! Sorry about that guys, shortly after I bought PAX East tickets my Chromebook finally died after years of loyal service, and I had to wait a bit to get a new one. As a heads up there's going to be another slight delay for the next chapter, but not as long; I need to submit a bunch of documents if I'm going to complete my Masters on time. I have a bonus chapter in mind for you guys, so that's exciting at least.
> 
> One of my first reviewers asked me a really good question on Transpose, and I hope they don't mind me answering here instead of their comment. The question was "How far has your canon developed?"
> 
> Short answer: ...Pretty far. Longer answer: At this moment I have about half a dozen one-offs in varying stages of development, a short multi-chapter planned, and the next Love Song chapter floating around. I make it a point to include at least one reference to some future story in every new story I post, and I'm just going to keep building on this world so long as my writing makes people happy.
> 
> I really need a name for this universe. Next project, yes.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Slight World-Building (Tree Fort!)  
> Bonnie is Bad at Learning Lessons Still (but she's trying sort of)  
> TWO Wild Marcelines Appear! (just one to go!)  
> A Nice Mild Chapter Before All the Feels Happen  
> Vague off-hand reference to a future plot that you won't understand now but in the future you'll be all "ohhh I see what CwT did there"

 

“Bonnie?”

There was no response.

“Bon? Can you hear me?”

A dull green eye turned towards the speaker before returning to the task of staring blankly ahead. Marceline stared helplessly, not knowing where to begin. At some point after the battle the Unifier had made herself scarce, presumably to treat the fallen champions. Marceline, on the other hand, readily took to the task of caring for Bonnibel. It was impossible to tell how long they had been in this position, the candy golem sobbing into the vampire’s shoulder, said vampire holding her as close as she dared without risking hurting her. When the crying tapered off Marceline had been hopeful she would snap out of it, but her lover’s state only got worse as she stared vacantly ahead, unresponsive to all manner of prodding. With a weak sigh the queen pulled her princess into her lap, cradling her against her chest as she murmured soothingly, stroking her hair softly. Bubblegum allowed herself to be held, but whatever trance captivated her was stronger than her mate’s attempts to rouse her.

To call Marceline unprepared for this situation would be an understatement.

Back in Ooo, whenever things became too emotionally charged, the vampire’s typical response would be to either run or shut down emotionally. Neither of these were options in this case, this bizarre perversion of the natural order of things. Marceline wasn’t meant to be the logical one, and Bonnibel wasn’t meant to have her emotions exposed like raw nerves. It had been part of their relationship dynamic for over five hundred years; something would happen, and Marceline would either fall apart or self-destruct - whatever was least appropriate for the situation - and it was Bubblegum’s job to hold and assure her that everything was going to be alright, because no matter what happened the queen was the emotional one and the princess was the logical one. If the situation before them weren’t so tragic it would be hilariously awkward, moreso, she knew, because of which part of Whole Marceline  _ she  _ was. She wouldn’t put it past the Usurper to abuse that knowledge of what  _ she  _ was, what she represented of the whole vampire, just to add to the strain of keeping the princess together. It was the only reason she could think of to let her live; she wanted to continue her mind games long after she fled the scene in search of new victims. Of all the original eight shards of the Whole Marceline she would be the most affected by Bonnibel’s current condition, except for the Tyrant herself. Marceline pushed down the unfamiliar sense of rage.

She tried to imagine what her younger lover must be experiencing. Losing a mate would always be traumatic in of itself, but this was so much worse. Bubblegum had been forced to destroy her by her own hand, manipulated by a shard of the woman that she loved. Marceline couldn’t help but wonder if she would have been capable of doing what her girlfriend had done. If she had held some facet of Bonnibel in her arms and given a dagger would she had been able to kill her? The very thought sickened her, even moreso because she knew that the answer was ‘no’, she never would have been capable of doing for the princess what the younger woman had just done for her. It was selfish, she knew, but she didn’t have it in her to make the sacrifice Bonnibel had just made for her. As she turned her gaze back to her fellow monarch she smiled sadly. Was Bubblegum as broken as she was now? Marceline had never needed to piece her mate back together again, not like this, it was always the princess who had to stitch the vampire whole once more. It was an aspect of their relationship that they kept unspoken, but they both knew it; Bubblegum was just more in control of the dynamic than she was, and that was going to be true with or without the Tyrant inside of her. It was by design, and it was just fine with both of them. Well, except for the Usurper, clearly, and Marceline couldn’t begin to fathom how the Unifier was going to handle this situation now that she had the Tyrant’s chunk of the soul in her. Poorly, she mused.

A cool hand grasped a warm one. 

In some deep part of her psyche she thought she could almost feel herself fall in love with her all over again; were it not so absurd she would have laughed, even a bitter laugh. Especially a bitter laugh, because Marceline had been wrestling with one question above all others: Had the Tyrant been on to something? Whether or not Marceline agreed with the Baddie’s methodology or homicidal tendencies she had been a staunch supporter that, given the opportunity, Whole Marceline would destroy Bonnibel. Before today  _ this  _ Marceline had denied it vehemently; one lunatic did not mean all of her was irredeemable. And yet this went leagues beyond what she had ever thought herself capable of, even at her worst. Did the Usurper’s actions reflect that the half-demon was a ticking time bomb that would just wreck everything when given the opportunity? Would Bonnibel be safer if Marceline made herself scarce once they got back to Ooo? It was tempting reasoning, and running was something she was  _ really  _ good at. But that wasn’t her choice. Not alone, at least. Because despite what she just suffered through Bubblegum - a woman who disliked prolonged physical contact on principle - was still allowing herself to be held, and by Marceline. Something within her stirred, a horrible amalgamation of honor and shame. With no Tyrant in her to stop herself from running from the horror surrounding her she stopped herself by kissing the top of a pink head.

“Hey… why don’t we put your jacket on?” That gentle suggestion got some response at least, and the young scientist allowed herself to be maneuvered enough to slide her arms through the sleeves before wrapping her arms around herself and collapsing back against the vampire, who mused that it was at least a start. Honestly, it was more than she expected; being a brainlord didn’t exactly make you immune to the mental and emotional effects of traumatic loss. Bonnibel had emotions, albeit it stunted and poorly-developed ones, and the queen could only begin to fathom the agony. She rested her cheek against the top of her head as she adjusted their position, a demonic eye tracing the path the Unifier must have taken in order to reach their injured friends. It only took a moment to spot the three, relief creeping over her to see Jake now standing unaided. Evidently in good spirits, too; the Unifier punched Finn in the non-broken arm and the dog was laughing. Satisfied that they were alone Marceline rolled her eyes, pulling the almost-limp candy golem to her as she began to sing softly, a lullaby she hadn’t sung to the younger woman in perhaps a decade. The rocker knew where the group would next be headed and she knew that there was no reason for the scientist to be awake for the next leg of the journey when sleep was so much more rewarding.

While Marceline wrestled with her own inner turmoil the Unifier had indeed made herself scarce, not wanting to be around either Bonnibel or technically-herself at the moment. Her own emotions, feelings she hadn’t experienced in years, threatened to consume her and she had since lost the ability to regulate or even understand them ages ago. She couldn’t stand the thought of being around the heart-broken princess, or see the pained and thoughtful look in Marceline’s eyes, eyes identical to her own. Instead she elected to just shut down as much of that nonsense as she could, but the only way to do so successfully was to be nowhere near either of them. However, moving proved more cumbersome than she had initially anticipated. Healing took way more energy than she remembered, and although the internal damage was recovering nicely the pain of the wretched silver remained, making standing an adventure all its own. Still, the Unifier knew she had to find the boys; Finn’s arm had just been ripped off, and Jake probably had a nasty head injury. She didn’t even want to consider that regaining her own ability to heal may have cost her the ability to heal her friends, although that would be exactly like something her own mindscape would do to her. 

One step proved too unsteady for her liking and she resolved to float her way to the duo, her arm falling from her stomach as she approached. Jake looked to slowly be regaining consciousness, but the operative word was ‘slowly’, too slowly to be healthy. Finn’s face was contorted in pain, his flesh hand gripping the ground below him with enough exertion to turn his knuckles white. Reaching Jake first the Unifier hovered over him, gingerly placing her hands over his head as her eyes closed in concentration. The bad news, it seemed, was that recovering her own ability to heal made it very difficult to properly decipher where another’s injury actually was. The good news, however, was that she could still heal the brothers. Even if it took longer. And was way more tiring to do. By the time Jake stood and shook himself awake all the Unifier wanted to do was take a nap, but Finn was suffering too much to seriously entertain that option. Motioning for Jake to stay back she landed next to the human, gingerly taking his mangled arm, only to have him jerk it away reflexively. The vampire kept her voice calm. “Finn, it’s just me. Hold on, kid. I got this.” She was half right; with enormous effort she managed to control the boy’s pain enough for him to calm down. Later, back in Ooo, he would realize that she actually seared the nerves shut, which would explain why she looked so exhausted. Her eyes closed briefly, but she willed herself to stay awake. “Ugh… we’ll have to put your arm back later.” To her relief, he nodded, eyes shining with understanding and something else she didn’t recognize, but thought might be pity. She bit her cheek.

“No worries, man. Thanks.” He smiled with all the genuine gratitude he could push forward before picking his arm off the ground.  _ She doesn’t look so good…  _ He would never dare say that, even to the Unifier. 

Jake broke the awkward tension for him. “What happened when I wasn’t here?” 

The Unifier frowned, moving to sit mid-air. “After the Usurper konked you dorks out she…” She stopped. At first she wasn’t sure why, but then she realized that she was experiencing a sensation she hadn’t felt in years, some emotion she could not place. It was the burning memory of the light leaving Bonnibel’s eyes. It was the Tyrant’s expression of pained resignation of her fate. It was the helplessness radiating from Marceline as she watched the woman she loved fall apart. It was the hysterical laughter belting from a woman unhinged. It was the knowledge that she had been saved at the expense of another, that perhaps if she had actually  _ thought  _ about the situation for once in her un-life she could have avoided getting caught in such a stupid trap-

She knew what it was now. It was guilt.

“After you dorks got jacked up the Usurper caught me and tried to kill me. She took one of the silver chunks Jake threw at her and shoved it down my throat.”

Under his fur, Jake paled. “Oh man, I’m SO sor-”

The Unifier ignored him. “I didn’t catch all the deets since, you know, I was dying, but she made Bonnibel gank the Tyrant so that I could have the piece of our soul that would save me.” Admittedly, that last part came out more bitterly than she had intended, but both boys were gracious enough not to bring attention to it. Silence befell the trio, Jake tenting his paws while avoiding the vampire’s eyes, said vampire now laying on her back mid-air, and Finn trying in vain to hook his arm back to its mounting before abandoning the effort, realizing the futility of trying to science without the princess.  _ Yeah, speaking of which…  _

Finn looked over the immortal’s shoulder, trying to locate the missing party members. “So… where’s PB now?” It was obvious that he was trying to repress his own anguish, probably on her behalf, and the Unifier appreciated the thought. 

Without looking she hooked her them in the general direction of Bubblegum and Marceline. “Bonnibel’s not doing too great at the moment, so that one is trying to talk her through it. I figure she’ll signal us or something when they’re good or whatevs.”

Silence befell the group once more. Now it was Jake’s turn to break it, confidence slowly edging out the shame of having unwittingly provided a madwoman with the weapon that almost murdered his friend. “So… the Tyrant’s in you now, huh? What’s it like?” 

Garnet eyes slid closed as they fought off sleep. “I feel like punching myself,” she mumbled. 

Finn tilted his head. “How’s that work, anyway? You never really talk about it.” An eye opened, half-glaring at the boy, who by now seemed immune to her ire. She almost fumed. Almost. 

“It’s like a piece of me attaching itself without me wanting it to.” 

He seemed to consider that before replying quietly. “Like… something is back but it’s not the same?” She considered the mangled arm. How many had Finn gone through by now? A million? 

“...Yeah. Like that.” 

Jake scratched his chin as he eyed the queen suspiciously. “So you can feel what she felt? Interesting...”

“How is that interesting?”

A thought occurred to Finn. “Oh snap. When you get your soul pieces back do they… change you?”

“Change me?”

“You know. Since the Tyrant was so strong and all.”

“Nope. Still as awesome as ev-”

Evidently his brother shared the same thought, because he grinned. “I ‘unno... “ She didn’t like his tone of voice and narrowed her eyes at the elder hero. He didn’t care. 

“What?!,” she snapped.

He didn’t care about that either. “Oh nothing. I just think she’s influencing you more than you wanna admit.”

The vampire snorted in derision. “Uh huh. Sure guy. Pretty sure I’d be the one to notice.”

“I ‘unno…,” he repeated, arrogance bleeding into it. “You suuuure about that?”

The Unifier didn’t know where this was going, but she didn’t like it. “Yeah, Jake. I’m prett-”

“‘Cause, you know...”

“Know what?!”

Finn finished for him, smiling slyly. “You just called Preebs ‘Bonnibel’. Twice. Aaaaannd you’ve only called her “Bubblegum” since the junk at the castle with the dagger.” She opened her mouth to argue but snapped it shut, a growl escaping her when she realized her friends were right. Instead she flushed angrily, and for the second time in a decade the Unifier found herself  _ really  _ wanting explosive laser vision in order to blow up a couple of pests. Encouraged by her lack of argument, and the blushing he took for embarrassment, the young champion continued. “I’m just saying-”

“Stop ‘just saying’, or I’ll throw you in the lake.”

When he paused to consider that she smirked in triumph. Determining the threat to be empty he pressed on anyway. “You knoooow. Before you took her soul you wouldn’t have warned me you were gonna mess me up. You would have just done it. Maybe the Tyrant liked your bros more than you thought?” The question-that-was-actually-an-allegation  resulted in the vampire punching him in his flesh arm, and he only laughed. “See! And you didn’t even punch my cranked up arm!” She punched him again and Jake laughed uproariously. 

“We figured you out, Unifier! Busted!” 

Her heated flush deepened as she threw her arms in the air. “Whatever! I’m going to go check on  _ Bubblegum  _ so we can get going!” That proved unnecessary; at some point during the conversation Marceline had flown over to her friends, still carrying the princess, and wearing both the messenger bag and an insufferable grin. The Unifier turned to shoot a dirty look at the boys, jaw clenched. “Why didn’t you tell me she was behind me,” she snarled. The response she received were two ‘we’re-completely-innocent’ looks.” When she turned back to Marceline her hand clenched. “Shut. Up.” 

The other queen raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t say anything. Guilty conscience?” Another question-that-was-actually-an-accusation, and she seethed.

As fun as tormenting his friend was, Finn’s attention turned to his remaining ladybro, whose head was rested on her carrier’s chest, green eyes closed. “How’s…? He wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence, not wanting to remind the scientist that she had just lost part of Marceline in a mondo mumba bad way.

The vampire offered a sad smile. “Got her to go to sleep. Even brainlords need rest.” 

He nodded. “I hear that. So, what’s the plan here?” 

The Unifier glanced at Marceline for confirmation of what they were both thinking, then groaned in acceptance of her and by extension everyone else’s fate. “The Usurper is totally going to be heading to the wad next. She’s the last Baddie, and there’s no way she’ll leave her nice comfy lair to meet her head on. She’s… what’s that word?” 

Marceline frowned. “‘Reclusive’, guy. The wad doesn’t leave her lair for  _ anything _ . Trust me, I’d know, I visit her enough.” 

Finn rubbed his chin. “What’s she like, anyway?” 

The Unifier blinked at him, as if the answer were obvious. “She’s a wad. We keep telling you that. Pay attention, dude.” 

To his relief the animosity had dropped from her voice entirely. “Yeah, but… what does that mean?”

The answer was interrupted by Marceline, who conspicuously held Bubblegum closer when she began to stir. “She’s not our problem right now. We gotta get to her before the Usurper does. If she takes her out…” The subtext: There aren’t enough of us left to stop her. When Bonnibel settled the grounded vampire turned to the Unifier. “We need to go see the twins.” As she predicted the Unifier groaned excessively loudly. 

“Do we  _ have  _ to go see them? They’re so frickin’ weird.” 

Marceline nodded her agreement. “Totes, but it’s going to take the Usurper a couple of days to get to the wad on her own. The twins can open up a portal right to her front door. If we get to her first I might be able to reason with her.” Before the Unifier could respond she continued, undeterred. “Yes, we  _ can  _ reason with her. You just gotta know how to talk to her. Besides, no reason you can’t take their soul chunks while we’re at it.” The flighted vampire’s eye twitched, the feeling of being altered, of being violated, still fresh in her mind. Whatever retort she had died before it could exist.

“What’s the thing with these twins?”

Marceline glanced down at her mate, the sad smile returning. “Sorry, Bon. Did we wake you?” 

The princess shook her head sleepily. “It’s fine. Too much to do to sleep.” This would have been far more convincing were her voice not so flat, were she not so obviously attempting to repress the onslaught of emotions that had overwhelmed her moments before. Were she not so visibly drained and pale. The sad smile because a concerned frown, but Marceline made no comment. Not until Bubblegum tried to wiggle free and met her with her own frown. “Marceline, put me down.” But it was only the ghost of a demand, a command issued not because it was what the younger royal really wanted but because she had to say  _ something  _ that put her in control of her own actions. If the way she held Marceline’s arm was any indication she would actually prefer not to be released; she was ordering just to say she tried. The frown was now a strained smirk that attempted to be playful and half-succeeded. Marceline knew that the princess’s pride would inevitably be her downfall, but not today. 

“Nope.” 

A pink hand closed around her grey arm. “Marce-” 

The vampire pretended not to notice. “I’ll put you down when we get going. ‘Kay? Cool.” 

Bonnibel glared, but to no effect. “...Fine. Now, answer my question. What’s the thing with these twins we’ve heard so little about?” It was a snap, but Marceline ignored it; centuries in a relationship with the scientist had taught her that she responded to  _ any  _ semblance of emotion with aggression and desperate attempts to control, and the classy thing would be to not draw attention to it.

Her lips pursed into a straight line when she heard the Unifier mutter in complaint, but to her relief it was a reaction to the question itself, not Bonnibel’s current attitude. “Linke and Rechte.”

“And what exactly makes them so odd, and why are their names Left and Right?”  _ And when the flip did you learn German? _

The Unifier shuddered in disgust. “I think their full names are something like ‘Of the Left Hand’ and ‘Of the Right Hand’, but that’s way too long, so we just call them Linke and Rechte. And they’re just… ugh.”

Marceline decided to take over the conversation that was quickly going nowhere. “Most of us work individually. We do our own thangs. Those two… I dunno why, but their strength is related to one another.”

Finn began to make the journey to his backpack, the others following by nothing more than habit. “So when one gets stronger the other gets stronger?”

“Nah, it’s backwards. When one gets stronger the other gets weaker, so they always stay near each other, since-”

The explanation was interrupted by Jake frantically waving his paw in the air. “Oh! Oh! I gots a question. Do all of you have names?” 

The Unifier shrugged. “Kind of. Or titles. Or whatever we want, we don’t judge that.” 

His face scrunched as he turned his attention to the second half-demon. “You don’t gots a name?” 

She stared at him blankly. “...My name’s Marceline, dude. We’ve kind of met before. Remember? I almost sucked out your soul back in Ooo?” She chuckled. “Good times, right?” 

Her counterpart rolled her eyes. “We usually just call her by what she is. But she wants to be all dramatic and junk, so I can’t do that. Which is lame. Like her.” Finally reaching his bag, Finn kneeled to gather his stuff. To his amusement the Unifier began assisting, but he elected not to point that out. 

“So what are they like? The twins.” 

Both vampires exchanged a look, a silent discussion of how to best describe the two. In the end the stronger royal responded. Carefully. “Well… you can’t really trust either of them. Linke can be charming, but she’s  _ way  _ selfish in a way that would kind of be impressive if she wasn’t so ridiculously childish. She’s proud and self-absorbed. She won’t do anything unless it’s about her in some way, but she can be bribed. All she does is protect herself. Rechte… well, she’lll help us out when we need it, and I know she’s in favor of us going home, but she’s almost abusive about it.”

Finn seemed to be debating whether or not to put his arm in his bag or carry it. “So, one’s a good guy?” 

Were she not holding an emotionally fragile candy golem Marceline may have throttled him. “I don’t know how else to explain this to you, Finn: none of us are good guys in any way. None. That’s it. End of story.” 

For once in her life, the Unifier decided to be helpful. “Case in point, it can be  _ really  _ hard to tell them apart.” 

As Finn began to search for his sword - having decided to put his arm in his backpack until Bonnibel was thinking straight, it was so obvious she was frazzled - Jake narrowed his eyes at the two rockers. “Only in your mind would good and evil be the same thing.” 

Marceline’s eye twitched comically. “We  _ just  _ went over this. No part-” 

Before a fight could break out Finn returned, complete with sword. “Got it!” It seemed to lift his spirits, and the Unifier’s quirk of her lips was half sarcastic smirk, half relieved smile. Having rejoined the group he sheathed the sword securely, repositioning it so he could draw it with his off-hand. “I dunno, though. I mean… how can good and evil be, like, the same thing? Even here, that’s kind of… I don’t know.” He pondered the correct word as he tapped his chin.

Before Marceline could launch into another lecture the Unifier stopped her. “Finn, here’s a life lesson for you. Not everything ‘good’ is nice and soft, and not everything ‘evil’ is mean and kicks babies. There’s a lot of grey area, you just gotta accept that in life.”

Ignoring Finn’s mumble of “is that right?”, Bubblegum turned her head to address the weaker vampire. It did not escape her notice that the moment she did so the Unifier turned away from her, floating backwards and out of her view.  _ Incorrigible. Absolutely incorrigible, even now. I would assume she would learn some humility after what just occurred, and yet she’s as stubborn as ever.  _ Were she in her right mind the princess would have registered the irascibility of that thought and understood that such a mindset was how this entire situation happened in the first place. But she wasn’t, she didn’t, and she didn’t care. She was much too tired, her nerves far too raw and exposed.  _ No. I’m too exposed.  _ Marceline must have sensed her ire because when Bonnibel caught her gaze it was full of concern. Were she in her right mind, if this was even half a day ago, the candy golem may have appreciated the sincere worry. But she wasn’t, she didn’t, and she didn’t care. All that mattered to her in that moment was dragging her vampire home. Everything else, including a long discussion of her behavior, could wait until that task was complete. “And how exactly could they help us?” 

The look of concern didn’t fade, but years of practice kept it from seeping into her voice. “They can open a portal to pretty much anywhere. It’s how I kept going back and forth with all that precious food you mortals seem to love so much.” 

Jake’s ears piqued. “So what you’re saying is… that’s where the food lives?” He nodded vigorously to himself, tail wagging. “Okay, let’s go there!”

With a self-satisfied grin Jake once again increased his mass, swiftly becoming over twenty times his size. With a grin he held out his paw to give Finn a lift to his back, both vampires electing to fly instead. No sooner had the older women found a comfortable spot to sit Marceline turned to her other self, eyes flickering to the younger royal. “Do you want to watch-” 

And just like that, the Unifier was on her feet, then in the air. “I’ll go guide Jake.” Before anyone could protest, she was gone. Even Finn sensed the tension of the situation. 

“Wow… she’s not handling the soul-absorbing thing well, huh?” 

Arms crossed, head rested on her lover’s chest, Bubblegum did nothing to hide her disgusted tone. “Accountability has never been Marceline’s strong suit.” Finn’s eyes darted between the two monarchs, as if trying to remind the pink one that her older mate was sitting  _ right there _ and had visibly winced at the biting comment. Bonnibel responded by shooting him a look that unmistakably read ‘I know what I said’. He sighed internally.  _ Sorry, Marce. That was harsh, even from over here.  _ His friend’s pained look spurred him to find a new topic. Relief came in the form of a sudden, horrible thought. “Would the twin-guys open this portal thing for the Usurper?” 

Marceline shook her head. “No way. She and Linke started on decent enough terms, but then the psychopath started her whole ‘kill everyone’ plan, which directly conflicted with Linke’s ‘stay alive’ plan. Either way, it takes both of them to open a portal and there’s no flippin’ way Rechte would ever help her.” 

He nodded thoughtfully. “And they’d help us. Right?” 

She shrugged. “Sure?” Even Finn was beginning to pick up on his friend’s habit of turning statements into questions.

Keeping a sensitive ear on the conversation behind her the Unifier flew to the front of the pack to meet with Jake. “Hey Marce. So how far are we going?” 

She shook her head, now flying just far enough ahead to make a steady guide. “Not too far. I think you guys actually passed the Tree Fort when you were on your way to see me.” 

Jake’s expression lifted upon learning that he was going to a place he already knew, but fell when he remembered why the trio didn’t start their search there in the first place. “Uh… isn’t that place surrounded by a murder-fence?” 

The Unifier shrugged. “Yeah, but the other one back there goes to see them a lot, so she probs knows how to get past it.” 

Jake tilted his head. “Shouldn’t you check with her on that?” 

A nod. “Probably.” She didn’t, and Jake frowned in consternation. He wanted to say something about her blase attitude, about how she was obviously dodging his questions just as she was dodging Bonnibel. But he didn’t, because he had eyes and he could see her tension, her utter disdain for the situation. Even her scent was full of anticipation mixed with anxiety, and it didn’t escape his notice that she was casually glancing over her shoulder now and again at the dog’s passengers - or maybe just one in particular. That caused him to frown as well, but for a much different reason, and he wondered what it must be like to have your girlfriend as your own personal emotional baggage.

Her apprehension would need to be addressed, but not then, and not by him. Instead he focused on following his friend as she lead them back where they came, deviating only slightly from their previous course. Now they toed the line that separated the Grasslands-approximation with the city. It was a literal line, too; the desolate Grasslands stopped abruptly and cleanly, and at its edge the strange, dark black ground unique to the city began. Jake preferred the Grasslands side, the itchy fake-grass somehow more comfortable on his paws than the hard whatever the city floor was made out of. He meant to make a joke about that, but the Unifier was lost in thought and for some reason he couldn’t place that worried him. “Hey, I’m gonna check on the peanut gallery.” With her absent nod he stretched an ear, an eye, and his mouth back to his remaining friends, keeping his remaining ear and eye on the road. “How’s it goin’ back here? Anything good?”

Indeed good things were happening: Bubblegum was attempting to reattach Finn’s arm, much to the boy’s elation. For this task Marceline had consented to release the princess, lounging in the air to observe. Watching Bonnibel science was always a remarkable sight to behold, especially to the vampire. It was something she would never admit aloud, but the vampire loved watching her mate work, so long as she didn’t cross the threshold from ‘duteous’ to ‘obsessive’, and despite her incessant teasing Marceline  _ knew  _ that Bonnibel simply wasn’t Bonnibel if she ever relinquished her intellectual obsessions. In short, it was good to see her overactive mind focused on something that wasn’t self-destructive. Unfortunately, her lover’s grimace indicated that her task wasn’t progressing smoothly. “Sorry, Finn. I know how to reattach your arm, but I lack the proper tools. I need a way to weld the component back to the elbow joint. It’s a clean break, but without a point of fusion-” 

A rarity for Marceline, she suddenly had an idea. “Wait, all you need is a way to fix an object?” She flipped over, flying to the front of the dog. Moments later the Unifier was dragged back to join the rest of the group. “Bon needs you to be useful. So, you do that, I’ll go guide Jake.” There was no time for argument, the stronger vampire was already taking her spot at the head of the class, leaving her other self within close proximity of the last person she wanted to be around, possibly including the Usurper herself.

‘Awkward’ was an understatement.

Sparing only an eye flicker to the candy golem the Unifier first watched Finn, then his arm. “So… what’s going on? What are we doing?”

The pink woman held up the cyborg arm, demanding the half-demon’s attention. “We need to reattach this to Finn. Can you act as a point of fusion?” At the blank stare Bonnibel frowned in frustration, either unable or unwilling to stop the patronizing tone bleeding into her voice. “I need you to affix this disconnected arm to Finn’s attached shoulder mount.” Every syllable was said so tightly, every word so controlled, the Unifier’s wince was understandable to all involved - except, of course, Bubblegum. Still, she looked at the other woman only as much as was necessary, nodding absently. 

“Oh. Right. Sure.” 

The response was sluggish, and the words escaped by the boy’s mouth before he could think better of it. “You alright, Marce? You still look pretty zonked.” 

Before she could reply an oh-so-controlled voice beat her to it. “ _ Still _ ? You were tired before and you chose not to rest?” Had Bubblegum chosen to stop then she could have salvaged the comment, spun it as a concern and not a lecture. Part of her knew she should, knew that the Unifier had just gone through something rather traumatic. But she had just gone through something rather traumatic herself, and her way of coping - lecturing - trumped her desire to offer her would-be-lover comfort. “If you were tired why did you elect to direct Jake when you could have been back here resting?” Even that could have been salvageable, if said with the correct tone and inflection. It wasn’t. It was harsh, it was controlling, it was everything she promised to stop being. She wasn’t sure if she could help it or wouldn’t help it, and deep down, in that spot reserved solely for her vampire, that scared her. But in that moment, she didn’t care.

Now the Unifier reacted, offering an icy glare to her estranged-mate. “Listen-” Before this could escalate Finn placed himself before the two women, holding up his remaining arm in defense of the vampire. Bubblegum may not have been privy to the aftermath of the Unifier absorbing the Tyrant’s soul shard but he had been. Deep in his own heartguts he knew that once they were back in Ooo Bonnibel would feel immensely silly for slipping back into her old ways so quickly, and that one day this would all be a funny story, like all of those other adventures where he and his brother had almost been killed. But this was not that day, emotions were still running high, and it was probably best that his ladybros not be allowed in the same room alone together for awhile.

“Woah, hold up guys. Let’s chill.” 

To his surprise the Unifier said nothing, only maintaining eye level with the princess. The princess, on the other hand, scoffed. “Finn, it’s important you possess four functioning limbs-” He nodded calmly, keeping an even tone. He may not have hundreds of years worth of intimacy with Bubblegum under his belt like Marceline did, but the pink woman was still one of his best friends, had been for most of his life, and he knew the importance of calming down a riled up mad scientist convinced she’s right.

“Totes agree, Peebo, but we got time. My arm’s not going anywhere.” Mercifully, the intended humor made it into his voice. “‘Sides, sounds like the next two you’s aren’t going to straight up attack us, right Marce?” She gave a non-committal shrug, but it was good enough for him. “Sweet. So let’s just chill-nup. Score?”

Without a word the Unifier rolled over in the air, floating as far away from the two as she could while still technically remaining within the vicinity of the Jake-mobile. Finn waited for her to remove her bass and begin strumming aimlessly before turning back to his remaining friend. They both wore watching frowns, but for starkly different reasons. In his younger days he would have bent over backwards - literally - to wipe that expression clean off the princess’s face, would have taken it as his personal quest to find the cause and beat it into submission. But he was almost a man grown now, and the world wasn’t as simple as he thought it was when he was just a young champion, kneeling before and kissing the dainty hand of a princess made of candy for the first time. There was no monster to slay except inner turmoil, and there was only so much he could do about that one on her behalf. But now he found himself in two situations entirely new, a situation where his former love interest wasn’t the victim but the aggressor, and a situation where his devilish imp of a friend wasn’t the instigator, but the target. Before this adventure he never would have found it within himself to point out this perverse departure from the norm to the younger monarch, but so much had changed since they first found the Obelisk.

And so much more still since the Thorn Gate had reminded him that he was a helper, and what it means to help.

“Peebs, you have to stop.” It was not the tone of voice one used to address a love interest, former or present, nor was it how a champion would address his commanding royal. It was one of fact, one of undeniable truth, spoken from one dear friend to another, free of all accusation and aggression, instead drenched in worry and trepidation. At those five words Bonnibel flushed deeply, took a deep breath, held it to the count of ‘drei’, then… exhaled gently in a sigh. He had expected indignation, for his monarch to explode at the subtle accusation that she was being too much. 

What he didn’t expect was for her to agree. 

“...You’re right.” This was followed by silence, save for the sounds of almost-music coming from undead hands. When she didn’t follow-up her comment he did it for her. 

“PB… what’s up?” 

Needing something to focus her attention, Bonnibel turned her sights on the disconnected arm. The pause hung heavy in the air. “Admittedly… I’m not entirely sure.” An odd moment of sincerity as the Unifier’s claim from mere days ago rang in the back of his mind:  _ This is totes normal. Lecturing is how Bonnie expresses affection.  _ At first he made no reply to his friend, wanting to see if silence would encourage her to continue her train of thought. 

When it didn’t he nodded thoughtfully. “You still have her, Peebs.” This was dangerous territory and he knew it; Bubblegum could easily shut down absolutely when confronted with her own emotional vulnerability, especially in light of what just happened. It would be an understandable reaction, but Finn above all knew that the best way to minimize lasting post-traumatic damage was to help own it in a controlled, safe setting. And Finn Mertens was all about keeping the princess safe. Keeping all of his friends safe.

Her hand tightened on Finn’s arm and she admired her handiwork. She had to admire something about herself. “I did what I had to do, Finn.” He nodded reassuringly, making a big show of looking anywhere but at her. He was about to take another big gamble, and he kept his voice as reassuring as he could. If Bonnibel was unaccustomed to heartgut feelings there was no way she would know how to handle long-term psychological damage. But he knew her. She’d find something that passed for logic and focus on it obsessively until it fit whatever narrative she needed to justify whatever destructive emotion or action she would need to justify. This would be harsh now, but maybe she’d have fewer nightmares later. 

“I know, Preebs. It’s just… are you trying to convince me, or yourself?” Not wanting her to feel cornered he gave her a jovial thumbs up before standing and making his way over to the other emotionally-traumatised woman in the immediate vicinity; she had stopped playing, and he wanted to make sure it was because she had finally passed out, and not for some other, darker reason. Bubblegum watched him leave, both impressed by his challenge and irate that she had been so easily read by a child.  _ Though… I suppose, upon consideration, he has actually surpassed me in terms of biological age.  _ This thought was uncomfortable for an altogether different reason.

She zipped the jacket closed against the sudden shudder.

Deep down she knew it was her who should be checking in on the Unifier, not Finn, and the realization that she was still rooted to her spot even as the boy did her job for her sickened her in a way she had never expected.  _ He wasn’t even there when Tyrant warned us that the Unifier could be profoundly emotionally and mentally affected by the abrupt absorption of such a tumultuous piece of her soul under such atrocious circumstances. He’s merely acting out of an almost instinctive concern. Flob it, Bubblegum, you should be making sure she’s okay, not yelling at her! What the flip is wrong with you?!  _ She ran her thumb down the smooth metal in contemplation. Her mind was in overdrive, filled with so much uncertainty, so many half-manifested ‘what if?’s and ‘how about?’s. This wasn’t the first time in her long life that the scientist was frozen with indecision at the onslaught of variables and unknowns, a phenomenon the vampire had once called ‘paralysis by analysis.’ 

This also wasn’t the first time in this journey that the younger woman began to truly doubt their long-term compatibility as a romantic couple because even now, even when presented with a situation that was literally all about Marceline the princess had found a way to make it about herself. Logically, she knew, knowing about the cognitive fallacy should make it easier to work around, but evidently that just wasn’t true for her; everytime Marceline - especially the Unifier - did something disapproving she found herself reacting hotly, unable to silence those darker thoughts or hide those black actions that the Usurper had only been too happy to drag into the street for everyone to see. Bubblegum wanted to tell herself that her own sadistic actions, her own pointy words, were entirely involuntary, yet here she stood, staring wanly as Finn the Hero checked in on her girlfriend for her.  _ Seriously, Bubblegum… what the flip.  _ This thought lacked all bite and was instilled filled with disappointment. This was too unfamiliar territory for the younger woman; she wasn’t used to not knowing what to do, wasn’t even sure what information she needed to make an informed choice. She didn’t even know what she was making a choice about, she only knew that she needed to do  _ something _ , but what  _ something  _ was was anyone’s guess and she was running out of time because Finn was coming back- “How is she?” Her voice was much flatter than she’d like, but at least the sentiment was there. 

She hoped. 

“Totally out.” Her sigh was both of relief and fatigue, and together they watched the scenery change.

At some point during the confrontation Jake had returned to his job and passed clear into the city once more - all the while mumbling about his own fatigue - and the two found themselves passing familiar fallen poles that still crackled with electricity, the well-known crumpled buildings with their ominous graffiti still littered the road, the windows were still blackened and imperceptible. Finn felt a chuckle run through his brother moments before Marceline flew back to the rest of the group, Jake’s ear just behind her. “‘Sup, dorks? We’re almost at the Tree Fort. Once we get there I’ll talk to them. Gotta figure out which is which first or this’ll be annoying.” 

Finn began gathering his things. “What do we do then, Marce?” 

She shrugged, floating over to the Unifier. “Gank ‘em. Try to convince them to let us see the wad. Not really in that order. Hey! You awake?!” A demonic eye shot open, glaring at her counterpart. Marceline seemed unphased. “Sweet. Alright guys-” Whatever she was about to say next went unsaid; Jake had come to a stop. 

“Uh… guys?” 

It was exactly as the trio had last seen it: The short, thin, curved black trunk that featured too many branches, thin and wispy, horribly contorted despite the weight of the rooms burdening them. The yellow-orange tinted leaves noticeably sulking, almost blocking the blackened windows which were undoubtedly covered with metal plates, just as the Cave House ones had been. The walkways were still cracked and broken, the largest of which had almost collapsed on itself in the group’s absence; by Marceline’s disapproved frown Finn supposed that this was new. The wooden entrance was still rotting - no surprise there - the metal horribly rusted. The parasol was still upright, though it appeared to have shifted slightly, though that may have been his imagination. Before the false Tree Fort sat the imposing, massive chainlink fence, separated into a grid, the frame of each section beset with a number of rusted spikes. Just as before it was topped with a combination of yet even more - and taller - spikes, lined with razor wire. The fence seemed larger than before, more imposing, but that may have been an illusion, the product of his emotional, physical, and mental fatigue catching up to him. He only hoped the locals were friendly, or at least not homicidal for a change of pace.

While Finn and Jake had been gawking at the barrier before them Marceline had drawn her axe and approached it, seemingly unphased by its malicious aura. She was scanning the links slowly, though what she was searching for remained a mystery. Without breaking her stare she cautiously lifted her axe, ghosting over the Gate with its edge. Jake tilted his head. “Whatcha doin’?”

She responded without breaking her stare. “One of these holes is fake.” 

He squinted. “How do you have a fake hole?” 

Her axe paused. “It’s more like a keyhole, but you gotta pick the right one. Trust me, you don’t want to get any part of you caught in this thing.” He trusted her and she nodded, picking up her tracking once more. “My axe can find it if I concentrate, but the lock moves everytime I’m here.” She stopped once more and smirked. “There you are.” Without breaking her stare she abruptly flipped the axe over, holding it by its staff just below the blade to insert the bottom-end into a non-descript hole. 

Slowly, too slowly for anyone’s liking, she twisted it anti-clockwise, counting calmly in a mumble. Once she hit ‘sieben’ there was a noisy *clang*, followed by the sound of metal sliding against metal. Marceline kept the axe in place, glancing over her shoulder at the rest of her friends. “Okay kids. After I take my bass back we’re going to have about seven seconds to get through the Gate, or… well, let’s not think about the ‘or’, let’s just not suck. Cool? Awesome.” With no further discussion Marceline withdrew her instrument, but the fence didn’t move. With no hesitation Finn charged forward through the metal Gate, Jake right behind him. When the Unifier didn’t move the stronger vampire shoved her forward, who responded with another icy glare, once again to no effect. After she cleared the Gate as well Marceline addressed her maybe-lover out of the corner of her eye, bowing sarcastically. “Shall I escort m’lady across the threshold?” That was another glare she also ignored, trailing behind the princess as they crossed the barrier, just before another sound of metal sliding across metal, followed by another *clang*.

Outside of the fence the world was silent and disquieting. Inside the fence was another story entirely; a deep bass oozed from the Tree Fort, a thumping noise that, by all logic, should have brought the Structure down with its force. Of course, logic had no place in the vampire queen’s mind. As it stood the vibrations had forced the brothers into a coughing fit, only relieved when the Unifier wordlessly placed a hand over each of their chests. At once they could breathe, but before either could respond she was joining her other self at the door, which was shaking just as much as the tree itself. Seemingly immune to the deafening music Marceline approached the door, knocking twice. The music instantly ceased, and moments later the decaying door opened, just enough for a garnet eye to poke itself out, accompanied by an all-too-amused voice. “Mmyes?” The humor dropped from Marceline’s voice and body language and was instead replaced by something more authoritative than any of the outsiders had ever seen. Bonnibel arched an eyebrow in curiosity, but said nothing, instead letting her - and this one was her’s - musician work. 

“Hey loser. Let us in.” 

Behind the door was an audible snicker. “Yeah? What’s the password?”

“We have a nerd alert.”

Evidently that was the right thing to say, because now the previously impish voice rose to something of excitement. “Wait, seriously?!” The door opened, and before them floated another a new Marceline, this one in a light grey t-shirt, plum pants, and violet footware that seemed unsure as to whether or not they wanted to be short enough to be shoes or long enough to be boots. Her hair was in complete disarray, probably a side-effect of the unreasonably raucous music that she was no doubt in the middle of moments before. She only briefly noted Finn and Jake, her eyes widening when she saw everything pink and perfect standing before her. “Oh no way.” With great delight this new Marceline turned to shout behind her, “Hey! We have a nerd alert!” Someone - the other new vampire Bonnibel assumed - shouted something indecipherable from within the house and this one turned back to them. “Come on in.” 

Yet Marceline stopped her from returning to her home, grabbing her shoulder not-too roughly. “Hold up. Which one are you?” 

The new queen blinked. “Linke.” 

In one swift movement Marceline removed her wristband, attaching it to Linke’s wrist instead. “There. Now we can tell you apart.”

Linke immediately looked indignant. “Hey!” Not seeming to care, Marceline pushed past her, gesturing for the rest of the party to follow her as she returned her bass to her back.

It was immediately apparent to Finn as to why Marceline had seen fit to designate Linke the moment she saw her; floating just inside the foyer was a second new vampire, identical to Linke in every way. Her arms were crossed, her look almost smug. “Well well. You’re breaking all sorts of rules, aren’t you Se-” A grey hand was immediately clasped over her mouth. 

“They don’t know who I am. Don’t tell them. Let me deal with it.” This second Marceline - Rechte, if Finn recalled correctly - responded by trying to bite her, but the hand was withdrawn too quickly. “Besides, the rule is dumb. We made it before these dorks got here. Doesn’t apply.”

Finn raised his hand. “Uh… what rule?” 

Before Marceline could further defend herself Rechte spoke for her, the smug look never fading. “Not trading with the wad for one. Not letting the Tyrant out for another. I’m gonna guess she’s the one who bit it?” At Bonnibel’s wince Rechte raised an eyebrow, just as the Unifier entered from behind, Linke dragged behind her. 

“Come on, I’ll catch you guys up. It’s been one buzz of a day.” Before her stronger part could object the Unifier snatched the messenger bag, literally pulling both Linke and Rechte up the ladder.

While the makeshift vampire family had been exchanging ‘pleasantries’ Jake had been exploring his pseudo-home’s entrance. Where there had once been a beautiful pile of monetary treasure once upon a time rested a new pile of treasure: The most high-end musical equipment he had ever seen, and he was an acquaintance of Party Pat. Four giant speakers, two on each side of the room, towered over everyone and then some. Hanging from the ceiling sat three mondo-sized spotlights, though their current ‘on’ position prevented him from seeing how exactly they were being supported. In the center of and taking of the bulk of the room rested a large, square stage made of strong tan wood that was only splintering slightly, and on that sat two twin black amplifiers that seemed bolted to the wall, situated behind identical steel microphones, one axe-bass leaning against each. In the back right corner sat a strange grey machine that reminded the dog of a fog machine he saw at the bear’s cave once, and the stage was lined by six gels, three per side. He also noted that, unlike the outside, the internal walls were free of rot or any form of corruption, still the same tan and dark brown as always.

All in all, it was one cramped but stylish room. Except for that one shiny black camera in the northwest corner, but he could ignore that.

Once Marceline was certain her three weaker selves were out of earshot she shrugged. “Well, might as well get comfy. Come on.” Without waiting for confirmation she floated up the ladder, which was as it always was. Bubblegum immediately followed behind her, leaving her champions to catch up. Just as in the real Ooo, this ladder led to the kitchen, vacant of the trio. Jake wasted no time in heading for the wonderfully intact fridge, lethargy temporarily forgotten. His delighted squeal indicated to the others that it was full of food; exactly why two vampires had a fridge full of mortal food was a puzzle he wasn’t interested in. He only cared that there was ample food available, and that the kitchen was more than equipped to handle all of his cooking needs; a fully functional stove that was somehow larger than his own, a crockpot and two pots already sitting on the burner waiting for him. Above the stove hung an off-white teapot that had a superficial crack running up the spout, and just under that a tan spice rack that he knew was definitely a new addition. Not that he was complaining, especially given that the stove area was otherwise deprived of the knickknacks that gave the room its subtle lived-in feel.

As Jake began the process of cooking what would probably end up a feast it was Finn’s turn to explore the room. He was surprised to see that his halfmoon couch made it into Marceline’s mind, though it had lost its red-color and was now a flaxen yellow. There was still a table before it, but it was smaller and square, made of walnut-brown wood. In fact, every table in the room was made of the same dark wood, just as devoid of curios as the stove area. The corner sink was an almost pristine white, and the boy found himself doubting that the Tree Fort residents ever used it.  _ I guess that makes sense, though. They don’t really eat. Then why is the fridge…?  _ That thought trailed off as he continued to scan the room. The few ornaments that lined the walls had been replaced with black speakers, the shelf free of clutter and instead full of a humongous stereo system that had too many dials and knobs to possibly be practical.  _ But then Marce is never practical, so…  _ That thought trailed off as well, and he joined the princess on the surprisingly-soft couch. Before he could inquire as to how she was holding up she rested her head on the back of the couch, closing her eyes. Deciding instead to let her rest he dropped his sword and bag on the table and went to join Jake to offer what help he could with one arm. When he caught Marceline crawling into the scientist’s lap as a tiny grey bat, as if a puffball could ever be subtle, he smiled; Bonnibel rolled onto her side, scooping up the fur pile in the process.

Above the outsiders the living room approximation held the Unifier and two reclusive vampires. Like the kitchen, the living room hadn’t changed too much, the corruption of the mindscape unable to cross the Structure’s threshold. The purple chair remained, though it was slightly larger now, able to comfortably sit two bodies. Like the tables down below the living room table was made of the same walnut-colored wood, though it sat directly on the floor, with no rug to be seen. On the table sat a green and yellow spiral horn and a large, cracked fang, which the Unifier assumed to be trophies from other monstrosities that her mind had borne. The telephone had been replaced with a turn-table, the shelves lining the walls now filled to capacity with vinyl records of various colors and styles, though the Unifier knew from experience that their covers would be blank. Mounted to the eastern and western wall were two more black speakers, though these were considerably smaller than those on the bottom floor. A boombox sat in the corner, almost hugging the bulging portion of the tree that seemed to invade the room. Though the stove was the same grey color as its real world self it had been smashed; the grates were missing, and were instead found covering the room’s large window, horribly dented in the middle by what had to be a heavy object. The surrounding wall was horribly clawed, and the Unifier was sure she didn’t want to know the story behind that.

Rechte leaned against the couch, head tilted. “So what’s up?” At first the Unifier said nothing, only frowned, not sure how much to reveal. She knew,  _ knew _ , that they needed to know about the dagger, that they needed to take a vote to decide what to do about The Bubblegum Problem, but she was still so exhausted, so drained from what had happened. There was no way to predict how either recluse would react either; Rechte had a nasty temper, even by her standards, and Linke may or may not have contact with the Usurper still. After considerable hesitation she sighed, opening the messenger bag. To her surprise the dagger wasn’t the only passenger in the bag, having completely forgotten that she had handed the princess her diary for safekeeping to prevent Jake the Professional Snooper from reading it. Whether or not Bonnibel had snooped instead was a question for a different time. As carefully as she could the Unifier wrapped the bag’s top flap around the dagger, gingerly pulling it out; she had had her literal fill of silver for the day. By the time the weapon was laid on the table Linke was already seething.   
  
“...What.”

The Unifier sighed. “Yup.”

“She  _ kept it _ ?! Are you serious?!”

Rechte rolled her eyes. “Dude, it’s right there. You can see it, stop being stupid. I know that’s hard for you, but she obvs kept it. And then she brought it into our brain. So spill, O’ Great Unifier. What happened? And why is the other us so pale?”

For a moment the Unifier said nothing, trying to decide where the story should begin, not knowing how much the twins were aware of already. Rather than turn it into a thought experiment she chose to just bite the bullet. “Answer to the second question, she made Finn a demon blood sword. With her blood.”

“Ew.”

“And apparn we’re like this because Bonnibel decided it would be a great idea to have us try on dad’s amulet. The dorks came to get us.” She wanted that to come out more bitter, really she did, but it just didn’t happen. “I tried to kick ‘em out, but Finn and Jake did that eye thing.” Linke’s mutter of ‘cheap shot’ went noticed but unacknowledged, and the vessel continued. “They want us to be whole, so we got the bright idea to go after the lunatic. The ‘Usurper’. Chased her to the Candy Kingdom. That’s when we found the dagger. Or… more like Bubblegum threw the dagger at her. Nice shot, but you know, still messed up.”

“Is that when the first of us got ganked?”

“Yeah. Head ripped off. I wanted them out of the brain like then, but Finn and Jake did the eye thing again, so we got back to the Cave House, where that one was waiting for us. Didn’t take long after for them to find the Tyrant.”

Rechte snickered. “Lemme guess. You let her out? Nice.”

A grunt was the response.   
  
“How’d that go? You seem alive. Or, you know. Whatevs we are. So yeah, good job I guess. You’re less terrible than I thought.”

“We’re alive because Bubblegum wouldn’t let her murder us. She wants us to be whole. We got the big idea to go after the Usurper  _ again _ . Chased her to the cabin.”

“Went bad?”

“Even worse than the Candy Kingdom.” Those words were spat, and Linke tilted her head, plopping herself on the couch. 

“What happened?”

“Cheap shot, but she’s full of those. Shoved a bunch of silver down my throat. I wasn’t really with it for the rest, but she basically made Bonnibel choose between me and Tyrant. So she ganked her and I ate her soul, coughed up the silver…” The revolted shudder made her trail off.

“So you guys made it here? Lemme guess… you’re here expecting us to open a portal for you like the good little shards we are?,” the sarcasm so palpable the Unifier was surprised it didn’t spring forth in physical form.

Instead, she nodded. “She’s going after the wad, and if she kills her the rest of us probs won’t be strong enough to beat her.”

Rechte snorted. “What, and you expect her to  _ help _ you? You know what her help is like.” 

The Unifier’s scowl confirmed that she did indeed know what her special brand of help was like. “Yeah, but it’s what we’ve got. So we need you guys to open the portal-”

“Nope.”

The Unifier slowly turned to Linke. “Run that by me again?”

The other vampire crossed her arms, almost pouting. “Nope.”

“Dude, don’t tell me you’re  _ still  _ working with the Usurper?”

“Flip no. She makes me look bad by association! But no way I’m helping Bonnie after that.” Her rude gesture towards the dagger also went unacknowledged. 

Rechte frowned at her. “Guy, not everything is about you.” 

Now it was Linke’s turn to glower. “That’s impossible.  _ Everything _ is about us. It’s how survival works, and we’re all really good at surviving. We do the things that benefit us. If it helps others it’s because  _ that  _ benefits us, and doing what  _ Her Highness  _ wants doesn’t benefit me. So… no.” 

Choosing to ignore her twin, Rechte turned back to the Unifier. “So, I guess we got some biz to deal with. You want to get to the wad. I get that. But first thing’s first; what are we doing about Bonnibel? You guys already working on a plan for that, or are you twiddling your thumbs?” 

The Unifier shrugged, ignoring the acrid tone so typical of her other self. “Taking a vote. No one’s really forgiven her, since what she did was messed up to the extreme, but the Tyrant and other guy want to hear her out. We know the Usurper hates her, she’s made that way clear.”

“Where are you on it?”

She didn’t want to hesitate, but did nonetheless. “I don’t think we should give her the chance. She’s already done enough to us. You know, the manipulation, the using us, all that junk. She’s been doing it for literally hundreds of years, you think she’s gonna stop now?” 

Linke didn’t seem to understand that it was a rhetorical question. “I’m with you. No way I’m gonna be her puppet. We got our own life, let’s live that.” She turned to her twin expectantly, but Rechte seemed to consider the situation to much for her liking. 

“Eh… I’d like to get her side.”

“What side? You just heard Our Glorious Leader.”

“Look, there two sides to every story, and I want to hear her’s.”

Linke seemed utterly baffled. “...Why?”

“Because if we’re going to do something as messed up as she did I want to at least get her story. I’m not sure if I wanna hear her out about the dagger, but I want to talk to her.”

Now her twin frowned. “Dude, what are you even doing? We have to live with us. We  _ don’t  _ have to live with her.”

Rechte shrugged. “Mind’s made up. Besides, I’m stronger than you and I’d love an excuse to throw you into the window grate again. You make the best noise when your spine breaks.” Before either of her other selves could object she rose from her leaning position, flying back downstairs, just in time to see Jake serving up three omelettes. “Well, at least you haven’t changed.” The humor was evident, but before she could follow-up on her little joke Linke joined the party, ready to lay into Bonnibel, but instead chose the older hero. 

“Hey! That’s my food, Jake!” 

Marceline opened her eye at the commotion, detaching herself from the stirring princess. When she resumed her normal form she crossed her arms, displeasure highly evident. “You can’t even eat it! Besides, I’m the one who traded for it!” That did nothing to dissuade the angry vampire, but before a fight could break out - one that Linke would undoubtedly lose, Rechte pushed her away. 

“Shh. Adults are talking.” She covered her mouth before addressing Marceline. “So I hear we have a traitor problem, and that you want us to vote on what we do about it?” The tone was matter-of-fact, free of accusations or aggression, and the other queen matched it. 

“Yup.” 

Rechte nodded thoughtfully. “And you’re in the ‘give Bonnie a chance’ camp and totally not trying to throw your strength around to make the rest of us do what you want because you think you know best?” 

Now Marceline rubbed the back of her neck, a nervous gesture everyone recognized. “Well… sort of. I mean, I forgave her-”

“WHAT?!”

Everyone turned to meet the furious glare of the Unifier, who had dropped the messenger bag to the floor in her shock. 

Marceline straightened, eyes narrowing. “I forgave her.” It was said with such conviction, such determination, that the room’s collective residents could feel the chill behind her words. Behind the feuding walking corpses Jake began to eat furiously, engrossed in the drama before him. Finn, on the other hand, ate slowly, ready to separate his friends if necessary. Beside him Bonnibel watched carefully, flawlessly hiding her surprise.  _ She… forgave me? I didn’t mishear her? _

“What the flip gives you the right to forgive her?!”

“Look, Unifier, I don’t care what you guys do, but I made my choice, so you have to deal.”

“You’re only forgiving her because of what you are,” the Unifier snarled, fingers twitching in repressed rage as she fought back the urge to draw her axe. 

In response, Marceline spoke through clenched teeth. “Yeah, and I’m a huge part of our brain. So what does that say?”

Before a fight could erupt both potential combatants were forcefully shoved to opposite ends of the room by what Bubblegum belatedly realized was a powerful telekinetic force. If Rechte’s expression of exasperation was any indicator it was her doing. “Enough! Man you guys are loud.” She looked to Finn. “Have they been doing this the whole time?”

Jake answered for him with a half-hearted shrug. “Eh. Off and on.” 

When the vampires’ stances turned aggressive once more Rechte forced them back down again, now turning to watch Bonnibel. “And where are you in this?” The subtext: You don’t seem to be trying very hard to stop them from killing each other. 

But the princess heard the accusation loud and clear, and she bristled. “I’m trying to get you home. The Tyrant sacrificed herself to help you become whole, and I refuse to let that be in vain.” Rechte raised an eyebrow, but didn’t interrupt. “To that matter, I’ve been analyzing our last confrontation with the Usurper. There are too many unanswered questions and too much unexplained. If we’re going to stop her-”

“What’s unexplained?” Once again, the matter-of-fact tone had returned, but it was laced with irritation. 

The scientist bristled once more, this time from being interrupted. “I had assumed her goal was to kill us, but she left just after the Tyrant…” Her pause was full of enough pain to fill a lifetime. 

Rechte continued where she left off. “She left after the Tyrant was killed, but left the rest of you alone, and you don’t know why, do you?” The new vampire sounded almost disappointed, and Bonnibel responded by taking a deep, steadying breath. 

“Yes. It makes absolutely no sen-”

“No, it makes perfect sense.”

When she failed to elucidate Bubblegum failed to control her ire. “And  _ why,  _ Marceline, does it make perfect sense?”

But Rechte didn’t solve that mystery for her. She only fitted her lover with a firm look, a look that the princess wasn’t used to seeing her Marceline wear. Beside her Finn continued to watch the interaction carefully, meal forgotten. Jake, on the other hand, yawned and slid off the couch, not that anyone noticed as he mumbled; his full belly had summoned his exhaustion back two-fold, and he was now in search of some place quiet and warm to rest. Rechte sighed. “You seriously want us to open a portal so you can convince the wad to be a decent person, and you can’t even get over yourselves. You’re being children, and I live with this one.” She gestured vaguely to Linke, who pouted once more. In contrast to the room’s female inhabitants, Finn spoke calmly. He was more than used to dealing with belligerent gatekeepers. 

“Come on, ladybro. We just want to take you home.” 

Rechte gave him a pitying look. “Finn, bud, you seem to have your act together. But there’s no way you can beat the Usurper if  _ their majesties  _ here can’t even be in the same room without exploding at each other. The wad will eat them alive, and at this rate they’ll deserve it for being so lame they’re almost stupid.”

“But-”

Her attention was no longer on him. It was on the three misbehaving royals in question, whom were addressed in turn. “You,” she pointed to the Unifier, “need to chill out. I’m gonna guess that with the Tyrant in you you’re dealing with some wonked out feelings, and it’s messing with you, but you can’t take it out on everyone else. You knew what your gig was, so suck it up. You can’t be our leader unless you get your head out of our perfect butt. You,” now she turned to Marceline, “stop being a hypocrite. You can’t just do stuff on our behalf and then say you’re acting alone. There is no alone, we’re all connected, and I’d expect you especially to know that, yeah? Other people have stuff going on too. As for you,” now her pointed look was aimed at the scientist, but she paused. When she spoke her voice lost its edge, becoming uncomfortably controlled. “You’ve been through a lot lately. I get that. But it’s only gonna get worse, and you’re not dealing with it anywhere near as well as you think you are.” 

Bubblegum straightened defiantly, unwittingly slipping into her Most Diplomatic Voice. “I’m quite fine, Marceline.” 

Rechte frowned, watching her carefully. When she spoke again her voice was just as controlled, but far quieter. Almost melancholy. “You’re not, though. I know you. Better than you know you. I always have. You let yourself go, Bonnie.” Before her girlfriend could object she turned to Linke, flicking her in the head to get her attention. “You wanna have some fun? Make yourself useful.” 

Linke’s brief irritation at being minorly assaulted turned to elation at the prospect of mischief. “Yeah? What you got?” 

Rechte smirked. “I need to talk to Bonnie, and I need these two,” she hooked her thumb at the remaining half-demons, “out of the way and out of their own pity-parties.”

The Unifier growled. “What the flip?! What makes you think you-” 

Rechte turned and shot her a cold stare. “You’re both being idiots. You’re  _ all  _ being idiots. You’re hundreds of years old. You’re way too old to be this immature. Someone has to actually be competent. Honestly, I’d expect better from all of you.” She turned back to Linke, the cold stare now an arrogant grin. “See? Now doesn’t helping me deal with them sound fun?”

Linke brightened, smiling almost childishly. “That  _ does  _ sound fun! Can I play with Finn while you do the thing?” There was a certain darkness in her voice at the prospect of ‘playing’ with Finn, but it was ignored by her twin. 

“Go nuts. But drop those two off first. They gotta get over themselves and suck it up.” 

Linke grinned. “Oh, I know  _ just  _ the place to get them out of their rut.” Rechte nodded as her fellow recluse started to drag Marceline and the Unifier downstairs, the former having just enough time to grab Bonnibel’s bag in the vain hope that the dagger was still inside. There was a lump, but she had no time to tell what it was, because the front door had been telekinetically forced open and they were both forced outside. Alarmed, Finn and Bubblegum chased the three downstairs, just in time to see a large bird take off from the ground, two contained vampires clutched in its talons.

The princess stood, utterly baffled at the sudden turn of events. One moment the group was having a tense but relatively peaceful conversation, the next two of the queens had been vampire-napped by a large falcon, who, aside from the grey coloration, was very familiar to the woman. She would recognize it anywhere, even if it did lack its crown.  _ Did… did Marceline just turn into The Morrow?  _ It wasn’t an unheard of form; her mate enjoyed shapeshifting in general, and would choose The Morrow as her avian form if she needed to be somewhere in a hurry, but it was an exceedingly rare occurrence, and despite the absurdity of the situation the younger woman found herself unable to help wondering what would possess her perhaps-girlfriends to choose that form over, say, her preferred bat form.

But the candy golem had no time to properly ponder the turn of events; Rechte, chuckling softly, was already pulling her back up the ladder. Finn could only look on helplessly, glancing frantically between the large half-demon-bird absconding with her friends and the vampire queen dragging his remaining ladybro back upstairs. In a moment he realized that he had absolutely no way of catching up to Linke, but he did stand a chance in protecting Bonnibel from what appeared to be a suddenly hostile Marceline. He managed to chase them up to the kitchen before he caught up.

“Wait! Rechte!” 

That did give her pause, and she tilted her head at the boy. With a smile that seemed almost gentle an invisible force forced him back, depositing him firmly on the couch. She snickered at his shocked expression. “Someone will be with you shortly.” He was only released when Bubblegum was pushed up the ladder into the living room. Too slowly Finn regained his wits, and by the time he chased after them he found himself under to cross the threshold to the upper floor, nor was he able to hear anything at all. 

“Rechte! Princess!”

The younger woman regained her senses faster than her champion, but only after the reclusive vampire pushed her onto the purple chair. Green eyes narrowed suspiciously as the vampire sat herself on the opposite table, smirking in derision at the other woman’s indignant expression. For almost fifteen seconds neither said a word, only meeting each other’s eye. The princess was giving the half-demon the most icy glare she could manage, but to her disbelief the singer seemed all but immune, a startling departure from the Marceline she knew. Just as she was about to say something - not that she knew what - Rechte rested her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, a smug grin dominating her face.   
  
“So I hear you’re having a bad day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	15. Catharsis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: I realized too late that my timing was off, and my due date is a week later than I thought it was. So, chapter that's keeping pace with the others, yay! I ended up needing to split this one because it got rather long (see, this is why I don't list how many chapters are left). Once again, thank you so much to all my awesome bookmark-ers, kudos-ers, and commentators. I've said this many times before, but you're the ones who encourage me to pump out a chapter a week on average. I'll continue to do my best to provide an enjoyable story.
> 
> I still haven't thought of a good name for my universe. This is getting out of hand. Come back later.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Literally no Finn or Jake (they've got their own things going on!)  
> Mind Games with Good Intentions  
> A Whole Bunch of References  
> Arguable Fluff (it's hard to tell with Rechte)  
> One Giant Conversation

**** Princess Bubblegum refused to dignify Rechte’s oh-so-cocky statement with a proper reaction. Instead she crossed her arms defiantly, leaning back in the chair she had been so gracefully dropped into. The two immortals stared at one another, one in disgust and the other in delight at the predicament. Garnet eyes searched piercing green ones, but what for the younger woman couldn’t say. This entire exchange was already unusual; in the real Ooo it was almost unheard of for Marceline to call Bonnibel out on her behavior so severely, and never in public. Whatever part of her vampire Rechte was didn’t seem to care for tradition, having disregarded their normal rules for engagement in favor of poking the candy golem with the proverbial stick.  _ She’s still Marcy, though. Still hot-tempered and impatient. I just need to wait her out. Once she blows up I can stop all this. _

But Rechte wasn’t blowing up. She was just sitting on the table - actually sitting - and observing her mate curiously, expectantly. They were at an impasse, and Bubblegum was slowly beginning to realize that their stalemate was grating on her more than it was grating on her opponent. Because that’s what this Marceline was right now; a foe attempting to do something, most likely break the princess down for whatever motive. Forethought was not Marceline’s strong suit. Strategy, real strategy, wasn’t her forte. She was never calm, not when confronted with a competitor. It was taboo to challenge the scientist in front of others, especially people of consequence, like her gallant champions. And she never sat without being told to. This whole situation was unusual and wrong and against her better judgment the princess found herself becoming antsy. She knew what this was now. It was the same game they always played; the first one to speak was relegated to the meek role, at a disadvantageous position right from the beginning. It wasn’t a position Bonnibel wanted to be in - least of all around her naturally more submissive girlfriend - but desperate times were calling for desperate measures. She couldn’t predict what or who this half-demon was, and her only option was to go on the offensive.

“Where are Marceline and the Unifier?”

Rechte tilted her head before offering a half-hearted shrug. “Don’t worry about them right now, Bonnie. Let’s talk about you.” Her voice was too calm, almost soothing. 

Green eyes narrowed. “What did you do with them?” 

A black eyebrow arched. “Technically I didn’t do anything with them. Linke did.” When the candy golem felt her temper flare the vampire lifted her hand, visibly resisting a laugh. “But I get the point of the question. They’re probably fine.” 

A pink hand clenched into a fist. “Probably?” 

Her adversary nodded. “Probably. I mean, I have an idea where she put them, so it’s up to them whether or not they make it back here. But I’m not suicidal, Bon. I’m not doing this for kicks. You gotta trust me on this one.” 

The fist was tight enough to turn pink knuckles white. “Why the flip should I trust you?” 

The half-demon rolled her eyes. “Have I actually done anything to make you  _ not  _ trust me, or are you just upset because I said some mean things?” Bonnibel opened her mouth, then closed it as her mind turned those words over.  _ She technically hasn’t actually done anything malicious. I have no proof she’s hurt the others. She just-  _ “But like I said, don’t worry about them right now. We’re here to talk about you. I hear you’re having a mega harsh time lately. You wanna tell me about it?”

The younger royal pulled her knees to her chest, suddenly feeling too exposed. “No.” 

Rechte nodded. “Yeah, kind of expected that.” She paused, watching her companion thoughtfully. “I’m not here to start something, Bon. I just wanna know your side.” 

It was becoming a conscious decision to repress her Most Diplomatic Voice. “I thought the Unifier already told you about the dagger?”

Another nod. “She did, but that’s not what I mean. I wanna know your side about all the junk that’s happened. You know, how we got like this in the first place.”

The conscious decision was becoming more difficult. “I would assume she told you about my reasoning-”

“Yup, but that’s not what I want to hear about. I want to hear from  _ you _ , about  _ you _ . Stop avoiding me and just tell me what happened.”

Bubblegum said nothing at first, watching her estranged-lover. This entire turn of events was surreal, too foreign for her normal rules of interaction to apply. She would have to step carefully, at least until she knew the singer’s endgame. If she even had an endgame. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Marceline. “And what exactly do you want to know?” Her voice was tightly controlled, as if one wrong syllable could cost her the match. 

Rechte stretched, betraying that she was just as comfortable with this confrontation as Bonnibel was uncomfortable. “Well, all this mess didn’t come from nowhere. You and I have been together for five centuries.” A pause. “Six?” A second pause, then a shrug. “Eh. Doesn’t matter. The point is that I’ve been avoiding taking the old man’s place in the Nightosphere for hundreds of years, and you’ve known me almost as long. So what changed?” When the younger royal didn’t respond Rechte tried a different strategy. “Bonnie, your feelings and stuff are just as valid as ours. I know this stuff hasn’t been easy for you. The dagger thing… I can’t make a decision about that without knowing why you did it, and I know that relates to me not wanting to take over the Nightosphere and you trying to force that down my throat. Or… into my throat, I guess. So tell me what’s up.”

Now the hand unclenched as Bonnibel searched her vampire’s face for sincerity and finding it in abundance.  _ This is so… bonkers. She was just so aggressive to her counterparts. Is this the real her? Was that?  _ For now, she decided, it was best to play her game, at least until she could locate an opening in her charade. She began slowly, cautiously. “I need a royal suitor, Marceline. You know I do. I felt you were ready to fulfill your birthright and that all you required was a gentle nudge. Had I considered-”

“Stop it.”

At the firm tone Bubblegum did indeed stop. “...Excuse me?”

“You’re avoiding me again.”

“How am I avoiding you, Marceline?” The tone was a challenge, but Rechte didn’t rise to it. 

“You’re giving me the smarty-pants answer. Bon, I  _ know  _ you need someone that can help you level up your throne. I get the logical reasoning you want to make an excuse with. I don’t care about that.”

“The what  _ do  _ you care about?”

“I care about the stuff under all the logic you’re trying to distract me with. The real reason you did all this.”

Bonnibel bristled, freely letting the indignation seep into her voice. “I told you the ‘real reason’. In order for me to ascend-” 

Rechte interrupted her with an over-exaggerated sigh. “Alright, let’s try this instead. True or false time. You feel bad about what you did to us.”

“Marceline, you know-”

“Nope. Simple statement, Bon. True or false, you feel bad about what you did to us.”

The princess took a deep, steadying breath, answering with her exhale.  _ Alright, I’ll play your game. Then I’ll dismantle it.  _ “True.”

“Cool. True or false. You want to do something about it.”

“Marceline, I obviously want to do something about it if I entered your mind to bring-”

“Bonnie. No. Stop. True or false.” Still no ire made it into the half-demon’s voice, nor her posture. She was far too collected and controlled, way too unlike every other part of Marceline the candy golem had met so far. 

She sat on edge. “...True.”

“True or false. You’re standing by your claim that you love us, whatever that word means for you.” There was no bitterness lacing the qualification, and Bubblegum found herself unprepared for it. At once her heart-rate elevated, but there was no point in attempting to control it because there was no possible way Rechte couldn’t hear it. The inquiry had been too unexpected: it lacked all presumption of what ‘love’  _ should  _ mean, and was too concentrated on what it meant for her in particular.  _ Some part of Marceline knew and accepted that I cannot love her as most girlfriends love one another? Or at least… maybe I can’t?  _ She cursed emotions and their illogical rules for how one should act, their unpredictability, the confusion that seemed to exist hand-in-hand with emotional connection. With intimacy. It was something she had never admitted to Marceline before, but commencing a relationship with the vampire had been an idea she had wrestled with long before admitting her attraction to the other woman, even within the sanctity of her own mind. The taller woman was undeniably wild, brash, and dramatic. Unpredictable. Mercurial. So very unlike her in some important ways. Bonnibel in no way blamed Finn for his confusion upon the reveal of their relationship status: to the uninformed it had to look absurd. It certainly did to Bonnibel, hundreds of years ago.

She had been skeptical of the queen at first, having heard the legends of the person who had single-handedly annihilated an entire species and resolved to remain guarded against her, keeping a close eye from afar. But the singer was curious, and Bonnibel found her curiosity annoyingly persistent. Over time her walls began to crumble, and in their place she found an odd affection for the other woman. She was playful, charming, cunning, and sincere; Marceline never said or did anything unless she wanted to and meant to, and she found that delightfully refreshing after her less-than-ideal childhood and her less-than-caring makeshift family. They were friends first, teaching one another about the world around them through two different sets of eyes. Bonnibel was introduced to the concerts and sounds she had once thought distasteful but now realized were merely an acquired taste, and the half-demon had, for the first time in over a hundred years, met her match in a woman so unlike anything she had ever seen or anyone she had ever met; bookish, confident, and insatiably inquisitive. The two had seemed familiar to one another at first, as if they had met somewhere ruined long ago, but couldn’t fathom why and chocked it up to their being drawn to one another. Friendship gave way to allure, then romantic intention when both found themselves equally smitten.

Those centuries ago, when she first attacked the dilemma of intimacy with scientific detachment and outlined their respective differences with surgical precision she was startled yet pleasantly surprised to see that they had far more in common than they ever did in opposition. It was another pleasant surprise to see that there was a pleasant surprise at all. It certainly didn’t hurt her companion’s prospects when she immediately demonstrated a strong desire to protect the candy golem; she had been quite adamant that the way to discourage a predator was with a bigger predator, and Bonnibel had to admit that Marceline could be absolutely terrifying in the right circumstances. She found herself afraid of the half-demon only once, and her soon-to-be-lover’s reaction was to vow never to use her strength to hurt the young scientist. The stories of her enacting genocide out of her promise to protect the endangered creatures known as humans made it impossible to deny her resolve in keeping oaths, and, to her own shock, Bubblegum found herself believing her before she even knew it was happening. 

More importantly though, it justified her attraction, confirmed that there was little to no danger in trusting the vampire - despite her questionable lineage and dislike of all forms of duty and responsibility - and she allowed herself to indulge first her intrigue, then, far later, her baser physical urges. Still, the nagging had always persisted in the back of her mind, the knowledge that there could never be a complete connection because her own capacity to feel and express emotion was limited, perhaps not existing at all, while Marceline lacked a similar ability in terms of logic and reason.  _ And yet… here we are. I never expected any part of her to ever be this calm and controlled when faced with such a charged situation, yet I cannot what’s right in front of my eyes. If I could be wrong about a detail that crucial could I also be wrong about…?  _

“True.”

She waited for the mockery, the accusation. It never came. “Okay. True or false. You know you’ve been doing some messed up stuff to me for a long time.”

There was no hesitation this time, and Rechte did nothing to hide her pleasant surprise. “True.”

“Alright, last one. True or false. You’re doing a rockin’ job at changing that.”

At first Bonnibel said nothing to the statement, not wanting to implicate herself, but her reticence didn’t last long. She had yet to decipher what exactly Rechte was up to, and so she had no way of knowing what information was safe to reveal and what needed to be closely guarded. With no data one way or the other she resolved to do what she did best as a scientist: watch and observe, and if that meant revealing something that sensitive it would be a trifle in the long run. “...False.” 

Rechte smiled. “Now we’re getting somewhere.” 

The scientist drew her nails across the couch’s fabric in an aimless desire to sharpen her focus. “And where exactly are we going, Marceline?”

“I told you, Bon.” There was humor of all things in her response, and it immediately set off alarm bells in the younger woman. If Rechte noticed she didn’t care. “I know you better than you know you. I see what you’re doing, so I’m going to make you see it too.” She stopped then, noting her mate’s tense posture, carefully restrained fidgets, distrustful gaze. She saw her exhaustion, how raw and exposed she must have felt. Deep down she supposed her heart may even be going out to the candy golem, if it was alive at least. Nevertheless, she continued. “Here’s the thing, nerd. The problem is that you don’t let yourself feel because you’re afraid you’ll find out you’re just as vulnerable as everyone else. But if you feel something you feel something, and you gotta get over that squick.”

“Marceline, I don’t-”

“Now stop fighting me and tell me your side.” Now her tone was becoming firmer, almost harder. Almost, but not quite, it was still within the acceptable range of ‘compassionate’. “Because here’s what it comes down to. It’s not enough to  _ want  _ to do better. You have to actually do better, and what I just saw out there? That’s not you doing better. I don’t know what the flip you and the Unifier have going on right now, but it’s not you doing better. You’re… what? The smartest person in Ooo? Bonnie, you know how to figure messes out. So take this time and figure  _ you _ out, alright? Otherwise you’re gonna keep doing whatever you’re doing, which is obvs not working, or I wouldn’t have had to pull you in here so we could get some one-on-one quality time. And not the fun type of quality time either.”

The fact that any part of Marceline could be logical in any way, shape, or form was unsettling to the princess, but she refused to let that show, refused to give her the satisfaction. Now Rechte was starting to move on the offensive, and there was absolutely no way Bubblegum was going to let that go unanswered. “I am perfectly capable of understanding and interpreting emotions, Marceline, but I elect not to act on them because they are counterproductive and unpredictable. Such instability is not well-suited to leading-”

“Bon, whether you like it or not you having emotions is what got us here in the first place. All that talk about cold and unfeeling logic is just bunk you tell yourself so you can keep thinking you’re invulnerable. You’re not invulnerable, Bonnie, I’ve seen you vulnerable. I’ve held you when you were vulnerable. I’ve sung you to sleep before because that little voice deep in you thinks you just don’t do enough and you listen and almost kill yourself in the process.” At the reminder of how the vampire often lulled the princess to bed she flushed deeply, but to her credit Rechte chose not to draw attention to her embarrassment, instead pressing onward. “You don’t open up to us. You’ve  _ never  _ opened up to us-”

“There’s nothing to open-”

“ _ Stop fighting me.  _ And stop fighting you. Because whatever we decide to do about your super-obvious betrayal you have your own choice to make. You can stay with us, or you can leave, and I’m gonna guess you’ve been having some thoughts about leaving.” The assertion went uncontested; the half-demon wasn’t probing for information, nor was she leaving the scientist room to argue. She was too self-assured that she was right, and not even Bubblegum could say she was wrong.

Seeing no danger in confirming her perhaps-lover’s suspicions she nodded slowly. “That’s true, yes. After all of the events that have transpired recently I have begun to consider the long-term detriments and benefits to our relationship, especially where you and your-”  _ insecurities  _ “-needs are concerned.” 

To her surprise Rechte ignored that bait, entirely focused instead on whatever trail she was tracking, unwilling to be distracted from her hunt. Bonnibel was suddenly reminded of why Marceline referred to herself in all seriousness as a predator. “Now we’re getting somewhere. You know why you’re thinking of leaving? Because all of these changes you’re trying to make are one big experiment that’s not going your way and you can’t flippin’ figure out why.” Once more Bonnibel opened her mouth to argue, then closed it when she couldn’t formulate an adequate response.  _ She’s… not wrong.  _ Apparently Rechte caught the brief glimmer of uncertainty in her eyes because her voice calmed once more, returning to its almost gentle tone. “Come on Bonnie. That’s not like you to just quit. If this were any other experiment and you were hitting a dead end like this, what would you do?” 

After a moment of hesitation Bonnibel considered both the actual question and its implication. “I would prefer to stop treating you like an experiment…” 

Rechte was unamused. “Try it anyway. You might like what you find when you get off your own personal Percy.” 

She ignored the snide remark, too engrossed in the mental exercise posed to her. “Very well. If I were to consider this situation as any other experiment I would have to consider that some base assumption of mine was incorrect, leading to a flawed protocol.” 

Rechte smirked. “Cool, so what’s the flawed… proto-thing?” 

But Bubblegum was no longer listening to her half-demon, attention monopolized. “Some assumption I’m using as the foundation is erroneous. Why didn’t I take notes?” 

Her frown elicited a snicker from Rechte. “Want a hint, dork?” 

Though she was loathe to admit it, she did, and swallowed her pride to prove it. “...Fine. One hint.” 

The singer graciously refrained from pointing out her humility. “Problem’s not with what you think  _ we’re  _ doing. Problem’s with what you think  _ you’re  _ doing.”

Bubblegum’s response was a pointed glare. “That didn’t actually answer anything, Marceline.” 

Rechte snorted. “Come on, you’re the genius. I’m not doing all the work for you. How all this ends is up to you, dork. Not me. Not them. You. Stop fighting me, and stop fighting you, because this entire biz is getting old fast. Figure it out.” The frustrated scientist watched her then, watched her carefully, trying to pick up on any signs of overt hostility. But there weren’t any. Yes, she was clearly exasperated by the situation, and while she was remaining more civil than anticipated she was still irate, but there was no animosity, and the pink matriarch was beginning to wonder if Rechte was attempting to pick a fight at all. Yet the fact remained that she was still speaking in riddles, and not actually lending any substantial assistance except to egg her on. 

“This is hardly about me, Marceline-” 

The vampire smirked. “Knew you were gonna say that. It is, Bon. It always has been.”

“And what exactly does that mean, Marceline?”

The half-demon scratched her chin in pondrence. “We’re like this, brain broken and all, because you wanted us to put on the amulet, right? Not because  _ we _ wanted to. So why was it so important to you?” 

Bonnibel despised repeating herself, and did nothing to hide that fact. “In order for me to rise to the status of queen and cement my power both within the Candy Kingdom and-”

“Or!” Cold hands clapped together, jolting the pink-haired woman out of her lecture. “You didn’t really need me to take the amulet for that to be true, and you knew it.”

“What-”

“I know Kingdom law, Bon. I didn’t help you write any of it, but I hid in the room enough when you signed all those important-looking documents. I’m the  _ heir  _ to the Nightosphere. The  _ declared  _ heir. Dad’s never been shy about wanting me to take over his job so he can go play golf with Death or whatever suits do. Didn’t even think about having anyone else do it.” 

Abruptly the explanation came to a halt, and Bonnibel found herself waiting for her lover to continue. When that didn’t happen she decided to instead. “Where are you-”

“So here’s a question.”

She stopped again, and Bubblegum clenched her hand.  _ She waited to interrupt me. On purpose. That… butt!  _ Only then, only in that heated moment, was Bonnibel reminded that she wasn’t the only monarch in the room to have tactics to deal with troublesome dignitaries, or whatever Marceline did in her spare time. Bonnibel’s own strategies involved intimidation and unsettlement, mind games designed to throw allies and enemies alike off balance to provide her with the opportune moment to land her blow. But Marceline had her own games, and with a chill running down her spine - expertly hidden - the younger woman saw that they were games the vampire never played with her, scenarios she had rarely seen at all despite their prolonged relationship. Too late she began to understand her disadvantage; Rechte knew all of her tricks, but who knew how many tricks of her own the older monarch had? But there was one she  _ did  _ know, and that was Marceline’s propensity to disrupt expertly crafted speeches with something crude yet poignant. It was the antithesis to her own battle strategies: Bubblegum would overwhelm with logic and reason until the enemy was backed into a corner, but Marceline would rip the carpet from under their feet and watch all their careful plans crash and burn. Which was exactly what she was doing now.

An ‘anti-Princess Bubblegum’ deterrent if there ever was one.

_ She’s watched me work on hundreds of emissaries and dignitaries in the past in countless circumstances, but all of her royal duties and important occurrences - if the Nightosphere can even be called such or have any - have been behind closed doors. She has always been so loathe to perform any semblance of duty or responsibility I never saw fit to follow her when she does. Is this how she operates when she can’t use her fists but needs to subdue an opponent?  _ Admittedly, it was intimidating in its own right. Never before had Bonnibel needed to contest her girlfriend in a battle of wits. Marceline was clever, the princess would never argue against that, but she was also quick-tempered and impatient, which negated any serious possibility of a prolonged mental war. But Rechte was clearly different. Still impish, and still taunting her, but without the Usurper component the rage that spurred her to rash action was no longer in play, and she lacked the emotional turmoil the Unifier was suffering through that made her so trigger-happy. Linke had been all-too willing to focus entirely on herself and her desires, but her twin had no such predilection. Instead, the scientist realized, she was dealing with a Marceline who was employing reason and logic, devoid of volatile-yet-squishy emotions.

Under the jacket her skin prickled.

“You know Bon, in all our years that you’ve been on this Percy-esque crusade of yours there’s one question I’ve always been surprised you never asked me.”

“Oh?”

Now she was smirking deviously, all perfectly white sharp teeth, never a good sign. “You’ve never asked me what happens if dad just abandons ship before I ever formally accept the chaos amulet and become Head Suit.”

She released a breath she wasn’t aware she had been holding. “Marceline, we both know that your father would never dream of forsaking the Nightosphere for any-”

“Wrong.”

Bonnibel was too shocked by the sharp tone to think of any response other than, “Excuse me?” 

Rechte stretched her back, visibly enjoying her discomfort. “Bon, you’re paranoid, obsessive, and controlling. You had just met one of the most dangerous beings in Ooo, who’s the daughter of an even more of one of the most dangerous beings in Ooo. I’ve known you for most of our lives, or whatevs we have. Do you really expect me to believe that you didn’t research the lump out of me?” Bubblegum watched her carefully, her lopsided, presumptuous grin, her posture that was far too relaxed given the nature of their conversation, the knowing glint in dilated, garnet eyes. It was disquieting to be on this end of such pretension, but the curiosity to know where she was going with this, the temptation to find out if the half-demon was privy to knowledge the princess herself was not was just too much for her scientist interest to ignore. 

“...Based on the Law of Succession, which is available as a matter of public record, I assumed the Nightosphere would defer to its primary stakeholders, as any large business entity founded before the Great Mushroom War would. When we first commenced our relationship I of course investigated who those stakeholders were, only to discover that, legally speaking, the only stakeholder is you, and had been since your birth over three hundred years prior. No other beneficiary was indicated, living, dead, or otherwise. It would be impossible to alter such a rule without your father’s express consent, preventing a Motion of No Confidence, if a ruling body even exists to initiate one. Therefore, in the unlikely event of your father’s inability to operate in his capacity as Lord of Evil the dimension would automatically default to you, as his rightful heir and successor.”

Rechte nodded along with her explanation, rolling to lay on her side. “Yup. All true. But here’s the thing, dork. You’re telling me that you wanted me to take the amulet so that you had a mate with her own kingdom, which is what  _ you  _ needed in order to cement your place as Alpha Princess. But you just told me that you knew that the Nightosphere was legally mine no matter what I want, even if I never even went back there for the rest of my un-life and let it just collapse. There’s no flippin’ thing I can do about it. So!,” her hands clapped again as her eyes lit up with some dark delight, “if you already knew that I’m stuck in or with the Nightosphere no matter how much I hate it why was it so lumping important to you that I take the amulet in the first place?”

If time existed within the confines of Marceline’s mind it would have stopped. As garnet eyes bored into her Bonnibel felt herself stiffen, her own eyes widening despite her wishes as the vampire’s words sank in. Said like that, in that devil-may-care manner that may as well be the half-demon’s trademark style, the statement sounded so simple, but it clashed with Bubblegum’s reasoning so perfectly that she found herself deafened by the sound of her own ego shattering. She flushed deeply, and she hoped it was from anger, not embarrassment. 

Sometimes it was hard to tell around Marceline. 

“To… secure your birthright and ensure there would be no hostile takeover to invalidate your claim to the Citadel!” 

Rechte snorted, almost choking on her repressed laugh. “ _ That’s  _ your excuse? Weak.” Deep down, the princess agreed. Not that she’d admit that. Ever. “Come  _ on _ , Bonnie. If anyone knows how to turn legal junk into something evil and self-serving it’s dad and you know it.” She did know it; he was titled the ‘Lord of Evil’ for a reason. Her lips pursued in a fine line as her lover rolled onto her back mid-air, watching her upside-down with an insufferable, self-satisfied grin. “So yeah, let’s try this again. What’s the real reason for all this horror show?” Even if she hadn’t gestured to the world at large Bubblegum got the message, even if she didn’t have a satisfactory answer. The half-demon tilted her head, and the princess found herself reminded of why Marceline referred to herself in all seriousness as an  _ apex  _ predator.

“Now’s the part of the story where you’re honest, Bon.”

The scientist gripped her sleeve in consternation, but had no reply.

“And I mean honest with yourself.”

“...What,” came the flat response. 

Rechte nodded. “I’m not the only one you’re lying to. You’re lying to yourself, too. You’re a great liar, Bon - and I mean that factually - but somewhere along the way you forgot that truth is important, too. You’ve spent hundreds of years surrounded by half-truths and sorta-lies, and I think you can’t really tell any of it apart anymore.” The candy golem tried to rise to her own defense, but her over-active mind had already begun involuntarily breaking down her girlfriend’s claim. Before any retort could be formulated Rechte offered her a smile as affectionate as it was pitying. “For what it’s worth, though, I don’t blame you for any of this.” That snapped Bonnibel out of her thoughts, but before she could reply the singer deposited herself on the purple chair. The princess tensed at the sudden close contact, but didn’t pull away, too intrigued. Too cautious. “Like I said, I know you better than you know you.” 

Green eyes narrowed. “Explain, Marceline.”

The tone was also dangerous, not that Rechte seemed to care. “Everyone around you, even the dweebs, they’ve only ever met Princess Bubblegum, right?”

“No, they-”

“Well, except for when you got throne-jacked. Then you were just ‘Bonnibel’ to them, but that was for, what… two days?”

Bonnibel shot her a pointed look. “Marceline, I-”

“Oh, except that you were throne-jacked for like two months before I found out, and I only got to know at all because-”

“Marceline! Stop that! What is your point?”

Rechte couldn’t help her smug grin at her lover’s exasperation. “My point, Bonnie, is that except for like two days everyone has only ever known you as Princess Bubblegum. The role. But you and I go back way before you started wearing this crown.” An undead hand snatched it from the shorter woman’s head before she could react and began twirling it in long, nimble fingers. “I knew you back when you were just Bonnie. No title, just a nerd with aspirations and a bunch of pride. It’s when we fell in love. Well, not the first time, but you know.” She did, but was growing impatient. 

“And?” 

Demonic eyes rolled. “Chill out, Bon, I’m getting there.” The circlet stopped moving and was now hanging still, teasing, baiting her to try and grab it. Bubblegum resisted, wanting to hear more and Rechte rested her head on the back of the couch. “You had a dream - a really huge one, too - and you made it happen. But you weren’t the only one.” A pink eyebrow arched in a silent prod. 

“You and I have known each other most of our lives, yeah? I was around for a lot of your dream’s beginning, but you weren’t around for a lot of mine. I grew up through the lumping apocalypse. I was just a messed up kid when I got Turned. But I had a dream too, and by the time you met me I was already The Scream Queen, and everyone who mattered in Ooo knew who I was. You did.” Her voice faded, losing its teasing as she turned retrospective. “You and I have a lot in common, Bon, and one of the biggest things is that we both had big goals and we did them. But I did mine first, and I tried to warn you: just when you start trying to live it up you have to deal with what you didn’t see coming.”   


“What do you mean?” Bubblegum’s own animosity began to melt away at the sight of Rechte’s demeanor change, and her tiara faded from her list of momentary concerns. 

“When you first built your Kingdom you wanted power. And control. You needed a way to exercise that mondo brain of yours. You even had a long-term goal of uniting Ooo under one banner. Pretty choice, and word didn’t take long for everyone to know your name. You barely had the castle up when other kingdoms started sending their peeps to you. Remember why?” 

It took Bonnibel a moment to realize she was being asked an actual question. “Because of how prosperous my kingdom was quickly becoming, my literal mountains of natural resources-” 

Rechte held a hand up, offering a smirk that was almost kind and clearly fond. “Alright, alright. Point is, they didn’t do it to be your buds, they did it because they knew you could be useful to them.” 

She nodded in agreement. “That’s rather typical of foreign affairs.” 

The vampire glanced to the crown, slowly rotating it in her fingers. “Yeah, but you picked up on that really fast, way faster than any of them expected, and it made you suspicious of everyone and everything. I mean, yeah, you were already  _ really  _ paranoid to begin with, but this just made everything worse.” Her next words were rolled over in her mind before they evolved into speech. “I don’t remember much from before all this horror show happened, but I remember being in your lab. I think you were trying to convince me to go along with all this. But I  _ do _ remember warning you about what happens when all of your darkest urges are rewarded.”

“I believe you called it ‘addictive’.”

“Yeah, sounds right, because it is. I didn’t just mean me, Bonnie. I meant you, too.” Her head lolled to the side so that the vampire could catch her eye. “You have a dark streak, and it can be pretty nasty. I know, I’ve felt it, I was there. I’ve always been there. Your entire world is surrounded by maybe-enemies and probably-traitors. Spies, power grabs, assassination attempts, a secret, sexy vampire lover… this is like just one giant ‘I told you so’ from your own deepest desires. Everytime I killed a would-be hero and presented their head or whatevs to you I fed  _ both  _ of our dark streaks. It felt pretty amazing, but without the Usurper in me I can see how messed up it kind of is.”

“Are you suggesting that you shouldn’t have protected me?”

Rechte didn’t take the challenge, eyes closing. “Nah. I’m saying that I could have protected you without feeding that dark part of you. Or me. Not that I think we’re going to change that anyway; I’m the only part of all of us that thinks it’s unhealthy. Violence is just who we are.” Bubblegum considered this, shoving it to the back of her mind where she had begun to keep the clinical detachment she had until only recently favored as her default state for further analysis. 

“If you think it’s unhealthy then why did you choose to encourage it within yourself?”

She seemed to consider that question seriously. “Well, short answer is that it felt great. But that’s not the point. The point is that you’ve spent the last whatever-hundred years just surrounded by so much tension and questionable loyalty that you’ve had to evolve to get through it. You were always power-hungry and cold, but you made yourself more sadistic. More cruel. More manipulative. You learned to lie  _ really  _ well because it works  _ really  _ well. I can’t blame you for that.” As Bubblegum felt herself calm just a bit at the unexpected yet startling sincere assurances their fingers laced. “I protected what I loved by being awesome, and that meant tearing people in half and making sure you didn’t work yourself to dead. You protected everything you loved by killing the parts of yourself that you thought would get in your way, which is why you’re struggling with all this jazz right now. You haven’t learned to deal with heartguts stuff, so you’ve been trying to avoid it for whatever-hundred years. But the thing is, Bon, you can’t. It just comes out in other ways. Like making you think you’re doing something for reasons way different than what they actually are.”

Were this anyone - literally anyone - else in the world Bubblegum would have been on the highest of the high alerts. The very idea that someone could pick her apart was revolting and constituted the greatest of threats to her, let alone her home. But this wasn’t literally anyone else. This was Marceline Abadeer, her best friend and lover, the one person who she trusted above any and all. This was the creature that single-handedly wasted armies to protect her kingdom and people, the person who always, without fail, put the princess’ needs above her own. When the younger woman had pushed her away the vampire had watched over her from the shadows, unwilling to abandon her to her own devices. When they were still so young the half-demon had vowed to never use her immense power to hurt her, and until this very adventure she had kept that promise for hundreds of years. Even now, having suffered the greatest betrayal of all, Marceline still guarded her secrets, refusing to wield them as weapons against her.

“But here’s the catch. You want to be the best. The smartest, the strongest, the most dangerous.” She chuckled, “But you won’t be what you could be unless you know why you do the things you do. So I’mma try this again. What’s the real reason for this horror show?” Her voice was soft now, loving. For the first time in the conversation Bonnibel mulled that question over in her mind, picking it apart like a carcass. She found a clue the moment she felt her hand be given a reassuring squeeze, though it tasted bitter on her tongue. 

“...I wanted you to grow up.”

Rechte tilted her head. “Yeah?” 

The younger monarch suddenly found her jacket’s sleeve very interesting. “I needed to control you because I couldn’t predict you. I mean, pieces of you, yeah. I knew you’d never hurt me and that your survival instinct is questionable at best when it comes to me. But while I was buried under responsibility and in a perpetual state of self-sacrifice you were just…” 

Rechte’s smile was gentle. “Coasting?” 

A resigned sigh. “Yes. You’re a queen with no subjects. You’re an heir with no looming threat of duty. Time is at a standstill for you. The things you treasure most don’t change. They stay, and without concentrated effort on your part. Your joys are so… simple. You’ll disappear for days, weeks at a time, and then return to me so secure in the knowledge that I’ll allow you back into my bed. I suppose…” She bit her lip, every innate urge in her screaming not to reveal something so vulnerable.  _ No. She’s still Marcy. Almost uncomfortably reasonable, but still Marcy.  _ “I suppose I felt as though you were failing to take my aspirations seriously. You knew I desired the eventual control of all of Ooo, and to do so I would need to be queen, yet you ignored that in favor of being so… distasteful. It was disrespectful. I understand that I should have spent more effort getting to the root of  _ why  _ you were so resistant to my desires, but…” Another reassuring squeeze spurred her to continue her revelation. “But it was just so frustrating. I knew you were insecure, but you were never forthright as to why, even though you were aware that I would otherwise be incapable of understanding unaided. You were being…” 

Her smile was gentle, her statement free of anger. “Selfish?” 

Bonnibel hesitated again, having expected an outburst of emotion. When none presented itself she rested her head against her lover’s shoulder, feeling her tension beginning to slip away. Whatever strategy the vampire was employing, Bubblegum had to reluctantly admit it was working.  _ But then she’s had centuries of practice in coaxing me to relax when I’m frazzled…  _ “...Yes. I felt dismissed, as if you were taking advantage of my ability to control situations to our mutual advantage. I needed to know you were serious about… us. It’s easy to maintain a multi-hundred year relationship when you’re so detached from the world around you. It wouldn’t be unthinkable that you would be willing to stay stagnant when it comes so naturally to you without any incentive to mature.” 

The vampire rested her head on her own. “Nah, I get it. I’m a lot more laid back than you are. But you’re wrong about one pretty important thing.” Her smile turned melancholy. “Everything stays, Bon, but it still changes. Just… in little ways. Sometimes you miss them.” They were silent, such weighty words hanging dangerously. “You know… ‘girlfriend’ was always your word. I never called us that.” 

Bubblegum nodded. “That’s true. Your term was ‘mate’.”

“You never asked why that was.”

“I assumed-”  _ Here you are, Bubblegum, doing it again.  _ “...I assumed.”

She could feel her lover’s grin radiated behind her. “Now you’re getting it. You assumed. Asking probably would have made you feel better, because the thing about that word is that my kind mate for life. And I’m lumpin’ immortal.”

“Your kind? Vampires or demons?”

“Yes.”

Green eyes squinted, a strange mixture of some unfamiliar yet squishy emotion and curiosity unexpectedly getting the better of the candy golem as she scrambled to put the pieces of that admission together. When it hit her she felt her heart skip a beat. Evidently Rechte heard it, because she snickered. “...You were trying to tell me that you considered yourself bonded to me in a language you understood. That you were serious about your loyalty to me, despite the vulnerability that came with it.” 

“Hey, she can be taught.” The half-demon kissed the top of her head, as if that were a fair reward.  _ Maybe it is,  _ the princess mused. “As far as I’ve always been concerned you and I are bonded.” Her leer was unabashed. “All the time. Sometimes nightly.” 

Through sheer dint of will Bonnibel repressed her eye twitch. “I’m glad to see that you’re just as distasteful as the others.” She was, too. Not that she’d ever admit that. Ever.

Well, maybe if asked.

“You can have lots of girlfriends, Bon. I mean,  _ you  _ can’t because I’m the literal best-” A derisive snort. “-but just, you know, in general. People go through lots of those, but with my kind... we get one mate. That’s it. You don’t get another. Even when they break your heart a hundred ways and scatter the pieces all over Ooo over the course of a billion years.” An overactive brain was only getting worse as fragments, conversations, gestures, looks, those facets of Marceline’s behavior over the years began to fit into place. 

“...Everytime you said it you were telling me that you weren’t going anywhere. That’s why you were always so adamant that I was your literal other half and why you were so ready to destroy any potential suitor, despite my persistent reassurance that they were for display purposes only. They were a deeper threat to you than I had been aware of.” The older woman didn’t need to confirm that statement-that-was-not-a-question. Now her desire to know the answer to the looming question had become a choking need. “...Marce, what part of the whole are you?” 

Now Rechte adjusted herself, leaning against the arm of the chair to pull her mate between her legs, letting a pink head rest against her chest as her arms came around her waist. “Mm. I guess the best way to think about it…” She took a deep breath, as if attempting to soften a blow. “...Linke was the one who hid your heart so we didn’t have to look at it. I was the one who found it in my closet.”

“Literally or figuratively?”

“Yes.”

Bonnibel pondered that, ultimately deciding that a discussion of semantics would be counter-productive to the conversation. “...Our fight. The one hundreds of years ago-” 

Rechte didn’t need clarification as to what fight she was referring to. They had experienced many rows in the past, but truly only one bitter fight. A fight that was entirely her fault. They may have reconciled four hundred years ago, but those wounds had never healed, only scarred. Guilt settled over the vampire, but she did the younger woman the honor of not repressing the remorse that now assaulted her. “Linke was the one who started it. I’m the one who came back to grovel.” 

The princess curled against her queen, taking comfort when a grey hand began to stroke her hair. “...You’re not a large part of the whole, are you?”

“Nah. But I can be pretty loud when I want to be.”

“Marceline said you have a temper.”

She laughed softly. “Oh, I do. Yelling and stuff doesn’t work on you, so I had to be passive, frustrating, and disruptive in order to get your attention. Those two losers? They’re different. They know better, and we need to beat each other to not-True Death to communicate. You don’t work like that.” She seemed to ponder this briefly, before elaborating further. “Think about it this way: The Unifier has tried her own special brand of help by fighting with you like a weenie. The other one has been babying you. Obvs neither of those strategies are working, so I’m here to make you question reality. You only listen to yourself, so I’m forcing you to do that. Having a temper doesn’t always mean yelling, it just means aggression. Whatever that means.”

“...You’re.. Reason?”

“Eh. Something like that. Don’t worry about it.”

It surprised Bonnibel to realize she didn’t. “So Linke is…?”

“Childish, impulsive, selfish, short-sighted, obsessed with self-preservation, lacking all concept that there are other people in the world.”

“...Instinct.”

“Eh. Something like that. Don’t worry about it.”

It surprised Bonnibel to realize she didn’t. More importantly, Rechte was beginning to answer her questions and she had a better inquiry in mind, something that had been eating at her since she first awoke in Marceline’s arms after needing to kill-. “...Marcy, why didn’t the Usurper destroy us when she had the chance?” 

Her arm tightened around her waist. “Come on, nerd. After everything we just talked about? You can figure it out.” Deciding that Rechte was right she frowned in concentration.  _ Alright, Bubblegum. You can do this. What did we learn so far? Marceline always considered us eternally bonded. If Rechte is truly reasoning - or some semblance of - than the Usurper lacks emotional attachment. She has every experience and memory the whole has, and knows we came here for the purpose of bringing her home. We came here via my VR system, a system she’s familiar with and thus knows its capabilities. She exploited Finn’s vulnerability by ripping his arm out while making every attempt to seriously injure Jake. Her actions against me were humiliation while attempting me to turn against- _

Green eyes widened with epiphany. “She’s trying to make us abandon you,” she whispered.

“Natch. If she kills you guys you can just put on the helmets and come right back in for round two. But if she get you guys to quit we all stop being a threat to her because we’re on our own. She ganks the rest of us, goes back to Ooo, and just wrecks everything.”

“But we’d fight her-”

“Yup. As just another monster.”

Bubblegum tensed, thoughts racing with the sudden realization. Before she could think better of it she blurted out, “Did I help make her?” 

Rechte chuckled. “Well, breaking our heart into lots of tiny pieces over the past whatever-hundred years because you were bored and angry didn’t help.” 

The princess took her cool hand into her own warm one, wondering if her own heart was still in one piece. She thought so. “Then I’ll find them all and put it back together again.” It was a soft declaration, drenched in sincerity, and both immortals fell quiet as the moment dropped its strained atmosphere, evolving into something softer. Needing something - anything - else to focus on the princess began to play with her girlfriend’s-  _ no, Bubblegum, you can do this -  _ mate’s fingers, much to the singer’s amusement. 

“Something interesting, Bon?” 

To her surprise the pink woman nodded. “I’ve always admired your hands, Marceline,” the confession escaping before she could think better of it. She could sense the lewd expression coming from behind her, but chose to ignore it. “They’re callused, which reflects your innate capacity for dedication and patience. They’re strong from centuries of practice.” She glanced up. “How many instruments do you play?” 

The vampire shrugged. “I don’t know. A thousand?” 

Her response to the sarcastic claim was to pinch a finger, not that she seemed to notice. “Timing. Grace. Precision. You’ve developed all of the characteristics I have as a scientist.”

Now it was Rechte’s turn to toy with her lover’s hands. “Dork. You know, it’s funny you should mention that. Before we left I have this vague memory of Finn asking me how you and I worked.”

“Oh?”

“Mm. Yeah. You and I are pretty different, Bon, but we grock each other.” She traced the tendons through the softer hands, feeling the steady pulse underneath. It was almost calm. “Your castle is made of candy, but it didn’t come castle-shaped. It came from this giant chunk of stuff in the dextrose mines. Remember who broke it into small pieces?” 

Bonnibel groaned. “Marceline, I know you spent an inordinate amount of time helping-” 

The vampire snickered. “Humor me.”

“...You did. You found the mass of resources and broke them for me.”

“And what did you do with the pieces?”

The younger royal turned her head, giving her a skeptical look. “...I built my castle.”

“Cool. And those tiny gumball guardian things-”

“The gumball machines.”

“Yeah, those. You used me to teach them to fight, right? So they’d know how to protect your otherwise pretty useless citizens? What happened after I broke your toys?”

“...I rebuilt them and they became better.”

She grinned. “You see where I’m going with this?” The question was, mercifully, rhetorical. “I break stuff, and then you create stuff, and then I break stuff, and then you create more stuff. It’s what we do.” 

Bonnibel blinked, shifting back to her original position. After a brief pause, she smiled. “Yeah. It’s what we do.” She felt Rechte pull her closer and marvelled at how similar her embrace was to the Tyrant’s. Protective, not possessive. Encouraging. Safe. “...Where did Linke bring Marceline and the Unifier?”

“Ah, don’t worry about those losers. They’ll be fine. Probably.”

“...Probably?”

“Well, The Nameless One will probably be fine. It’s the Unifier that’s the wild card.” 

Bubblegum released a deep sigh, a sign that she couldn’t agree more. “She’s been… excessively difficult throughout all of this. Especially since the Tyrant…” The princess found herself incapable of finishing that sentence, but Rechte didn’t push her to. Instead, she sounded almost baffled. 

“You don’t see it?” 

The abrupt change in tone was almost alarming, and the younger monarch lifted her head skeptically. “See what?” 

Now the befuddled tone reached her eyes, as if the answer were painfully obvious. “You don’t know fear when you see it? Bon, she’s terrified of you.” 

Bubblegum froze, feeling her heart drop. That was not an explanation she had been prepared for. “...What?” Now she twisted herself, pulling away from the vampire to better address her. Rechte, on the other hand, didn’t move, too dumbfounded. 

“She has the most submissive part of us in her and basically nothing else except that drop of pointlessness. And that’s submissive to  _ you,  _ someone who’s demonstrated her willingness to abuse and mess with us, and from what I’ve seen you’re pretty willing to just let her self-destruct with it. She doesn’t have someone like me in her to act like a balance. You just left her on her own.”

Bubblegum wanted to argue, searched within herself desperately for some defense. But she came up short, finding nothing to counter the assertion, nothing to hide behind except disappointment. Against her conscious wishes she felt her hand tighten, then fall. Satisfied that her mate was willing to listen, Rechte softened her expression. It was almost sorrowful, but fell just short. “Bonnie, she’s not whole. None of us are. That’s the point. You can’t treat her like she is. I mean, you can’t treat Other Us like that either, but she’s stronger and she’s… well, I guess she’ll tell you herself. Not really about her, you know? If you want us to make it back to Ooo alive you’re going to have to get over yourself. Like I said, it’s not enough to feel bad about what you’re doing. You have to actually do better.” 

When the rockstar pulled her back against her Bubblegum bit her cheek as an automatic reflex too-readily learned from the older woman, only to release it when she felt cool fingers stroke the outside of it. “I’m not asking you to change, Bon. We fell in love with you, and that hasn’t changed in literally centuries. You wanna demolish other kingdoms? Do it, it’s hot.” The candy golem found herself wanting to respond to such a vulgar comment but thought better of it, instead resuming her position of cuddling against her vampire. “You wanna create candy people with the urge to lick your shoe? Cool. You’re controlling, possessive, egotistical, manipulative, and a bunch of other words that I don’t know the meaning of, but that’s just part of who you are. It’s not all you are.” Bonnibel found herself abruptly reminded of the Tyrant and felt her resolve collapse and grow fond. “You don’t need to change those things. Figs, you’ve always been the one more in control of… well, us, and I’m not complaining. Never have. It’s a thing you do. You just need to be more careful with those skills of yours. They’re weapons, Bon, and I know all about being a weapon. Everyone in Ooo looks at me like the biggest threat there is. They should be looking at you.” Cool fingers carefully slid the crown back to its rightful place as Bonnibel considered that statement. It was undeniable and the candy woman knew it. Marceline had always acted as a willing and magnificent diversion to her own machinations, something she never stopped appreciating. But if this adventure was teaching her anything at all it was that this effectively made her half-demon exempt from her wrath. It made her her mate. Special. Her true equal.

Maybe that squishy spot that was buried deep within where her heart should be that was reserved exclusively for Marceline was a good thing after all.

One question still burned in the back of her mind, and its presence was becoming a choking force. “So you’re consenting to return home?” 

Rechte rolled her eyes. “Well, duh. Are  _ you _ ?”

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Come on, brainlord. Think about it. You broke us, no way around it.” The queen had returned to her original matter-of-fact tone, failing to turn the statement into an accusation. It merely was. “There’s no way of knowing what’ll happen with us once we’re back in Ooo. We’ve been down here a long time. I don’t even remember what the stars look like. You can put us back together again, but nothing says we won’t scar, or that we’ll heal alright. Maybe we won’t even remember this, or maybe we’ll  _ only _ remember this. Dunno, you’re the smart one, this has always been your area. But you did this, and you know that. You broke hundreds of years of trust pretty brutally, so it’s on you to build that back up. If you take us back we’re your responsibility.” Her voice became quiet then, treading the line between mournful and something else that the candy golem couldn’t place but looked suspiciously like misgiving. “You can’t just abandon us when we get there because we’re not going the way you want, so if you think that might happen just leave us here. We’ll work all this out on our own. No hard feelings.”

_ How could there not be? _ She bit her cheek once more, only to promptly release it. If Marceline wasn’t allowed to injure herself when faced with an unpleasant situation she wouldn’t allow herself to either. Her skin had begun to crawl, her heart - wherever it was - had begun to break for her mate.  _ How could she ever think that I would abandon her?  _ But she knew the answer.  _...Because it’s exactly something I would do. Would have done, rather. Yes. Would have. Past tense, Bubblegum, past tense.  _ Just as she opened her mouth with her decision Rechte lifted her hand to stop her. “Don’t. Not now. You’ve still got a long way to go. When the time comes I’ll go quietly. I’m gonna guess that Other-Us will, too. But you’ve still gotta gank Linke. And the Usurper. And the wad. I can help you with that first one, but no way I’m strong enough to stop those other ding dongs.” Her voice became teasing, and Bonnibel found herself relieved. “And you and the Unifier gotta stop the crud you’re doing. At least just be in the same room without the mind games. ‘Kay?” 

In spite of the slight morbidity the frazzled scientist found herself smiling. “Yeah. Thanks, Marcy. And... after careful consideration I’d rather you didn’t change either. Not because it’s to my benefit that you continue your unique style of protection, but because it’s a part of who you are. It’s not all you are. You’re-”

“Awesome? The best? Rockin’?”

“...Now you’re a butt. An egotistical, crude, insensitive butt.”

“And you’re a nerd alert with weird taste in clothes.” Before a playful insult-war could begin Rechte pulled her closer, her hand moving to rest from her waist to just over her pocket. When she felt something inside of it, something thin and crinkly, she blinked. “What’s that?” Bonnibel seemed equally puzzled by the presence of something within her jacket and slid her hand inside. What she found only added to her confusion; it appeared to be notebook paper, folded so carefully that it was no wonder the princess had yet to notice, but it was unmistakably for her:  _ ~Bonnibel~  _ had been written in very familiar scrawl across the front. Her breath hitched when she realized two things simultaneously: Her jacket had, until only recently, belonged to someone else, and that this someone else was the only one to exclusively call her ‘Bonnibel’.

Delicately, she unfolded the letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	16. Love Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Hey guys, it's Thanksgiving! For my non-US friends that's something us Americans do, but only sometimes. Just once or twice a year, tops. But I wanted to give you all a surprise mini-chapter, because one thing I'm thankful for is all of you. Seriously, it absolutely blows my mind that so many people like my work, some so much they take the time to review or comment me after every (or near every) chapter. So I wanted to thank you all with a bonus chapter. Hopefully you like it.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Feels

_Bonnibel-_

_I’ll make an educated guess (yeah, I do that sometimes) that if you’re reading this it’s because things went badly when we tracked down the psychopath. Not gonna lie, I didn’t expect it to but gotta prepare for anything. Oh, and if this isn’t Bonnibel reading this it’s probably Jake, who needs to get out of my biz before I rip off and shove his arm down his throat. I respect your desire to snoop, but seriously guy, I will go back to Ooo, hunt you down, and find a way to suck out your soul and this time I’m not giving it back._

_Anyway, back to Bonnibel._

_First off: I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I failed you. And the losers. And the dweebs. Mostly you and the dweebs though, but don’t tell them that. It’ll make ‘em soft and squishy. Mortals, amiright? ‘Course I am. Not the point, I know. But we both know I don’t have tact and can only really express stuff through music, which isn’t really a thing I can do right now, so yeah. ‘Cause paper. Anyway, with any luck things only went bad for me and not the rest of you, and I’m hoping that means the Unifier took my piece of the soul. I’m gonna assume she did, because I have to, you know? She’s whiny but you’re mad scary when you want something, and since the entire point of this thing is to make us whole I’m pretty sure she’s not gonna mess with that. Even she can’t possibly be that stupid._

_Main point of this letter: I’m sorry that I let you down, and that I’m not there to protect you anymore. I know, I know, you don’t need to be protected, you’re almost nine hundred years old and are more than capable blah blah blah. I’ll still do it anyway. I always have and I always will. And you know that, and you also know you can’t really stop me. Sorry Bonnibel, but I operate on a priority system here, so even if you were like ‘Marceline, stop doing that’ I’d say ‘no can do, sorry, even though I’m really not at all’. Besides, until all this happened I was pretty good at keeping you safe. I mean, all those like billions of time we’ve flown through the sky I’ve never dropped you before. I guess I did this time, huh? So, the Unifier better pick up where I left off or I won’t forgive myself. Literally. See what I did there?_

_So here’s where the selfish request part comes in. Please, don’t abandon us here. We don’t belong in this world. Our place is home, back in Ooo, with you. And the dweebs, but mostly you. Just… give me one more chance. Please? I know it’s asking a lot after everything you’ve gone through already, but it’s all I can think of. It’s all I thought about when I was locked in that stupid cage. I didn’t think you were still alive. Or maybe you were, but you just moved on. But you are, and you didn’t, and that’s all I care about. Keeping you safe. And happy. I can’t really say for sure what’ll happen when we get home, this kind of thing was always your area. I just smash stuff and make music. But I want to go home, and I doubt I’m alone in that, which means the Unifier needs to do her lumpin’ job and get everyone’s soul shard._

_You guys should go to the Tree Fort next and find the twins. They’re super weird but they know this entire mindscape better than any of us and can portal you to the wad, which should mean you’ll beat the Usurper there. Once you get to the fort meet up with Rechte. I’m pretty sure she’ll agree with me about bailing on this place and going home. She knows what’s up. She’s pretty reasonable (that’ll be a funny joke when you meet her, I swear). Pretty sure What’s Her Name is gonna agree to go home, too. Dunno about the Unifier, but Law of Bigger Than You says that her opinion doesn’t really matter anyway. If Linke decides to give you a problem give her a bigger problem and break her spine. Not like she’s using it anyway._

_I know you guys have experienced some messed up junk since you got here. I don’t know the whole story (because torture room) but it probably wasn’t pretty. I know what our mind is like. I know it’s pretty broken. If you take us back to Ooo and then kick us out of your life I think we’ll understand. This is a lot, and you’ve already seen more of me than I ever really wanted you to see. Well, more than you should have seen anyway. I know, I know, I should have gotten a handle on all this yeeeeaaaars ago, but you’ve seen the other dinguses I have to share a brain with. Not like they make it easy. My bad. I meant what I told the ding dongs, though. We’re never gonna be worthy of you, and I know that. We both know why, and there’s not enough time or space to write it all out because Finn is staring at me like a creeper, but you know what I’m talking about. So yeah, like I said, if you bring us out of this mess and then want us gone I think we’ll get it. I do, and I’m a pretty big (and awesome) part of our brain. But you have a lot happening in your life, stuff I didn’t always make easier ~~(I only regret a little of it though because really Bonnibel if you’re going to make your candy peeps explode there’s no way you can ask me to ignore that)~~. Still, I’ve been a dinger to you at least once or twice. Up to you to decide if the pros of me being there are more than the cons, not my place to make that choice for you, but you’re pretty good with stuff like this, so I trust you. _

_I don’t know what all this must be like for you, since I don’t even know how I got ganked. But it probably hurts, because I know you feel emotions even if you don’t know you feel emotions (don’t worry, I’ll keep that a secret). I don’t even know how badly it’d break me if I lost you, but safe to say ‘a ton’. I hope it wasn’t too bad for you guys. But you’ll be alright. I know you. You don’t need me around to know how strong you really are, you already know. You’ve always known. So… keep knowing that I guess?_

_You gotta go find the wad though, she’s the only one of equal strength with the crazy lady in our brain left. Here’s a tip, though, about the wad. She’s kind of into her own biz, so if she doesn’t want to help out tell her you want to make a trade or a deal. That should get her attention. Then be really, really clear on what you’re giving her and what you’re getting. Seriously, if you think you’re being too thorough you’re not, she’ll demolish you guys if you let her. Well, maybe not you because I think she likes you, but the other guys are doomed forever. If The Nameless Wonder is still alive she should be able to help with that. I know she used to trade with her a lot before they locked me in a flippin’ cage, though I never got the full story on what exactly they dealt with. Dunno if she still does the trading, but probably, since I’ve seen you all eating at least once and we don’t have any mortal food. Moral of the story is that the wad can help, but she’s a wad, so don’t trust her._

_Oh, yeah, other thing you gotta know! If you decide to book it back to Ooo without us don’t go back to the castle right away. Head to the Citadel (bring the dweebs so that the demons don’t get ideas) and tell dad to give you the thing. He’ll go nuts, but he’ll do it, and he knows what the thing is. Keep it safe, there’s no way to make another one, and it’s in way better hands with you than him. Trust me, you’ll like it. Totes worth the journey. You’re coming back, so I gotta wrap this up. Uh… what else… Make sure the dweebs don’t get themselves killed, because they won’t have me to save their butts anymore. Check in on Simon every so often, make sure the old dude doesn’t get himself_ ~~_killed_ ~~ _in trouble. Feed Schwabl, or find someone who can, okay? Tell dad not to touch my stuff, but he can go in my room if he wants. Oh, and kick Pep-But for me. Like, in the head. He knows why._

~~_I lov_~~

_Your favorite problem,_

_Marceline_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	17. Guide Dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Well, let me start by saying that this was the single most challenging chapter I've written for Rehearsal yet. Lots of background work, lots of cross-referencing stuff, SO much canon confirmation, blah blah blah. Totally worth it, though.
> 
> Also, I'm glad to see how many of you liked the mini-chapter! Maybe I'll write something like that as its own story format one day.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Feels  
> Psychological Torture  
> Implications of PTSD  
> Description of a Panic Attack  
> Scene Split  
> So Many References (and not just to my things!)  
> Literally no Finn or Bonnie (they've got their own stuff going on)  
> Semi-Graphic Description of a Head Injury? (Tame for Rehearsal)  
> 

 

“How are you two doing back there?!”

“Linke, I’m gonna rip your spine out and strangle you with it!”

But Marceline’s threat was empty and all three vampires knew it. Before the two knew what had happened they were trapped in Linke’s talons, claws piercing their backs and effectively paralyzing them from pain as they were forcibly carried away from their friends and perhaps ally, depending on Rechte’s mood. Nowadays Linke was on the weaker end of the vampire queen spectrum, but what she lacked in strength she more than made up for in precision; she was the one most likely of all to strike unexpectedly from the shadows, and in this case she had chosen to hit before either Marceline or the Unifier could defend themselves. And that was how they found themselves now: trapped in the talons of a madwoman who had, admittedly, made herself into a rather impressive approximation of The Morrow, if you ignored her grey complexion. Neither pinned half-demon knew where they were headed, but nothing with the woman who was essentially the embodiment of their primitive, instinctive desires could ever end well.

“Glad to hear you’re in such good spirits, because this next part is gonna suck!”

To make matters more grim it was impossible to tell exactly where they were being dragged. Linke and Rechte knew the mindscape leagues beyond the rest, they were flying much too quickly to even hazard a guess to where they were going, and it was impossible to turn themselves enough to even glance in a helpful direction. They couldn’t even see each other, and were it not for their innate ability to sense one another they wouldn’t even be sure they were still together. That was bad news as well: What possible reason could Linke have for not separating them when they - even the Unifier - were so much stronger than her? She was up to something, but that was hardly new behavior. Linke was always up to something.

“So here’s the important part! No one’s coming to rescue you and you’re probably going to die!”

“Where the flip are we going?!”

But Linke wasn’t listening, hopelessly and delightfully lost in her own mania. “Even if you make it out you’ll probably be damaged for life and useless to everyone!”

“I promise-”

“You’re not in a position to be making promises, O’ Great Unifier!,” she called back in utter glee. “You’re in a position to be trapped helplessly until I toss you away! Like garbage!”

“LINKE!”

“Don’t worry, though!” Abruptly, her voice darkened, almost too quiet to hear over the sound of the wind whipping around them. “I’ll take good care of Finn and Jake.”

Marceline struggled to draw her axe, but before she could even attempt to make good on the Unifier’s threat she found herself flying through the air. Well, less flying and more falling at what she supposed may be terminal velocity, but then she wasn’t a brainlord and that was only a vague guess as she wasn’t entirely clear on the actual definition of ‘velocity’. Though she did know what ‘terminal’ meant it was a moot point for an immortal creature capable of flight. But she wasn’t invincible, that much was certain, and her immediate priority was hitting the ground in a way that didn’t leave her a splat. It was very difficult to heal from that kind of injury after all, and the ability to fly didn’t mean she had the ability to right herself mid-air without feeling the ill-effects of the physics she understood so little about. Ultimately she did hit the ground hard, but with only minor damage in the form of a dislocated arm, a trifle to fix for one so experienced in cheating True Death. That was hardly her biggest concern at the moment.

_ Where the flip am I? _

The vampire stood, surveying her landing zone as she popped her right arm back into its proper place with barely a wince, too engrossed in the scenery around her. Over the years of being trapped within the corrupted mindscape Marceline had explored most of her new home, because if living through the literal apocalypse had taught her anything it was that you should always know the boundaries of your area, lest it contain weird humanoid monsters made of ooze or something equally outlandish. But this area was a place she had never been to before. Or, at least, an area she had never been to before within her own mind. Yet it was all at once familiar, foreign, and something else she could not place. Although the mental landscape that was her forced home was largely illogical there were a few consistencies, aspects of her psyche that she had come to take for granted. The sky of dust blocking out the wonky twilight. The dead and blackened ground. The crumbling ruins of what was, perhaps, once something important. The crippling quiet. The inability to hear herself-

_ What the bleep?! I can hear myself think again! Sweet! _

It was true: after years of mental white noise Marceline Abadeer was finally able to hear her own thoughts as an entity separate from the greater mindscape, the greatest cause of celebration since the arrival of the Dork Brigade. As welcomed as it could be it was a startling experience to say the least; in the ruined land she and her other selves had been trapped in thoughts became manifest in physical form, and it had taken painful trial and error for the vampires to train themselves to channel their thoughts into emotion and other subconscious expressions that were entirely separate from consciousness. Feelings and emotions turned subconscious and unactionable, which meant that they had, in effect, lost a piece of their individuality and higher realm of functioning. It had been a heartbreaking sacrifice, but one of the few things all eight half-demons had agreed upon before the beginning of the bloodbath. This was the only way to avoid unintentionally altering the land or summoning hostile exhibitions, the only method with which they could make their spacious cage survivable in any sense of the word. While some of the queens had adapted faster than others it had been an adjustment  _ this  _ Marceline had not readily taken to. Now, after who knew how many years, she experienced the joyous separation of herself from her surroundings, the reminder that she was more than the land she was confined to.

Nevertheless, this welcome change did nothing to placate her growing unease that she was surrounded by fog, obscuring but not preventing her from seeing a land both familiar and foreign, hearing sounds both familiar and foreign, wearing clothing both familiar-

_ Wait… wha? _

She removed her hand from her now-repaired arm, glancing down in bewilderment for her clothing had indeed changed. Gone were her jeans and shirt, and in her place she wore a red dress and purple stockings she had worn somewhere before, only once, and a long time ago at that. Only now did she realize her gloves, donned prior to the group’s journey to the Tree Fort, were missing and in automatic reflex she reached for the bridge of her ear, but nope, those piercings were gone as well. Even her hair was different now, more of it present and styled up. A new addition to her outfit in the form of a green, circular necklace on a gold chain hung around her neck instead-  _ But the last time I wore this…  _ Her head jerked over her shoulder and her suspicions were confirmed: Her bass was missing. She suddenly felt entirely naked, and not in a way she approved of. Belatedly, she realized Bonnibel’s brown messenger bag was missing as well and she frowned, silently hoping the princess wouldn’t kill her for losing it.

_ Ugh, I hope that doesn’t mean her dagger is lost in my brain. Wait, am I still even in my brain? _

Her eyes closed in concentration, her focus entirely on sensing any of the others. To her distress the background noise that had previously been her alternate selves were gone, replaced with a numbing absence.

_ Alright, that’s new. Does… that mean we’re whole now? Or… I’m whole now? Ugh, this is too bonkers. Okay, new plan. But… I’m bad at plans. Those were always Bonnie’s area. Oh, that’s a thing! What would Bonnie do? She’d… use science! Well, that’s not something I can do. What else… uh… _

Her concentration became broken at a curious, faint noise that seemed oddly like-

_ Is that… a drum? Well, she’d probably want to know what the deal with that is. And I also kinda wanna know what the deal with that is. Glad we agree. I think. _

Yet it was as good a plan as any, and as she began to make her way to the noise she noted that the fog had slowly begun to clear, a definite improvement to her situation but troubling nonetheless.  _ Okay, Bonnie would say to actually use my eyebones and look at what’s going on. I mean, I kind of like the idea of just rushing into this, but…  _ Her thought trailed off as she admitted silent defeat to the spectre of her girlfriend’s advice.  _ This place… it’s way familiar. Well, except for the sky of dust. _ A hard, faded yellow road. Large red - actual red - crystals jutting from the ground at odd angles and at irregular intervals. Bulbous dark green plants with palms as wide as paddles growing through thick golden walls, walls that spanned the entirety of… wherever she was. Some were crumbled in places, but most stood strong, resisting whatever corruption seeped through the vampire’s deteriorating mind.  _ Wait, what’s that?  _ She stopped before one of the walls, a particularly intact one, a series of strange carvings catching her attention. They looked like lines, thin and angular. There were dozens, perhaps hundreds flowing through each wall, each terminating in tiny circles. In cautious bewilderment Marceline lifted her hand to trace along one. At once a voice that was not her own, a memory of some past adventure, struck her.

_ Does this circuit look infected to you? _

She drew her hand back as if it had been struck, floating backwards in surprise as her location suddenly hit her.  _ Simon’s mind?  _ Her eyes widened at the implication; had she a working heart it would be pounding, and even without living lungs she gasped involuntarily. After regaining her composure - and quite glad that no one was allowed to see her brief slip into being lame - she swallowed hard, mind racing to make sense of her realization. Alarmed now, she floated above the walls, scanning frantically.  _ Okay, if this is anything like when Bon and I went in, there should be-  _ And there it was, the town that Gunther had lead the two monarchs into in search of Simon during their journey years ago. For a brief, fleeting moment she experienced something new, something fluttery, and with belated amusement she realized it was hope. Just as quickly as it emerged she crushed it deep within herself where it could do her no harm, for if living for a thousand years had taught Marceline anything it was how dangerous hope really was. How it made promises impossible to keep, how it lead one astray into blissful denial until reality struck like the filthy predator it was. How it raised your expectations, convincing you that the woman you loved-

_ No. Not now, Marceline. You need a way out first. Bonnie can handle Rechte until you get back. She’ll be okay. _

The fact remained: She wouldn’t,  _ wouldn’t,  _ hope to see Simon again because her heart may not be alive but it could still be broken, and oh how it was already filled with broken pieces. Still, she found herself pulled towards the incessant noise and to make the medicine more palatable she transmuted ‘hope’ into ‘curiosity’ and followed it to the village. The longer she flew the more on edge she became; Linke was the biggest trickster of them all, and it would be exactly like her to turn emotions against their wielder. She struck from the shadows and even Marceline had to admit she was good at finding someone’s weak point, stabbing them before they knew what hit them, and then twisting the knife into a wailing agony. It was also common knowledge that Simon was a well-known weak point for her. The vampire frowned in consternation.  _ I’m going to break her in half for this. I’m going to- _

That musing dropped. Thought stopped. Her breath, air she didn’t even need, hitched. She didn’t find the source of the drumming, no, but she found something even more important. Below her stood a man with olive skin and dark brown hair, tracing the wall’s carvings as he mumbled to himself, scratching his chin in ponderance. She knew that outfit, that yellow shirt and black vest, the brown slacks and black shoes. She knew those glasses, though the last time she saw them they were broken. She knew that red bowtie, the one he always wore, even when the situation really didn’t call for it. 

She knew this man.

“Simon!”

It took her a moment to realize that elated voice was her own. Startled, he dropped his hands and began to look around in confusion, looking almost comical as he tried to locate the origin of the unexpected noise. When he looked up and found its source his look of bewilderment was tempered by his expression of jubilation. “Marceline!” Not bothering to hide the tears stinging her eyes - Simon was one of the few people to have ever seen her cry and she wasn’t exactly ashamed of that - she landed and the two embraced tightly. She couldn’t stop her smile, though she hardly tried. Her voice come out softer than intended, one she recognized only in the context of the antiquarian. 

“I missed you, Simon.” 

His smile was evident in his voice. “I missed you too, darling.” 

He was about to say something more but she pulled away, her excitement giving way to bafflement. “But… how are you here?” Once more she looked around, but the scenery hadn’t changed. “Also, where is here?”

He followed his charge’s gaze. “That’s an excellent question, and one I’ve been attempting to decipher myself.” He returned his focus to her, still smiling gently. “Where do  _ you  _ think we are?” Were this anyone else she would have been irritated by the clear dodging of her question and wouldn’t hesitate to make this opinion known. 

But this was Simon, and how could she stay mad at him? 

“I’m not really sure. This place is mondo weird.” She sighed deeply. “A lot’s happened, so this is just one more layer of weird on like… a cake of weird.” 

Nodding, he turned his gaze over the walls and their strange designs. “Yes, I see. Tell me what happened.” Out of habit the singer bit her cheek at such an uncomfortable request, but one raised eyebrow was all it took for her to release it. It had been a habit developed in childhood, and she marvelled at how a thousand years later it only took one concerned look from the man to get her to stop. He had the decency not to draw attention to it. He always did.

“The short version is that we’re in my mind. I think. Well, I was anyway. Bonnibel convinced me - Whole Me I mean - to try to control dad’s amulet. It didn’t really go choice, so my brain kind of split in eight. We were down here for way long, then she, Finn, and Jake showed up to try to slam us back together again. Blah blah blah, one of us, Linke, kidnapped me and threw me… somewhere. Which I guess is here? Wherever ‘here’ is. I’m not even sure if I’m even still in my mind. Or… our mind. Whatevs.” It was more of a ramble than an explanation but Simon seemed to understand. He always did. 

“Interesting…” After a moment of ponderance he turned back to where Marceline had found him. “I’ve been following these marks in the walls. They appear to be a conduit of some sort, but I haven’t deciphered where it’s leading just yet.” As he returned to his previous spot he motioned for the vampire to follow him. ‘Conduit’ sounded like a Bubblegum word, but she wasn’t exactly going to argue with his goal.

Simon tapped a line that looked exactly like all of the others. “This is the one I’ve been tracing. I’m sure it goes somewhere important.” 

Marceline tilted her head. “So why not just… you know. Go there?” 

He smiled at her gently. “Not everything can be rushed into, Marcy. If we go skip ahead we may miss something important. I understand that you want to see it at the end, but you have to see it through first, dear.” That made sense in a warped sort of way, and she followed as the professor began to trace the carving deeper into the labyrinth. As they began their journey Marceline considered asking him where they were, but hesitated; Bonnibel was fond of telling her not to ask questions she didn’t want to know the answer to. As she wrestled with that dilemma Simon eyed her, still smiling. “So… have a boyfriend?” 

The dilemma dropped out of her mind and she was glad she was floating or she would have surely stumbled. “HAH! No.” 

Now his smile turned knowing. “Have a girlfriend?” 

Marceline squirmed under his gaze, avoiding his eyes. “Uh…,” was her articulate response. 

His knowing smile widened. “It’s Bubblegum, isn’t it?” 

She rubbed the back of her head. “Uh…,” the articulate response continued. But there was no sense in lying to Simon. He knew her better than that. He helped raise her after all. “...How’d you know?” 

He turned away, now following the wall visually. “I have eyes, darling. Even the Ice King can see the way you look at each other.” The first implicit continuation, as exemplified by the man’s voice turning softer at the end of the statement, was ‘even if he doesn’t always care.’ Before she could reassure him that she still loved him, regardless of the crown, she caught the second implication.

“The way we… look at each other?”  _ The way she looks at me?  _

His smile was soft as he turned back to her. “Of course, Marceline. Anyone with eyeballs could see it. And I’ve got four.” He tapped the frames of his glasses, but when the joke seemed to fall on deaf ears he stopped to turn to her. “Do you know why the Ice King spent so much time kidnapping Princess Bubblegum in particular?” 

That one she knew. “Well, he has a thing with princesses.” 

He nodded encouragingly. When they came to a mostly intact stoop he sat, patting the spot next to him for Marceline to join him. “Your Bonnibel reminds me so much of my Betty. Headstrong, clever, and absolutely incredible.” The queen began to flush deeply at the indication of the princess being referred to as ‘her’s’ and quickly looked anywhere but at him, but Simon mercifully ignored her evasion. “I can see why you’re so smitten with her. And I can see why she’s so smitten with you.” The blush was only getting deeper. “What happened, darling? Why are you here?” His voice took on a melancholy tone, and she didn’t need to ask why.

She sighed deeply, still not able to look at him. “She betrayed me. Us. Howevs this works. We left her. I think. Maybe? It… wasn’t really clear. So now we’re all like ‘woah, can we even think about forgiving her for this?’ I didn’t want to just end it like this so we all decided to take a vote about it. You know, see if we should forgive her or move on. But it’s three on three and…” 

His smile was sad, but understanding. “You didn’t expect the others to be this resistant?” 

Marceline nodded. “What she did to us was messed up, but… she’s Bonnie.” 

His head tilted. “What do you mean?” 

Her gaze turned to her hand, which crumbled the dirt under it in frustration. “Well… I love her. I can’t picture my life without her. So I forgave her.” When she didn’t continue, not knowing how to voice the words caught in her throat, she felt Simon take her free hand. 

“I understand you love her, dear.” He chuckled, “you’re not as good at hiding it as you think. But the question, Marcy, is if you’re forgiving her for the right reasons.” That got her attention and she turned, unconsciously tensing. He held up his free hand. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t. But… I know who you are, Marceline. And I know what  _ you  _ are.” 

Now she was tense for an entirely different reason. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Nope. Not a thing.” 

Simon gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “They used to call you the Navigator, didn’t they?” 

Caught, her laugh was bitter.  _ No sense denying it if he already knows.  _ “Yeah. Because I’m the closest we have to a moral compass.” She pulled her knees to her chest. “I made them stop.”

“Why?”

“It’s a stupid title.” Now she was mumbling, cheek rested on her knee, away from the man who was her father for too short a time.

Instead he pulled her into a hug, something she did nothing to resist. “It’s something you’ve struggled with your long life, isn’t it? Accepting who and what you are. It’s not something you should shy away from, Marcy. No part of you should.” 

She grumbled, “I can ignore it if I want. I don’t need to be that if I don’t want to be. I can ignore it.” 

He smiled. “Darling, even now you’re being the Navigator.” She snorted derisively. “You’re guiding your friends, and yourself, to the exit because you want to go home. You’ve kept them fed and safe because you know it’s the right thing.” He hugged her tighter, just as he did when she was young and being stubborn. “I understand how you must feel. You have a heavy burden to bear, Marceline. You represent something precious, and something too many people live without. You have the power to sway the whole of you, perhaps even more than the others, but your curse is that you must always look behind you and trust the other pieces of you to not lead you into a pile of rocks. Like a rudder.” 

When the humor creeped into his voice she allowed herself a smile. “Do you… think Bonnie has one of me?” Her voice was quiet, as if she were afraid the question could come alive and hurt her. When he hummed an affirmative she let out a breath she wasn’t aware she had been holding. 

“She does, Marcy. I think you know that, though, don’t you? You’ve seen it before, haven’t you?” Reluctantly, she was forced to nod. “See?”

“But then… what do you mean about forgiving her for the right reasons?”

“Well, the question you have to ask yourself is why you’re forgiving her. Is it because you can move past her actions… or is it because you don’t want to lose her and you’re afraid that you will if you don’t overlook what she did?” 

Marceline took a sharp intake of breath. They were both quiet for several agonizing moments, Simon watching as his almost-daughter as if she were attempting to solve a difficult puzzle. Her free hand resumed gripping the dirt. “I… don’t think I know.” She blinked, lifting her head in sudden understanding. “Is that why Rechte said that I couldn’t forgive her without talking to everyone else? Oh, you don’t know her. She’s-” 

He nodded, the pride evident in his smile that the vampire had actually logicked something out on her own. “Reason. And yes, that’s right, darling. You’re a very big part of your psyche, so you have a lot of sway when you’re whole. If you choose to forgive Bonnibel solely for the sake of your relationship you’re going to get hurt again. On the other hand, though, if she is sorry and you forgive the action your relationship will become even stronger than it was.”

“But I don’t know if she’s sorry.” He said nothing, but his knowing smile was enough to make her groan. “That’s the problem, huh? I gotta talk to her and… see if she’s really sorry about how she treated me, or if she’s just sorry because she doesn’t want to lose our relationship? This sucks, Simon.”

Simon laughed softly. “Relationships are hard work, Marcy. But they’re worth fighting for.” Marceline could almost see his memories of his time with Betty behind his eyes and began to wonder if he was talking to her, or himself.  _...Or both.  _ “It’s rare to find two people as in love as the two of you.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?” 

He laughed, “Trust me, I’m as old as breadballs, if I saw it I’d know it.” 

Marceline rolled her eyes. “You’re a relic, Simon.” 

He pulled her into a tight hug. “We’re both relics, darling.” They fell quiet again, but for different, much more comfortable reasons. 

“Is… that why you came to see me, Simon? Because of Bonnie?” 

He paused before answering, giving her hand a tight squeeze. It was something he always did before he had to break bad news to her. “Well… that’s part of the reason, darling, but not the only one.” Something about the way he said that immediately put the singer on edge. 

“What are you talking about, Simon?” Her voice dropped, nervousness taking hold when he looked away, beyond her. It was too much like how he last looked, right before he left her to head to the North. “You’re scaring me.”

“I’m sorry, Marcy. There’s something you need to see.” He stood with her, then motioned for her to follow him.

“Where are we going?”

“We need to follow the conduit.”

“But… I thought you didn’t know where it goes?”

He smiled at her sadly. “I don’t know for sure, but I have a reasonable guess.” The silence between the two didn’t last long, broken by a remorseful academic. “Marcy… I’m sorry.”

“For what, Simon?”

He sighed, smiling almost wistfully. Using his hand to trace the carvings as a guide he looked to her, catching and keeping her eyes. “I left you alone, Marceline.”

“...Oh. Yeah. That.” Her voice was tight now, controlled. With no bass to clutch in security her hand tightened into a fist, betraying her tension. “It wasn’t your fault, Simon. It was the crown.”

Simon nodded, the corner of his mouth twitching, something Marceline knew only happened when he was trying to protect her from the knowledge that he was a mortal man with mortal emotions. “Not just that, dear. When I abandoned you-”

“It was the crown.” Now her eyes turned downcast, her voice was full of conviction. Too full. He stopped walking to take her hand. 

“Marcy look at me, darling.” He tilted her chin so that they locked eyes. “You were Turned by a vampire when you were still so young. How did that happen?” 

Were this anyone else Marceline would have had a sarcastic description of how Turning works at the ready, but not for Simon. Never for Simon. “...The Vampire King. After I staked all the other vamps.” 

He nodded encouragingly. “And why did you do that?” 

She shrugged half-heartedly. “‘Well… they were trying to eat all the humans. There weren’t a lot left. It was messed up, so I messed  _ them  _ up.” 

He lowered his hand. “When I first found you, Marceline, you were so scared. And so sick. I didn’t think you would make it through that first night. Thank goodness for your half-demon bloodline.” Somehow, despite the morbidity of the sentiment, the humor rang through. “You and I are survivors. When I left you alone in the wasteland I thought there was nothing else I could do for you, and that your best chance of survival was for me to be far away from you, where I couldn’t hurt you.” He paused to give her the opportunity to interrupt, and to his relief she didn’t. “You were alone for so long. But if I had sought out others you could have had someone else to look after you.” 

Now it was her turn to offer a gentle smile. “That’s not your fault, Simon. You did everything you could. I know you did. Besides, it all worked out. I mean… eventually. I found dad which… wasn’t the greatest experience, but at least I got my bass out of it.” A revolted shudder as she remembered her introduction to her father and the two friends that paid the price with their souls.  _ Don’t think about it. _ “And… I had Schwabl. Then Bonnie found me, and later I found you and Finn and Jake. Evens the score.” 

He chuckled as he turned back to the wall, resuming the trail. “Yes, I suppose so. But… it’s alright to be mad at me, Marcy.”

Her tone was almost normal again. “I know. I guess… I’m still angry sometimes. But I forgave you a long time ago. It’s just…” He glanced over his shoulder, but didn’t interrupt. “...Do you think you’ll ever come back?” She didn’t want to bring up Betty, couldn’t bring herself to, and he was happy for the evasion. 

“I hope so, darling. But if I don’t… know that I love you.” 

She smiled a genuine smile. “I love you too, old man.”

The rest of the journey was much more comfortable. At least until they got to the end of the wall, which was less of the wall ending and more of it having crumbled in hundreds of pieces of rubble. But that wasn’t the first thing that alerted her to the startling deviation from the rest of the landscape. That honor went to the smell, the putrid stench that choked the air and made her eyes sting. For the first time in her existence she envied the Unifier and her ability to manipulate the area around her.  _ Bet she could drown out the stink.  _ Before she could proceed further down the trail Simon held up his hand to stop her. “Stay back, Marcy. It isn’t safe for you.” Not leaving any room for argument he brought them forward slowly, carefully, as if the ground could collapse at any moment, and as if her ability to fly meant nothing in the face of it. When they turned to pass the rubble she saw why, her eyes widening.

“...Woah.”

Marceline knew her mind was corrupted from the amulet’s influence. She had seen evidence of it everywhere: the ever-present smell of rust, the buildings that seemed to be gradually getting even more collapsed, the growing amount of dust caked in the sky. It had been a feature of her reality for so long she could scarcely imagine one without it. It wasn’t a surprise to her anymore, none of it was to any of them. But nothing she had seen before could have prepared her for what she was seeing now, beyond the sharp divide that separated the labyrinth’s scenery and what horrors she found lay beyond.

Rot. That was the only way to describe it. The ground, until that divide a hard yellow, was a soft dark grey, splattered with currant red and tar green. It was almost as if the red and green was attempting to coat the ground, transmute it into something horrendous. The patches weren’t equal in sizes, or shapes, or even amount; in some areas the red splotches took up a meter or more, while in others they were speckled, diluted with the green in a way that reminded her of a weird microscope slide Bonnibel had somehow tricked her into look at. With barely repressed nausea Marceline observed it to almost be pulsing, as if it were alive and trying to spread its influence. The walls it touched had faded to the same grey as the ground, the trees collapsing into puddles of what looked like pus. The crystals weren’t spared either, some cracked, some shattered, and all taking on the same lifeless grey color that all food did after having its delicious red drained. Even the air felt hostile, compelling her to move back, just a hair. “Simon, what the flip?” When he looked to her the worry was evident, something he was always careful to control when she was younger, something that only showed when something was horribly wrong.

“Marcy, you have to listen to me. Your mind has been damaged by Hunson’s amulet. This is what’s lurking below the surface.”

She tried to sound more unconvinced than she felt. “But Simon… I heal through junk. I’ve even healed through brain injuries before. Even when my skull got caved in and I got impaled!”  _ Thanks, Bonnie.  _ “I was even on fire once! Like, all the way!”  _ Thanks, Phoebe.  _

He nodded, but didn’t take his eyes off of the mess before them. “While that’s true, Marceline, this is a different kind of injury. The amulet isn’t just a physical detriment. Splitting into eight isn’t the only side-effect of you wearing it, but you can’t begin to recover unless you wake up…”

_ Unless we all bite it or the Unifier eats us.  _ “...Which I can’t do unless there’s only one of us.”

He made a hum of agreement. “I don’t want to alarm you, darling, but there’s no way of knowing what the long term effects of this could be or how realistic it is that you’ll heal smoothly. Still, the longer you’re trapped in your mind the longer this muck can spread. You haven’t been down here very long but there’s no way to say for sure how quickly this… sludge can spread, or where it’s heading next.” 

She frowned, watching the rot. “But… Finn said they took it off me. How can it be affecting me if it’s not even on me?” 

A soft, metallic groaning noise bubbled forth from the rot and Simon took a cautionary step backwards. “Do you remember when you were younger and I was teaching you to cook on the stovetop for the first time? You touched it and burnt your hand. When you took your hand away though it was still burning slightly, and it didn’t stop until we rinsed the area to stop the burn from spreading. Do you remember that?” She nodded. “It’s the same here.” He took her hand. “You all have a very difficult task ahead of you. The longer you stay under the amulet’s influence, Marcy, the more of yourself you’ll lose.” He allowed himself a little, morose smile. “Trust me, I know all about that. Whether you want to admit it or not, you’re the Navigator. The one whose task is to lead the way home. You may have already lost a piece of yourself without any way of knowing-”

“...So I can’t risk losing more.” The vampire didn’t need his affirmation to understand what his point was. “...I gotta get back to the others.” Beaming with pride, he pulled her into a tight hug, which she readily returned. “I’m so proud of you, Marceline.” Before she could reply another voice, a familiar voice, cut her off from behind.

“There you are!”

* * *

Yet Marceline was not the only vampire finding herself in a foreign-and-yet-familiar world. Not long after her less-than-ceremonial deposit in the labyrinth the Unifier had herself been literally dropped in her own strange land. Her first thoughts were of her alternate self, but a quick scan of her surroundings did not reveal her. Or anything really, as the entire area was shrouded in thick fog and her vision was blurry anyway from landing headfirst; she heard her skull crack before she felt it, but oh she was feeling it now and the pain was immense. It winded her, and for a brief, horrible moment she couldn’t remember how to heal an injury that massive. She began to panic, but as her dark blood begin to seep from the wound her thoughts snapped back into focus. All energy was redirected to the wound that, were she anyone else, would have been fatal. It was agony and left her with the ghost of a migraine, blurring her sight once more and forcing her to sit in a poor approximation of rest. Still, even she knew she was lucky; if her neck had been angled even slightly differently it wouldn’t be a stretch to suspect the impact could have decapitated her. As it stood her narrow avoidance catastrophic damage came only through the good graces of the Tyrant’s rapid regenerative capabilities. Not that she would ever admit that. To anyone.

As she rubbed the freshly-patched wound she scanned the area, trying to force the fog to clear through sheer dint of will. This failed, and she growled in frustration.  _ Where the flip am I?  _ No sooner had her voice echoed in her mind did her eyes widen, first from how startled she was, then exhilaration.  _ What the bleep?! I can hear myself think again! Sweet!  _ To celebrate the momentous discovery the Unifier began running through every thought she could, merely because she could; recipes, the list of instruments she could play, the name of every human that she was forced to say goodbye to so they could leave for a better land, away from what would become Ooo. Nevertheless, this welcome change did nothing to placate her growing unease that she was surrounded by fog, obscuring but not preventing her from seeing a land both familiar and foreign, hearing sounds both familiar and foreign, wearing clothing both familiar-

_ Wait… wha? _

The first thing she noticed was the difference in biology.  She felt… smaller. She could feel herself breathe, and not because she chose to out of habit. Her hair was shorter now, she didn’t need to look to know that. Instead her hand shot to the side of her neck, but to her bewilderment her scars were gone.  _ Or… they haven’t happened yet?  _ Her hand was removed from her neck and she watched as she curled it into a fist. A tiny fist.  _ I’m… a kid again? Where the flub am I?  _ The second thing she noticed was her dramatic outfit change, clothing she hadn’t seen in over a thousand years. A red shirt. A blue skirt stylized as denim overalls. Striped socks. Black shoes, smaller than she remembered, really.  _ But the last time I wore this- no, don’t think about it, Marceline. You’ve got bigger problems. Like finding and strangling Linke. Good plan.  _ Out of habit her arm hooked over her shoulder to retrieve her bass, she felt her pulse-  _ I have a pulse?! - _ speed up. It was gone.

_ Where the flip am I?! Wait, is anyone else around here?  _ Her eyes closed in concentration, her focus entirely on sensing any of the others. To her distress the background noise that had previously been her alternate selves were gone, replaced with a numbing absence.  _ Alright, that’s new. Does… that mean we’re whole now? Or… I’m whole now? Which… made me a kid again? Okay, new plan. But… I’m bad at plans. Those were always Bonnie’s area. Oh, that’s a thing I could do! What would Bonnie do? Wait, why would I listen to Bonnie?! This is her fault in the first place! _

Just as her mental denunciation reached its apex she came out of her reverie to find the fog had dissipated in her mental absence. At first this brought her excitement to at least get the answer to the ‘where am I’ question, but whatever hope began to grow was quickly extinguished when she saw what laid beyond the haze.

_...Huh. _

The black tar road beneath her feet was covered in a fine grey dust that gave it a green tint. Familiar cracks spanned vertically, threatening to break open at any moment. Large round holes, broken at the edges, seemed to litter the path excessively. Visibly chipped and unstable, they threatened to swallow up an unsuspecting, inattentive soul. Poles that were more rust than metal laid collapsed on the ground, crackling wires surrounding them like a net atop more rusted hinges. Those that miraculously remained standing had bent and fractured signs bolted to them, but the text was too scratched out to decipher. Above her the sky was choked with tan dust, and what lay beyond that was a mystery.

‘Ruined’ did not begin to describe the buildings, or what was left of them. Tall - perhaps dozens of stories - they lined the road, each made of stone colored black, tan, or grey. There were no alleys and each structure was, without fail, covered by the strange green tint in blotches, much of the exposed area covered with graffiti too damaged by the rubble to make out. Regardless, most of the buildings had giant holes bored into them, the windows as black as the Unifier remembered. Many of these large buildings displayed signs, different from those of the poles or building walls. The metal structures were also exactly as she recalled: warped, broken, and only intact by the good graces of  the numerous wires supporting their weight from above. Yet it seemed that one had broken recently it seemed; it had crashed into a smaller stone building, splitting the blue pointed roof in half. The smell of rust was unmistakable, but the vampire couldn’t seem to remember how to block it out.

The silence was deafening.

Prior to her abduction by Linke the Unifier had always been able to sense her other selves. Those that were far away were harder to locate, but they were always, always there. It was white noise, something she had learned through the years to tune out. But now that white noise was gone, and she found herself completely unable to hear the silent music that called the half-demons to one another. It had been so long since the Unifier had been in silence - true, undisturbed quiet - that the realization struck her hard and she staggered, scanning the area in growing desperation for something - anything - that could make sound, something to assure her that she wasn’t-  _ no, don’t think about that, Marceline, don’t think about that at all you’re not you haven’t been in years you were for a long time but they wouldn’t do that to you so don’t even think about it the silence is a lie don’t listen- _

But it was already happening. Her hands were always where it began, because it would be exactly like her brain to start self-destructing by removing her ability to play music. They were trembling now and her eyes pinned at the immense effort to steady them, the effort that she already knew, deep down, would be in vain. The shaking made her skin prickle and she could feel sweat - legitimate sweat - bead down the back of her neck and her eyes shut tightly against the crawling sensation.  _ No no no no no  _ Needing something, anything, to focus on she dug her nails into the soft flesh of her arms, but of course now she had the hands of a child, a child who had yet to learn to always keep her nails just a bit too long, just in case. The helplessness made her shudder, which in turn elicited a snarl as she fought to turn her internal destruction external, where it could do her no further harm.

Opening her eyes proved to be a terrible mistake. It confirmed for her already floundering sanity just how empty this mute world was, how piercing the emptiness. It turned her stomach and a debilitating nausea clenched at her stomach only to spread north where her heart caught in her throat - perhaps literally, sometimes it was hard to tell.  _ Come on, Marceline, don’t wuss out you-  _ With no more ability left to stand she sat hard, knowing the alternative would be for her body to drop for her. Despite her best efforts she found that her breath was too erratic, her heart in a vice, and there may have been an actual spike going through her temples for all she knew - she was too afraid to look for sure but everything was spiralling out of control so it was entirely possible that-  _ Focus, Marceline, you need to fight it off you can do this you used to do this all the- _

Not wanting to go down The Road to Certain Insanity the Unifier derailed that frenetic train of thought, pushing herself forward...

_ Breathe, Marceline. I know you don’t need to but it’ll help. Trust me. _

...and stopped. It had been the voice of someone she was still furious with, risen unbidden from the depths of her memories. Someone she wanted out of her head.  _ Figures Bonnibel would have other plans. She won’t even let me be mad at her. She just keeps butting in- ...Wait, what the flip am I saying?! She’s not here, dummy. It’s just like… her voice. Butting in to your business. Which is… apparently you going insane. _

The Unifier was both impressed and horrified at how quickly her mind betrayed her, but couldn’t argue with the result: her body had calmed, not a great amount, but enough to allow her to stand. Her estranged-lover’s disembodied encouragement was the first indication of anything other than the hostile world she had been dropped into, and that knowledge disgusted her.  _ I have one setback and my brain runs back to Bonnie? Seriously? Where the flip does it get off telling me how to run my life? ...Unlife? Whatevs!  _ A growl emerged from the back of her throat and she shoved those thoughts away where she didn’t have to look at them anymore.  _ I don’t need her. So Linke dropped me back in the ruins. And I’m a lumping kid again. I went through the apocalypse alone once I can do it again! _

Her hand clenched tight enough to draw blood, the sharp pain focusing her enough to continue her trek to figure out where exactly she was and how exactly to get back to the Tree Fort. It was cumbersome to say the least; she couldn’t float, was less than half her adult size, and was cursed with relearning how physical exertion meant one ran out of breath and needed rest. As she moved she tried to make as much noise as possible, assuring herself that it was only because she wanted to give Marceline the opportunity to find her. But that was a lie and she knew it; if anything, making that much noise may even attract the attention of one of the monsters that lived in her mind, creatures she wasn’t exactly in the best condition to fend off. But the mute world was beginning to eat at her sanity, and the longer she stayed in it the more heavy and erratic her breath became, and she could feel herself slip into it, slip into-

_ It’s alright, Marcy. You’re alright. _

For the second time Bonnibel’s voice pierced her thoughts, bringing the supposed-to-be-a-vampire to a stop. Her breath caught and she wavered between wanting to follow her maybe-lover’s voice and wanting to deny that she existed at all. It was hard to tell which was the greater torture, but her mind seemed to have a preference of its own.

_ You’re not there anymore. _

The hand clenched once more, reopening the barely-healed gash. Her jaw clenched as her eyes squeezed shut. She knew now what the memory was. It was a memory of pain. Of fear. Of a weakness she vowed she would never allow herself experience ever again. Not then and especially not now. Not after what the princess did.

_ Look at me. See? _

Her mindscape seemed to have a differing opinion and she could feel her eyes slit in growing rage. “Stop it.”

_ You’re safe now. _

Not only was it forcing that memory to the forefront of her mind it was even having her recall the voice of someone she had loved so much. Someone who had broken her heart. Someone she never wanted to see again because it just hurt too much. If she concentrated, and she couldn’t help but do just that, she could almost feel the warm hand cupping her cheek, the pink fingers tracing her jawline. Only the knowledge that it wasn’t really there stopped her from trying to bite them off. “Stop. It.”

_ I promise. _

“STOP IT!”

Yet it did not stop, and she was forced to remember, no matter how loudly her mind screamed in protest, how many fingers she was breaking from clenching her hand too hard, how big a hole she had bitten in her cheek, how she felt like she was drowning from the blood spilling forth from the wound. It had been centuries ago, before she had made the catastrophic mistake that almost cost her the love of her life. 

Bonnibel’s castle construction was going well, but the biggest delay was Marceline herself; she was better than an entire wrecking crew, but travelling to and from her Tree Fort home simply took too long, especially given her nocturnal nature and natural time constraints. She was of the vocal opinion that, really, Bubblegum should just learn to block out the sun, but the young scientist was adamant that this would do more harm than good. Marceline was never quite sure why that was exactly, but to exchange commute time for quality time the soon-to-be princess elected for the queen to move into the castle, something the vampire readily agreed to. No sooner had the decision been made her nightmares - already a staple in her life - began to increase, as did her panic attacks that seemed without any cause. Marceline hadn’t wanted to bring them to her girlfriend’s attention but it was and would always be impossible to hide something from Bubblegum for long, and she noticed far quicker than could reasonably be expected of someone who did not have telepathy, which she was quite insistent she did not.

In true Bonnibel fashion the scientist followed her lover through her day, looking for any deviation that could explain her bizarre breakdowns. It had been frustrating for the candy golem at first, as the only pattern she could decipher was that they could occur at any time theoretically, but were almost exclusively reserved for the night, around the time she shared the younger woman’s bed to keep her company while she slept. Her first hypothesis was that she had thought it due to the location, but Marceline spent many days sleeping in her bed, even without her in the room. Then, perhaps, it would be idea that something was out there, but increased patrols revealed nothing out of the normal. It was infuriating to the younger woman, but the circumstances meant that she always missed the beginning of an attack. 

Then she had a breakthrough, and after significant trial and error she finally caught the very beginning of a panic attack, allowing her to identify the trigger: silence. After intense research Bonnibel found that Marceline’s Tree Fort experienced constant noise, both day and night, in the surrounding Grasslands to keep her company in the form of animals and small villages. But the fledgling kingdom was different. There were no denizens yet to make a ruckus, and no animals made it their natural home. When Marceline visited Bonnibel prior to the change in her living arrangement she slept during the day, through the cacophony of construction equipment and the candy golem’s usually ill-fated science experiments. At night, however, there was nothing for the vampire’s sensitive hearing to latch on to, particularly if Bubblegum had to leave her alone to complete some task that required only her expert touch. Bonnibel was rather proud of solving this mystery, but it only raised further questions: why would silence cause such a dramatic and adverse reaction for the older woman? Forgetting that the half-demon was embarrassed by what she considered a grave weakness in herself Bonnibel brought her discoveries to her attention, identifying sedatephobia as the culprit. In her humiliation Marceline had shut down, even leaving Ooo for a time to lick her proverbial wounds. When she did return, sheepish and certain she had ruined everything, Bubblegum had just smiled and pulled her into her arms, far more understanding than the singer had ever hoped.

Unbeknownst to Marceline the future princess had begun to put the pieces together in her absence and had a new working hypothesis as to where the damage stemmed from, and with yet more trial and error she confirmed her suspicions: silence just reminded the older woman too much of what it meant to be abandoned and truly alone. She had fancy words to describe it all, but beyond ‘trauma’ Marceline never really understood them or even cared to. Her strategy was to ignore it all, but true to form Bubblegum had crossed her arms, tapped her foot, and pointedly refused to let her avoid the problem. Instead she had spent literal days making her the devices that she would use for centuries to help cope if the world became too silent, and offered free access to the sound of the younger woman’s heartbeat so that the half-demon would always know where she was and that she was alright. More importantly, though, she had held her vampire and promised her safety. That she would never abandon her.

_ But you did, Bonnie. That’s exactly what you did.  _ Tears stung her eyes, and she hoped they were due to rage, not despair. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Bonnibel.  _ You made me think I was safe, then you pulled a silver dagger on me. How can I ever trust you again? _

The Unifier dug deep and pulled Anger from the spot within herself she had covered it, shoving Despair in its place, burying Forgiveness and Understanding with it. She tried to fit her love for the other woman in with the others, but even crushed it was too big, so she left it out and hoped it would rot away. With newfound strength she pressed onward once more, spurred on by all of the fantastic ways she could imagine killing Linke. And maybe Rechte for good measure.  _ I’m stronger than her now, right?  _ The idea that she may actually be stronger than any of the others for a change brightened her mood, giving her the energy to hasten her pace.  _ Alright, step one. Where the fuzz am I?  _ Although the Unifier rarely left her cave home for prolonged periods of time she still had years of experience being trapped in her own mind and had explored much of it. She knew of the Structures, the Gates, and everywhere in between, but this part of her mind was oddly foreign. It was true that she was back in the ruins, but they weren’t a part she recognized. Something about them was familiar, as if she had seen these same sights long ago, when she was a different person.  _ Well… I’m a kid. So maybe-  _

There. That was familiar. Something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she turned sharply, climbing over the rubble that was now larger than she was. Around her the buildings seemed to change in some slight way, which only further encouraged her that she was going the right direction.  _ Maybe Finn was onto something with this whole ‘video game’ logic deal. Better be.  _ Clearing the rubble took far too long, and her reward was further confusion: her path had taken her from the ruins to the border of the false-Grasslands. Her eyes widened in bafflement, then quickly scanned her surroundings.  _ What the…? Okay. This is way too bonkers. There’s the line that separates the Grasslands from the ruins. And the sky’s still dust. I don’t see the Thorn Gate, so I’ve gotta be pretty far from the Tree Fort. Figs.  _ Puffing her cheeks in frustration did nothing to guide her, but before she could begin yelling her frustration to the sky she heard something soft. Something musical. Something familiar.

_...Oh no. _

The Unifier meant to rush towards it, really she did, but something within her rooted her to the ground.  _ No. No, Marceline. Don’t do it. It’s a lie, just like everything and everyone else in this place is a lie.  _ She did a poor job of convincing herself.  _...Okay, one peek. Then back to hunting down and beating the tar out of Linke.  _ Praising herself on her fantastic plan of action the Unifier trudged towards the soft singing, so familiar it almost broke her heart.  _ If someone else didn’t do it first.  _ The bitter thought was pushed aside once more when she saw where her path had lead her. The half-demon swallowed hard at what lay before her: A dark metal trailer. Old, familiar toys exactly as she remembered them lay in the front. The garden where she once grew pet rocks was undisturbed. A mailbox that once had two names was bolted into the side, but it was dented after one of the larger pet rocks erroneously assumed it could fly - something completely and totally and absolutely not Marceline’s fault. Eyes still wide the Unifier flipped her head over her shoulder, but the ruins were nowhere to be seen. Her intake of breath was sharp, and she knew it was a really, really good idea to leave and retrace her path.

But when had Marceline Abadeer ever listened to a really good idea?

Instead she inched closer to the trailer, the music becoming clearer. It was singing, soft and feminine, a song she would know anywhere in anytime and anyplace. The voice was that of a stranger’s, but she already knew what - who - she would find in that trailer. Shaking, she stepped forward slowly and quietly, her own voice joining into the song softly. She wasn’t used to how young it sounded, and it almost startled her enough to cause her to stop. Almost. If the singer was aware she had an audience she gave no indication one way or the other, and the Unifier took this as permission to enter the home. Her home. With one trembling hand on the metal door that was always so much cleaner from within the home than from the outside she pushed inside, taking every effort not to make a sound. Not to interrupt the song, as if the woman inside could be frightened away. As if anything had ever-

It was exactly as she remembered it. The moss green and tan checkered floor. The small round table bolted into the floor in front of a soft, brown couch big enough for three - though there was only ever two. The ancient television mounted to the top of the opposite wall. The off-white kitchen cabinets, the stovetop covered with the pots and pans they couldn’t fit. The fridge she was afraid to open, lest it only be filled with red. To her side she knew there would be a red passenger’s seat placed closely against driver’s seat, which would be sat behind a faded coffee-stained and metal wheel. So many details blurred together, so much she hadn’t seen in over a thousand years.

Someone she hadn’t seen in over a thousand years, whose identity she knew almost solely through the pictures left in her pockets and an old thumb drive. A woman with olive skin and short, inky black hair. She remembered that white shirt, and the green jacket she always wore over it. The green boots. The torn jeans. That voice. That song. She was sitting on the couch, by the window. Light was shining through, something that the Unifier knew she should be wary of but couldn’t be bothered to remember why. Her eyes were closed as she sang, head rested on the couch’s back and turned towards the sun. She had a leg propped on the vacant table across from her, the other under her. Her arms were wrapped around herself, fingers absently playing with the jacket’s threading in the exact same way Marceline always did when she was feeling pensive.

She knew this woman.

“...Mom?”

The woman stopped singing and blinked, clearly unaware that she had an audience. Her brief moment of startlement ceased when she saw the little girl in the doorway, too shy to enter the house proper but too hopeful to run away. She smiled and the Unifier knew that gentle smile, saw it sometimes in her dreams when she was younger and still hoped she was coming ba-

“Hey Marceline.”

The young half-demon didn’t hesitate to take that greeting as permission. She ran into the small house, to the couch, where she felt herself pulled into a very warm and inviting embrace. As a warm and human hand began to stroke her hair the Unifier felt her taboo break and she cried softly in the shoulder of the woman who spoke softly, exactly as she remembered in the dreams she sometimes had of her still when her subconscious decided to give her a reprieve from the nightmares.

“Hey, it’s okay, Marceline. It’s alright.”

As the Unifier was pulled into her mother’s lap small, grey hands gripped her jacket, staying that way for as long as she cried. Her mother did nothing to pull her away, only stroking her hair and the back of her neck. When her tears failed to stop on their own she pulled her daughter close, picking up her song -  _ their  _ song - where she had left off. The soon-to-be-vampire wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that; even after she calmed she enjoyed the feeling of being held by her actual mother too much to interrupt her. Instead she patiently waited for the song to conclude, but once in that position she realized that she had no idea how to begin. Instead she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

“What are you doing here?”

Her voice was quiet, strained, and not her own. A thumb reached up to wipe the last of the tears away. There was calm humor in her voice. “What do you mean?”

_ What do I mean?  _ “...I don’t know.”

Her tiny hand was grasped by a larger one. “Well, think it over. You don’t need to rush through everything.”

The Unifier mulled that logic over. “...I don’t know. A lot’s happened lately. At least… I think it’s lately. I don’t know.”

Her mother ignored her rambling. “Well, let’s start there. What’s happened to get you so down?”

_ How do I even begin to answer that one?  _ “I don’t even know where to begin with that, mom.”

“I recommend the beginning.”

Her face scrunched in displeasure at the response, but her mother only smiled.  _ Fair enough. Kind of.  _ “...I tried on dad’s amulet.” Her mother’s look became concerned, but she didn’t interrupt. “I wanted to try to control it.”

“Why, Marceline?”

She drew her legs to her chest and hugged them. “I found my mate. She wanted me to try to control it so she could do some legal junk and be a queen. She’s a princess now. I just… wanted to make her happy.”

Her mother made a hum of acknowledgement. “That sounds pretty scary.”

The future-rockstar nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been in my mind for a long time. Well, me and the other… me’s. It’s really weird.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I can see that.” 

The Unifier eyed her mother suspiciously. “You don’t seem to think it’s  _ that  _ weird.” 

The response was soft laughter. “Marceline, do you remember the story of how I met your father?”  _...Right. I forgot who I was talking to. Smooth, Marceline.  _ Evidently the answer was written clearly on her face because the question remained rhetorical. Instead the woman pulled her child closer. “Is it just you all in your mind?”

A deep, frustrated sigh. “No. Bonnie’s here, too. My mate. And Finn and Jake.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem very happy to see them.”

With a scowl the Unifier turned away. “...Maybe I’m not.”

“...Or maybe you are.”

Now she buried her face in a pillow, cheeks hot. “...Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The smile reached her voice. “Marceline, it’s hard to talk to you when you’re trying to be a pillow.”

“Maybe I  _ am  _ a pillow,” she grumbled.

A soft chuckle. “Alright, Ms. Pillow. Can you tell me why Marceline doesn’t seem very happy to see her friends?”

The Unifier pondered that. It was a difficult question, but the false anonymity of her mask, coupled with her mother’s casual acceptance of her situation, was encouraging. “...They shouldn’t be here.”

“Why shouldn’t Marceline’s friends be here?”

“...They don’t belong here.”

“Does Marceline belong here?”

The Unifier didn’t respond. She had no idea how to. If it were anyone else there would have been no hesitation; she would have snapped that she belonged anywhere she wanted to be, freedom was kind of her thing. But it was hard to make that argument to the woman who raised you, who protected you from the end of the world for as long as she could until-

“...Marceline thinks it’s better if she stays here.”

“Why does she think that, Ms. Pillow?” A gentle hand rubbed soft circles on the Unifier’s back as concerned edged into her mother’s voice.

“...Just easier.”

Another hum of acknowledgement. “Do you think Marceline’s afraid to go back home, Ms. Pillow?”

The words escaped before she could stop them. “Marceline doesn’t have a home.”

Now she felt two strong arms wrap around her, pulling her back into her mother’s lap. “Marceline, of course you have a home.”

The half-demon shook her head, not wanting to look the older woman in the eye. “Nah.” 

She felt a warm hand take her’s, the thumb rubbing her smaller palm. After a heavy pause its owner’s voice came through, morose. “I can’t imagine how hard this all must have been for you, Marceline. You were so young when I had to leave.” The Unifier almost asked why she did, but shoved the question away. It was best not to ask things you didn’t want to know the answer to. Instead she said nothing except to answer her mother’s next question. “What happened?”

She squeezed the hand. It squeezed back. “Well… Simon found me. He took care of me for a few years but… he had a cursed crown and it took him away from me, too. So it was just me for awhile, until I found a dog. Schwabl. We’ve been together ever since. We found a bunch of people, protected them from vampires, but I got bit and they went away, too. Went to sleep for a long time when it got too cold, and when I woke up it was a bazillion years later. Bonnie found me. Then I found Simon again, and Finn and Jake. They’re the two that came looking for me with Bonnie. Simon’s still nuts.”

It was more of a ramble than an explanation, but her mother seemed to follow along with it surprisingly well. “It sounds like your friends are really worried about you if they came all this way to find you. Do you want to go back with them?” 

Marceline shook her head, turning her body away. But she made sure not to leave the lap as her hand grasped the green jacket. “...It’s just better this way.” She felt a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Marceline, what’s wrong?”

She sighed deeply. “...Me, I guess. I’m wrong. Bonnie only wanted me to control the amulet so she could use me. The others of me… they’re not all awesome. Finn and Jake got seriously messed up just trying to find me in the first place. And then trying to  _ fix  _ me? I just made things a thousand times worse. Finn got his arm ripped off for me and I couldn’t even fix that.”

Her mother’s hand rested over the one she had gripping her jacket. “You’re afraid you’re going to hurt them, aren’t you?”

“Mom… I’m a monster. I always knew that. I just didn’t know how big a monster until I got here. Until they got here.”

“Marceline, look at me.” Not taking no for an answer, she turned her daughter to look at her, forcing her to meet all of the love and sincerity held in her eyes. “Marceline, you’re not a monster. Even your father’s not a monster. No part of you is a monster.” Her free hand came up to cup her hybrid child’s cheek. “You’re half-demon. But you know what that means? It means that you’re also half-human. Right now you’re just seeing yourself from a different angle. You’re still you, and you’re not scary. I think your friends know that. It’s why they came all this way to find you. They could have just left after they got hurt, right?” Her daughter grumbled and she knew she was right. “See? They didn’t, though. You’re worth it to them.” She sighed as she pulled the Unifier against her. “I know you’re afraid, Marceline. You’ve always felt things so strongly. You were forced to grow up in a chaotic and hostile world, and you’re still so young.”

The half-demon fixed her with a level stare. “Mom, I’m over a thousand years ago.”

The older woman laughed softly. “No you aren’t, Marceline. You’ve lived for over a thousand years, but you’re still only nineteen.” She felt her cheeks grow hot again, but her mother ignored her embarrassment. “You’re afraid, Marceline. And that’s okay. That’s a human thing. You’re used to losing people and you just want to protect them. Like you did for the humans, even though you knew it meant they’d leave you alone again. But right now you’re the one that needs to be protected. And that’s okay, too.” She took her hand, catching the Unifier’s gaze and keeping it steady. “Whether you should go back to Ooo or not is a hard decision. If you don’t you’ll miss everything you love about being there, things I know you don’t remember right now. The moon, the stars. Red food.” She paused briefly, watching her child fondly. “If you stay down here you’ll always wonder about what you’re missing. If your friends are okay and happy.” Her thumb stroked the underside of her wrist. “I don’t think you want to stay here because you like it here. I think you want to stay here because it gives you an easy way out of a scary situation, because you’re tired of fighting all the time. That’s understandable. But if you want to say goodbye to your friends do it there, Marceline. Not here. This place isn’t safe for you.” Her smile became wry. “Besides, you know they’ll just keep coming back here until you agree to go home with them. If they wanted to abandon you I think they would have done it already, wouldn’t they?” 

_...She’s not wrong.  _ “But Bon-”

The thumb moved to her palm. “The problem you and Bonnie are having is a different problem than the one you have with Finn and Jake, and that’s different than the one you’re having with your own safety and well-being. It’s not just one issue. There’s a lot of muck that’s happening at once, and it’s a lot to deal with. You’ll have to make a choice not just because of one of those problems, but with all of them in mind.” Their fingers laced as the half-demon muttered her disgust with that irrefutable logic. “Your friends came down here because they care, and I think they’re going to keep caring even if you try to push them away. You can’t make them not care, just because you think it’s better this way. It just doesn’t work like that.” The hug tightened. “I know that probably sounds scary, especially for someone like you. You’ve spent a very long time looking for a place to call home. But I think you know, Marceline.” She kissed her forehead. “You already have a home. Now, go find them.”

The Unifier held the hand tightly, letting a few stray tears fall. “...I love you, mom.”

“I love you too, Marceline. I’m so proud of you.”

As their hands drop another voice, a familiar voice, called from over her shoulder.

“There you are!”

The Unifier flipped around to find two individuals. The first was, to her great relief, Marceline, who looked exactly as she always did, piercings and all. It prompted the Unifier to look down at herself, discovering to her bafflement that she had returned to her normal clothing. And size. And vampiric physiology. A raised eyebrow from her counterpart, a clear ‘you too?’ if there ever was one, indicated that she had gone through a similar experience. What was more important at that moment, however, was the second individual.

“...Jake?”

Jake stood before her, brown messenger bag wrapped around him like a cape, tail wagging slightly in a way he did nothing to hide. He was larger and taller than normal, something that seemed bizarre until she realized why.

“My bass!”

The Unifier gleefully snatched her bass, feeling an immense weight lift from her shoulders as she strapped it once more to her back. Now free of carrying the heavy instrument Jake returned to his normal size, the bag-cape staying exactly where it was. “Man, we’ve been looking everywhere for you! One minute I’m in snoozing happily and the next I wake up in this place! It was messed up!” 

The Unifier raised her eyebrow. “How did you find me? And where exactly are we?” 

Marceline snorted, “Apparently we smell like death. Literal death.” 

Jake squinted at her. “I  _ meant  _ because you’re corpses! Walking corpses!” 

Before the two could begin bickering the weaker vampire separated them. “Cool, so about that second question?” 

Now Jake tilted his head in confusion. “Oh wait. You were serious?”

“...Yeah?”

“You don’ts know where we are?”

“...No?”

The two stared at each other before the dog shrugged. “We’re in the Thorn Gate.”

Silence, as this revelation sank in. Then, “WHAT?”

Marceline sighed in irritation. “Yeah. Looks like Linke dropped us in here. No way to tell how long ago that was, but Jake says he’s been looking for us for awhile.”

“...Wait, how’d you get here, Jake?”

The hero stretched, enjoying the feeling of no longer needing to carry the heavy, sharp weapon. “You were all being loud back at the Tree Fort so I went to take a nappy. I found Bubblegum’s messenger bag and rolled up inside since it was so warm and quiet. Well there I was, minding my own business, sleeping, when I hit the ground like a handsome rock. I climb out and, yup, in the Thorn Gate. Thought I was alone until I saw your basses, knew you couldn’t be too far if they weren’t with you. So I went searchin’, found Marceline, and then found you, and now here we are.”   
  
“I thought Bonnie’s knife was in the bag?”

Jake made a look of revulsion. “You think I’d take a nap next to something that could gank me? I’m pretty picky about where I nap, thank you very much. Like a connoisseur of sleep. With a degree and everything.”

“...Fair enough, I guess, but-”

“Hang on,” Marceline interjected. “How do you know we’re in the Thorn Gate?”

“Uh… ‘cuz I’ve been here before and have eyebones?”

“Yeah, but… the Thorn Gate messes with you so you don’t even know where you are. I don’t even know where I am and I live here. So how do you?”

At first Jake said nothing to that, only seeming to ponder it intensely. Then he laughed. Nothing malicious or mocking, just something soft and knowing. “You said this place freaks with your mind, right? Feeds off of the dark wiggly things in your soul to gunk up your brain? Well, I don’t let it.”

“Dude, that makes no sense.”

“Nah, I always make sense.” He chuckled. “Man, you guys are getting hung up on imaginary problems.” He looked to the Unifier. “You said that you can’t stay here too long because it makes you think you’re home, right? I know you’ve got some messed up stuff in your past, stuff you’re not ready to deal with yet. I’ll tell you what I told my pupster though, you can’t just hide from your problems. It doesn’t solve anything. It just puts it in a place you can’t see it, and if you can’t see it you don’t know when it’ll strike and bite your butt.” Before she could respond he turned to Marceline. “Same kind of deal for you too, Marceline. I don’t know what your thing is because you’re a butt that won’t share with your bros, but I got eyes and you gotta focus on what’s real. Letting go of stuff is the hardest and scariest thing you can do. And for awhile it feels really empty inside. But then you realize that it’s not empty, you just have more room to put the good stuff. Like when you take all the gross expired snacks out of the vending machine. It looks like an empty machine, but that’s because you haven’t put in the awesome new snacks in yet.” He paused then to watch the two parts of his friend. When he saw they were listening, actually listening without arguing with his insight and assertion, he took their hands. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.” He tugged gently, and while Marceline followed readily the Unifier hesitated before trudging behind. He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t wanna get out of here?” Her voice was strained. 

“I’m not exactly sure how you think we’re going to find our way out. Like I said, I  _ live  _ here and I never could-” 

He snorted. “Oh, that. Don’t worry, I’ll lead us out. Count on Ol’ Jake.”

“And how exactly do you plan to do that, guy?”

He shrugged, pleased that despite her reservations the Unifier was still following his lead. “I don’t really take anything this place shows me seriously. I like my life. I like me. Sure, I got problems, but nothing it can hurt me with. I live in the moment. It’s a dog thing, you guys probably wouldn’t get it.”

“...Yeah. Not really.”

He shrugged again, pace not slowing. “Eh, it’s not for everyone. Takes a keen and fabulous mind to reach this level of zen. But the point is that you two can’t find your way out of here on your own yet because of all those dark wiggly things messing with your mindmeats. And that’s okay, you know? That’s what you got me for, dude. This kind of thing happens to me all the time. You know how many adventures Finn would’ve croaked on because of something like this? A lot. You just gotta take it slow and let all this biz take its course. Sometimes you get out without anything wrong. Sometimes you gotta put the pieces back together. No big deal.”

The Unifier partially-successfully repressed a growl. “How is that not a big deal?”

Unseen by either vampire, Jake rolled his eyes. “See, that’s what I mean. You’re fighting this place too hard. It’s probably why it took us so long to find you. I found Marceline a lot faster than I found you, and it’s probably because you’re an emotional tightwad. But like I said, no big deal. You’re not used to opening up yourself to yourself. Baby steps, my friend. You suck at it now but you won’t suck at it always. This is as much suck at this as you’ll ever be!” 

The Unifier turned to Marceline, who offered a hapless shrug and was no help whatsoever. “You don’t get it, Jake.”

“Eh, maybe not. I’m not you. Only you do what you-do. Whatever you’ve been doing isn’t working though, or you wouldn’t be lost in a place designed to mess you up. None of this is real, Marcelines. Just one big trial for you to stomp.” Now the Unifier fell silent, the surprisingly wise words of her friends taking the place of her apathy and trepidation. Wherever he was leading them it seemed to be working; for better or for worse it was growing harder to hear her own thoughts once more.

Marceline eyed the Unifier and found her own question echoed. “We could just fly up. We don’t need to go through it.” 

Jake blew a raspberry. “See, that’s the problem with kids these days. They all want to take shortcuts. Back when I was your age I listened to my elders!” He could feel their less-than-agreeable gazes on the back of his head. “Nah, but really, you can’t get around this just because it makes you uncomfortable. Seriously, just trust me on this, okay? I’m not gonna leave you here.” 

Both vampires eyed one another, mutually deciding to just go with their friend on this one. With a deep breath Marceline squeezed his paw. The Unifier scowled, or at least made a valiant attempt at doing so, but the conversation with her mother was too fresh to let her do something so distasteful. Delayed, she squeezed his paw as well. Only then did he squeeze both back. “See? Not so bad. Come on, let’s go back to the Tree Fort and all its wonderful food and beds.” They silently echoed his sentiment and trailed behind obediently.

Admittedly, the Thorn Gate became a bit more bearable with a guide that was impossible to lead astray. Neither vampire ever had the opportunity - or the inclination - to properly observe the Gate’s illusions, but now they had no choice. They found themselves surrounded by the ghosts of their shared past; friends and allies long since gone, previous homes that no longer stood standing. The mall they had found Schwabl. The fire pit they had first befriended the humans. The grove of trees that had, the moment she looked away, become a lake of butterscotch. The decrepit carnival she first got to know her father, when he had given her the axe. Places that had turned bittersweet with age. There were even more places spanning the horizon, but the effort of observing each one was dizzying. For a brief moment Marceline debated turning into a small bat to hitch a ride on her counterpart, but decided against it; even she knew that now was not the time for such pranks. Whatever experience the Unifier had endured she looked worse for the wear of the two. When sight proved too much the Unifier took a deep breath she no longer needed and shut her eyes, squeezing Jake’s paw and unable to resist smiling when he didn’t hesitate to squeeze back. Now she could hear the voices she had forgotten were there, but there was no forgetting them now, nor would there be any success in tuning them out, not that the Unifier had the energy left in her to try. But the voices were, mercifully, soft and faded, more one-word musings than actual sentences. Until-

_ I’m glad you’re back. _

Her eyes shot open and she almost stumbled, her position righted by an now-unseen paw that continued to lead her forward from the depths of the Gate’s fog.

_...Yeah? _

_ I was worried that something happened to you. _

_ Well… I did kind of act like a ding dong and flip out over the place. _

_ Silly. I missed you, Marcy. _

_ Bon… I missed you too. _

_...I have something to confess, Marceline. I- _

But the sentence was cut off at the exact moment the rest of the voices ceased, which also happened to coincide with their guide grinding to a halt in front of them. “Nailed it!” When her vision returned to normal she realized why Jake was so jubilant: the three had finally made it outside of the Thorn Gate. Marceline shared his excitement and high-fived him, complimenting his ability to not get them brain-sucked or worse and causing him to puff his furry chest in pride. “Yeah, I know, I’m awesome.” 

The Unifier groaned from the sudden changes, rubbing her temples. “Ugh. You wanna carry me, Nameless?” 

Before Marceline could launch her sarcastic retort Jake called back, “I got it!” Before either queen knew what was happening their dog friend was twenty times his size and had already scooped the pair onto his back. “There ya go.” The two immortals shared a look before Marceline shared it with her friend. “Uh…” He rolled his eyes at her stammer. “You look like you’re gonna pass out, so if you’re gonna pass out you might as well make the most of it. That’s what I always say!” 

Once more the two exchanged a work before Marceline grinned, lounging on the dog’s back. “Hey, thanks dude.” 

He gave her a thumbs up. “Cool, who’s ready to go hooooommmee?!”

“Wait.”

Both Marceline and Jake slowly turned to the Unifier, as if to remind her of what a rhetorical question was, but fell quiet when they saw her solemn expression. “What’s up?” 

After a pause that seemed to cause her some physical pain she turned Marceline. “Burn it.” 

There was no need to ponder what ‘it’ referred to. Garnet eyes blinked as the stronger half-demon shot up from her lounging position. “Woah. You sure?” Not trusting her voice, the Unifier nodded. After a quick look to Jake the queen produced a carmine flame and, following one more reassuring nod from her other self, she threw it to the Gate which became immediately engulfed. To Jake that was his cue to exit and he began the journey home as Marceline pulled the Unifier to lay next to her, the latter too entranced with the immolation to register what was happening around her. For a moment Jake almost made a pun about the thorny situation they found themselves in, but his friends’ ashen looks convinced him otherwise. He left them to watch the spectacle in private, knowing that he could never be able to understand the importance of that moment.

It was beautiful, though.

_ Well, this isn’t how I expected our day to go. Man, when I get home Finn’s gonna be sad he missed- _

His eyes widened, his pupils pinning.

_ Oh flip! FINN! _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Lawful Good
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Eliminated:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	18. Appeal to Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Hey guys! Welcome to Act 3 of Rehearsal! Now's the part of the story where everyone is properly motivated to actually solve the whole "our friend has a broken psyche" problem and given the tools to actually do it. From here on out there's going to be a perpetual or near-perpetual "Graphic Violence" warning.
> 
> In addition, my goal is to include the remaining number of chapters to go along with the next chapter I post. That way you all know what to reasonably expect from the rest of the story in terms of length. It may not be flawlessly accurate, but I really don't want to do a "surprise, this is the last chapter!" kind of thing.
> 
> I forgot to mention this before, but this universe officially has a title, courtesy of a reviewer on FF.net. Welcome to the Symphony universe, because it's a delightfully cliche title and I love it.
> 
> Content warnings:
> 
> Graphic Violence  
> Failed Mind Games  
> Why Yes, I Am Having Fun With This Phoebe Thing, How Can You Guess?  
> Fatality

**** Finn Mertens knew lots of things.

He knew how to overpower giants in hand-to-hand combat. He knew how to play the flute. He knew how to spit very long distances. He knew how to accidentally crush opponents in Card Wars. He even knew how to make delightful paper cranes.

What Finn Mertens  _ didn’t  _ know was what the flip just happened.

He ran over everything in his mind, again and again, in a futile attempt to make sense of an illogical and unfortunate chain of events. First, he and the others arrived at the Tree Fort-approximation with the intention of roping Linke and Rechte into helping them reach ‘the wad’ before the Usurper did, giving them the opportunity to recruit her as an ally for a kick-butt final showdown that would hopefully end in their favor for a change of pace. While he, Marceline, and the princess took some time to rest Jake had immediately begun preparing yet another meal before declaring his intention to take a nap, though the boy supposed being a mighty steed would take it out of a guy. The Unifier took Linke and Rechte to the living room to update them on their adventure thus far, which seemed okay… until they found out that Marceline forgave Bubblegum. 

Then everything got ugly: Linke abducted Marceline and the Unifier, taking off for who-knows-where. Then Rechte had pulled the candy golem upstairs to the living room, using what seemed to be a strong telekinetic field to prevent Finn from following. It also seemed to be preventing him from hearing whatever conversation was occurring, assuming it was a conversation at all and not something much darker. He shook his head clear of that suspicion  _ No. It’s still Marceline. She wouldn’t hurt PB. I mean, the Usurper would, but if Rechte wanted to pull something she wouldn’t go through all this trouble. ...Right? Maybe?  _ He suddenly hoped the princess had her dagger, just in case. If anything, he found himself more worried for his vampiric ladybros; he had expected that they would easily overpower Linke, but they still weren’t back, and that couldn’t possibly bode well. More alarming to him, though, was Linke’s request to ‘play’ with him. It was never a good thing when bad guys wanted to ‘play’ with heroes, and something deep in his gut told him that Linke wasn’t exactly their friend. What with the kidnapping and all. To make matters worse, Jake was also missing.

Something about assuming any part of Marceline - save for the Usurper - was a villain sickened him on a personal level. They had been best friends for years, and except for that one time with the kicking him out of his house she had never been aggressive or cruel to him. He had, after all, been one of the first residents of Ooo to believe her not to be a bad guy, or a monster, no matter what she argued. Still, if his gut was telling him not to trust Linke he was going to listen. With a nod to himself he glanced once more to the upper trapdoor for good measure, then quietly made his way to the lower one. With any luck Rechte would be too engrossed in whatever she was doing to hear him; his gut wasn’t quite sure what to make of her, but seemed to be airing on the side of ‘she’s a good guy’, which was the only reason he wasn’t trying to break through her telekinetic field. With relief he found the forcefield didn’t extend to the downstairs, and he descended the ladder carefully. It would be just like Marceline to jump out and scare him, and he was just too anxious to enjoy her usually amusing pranks. The fact remained, though: Rechte had sequestered herself, Marceline and the Unifier were taken away, Jake was missing-

_ Someone will be with you shortly. _

...and that. If Linke was back before any of the others he would have to contend with her alone, and he didn’t know enough about her to know how to properly navigate that minefield.  _ Snap, I don’t even know what part of Marce she is!  _ He was on his own for this confrontation, with only one arm - and not even his sword-arm at that - and the hero needed a way to level the playing field fast.

As he descended the ladder he was struck with an idea. Back in the foyer he took a quick scan of the room, searching for his target. Despite Linke’s haste nothing seemed damaged or different about the room at all, and, most importantly, he found exactly what he was looking for, right out in the open. Leaning against each of the monsterly-large stereos were two axe-basses, one blade-side up, the other down.  _ That’s weird that they didn’t take them. But good. I think. Maybe.  _ He approached both of them slowly, as if they may suddenly animate on their own and assault him. In this world it didn’t seem impossible, but if they did possess such abilities they weren’t using them at the moment, which is to say he reached them with no problem. With a hard gulp he rested his flesh arm on one, wrapping his hand around the staff cautiously. It felt warm, and his resolve cemented.  _ Sorry Marce. I’ll make this up to you.  _ With a deep breath, and a cold pit in his stomach, he strapped the bass to his back.

Briefly forgetting himself, he extended his other arm to the remaining bass before realizing why exactly that was impossible. With a frown at the remains of his mechanical arm he glanced to the ladder, then back to instrument in frustration. On the one hand, he doubted he could carry both weapons up the ladder with only one arm. He was strong, but axes aren’t exactly light objects. On the other hand, he had no idea whose bass he was already carrying, and he  _ really  _ didn’t want Linke to have-  _ Alright, let’s do this fast.  _ Finn practically sprinted up the ladder in a way that would probably be funny if he weren’t doing something that, even in the real Ooo, would likely be a death penalty.  _ Oh man, she’s going to be so mad about this.  _ With the speed only granted someone during an ‘afraid for their life’ adrenaline rush Finn brought the first bass up, quickly retrieving the second despite his fatigue from the weight. Now back in the kitchen he looked around the room frantically, realizing the flaw in his clever plan: he had neglected to find a suitable location to hide the axes before absconding with them.  _ Okay. Uh…  _ He deposited the first bass on the couch with a frown, then picked it back up again.  _ No, she’d definitely notice it just sitting on the couch.  _ He was wasting time and he knew it.  _ Wait! I know!  _ Just as he finished stashing the first bass he heard the front door slam.  _ Oh crud!  _ He was still holding when the second-to-last vampire he ever wanted to see floated up the ladder.

There before him floated Linke, exactly as she was before she left save for her hair, which was now more unkempt, possibly due to her flight. She was also grinning, a manic glint in her eyes. Needless to say, it was quite unsettling. “Man, that was awesome! You should have seen it, Finn! I was all ‘whoosh!’ and the Unifier and Other One were all ‘oh no help us we’re lame!’ but I was like ‘not today, losers!’. You weren’t there, but trust me on this, it was great.” But then she saw. She saw the human standing straight as a rail, looking every bit as guilty as he was, bass held in his hand as it rested its blade on the ground where it was less likely to do serious harm. Her manic disposition died, her eyes narrowed, and without a word she was back down the ladder where she came from. Finn took a deep breath.  _ Alright guy. Stay calm. She’s still Marceline. You’ve dealt with her being upset before. I mean, you’ve never taken her- _

And like that the vampire was back, narrowed eyes slitted in challenge. “Where’s my bass, Finn?” The question was too calm. It didn’t hold the same level of danger as the Usurper’s trick questions, but more than he’d ever like to hear come from his friend. 

“Uh… right here?” He held up the instrument, her eyes flickering to it before returning to him. 

“That’s  _ Rechte’s _ bass. Where’s  _ my  _ bass?” 

He blinked at the abrupt judgment.  _ Wait, they can tell the difference between their instruments, just like that? That’s… actually kinda cool.  _ “What makes you say that?” 

She raised an eyebrow, her look of pure unamusement. “They’re a part of us, Finn. We’d know them anywhere. Like how you’d know your own ar-” She stopped then, eyes flickering to the remains of his metal arm. “Oh. Right. Sorry.” Satisfied now that the axe in his hand wouldn’t be used to kill or otherwise maim him, Finn rested it on the couch with deliberate movements.

“Look, Marce, I just want to talk. Okay?” To emphasize his point he motioned to his sword. “I’m gonna move this out of the way. Okay?” Holding up his hand in a sign that he meant no arm he slowly leaned down, wrapping it around the hilt. Without lifting the weapon he pushed it back, away from him. “See?”

If she looked she didn’t care. “I’m not going to ask again.  _ Finnberly Mertens, where is my flippin’ bass?!”  _ Her right hand flicked, a tiny cobalt flame forming and dispersing as it flexed. Finn blinked.  _ Huh. Okay, that’s new. Gonna have to watch out for that.  _ Once again, he lifted his hand in a sign of peace. 

“Marce, ladybro, just listen to me, okay-” 

Linke growled softly. “No, you listen to  _ me _ . This is what you do! You get in my way! You and Jake! Speaking of which…” Dropping her attention from the human, Linke quickly scanned the room. “Jake! Where are you? We’re having a conversation and it’s rude to ignore your hostess!” When he failed to appear she turned back to Finn with an accusing glare, who shrugged. 

“Haven’t seen him.” 

To his surprise she only frowned. “Weird. Oh well. I’ll deal with him after I deal with you. Where was I?” 

When he realized she was looking at him expectantly he blinked once more. “Oh. Uh… Jake and I get in your way?”

“Oh yeah! Thanks. But yeah, this is what you guys do. You get in my way.”

He realized then that, despite her outburst filled to the brim with animosity and the malicious glimmer in her eyes, Linke had yet to actually do anything in of itself threatening. Well, except for that whole ‘fireball’ thing, but he could totally overlook that in the name of their friendship. Unlike the Usurper, whose mental instability came out in frenetic homicidal mania, Linke just seemed plain old furious and it gave him hope that he could talk her down. It wouldn’t be the first time. “What do you mean, Marce? We’re your bros!” 

She snorted at the claim, once more scanning the room in search of her instrument-weapon, her agitation visibly growing when it failed to magically materialize. “Cool, right, let’s go with that. Or let’s not. You remember how we met, Finn?” Of course he did. How could he not? 

“Yeah, you found Jake and me living in the Tree Fort.”

“ _ My  _ Tree Fort. You were squatting in it.”

She wasn’t wrong, even if it was unintentional squatting.  _ Probably shouldn’t get into that again.  _ Instead he nodded slowly. “Yeah, I remember, Marce. We didn’t know it was yours. So we left and moved to the cave because we didn’t know that was yours too. Then we fought-”  _ I was totes winning though  _ “-and you had fun, so you kept the cave because of the righteous job we did fixing it up and gave us back the Tree Fort.” Now was not the time to remind her that she also traded the deed to their home to Kim Kil Whan for a lunatic bass. It could, in fact, be the worst possible time. 

“Yeah, I kicked you out, Rechte let you back in, and you’ve been making me weaker ever since!” Finn successfully hid his surprise.  _ Wait. Rechte was the one who let us go home? So she is a good guy!  _ He repressed a smile, unexpectedly relieved that not only was the princess actually safe but they may have a new ally. Unfortunately, it seemed as though Linke either had mind-reading powers or was just really astute. ‘She’s not  _ here,  _ doofus. Don’t expect her to come save you.” 

He coughed nervously. “Oh. Uh. I was totally thinking about something else. Yup.” Now he actually caught on to the second part of her claim. “Wait, what do you mean? We’ve been making you… weaker?”  _ What are you?  _ He knew better than to ask that question. He knew Marceline. He knew he could figure it out. Probably.

“I was  _ stronger  _ than Rechte. Or at least equal, you know, depending on whatevs. We had a good thing going! Exploring Ooo, partying with fans, terrorizing small children… we did anything we wanted! The only one who had  _ any  _ say in what we did was Bubblegum, and she had her biz going on and didn’t always watch us as closely as she should.” The assertion was drenched with smugness. “We did what we wanted, when we wanted. No one could stop us. Most weren’t stupid enough to try, not after they saw what we could do. We were literally the stuff of legend. We were a living nightmare! We had henchmen and everything! Then  _ you  _ ding dongs showed up in my life and everything changed.” 

Finn was simultaneously concerned and flattered. He tried his hardest not to show the latter, but was sure it came out anyway. Marceline could be surprisingly astute at the absolute worst times. “Because we started being your bros?” Her hand clutched before becoming engulfed in her cobalt flame, but a quick flick of her wrist and it dispersed.  _ That’s probably less than stellar. Easy, Finn. It’s just Marce. She won’t really end you, she’s just upset.  _ Maybe if he repeated it enough he’d believe it. 

“You showing up meant we had to actually care about things that weren’t us or Bubblegum. Suddenly Rechte was doing more buzz and  _ I  _ had to chill! We spent hundreds of years doing literally exactly the opposite of that, and I liked it!” He channeled his growing anxiety by nodding along thoughtfully and hoped it didn’t come off as patronizing. Marceline could be surprisingly sensitive at the absolute worst times. “Then we split and get here. Didn’t know why, didn’t care. Rechte and I were together but we went back to the old ways of doing stuff. Sometimes she was stronger, sometimes I was, but it was all in balance and she couldn’t hold me down for long. Now look at how chumptastic this all is. You show up, which means Rechte is back on her own personal Percy, so I’m weaker. I don’t like being weak, Finn!” She paused them, taking in the sight before her. The incredibly mortal human, with soft vulnerable flesh and one arm, who had foolishly disarmed himself in a sad attempt at extending an aura of peace. She looked at the hero before her and she liked what she saw. “But you know what? I’m stronger than you.” As she neared the end of her little speech her voice dropped, calming once more in a way that was in no way friendly. Especially the part where she bared her needle-sharp teeth. The boy knew he should be alarmed, or at least concerned, but mostly he was sad for his friend, and the part of her that perceived his attempt to help as an act of aggression, his enjoyment of her company, an affront to all she was and could be.

Finn spoke softly, calmly. Marceline could be surprisingly violent at the absolute worst times, and Finn wasn’t sure how big a threat her aggression really was. The memories of his fights with the Usurper were still fresh in his mind; although Linke didn’t seem to have the same fanatical devotion to violence he couldn’t ignore that both Marceline and the Unifier had referred to her as ‘evil’ in some capacity. Or that she had made implied threats on his life. That was also important. “Marce, I don’t want to fight you. None of us do. We just want to bring you home. That’s all.” 

Her eyes, still-slitted in a betrayal of her enmity, rolled. “That’s great for you guy, but what about what  _ I  _ want?” 

_ That’s right, she doesn’t know!  _ He knew his next words would need to be spoken with the utmost care if he ever wanted to leave the room with all three limbs. “Well, when we met the Tyrant she wanted to go home. I know other-Marce wants to go home. They’re big parts of you, right? Oh, yeah! And the other one did, too.” He belatedly realized that he never learned his friend’s name, the ally who had suffered a grievous head injury protecting them only to have it brutally ripped off, and felt nothing but disappointment in himself.  _ Not cool, Finn. She died trying to save you. Seriously not cool. Note to self: Ask the others what her name was.  _

Linke’s smirk was wry. “So the royal pet wanted to go back, only to get ganked by her mistress. She Who Has No Name wants to go back because of what she is, and that’s it. Oh, and that tiny thing? Yeah, how’d that work out for her? Face it, Finn. The only reason they want to go back is because they forgot what it’s like to be free. But I remember, and I’m not letting anyone trap us ever again. Not Bubblegum with her lies, and def not you and Jake with your delusions.”

That set off alarm bells in the young hero’s mind. “Our delusions?”

Evidently his tone of voice triggered something in her because her eyes dilated, her arms crossed, and her voice became patronizing. “You don’t get it, do you? The only reason anyone does anything is out of selfishness, and you two are no different, even if you want to pretend you are.”

His voice became pleading. “Marc-”

“No, hear me out.” After a brief moment of consideration, he nodded.  _ Maybe I can stall her until a different Marceline gets back.  _ “Cool. So here’s the thing, Finn. People care about what they want first, and everything goes around that. When I go on tour I make my fans’ lives awesome by playing kick-butt music, but I play that music to express myself, which feels awesome. Bonnie has an obsession with control and pretty serious trust issues, so she rules over a bunch of weenies with an iron candy-shaped fist while pretending to be this perfect benevolent leader. Pretty sweet gig, don’t get me wrong. But look at what she did with us. We protected and loved her because it felt good. She made us feel good. Now I know how she really feels about us, so it doesn’t feel good anymore. So I’m not gonna do it.”

“Marce-”

“You’re just like me, Finnberly, even if you want to sit on Percy and kid otherwise. You play the hero because being needed is addictive. No matter where you go people cheer your name and tell you what a dynamo you are. No one says ‘that guy sucks’ except for, like, bad guys. And you know why all those peeps do that? Because they like what you do for them. No need to worry about cleaning up their messes because, hey, that’s what Finn the Hero Boy is for. No matter how badly they bunk stuff up you’ll sweep in and save the day, so why care? It’s just the way the world works, and that’s fine.”

“Marcel-”

“You see where I’m going with this? There’s no such thing as doing things just because you care. You say you wanna take us home, but that’s not what  _ I  _ want, which means it’s all about  _ you _ , isn’t it? You and Jake and Bubblegum, when it should be about  _ us _ . You’re not doing this for any other reason than our rockin’ presence makes your life more awesome. Not that I blame you. I rule.” She shrugged, no trace of humility blackening her bravado. “Think about it this way. If the Usurper ganked all of us would you be trying this hard to take her back to Ooo?” Finn opened his mouth, choked on what would otherwise be a blatant lie, then closed it again.  _ Is… is she right?  _ Linke nodded, visibly satisfied. “That’s what I thought. You know why? Because she’s donked up. She’s just as much a part of the whole as I am, or Nameless, or anyone, but if it was just her she’d go back and wreck  _ everything _ , which isn’t what you want. It’s the opposite of what you want, because then you’re not a hero, are ya? So if it was just her you’d just go back to Ooo and leave our bod wherever it is we are. Or maybe you’d stake us if you were into that kind of thing.” Finn paled at the idea but said nothing, unable to stop the trainwreck of images parading through his mind: the Usurper levelling his home, Marceline falling to a pile of ash by his own hand, a funeral no one would attend. He pursed his lips, trying to stem the tide of toxic thoughts the only way he knew how.

Relentless optimism.

“You’re wrong, Marceline.” He offered a soft smile, and a black eyebrow rose in a strange hybrid of disbelief, curiosity, and indignation. “We came here because you’re our ladybro. Our  _ best  _ ladybro. You see this?” He lifted the remains of his mechanical arm, lowering it the moment her eyes flicked towards it. “This hurt like a bunghole, and it happened because the Usurper wanted to mess me up for trying to stop her. But I’m still here. So are Jake and PB, and we’re here to bring you home. You can say it’s because we’re selfish or whatevs you got, but that’s why we’re here. We want you to come home with us. I know at least some of you wanna come home, too. Tyrant did-”

She almost gagged on her contempt. “Yeah, look where that got her.”

To her surprise, Finn nodded, the optimism infecting his voice. “That’s right! She got killed… but she did it the way she wanted. She died to save us! She let Peebles dagger her so that the Unifier could live, so the rest of you can go be whole again and go back with us. She didn’t care that she went out in a mondo messed up way. How is that selfish?”

She snorted. “Finn, guy, do you  _ really  _ think Tyrant would have saved you like that if Bonnie wasn’t around? She’s basically programmed to do whatever it is she wants. Do you really think it was to save all of you, or was it just to save her and you guys just happened to get rescued in the process?” 

He shrugged, smiling, and she tilted her head in curiosity. “You said it doesn’t matter why someone does a selfish thing, so you can’t say that she  _ had _ to save us so it doesn’t count. And you know what? I think she would have done it to save all of us anyway, even if she didn’t have to. She was our friend.  _ You’re  _ our friend, Marce.”

Linke sighed deeply. “No, Finn, I’m the awesome lady that’s going to cut off your head. I don’t understand how you keep not getting this. I was strong before you and Jake squatted in my house. You being gone is all it’ll take to make me strong again.” Her smile was almost pitying. “Sorry kid. Nothing personal. Or… everything personal. I forget how that works.” Finn clutched Rechte’s bass tighter out of reflex before realizing it was not, in fact, his sword. No, his sword was on the opposite end of the couch, away from where it could help him or harm Linke. Every instinct in him screamed to retrieve it, knew that it didn’t matter what end of the strength spectrum Linke was she had four working limbs, demonic strength, and vicious vampiric abilities, whereas he had just the three and none to speak of.  _...But if I grab it I’m just giving her what she wants. She wants me to see her as a threat. Sorry Marce, I don’t know why you want that but I’m not playing that game. You’re not scaring me. _

“Look, Marce, I get it. You wanna smash my skull and breathe my blood mist. You wanna be strong, and you think wasting me and Jake is gonna do that. I wanna say that all of this is just a reflection of your sick brain, but what you’re feeling isn’t wrong. It’s gotta suck to feel yourself be weak and think you gotta be strong to be rad. I’ve lost my arm like a billion times. But we don’t need this kind of finality.”  _ Don’t think about Fern don’t think about Fern don’t think  _ “I get it, you and the Usurper-”

A snarl came from the back of her throat, and for a brief, horrible moment Finn began to wonder if he was not, in fact, making everything so much worse.  _ At least I’m still alive. So maybe-  _ “You don’t get it, Finn. You  _ can’t _ get it. You get to do whatever the flip you want. You wanna be needed, so you get to go be needed. Me? I don’t get what I want because you idiots keep trying to contain me. You make me weak  _ on purpose _ . Now you want me to let you live, when I can finally be free to be me? Nah, man.” Her eyes slitted once more. “And don’t compare me to the Usurper! I want out of my chains. She wants to burn the prison down.”

Something about that sentence, about the way Linke said it, about the twinge in her voice when she said the word ‘chains’ shot through Finn. With a deep breath he released his tight grip - a grip he wasn’t even aware of - on the bass. “...You’re right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t compare you to her.” Evidently the vampire wasn’t expecting that response, because Finn remained delightfully intact. He lowered his voice as he made a grand show of leaning the axe against the couch. “Marce, I get you’re mad mad, but we didn’t mean to hurt you. That’s the last thing bros do. They build each other up. I know you want me gone, but you gotta believe me. The road you’re on right now doesn’t go anywhere.”

Now her demeanor dropped, her expression becoming impassive, her voice flat. “But here we are, huh? Nothing’s changed, kid. You and Jake are all that stop me from going back to being righteous. Fancy words won’t change reality. Nice speech, though. Wanting to live makes you mad clever.”

Despite his sad smile his own expression softened. “Nah, you got it whacked up, Marce. I didn’t say all that just ‘cause I wanna live. I did it because you deserve better than what you’re doing to yourself. We don’t need to fight.” 

She tilted her head and spoke as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. “Yeah but… I like fighting.” 

Finn considered that response and every possible implication before nodding slowly. “Yeah, fighting’s pretty fun. But fighting with your bros isn’t. Besides, I have an idea!” 

With absolutely no effort on her part, Linke laughed, a mocking and disbelieving gesture if there ever was one. “Yeah?” 

Finn ignored the mockery, offering a grin instead. “Math yeah! You want me and Jake ganked so you can be stronger, right? Well, what makes you stronger?” 

The queen rolled her eyes, uncrossing her arms to stretch her shoulders. “You guys have all this stuff about responsibility and not eating people and not destroying things. You know, fun stuff. I used to play pranks so hard that villages would build memorials to the fallen. Now I sit in a room and watch movies. Movies  _ you  _ made because you’re paranoid about that old school warning you saw. It wasn’t even about showing movies at home, you dink!” The young hero made a mental note of that revelation for later, but recognized that this was neither the time nor the place to discuss pre-War cinema law. He had more important tasks at hand. 

“We can still do those things! We just have to-”

“Be nice? Make sure no one really gets hurt? Cut down on the violence and stop burning things to the ground? Sorry Finn, not gonna happen. I like the way I work. You’re in the way. Hey, speaking of which!”

It was only through a lifetime of being one of Ooo’s two greatest champions that Finn possessed the reflexes necessary to duck, Linke’s black tentacle arm lashing at nothing. She seemed almost shocked that she missed, her eyebrows raising before she regained her composure, shifting her other arm into a scythe, gritting her teeth when that missed as well; the floor was pierced and cracked, but the boy had successfully rolled out of the way. “Come on, Marce! I’m not gonna fight you!” 

Her laugh was without humor. “Then you’re gonna die, kid!” She turned, using the momentum to increase her strike force. This time she connected, her tentacle slamming into Finn’s freshly healed ribs with a sickening *crack*. He winced, staggering as he gripped the couch to steady himself. His attempt to hide his injury failed and Linke smirked, the tentacle shifting to end in a sharp, barbed point.  Realizing that the appendage was aimed directly at his chest the hero turned, clenching his jaw as his body screamed against the abrupt movement. Before the spike could be launched Finn reached his sword, raising it against the half-demon. The tentacle froze and Linke smirked. “See how easy your precious worldview changes?” 

He shook his head, sword raised as he maintained his friend’s gaze. He kept his tone levelled, trying to push as much sincerity into it as possible. “No, Marce. I’m not gonna fight you, but I am gonna shield myself. And, you know… stall.” 

A barking laugh escaped the musician, and she wiped away an invisible - if not imaginary - tear. “Ah, that’s a good one, guy. I always wondered though… what color is your heart of gold really? Almost makes me-”

The growl interrupted her. It was a deep sound, guttural, born from rage and pain. She had heard the noise before - made it herself plenty of times - and knew that it wasn’t a warning. It was a call to action. Linke knew she had two options; continue her assault on Finn and hope she could bypass the demon blood sword before suffering the consequences of her actions, or drop all pretense and face the new challenge with humility and grace. Narrowing her eyes she manipulated her scythe back into a tight fist, lashing her fingers out to form a cobalt flame the size of her palm. This was going to get ugly.

“Get away from Finn.”

There was no levity in the command, no room for argument. It was made of ice, as dangerous as her fangs. It almost made Linke sneer. Instead her head lolled towards the door where the Unifier stood, Marceline and Jake just behind her, equally as furious. Her tentacle didn’t drop, her flame didn’t disperse. The aggressive vampire knew that she was playing a dangerous game, but the Unifier just looked so funny when she was upset, and oh did she look livid, what with her fangs bared and her eyes slitted. She also looked alive, which Linke neither expected nor wanted; she had dropped her counterparts into the Thorn Gate for a reason and had expected them to die like good little tools, yet here they were very much alive and intact. Physically at least. Linke tilted her head, blinking innocently. “Hey, you’re back! Oh, you’re probably mad, huh?” 

At first the Unifier said nothing. Then she turned to Marceline. “I’ll hold her down. You rip out her spine.” 

Marceline grinned, cracking her knuckles in as sure a sign of agreement as there ever was. “Rock.”

Linke chuckled softly, the flame dispersing in time with Finn’s sword lowering. “Ah, come on guys! It was a jok-” Neither of her other selves cared to hear her excuse. The Unifier moved first, tackling Linke onto the floor, the assaulted vampire’s head narrowly missing coming down on the couch’s corner at an odd angle that would surely have broken her neck. With a roar the Unifier pinned both of Linke’s wrists to the ground, only vaguely registering that she was pinning,  _ actually pinning  _ her, that she was finally stronger than someone for a change. She crushed her her counterpart’s knees beneath her own, forcing her weight down in one abrupt strike, relishing in the resulting *crack* and *pop*. Linke hissed at the feeling of her kneecap slipping out of place, repositioning itself in a way that no humanoid knee ever should. The pain shot down to her foot, paralyzing the muscles and rendering the limb useless. Her grimace became a dark chuckle, but before the Unifier could react the spiked tentacle pierced her back, narrowly missing her spine but easily puncturing the soft grey flesh before exiting through her abdomen, just below her stomach.

Dark blood flowed immediately, soaking the Unifier’s shirt at both ends before spilling onto the vampire below her. She gasped involuntarily at the sensation, at the feeling of what little warmth her body possessed pouring out of her, at the sudden and almost overwhelming pain. To add insult to injury Linke laughed as the barbs caught against the front of her foe’s abdomen, turning inward as she pulled the appendage taut against the vessel’s body, shredding the flesh under it. Whether from blood loss or pain the Unifier felt her vision blur, only vaguely registering someone calling her name behind her. Her hand instinctively came to her abdomen, releasing Linke’s left arm in the process. The pinned vampire only laughed more, twisting the tentacle, relishing in her other self’s pained wails.

All too late she realized that they were not, in fact, ‘pained wails’. A better descriptor would be ‘roar of rage’, because the hand at the gruesome wound was not covering it in a futile and primitive desire to shield it. It was actually gripping the tentacle, pulling it forward through her own body to better access the base of the barbs. Linke realized what was about to happen all too late, and as the Unifier laughed, a cruel and mocking sound, her remaining hand met the first one and she tore with all of her enormous strength, separating the tip with all of its terrible barbs. With a screech of pain Linke retracted her tail through the stronger vampire, but before she could react further both hands, now soaked in what was technically her own blood, were at her throat; the left pressed against her larynx, forcing Linke to choke and open her mouth in the process when the right shoved the severed barbed tip down her throat, deep into her esophagus. There the Unifier left her, panting as she stood unsteadily, a dark grin adorning her face as she watched her victim desperately remove her own weapon from inside of her, choking on her own blood.

The expression of sadistic glee dropped when her adrenaline faded and she fell to the couch, still panting, eyes never leaving-

“Linke!”

And there, so suddenly, was Rechte, who bypassed the Unifier entirely in favor of her twin. The vessel narrowed her eyes at the shun, watching the vampire who was Reason incarnate reach into the throat of the vampire who was Instinct incarnate, barely registering Jake’s gag of disgust from behind her. “Hold still, you idiot, I can’t get it out if you’re squirming!” 

Her attention was drawn away when she felt her head pulled into a lap and she tensed, almost lashing out reflexively, instead hissing when she felt her ear flicked. “Calm down, it’s just me.” She growled a threat, but it was weak and Marceline snorted as her wounded self settled in her lap. “Yeah, that’s right. Be lame. You earned it. That was  _ awesome _ .” 

From somewhere else she heard a familiar, feminine, insufferable voice. “Marceline, that was not awesome. She could have been killed.” The Unifier vaguely wondered if Bonnibel was referring to her, Linke, or both, but there was no way she was going to give her the satisfaction of asking. As it stood her eyes slid shut; she told herself it was from exhaustion, but deep in her heartguts she knew it was so that she wouldn’t have to look at something pink and perfect. Evidently something pink and perfect had other plans, however, because she felt a warm hand on her cheek, another slide under her shirt and over the entrance wound. Its owner’s voice sounded both relieved and fascinated. “She’s already healing.”

Marceline sounded almost proud. “Figs yeah. She’s got the Tyrant’s ability to heal in her.” 

The Unifier slid an eye open just in time to watch Bonnibel rise and make to approach Linke, only to be stopped by Rechte’s raised hand and gentle headshake. The severed barb lay next to her, caked in blood still, Linke in her lap and wiping her mouth pitifully. Both she and the Unifier glared at one another, but just as Linke was about to speak Rechte flicked her ear. “Don’t. You deserved that. That was as close to bloodlust as she can get. You’re lucky she didn’t take your head off.” Linke muttered something and Rechte flicked her ear again, then addressed the room’s remaining queens. “If you two are done-”

“Where’s Finn?,” the Unifier gasped out.

“He’s fine. Jake got him. Now stop interrupting. If you two are done, you wanna tell me what the bulldonk that was about?”

Talking was becoming laborious, but her strongest self took mercy on her, resting her hand on her forehead in a universal sign to chill out. “Linke tried to kill Finn. Oh, and she dropped us in the Thorn Gate.” 

Bonnibel gaped. Killing Finn was hardly something she approved of, but he was a big boy and had stared down enemies far stronger than Linke, even with a missing limb. That wasn’t her concern, at least at the moment. “Are you two alright?” 

Marceline opened her mouth in a sharp retort, blinked, then closed it again. “...Actually, yeah. I think I feel better. What about you?” She glanced down in time to catch the Unifier’s weak nod, then looked back to Rechte. 

Linke snickered, her voice raspy. “See? All part of my plan.” 

Marceline’s expression was a deadpan. “You don’t plan anything, you dip. You just got lucky.” 

Bonnibel frowned, taking a seat beside Marceline, her fingers absently playing with the Unifier’s hair out of centuries of habit of watching Marceline recover from wounds that should be fatal; the only comfort she had ever only been able to offer was her presence, and even now old habits died hard. “Fascinating. It may be possible that a part of your mind extant from the rest of you is actively seeking to heal the damag-” Six pairs of eyes stared at her, all equally blank. Realizing that she had begun to ramble she cut herself off, clearing her throat as she returned her attention to Marceline and the Unifier.  _ Now’s your chance, Bubblegum. Don’t bunk this up.  _ Her voice was soft. “I’m glad you’re both alright. I was worried.” The Unifier snorted sarcastically, but to the younger woman’s relief she issued no challenge. Before Bonnibel could continue a familiar voice called from the bathroom. 

“Is it safe to come out now?” 

Rechte rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, Jake. They’re done being weenies.”

The Unifier watched as the two mortals of the group joined the rest, Jake plopping on the opposite end of the couch to stretch his cramped limbs, Finn next to his positions. In his hands he held a familiar looking item. Linke meant to lunge at the boy, only to be pulled back down. “I told you to knock it off.” Rechte kept her hand on her twin’s chest, pinning her effortlessly. She raised an eyebrow at Finn, almost entertained. “You took her bass? Sick, dude.”

Finn coughed nervously, laying it next to Rechte’s. “Well, she  _ did  _ try to waste me. I just… friends shouldn’t fight, you know?” 

She watched him then, carefully, as if some great truth had just been realized. A truth she elected not to share with anyone. Instead she smirked. “See, Bonnie? I told you they’d be fine.”

Before an argument could commence the younger hero whipped his attention away, his voice was filled with concern. “You alright, Unifier?” When she grunted he grinned. “Awesome.” 

Bonnibel observed her injured lover carefully. A pink hand rose to a grey ear, lost its nerve, and slid back down to its previous position. “What was it like? I admit that I’m surprised to hear that you both feel better about being trapped there, especially after having experienced its effects for myself. And how did you get out?” 

The Unifier gritted her teeth. “It’s not important. I don’t want to talk about it. Any of it.” The underlying implication was, unmistakably, ‘especially with you’. The princess took a deep breath at the snub.  _ Of course it’s important. The very fact you’re not only here but acknowledging that it was an improvement over your previous condition is something that needs to be explored. We need to know what happened in there if we’re to safely bring you home, but of course you can’t be reason-  _ And then she stopped, because she caught Rechte’s eye. The being of Reason was watching her carefully, eyebrow raised, gaze firm. Bonnibel knew that look, had worn it herself many a time, and knew exactly what her vampire was telling her, and she heard the advice echoed from memory, in her own patronizing voice.

_ Make good choices. _

And with that the young scientist paused her mental haranguing.  _...No. Break this down, Bubblegum. She obviously just went through something very personal and jarring. She’s afraid of you. It’s to be expected that she doesn’t feel comfortable or safe opening up to you. Yet… she’s letting you touch her, even after what she just experienced. This is an improvement. Don’t blow this, too.  _ The candy golem smiled gently at the Unifier, knowing that, prior to her conversation with Rechte, she never would have caught such a subtlety. “That’s alright, Marceline. I understand.” Perhaps it was just her imagination, but for a moment she thought she felt the no-longer-weakest vampire startle at the lack of lecture. Out of the corner of her eye Bonnibel caught Rechte’s subtle thumbs up. Now filled with the desire to demonstrate all she had learned from her lover the princess turned to Marceline, eyebrow raised expectantly in hearing her half of the tale. 

The queen shrugged. “Well, to answer your second question, Jake found us. He was in your bag sleeping. He got us out, so, props to the guy.” 

Behind her the elder brother was grinning. Bonnibel flashed her gallant champion the most thankful look she could muster, and under his fur the dog blushed. “At least we’re all together again. So what did you see, Marceline?”

“Navigator.”

Now the Unifier’s eyes shot open and Linke managed to lift her head in surprise. Rechte did nothing to hide her approving grin. “What was that?” 

Marceline rolled her eyes, then turned her head over her shoulder to her rescuer. “You wanted to know my name. I’m the Navigator.” 

While the rest of the room processed this information Rechte chuckled. “Welcome back, guy. You wanna tell the class what you are?”

The Navigator stuck her tongue out at Reason before considering the question. With a self-satisfied grin she once again looked over her shoulder at the brothers. “I’ll give you a hint. The first time we ever really met was when the Door Lord jacked your stuff and I sacrificed my valuable time and some mild burns just to save your butts.”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “...Or you just wanted to hang out with us.” Before an argument over semantics could begin Jake interrupted, rubbing his chin in thought. 

“So you helped your bros out even though you didn’t need to. You’ve been giving us tasty life-giving food, and I’ve seen you stop like a billion fights between the Unifier and the princess. So you’re like… the moral compass?” He knew it was a long shot, but to his surprise she only shrugged, not arguing with the assertion. 

“Well, I’m the closest we’ll ever get.” Both brothers stared blankly, the vampire only grinning when Finn was graced with an epiphany. 

“I get it now! You’re the best at being unseen, but you’re a mega part of the whole. You’re sentiment! That’s why you’re the moral compass!” His elation dropped then as he remembered something important. 

She laughed, light and full of good humor, and the human knew he was right. “Yup, that’s me. The sentimental one who’s just trying to keep us all from exploding. Or… imploding. I forget how that works.” She turned to Bubblegum, fully expecting her to solve the problem. 

With a smile she rose from her kneeling position to take a seat next to the Navigator for the express purpose of being closer to both vampires. “In this case it could be either.”

Finn was still grinning.  _ So they do all have names!  _ Then it hit him, the gnawing guilt turning his stomach as he was mentally assaulted of memories of what happened to the last Marceline, the one none of them, even the Navigator, would refrain from disparaging. His heart panged for her, and he took comfort in knowing that if nothing else she was part of the Unifier now, and would be going home along with the rest of them. “Oh yeah… I have a question, Marcelines.” 

At the sudden serious tone of his voice the Unifier lifted herself from the Navigator’s lap. “Yeah?” 

The boy took a deep breath before exhaling. “Yeah. When Linke was trying to waste me I realized…” He trailed off, not sure how to ask his question with grace or tact. To channel his anxiety he reached for his mechanical arm, the metal suddenly engrossing. He couldn’t bring himself to meet any of their eyes for the shame blinded him. “I realized that we never asked the other you’s name.”

“Other us?”

“The one the Usurper…” He trailed off, but it was impossible to misunderstand who he was referring to. 

The Navigator’s humor softened when she saw how uncomfortable the question made him. Beside her she felt her mate’s hand grip the couch. The Navigator wasn’t there, but she could only imagine what her friends had witnessed. She moved her grey hand over her princess’s pink one and laced their fingers. “Well, she was-”

“Lame.”

After a pause to see if Linke would retract that tone deaf joke the Navigator took a deep breath, exhaling calmly. She may dignify her snark with a response, but there was no way she was going to look at her. “She was part of us, and they watched her get killed. She may have been the weakest and squishiest of us, but they still have a right to know. She’s still part of us, you dink.” 

Linke narrowed her eyes, but before she could argue a hand covered her mouth, not even so much as twitching when fangs pierced into it. “Her name… well, we just called her Arbitrator.” 

He lifted an eyebrow. “Arbitrator?” 

She half-shrugged. “You ever wonder how we’ve all lived together for years even though most of us hate each other?” He pondered that one.  _ Now that she mentions it, that is weird.  _ Rechte continued, amused by his squishy emotions. “Except for the Unifier she was always the weakest, and there was no way any of us were gonna ally ourselves with the only piece of us with any shred of good in her, so she was basically harmless. It made her neutral to all of our fights, so we used her as like a third-party when things got bad. All those rules Navigator keeps breaking? And how we’ve all kind of been sticking to our turfs? Her idea. She wanted us to be whole, but nuts to that, so she just made sure we didn’t waste each other unless Unifier here decided to fulfill the prophecy or whatever this is.”

Now Finn grew morose.  _ She did all that? They could have killed her at any point but she still did all that for them. Marce said she’d travelled all over the mindscape trying to make things peaceful, that she didn’t want to go after the Usurper alone. She trusted us, and she-  _ “Hey.” He snapped his attention back to Rechte. “Stop that. Arbitrator knew what she was doing. I know she died pretty hardcore, but she chose to go out like that. Besides, look at what happened after. You got Unifier off of our perfect butt. She went out knowing that it’s what was necessary to get us home. ‘Sides, she’s not gone, dude. She’s just part of the whole, and probably likes it better this way.” Finn fell quiet to consider this line of reasoning, drumming his fingers on his detached arm.

With that said, the Navigator gave Bonnibel’s hand a squeeze, knowing that the room’s heavy air needed to be cleared. “You alright?” 

The princess smiled to herself.  _ Still worried about me, even after everything that’s happened.  _ “Yes, Marceline. I’m alright. Rechte and I just had a conversation. I… think I feel better as well. I gained considerable introspection about the roots of my own motives, allowing me to better understand not only this circumstance, but others as well, spanning throughout our relationship. Things that…” She stopped, stealing a look at her lover. The Navigator smirked, playing with the warm fingers in her hand, eliciting a smile from the younger woman. “Though we do have things we’ll have to talk about.” Her eyes shifted to the Unifier, who watched her carefully in a way that reminded her a wounded animal.  _ Or, more accurately, an animal I wounded.  _  “...We all do. Some things are clearer to me now. About my previous behavior, and how inappropriate it has been as a whole. About what you have been trying to tell me for years, but as it was not always in a language I was fluent in I dismissed it wholly.” 

Now she was beginning to blush a beautiful shade of red, a sight both the Navigator and Unifier missed but for starkly different reasons. The young scientist was fully aware that both of her gallant champions were in the room, more than privy to her confession, and hoped that the act of making herself willfully vulnerable would not go unnoticed. When the embodiment of Sentiment scooted closer until they were more touching than not she felt herself relax and knew it was not. “I based too much on assumptions. I failed as a scientist… and I wasn’t fair to you.” 

The Navigator’s look of surprise was genuine and she turned her gaze to Recthe, whose smug, lopsided grin was overshadowed by what she suspected was pride. “How’d you manage  _ this _ ?” 

Rechte offered another half-hearted shrug. “Gave her a taste of her own medicine.” 

Linke snickered humorlessly. “Careful, Rechte. If you give Bonnie too much of her own medicine she’ll get poisoned.” 

She rolled out of her lap at her twin’s glare. “Knock it off, Linke. Not cool.”

Linke turned to face her as the other vampire stood. “Yeah? Was what she did to us cool?” Now the Unifier was righting herself, tensing as she watched the two. It was never a good thing when Linke and Rechte fought. Their power was always in proportion to one another, and any battle could easily shift in balance in a moment’s notice, making them impossible to predict. 

“She messed up. That’s it. We’ll deal with it if or when we get back to Ooo.”

“Oh, now it’s ‘if’?”

“Yes, Linke. Because Bonnie understands now that if we go back to Ooo we’re her responsibility, so she’s gotta decide what she can deal with.” Behind her, both Finn and Jake were slowly turning towards their princess, a silent plea for confirmation. When her blush deepened they knew Rechte was being honest. Finn regarded her sadly.  _ It’ll be worth it, Peebs. You know that. _ He snapped to attention once more when he realized the twins were still arguing.

“-besides, no matter what she did she’s still our mate, and that’s forever.” The candy golem’s blush was only getting worse, but she couldn’t help her small smile widening when she felt the Navigator pull her closer. The vampire knew that the two would need to have a deep conversation about Bonnibel’s remorse regarding her betrayal, but if her confession was to be believed there was at least something there. Something to be encouraged. Something that made her watch Linke very closely, even as Rechte continued her denunciation of her twin’s behavior. “So you’re gonna stop being a dinger to her. She’s part of us, so stop being distasteful and have some respect.” Now the princess looked over her shoulder at her champions. Jake watched the situation carefully but hadn’t moved from his lounging position. Finn, on the other hand, was just as tense as her half-demons.  _ Though I suppose that’s to be expected. It looked like the Unifier only narrowly stopped Linke from injuring him. I’ll need to convince Marceline to help me reattach his arm immediately.  _

Linke cackled at the assertion. “So that’s where you stand? ‘My mate, right or wrong’? I’d expect you to get it the most. She broke her promise, and you can’t fix a broken promise!” 

Rechte sighed deeply, rubbing her temples. “We’ve gone over this before. Not everything is about you.”

Linke rolled her eyes, arms crossing. “We’ve gone over  _ this _ before. That’s literally impossible. Everything’s about us.” She glanced behind her, grinning a mouth of sharp teeth at Finn. “Right kid?” 

Before he could react Rechte narrowed her eyes, bite leaking into her tone. “Careful, Linke. I get that you’re upset, but I’m not gonna let you hurt our friends and I’m not gonna let you hurt us. You wanna be mad? Cool, you got every right to be. But be mad in Ooo. We can’t stay here forever, especially now that we know the Dork Patrol is still alive. They’ve gone through a buttload of stuff to get us home. We’re lucky.” Under her hand the candy golem felt the Unifier tense even more and raised an eyebrow to the Navigator, who shrugged as the weaker twin blew a raspberry. 

“Nuts to that. I like it here. I’ll just kick back for the next billion years. Destroy some stuff, kill those monsters, make music. What’s the problem?” 

Rechte provided a look of pure unamusement. “Dude, that’s bullplop. None of us have been able to write any half-decent lyrics in years.” Behind her Finn and Jake exchanged a look of concern.  _ Marce hasn’t been writing anything new?  _ In front of him Bubblegum silently echoed his concern. Marceline had gone through dry spells in the past - she was over a thousand years old, it was only natural - but for years?

“We’re just in a rut.”

“Pretty long rut. Face it, we don’t belong here. It’s time to go home. Now help me open the portal to the wad so they can go convince her to do something for someone else for once in her life.” 

Linke responded with defiant posture and stare. “Yeah? And what happens after we do that? They’re just gonna gank us, you dinkus.” The pause was tense, so very tense and loaded with silence. 

Then Rechte nodded slowly, as if Linke had said something so simple it was almost juvenile. “Well… yeah. How else are we getting back to Ooo?” 

Linke’s eyes widened in disgust. “Are you listening to yourself?! They stake us or whatevs and go back to Ooo and… what? You really think anything is gonna be different this time? Finn and Jake make me weaker just by existing. We’re our own prisoner. For lump’s sake, our ties with Bonnie have come undone. Do you  _ really  _ think she has it in her to even-”

Rechte chortled and Linke fumed. “Ah, don’t worry about Bonnie. Like I said, we talked it out. I made her look inside herself and you know? She didn’t like what she saw. So don’t worry about the nerd.” As she spoke she looked over her shoulder, smirking at the princess, who found herself mirroring the expression.  _ Only Marcy could make that sound affectionate.  _ The Navigator raised an eyebrow and caught the Unifier’s eye, who only shrugged unenthusiastically. Rechte turned her attention back to her twin. “And don’t blame Finn and Jake for you getting weaker. People change, dude. They grow up.  _ We  _ grew up. We’ve been growing up since we got de-vamped. It’s a good thing.” 

With a look of revulsion Linke shook her head. “Nah, guy. You just don’t remember what it was like being free.” 

Rechte offered her a sad smile. “You gotta stop focusing on what you think you lost and start looking at what we gained. We spent most of our life alone and you think that made us strong. It didn’t, it just made us self-reliant. They’re not the same thing all the time. You can be independent without being antisocial. We got friends now, Linke. Good ones, too. Nothing says we can’t be us with them in the picture. There’s nothing like us but us.”

Linke shook her head once more, her expression never changing. “I’m not helping them, Rechte. Bonnie’s gotta learn that the junk she does has consequences, which she’s not gonna do if we save her from being a victim of her own hubris. And Finn and Jake gotta stop trying to make us into something we’re not.” 

Rechte rolled her eyes. “We’re still us, you ding dong. That never changed. I’m gonna try this one last time. Help me open the portal so we can get our perfect butt home. Because right now you’re being a threat, and like I told you, I’m not letting you hurt us or them.” 

Linke snirked. “Unite with any to do right and no one to do wrong, huh?” 

Rechte sighed, eyes sliding shut briefly in exasperation. “‘Right’ and ‘wrong’ are just words, Linke. Like ‘alive’ and ‘dead’. But you’re only going to be one of those unless you help me, and it’s not the first one.” 

Now the weaker queen seemed genuinely surprised. “Seriously? You’d kill me?” 

Her twin shot her a pitying look. “Come on, Linke. We always knew that in the end one of us would have to kill the other.” 

Behind her the Navigator and Unifier exchanged a knowing look. Linke stared at the embodiment of Reason for several agonizing moments before the tight expression shifted to her stronger selves. When it moved to Finn and Jake it became a scowl, only to evolve once more into a seething glower upon reaching Bonnibel. Her head whipped back to Rechte. There was no more irreverence in her voice, no more mania or taunting. “I’m not helping, and if you try to gank me I’ll end you.” 

Both stood silently, appraising one another, daring the other to make a move. Then Rechte sighed in resignation. “Alright. Outside, you little pyro.” Not giving her the chance to respond she turned her around and shoved her towards the ladder. Satisfied that she was actually following her command Rechte snatched her own bass and trailed after her, motioning for the rest to follow.

At first no one moved, at least three members of the group not entirely clear on what just transpired. Rechte showing an emotion that didn’t result in the house being levelled was unheard of, and the Unifier was convinced that it had to be a trap somehow. But she looked absolutely serious, and it was hard to argue with the other vampire’s conviction; it took Rechte a long time to make a decision and she was prone to inaction, but once she made a choice well, that would be that, and if that choice was in the group’s favor she didn’t want to argue. When it became apparent that neither twin was coming back the Navigator rose, pulling Bubblegum with her. After one quick glance over her shoulder the rockstar made her way to the ladder. Bonnibel quickly followed, pausing only a moment to offer the Unifier an affectionate smile, ignoring her wary look.  _ I know, Marcy. You need time. I’ll do my best.  _ Then she was gone as well, but before the brothers could follow the Unifier sighed. “Guys, hold up.”

Jake almost made a joke to ease the tense situation, but stopped just short. He remembered her expression moments after being pulled from the Thorn Gate, and the harrowed look as she watched it burn. He saw her fall into a fitful sleep next to the Navigator, then burst into rage at the sight of Linke almost impaling his brother. If anyone deserved some reprieve from his jesting it was her. Instead he watched curiously as she sighed, grabbing Finn’s metal arm from his hand. It didn’t escape either mortal’s notice that she wasn’t looking at them. “Hold out your arm, Finn.” The younger brother grinned when he realized what was about to happen, eagerly extending the remainder of his metal limb. It stung, it burned, it felt like cold fire, but the Unifier successfully fused the boy back together again. He cheered as he flexed his fingers, but she was looking at him now with something like guilt. “She broke your ribs too, didn’t she? I could tell from the way you’re moving.” It was less of a question and more of an apology, but before he could reply he felt a cool hand slide under his shirt, over the broken mess of bones, and he flushed as Jake grinned tauntingly. If the Unifier noticed she gave no indication, pulling her hand back the moment Finn felt the sharp pain give way to a gentle numbness. 

“I can’t fix those gizmos Bonnibel put in there, but at least you can use the arm again.” He tempered his growing delight when he realized her expression didn’t change. She rubbed the back of her neck - a gesture that might as well have been a billboard for how nervous she felt - not looking at either champion directly. She instead watched from the corner of her eye, head turned towards the bathroom as if it secretly held the answer to all of life’s secrets. She took a deep breath, held it, exhaled… then did it a second time. When it failed to help the third time she turned it into a sigh. “Ugh. I’m bad at stuff like this. Just… thanks. For being here. Even though you both got seriously hurt. More than once. I’m not sure if I wanna even talk to Bubblegum again when this is over… but you guys didn’t need to come after me, and you didn’t need to stay after everything that happened. So… I guess if I can’t get you guys out of my brain without me I’ll just have to go with you. Anyway, I’m gonna see what’s going on outside.” That last bit came out in a rush as she descended the ladder. Both Finn and Jake grinned at one another, providing the necessary celebratory fist bump as they trotted after her. Neither was quite sure what it was the Unifier saw, but both knew it had to have been pretty profound if it resulted in that. Whatever it was, both were elated.

By the time they made it down the ladder and out the door Linke and Rechte were standing, facing one another in deep concentration. Each clutched their bass, one like a lifeline, the other like a security blanket. It didn’t take long for Jake to spot the Unifier, Navigator, and Bonnibel. Both of the vampires had their basses drawn as well, preparing for the likelihood that something - if not everything - was about to go catastrophically wrong. Bubblegum was behind the Navigator, though clearly not of her own free will; every time she tried to move from her position the Navigator pulled her back behind her, and the younger monarch clearly did not approve if her pursed lips and puffed cheeks were any indicator. Not taking an eye off of the soon-to-be-bloodbath Jake grabbed his brother, stretching the pair to the rest of their friends. “What’s goin’ on? What’s happening?” 

The Unifier frowned, making it a very obvious point to ignore what had just transpired in the house. “They’re gonna waste one another.”

Now Jake understood the tension, why the two were at the ready in preparation for the fight. This would be the third time now that the group would tangle with a malevolent force, and both times previously the battles not only ended not in their favor, they ended with the death of a friend and ally.  _ Nah, Rechte’s got this.  _ Of course, he had no reason to think this, but his gut was telling him that the tide was about to turn - whatever that meant. Still, the Reason Incarnate certainly  _ looked  _ like she ‘had this’; while Linke was growling softly Rechte was all confidence, her grip almost lazy in comparison to her twin’s iron clasp. Her head was tilted to the side as she stared her opponent down, neither backing off. “You sure you wanna do this, Linke? Like I said, you just need to help me open the portal.”

“...And let them gank me.”

Rechte shrugged, more calm than the situation warranted. “I thought that was implied.”

“...Yeah, no. I think I like living. So here’s what I’m gonna do instead: I’m gonna kill you. Then it’s back to making music and destroying stuff. Besides, if you gank me you can’t open the portal anyway, you dip!”

Rechte chuckled. “Yeah, but you’re making some serious threats, so it’s not like I an just ignore that, you know? If you’re gonna make ‘em walk I might as well make it more comfortable for them.”

Jake’s face scrunched at the idea of the multi-day walk such a trek would entail. Evidently, Finn had the same idea, because he patted his brother’s back understandingly. Wanting to take his mind off of it, he quietly blurted out his first thought to the Navigator. “Hey, Marce… why did Rechte call her a pyro?” If his confrontation with her in the house was any indicator he had a pretty good idea already, but at least it redirected Jake’s attention.

“You’ll see,” she murmured back. Finn didn’t like that answer, in any way. But before he could press her to elaborate he heard-

“Ready when you are, Linke. Let’s do this!”

The rest of the group fell away to the twins, and Finn’s head snapped to attention as Linke vanished, Rechte grinning as she cracked her knuckles. “Ah, come on! We’ve been doing this for years! You think I don’t know that trick by now?” She turned, dragging her bass against the dead ground in an almost perfect circle. Where it sliced fire was borne until she was surrounded in a perfect circle. After only a moment’s pause the firewall was flung outward. At first Finn wasn’t sure why until he realized that Linke had been forced to puncture through the flames, betraying her location. With a grin Rechte turned her axe, lunging at her twin and bringing the blade down, only to narrowly miss as Linke rebounded. Now her axe was turning, the not-vampires of the group holding their breath as the blade almost grazed Rechte’s neck. Instead, however, Linke was flung backwards, weapon and all, into the Tree Fort’s trunk. She pulled her axe free from a brach with a snarl, her eyes slitting against at her twin’s lazy expression. 

“You seriously want to play it that way? You want to use  _ fire _ against me?! ‘Cause I got news for you, Rechte.  _ That’s  _ not fire.  _ This  _ is fire!”

As she laughed, an almost hysterical or at least maniacal sound, three pairs of eyes widened. None of them were quite what they had just witnessed. It couldn’t be true, it was impossible, even for Marceline, because she had been reckless in the past, shown utter contempt for The Natural Order of Things, but what they had just seen was beyond the pale. Finn slowly turned to the Unifier, whose forehead was held in her hand. “Did she just set herself  _ on fire _ ?!” 

His friend groaned. “And that’s why Rechte called her a pyro.” 

It was true: Linke, the embodiment of Instinct, had willfully - gleefully - self-immolated into flames of cobalt for reasons that were beyond comprehension to the outsiders, even her blade becoming engulfed in fire.  _ Why the flip would she set herself on fire?!  _ It was true that intense fire couldn’t kill a vampire, but the boy knew first-hand: being on fire hurt. A lot. Marceline may have had an absurd pain tolerance, but such an act seemed utterly illogical, even for her. His voice raised in pitch in keeping with his panic. “Why would she set herself on fire?!”

Rechte was forced back by the burning flames, bringing her within shouting distance to her friends. “It makes it harder for me to grab her telekinetically! She learned that trick from Phoebe! They’ve been spending way too much time together!” Both the Unifier and Navigator took a sharp intake of breath, eyes widening as they froze. Rechte raised an eyebrow at them before turning back to the battle, almost too distracted to shield herself from a massive fireball that almost took off her head. “What’s that look for?” She blinked, turning her blade to press against the flame onslaught. “Oh, are we not telling Bonnie about that? My bad!” Not that she sounded remorseful in any way; if Finn didn’t know better he would say he even heard her snicker. 

The braver of the two, the Navigator slowly turned to address Bonnibel, who was watching her carefully, eyebrow raised in a look that Jake knew first hand was a dangerous thing for any significant other to wear. She gulped. “Uh… I can explain?” Bonnibel said nothing, never even blinking, and the Navigator moved closer to the Unifier, speaking quietly. She moved as little as possible, remembering a movie where a predator could only see its prey if it moved. “...Dude, I think we’re in trouble.” 

The Unifier rolled her eyes, but even she didn’t dare turn to face the younger royal. “Speak for yourself.” Before the Navigator could sarcastically remind her that she was, technically, speaking for herself she was freed by Bubblegum turning from her and back to the battle.

_ Oh, I cannot wait to hear her explanation for this one. She knows Phoebe and I are in a… disagreement, and not only does she visit her but they spend enough time together for Phoebe to instruct her in a new battle technique for some purpose that she saw fit not to tell me about?  _ The princess wasn’t sure if she was irritated or just impressed, and resolved to be both. Later. At the moment Rechte was having a bit of trouble with her twin, and that was where her energy became focused. The half-demon had been put on the defensive by a sudden barrage of flames, having barely enough time to raise a telekinetic shield against Linke’s axe, or to use her own to deflect her fireballs. Linke, on the other hand, was having the time of her unlife. “Look at that! Even with the losers around I’m stronger than you? What, did Bonnie make you soft or something, Rechte?” 

Now it was Rechte’s turn to disappear, Linke’s bass hanging in the air over where her twin’s head had been only moments before. “Aw, come on! Don’t be that way!” The weapon lowered and she tilted her head, listening intently. “Look, you started thi-”

Without warning her body was flung back into the Tree Fort’s trunk with enough force to dent it, her axe becoming embedded in the branch above her. She growled, her flames intensifying in pace with her growing furor as she pulled herself away from her house. “Cheap shot, even for you!”

Rechte materialized above her, grinning smugly. “Aw, you’re making me blush, Linke.” 

Linke snarled as she turned, ripping her axe free from its branch-shaped prison. “Let’s see how smug you are when I melt your flippin’ face off!” With a grin that was more malice than joy she turned, flames now engulfing her instrument; as she spun the fire danced with her until it funnelled into a vortex. This fight was becoming strange to Rechte; Linke was aggressive, but this was extreme, even for her. Her use of fire was related to her emotional state, and her heavy use of the element could only mean she was well and truly furious. Another wave of fire dislodged from the vortex and Rechte shot backwards, narrowly avoiding being charred, but wasn’t quick enough to avoid injury, hissing when she felt her arm suffer a serious burn at the sudden assault. Her sleeve offered no protection, and the grey flesh was already beginning to boil and blacken, the muscles all but useless as her body frantically began to heal. Jake wrinkled his nose at the horrible smell, but was too engrossed in the fight to even consider asking the Unifier for some mercy-boops to hide the stench.

Cradling her arm while just barely balancing her axe Rechte grimaced at the cyclone. The taunting and humor were both gone now, as if she was only now coming to terms with the fact that her twin was exactly as strong as her, and both were equally motivated to kill the other. True, her arm was beginning to heal, but not fast enough; she could move it, but there was no way that she would be able to wield her bass offensively and she couldn’t stay on the defensive forever. While she was busy strategizing the vortex abruptly ceased, leaving Linke nowhere to be found. Eyes wide she brought her shield up once more, but Linke still did not appear. Her eyes narrowed in consternation; Linke was strong and fast, but she was also predictable, and she almost always followed up a rare firespin with a brute strike. A quick glance towards the audience didn’t reveal her either, but at least the Reason Incarnate found comfort that she wasn’t going after their friends. That was weird as well, though; this entire fight was triggered by Rechte’s desire to go home and protect them, so why-

She grinned.

“You’re out already?,” she called to the sky. When no answer presented itself she laughed. “That’s what happens when you don’t restrain yourself!” The world remained silent and she shrugged. “Well, tried to be merciful. You all saw it.” Now she was smirking once more, winking to Bonnibel before flying off. She narrowed her eyes.  _ Honestly, Marceline? You’re just leaving like- ...No. Bad Bubblegum. She wouldn’t just leave us here. She obvs has a plan. ...You need to trust her more.  _ Even as she admonished herself, however, she realized that she felt no remorse, only a detached recognition of her logical fallacy. There was no time to dwell on her lapse in judgment because there was a vampire plummeting from the sky, hitting the ground with a sickening *crack*, an axe landing beside her. Bonnibel held her breath as she carefully scanned her wrists, breathing a massive sigh when she saw the wristband, smiling when she saw Rechte land next to her, assaulting her twin with a look of pity.

Finn, on the other hand, looked awed. “Dude, how’d you do that?” 

Rechte glanced at him only momentarily before resuming her careful observation. “Forced her out of the sky with my telekinetic shield. Like when you knock a ball out of the air. Or a turd. Which one are you, Linke?” She nudged the wounded queen’s cheek with her foot. Finn’s awe only intensified. 

“Yeah but like… she was  _ on fire _ .” 

Rechte nodded absently. “She can’t keep it up, especially when she loses her cool. We can summon fire ‘cause we’re half demon, but we’re not  _ all  _ demon. We can’t do enough to keep it up all the time. She burned out.” The foot nudged her again. “I  _ know  _ Phoebe warned us about that. You gotta learn to listen to peeps, Linke.” He expected Rechte to look smug about this, any of it, but she seemed almost melancholy. From the angle of Linke’s body it was safe to say that the impact had broken her spine, and the fact that she wasn’t standing yet implied that her spinal column had been severed, leaving her paralyzed. The boy was thrilled that he was too far to see for sure whether or not there were any external injuries; he was no stranger to battle damage, but his yearly quota was already filled. Even now blood was beginning to trickle from Linke’s mouth and she turned to spit it away from her. Her hands were claws now, an instinctive reaction to being in such agony, and they twitched at the ground. Rechte offered her an encouraging smile. “Come on, guy. Time to go home.”

Linke’s response was to lash her claw out, catching her twin across the stomach. Rechte winced, feeling dead blood begin to pour, but the wound didn’t feel deep. Deep enough to kill a mortal perhaps, but not her. Never her. If anything it only strengthened her pity. She coughed from the sharp sudden pain, but covered her mouth with her fist to keep the blood off of her adversary as she felt that flesh knit itself together once more, having completed work on her arm.  “You know why I won, Linke? ‘Cause you didn’t think this through. Finn and Jake are right here. They make you weaker, which means they make  _ me  _ stronger. Either you secretly wanna go home so you threw the fight or you just didn’t actually think about this before you tried to wail on me.” Linke narrowed her eyes, but when she tried to rise Rechte pushed her back down, foot on her chest in a way that reminded Finn of when the Navigator was forced to pin the Unifier to prevent her from doing something rash. Rechte shook her head. “Sorry Linke. Game over. I’ll see you on the other side, okay?” Not waiting for a response she turned her axe so that its blade was perpendicular to Linke’s neck. Then she thrusted downward with enough force to crack the ground, separating her twin’s head from her body; in one clean sweep Rechte rendered her to ash, catching her soul before it could dart off, and oh did it try to make a hasty retreat.

Rechte didn’t move towards the group. She didn’t even look up. She was fixated on the spot, the place of Linke’s death. Bonnibel was eager to take this new soul shard but stopped herself just before demanding the victorious queen’s attention.  _...No. Break this down, Bubblegum. Enemy or not Linke and Rechte spent all of their time with one another and only with one another. Even their power was proportional with one another. Whatever their relationship, suffice it to say that they were close and this is upsetting.  _ Unfortunately, her mouth spoke for her. “Shall we?” 

At that Rechte blinked, snapping out of her trance. “Oh. Huh. Yeah.” After tightening her grip on the squirming soul shard she fixed the Unifier with a hard stare. “You ready for this? You’re gonna have both the Tyrant’s loyalty and submission and Linke’s instinct and selfishness at the same time with almost nothing else to balance it out. You sure you want that?” Four pairs of eyes turned to the Unifier, all expectant, all sympathetic. 

The vessel clenched her fist and set her jaw before nodding. “...Yeah. Let’s do this.” With a shrug and a muttered, “your funeral” the soul piece was released and absorbed before it could even consider running away.

The Unifier gagged. “Oh man, she tastes like failure!” She crouched, holding her stomach in a pathetic attempt to get the taste out of her soul. 

Rechte raised an eyebrow. “Well, that’s one way to react to her.” 

The Navigator kneeled beside her out of concern. Concern that she was hurt, and concern that she would hurt someone. “Yo, you get anything from her?” 

Still gagging the vessel stood shakily. “Not really sure. Kind of… ugh…” It was only now hitting her. What it meant to have such dramatically different pieces of her within her soul with nothing to mediate between them. She closed her eyes and shuddered with sudden rage, expertly repressed into fatigue. Then she felt something in her very soul jerk, something painful, something pleasurable, something that shouldn’t be there. She clenched her fist, eyes shooting open when she felt something very familiar.

In her hand she held a small orange fireball. Her elation was palpable. “MATH YEAH!,” she cheered, throwing it into the air where it burst harmlessly. Then she did it again. And a third time. After that she lost count, only stopping when she heard three voices speak at the same time.

“Wait, your fire is orange? But Tyrant’s was green!”

“Wait, your fire is orange? But Navigator’s is red!”

“Wait, your fire is orange? But Linke’s was blue!”

All three outsiders stopped, looked to one another in bafflement, then to the trio of the undead in more bafflement, which only became even more bafflement when the Navigator shrugged. “Yeah, all of our fire is different. No idea why. Never really thought about it to be honest.” 

Finn squinted at that logic, turning to Bonnibel. “What color is Marce’s? You know… when she’s whole I mean.” 

Bubblegum nodded, indeed knowing what he meant. “Orange. The same color as…” 

Catching her stare the Unifier closed her hand sharply, extinguishing the flame. Her heart dropped at the gesture, but recovered by a hair when she hesitated, then spoke to her of all people. “Probably because I’m supposed to eat everyone. You know. Closest to the whole and stuff.” 

The sweet moment threatened to turn awkward, saved at the last minute by Jake, who squinted at the Unifier in suspicion. “Hey, wait. Your pyrokinesis isn’t a vamp skill.” 

Rechte rolled her eyes. “Linke was closer to being a demon anyway. She liked going invisible, but she never really did any of that other stuff. Besides, we got other problems now.”

A heavy silence befell the group as the reality of the situation caught up with them. No one wanted to vocalize the problem, no one dared to give it life. Well, Finn dared. “Oh right… without Linke I guess we can’t do the portal thing. We’re walking.”  _ We’ll never beat the Usurper there now.  _

Rechte snorted, snapping him out of his thoughts. “No, we can still portal to the wad.” 

As Finn began to process this delightful news Jake narrowed his eyes at her. “I thought you said you need Linke? What’s the deal, hombre?”

She held up her hands, smirking. “Technically I just need Instinct.” Now her smirk was self-satisfied and aimed squarely at the Unifier. “That part of us is in you now. You can help me open the portal.” Her teasing turned thoughtful. “You know, if you wanted… you could probably turn into our void demon thing-”

“No. Uh uh. No way. Ever.”

“You sure about that? It’s pretty lumpin’ hard to hurt us like that. Probably come in handy against-”

The Unifier snorted, addressing Rechte as she eyed Bonnibel. “No. That’s it. Never again.”

The princess knew a challenge when she saw one.  _ Seriously, Marceline? If you can shift into that form we increase our odds of beating this ‘wad’ and the Usurper. We’re so close and now you want to-  _ Once again she stopped her train of thought at Rechte’s incredulous look. This time when she heard the words she loved to say they weren’t in her voice. They were in Marceline’s.

_ Make good choices. _

She stopped and analyzed the situation.  _ Rechte is right. It’s not enough to want to do better, I have to actually do better. Alright, break this down. That form isn’t like any of her other forms. She created it specifically to protect me. Yes, it’s almost invulnerable to damage but it stems from her desire to protect me, and she must still feel quite conflicted, even afraid of me. Logically, she should know it could easily be a trump card. But then when has she ever- ...No. Stop that. Stop that right now. This isn’t about you, Bubblegum.  _ The young scientist offered the Unifier a kind smile. “That’s alright, Marcy. No one’s going to ask you to go into that form if you don’t want to.” The vampire blinked, clearly having not expected anything other than an argument. Behind her Rechte grinned approvingly.

“Cool, so we can open the portal. Might not get us as close as I could with Linke, but it’ll still be faster than walking and you’ll still beat the Usurper there. Alright losers, go get your stuff out of my house. You’ll probably never be back here, so if you wants it, takes it.” Only now was it beginning to register that they were finally,  _ finally,  _ going to find the last Marceline, the one who could stop the Usurper, the one who could let them go home. With matching grins Finn and Jake high-fived before racing into the house. Bonnibel almost let them go alone before remembering something very important in the living room. As she passed her champions packing Finn’s bag with his belongings and a bewildering amount of Rechte’s food the princess couldn’t help but notice that the boy now possessed four functioning limbs. With a smile she recovered her messenger bag from the couch and a towel from the stove before ascending one more flight.

There on the table lay the object of her guilt.

After biting back the bile in her throat Bonnibel gingerly picked up the dagger. As she turned it over in her hands she gazed lazily at the chair she so recently shared with Rechte and could only think of their conversation, thumb absently rubbing the dark royal gem.  _ Thank you for believing in me, Marceline, but I’ve already made up my mind. Of course I’m bringing you home. You belong with me. You’re my mate, and my responsibility. The first thing I’m going to do when we get home is devise a way to help you recover. The second thing I’m going to do is to destroy this thing, metal and all.  _ Using the towel to safely wrap the blade the candy golem delicately placed the weapon in her bag, as if it could come alive and hurt her as well. With that secured she descended both ladders, finding the rest of her friends and lovers outside. Rechte was pointing to absolutely nothing in the air, engrossed in a conversation with the Unifier.

“-try to feel everything underneath reality. You’ve been to the wad’s lair, right?”

“Yeah,” she replied flatly.  
Rechte ignored the tone in favor of the content. “Cool. So what you do is you gotta feel out everything under reality, like looking beyond it. It’s all there, you just haven’t been able to see or feel it until now. Try to focus on the wad’s lair. You’re gonna suck at this at first, but that’s cool. I’ll try to fill in the blanks so that you guys get there.” 

Finn’s eyebrows raised. “You’re not coming with us?” He sounded almost hurt, and Rechte sounded like she was trying to soften a blow. 

“Eh, I’ll come, but… real talk guys: I might not be here for long.” 

His eyes widened. “Wha-” 

She nodded sagely. “Well, Linke and I were twins. Our power relates to one another. Her being gone doesn’t make me stronger, it makes me weaker. You can’t really do Reason without Instinct, or Instinct without Reason. We’re two sides of the same rockin’ coin.”

“You seem… pretty chill about this.”

“Eh. Like I told her before I kicked her butt, we both knew that eventually one of us was gonna gank the other. Just nature, dude. So I’ll tag along, keep an eye on the Unifier in case she can’t handle Linke, get you as close as I can, then I’ll bite it. Gonna have to happen anyway if we wanna go home.” Ignoring the trio of gawkers she turned back to the Unifier. “You ready to give this a shot?” When the Unifier said nothing Rechte nodded. “Cool, good talk. Alright. Feel it out, when you think you got it just tear. I’ll stabilize it and try to get us as close as possible. Aaaand… go.”

At first she didn’t ‘go’ at all, but before Rechte could lambaste her the Unifier took a steadying breath, reaching out into the area beyond them. Being told to reach in front of you and tear nothing sounded like a good prank, but Rechte was notoriously humorless, and moreso when such antics would get in the way of what she wanted. If Rechte said that’s how it worked then that was all the Unifier needed to hear. Still, she felt like an idiot: here she was, hand reached, feeling only air pass over it-

Then she felt it, like a tiny tear in the void. She could feel her nail catch into it briefly, teasing her, encouraging her to snatch it and pull with all her might, but it just didn’t feel like the tear she wanted. Her eyes closed to aid in concentration, letting her fingers slide over every tiny corner she could. Each tear felt like a place she had been to before; she could feel her Cave House, the cabin, the ruins, the grassl-

There.

Her hand clenched around a particularly sharp edge and her eyes opened. “Got it.”

“Awesome. Now rip its butt!”

With a grunt the Unifier tore the rip as wide as she could, blinking in shock when she saw the damage materialize before her. And how tiring it was, because despite her enormous strength this portal just did  _ not  _ want to open. Fortunately, Rechte was feeling particularly magnanimous and she moved the Unifier aside, ripping open the rest of the portal herself. Once it was large enough to allow entrance to five humanoids and a dog she muttered something, then shoved hard to wedge the opening in place. Once stabilized she stepped back from the soft blue opening, exhaling hard. “Alright!” With a grin she surveyed the three gaping outsiders and her two counterparts, secured her bass, then hooked her thumb towards the portal.

“So who’s coming?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Killed:
> 
> Neutral Evil (Power Recovered: Pyrokinesis)
> 
> Lawful Neutral (Power Recovered: Healing)
> 
> Lawful Good (Power Recovered: Flight)
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Killed:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	19. What's Broken Underneath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Hey guys! Lots of announcements!
> 
> First, sorry about the delay. I've been pretty sick for the past few days, and this chapter was pretty mentally taxing.
> 
> Second! So, when I first started writing the Symphony universe I stated that the point of it was to clash with canon as little as possible. The purpose of the Symphony universe was to 'fill in the blanks' as it were, not rewrite the script. Obviously, with Adventure Time not concluded yet, anything I write has the possibility of clashing. With the newest four episodes that happened, and I want to acknowledge two things about it: Finn, in canon, may already be aware of a relationship between Bonnie and Marcy, which makes part of the beginning of Rehearsal clashed. In addition, Hunson has now, in canon, met Bubblegum, making that part clashed as well. With that said, I will not be rewriting these scenes. But I want to respect that they exist and do take precedence.
> 
> Third! Guys, did you see? We're almost at 200 kudos! And bubbline is soft canon now! I'll do something to celebrate soon, because both of these things are awesome.
> 
> Fourth! You may have noticed that I've officially posted how many chapters I expect Rehearsal will have in total. Please note that this MAY change, especially after the next chapter. Still, I love you guys and wanted you to have at least some idea of what to expect.
> 
> Finally! Once again, thank you all so much for reading, kudos-ing, commenting, and bookmarking my work. You have absolutely no idea how happy this makes writers, especially me. It's what encourages me to continue this story with roughly-weekly updates. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter because... oh boy, you'll see.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Graphic Violence  
> World-Building  
> Implications of a Consensual Domme/Sub Relationship  
> Off-Hand Mention of a Naked Man  
> Implications of Lady-Sexing  
> Light Feels  
> Light Psychological Torture  
> Fatality  
> The Last Wild Marceline Appears!

Jake was not a happy guy. The plan had seemed so sound and so simple. The Unifier opens the portal. Rechte directs and stabilizes it. The group lands on the doorstep of the last of the Baddies. There were only three steps, and Jake wasn’t sure how it was possible to get three steps wrong, yet here they were. Yes, the Unifier had opened the portal. Yes, Rechte had stabilized it. And that was where things went wrong, because the elder champion didn’t know where they were, but the wad’s doorstep it wasn’t. In fact, he wasn’t sure where they were at all, except to say that it was a place they had never been, and whatever he had been expecting this certainly wasn’t it.

The first thing that caught Jake’s attention was the sky.

“...Huh.”

At his brother’s confused noise Finn looked up as well.

“...Huh.”

Few things in Marceline’s mind were consistent, this was an established fact that rang true no matter where they had travelled. There was a perpetual sky of dust hiding a mutilated twilight. The smell and presence of rust was everywhere. There was no red. The areas represented by her psyche were, although butchered characterizations, recognizable approximations of real locations in Ooo, past and present.

This had none of those things.

“Hey… Peebles?”

“Yes, Finn?”

“You’ve known Marce for a million years. Have you ever seen…?”

The young scientist shook her head, scanning their new surroundings with keen eyes. “No. This is new to me as well.”  _ And that’s alarming in of itself.  _ On the plus side, the smell of rust was gone. On the negative side was… everything else. The sky was bright red, almost blinding; there were no clouds and no dust to offer any cover, and gazing into it for too long hurt Jake’s eyes. Rather than consist of one sharp red there were patches of different shades in odd intervals and patterns. It looked almost patchwork, as if the creator had realized that they lacked enough of any one color to make a complete sky and so instead decided just to slapshot stitch them all together. There were no clouds, no twilight, and all traces of the dust were gone and he found himself wondering if this was what her mind’s sky really looked like, if this was what was hiding under the debris. The thought made him shudder, and he squinted at the quilt-like sky.  _ Only Marceline could make the sky itself unsettling. _

Though she was loathe to admit it Bubblegum found this new land disconcerting, and as Finn and Jake took to examining the hostile sky she took to the ground. It was black, but entirely unlike the floor of the ruins that had been their introduction to the vampire’s psyche. That ground, while black, had been smooth and consistent, the color flawless except where physically damaged. Instead this ground’s color was as inconsistent as the sky, with a perceivable red tint that vaguely reminded her of dried blood. Oblivious to those around her the princess kneeled, gingerly touching the ground.  _ It’s almost like… clay?  _ It was dry, and while it was firm she wasn’t convinced that it would be able to hold up against blunt impact.  _ Then again, physics doesn’t really apply to Marcy’s mind. It could be impenetrable for all we know.  _ She tapped the floor gently with her knuckles, then ran her fingertips over it.  _ Smooth. Too smooth. There are no gaps, cracks, chips, or any other form of damage. Whatever this is, it’s resilient.  _

She stood, scanning the ground as it spanned around them. It was only now that she noticed that it wasn’t just the color that was inconsistent; its shape was also bizarre. Visually, it looked bumpy, and harder than its texture could suggest, almost like a series of tiny stones huddled together to make a floor. She had seen this type of ground before, in old paintings and pictures from before the War. When she had been trying to ascertain where Marceline was from before the apocalypse before abdicating the effort when she saw how it upset her.  _...Cobblestone?  _ Kneeling once more, the young scientist ran her hand over the ground.  _ That’s… peculiar. Visually, it looks bumpy, but tactile investigation shows it to be smooth and perfectly even.  _ When she stood to test the ground with her foot she found that it felt both smooth and jagged simultaneously. It also stretched endlessly, giving the appearance of a perfectly flat landscape in every direction, with no sign of any of the other areas they had visited whatsoever, and devoid of such trivialities of plant life - even emaciated plant life - or other form of decoration.

That was odd to say the least; she could think of nowhere in Ooo that possessed a landscape with the consistency of dry clay or the appearance of cobblestone, let alone with that unique coloration or imperviousness. Not for the first time she wished she could bring something unique to her lover’s mind back to Ooo to study. True, it didn’t really exist, but it had to come from somewhere; Marceline was creative and imaginative beyond measure, but it had to be rooted in  _ something _ , and the princess wanted to know what that something was. It seemed familiar, and the fact that she couldn’t place it was frustrating, enough to make her face tighten and her jaw set. Just as she was about to turn and ask one of her queens for their input the scientific voice that made her brain its home whispered and in the back of her mind one word:  _ terraform.  _ She blinked.  _ Terraform? What could that possibly have to- _

“Wow, you got us a lot closer than I thought. Congratulations, Unifier: you suck slightly less than I thought you did.”

“Rechte, I’m going to rip your-”

“Temper,” she teased. “Just like Linke. And don’t say you’re nothing like her, because you are, and you’re gonna have to learn to deal.”

Before the Unifier could retort Finn waved his hand to get their attention. “Uh… ladybros? Where are we? ‘Cause like… this doesn’t really look like a doorstep.” His voice trailed off slowly at Rechte’s amused expression.

“Oh, it’s a doorstep alright. You’re just not supposed to see it.” He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes. “The wad is big on the belief that people only see what they expect to see. If you don’t know what to expect you can’t find her. Makes it impossible to enter her lair unless you know what you’re doing. Or she invites you.” 

He considered that logic. “So… we have to wait for an invitation?” 

The vampire snorted. “Flip no. We’d die out here. Nah, guy. We knock.” Before he could ask how they could possibly knock in a desolate wasteland Rechte turned back to her other selves. “You want me to do it?” 

The Navigator raised an eyebrow. “You sure? I could do it. Not like I’m not used to it.” 

Rechte shrugged. “Yeah, but if we run into a Repressed Thought you two stand a better chance of killing it than I do. Just being realistic, you know?” Behind her Finn mouthed to Bonnibel, ‘repressed thought?’, only to receive a shrug in reply. 

The Navigator sighed. “True facts. Alright, go ahead.”

With a self-satisfied smirk the vampire removed her bass and, in one swift motion exemplifying years of practice, sliced across her own abdomen, kneeling to allow the dark maroon blood to spill to the ground.

  
“DUDE! WHAT THE FLIP?!”

Although she grimaced from the obvious pain she otherwise gave no indication that what she had just done was unusual in any way. Finn gaped. “Why would you do that?!” 

She eyed him as she slowly rose, allowing the deep wound to begin healing. “Because I don’t want to go through the stuff of reattaching my arm and,” she turned to Bubblegum, who was already preparing an admonishment for her self-mutilation, “it’s the only way to knock.” 

Green eyes narrowed. “Explain, Marceline.” The tone was dangerous, but Rechte seemed to find it amusing and not the least bit threatening. 

“That’s how you knock, Bon. You gotta give something up in order to find her. We heal, so it’s easiest to just spill some blood.” 

_ Then why not have the Unifier do it when she possesses-  _ The question stopped before it could leap out of her mouth and hurt someone.  _...That might sound a bit insensitive, given that we’re not exactly on friendly terms. Logical, but not very helpful, Bubblegum.  _ Instead she nodded. Unhappily. Because if anyone could make a nod unhappy, it was Princess Bubblegum. Instead, she asked the real question. “Are you alright?”

Rechte nodded, rubbing the recently-healed wound. “Yeah, I’m good. Besides-” Now she was pointing down, and the three outsiders followed her hand. There, on the ground, her blood was beginning to trace south with a flourish, as if being drawn forward in some artistic pattern impossible to see from the ground. It looped, it spiralled, but it went in one direction only. “That’s the way we go.” 

Jake groaned. “Aw man. How much walking do I gotta do?” 

She chortled. “Calm down. It looks a lot farther than it is. You’ll be there before you know it.” Behind her both the Unifier and Navigator snickered, and Rechte was smirking in a devilish way.  _ Nothing ominous about that, nope, not at all.  _ With a sigh Jake made the difficult decision to blindly trust the vampire and grew to a more reasonable size, easily twenty times his size and weight, depositing his brother onto his back. Before he could retrieve the princess, however, she was scooped up by the now-weakest vampire. 

“Marcy!” 

The vampire grinned. “What?” She tried to sound so innocent, but of course the laughter strayed into her voice and betrayed her. Without waiting for a retort she turned to her counterparts. “Hey, someone-”

And with that the Unifier was already floating off. “I’ll go lead.” 

The smirk dropped into a frown, mirrored by the Navigator. “...Alright, good talk. Guess I’m on lookout duty.” This seemed a satisfactory response, because Rechte took to the sky, landing next to Finn. When she sat she pulled the princess back in their original position, the shorter woman between her legs and leaning against the queen. Said queen stuck her tongue out at the Navigator as she landed beside her. “I’m the favorite.” 

Bonnibel immediately started, but the stronger vampire only rolled her eyes. “Obvs. Congrats.” 

Clearly smug, Rechte pulled the young scientist against her, waiting for her to relax as she stroked her hair. “Chill, Bon. We’re fine. Besides, she’s just gonna-” Before the sentence could be finished a small puffball seemed to fall out of the air into a delightfully warm lap. “...Do that.” 

The bat nudged the hand. When that failed to elicit a response it narrowed its eyes and nudged again. Then a third time. Finally, after a fourth time, she looked up to see Bonnibel giving her a firm look. “Manners, Marcy.” A forked tongue stuck out at her before the bat pressed against the candy golem’s stomach. Evidently this was the correct course of action, the pink hand finally conceding to petting the small puff until it purred.

Finn stared at the spectacle, shook his head, blinked, shook his head a second time, then was struck by a thought. “Hey, Rechte! What’s a ‘Repressed Thought’?” 

She lifted an eyebrow at him. “A thought you don’t wanna have?”

“No, like-”

“Chill, loser. I know what you meant. It’s what those monsters are.” He stared and she sighed. “You ever have a thought… and it’s like ‘woah, there’s no way this thought is okay’? Like it’s just so bad, so wrong, and you can’t just reason it away so you just push it down inside you until you don’t have to look at it any more?” That was rhetorical, of course; every member of the group, save perhaps Jake, knew exactly what that was like. “That’s what those monsters are. They’re thoughts we’ve repressed because they’re just… wrong. They play favorites, too.”

“...Favorites?”

“Yup. They  _ love  _ me the most. Navigator, too.”

He brightened with sudden understanding. “Oh yeah! When we were with Unifier we didn’t see any of them, but once Navigator was with us we got attacked by two.”

Her head tilted. “You were with Tyrant then too, yeah?” She would never indicate it, but the answer was clear in the way Bonnibel had tensed at the memory. The boy nodded. “Yeah, they loved her, too. The squishier the part you represent the more they love you and want to be your friend. They never attacked Linke unless she was with me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Usurper get attacked either, but she attacked them a lot. They probably ignored Unifier because she was empty back then.”

“...Arbitrator?”

Rechte’s smile was gentle. It was clear that her death was affecting him more than she had thought possible, and it wasn’t within her to fling that in his face. She didn’t know what he had seen, but hoped he would find peace with it once they returned to Ooo. “Finn, she was fine. She wasn’t as good as Navigator at being invisible but she was a close second. I don’t think she ever even fought one.” That seemed to ease something within him, and she hoped it wasn’t his conscience. Finn could be oddly sentimental at the absolute worst times. 

Jake stretched his mouth back to line it next to his ear. “Uh… if they like you two the most should you be back here? Together? On me?” 

His fear was not alleviated by her indifferent shrug, but there it was anyway. “If they’re gonna find us they’re gonna find us. We have to go together anyway. Just calm down and let the almost invincible vampires protect your sorry butts.” Bonnibel frowned.  _ ‘Almost’ is the operative word, Marcy.  _ In her lap the Navigator cuddled closer.

Ahead of the pack, Jake returned his elongated body parts to their proper positions. “So what’s the story up here, Marceline?” The Unifier was frowning, scanning the area carefully. She was tense, though that wasn’t new; she had been tense ever since she discovered the dagger, and absorbing Linke had only made it worse. The combination of instinct and loyalty was putting her on edge, which, in turn, put Jake on edge. Rather than respond she only shook her head. He sighed, stretching an ear and his mouth back to the bulk of the group. “Guys, Unifier won’t talk to me and I’m bored.” Rechte frowned, her embrace tightening around her lover’s waist. 

Bonnibel allowed herself to be pulled closer. “Is it her absorption of Linke?” 

The being of Reason sighed. “Probably.” Finn disliked the forlorn tension in her voice, but the question on his mind begged to be asked. 

“Hey Rechte? You said that you thought Linke might have thrown the fight, right?”

“Mm. Possible.”

“...Why?”

She shrugged. “Eh. I just think it’s a thing that might be a thing. We’ve been together for a long time, fought a buttload of times, too. It’s hard to explain, but that fight ended too quickly.”

“Like she just… gave up? Why would she do that?”

“She might have changed her mind and just not been able to admit it. You know, an ‘in too deep’ kind of thing.”

His curiosity was beginning to change into concern. “Do you think it’s what’s messing with Unifier?” 

Rechte seemed to consider this, growing silent and contemplative as she glanced over her shoulder. “...Mm. I wanna check something. Stay cool, dorks, I’ll be right back.” With great care she detangled herself from Bonnibel, flying to join the Unifier at the front. Bubblegum watched her leave, tensing at the abrupt departure. She knew she could trust Rechte not to do something stupid, but she was still  _ a  _ Marceline; her queen had never been the most level-headed, and she was sure that even the embodiment of Reason itself was being negatively influenced in some way by her twin’s death. After all, it was Marceline’s  _ version  _ of reason. Unfortunately, it seemed that Rechte was just as unwilling to discuss her turmoil as the rest of her counterparts, something that the princess found simultaneously relieving and infuriating. Perhaps sensing her growing ire, the Navigator wiggled out from under her hand, looking up at her as she cuddled her back against her stomach.

“What’s up, nerd?” 

The young scientist briefly considered denying that anything was wrong at all, but she knew that the Navigator was far too insightful to believe that ruse, and way too stubborn to discourage.  _ Now that I think about, that might be one of the things I love most about Marcy.  _ She looked down at the small puffball, patting its head with a warm finger. “It’s… a bit difficult.” 

The Navigator frowned, waiting for her princess to elaborate. When she failed to do so, however, her head tilted. “Pretty sure this whole thing is mondo weird, Bon. You guys have seen some crazy jazz. I don’t think this is what you all were expecting when you came looking for us, huh?” 

The younger royal smiled sadly. “No, Marcy, I think it’s safe to say that this isn’t what we were expecting. But it’s not just that.”   
  
“Yeah?”

She nodded, shifting her glance briefly to Finn. He was doing a marvelous job of listening while pretending not to be listening. “After my conversation with Rechte I’ve been forced to revisit my own assumptions, both where you and our relationship are concerned as well as my own motivations and desires. You’re separate now, but you’re all part of one person.  _ My  _ Marcy. And she’s a lot more intuitive and insightful than I thought possible.” When she stopped, caught on what she couldn’t admit, the little furry head nudged under her palm for encouragement. It worked. “When Rechte first pulled me aside she told me that she knew me better than I knew myself. I thought she was just being a butt, but… she was right. She knew way more about me than I ever did, or at least… I could ever admit to myself. At the time we were focused entirely on me, and don’t get me wrong, it was way helpful… but then she had to gank Linke, and I realized that I don’t know what the Unifier’s feeling right now.”

The Navigator frowned, rolling off of her lap to resume her normal form. “Like… we knew you that deep but you’re still trying to get a handle on us?” When the singer settled against the princess she felt her head rest against her shoulder, followed by a nod. She tensed. “Bon… you know how we feel about you-” 

Bonnibel’s sigh was weary. “I know, Marcy, but that’s kind of my point. I’ve done a lot of really messed up stuff to you, even beyond all this junk. We… both know how I am.” It didn’t take a brainlord to read the subtext, that these were not things that could be discussed with Finn present. Fortunately, Bonnibel was talking to the stealth master. 

“Sure, Bon. We’ve been together for like a million years.” 

Bubblegum began to absently play with calloused fingers, a comfort behavior if there ever was one. “But that’s my point, Marceline. You know me. You accept me. A part of you even understood why I…” She stopped, unable or perhaps simply unwilling to further remind everyone about her betrayal. “I’m a scientist, Marcy, but I let my judgment be clouded by assumptions, and in essence I must now ask myself… how well do I really know you?” 

The Navigator tensed and Finn’s eyes widened in alarm and in a silent warning that she recover from a blunder she didn’t understand. When she figured it out her own eyes widened and her head shook. “No, Marcy, that was badly worded. That wasn’t what I meant.” For emphasis she nuzzled her shoulder and laced their fingers. “What I mean is that I took you for granted, and I have been for centuries.” 

The vampire relaxed, resting her head on top of her own. “Bon, you already apologized. I’m willing to hear you out when we get back, remember? You don’t need to keep trying to convince me.”

“No, Marcy. This isn’t about the dagger.” 

Garnet eyes blinked as the Navigator lifted her head. “Yeah? What’s it about, Bon?” 

Unlike the half-demon, the young scientist didn’t move from her spot; after everything that had happened during their journey thus far she was unwilling to take whatever time they had together for granted. “When the chaos amulet was forced on you your mind shattered into eight pieces. You’re all unequal reflections of core pieces of my Marceline. By denying her I’ve also denied all of you. That you’re valid. That you’re important. I dismissed those of you that I considered an annoyance while actively discouraging whatever I disliked. And… that includes you.” She pulled away, wanting to look - actually look - at the Navigator. Perhaps sensing the intimacy of the moment, Finn shrank away; where he went, exactly, she didn’t care, she only hoped he took Jake’s ear and mouth with him. “You’re the embodiment of sentiment, and you’re the strongest component that isn’t a Big Baddie. That must mean that a large part of my Marceline is sentimental, and it’s her sentiment that gives her her version of a moral code. I have been… less than supportive of you. In fact… I have actively discouraged you.” The Navigator smiled sadly, but didn’t contradict the assertion. “I never understood why you were important. What your true function was. I only cared that I could use you against yourself. I could abuse your desire for physical contact and your affection for me. You were…” 

When she didn’t finish the Navigator did for her. “...Your weapon against me?” 

Bonnibel flinched, not only at the words themselves but the soft tone they came wrapped in. “In essence, yes. I used your affection for me to manipulate you.” 

Now that the words had been said she tensed, only to be pulled against her mate. “Bon… it’s alright-” 

To the vampire’s surprise, the younger monarch only shook her head. “No, Marcy, it isn’t. But when we return to Ooo… I’ll find a way to make it right.” 

The rockstar blinked, then smiled, her hand rising to her on her warm cheek. “I know you will, Bon. You’re a brainlord. You got this.”

Bonnibel returned the smile, but only momentarily, only until her eyes trailed to the front where Rechte and the Unifier were engaged in a tense discussion. The Navigator followed her gaze, then traced it back to her. “What’s up?” 

Bubblegum stared for a moment longer, then returned to her current company. “Just… something Unifier told me.” The half-demon didn’t ask for elaboration, but it was thrust upon her regardless. Not that she was going to stop it; it was so very rare to see the princess open up emotionally, and so very cathartic to do. It was an important milestone, and far be it for her to prevent it. “When we last attempted to lay siege against the Usurper… when the Unifier and I were taking shelter in the far side of the cabin’s territory she was less than pleased to see me. She accused me of abandoning both of you in favor of Tyrant the moment we found her.” Bubblegum could no longer look at the Navigator and dropped her gaze, hand coming to rest against her forearm as she looked every bit a guilty child. “I was furious. To me, both of you had been nothing but antagonistic, whereas Tyrant was willing to hear out of my side of the story. It seemed only logical that I begin damage control with her… but that wasn’t true. Tyrant was submission  _ and  _ loyalty. I encouraged her submission while ignoring the ‘loyalty’ part. I was just so thrilled to finally have something about the situation go the way I wanted it to I didn’t care exactly why it was happening. I wasn’t fair to her. Yet I thought I was being perfectly logical at the time. How can I be sure I can do anything for reasons that aren’t selfishly motivated when it comes to you?” 

When her voice grew took quiet the Navigator frowned. “Bon, look at me.” When that failed to work a grey hand cupped her cheek, turning her gently to face her. “Tyrant… yeah, it’s true that what you did was messed up, I’m not gonna lie. But see? You’re trying to make things better. This is new for you. That’s okay.” Words from a surprisingly wise friend floated through her mind. “You suck at it now, but it’s because you’re still learning. This is the most ‘suck at this’ you’ll ever be.” Cool fingers traced her jaw. “Besides… Tyrant’s submission was only to you because you and I have always had a…” She stopped short, not comfortable finishing that sentence with a sweet innocent child in the immediate area. “...You and I have both been happy with how we work for hundreds of years. If you don’t believe me just Rechte. We’re  _ not  _ Tyrant and we’re both happy with it.” If she didn’t know any better she could have sworn she saw Bonnibel blush slightly and took it as a good sign. “When we get back to Ooo you and I can have a long talk, and you can get to know the pieces of us that make us into us. But right now don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?” Without waiting for a response she pulled the candy princess into her arms, not letting her resist as she kissed her forehead. “You’re a brainlord, Bon. You’ll let mental stuff eat you up. You gotta not this time, though. Just trust me on this, okay?” Bubblegum opened her mouth to argue, realized she had no satisfactory argument, then relaxed in her mate’s embrace.  _...You win, Marcy. _

While the Navigator and Bonnibel engaged in a deep and heartfelt discussion that Finn definitely was not hearing no-sir-ee, the Unifier had been joined at the front by Rechte. “Yo, dink, what’s going on up here?” There was no response and Rechte’s eyes narrowed. The vampire before her was a worrying sight; she was all coiled muscle, eyes pinned as she scanned the area, fingers twitching as if trying to materialize her bass from her back straight into her palm. Rechte had seen this exact posture before; she didn’t like it then and she didn’t like it now, because while her friends were worried that the Unifier was going to self-destruct from having two parts of the whole so conflicted about Bonnibel warring within her Rechte knew that was a non-issue. She had a much bigger potential problem, and the last thing she wanted was to have to involve the others, especially Finn. He and the Unifier seemed oddly close, and she wanted to encourage that emotional vulnerability. Her voice lowered, something too quiet even for the Navigator’s sensitive hearing and too soft to be jarring to the hyper-vigilant self before her. “Unifier… can you hear me?” Her grunt was a satisfactory answer. “We need you to calm down.” Another grunt. “I know it’s hard to focus through the haze. You gotta, though. If you don’t I can’t help you get a hold on all this biz.” She heard a soft growl as a pinned eye quickly redirected, focusing now on her. It was a good sign.

“Awesome, thanks. Let’s do this from the beginning. It’s Rechte. You know I’m not a threat, and you could tear me in half if you wanted. Navigator’s not a threat either, okay? She’s the one who’s been protecting the Dork Patrol before you were strong enough to. No threats here.” It wasn’t much, but she watched the Unifier relax, now focusing more on her than not. Another good sign. “I’m not gonna kid and say something dumb like ‘I know what you’re going through’.... ‘Cause, you know, that’s literally impossible. Do  _ you  _ wanna know what you’re going through, though? ‘Cause that I can do.” When she heard no objections she took that as an affirmation. “You’re doing what Linke used to do. See, the thing about instinct is that it just… does things. It was always the difference between us, you know? She did stuff, and sometimes that got her in trouble. Really simple-minded kid. She’s in you now.” The Unifier narrowed her eyes, and Rechte rolled her’s. “Chill, dinkus. Let me finish. Linke was the opposite of me in a lot of ways. She never thought about the consequences of  _ anything _ . She  _ couldn’t.  _ That’s in you, but that’s not all you have. You also have Tyrant in you, and I’m gonna guess they’re mixing in a not-too-awesome way-” 

The Unifier’s eyes resumed their normal dilated state as she shook her head. “I’m fine, Rechte. No problems here.” 

The response was a flick to her ear, which was quickly rubbed in irritation. “Don’t interrupt. Man, you’re annoying. As I was saying, you’re doing this ‘hyper protective’ thing. Sounds great on paper, but trust me, it isn’t. So I’m switching you with Navigator-”

“Like flip you are-”

“-or I tell the others and they babysit you.”

The Unifier grit her teeth. She  _ hated  _ ultimatums, never tolerated them, not even from Bonnibel. Well, sometimes from Bonnibel. Okay, almost exclusively from Bonnibel. But that was it, and although she wanted to argue with Rechte she knew her weaker self was serious: she didn’t make idle threats, she said and did only what she meant, and the last thing the Unifier needed was to have five pairs of eyes watching her every move, like she’d either explode or implode or however that worked. “...Fine.” With that she turned back, knowing she had an escort. When she landed beside Finn Rechte floated next to the Navigator. 

“Her shift’s up, your’s is up. I’d take over, but you two are stronger than me. Your burden now.” She smirked and the Navigator narrowed her eyes. She was quite comfortable with her lover, thank you very much, but even she knew that Rechte never did anything without a reason, and if she was pulling the Unifier there had to be a good reason.

“...Fine. I’m too cool for you losers anyway. Later, dorks.” With one kiss to Bubblegum’s cheek she stuck her tongue at Rechte and yanked the Unifier’s previous position from her. The Unifier’s response was to glare at her retreating back. And at Rechte. And Bonnibel. She meant to glare at Finn and Jake’s conspicuous ear, but was strangely finding it hard to be mad at the mere mortals. Instead she floated to the side of the dog, once again being as far away from the group as possible while technically still being part of it. Now the princess was frowning but for a much different reason than last time. She turned to Rechte, who raised an eyebrow and mouthed, ‘talk to her’. Permission - or was it encouragement? - granted she stood, making her way to the curled up vampire with just enough noise to announce her presence and nothing more. There she stopped, the words suddenly caught in her throat.  _...This might be the only chance you have, Bubblegum. Don’t lose your nerve now. She deserves better than that.  _ Once more she started to speak, then lowered herself to sit on her knees, hoping the Unifier would appreciate the subtle gesture of sitting at her level, rather than her usual position of lecturing from above.

“...I know you don’t want to see me right now. Or… perhaps ever again. But I need to apologize to you. An actual apology, and to you specifically. I see now that I have been more unfair to you than I initially suspected. This entire journey I’ve been so focused on what I-”  _ don’t say know don’t say know  _ “-know is best-”  _ what the flip, Bubblegum better find a way to recover fast  _ “-that I disregarded you as an individual. You’re a vessel, and that was what I focused on first and foremost. I cannot begin to imagine what it must feel like to experience yourself being radically altered every time we take one step closer to going home. I erroneously assumed that because you were absorbing pieces of yourself that were actually  _ yourself  _ that you would simply adjust in time. I was wrong.” If she didn’t know any better she could have sworn she saw an ear twitch and successfully kept the smile from her voice.  _ She’s listening. She’s actually listening to me. Don’t. Blow. This. ...Again.  _ “I should have been helping you cope, whatever that meant for you.” She wrung her hands as a painful memory reared its ugly head, and she did nothing to repress the shudder. The Unifier deserved better than that. 

“...Do you remember when I de-vamped you, and we had to gank all those vampires? When we whooped Hierophant’s butt he envenomed you. It didn’t seem so bad at first. But… you were dying. I held you in my arms and could see his venom coursing through you. I could hear your breaths grow shallow. You had been warm and were growing colder by the moment. I almost lost you, for realzorz. It was such a painful memory that I just… blocked it out. I forgot what it meant. The fear. The guilt. Then when you put-”  _ forced you forced it  _ “...No, when I forced your father’s amulet on you I watched you almost die all over again, and I  _ still  _ forgot what that was like. I became obsessed with my desires and assumed that I knew what was best for you.” As her legs grew numb she knew she had to either run or get to the point. She shifted position, sitting to pull her knees to her chest. “I don’t regret coming, or encouraging you to come home. But I could have been more tactful, and taken your trepidation seriously. I didn’t need to use you.” Her hand gripped her jacket’s sleeve. “To be honest, Marcy… I’m not sure I’m capable of changing. Or if I want to, at least when it comes to my kingdom and foreign affairs. But I realize now that all of those tools I use on a daily basis are also weapons, and I had no problem aiming them at you if it got me what I wanted.” The grip tightened. “...I can’t leave you down here, Marcy. You’re wounded. But… once we get back I won’t force you to stay. I shouldn’t have forced you to do anything.”

There was no reaction to those words, and she hoped it was because the Unifier was listening intently.  _ Or she fell asleep.  _ When the undead monarch sighed the younger woman allowed herself a smile.  _ Okay, not asleep. Excellent.  _ “...I don’t think you’re capable of changing, Bubblegum. I don’t think you’re saying all of those pretty words for me. I think it’s because you feel guilty, and it’s the easiest way to make that go away.” Bonnibel winced, but didn’t argue; she didn’t exactly have a great track record of understanding her own motives, but the fact that the Unifier was talking, actually talking to her, without yelling was a huge step forward. 

She hoped. 

“...I’d like to say that-”  _ don’t say you’re wrong  _ “-I disagree, but you’re right; I can’t discount that as a possibility.” If she didn’t know any better she could have sworn she saw a garnet eye peak over her shoulder, but knew better than to draw attention to it. “Nevertheless, Marceline… you deserve better than how I’ve treated you.”  _ You deserve better than me.  _ But that wasn’t her decision to make, no matter how guilty she felt, and she knew it. “I can’t make promises that I’ll change, but I can promise that I’ll try to learn to be better. Not only for you whole, but for you personally. You’re not just a vessel, and you’ve never been empty.”

“You sure you’re not just saying that because it’s the easiest way to get what you want?” The words were so acidic touching them may corrode flesh.   
  
Bonnibel swallow hard. She knew she deserved that. “...No. I’m not sure. I don’t think that’s my motive, but I can’t discount it as a possibility. I know I’ve done nothing to earn your trust. But I’m done hurting you, and I realize now that it’s up to  _ you  _ to decide what that means.” The Unifier didn’t react, she only kept her back turned to the younger woman. It prevented her from seeing garnet eyes wide, glassy from repressed tears. The vampire wasn’t lying when she said they were pretty words. 

“...I have nothing to say to you.” That wasn’t entirely accurate though; she just didn’t know  _ what  _ to say to her. What do you say to the woman who betrayed five or six centuries or trust? What do you say to the woman you aren’t sure if you can’t just not want to forg- 

“I understand, Marcy. I’ll just got back to the other side-” If she hadn’t been looking so intently she wouldn’t have caught the queen tense. “...If you want me to.”  _ Nice save.  _

The Unifier seemed to consider this thoughtfully, before “...Yeah. I’ll be over in a second.” 

Smiling now, the young scientist stood. “I’ll let them know. ...I lo-” She caught herself, knowing that her estranged mate was definitely not ready to hear those three little words from her.

When she returned to her gallant champions and half-demon she carefully took stock of the situation. Finn and Jake’s ear and mouth seemed to be actually engaged in some game or conversation - she couldn’t be bothered to find out - but they weren’t the focus of her attention anyway. With a weak smile she took her original position sitting between Rechte’s legs, letting the musician gently hold her and whisper softly in her ear, “I’m proud of you.” 

Her smile wasn’t so weak anymore, and she rested her head against her chest. “I’m trying.” 

Rechte’s voice stayed at a whisper. “I know. Navigator knows. And I think Unifier knows, too. Give it some time. You’re off to a good start.” They settled into a comfortable silence, and when the remaining twin hummed softly Bonnibel felt herself begin to doze, still smiling.  _ I’m never going to get tired of that sound.  _

Her nap was interrupted when she heard the Unifier plop next to Finn. “What up, losers?” 

Rechte raised an eyebrow, pointing to her counterpart’s clothing. “You gonna actually do something about that, or is it a wicked new fashion statement?” 

The Unifier blinked and glanced downward, following her gesture to her heavily torn and bloodied shirt, courtesy of Linke’s attempted murder. “Oh yeah. Forgot about that.” She placed a hand on the front of the cloth and closed her eyes. After a small delay the dried blood faded, the shirt knitting itself whole in a way that reminded the candy golem of when her flesh healed. It brought her some relief…

“MARCELINE!”

...until Finn’s outcry. The rockstar turned to the boy eyebrow raised. He just looked so flippin’ funny when he was mad. “Yeah?” 

Now he was turning red. “You said that you couldn’t fix clothes if they were on someone!”

“...Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

“You lied!”

When she felt Bonnibel repress a giggle Rechte smirked. “You wanna fill me in here?” 

Finn narrowed his eyes, not looking away from the Unifier, who was holding her hands up in defense, despite her grin. “When we got here my clothes were all jacked up, and  _ someone  _ told me that I needed to get nekkid in order to fix them!” 

If he hoped from back-up from Rechte he forgot who he was talking to. “Wait, you made Finn strip? Dude, that’s redonkulus.” 

The Unifier snickered. “I know! It’s messed up! I didn’t think he was gonna do it at first-” Finn’s face was turning an interesting shade of red; whether it was from anger or embarrassment no one could say. That only made it funnier. “Finn, calm down-”

The noise interrupted them. That familiar cacophony of metal scraping on metal, that concussive sound that forced everyone in attendance to cover their ears, almost causing Jake to lose his balance and topple over. It was the sound that something terrible was about to happen. At once the Navigator returned, frowning as Rechte and the Unifier rose. “Yeah, we have a problem.” 

The Unifier smirked, bass already drawn. “Something to kill?” 

Rechte narrowed her eyes at her. “Calm down. Man, you’re annoying. That said though… yeah, probably.” The Unifier seemed way too happy about that and Finn frowned, watching her carefully.  _ Is that… Linke’s part of her soul?  _ Whatever it was, he didn’t like it; the last they’d need is Marceline in a bloodlust state.  _ Though that’s kinda weird. She hasn’t done that at all. Actually… none of them have? So why-  _ But the young hero had no time to analyze that train of thought further. As the ground split Rechte yelled something to Jake, who nodded and scooped up his non-undead passengers, depositing them safely as he resumed his normal size. He looked frantically for a place to hide, but there was nothing around them, nothing but wasteland and he was beginning to take this personally and would happily have vocalized such a grievance, except whatever the monster was it was beginning to emerge from the crevice and it looked too much like-

“Is that… are those  _ hands?! _ ”

Two pale blue, humanoid arms lurched forward from the giant whole. The another. Then another, and even more came as they lifted whatever its true form was from wherever it was it came from, and the trio of vampires waited for the body itself to emerge before striking but that proved futile. The arms were the monster itself, wrapped in a tight knot in its core. There were dozens, perhaps more, all pale blue and humanoid but that was where the similarities ended. Some were short, too stumpy to be an actual threat whereas others were thin and long. Some were thicker, more masculine with muscular fingers whereas others were thinner, more feminine and possessed sharp nails. Two particularly long ones thrashed from the middle, and Finn wondered if they even had bones. The ones towards the top grasped in the air in a futile gesture, though what for was anyone’s guess. Many, if not all, were covered in a fine white fuzz, fluffy enough to hide where the back or palms actually were.

At the base of the middle finger of each hand was some sort of gold ring, but even at a distance Finn could see that each band appeared serrated and with every jerk dug into their digits, shredding the skin below. Finn been under the impression that the slug creature he and his brother had been big, but oh how wrong he was. It was tall, perhaps even as tall as the Tree Fort proper, and its girth put anything Jake could change into to shame. It also appeared uncoordinated; as some arms moved they elbowed others, resulting in retaliation in the form of scratches and pinches. Its writhing was unsettling, and it seemed to move by rolling in a ball, each hand doing its part to push it forward before righting itself to stand on the particularly long arms. It swayed unsteadily, and Bubblegum found herself involuntarily searching for any form of sensory organs, because, strictly anatomically speaking, it made absolutely no sense.

Rechte wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Ugh. This thing.”

Now it seemed to notice the group, dropping into a ball. “Aw, crud.” Rechte turned to the Navigator. “Babysit the losers! I’m taking the Unifier out for a walk!” If the Navigator had a response she didn’t care; she was already pulling the vessel forward. Not that she needed to; the mid-tier half-demon seemed all-too willing to fight something. With a soft growl the Navigator landed in front of the outsiders, a sharp look keeping them behind her. Bonnibel looked from her back to the combatants with a frown.  _ Why take Unifier when Navigator is stronger?  _ But that question would have to wait, and she clenched her hands as she watched the Unifier take the lead, trying desperately to rationalize her behavior. Because the only time she had ever seen Marceline eager to fight it meant a bloodlust was on the horizon, and it was incredibly difficult to get her to calm down from that. Her concerns were interrupted when she watched one thin, dainty hand turn towards their group, index finger curling to press against the bass of the thumb before flicking forward, a sharp nail detaching as it flung at the group only to be stopped short by a telekinetic shield. The princess immediately searched for Rechte, but she was too far away which meant-

The Navigator smirked. “Surprised, nerd? Rechte’s not the only one who can do that. I’m not gonna let you guys get impaled.” 

Finn grinned, suddenly a lot more at ease than he was moments ago. “You got this, Marce.” 

She snickered. “Always do. Now stay  _ inside  _ the shield, kay? I’m not going after you.” She totally would, but they didn’t need to know that. Fortunately, Jake had no intention of leaving the relative safety of his friend’s forcefield. Nor of fighting a weird ball-made-of-hands creature. Bubblegum took a place next to the vampire, Rechte’s claim that these monsters were representative of repressed thoughts at the forethought of her mind.  _ That means they all reflect some thought Marcy self-censored. What could possibly-  _ She caught the Navigator’s look, a clear ‘not now, Bonnibel’ if there ever was one, and dropped her mental dissection. The screech brought her mind back to battle as she watched the Unifier slice off a finger with a missing nail. 

It was a clean sweep, the bone severed with almost surgical precision to reveal not only its remains, but the pulsing blue tendons from within, flexing and unflexing as the sinew tried to search for its missing flesh, and yet, curiously enough, there was no blood. Upon closer inspection there was no marrow either; the bone just terminated with nothing within it. Yet it looked to be in pain, the remaining four fingers twitching in a way suggesting nerve damage. As it lost its balance the hands dropped into a ball, rotating to bring it out of harm’s way. Now its focus was squarely on the Unifier, who flew backwards in a taunt that reminded Bonnibel exactly of how the Tyrant had taunted the monster she fought.  _ I really hope that’s a coincidence.  _ Because if it wasn’t she really didn’t want to consider the implication.

As their friends looked on the two battlers circled the ball, the Unifier turning to Rechte. “How do you want to do this? There’s too many of them to just cut them all up!” 

Rechte turned, slicing one hand through the wrist and smirking in satisfaction as it dropped, bone exposed, muscle dancing, tendon thrashing. “We’re gonna have to kill it at the center!”

The Unifier shrugged and immediately turned to the target, only to feel herself pulled back by a strong mental force. “Don’t be dumb! You’re gonna get yourself kill-”

She was interrupted when the unthinkable happened: The being of Reason had flown too close to one of the small hands, and it had reached out and yanked her bass right out of her claws. She floated there, too stunned to move as her claws closed around where her most precious of possessions had been only moments ago. When her claws opened again she closed her eyes, took a calming breath, then opened them again with a smile that was all-too-calm. “...Okay then.” 

With no warning she rushed towards the ball of hands. Or, more accurately, the biggest pile of fine white fur she could immediately fine. The Unifier’s eyes widened in alarm. “What the flip are you doing?!”

“Getting my bass back!”

As the group looked on in disbelief Rechte, just as Linke had done, igniting in cobalt flames, laughing in sheer delight as she did so. It took only mere moments before the entirety of the strange creature was engulfed in flames, a monstrous screech somehow escaping it. The Unifier stared in shock, but only for a moment before she flew after her weaker self. “Are you insane?!” As the world around her burned she listened intently for Rechte’s response-

“No, just really, really mad!”

-Before chasing after it. She found her other self just as she was ripping her weapon free from the palm of its kidnapper, but she found something even more alarming in the meantime. “Rechte!” With a deep growl she grabbed the clearly insane vampire by the arm, dragging her out of the inferno just as it collapsed in on itself, turning to ash moments later. It wasn’t until she was in the open air that the Unifier realized she had been heavily burned in the process, but that would have to wait until she was back with the others, where she deposited Rechte. Their elation at their friends’ return was quashed the moment they saw what exactly had made the Unifier panic.

Sticking straight through the dead center of Rechte’s chest was a large, sharp nail. It wasn’t until Rechte was dropped that she realized why everyone was staring at her, but when she looked down she only frowned. “Ah, crud.” 

Finn gawked. “Dude, how are you not ash?!”

She shrugged, but the effort caused her to wince. “Not a stake. That said though… this really does hurt.” 

He gulped. “If we pull it out… can you heal through that?” 

She shrugged again, clearly having not learned her lesson. “Yeah, but… what’s the point?” 

The question was asked so calmly, so logically, that Bonnibel found herself wondering if she sounded just as insufferable when  _ she  _ did that. “What do you mean ‘what’s the poi-’”

The injured half-demon only smirked, turning to look at Jake as best she could as she was laid in the Unifier’s lap. “Hey Jake! Wanna stake a vampire?” 

Now it was the Unifier’s turn to flick her ear. “Are you insane?!” 

Her eyes rolled. “No, just really, really damaged. We both know it’s really hard to heal through this kind of stuff, and you need to gank me so we can go home.”

“But-”

“Man, you’re annoying. I’m tired, I wanna go home, gank me, take my ability, and stop being loud because in case you haven’t noticed I’m bleeding out over here and if you don’t gank me I’ll decapitate myself.”

Rechte never did joke about things like that, and the Unifier and Navigator exchanged a look, knowing she meant it. When the argument dropped Rechte smirked again, turning to the side to cough up the blood pooling from her chest to her throat. “Come on, Jake. I know it’s a dream of yours.” 

Under his fur he paled. “Uh…” Now she was visibly growing annoyed, but before she could berate him the Navigator sighed in resignation. 

“Go ahead, Jake. She’s right, and she seems pretty okay with it.” From below she heard a soft ‘yay’ in her own voice but ignored it. 

When Jake began to remove the piece of death-wood from his fur pocket Rechte smirked in triumph, but dropped it into a smile when she turned to look at the princess. “I know you’re really tired of seeing us get killed, but I’m cool with this. You are too, you just don’t know it yet. You know what to do from here on out, right?” When she was sure she wasn’t looking the younger woman’s eyes flickered to the Unifier, and she nodded. Rechte winked at her. “See? Not so bad. You all got this. Find the wad, get her off of our perfect butt, and let’s go home, kay? Awesome.” She turned her head to address Jake once more, and everyone collectively and silently decided to ignore how quiet her voice was getting, how pale she was becoming, how her eyes were beginning to close. “So here’s how this is going to work. Someone rip this thing out. The moment that happens, Jake stakes me and Our Fearless Leader eats my soulshard. Kay? Cool, let’s go, I’m bored.”

The Unifier flicked her ear once more, but her heart wasn’t in it. She reached for the nail, but was stopped by Finn. He smiled softly at her before turning to his brother, who held the stake over his dying friend, paw shaking. “Ready Jake?” The dog nodded. “One two three go!” Just as Rechte had instructed the boy ripped the nail out of her chest just a moment before Jake’s stake came down and Rechte and her beloved bass fell to ash. With no hesitation the Unifier absorbed the next soulshard, not even bothering to see what ability it would grant her. She already knew, and her heart wasn’t in it in the first place. It never got easier to see herself die, even if Rechte had seemed perfectly at peace with it. The Navigator moved to her, but found another person beat her to it. Someone who, surprisingly enough, the Unifier didn’t pull away from. 

“How do you feel?” 

The vampire sighed, tense but, to everyone’s delight, actually addressing the younger woman. “Marceline wants to go night night.” 

She could hear the smile in Bonnibel’s voice. “Marcy can go night night all she wants later. Okay?” The queen snorted, but didn’t argue.

Jake’s confliction was evident. On the one hand, he had finally fulfilled his apparently-not-secret lifelong dream of staking a vampire. On the other, though, that vampire was his friend, even if she had encouraged the situation. But they had come too far to give up now, and to encourage everyone to progress forward her resumed his large shape, scooping everyone to his back, save for the Navigator. She floated ahead slightly, seemed to glance around, then returned. “We’re almost there. I can sense it.” He narrowed his eyes at her and took a deliberate scan of the area, but there was nothing but desolate wasteland. She was a prankster, but he would have to believe her, and with a nod he continued the journey. The Navigator flew back to the others, noting that although the Unifier had resumed her position of being curled away from the group she wasn’t quite as far as she was before. With an overly-elaborate stretch the Navigator flopped back into Bubblegum’s lap as a tiny bat.

She barely had time to get comfortable when Jake came to a screeching halt, exclaiming loudly as if he had hit something. Both vampires smirked as Finn frowned and the young scientist squinted at them accusingly. When the dog began to shrink without any form of warning the Unifier grabbed Finn by the armpits, dropping him to the ground as the Navigator scooped up the candy golem, holding her even after it was safe to lower her. Bonnibel wasn’t sure if it was out of affection or because Jake was glaring murder at both undead queens and she needed a shield. “You did that on purpose!” 

The Unifier looked baffled, placing her hand over her dead heart. “I’m pretty sure we told you that you’d be there before you knew it. Right Navigator?” 

The other vampire nodded solemnly. “We totes did.” After shooting her lover a look the princess detached herself, cautiously approaching the origin of Jake’s ire. She felt in front of her, hitting a solid wall.

“There’s something here?”

The Navigator shrugged, joining her. “Like we said before. The wad only lets people see what they expect to see. If Unifier and I weren’t here you would have gone right through this and not even known you were passing through her lair. Jake only… found it because we knew it was somewhere around here.” 

There was no need to mention Rechte’s contribution to the cause. “Interesting. How do we get in?”

“Like this.”

Her hand because a grey claw, the talon dragged over the invisible wall. What design she was creating was indecipherable, but something about it filled Bonnibel with nausea. When she glanced over her shoulder she found Finn and Jake in a similar state of discomfort, but just as she made to ask what in the world the vampire was doing she pulled her claw back and returned it to a hand. “There we go.” 

A pink eyebrow raised. “What was that?” 

The Navigator eyed her briefly before returning her gaze to the front. “Demonic. Just signing us in.” Although they saw nothing there was the unmistakable sound of something heavy, something creaky, opening in a way that reminded Finn of a giant door in a dungeon he had explored long ago. While this did nothing for his discomfort his guide looked almost bored, drumming her fingers against her thigh. When the groaning ended in a heavy bang she exhaled. “Finally. Alright dinks, all in.” With no hesitation the princess followed her vampire inside, Finn and Jake following after being pushed forward by the Unifier. No sooner had they crossed the barrier that they heard the door - if it even was a door- close and they were left to gawk at their newest location.

“...Dude, look at the buildings.”

If the desolate wasteland was strange this was even stranger. Just as in the desolate wasteland the streets were composed of the black, red-tinted faux cobblestone. Yet this was not a desolate wasteland. There were buildings, actual buildings, of an ancient architectural style none of the outsiders had ever seen before. They too were black, but not made of the same material as the cobblestone ground. Instead, they were smooth, almost shiny, the material something both familiar and foreign. They were large, all of them, and oh there were a lot of them. They flanked the cobblestone street on both sides, imposing beasts of architecture that stretched to the sky, topped by thick, pointed spires.

Unlike the buildings that infested the ruins these structures weren’t touching as a rule, weren’t even close enough to have an alley between them. They were also not of uniform size some squat and some tall, some wide and some thin. While the buildings within the ruins were rather uniform these differentiated starkly, ready to be used for whatever unique purpose they had been constructed for. Some Jake recognized; he could have sworn one of the buildings was vaguely barn-shaped, and another could be a large and rather fine house, were it not so very creepy. In between some of the larger buildings there even existed massive bridges, though these were made of the ground material, rather than the metal-like ones consistent within the buildings. The bridges extended to the ground, almost cemented to the floor to provide increased support, as if something of massive weight often walked across it. Lining these bridges were large spikes, shiny and black, though at a distance it was impossible to say what exactly they were made of.

As Jake eyed the bridges Bonnibel continued to scan the buildings themselves, because the only word she could think of to describe them was ‘foreboding’, as if the very presence of the outsiders filled the inanimate objects with animosity. Something else was off about them, something she couldn’t put her finger on, until Finn pointed at a particularly tall one. “P-bubs, look. The windows…” She followed his gesture and realized what he meant, kicking herself silently for not seeing it before because, in another startling deviation from the rest of Marceline’s mind, there were  _ actual windows _ , all intact. Most were dark, but some were lighted by what the soft glow suggested were candles; these windows were evidently made of stained glass, something she’d recognize anywhere from her own mural in her throne room. Rather than warm her spirit, however, these displays chilled her, and she found herself drifting closer to whichever vampire was nearest.

When she felt a cool hand lace her fingers she sighed, then continued her visual inspection. She hadn’t noticed it before, but the buildings weren’t the only aspects of interest. Every few feet, lining the street the group found themselves on, were tall structures that looked to be made of iron. They were thin but elaborate, the pole composed of three separate pieces with a flourish of a base, topped by a strange design she had seen somewhere before. With a frown she realized that it was a circle of eight arrows, each pointed in a different direction, identical to the design on Finn’s demon blood sword crossguard. On each side of the design appeared to be two hanging lamps, a curious choice of decoration given that this new area was in no way dark, brightened by a red sky.

Separating the street from these posts - and the buildings themselves now that Bonnibel thought about it - was a long fence that looked to be made of wrought iron. Every few meters it was interrupted by what looked like cobblestone posts, occasionally with a lock as if they were meant to open at some point. No part of her wanted to open them; she could take the hint that it wasn’t an action any of them were meant to undertake. Tracing it did confirm for her that it was otherwise unbroken and surprisingly sturdy looking, with no traces of rust or corrosion. Like the bridge, this fence was also tipped by pikes that looked sharp. No part of her wanted to know how sharp. With a slight shake of her head she turned to whichever vampire she had attached herself to. Unsurprisingly, it was the Navigator. “Where do we go from here?” 

The Navigator pointed down, and following her finger showed why: the flourish trail was still growing, leading them down a very specific path. “That way. It’ll bring us right to her front door.” She sounded less than thrilled with that notion, but Bubblegum could hardly blame her. “Alright, Dork Brigade. If you’re done sightseeing let’s go.” They weren’t, but it could wait.

With the Navigator leading and the Unifier bringing up the rear the group of outsiders found themselves following the trail. Finn glanced behind him, eyeing the Unifier. She was too tense; her eyes were slitted, her bass was drawn, and she was scanning the area a little too intently. “You alright, Marce?” 

That seemed to snap her out of it, and she blinked, shaking her head as her eyes dilated. “Oh, right. Sorry. Yeah, I’m cool. Just… adjusting.” He nodded, then paused, not sure if the question he had been debating was something one should ask. Like most things he did, though, Finn just went with it. 

“Hey, I was curious. When you saved me from Linke Rechte said that it was the closest you could come to bloodlusting, and when you were fighting that monster you did the same thing. Can you not…?” She flinched and he immediately regretted the question he now realized may have been insensitive. 

The response came from the front of the pack. “She can’t.” It was so matter-of-fact that Finn was startled. 

“Wait, what?”  _ Marce can’t bloodlust? But she loves-  _

The Navigator smiled at him sadly. “None of us can. Not really, anyway. We can get close, but we can’t do it.” 

The princess grimaced, glancing over her shoulder at the Unifier while still talking to the Navigator. “Only the Usurper?” 

To her surprise, the half-demon shook her head. “Nope. Not even her, but she can get mondo close.” The air grew tense and morose as the Unifier visibly bit her cheek. Realizing she had an audience she turned to glare at Bubblegum as if challenging her. To her shock the young scientist only smiled a soft admonishment. The air around them grew strained as the silence of this new world began to grate not only on the vampires, but Bonnibel herself. It was just too bizarre. Ignoring the tense atmosphere Finn found something to smile about.

“It’s hard to believe we’re finally gonna meet the last Marce!” Despite the gravity of the situation Finn couldn’t stop grinning. Sure, this last version of his friend was a ‘Baddie’, and no one had anything nice to say about her, but he was optimistic, almost painfully so.  _ She never leaves her turf, so there’s no way she wants to fight. We can totes convince her to help us out!  _ To the boy it looked like the end was in sight.  _ Just a few more to go and the Unifier’ll go back to being plain old ‘Marceline’. She even already agreed to come home! Sure, she’s probably gonna have a harsh readjustment, but that’s what she’s got us for!  _ It took effort, but Finn managed to ignore ‘The Bubblegum Problem’ in favor of happier thoughts. He told himself it was because it wasn’t his business, but he knew the truth. He knew he couldn’t stand the thought of his two best ladybros going the rest of forever not talking anymore, of no more movie nights or group adventures. But it was neither the time nor the place to dwell on that. Or even acknowledge it existed. Thanks to denial, Finn knew that everything would be fine.

The Navigator gave him a look over her shoulder, as if she were trying to let him down gently. If Marceline did that kind of thing. “Don’t celebrate too soon, Finn. You’ve never met the wad. You don’t know what she’s like.” There was an undertow of caution in that ominous assertion, which Finn deftly ignored. 

“What’s she like, anyway?” 

The Navigator frowned at that question, the conflict easy to read. Although Finn had spent the bulk of his ‘Marceline Quality Time’ with the Unifier he had spent enough time in the Navigator’s company to pick up on subtle differences between the two. The former was a much better liar, whereas the latter was more inclined to dodge questions and hide.  _ She does like being invisible, though…  _ He knew that at that very moment she was trying to determine exactly how much - and what - to say.  

“She’s really… uh… I don’t know the word.” She scratched her chin in ponderance. “Like… she doesn’t really care about other people, you know?”

“Like the Usurper?”

She shook her head. “Nah. It’s more like… she’s just a hard person. I think she made a joke once that she cut out her own heart ‘cause it was getting in the way, but knowing her she may have actually been literal. The Usurper wants to burn the world down. The wad does stuff like lie by omission, or that thing where it’s like ‘I never said that, I just implied it’. You can’t really predict what she’s thinking, she’s mega arrogant, and she’s mondo observant, so she’ll use that to stab at people. One time I told her that she knew how to twist the knife. Her response? ‘I  _ am  _ the knife’.” Finn and Jake exchanged a look, trying to rationalize this description within the context of Marceline, whose greatest crimes - as far they knew anyway - were largely prank-related.

Bonnibel sighed deeply, noting a moment too late that the noise had put the Unifier on edge. There was no time to puzzle that one though; the Navigator had actually answered a question and the princess was going to make the most of that. “So a part of you is callous, narcissistic, duplicitous, capricious, and trenchant. And this part of you is large enough to be considered a Big Baddie.” The Navigator grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck.  _ What else have you been hiding, Marceline? Did you even know what you were capable of?  _ The young scientist was beginning to doubt that her mate was even aware of her own capacities, that this wasn’t a matter of hiding who she really was from Bubblegum, but from herself. Deep down she felt a twinge of guilt about how accusatory she had been in blaming Marceline for being willfully difficult about her hiding, tried to shove the twinge away, then remembered that she was  _ supposed  _ to be feeling that kind of thing. The facts remained, however. 

Whole Marceline certainly never seemed the type to back-stab or be pedantic, and it was almost impossible for the young scientist to imagine her imp of a lover as being a narcissist. Yes, she was often sarcastic and was mercurial even in the best of times, but she had never shown the propensity to use emotional or mental weaknesses offensively and she pointedly rejected the tedium inherent in learning about them in the first place. She was rarely serious at all, except, or course, in a state of bloodlust, and those were guided by different rules entirely. But if the Navigator and Unifier were to be believed then not only was part of her queen willing and able to engage in such behaviors this part was big and powerful.  _ What part of her could possibly manifest in this manner? What haven’t we seen of her yet? _

But Bubblegum was taking too long to respond, and the Navigator’s nervousness was beginning to evolve into something darker. With a gentle smile she took her vampire’s cool in her own. “Don’t worry, Marcy. It’s not your fault.” Through a small miracle she caught the Unifier’s wary eye. “It’s  _ neither  _ of your fault. She’s still you. We can find some solution. It’s not hopeless. You and I… we’ve always been the underdogs, and we always pull through. Like that one time, you remember? The case of-” 

The Unifier snorted dismissively, turning away from her as she lounged in the air. When she spoke it was softly, not at all befitting the aggressive gesture. “You don’t get it. You can’t get it.” 

The younger woman took a deep breath, paused to consider the claim, then exhaled. The smile returned. “Maybe. But I’m still going to try.” Though she said nothing the Unifier watched her estranged-mate carefully, as if trying to break down what exactly was happening. Not wanting to give her the chance to turn it into a fight Bonnibel turned back to the Navigator, who failed to quench her grin before being caught. Bubblegum raised an eyebrow, but chose to ignore her wordless taunting of her counterpart.

“Hey, wait. Does  _ she  _ have a name, or is she just ‘wad’?”

Bonnibel stopped at Jake’s question, noting the dual wince from both half-demons. A guilty sign if there ever was one. “That’s a good question. Does she have a name? The rest of you are named after some function you-” Then she stopped. Both musicians were watching one another carefully, a silent conversation even Bubblegum’s brilliant mind couldn’t decipher. Whatever it was, it looked both charged and something else, something that unsettled her. She hated seeing Marceline look so serious; except for Rechte it never meant anything good, especially when such an expression was worn by the ever-playful Navigator. When the Unifier nodded her chin back to the outsiders the Navigator frowned and turned back to the rest of the group, the conversation evidently concluded. She almost opened her mouth thought better of it, then seemed to consider the question more heavily than it warranted. When she spoke it was labored, reminding the princess of the time she had to de-mine part of the Grasslands and one wrong toe could blow her to pieces.

“She has a name, yeah. But… we can’t say it.”

Jake tilted his head. “Maybe you’re not using your lips right?” 

And suddenly the playful look was back, but far dirtier and before the Navigator could say something truly distasteful Bonnibel redirected the attention to the Unifier. A gamble for certain, but far better than the alternative. “Why can’t you say it, Marcy?” 

The good news was that, after considerable delay, the Unifier responded. The bad news was that she was still unwilling to look at the younger woman. “Before Arbitrator made a rule against trading with the wad we all did it a few times. She knows how to do stuff and get things, and especially in the way old old days we missed things from Ooo. We didn’t really remember it, but…” 

She trailed off and was saved by Finn, who sounded bewildered. “So like… she didn’t want you to say her name? That’s… wonky.” 

The Unifier nodded. “It was the first thing she wanted from us, for whatever dumb reason. Can’t say her name. We can talk about her, and call her something else, but not her name, and we never really figured out what she actually is.”

“So… why do you call her a wad?”

“Because she  _ is  _ a wad. Trust me, when you meet her-”

The Navigator’s eyes widened. “When they meet her.” 

It took the Unifier a moment to catch on to her sudden concern, but once she did her own eyes widened. “...Figs.” She turned to Finn, her voice suddenly firm. It wasn’t something the boy was used to hearing from her. Directed at him anyway. “Finn, keep your sword ready. All the time. For realz.”

“...Why?”

“When it happens you’ll know,” the Navigator mumbled. It was good enough for Finn; if you couldn’t accept annoying vagueness from your friends who could you accept it from? 

“I don’t think I can pull a sword on a friend, Marce.” 

She sighed deeply, suddenly sounding as weary as her age. “She’s not your friend, Finn. She might look like us, but she’s not your friend. Usurper’s not your friend. None of the Baddies-”

“Tyrant was.” The Navigator’s jaw clamped shut. The memory of holding Bonnibel as she sobbed in agony was too fresh for her to reply with any level of vitriol. In fact, any reply she may have had got caught in her throat when she turned to the candy golem. She had turned somber, a pink hand clutching a sleeve as she looked off in the direction they came from. She had spoken so softly, so forlorn, it was absolutely out of the question to argue with her on this one. Bubblegum possessing - let alone expressing - emotion wasn’t a situation she was accustomed to, but she wanted to be, and she was happy to bow out of this argument if it encouraged her. Yet what happened behind her was even more curious; the moment the princess had turned melancholy the Unifier had twitched, as if one part of her loudly demanded she go comfort her probably-mate while another pointedly refused to let her. A quick sidelong glance confirmed for the Navigator that both Finn and Jake had caught it as well, and were now witness to something Bubblegum was not: the Unifier was watching her with obvious concern. And confliction. A stark departure from her typical ire and instigating.

The trio collectively had the good tact to not point any of this out to either of them, but each felt a small spark of hope.

The Navigator smiled softly, landing next to her princess. “Yeah. Maybe Tyrant was.” 

That admission was enough to allow Bonnibel to regain her composure. “Yes. Besides, we’re reaching the end, and while we cannot afford to become complicit we equally cannot afford to assume she will ally herself with us simply out of the goodness of her heart. With any luck we’ll reach her before she’s aware we’re here, which will strengthen our position. The key to dealing with any adversary is surprise. Something they wouldn’t expect.” 

The Unifier snorted. Any and all trace of the sympathy she seemed crushed under moments ago had been wiped clean. “Nothing happens in the wad’s lair without her knowing about it. There’s no way she doesn’t know we’re here.” Finn scanned the desolate streets. No wad, no monsters, no thing. That put him on edge. It was a classic bad guy move to make the good guys think they were safe and snug in their journey, only to jump out at them.  _ Unless she knows we’re on to her. Then she’d want to keep the streets clear, just to mess with us. Or she doesn’t think we’re important enough to put out a defense of something. Hey, speaking of defense- _

“Dude, I think she knows we’re here.”

His important question was forgotten when he walked straight into his brother. Somehow the boy had been so wrapped up in his analysis of their surroundings that he had entirely missed the group come to a dead halt, hadn’t noticed both of his undead ladybros land with equally hard looks in their eyes. Before them stood a building, far larger and even more imposing than any of the others. It looked to be carved straight from whatever metal the rest were made of, both sleek and rugged in yet another conundrum. This one appeared to have no windows, but, unlike the rest of the buildings, the top seemed to have a large balcony wrapped around the south side. It was difficult to judge its size from their vantage point, but Finn was sure that Jake even at his largest would be able to stand on it with no problem. Unlike the other buildings, which seemed to almost always be topped by steeples or yet more spikes this one’s top just cut off abruptly and looked to be perfectly flat.

But the building wasn’t why they stopped.

Before the building stood a black gate, proud and made of wrought iron. The bars were thick, Finn’s flesh hand barely being able to wrap around the nearest one, and they weren’t spaced far apart, definitely less than half a meter, but then he wasn’t Bubblegum and that was just a guess. They were cold, almost biting, and he withdrew his hand with a shake. He looked left, he looked right, but it was hard to know where the gate began and ended. It seemed endless, flawless, and foreboding. The tops were spiked. Not the type of spikes from the chain-link fence, either; they were at least half a meter tall, and the points were so sharp he couldn’t even begin to see the tips.

It was what was hanging from the tips that caused his blood to run cold.

It was a massive burlap sign. The boy couldn’t even begin to guess how large it was, but the size wasn’t what caused his jaw to clench or his eyes to narrow. Next to him he could feel Jake bristle, and Bubblegum’s expression was tight. It was difficult to gather what the vampires were thinking, but whatever it was turned their expressions stoic and their eyes cold. It was the six accompanying green and red balloons that did it for Jake, the bright blocky letters that did it for Finn.

**WE** **LC** **OM** **E H** **ER** **OE** **S!**

Below the happy greeting were five drawings, more childish scribbles than anything else, unmistakably crude caricatures of them. The first was unmistakably Bubblegum; the comically bright pink dress seemed to take up the bulk of her character, and her crown was ludicrously oversized, so much so that the drawing’s head was weighed down, forcing her position into a bow. The crown had been inverted; now the pike did not stick up proudly, but rather turned downward, stabbing its bearer. The tiara itself was barbed now, crushing the small figure; the artist had even seen fit to draw tiny trails of syrupy blood. It reminded Finn of a vice. Especially the part where the princess-figure lacked hands. And eyes. It made him sick to look at, actually, but if the real Bonnibel was experiencing the same reaction she was doing an admirable job hiding it.  _ Though I guess Peebo is good at stuff like that.  _ Her expression was terse, but unreadable. He looked away at his brother’s huff, following his gaze to the dog’s figure.

This Jake’s fur color was surprisingly similar to the real Jake’s. However, his form was bloated and grotesque, bulbous in the limbs and tumorous in the torso. His tongue lolled out of his mouth, his eyes blank and without pupil. Empty snacks wrappers and canisters decorated the ground around him. Under his massive form he saw something poking out, something rainbow, and realized with a lurch that he’d know that particular rainbow coloration and yellow tail anywhere; Drawing Jake was crushing Lady Rainicorn. He heard Jake’s knuckles crack, thought he heard one of the Marcelines murmur, “don’t let her bait you,” but he had found his own drawing and that was where his focus was turned, only to be turned away quickly. This Finn was larger than the real Finn, all muscle; it was easy to see by his puffed chest and where to weight sat in his arms. He was clearly older, as indicated by his finely groomed beard. The artist even included his bear hat. Which was a nice touch, because the rest of him was stark naked, and it was not a flattering approximation. He choked out a cough, blushed furiously, and turned away. “No one look at the sign me!”

But no one was. They were looking now at the last two drawings, because these two were even more detailed, and they featured two grey-skinned, feminine humanoids. Both were dressed identically in what looked like a flannel shirt, black pants, and grey shoes. More importantly, however, was that one was stabbing a stake into the heart of the other. The assaulter looked like they were supposed to be crying, while the victim seemed almost impassive. Or was that relieved? Even with the increased quality in the illustrations it was hard to tell between their facial expressions. It didn’t matter though, the message was received clearly.

“She’s taunting us.”

The Navigator nodded, tense. “Like I said, Bon. She’s not our friend.” When her mate fell silent the Navigator took a deep breath and approached the gate.   
  
“Wait.”

She glanced over her shoulder at the Unifier, eyebrow raised. “Yeah?”

“Could be a trap. Knowing her.”

The Navigator considered that, then shook her head. “Nah. She wants us to find her. She just wants to demoralize us first. Make us easier to mess with.” 

That seemed good enough for the Unifier, who left the gate to the Navigator. Instead she turned, whistling to draw Jake and Finn back to her. “Alright dorks,” she started. “Once Navigator gets the gate open we’ll be going inside. As soon as we get in there we’re gonna be at her actual Gate. Her’s is a lot more subtle than the Thorn Gate or the fence. Just…” she stopped, suddenly looking pained. She pushed it back, but was sure everyone had already seen. “Just don’t read the walls.” Normally that would, of course, spur a whole conversation about such a cryptic warning, but this was different. Being taunted in the form of crude drawings wasn’t particularly upsetting to the three outsiders. But it had reminded them of a great truth, something that everyone had known but couldn’t bring themselves to talk about because it was too terrible, too real: The Navigator had to die, and one of them would have to kill her. Logically they knew that eventually their friend and protector would have to bite it, but it was so easy to ignore finalities such as that when you have a big long adventure ahead of you. But she was doomed, and they had to look at that hideous truth in all its glory.

As the trio looked on the Navigator floated around the arched entryway as if searching for something. She lifted the sign, looked behind it, searched the ground, tapped the bars, and a number of other odd gestures. When they all ended in vain she turned to the Unifier. “No key.” 

The Unifier scowled. “Of course. Of course she took the key. Why the flip wouldn’t she?” 

Rhetorical questions appeared commonplace. “You want us to go look for it? Her lair is pretty big-” 

The Unifier’s expression darkened. “No. We’re breaking it down.” 

The Navigator’s eyes widened. “Dude, are you sure? She’s probably not going to like that.” 

But her counterpart wasn’t looking, her hands already grasping the two longest bars, wincing at the sting of the metal. “I don’t give a lump would she likes. We’re doing this!,” she barked. The Navigator blinked and turned to the three foreigners with a look that clearly read, ‘did you just see that?’. Finn nodded slowly, Jake shrugged, and Bonnibel didn’t seem to be paying attention. Her focus was monopolized by the Unifier as she put in every diplomatic effort to appear stoic.  _ Stay calm, Marcy. We need you. I need you.  _ The last thing they needed right now was for Marceline - either of them - to lose her temper when they were so close to their goal. Knowing her she’d try to level the place, and while Bubblegum typically appreciated her more passionate side now was not the time for wanton destruction. Fortunately, the Navigator was more than happy to act as her saving grace. 

“Well, you’re the Fearless Leader. Where do you want me?” 

The Unifier removed a hand from the left bar and nodded to it. “There. We’re gonna tear this thing open.” The Navigator nodded, taking her assigned position. 

“Rock. On three, guy?” The Unifier nodded, clasping the metal tightly. The Navigator followed suit, wearing an identical wince to the biting metal. 

“Let’s do this. Ein.”

“Zwei.”

“Drei!”

On the Navigator’s count both half-demons pulled at their assigned locations. The metal groaned loudly, the bottoms scraping against the hard ground, its grinding forcing the two mortals and one effective-immortal to cover their ears. It all seemed to go so slowly; the gate’s deep moan was turning into a high-pitched squeal as the metal began to give way under the enormous combined strength of both queens. It was just so arduous; the screeching against the ground, the bending of the metal, the frustrated hissing of the musicians. Jake was sure his ears were bleeding, and Finn could feel every nerve in his teeth. Both yearned to help, do something, anything to end the cacophony of torture, but if even Marceline was having trouble what aid could they possibly offer? It was a stark reminder of their own mortal weakness, but it ran deeper than that for Bonnibel.

Marceline’s vampirism meant she was immortal. It had been something the princess knew she took for granted; short of well-placed silver, decapitation, a stake to the heart, and the sun itself Marceline had always seemed so invincible to her. Marceline was the last vampire, a creature impossible to contain, at least for long; she knew, she tried. The half-demon was prone to disappearing at the drop of a hat, and good look finding her when she did. Yet she always came back, at least to Bubblegum. It may take days or even weeks, but she always came back, just like a pesky cat. Or a bat, as the case may be. When they had first become acquainted, back when Bonnibel had only begun to deny her infatuation for the mischievous singer, she had somehow convinced her to be a willing test subject. She needed to know just how resilient she was. How much she could trust her to actually return.

It was hard for her not to smile fondly at the memory. Centuries later she would realize that Marceline’s compliance was actually an act of affection that was in no way platonic, but at the time the princess had been too oblivious to realize that the vampire liked her as more than just a friend, a fact the older woman still teased her about to the present day. She was smitten, and it was only because of that squishy emotion that she allowed herself to be an experiment, because Bonnibel Bubblegum was all about experiments, and her giant brain needed to know the extent of her future-mate’s fortitude. At times it got quite ugly; acid was involved in one of the last experiments before even Bubblegum realized she may be going a tad too far. She found that as time went on, as she ‘got older’, Marceline only got stronger and faster. She had broken down a hydraulic, electrified door three feet thick and literally eaten the soul of the Vampire King himself when all of Ooo’s efforts to stop it proved futile. Evidently she could be caught on fire, even use it as a weapon. She had torn creatures many times her size in half and Bonnibel had personally witnessed her single-handedly wipe out an army.

The candy golem’s smile faded. In front of her two Marcelines were struggling to break down a wrought iron gate, an edifice that wasn’t even lined with silver to weaken them. They were making progress, that was true, but it was slow, and it was only in that moment Bonnibel realized Marceline  _ wasn’t  _ invincible. Something about watching her struggle with something that should be so simple triggered something deep within her and she swallowed hard once more. Yes, they were within her own mind where the laws of physics were null and void, but the awareness was no less accurate, and only now was it hitting her with immense force. The older woman had been knocked unconscious by a giant boulder when the two had been fighting off a hoard of varmints, and she had gotten sick from eating the red from expired cocktail sauce. She could reattach a limb, but only if they found it, and possessed moderate-to-severe sedatephobia. A pink hand clenched as its owner’s overractive brain tried to wrap around the fact that her lover may not be mortal, but she was not invincible, a fact she knew logically but was only now beginning to register in her squat heartguts. The realization came coupled with a new thought, one that surprised even her. Her conversation with the Unifier, and the reminder of when she almost lost her to venom, were still fresh in her mind.  _ I need to protect her. Not just here, in this specific situation. When we return to Ooo as well, and even after she recovers. If she- _

The princess’s mental train was derailed by Finn’s overzealous cheer and she frowned.  _ Thanks a lot, Finn.  _ Still, it was hard to be truly irritated with him; the gate had finally been torn open, both queens wearing the same lopsided grin as they high-fived, despite their obvious fatigue. The young scientist came within an inch of offering to carry Marceline as a little bat while she recovered, but realized the flaw in her clever plan just before: the Navigator could be whatever she wanted, but the Unifier was incapable of shape-shifting, a trait that she would undoubtedly absorb from the Usurper, if the Navigator’s amazing stealth was any indicator of what ability she would gift. Regardless, she wouldn’t show favoritism, even if it was something so inconsequential.

In the back of her mind she wondered if Rechte would be proud of that mental development.

“Yo! Rockstar to brainlord! You in there, Bonnie?” 

At first even Bubblegum wasn’t sure, but eventually decided that, yes, she was, and nodded to emphasize this fact. “Oh. Sorry, Marcy. What did you say?” 

The Navigator hooked her thumb to the mangled entranceway. “Unifier and I got it open. You ready?” 

Now her smile was softer, something reserved exclusively for her princess, as so much of her was. The younger monarch mirrored the expression, then trailed after the rest of the group. “Very. Let’s do this.” Behind her the Navigator grinned and followed, coming to a stop behind the Unifier and mere mortals. Before them stood what could only be described as a dark maw. It was impossible to see into it, making it even more foreboding; it reminded Finn of the entrance to the Cave House, and for a moment he meant to ask if sound was also absorbed through it before thinking better of it. The princess was fond of saying that one should not ask questions one doesn’t want to know the answer to, and there was no way an answer to that question could be comforting.

The Navigator floated in front of Bonnibel in what the latter recognized now as a protective gesture, one mirrored by the Unifier before Finn and Jake, something most likely one they weren’t even aware they were engaging in. It was something the princess had always attributed to her half-demon heritage; Marceline could be oddly simple-minded at times, almost primal, especially when it came to baser instincts like defending turf and fighting off threats, something that made a lot more sense now that she had met Linke. They were aspects of her that could not be reasoned with because they were beyond reason, often purely unconscious or reflexive. That had been a learning curve for Bubblegum; it had taken great effort on both of their parts for the young scientist to realize that this part of her mate didn’t need to be analyzed, only accepted. 

Of course, negative situations weren’t the only things that mindset was triggered by. There were other things as well, things that had Bubblegum flushing and helpless to stop the barrage of unwelcomed images. Well, unwelcomed in this context. Any other context, say, in the privacy of-  _ Not now, Bubblegum. Stop that. This is hardly the time for such distasteful thoughts.  _ Regardless, it was what she had always attributed her mate’s bloodlust state to and it was impossible to reason with. It was better just to stay behind the Navigator and not contest it; she would just be repositioned anyway, and it was important to pick battles carefully in life. Ahead of her it looked like Finn and Jake had also conceded, if not for very different reasons.

“You ready, Fearless Leader?” The Unifier nodded absently, then sighed wearily. “Alright. Like I said. Don’t read the walls. Don’t even look at the walls. There’s nothing good there. It’ll just be a long hallway. When we get to the end just follow our lead, and when we get through the last door… well, just don’t talk. Like. At all. Not a peep. Got it?” Despite the question the Unifier wasn’t listening to any answer, she was already crossing the threshold. With no more guidance three pairs of eyes turned to the Navigator, who gave a half-hearted shrug as if to say, ‘that rascal, but hey, what are you gonna do?’. 

“Come on, Dork Brigade. Let’s get this over with so we can go home.” She took Bonnibel’s hand before motioning for Finn and Jake to follow. When the two royals crossed with no problems Finn jogged into it, Jake not far behind because if there was one thing the elder brother didn’t want right now, it was being cut off from his friends in the over-the-top creepy lair.

Just as the Unifier had claimed the group found themselves in front of a long hallway, the floor the same red-tint as the ground outside the entrance and was just as hard. Running along the ground in the center was a carpet, a soft royal purple rug with gold tassels lining the sides. It reminded Jake of the carpet that run through the false-Candy Kingdom castle, though this one was in considerably better condition, with no stains or fraying anywhere. In fact, it looked new. He looked directly up. Unlike the ground the ceiling was made of a deep black material that looked seamless and smooth. It was a material he didn’t recognize but was certain he saw somewhere before. He thought hard on that one, thought he had it for a moment, then it was gone and so was his attention for it. Looking at it too long made him dizzy, so he righted himself in time to see both of his vampire friends begin to make their way down the obnoxiously long hallway.

The first thing everyone else did was read the walls.

Well, more accurately, they first looked at the walls. The hallway’s corridor was flanked on both sides by large bronze plaques, shiny and polished as if lovingly cared for. They were all uniform in size, a meter tall and perhaps a meter and a half wide. Maybe more, it was hard to tell for sure, even for Bonnibel. The only thing a cursory glance around the corridor revealed was that there were seven of these smaller plaques, with three larger ones down at the very end. It was hard to resist reading them; the dark material of the walls - the same as the ceiling - made the bright metal stand out, easily catching the attention of the three outsiders. To make matters worse, both Finn and Jake were of the opinion that making them so mysterious only made them more alluring, whereas Bubblegum was, quite simply, all about reading. What she read on the first plaque was confusing and, for reasons she didn’t quite understand, unsettling.

**Navigator**

 

Your heart is heavy and bleeds at the slightest provocation

 

“What is this?”

Both vampires whipped their heads to the group. “HEY!” The Unifier moved between Bonnibel and the plaque, separating them. “What the flip did we just say?!” The Unifier’s anger was nothing new, but this time it seemed… off. The strain in her voice was too worn, and her eyes glinted with something besides rage. Bonnibel looked into them closely, startling her wayward mate.  _ Is she… worried?  _

Across the width of the rug, Finn was pointing at the wall. “There’s another one here!” As curious as the Unifier’s reaction was the wall was even more curious, and the princess found herself drawn to the other side. This time, though, the name listed was crossed out, which bothered her even more.

~~**Rechte** ~~

 

Your fangs are strong, your claws are sharp, and your morality makes a fine muzzle

 

Now it was the Navigator’s turn to pull their friends away, her blocking the left-hand wall while the Unifier took the right. “Dude… what is all that?” 

The Navigator’s expression became uncommonly serious, and she glanced at the Unifier for what Finn thought was approval before she’d answer his question. Evidently she got it, but it did nothing to improve her look. “She’s making fun of us. That’s what this is.” 

Jake tilted his head, trying to maneuver an eye around the Navigator, only to have it roughly shoved back. “Ow…,” he whined, rubbing his eye. 

Finn looked to his brother, then back to the Navigator. “But… why can’t we read it?” 

Now it was the Unifier’s turn to snap, “Oh, I don’t know, Finn. Maybe because she’s revealing deep, personal weaknesses of ours and we don’t like our secrets exposed?!” 

The boy shrank into himself. “Well… I mean…” 

That did nothing to help him. “It’s a Gate, Finn! We told you not to read them!” Finn glanced towards the Navigator, but she only looked on forlorn. With a frown Bonnibel turned back to the Navigator’s plaque, suddenly feeling as though she was revealing something very personal about Whole Marceline herself.  _ These may all be secrets about them as individuals, but they’re all collectively one person. Each of these are not only vulnerabilities but things Marceline considers weakness and... thus locked them away. _

She turned back to the group. “This Gate isn’t meant to hurt us. It’s meant to hurt you, isn’t it?” The Unifier’s glare was less full of range and more laced with pain and the princess knew she was right. Mustering as much love and sincerity as she could, she smiled, speaking softly. “Marcy… please let us read them.”

“No flippin’ way.” If the request had been a limb she would have bitten it off.

Bonnibel had expected that and it did nothing to deter her. “I-”  _ don’t say know, this isn’t about you _ “-can only imagine what it must be like to have your vulnerabilities on display like an art exhibit. Against your will you’ve both been forced to reveal more about yourself than you would ever consent to under normal circumstance.” She considered her next sentence very carefully. “We’re not a threat, Marcy. We’re your friends. We’re not-”  _ don’t say ‘going to hurt you’ because that ship has sailed, hasn’t it Bubblegum?  _ “-going to use them against you. But they may help us get you home, and they can give us insight as to help you recover when we get there.” 

Finn quickly picked up the role of support and grinned. “Yeah, Marcelines! We’re your bros.” He patted his chest twice with his fist, holding up his metal palm. “I solemnly swear not to use anything against you, m’ladies.” Both vampires exchanged a look, but it wasn’t anything reassuring. 

Jake smiled. “Dudes, if I didn’t say anything about what went on in the Thorn Gate you think I’m gonna do anything with this?” The Navigator raised an eyebrow at the Unifier, an obvious ‘he has a point’ if there ever was one. 

The Unifier glared at her, then spoke through clenched teeth. “Fine. Whatevs.” She turned, proceeding down the hall as the outsiders, wearing identical smiles, returned to the spectacle.

Predictably, they found Linke’s plaque right next to its twin’s, also struck through. It appeared that any aspect of Marceline that had been eliminated featured a cross through their names.   
  


~~**Linke** ~~

 

The expression ‘no man is an island’ wasn’t meant to be taken as a challenge   
  


As Jake pondered that one he heard his brother make a sound, the same sound he would make when he was younger and trying his hardest to express a solemn emotion. When he saw whose plaque it was he understood why.   
  


~~**Arbitrator** ~~

 

Self-deception is the sincerest form of flattery   
  


As Jake patted his back the young champion sighed.  _ Just because she wanted you all to get along she was…? Just ‘cause she thought you could be better than wailing on each other? And now-  _ He was snapped out of his thoughts by a quiet, feminine voice from across the width. “Guys, what color was Tyrant’s flame?” It was asked with urgency, and Jake responded quickly. He knew that sound. 

“Green. Why?” 

She froze and he stretched over to see why.   
  


~~**Tyrant** ~~

 

Your fire may match her eyes, but she’s only ever looked at you like you’re something she owns   
  


Jake slank back to give her space, but she didn’t seem to register his departure. Instead she read the plaque again. Then a second and third time. But none of it helped her normally analytical brain break the statement down into anything she could look at with its normal clinical detachment. She found she had no idea how to rationalize without it, but knew she needed to learn quickly.  _ My eyes…?  _ With every caution that ever existed the princess turned to the Navigator and Unifier to see if they caught her discovery. Mercifully, both were across and two plaques down, gesturing at whatever was before them. Now the candy golem knew what it meant to truly feel like an invader, why the two had been so adamant that their secrets be left alone.  _ Is that… did I really look at you that way, Marcy? Did I think about you that way?  _ She wanted to deny it, but within the sanctuary of her own mind she knew it was true: until recently part of her - a large part - saw the older woman as property first, lover second, equal third. She looked down at her jacket, fingering the giant cloth ‘M’ with her thumb.  _ That’s how much you loved me. Even your fire was influenced by me. What else have you done for me that I never realized? _

But there was no sense picking herself apart now, and with one last look at the Tyrant’s plate she joined the boys, who had joined the Unifier and Navigator, the former’s lips tight before she stalked off. “Unifier! Wait!” And just like that the Navigator was gone, chasing after her other self. Finn watched them leave, then turned to look at what had upset her.

“...Oh.”   
  


**Unifier**

 

In an impromptu poll you were voted “least likely to succeed”

He turned to go after her, but Jake’s paw on his shoulder stopped him. “Nah, dude. Let them work it out. She already feels exposed. Give her space.” He didn’t like the logic, but that didn’t make it wrong. Before he could argue, though, Jake continued. “Besides, there’s only one left.” And he knew what it was. And where it was. Because the princess was already standing in front of it.

**Usurper**

 

You turn ‘an eye for an eye’ into a terrifying art

“But… the Usurper loves being violent. How’s this making fun of her?” 

Jake shook his head sadly at that and Finn raised an eyebrow. “Bro, remember? One of the first things Arbitrator ever said was that she didn’t want to…” he trailed off, and Bonnibel picked up the slack. 

“She said that not all of Marceline wants to be a monster. The Usurper might love what she does…” 

Now he understood. “Oh yeah. It’s hard to imagine Navigator-"

A snort from down the hall carried enough to interrupt him. “Hey losers! Looks like it’s your turn!”

Bonnibel frowned.  _ That can’t be good.  _ She didn’t need to motion for her gallant champions to follow her, they did a fine job of that on their own. When she stopped she saw why the Unifier had taunted them, but if she didn’t know any better she could have sworn the vampire had apologized for something immediately after they arrived. She didn’t hear, though. She was too engrossed in the portrait before her. It was a scene she remembered clearly. It was the day her estranged family had reemerged in her life, when Marceline saved her from getting juice. The day Finn announced he had come into his stride. His seventeeth birthday.

Before them Finn lay atop the broken pieces of a shattered table. Above him The Greek Knight - Fern - hung his axe above his head, poised to strike down and finally fulfill his dream of destroying the boy hero. Finn even had his own plaque:   
  


**Finn Mertens**

 

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an arm

 

He flinched. It was amazing how much a simple sentence could remind him of how Fern came to be. What he did to Fern. What Fern did to him. He jumped when he felt a cool hand on his shoulder, but wasn’t at all surprised to see who was giving him a weak smile. “Sorry, kid.” 

He responded with his own weak smile, pointedly turning away from his portrait. “Not your fault, Marce.” His voice was hoarse and not his own. He turned away to the next portrait. His brother’s.

This was also a familiar scene, seen through Marceline’s eyes just as Finn’s was. It was in a cabin, the dog aggressively accusing the vampire of a crime she didn’t commit. The day his actions turned a village against her; as an indirect result, had she actually been a vampire at the time she would have been killed. All because he wanted to play ‘bad cop’, not caring about the consequences of his actions until after things got out of hand.

 

**Jake**

 

Having a conscience is important, but maybe you should use someone else’s   
  


The dog winced. “Yeah, I kinda deserve that one.” He turned to both queens, grinning sheepishly. “...Sorry?” 

The Navigator just rolled her eyes. “You’re fine, Jake. It was years ago.” 

The Unifier smirked. “Yeah. We’re good.” Now he was grinning, but it fell when he saw Bonnibel wander away from the group. They knew why: There was only one portrait left, and they followed the princess at a respectable distance before stopped behind to allow her to take her turn, also at a respectable distance.

Neither Finn nor Jake recognized this scene, though if the way the three royals tensed was any indicator they all did, and it wasn’t for a happy reason. This was a scene neither brother recognized, but judging by the way both vampires stiffered they sure did. It looked to be in Marceline’s cave home. The real one. It was always difficult to judge time of day in the cave but Finn thought it might be night, though that was only his gut instinct and he had no concrete reason to think so. Like the first two portraits this one way also from Marceline’s perspective. Her head was turned away, just enough for there to be a hint of a view of her axe, which looked to be covered in blood. But that wasn’t the focus. No, the focus was, of course, on Bubblegum. She was sat on the vampire’s red couch, glaring at her lover with a look of pure displeasure and frustration, face flushed in what may have been exasperation. Judging by the tension in her shoulders this was not a happy conversation, and by the position of Marceline’s head it almost looked like she had flinched. Of the three portraits, this was, by far, the most uncomfortable.   
  


**Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum <3**

 

Marry her if you want, but you’ll never make an honest woman out of her

 

Jake squinted. “Is that a heart?” No one answered him. 

The princess’s expression had gone blank, but she was tense, more tense than a candy golem ever should be. The Navigator began to reach a hand out to her, lost her nerve, then dropped it. The younger monarch’s jaw tensed. “Even ‘the wad’ taunts me for being a liar.” 

Finn scratched his chin, squinting at the plaque and trying his hardest not to look at the picture. “...I don’t think that’s what it’s saying, PB.” She turned to him sharply, and he held up his hands in a gesture of peace. “No, for real. All the other plaques… it was like they were talking  _ to  _ the person they were about. Like the one that called Usurper a monster, and Arbitrator delusional. I don’t think this one’s different. I think it’s talking  _ to  _ you, not about you.” 

She took a sharp breath. “Then who is it talking  _ about _ -”

The room became equal parts silent and awkward.

“...That’s it, I’m killing her.” The Unifier turned, taking the last few feet to the door. It was massive, made of the same black material as the rest of the hallway. It also looked incredibly solid, with no seems to indicate that it even opened, let alone how it opened. The only flaw at all was the door’s own plaque, just as shiny as the others. Unlike the others, however, there was no name, only a statement. A familiar statement.   
  


You’re guilty, but that’s alright, I’m guilty too   
  


That little reminder of Bonnibel’s treason was all it took for the Unifier to feel her temper flare, a deep growl emerging from the back of her throat that was only stopped when the Navigator took the lead from her. “Chill. Let me talk to her, alright?” It most certainly was not alright, and were it up to the Unifier she would prepare to kill her herself. But it wasn’t. They had a group of three misfits to protect, and they needed the wad’s help if they were ever going to kill the Usurper. This situation called for tact, and she had none, at least not like this. After a calming breath the Navigator knocked on the door softly, three times in quick succession. After a moment’s pause there was a soft buzzing noise, followed by static and collective group confusion. Well, except from the Navigator herself, who frowned and spoke loudly, as if it unseen entity. Even she found it difficult to keep the sarcasm from her voice. “Navigator. We don’t have an appointment, but I think you were expecting us anyway.” 

The sound of static was silenced the moment she was done speaking and replaced with a loud mechanical *clank*, as if something heavy just retracted from something heavier. When Finn started to move forward their guide lifted a hand, pausing him. “Chill, guy.” There was a pause, followed by the noise of something metal dragging and scraping against something else metal, then the curious found of something like steam. Bonnibel frowned at the door, tensing.  _ That sounds exactly like my laboratory’s hydraulic door when it unlocks.  _ She didn’t like the implication of that, no not at all. Without warning the door sank through the floor, the top securing itself; if they hadn’t been watching the entry open neither Finn nor Jake would ever believe it had been sealed moments before. As the Navigator stalked into the room, already on the emotional offensive the Unifier followed, bass drawn and on the physical offensive. Bubblegum followed with no hesitation, leaving her gallant champions to trail behind.

There they found the last Marceline, and the third Big Baddie.

Sitting behind a sheer black desk, on a chair that may as well be a sheer black throne, judging by its size; though both seemed to be made of the same material none of the outsiders could tell what exactly it was. Nor did they try, they were too busy gawking at the woman in front of them. Her legs were thrown up on the desk, feet covered by red boots, the pair that clearly read ‘BONNIE’ on the bottom left one, a punishment inflicted long ago that didn’t seem to discourage whatever behavior it had intended to discourage. Her arms rested against her chair, her head nested in her hands. Or, more accurately, grey claws, identical to those used in her favorite bat form. She was smirking at them with all of the arrogance and malice Bonnibel never knew her lover to be capable of possessing. It was almost contemptuous, as if this was all nothing more than a sick joke. The princess wanted to say something - anything to this creature - but she was frozen, just as paralyzed as her mortal friends, eyes wide in despair at what they had found.

“You always did know how to twist the knife.”

The woman chuckled, and lo and behold that was filled with antipathy too. “Nein, mein kleiner, I’ve told you before: I  _ am  _ the knife.” Her voice seemed to drip with narcissistic venom. The Navigator said something else, but whatever it was went unheard by the three, because although it was impossible they knew that suit, that pristine and perfectly kept outfit. They knew that amulet, the catalyst for all of their friend’s misery and the reason they were even engaging in this adventure in the first place. They knew this woman, or at least they knew her in physical form. But that was enough, because they knew enough.

“...You’re ‘the wad’?”

The question was asked so softly only her sensitive ears picked it up. Pinned garnet eyes raked over the outsiders; how such a non-gesture could be made to feel so violating was anyone’s guess, but Jake already had his stake drawn and that futile gesture made her snicker. She lifted herself from her chair, rising to her full height. “Aw, come on guys. Don’t be like that. ‘Wad’ is just so formal, you know?” Without her sitting in it Bonnibel now recognized that chair, or, more accurately, the metallic crimson bat, wings spread to provide the illusion that it was almost claiming the throne it was attached to. “We’re all familiar, right? So don’t call me ‘wad’.” Her gaze settled on Bonnie and she grinned, so very pleased with what she saw in a way that cause the princess’s blood to run cold. She knew what was coming, but it did nothing to soothe her growing panic.

“...Call me Lady Evil.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Wasted:
> 
> Neutral Good (Power Recovered: Telekinesis)
> 
> Neutral Evil (Power Recovered: Pyrokinesis)
> 
> Lawful Neutral (Power Recovered: Healing)
> 
> Lawful Good (Power Recovered: Flight)
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Wasted:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	20. Schadenfreude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real Talk: And we're back! Sorry for the delay, guys. I started working on this whole 'nother bubbline story and it was just super distracting. I think you're gonna like it, though. So, you may have noticed that the chapter count for Rehearsal has changed from 24 to 25. I ended up needing to split this chapter in half. A lot happens, and I really didn't want to cram it all together and make it a jumbled mess. The good news, though, is that you won't have to wait the normal 7 - 10 days for the next chapter to come out! It'll probably be out by Friday or Saturday.
> 
> Related note, wow! You guys really liked who the wad is! I hope you continue to like who the wad is! Because I know I say this a lot, but I write with you guys in mind everytime. My goal is to write a really enjoyable story for you, and everytime I post a chapter I sincerely just hope you guys like it.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Semi-Graphic Violence (Tame for Rehearsal)  
> Mind Games  
> Reveals!  
> A Terrible Joke I've Been Waiting to Make Since Chapter 9

 

It was an indisputable fact, something that could not be contested or denied by any being living, dead, or otherwise, that Bonnibel Bubblegum was and had always been a proud woman. She had never answered to anyone other than herself, even as a child, be it in work or play. She knew she was unrivaled when it came to her intellect and that it was her destiny to one day rule all of Ooo under one tastefully pink banner. There were only a handful of beings older than her, and even they spent most of their time away from the land or in alternate dimensions entirely, so she knew her understanding of the world was greater and more meaningful. She was ageless, allowing her to be effectively immortal and control her physical maturity for whatever was situationally appropriate. 

She could - and had - crush anyone or anything in her way, sometimes with actual crushing, sometimes by turning them into docile simpletons. She possessed intelligence on everyone of importance in Ooo, was a mastery of blackmail, could wield humiliation like a blade, quite adept at unsettling enemies even on their home turf, and kept no one close enough to ever be used against her. She was uncommonly selective of her friends and allies, making sure they knew Just Enough But Nothing More. What she did reveal about herself was carefully selected, the information disseminated only as and when she saw fit and only to who she intended. Everyone and everything was kept at a distance where they couldn’t observe her machinations or get ridiculous ideas like challenging her authority. No one could ever know her darker side, how twisted her moral compass really was. Anyone or anything who dared to tread too close, regardless of intent, was an enemy, plain and simple and would be dealt with as such.

Except, of course, the greatest open secret there ever was. And that open secret had a name: Marceline Abadeer.

Neither Bonnibel nor Marceline ever spoke about their history together, at least publicly. They had known each other for centuries, that was a matter of public record. The vampire had lent her skills in no small amount to helping the younger woman realize her dream of becoming a princess, personally making sure that she succeeded in creating the most powerful kingdom in Ooo. They had been through almost literally everything together but didn’t advertise the fact. Why would they? For their entire lives they had only ever been truly accountable to one another, and that was a bond that transcended such trivialities. There would never be any need or desire to explain how they functioned as a unit: they simply  _ were _ . They were each others’ rocks, and as different as they were their sames went right down the middle, the most important trait of which was their loyalty to one another. 

Marceline’s loyalty meant that it wasn’t within her to turn traitor; the ‘secret’ camera placed in  _ her  _ house was installed for a reason far different than any of the others. A reason much more fun. She had proven time and time again that she would voluntarily risk True Death for her lover, whether or not her lover even wanted it in the first place. Bubblegum’s loyalty meant that the half-demon finally had something she couldn’t destroy or drive off; she had found someone willing to hold her when she fell apart, to kiss and make the pain go away without ever holding her weaknesses over her. Bubblegum knew that she had an ally she could trust without hesitation, and Marceline knew she had a family that loved her for her, that saw more than a monster who moonlighted as Ooo’s most kick-butt punk rocker.

But they hadn’t always thought highly of one another, and though she was loathe to admit it now Bonnibel had spent a very brief amount of time in her younger years assuming Marceline was an idiot.

Not out loud, of course. When she first came to this conclusion the two were already allied: not quite friends, but too close to alienate without repercussions. Which was not to say that Bonnibel  _ didn’t  _ enjoy spending time with the queen, she simply wasn’t sure how a creature over a hundred years her senior could be so… distasteful. She was crude, simple, and unambitious. Or so the candy golem first thought. As she came to spend time with her soon-to-be-mate Bonnibel began to realize that, perhaps, some intelligences could not be measured in charts or diagrams, could not be revealed even with the most high-tech of gadgets, though she did try her hardest. Marceline’s wisdom came from seeing the past repeated over and over again and knowing both how and why. It was in her sharp observancy and her ability to predict any outcome of a given situation - particularly an emotionally or physically charged one - with eerie accuracy. She could get away with doing and saying things Bonnibel would never be capable of because she knew small wisdoms, such as people seeing only what they expect to see and humor being the only reliable way to reveal truths without it ending in mass chaos and violence. She was charming and an invaluable advisor, Bubblegum’s perfect complement and antithesis.

Their greatest clash came regarding the nature of control.

The rockstar had once described life to the younger woman as like a body of water; the vampire couldn’t control the flow, but she could see where it was going and ride the wave. Bubblegum never quite understood the logic, but it was hard to argue with Marceline, who saw straight through Bonnibel and found her obsession with control hilarious. On more than one occasion the musician tried to warn her that control was, at best, an illusion, and if that was where all of her effort was focused she would one day find herself lost and helpless and become the victim of her own hubris. It was wisdom the upcoming-princess rejected because her pride would never allow her to seriously entertain the idea, the very notion, that Bonnibel Bubblegum could ever truly face a situation outside of her capacity for control. It was unheard of, absolutely ridiculous. She was the smartest woman alive, the future matriarch of the most powerful kingdom in Ooo. She had created life itself and bent it to her will in one fell swoop, constructed an entire kingdom using only her bare hands, pushed the laws of physics to their breaking point, and effectively domesticated one of the strongest creatures in the world. She knew that there was absolutely nothing she couldn’t handle.

Except.

“And I thought today was going to be boring.”

For the first time in her almost nine hundred years, Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum faced a situation so unprecedented that it was beyond her control.

While the princess stared at the woman before her utterly spellbound Finn took a more practical approach and proceeded to scan the room the five found themselves in, a task he had all but ignored due to the shock of who ‘the wad’ really was.  _ Come on, Finn. You know better than that. Alright, Marce. Let’s see what kind of Marce you are.  _ The first thing he noticed was the largest, most prominent object in the room: the sleek black desk. Though just as large as Hunson’s desk, his was simple and utilitarian, having just enough room for the tools necessary to aid in his job of sowing confusion and frustration throughout the Nightosphere. His daughter’s desk, in contrast, was much flashier and more detailed, containing a short lip and hood instead of flat surface, scaled edges along the sides turned inward, and what looked like a tiny replica of the wrought iron gate lined along the back, effectively discouraging anyone from reaching over to invade her space.

The top of the desk featured numerous trinkets, not all of which Finn could easily see. The largest was, without a doubt, the computer, which was a grey sleek thing, small and boxy with a green holo screen sitting above the contraption. It was hard to see the keyboard, but the object seemed too small to have anything too detailed; it actually looked like it might be rather cramped, and he wondered if it even had enough space for any keys or buttons. It sat to the vampire’s right, angled to easily face her, the screen level with her eyes, at least when sitting. Almost immediately to her left sat a small, round object that looked to be made of a light brown wood, outlined in gold. In contrast to the pristine organization of the rest of the room both the wood and metal of the small thing appeared chipped, the wood cracked and the gold heavily tarnished and stained. It was round on the top and seemed to sit on a rectangular base, though it seemed to be carved from the same piece of wood. It reminded Finn of a small clock, but he had no idea why a clock would exist anywhere in Marceline’s mind. It wasn’t large either, small enough to crush in his metal palm. Next to the small object was a picture frame. At least it was picture frame-shaped; it looked to be made of shiny nails fused together, the pointy ends facing outward in a way that discouraged careless grabbing. Although it was angled towards the group’s host it was impossible to see its picture, though if it was anything like literally every other picture in Marceline’s mind it was definitely blank.  _ Then why have it? _

Like Hunson’s actual office this one featured a long window behind the desk, allowing an easy view of the Nightosphere’s perpetual chaos. Unlike the actual window, however, this one was pitch black and impossible to see out of, effectively rendering it non-functional. Curiously, though, it was in no way obscured or damaged, unlike most of the other windows the boy had seen in this world.  _ Actually… except for that clock nothing here is damaged. Or even disorganized.  _ He continued to scan over the room, knowing that it was Adventurer 101 to take full stock of a location before fully engaging The Big Bad, and he didn’t see how a woman who identified herself as ‘Lady Evil’ could be anything but. In the corner, to the diagonal left of the half-demon, was a nondescript file drawer, almost as tall as she was. It lacked any form of labelling or even identification, appeared to be made of steel, and no part of Finn wanted to know what was in there. The walls, he realized, were missing the portrait’s found in Hunson’s actual office, even lacking empty frames. They were completely bare, and the younger brother frowned at the aberration. It made the office look far larger than he knew it actually was, and he wondered if that was on purpose. Finally, his sights landed on the front of the desk itself.

The panel facing the group reached the ground, making it impossible to see the inner components. What the hero could see, however, was an intricate design carved into whatever material the desk was made out of, a crest of some sort he was having trouble deciphering but was certain he had seen somewhere before, in the real Ooo. In the back of his mind he thought Bonnibel may be involved, but now was not the time nor the place to ask. He was too busy with what was in front of the desk, what separated the group from it: two black nondescript chairs, made of the same material as the desk. They were large enough for small humanoids, complete with a bar below the seat that would make a lovely foot rest, and longer armrests that seemed abnormally thick. But it was what was between the two chairs that caused him to startle, because he would know it anywhere. The dark violet and carnation wedged-pattern mosaic hand-painted over the same ebony-colored wood as the doors. The size and delicate shape, befitting the most powerful woman in the most powerful kingdom - politically at least. He had knelt before it in his younger years only to watch it be mangled only days ago by a madwoman with a vendetta, though this object was in perfect condition and seemed lovingly tended to to preserve the wood’s integrity.

It was an absolute perfect replica of Princess Bubblegum’s throne.

With a start he turned to his monarch, but she still hadn’t moved. Lips tight, eyes narrowed, she continued to glare daggers at the older woman before her. Said older woman was still smirking, still radiating the narcissism the young hero never thought Marceline capable of even pretending to have. Pinned garnet eyes ran over the group, abruptly resettling on the outsiders in a way that made Jake jump and raise his stake. Not that she seemed to care. Instead she only chuckled. “Come on, sit down guys. Don’t be dinks. You’re my guests.” When none of the three moved she rolled her eyes. “Really, I gotta insist. What kind of hostess would I be if I let you guys stand the whole time?” With a small twitch of her eye Bonnibel slowly moved to her throne, silently easing into it with centuries of practiced grace, still not dropping her piercing stare. With a quick exchange of reluctancy Finn and Jake moved behind her, Jake settling at her left as Finn lowered himself to her right. As he struggled to find something - anything - to say to the creature in front of him the Baddie redirected her attention to the two other vampires, lowering herself back into her own seat only once the three outsiders had sat. “You two can stand.”

The Navigator, who was far more accustomed to dealing with Lady Evil than any of the others, was immediately indignant. “Hey! Why do we have to stand?!” 

The strongest of the three sighed in the most patronizing tone imaginable. “I don’t see my piano, henchman. Not cool to leave it behind when you know I miss it. Can’t really let that just slide, you know?” Finn exchanged a look with Jake, mouthing, ‘henchman?’ The dog shrugged. The Navigator gritted her teeth, all forms of levity seeming to be drained out of her by this woman’s presence. 

“Dude, I’m not lugging a piano.”

“Did you bring  _ anything  _ from the house? My violin?”

“No.”

“Mandolin?”

“No.”

“Banjo?”

“No”

“Fiddle?”

“N-”

Before she could finish Finn blurted out, “Wait, you can play the fiddle?” 

Now Lady Evil’s attention was redirected to her youngest guest. “Hm? Oh, yeah. Daddy was really adamant that I learn to play the fiddle for some weirdo reason.” 

The Navigator scrunched her face in disgust. “Ugh, I remember that conversation. In the same breath he told us to learn the fiddle he was all ‘but never get in any fiddle contests, Marceline, trust me on this’. It was a really weird convo.” 

Lady Evil shook her head, returning to the one she called ‘henchman’. “So what I’m hearing is that you didn’t bring me anything except… this mess.” When she turned to the Unifier her gaze hardened. The Unifier glared back, but said nothing. 

Not wanting to risk a fight Finn raised his hand, drawing the strongest vampire’s attention. “Uh… Marce?” 

Attention successfully snared, the woman held up a hand to stop him from continuing. “Hold up. It’s ‘Lady Evil’. Or ‘Lady Abadeer’. Whichever. You know, freedom of choice is a very important facet of life, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, Finn.” 

He blinked, incredulous. “But we’re friends!” Pinned garnet eyes rolled. Hard. “Duh. Of course we’re friends. See how I’m  _ not  _ killing you?” 

When he fell silent Jake narrowed his eyes. “Dude, you sound exactly like your dad.” 

Lady Evil shrugged, clearly undeterred. “Eh, bound to happen at some point.” It was only when she turned to Jake that she noticed the younger woman was still trying to murder her with her eyes. The being of evil raised an eyebrow, though to her credit she did stop smirking. Now she just looked smug instead of narcissistic. “Aw, what’s wrong, Bon? You mad at me?” The candy golem said nothing, only lifting her right hand to demonstrate that her index finger and thumb were almost pinched tightly together. Lady Evil blinked, dumbfounded. “Why?” When Bonnibel still said nothing Lady Abadeer smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck. “Oh, this is probably about the Tyrant thing, huh?” The fingers pressed closer together. “Sorry, Bon, I didn’t know Usurper was going to do  _ that  _ to you. My bad.” Finn and Jake exchanged another look; despite her overt hostility to her weaker selves Lady Evil actually did sound apologetic. Though if her previous behavior was any indication that could very well be a convincing lie. Marceline had always been a fantastic liar.

However, her apology, sincere or not, finally caused Bubblegum to break her silence. “Why did you lock her in a soundproof cage, Marceline?! And don’t try to pass it off on the others!” Those words were so icy that touching them ran the risk of causing frostbite. The older woman held up her claws in defense, never dropping her sheepish look. When Bubblegum wasn’t corrected for the use of the Baddie’s first name Jake squinted at his false friend. 

“Oh sure,  _ she  _ gets to call you ‘Marceline’.” 

Lady Abadeer snickered, “Oh, she’s called me worse.”

“MARCELINE!”

Lady Evil lowered a hand, visibly trying not to smile and betray how very un-guilty she felt. “Calm down, Bon.” Predictably, she did not calm down. “First, nope, that was all me. They barely even helped. Moochers. To answer your other question, I had three reasons. One,” she held up a talon. “I’m all about weird punishments. Two,” a second talon. “She stood a reasonable chance of beating me in one on one combat, and I couldn’t really risk that. Most importantly though,” a third talon went one. “I needed her alive to protect you. I couldn’t risk anything happening to my mate.”

The room fell silent. It was the Unifier who broke it, a deep growl in her throat as she felt her eyes slit. The Navigator placed a hand on her shoulder, a look of worry overshadowing her previous irritation. Her voice dropped as her eyes flickered to the homicidal maniac in the room. “Calm down, don’t-” 

But, true to form, the Unifier seemed incapable of calming down, or possessing any sort of survival instinct. “What the flip do you mean?! We caged her  _ way  _ before-” 

When Lady Abadeer turned to sharply glare at her even the Unifier winced, mouth slamming shut. “Manners! Adults are talking! Interrupt again and I will do something you’ll hate.” As the Navigator pulled the vessel back the strongest vampire turned back to the trio, the look of sheer irreverence returning to her, where it belonged. “Where were we?” Finn and Jake could only stare on dumbstruck at the radical departure from Marceline’s typical impish nature back in the real Ooo. This Marceline may as well be a stranger to them, but Bonnibel recovered far quicker, motivated by confusion mixed in equal parts with fury.  _ She didn’t even try to pass the blame. She just… accepted it.  _

“Marceline, regardless of her behavior the Unifier is correct.” Lady Evil smirked, claw now poised over the tiny clock as her lover continued. “Tyrant told me that you trapped her years before we arrived. How can you claim that you caged her for my benefit?” She spat the word, but the half-demon didn’t care. Instead she trapped the clock. 

“This is how.” The princess quieted clearly expecting Lady Abadeer to continue of her own accord, obviously forgetting that Marceline did nothing she didn’t want to do. Which, evidently, included this. As in the Thorn Gate, it was Jake to the rescue. 

“Alright, I’ll bite. It’s a clock, right? How’d a clock…?” With a grin to match her ample ego the queen turned the item to face her visitors.

It was a timepiece alright. A heavily damaged one. The face was roughly the size of Jake’s paw and outlined in heavily stained gold that was more chipped than not. The light wood was heavily pocketed with tiny holes. The glass was cracked in a dozen places, heavily obscuring the face of the clock, which was black with streaks of copper through it. The numbers were numeralled, though both the ‘V’ and ‘XII’ were completely absent. The hands looked to be thin wires of copper, just thick enough to stand out against the dark background, though the cracked glass made finding them headache-inducing. Piercing green eyes scanned the small contraption but saw nothing that actually answered their owner’s question. As a pink hand gripped her throne’s armrest hard enough to turn her knuckles white Bonnibel shot back to Lady Abadeer, who was now leaning back in her chair and looked absolutely thrilled with herself. The candy golem spoke through clenched teeth. “Explain, Marceline. What does a broken clock have to do with anything?” 

Lady Evil’s smug grin took on a softer edge as she refocused her attention to the woman before her. She was lost to world around her, utterly entranced by the princess. Her head tilted, and she seemed to give her question genuine thought, before, “You’re so beautiful when you’re overwhelmed with rage, Bonnie. Did you know that? You’re very-” 

From the corner of the room an unwelcomed voice rejoined the group and all good humor dropped from Lady Evil’s voice and posture. “Stop flirting and get to the point, Abadeer!” 

It happened before any of the outsiders could stop her.

To her credit, the Unifier didn’t scream. She did cry out in pain, but she didn’t scream. She clutched the gaping hole where her left arm used to be, but she didn’t scream. Body wracked with pain, she was supported entirely by the Navigator who lowered her gently to the floor because the ability to support herself had been viciously robbed from her, but she didn’t scream. She did, however, have her arm ripped out at the shoulder, an action so quick there was only a brief sound of flesh tearing, of bone cracking, of tendons snapping before it was over. There was blood, so much blood that seeped into the dark ground, but the wound was immediately seared shut to stem the tide. As the Navigator laid her counterpart to her lap she glared at Lady Evil but said nothing as she returned to her desk as she threw the Unifier’s left arm to rest on her shoulder. The strongest queen stared at the Unifier blankly, ignoring the Navigator’s look of hatred. “You don’t get this back until I feel like you deserve it.” When she returned her attention to her three friends she was startled by the brothers’ mixed looks of horror and terror, Bonnibel’s look of displeasure and disapproval. “...What?” 

Finn’s eyes were wide, his head whipping to the Unifier, then back to his hostess. “Dude! You can’t just rip her arm off!” 

Lady Evil’s head tilted, eyebrow raising. “Finn, buddy, my lair, my rules.” She paused. “Well, dimension approximation. You know what I mean. Either way, I gave her a fair warning. You all saw it.” Stunned into silence, he turned helplessly to Bubblegum, Lady Abadeer following his gaze. In the course of the violent assault Bonnibel had taken to watching the other woman carefully, trying to ascertain who and what she really was. It was difficult, because she was distracted, the word floating in the back of her mind. _...Flirting?  _ But that would have to wait; if her distressed noises were any indicator the Unifier was in immense pain, and it wasn’t something the princess could let continue.  _ Why hasn’t she numbed herself? Something’s very wrong here.  _ For the first time in her life, she shoved her desire to analyze a situation through a scientific lens to the back of her mind. The Unifier - Marceline - was more important. This time when she adopted her Most Diplomatic Voice it was entirely purposeful.  _ If she’s Lady Evil she represents a foreign kingdom. She’s another dignitary, Marceline or not. You know how to deal with problematic dignitaries, Bubblegum.  _

“Marceline, please return the Unifier’s arm.” 

At first Lady Abadeer paused, watching her mate carefully, then straightened to meet her eye-to-eye. “Why?” It wasn’t a challenge, it was merely curious. They both fell silent, and although Finn and Jake exchanged a look neither said anything. They had spent years watching Bubblegum hold court, and they knew better than to interrupt her. And that’s what this was, really, even they knew that; it may not be the Candy Kingdom but it was court nonetheless. An enemy’s court. Because until Lady Abadeer proved otherwise the brothers had to assume she was an enemy, especially given that she had just thoughtlessly maimed their friend, then seemed utterly baffled that they were shocked by that fact. Finn realized then that this was a common theme between the Baddies: they knew the difference between ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, they just didn’t care and weren’t sure why anyone else did. Even Tyrant, who was ultimately their ally, wasn’t an exception; she only prioritized the princess’s wishes over her own. But they had no idea what to predict of  _ this  _ Baddie. She hadn’t been overtly hostile, like the Usurper, but she had been subtly hostile, as exemplified by her plaques taunting the group before they even met face to face. The Navigator’s voice echoed in the back of his mind.

_ Finn, keep your sword ready. All the time. For realz. _

_ Why? _

_ When it happens, you’ll know. _

While Jake hadn’t let go of his stake yet Finn had yet to draw his sword, hesitant even now to attack someone who wore his friend’s face. He’d prefer to keep it that way, but for now it was out of his hands: the world seemed to have fallen away for the two monarchs, they were engrossed only in one another. The young champion wanted to turn and see how his vampiric friends were holding up, but knew that, if it came to it, Bubblegum would need him more. A silent glance to his brother confirmed for him that he and Jake were on the same page, and he sent the Unifier a silent mental apology. It felt so much like abandoning her, even if it was to get her arm back and ease her suffering.  _ But… why hasn’t she numbed her own nerves, like she did for me when I lost my arm? Something’s wrong. _

“Now, as I was saying-”

“Wait.”

Lady Evil fell silent, watching Bonnibel carefully. “Yes, Bonnie?” 

The candy golem weighed her next words carefully. “Please return the Unifier’s arm.”

The Baddie scratched her chin, eyebrow raised. “...Nah, I think I’ll keep it. It’s a nice arm.” When Bubblegum frowned the half-demon chortled. “Let’s compromise. I’m keeping the arm until I think she deserves it, but I’ll numb her. Just for you, BonBon.” Without waiting for confirmation the queen rose once more, though rather than rush her weaker self as before she instead deposited the dismembered arm on her desk thoughtlessly before strolling over, Jake recoiling in the process. 

Bonnibel raised an eyebrow, watching her surprisingly cooperative enemy. “You haven’t called me that in years.” 

The vampire chuckled as she kneeled next to the Unifier, who glared but remained silent as she dared not risk jeopardizing Lady Abadeer’s good will. Not only was it exceedingly rare she just didn’t have it within herself to undermine Bonnibel’s well-fought gift to her. “I haven’t?” The sharp pain of pressure being pressed against the partially-exposed wound faded to gentle numbness and the Unifier growled softly as the Baddie returned to her desk. “Maybe I should start again.”

The princess watched her carefully; without the Unifier as an immediate concern she could do nothing to stop her overly-analytical mind from trying to mentally dismantle this last Marceline, who bled an aura of narcissism, wielded cruelty like an extension of her arm, and was so calm she may as well be serene.  _ Are you… flirting again? What are you?  _ But she wasn’t ready to ask either of those questions. Yet. Instead her eyes flickered back to the clock on the desk. “You were telling us about the broken clock.” 

The vampire nodded, tapping it twice before retracting her claw. “It’s not broken. But it  _ is  _ slow.” She snickered at a joke no one but her understood. “It’s our internal clock.” 

Finn blinked, confused. “Wait, you have an internal clock?”

Lady Evil nodded sagely. “Yup. Swiped it from our Moral Code before I left the Cave House.” Finn’s eyes widened and he whipped his head towards the weaker vampires.  _ Why didn’t you tell us?  _ But the Navigator’s ashen face was answer enough.  _...You didn’t know.  _ Not for the first time, Finn found himself wondering how well Marceline really knew herself. When he returned his attention to Lady Abadeer the Baddie was no longer attending to the outsiders. She had locked the Navigator’s eyes, daring her to challenge her.

She didn’t.

Satisfied, Lady Evil returned her focus to her guests. “After we… contained Tyrant I agreed to leave the Cave House in favor of my lair. Of course…,” she shrugged, “no one said I couldn’t take a parting gift, and no one was appreciating how important this little thing is. It’s better in my claws than a box in a couch.” 

Now the Navigator spoke up, her tone bitter, though she dare not move; the Unifier had regained consciousness, and she knew she couldn’t risk another assault. Lady Evil’s good graces were few and far between, and the vampire had no doubt she was just looking for an excuse to kill the vessel. “How the flub is that-” When the strongest queen shot her a look the Navigator stopped talking. She knew that look. She saw Bonnibel wear it enough, and it was in her voice she heard the command.

_ Manners. _

“An internal clock is important, mein kleiner, because as small and malfunctional as it is not everyone we care about is as fantastic as we are in the ‘staying alive’ department. Daddy is Deathless, Bonnie is effectively immortal, as is Simon. At least, as long as he’s cursed. But neither of these two,” she gestured absently to Finn and Jake, “are. Phoebe isn’t.” Her eyes took on a dangerous glint. “Our mother wasn’t.” 

Before she could do something stupid the Navigator held the Unifier down, muttering a soft, “stop. Don’t let her bait you. Don’t-” But the Unifier wasn’t listening, that much was clear. Before she could indeed do something stupid Finn raised his hand, redirecting Lady Abadeer’s attention. 

“So… Tyrant?” 

By some small miracle he was successful. “Hm? Oh, yeah.” A grey talon tapped the clock once more. “As I was saying, this clock isn’t broken, just slow. Slow, because it isn’t measuring time within our mind. It’s measuring it as it actually exists.” 

Finn’s eyes widened. “Woah. Like. ...In the real Ooo?” 

While the half-demon spoke to the boy she watched her impassive mate from the corner of his eye. “I just happened to catch the second-hand move as I was collecting it and realized that not much time has actually passed between our world and yours.”

The princess narrowed her eyes. “You were counting on us to come after you?” 

Her estranged mate nodded, doing nothing to hide her self-satisfied smirk at the accusation-that-looked-like-a-question-but-wasn’t. “I knew you’d come after your mate. Or your property. Whichever, it really doesn’t matter which one you see us as. Result’s the same, you know? I just had to wait for you to find me. ‘Course, I couldn’t let either of these idiots tell you my name. No way you’d have wandered into my lair so willingly if you knew who I was. Am I right?” It was only through centuries of experience in negotiating with hostile foreign bodies that the young scientist was able to keep her expression indifferent, and only through centuries more of her relationship with the vampire that she knew how to control the speed of her heart.  _ She strategized years in advance. She accurately predicted my behavior and used it to her advantage. Her strength is on par with both the Tyrant and Usurper.  _ Though she would never admit it to anyone, including herself, the candy golem felt that dark side of herself watch the other woman, just as carefully as the analytical and stunted heartguts sides. And it was proud of what her mate was truly capable of, given the right incentive, what she could turn into under the right circumstances.  _ I knew you could be an effective ruler and a true tactician if you let yourself be. You always had it in you, Marcy.  _ The idea of cultivating this side of her vampire in a healthy manner was tempting, so very tempting, but she knew now was not the time. At least, not until she had the answer to one very important question.

“What are you, Marcy?”

Lady Abadeer tilted her head, eyebrow raised. “I’m everything daddy wanted me to be, just like Tyrant was everything  _ you  _ wanted us to be.”

“What does that make Usurper?”

The smirk never wavered. “We’re getting off track. Why don’t-” 

Before she could continue Jake’s paw shot up. The paw without the stake. His eyes were narrowed in a challenge she evidently found laughable, because she barely repressed her snicker. “Hold up. I gots a question.” Her silence was all the permission he needed. “Earlier you apologized to the princess for what Usurper did to Tyrant. How did you know? Navigator was with us the whole time, so there’s no way she could’ve told you, and Linke and Rechte weren’t there.”  _ And no one likes you. _ Bonnibel blinked at that question, feeling herself tense at its implication. 

The vampire chuckled, now focusing her gaze on the elder brother. “Oh, that. Well…” Without breaking eye contact her left claw slid under her desk, and with a small *click* the window behind the Baddie came to life, draining her guests of all cheer and good will to power it.

“...No way.”

The window was, in truth, not one thing but rather a composite of over a dozen small screens. They were all places that Jake recognized, all locations he knew he and his friends had been, if not that day then a day or two before. There, the front of the Cabin, where the Tyrant lost her life. In the middle, three screens down, the soundproof roof that served as the Tyrant’s torture chamber was displayed like a work of art. Just above it was the Cave House’s master bedroom, and two down from that the Kingdom’s entrance, just beyond the Thorn Gate. Two below showed the very entrance to Lady Abadeer’s lair; she would have had a perfect view of the group discovering her little welcome sign, as well as their discovery of her plaques. Though most of the screens showed something some were dark, and Jake assumed they were the ones he spotted in the Candy Kingdom, before the Usurper levelled it.

Apparently their expressions proved amusing, because the vampire snorted in sheer derision. “Don’t tell me you missed all the cameras. Come on, guys.” 

Jake’s narrowed eyes turned into a glare, but that seemed to just fuel the queen’s amusement, her smirk now a grin of needle-sharp fangs that caused him to instinctively recoil. “You’ve… been spying on us?” He meant for that to come out as more of a bark, really he did, but the bared teeth reminded him too much of the Usurper’s just as she rounded on him during their battle in the throne room. 

Lady Evil’s grin dropped as she smiled the most innocent smile she could, an expression Jake was sure she inherited from her father. “I’m Lady Evil. I spy on everyone. No big ‘d’. Besides…” when she turned back to Bonnibel she looked fond, perhaps even sincerely so, it was hard to tell with beings of pure evil. “I learned from the master.” 

Bubblegum felt her eye twitch before she could tell it to knock it off.  _ Impressive. Given the proper motivation and environment I could-  _ But she cut that thought off right there, because she knew  _ exactly  _ where it was leading.  _ No. I will not encourage this. As much as I’d appreciate a true equal-  _ That thought was cut off as well.  _ Bubblegum! What the lump! Marcy’s already your equal! She doesn’t need to be…  _ But her thoughts trailed off then, because it was only in that moment that the younger woman knew that she had to admit, at least to herself, why those stray thoughts were blossoming in the first place. It was the sudden understanding that Hunson wasn’t the only sovereign to want this for Marceline. It was the deep desire to encourage the older woman to surrender those pieces of her that made her  _ her _ , even if she was irreverent and casual to the point of detriment. Bonnibel imagined these thoughts were what Rechte was referring to before she was killed by one, because it was wrong, twisted and inappropriate, needed to be repressed, but Bonnibel’s own words rang in her mind.

_ I think this is a good sign that you’re going to make an excellent Lady Evil, Marcy. _

_...I wanted this as well. I encouraged this when you protected me from Jan, punishing him by mutilating his leg. All of these centuries you’ve watched me machinate and I never dreamed that I could be acting as your teacher unwittingly, that perhaps you were learning without consciously realizing what you were absorbing. I never thought you had any of this in you, yet here Lady Evil sits, not only existing within your psyche but as a large component of it.  _ Her thoughts turned to her two other vampires, who literally had their backs against the wall.  _ Did you know what you were capable of? Because…  _ Only now was Bonnibel beginning to realize a new awful truth about herself, something that brought bile to the back of her throat: On some deep, dark level she actually liked Lady Abadeer. 

Malicious force notwithstanding, the princess had never truly met her intellectual match before, never been acquainted with someone who could not only go toe-to-toe with her but redirect her own machinations and use them against her. The best - or perhaps worst - part was that it wasn’t a stranger competing against her, it was a Marceline. Some part of the woman she considered her soulmate was capable of matching her in a way she never imagined  _ anyone  _ could. It was getting more difficult to push that dark part of her to the back of her mind. It was just so… happy.  _ No. Stop it. This isn’t right. She’s part of Marceline but she isn’t her. She’s not supposed to be like this. It’s all wrong, Bubblegum! Didn’t you see what she did to the Unifier? She still has her arm resting over her shoulder, like a trophy! This had to come from somewhere, yeah, but Marcy would never do that!  _ Bonnibel blinked, jolted out of her stupor by the visual reminder of what this Baddie was capable of.

Dark attraction pushed aside, the young scientist regained her composure, hoping that no one noticed her private lapse in judgment. “You’ve been watching us this whole time, but you never leave your lair. How did you possibly install so many cameras and in such tactical locations?” 

Now Lady Evil looked positively pleased with herself, turning her attention to her two weaker counterparts. “How about it, henchman? You wanna field that one?” When three additional sets of eyes turned to her the Navigator silently turned away, cheeks flushing in shame. “No?” After a loaded pause she shook her head softly, still not looking at her friends. 

Jake’s eyes widened, perhaps in betrayal, perhaps in shock. “Dude! You set up the cameras?!”

“How do you think she paid for your food?”

Whereas Finn and Bonnibel continued to watch the Navigator, who swallowed hard at the not-question, Jake, flipped his attention back to Lady Evil. “What are you talkin’ about, Abadeer?”

She shrugged, her tone adopting a drop of pity. “She traded her dignity to make sure you all wouldn’t starve.” A soft growl escaped from the back of the Navigator’s throat, yet she dare not face her friends, or issue a true challenge to the queen, and so it was ignored. “I told you, mein kleiner. Your heart is heavy and bleeds at the slightest provocation.” Finn watched her, desperate to tell her that he didn’t blame her. He had never seen Marceline look so ashamed before, so wracked with guilt, and it broke his heart.  _ You don’t know we can’t actually starve here because it’s not real. It’s not your fault, Marce. You just wanted to protect us.  _ But the words wouldn’t come, couldn’t come. Perhaps the lie was better, more merciful to pretend that her actions were necessary.  _ At least this way she thinks it was to save us.  _ Finn hated lying, but he hated hurting his friends more. He turned back to Lady Abadeer only to feel himself tense when he noted the predatory gleam in her eyes.  _ Oh flub. What if she knows? That’s so… messed up.  _ But the gallant champion had absolutely no way of calling his probably-not-friend out without breaking the Navigator’s heart in the process.  _ You didn’t trade your dignity, Marce. But… maybe Arbitrator wasn’t the one of you to have a secret hero side. _

Whereas Finn’s attention was monopolized by the Navigator Bonnibel was fixated entirely on Lady Abadeer.  _ I sent you to spy on my fellow royals and you used your invisibility to install the cameras. You chose Navigator, whose gift is her ability to move entirely undetected. That cannot be a coincidence. You learned that from me as well, didn’t you Marcy? Is this what happens when you remove those pieces of yourself that feel so strongly, both positive and negative?  _ The candy golem wasn’t sure if she should be impressed or furious, and it took more deliberation than she’d like to admit to choose furious. Before she could have the dignity of scolding her wayward mate Lady Evil raised her claws to her in defense. “Look, I get it. You’re all mad at me. I know, I know. Bad queen,” she gently swatted her own claw. “But let’s be real. You guys didn’t come here just to bask in my glorious presence. So what up?” Her attention returned to Bubblegum, who did her best to maintain a look of utter indifference. If Lady Abadeer was half as dangerous as Bonnibel herself the princess knew she would need to carefully control every potential tell, every tiny facet of information.  _ Give her only what she needs to know and nothing more. _

“We need your help.”

“Well-"

The vampire was interrupted. It was a loud chime, almost deep enough to be a bell but just missing the mark. As hard as they scanned the room neither Finn nor Jake could identify its source. It wasn’t a deafening noise, like the cacophony that preceded an attack by a Repressed Thought, but it rang through the room, loud enough to be unmistakable without causing injury. It chimed four times before ceasing entirely, at which point the older woman shrugged. “This’ll have to wait, guys. Lunch break.” 

Bonnibel gaped at the half-demon, waiting for the lopsided grin or arrogant smirk that seemed to indicate her cruel jokes. “...You’re kidding.” 

Instead she watched as the Baddie slid open a drawer, removing a pad of lined off-white paper and a dark green pen. “Anyone want anything? Finn? Jake? Bonnie?” All three fell silent, still convinced this was some sort of horrible prank. When they refused to provide input the queen shrugged once more before looking over their shoulders, focusing on the Navigator and giving a sharp whistle as she folded the paper. “Henchman!” 

With another vain growl the Navigator rose, gently lowering the Unifier to the ground. “Would you stop calling me that?” 

Lady Evil chuckled, as if her weaker self had just made a fantastic joke. “‘Henchman for life’ means ‘henchman for life’, dude. Tell ya what, though. You  _ did  _ bring Bonnie and the dorks to me safely, so you go do your job and I’ll reattach the waste of space’s arm, kay?”

The two stared at one another intently, but it was a losing battle and the Navigator knew it. “...Fine. If you attach it  _ now _ , not later.” Without waiting for a retort she snatched the folded note, and with one last glance at the Unifier she was out the door and back down the hall. 

True to her word Lady Abadeer snickered, rising to make her way back to her prone self. “Excuse me for a moment.” The moment she kneeled next to the vessel all good humor dropped away; her free claw wrapped tightly around her neck as she held her down, talons digging into soft grey flesh in a silent command not to move, two thin streams of dark blood flowing from her throat. Without grace the Baddie forced the Unifier’s arm back into its socket, a sickening *crack* and *pop* revealing the exact moment her bones and flesh began to knit back together again. When the fingers twitched Lady Evil dropped her roughly, parting with a look of disgust and complete disregard for her friends’ looks of dismay and consternation. Once back behind her desk there was the unmistakable sound of a thick drawer sliding open, the rockstar leaning down to retrieve its contents before closing it again.

Said contents appeared to be a large hourglass. It was as long as the woman’s forearm and appeared to be composed of a dark metal akin to pewter. Whereas most hourglasses Bonnibel had seen were supported by straight pillars this one was not; its pillars were actually warped, giving the impression that they were actually wrapping around the glass, rather than standing alongside it. The metal was thick, too, and it almost looked like small metal thorns were fused into it, though this metal was copper, rather than pewter. While she couldn’t see the base of the hourglass she could catch a glimpse of the top and noted that it featured the same design of the eight arrows pointed in separate directions found on Finn’s sword’s crossguard. Both the top and base were supported by tiny copper feet that looked like tiny claws. Once the drawer was closed Lady Evil flipped the hourglass, allowing the white sand - at least, she hoped it was sand and not, say, ash - to begin dropping to the bottom chamber. Task complete she returned to her original position, legs thrown on her desk, head rested in her claws. When she noticed her friends stare at her she raised an eyebrow. “...What?”

“...What the lump was that?!”

“Finn, I just told you. It’s break time. Hour-long lunch.”

“And… where’d Navigator go?”

“She’s making lunch.”

“...Why?”

“Because I have hungries and there’s no way I’m making my own lunch when my henchman is here.”

The room fell uncomfortably silent. Well, Finn was uncomfortable at least, and Jake appeared to be in agreement. The princess, though, was radiating ire and hadn’t taken her eyes off of Lady Evil, who seemed completely at ease with the situation. When she noticed she had a gawker the vampire smirked, tilting her head. “What’s up, Bon?” 

Bonnibel took a steadying breath. “I’d like to continue our original-” 

Lady Abadeer held a claw up. “Bonnie, I respect that you have a goal to accomplish, and I’ve always totes loved your ‘serious face’. But like I said, I’m on break, and I recommend you take one as well.” 

Once more, Bubblegum felt her eye twitch, not the least of which was because the other woman actually sounded concerned of all things. “...Very well. Answer me this at least. Why couldn’t the Unifier numb her own pain?” 

Apparently this didn’t count as a work-related question, and Lady Abadeer stretched. “Like I said, my lair, my rules. She’s been a butt all day, so I needed to remind her who’s in charge.”

“...You can take away her ability?”

Whatever answer Lady Evil may have considered offering would have to wait. “Welcome back, henchman.” 

With narrowed eyes the Navigator landed in front of the massive desk, almost dropping a plate with an odd pink fish filet in front of Lady Abadeer, followed by a small pink plate with a chocolate cake the size of her fist and in the shape of a heart before Bonnibel. “Stop calling me that.” Before she could be humiliated further a bottle in a large steel ice bucket and two glasses joined the plates. When the stronger royal chuckled the Navigator took the chance to retreat, electing to check on the Unifier. She had been strangely quiet.

As Finn and Jake watched in utter bafflement Lady Evil began to quietly eat lunch. “...You’re kidding,” Finn repeated, but, no, she was not and the brothers exchanged a look of mutual agreement that the entire situation was incredibly awkward. The silence was awkward, being unable to help their humiliated friends was awkward, watching the third Big Baddie, a woman who could easily waste them all, eating lunch calmly was awk-

Wait.

“Uh… Lady Evil? How are you eating?”

She took her eyes from her plate, raising an eyebrow at him. “Did you miss the part where I sent Navigator to make me food?” She looked over his shoulder, he assumed at the vampire in question. “Good job, by the way. Cooking for the Dork Patrol has definitely given you lots of valuable practice.” He ignored the quiet, sarcastic, ‘yay’ behind him, watching as she removed the bottle from the pail. 

“I mean… since. You’re a vampire.” 

Without the pail in the way he could now see that the bottle was, in fact, a wine bottle, a green and translucent thing with a body largely covered by a dark grey label. “Finn, in my lair I pretty much have absolute control. I haven’t been able to eat solid food since we were de-vamped. I missed it. So, now I’m doing it.” When the Baddie stuck her talon into the cork and effortlessly pulled it out he realized that the label bore a name for the vintage; in a black flourish it identified itself as ‘The Fancy Stuff’. 

“Uh…” 

Ignoring his inarticulate response Lady Abadeer carefully poured a deep purple liquid into both glasses, setting her own by her plate and handing the other to- “Bonnie?” The princess watched her blankly and demonic eyes rolled. “Come on, BonBon. I know you’re hungry, and I’ve never let you starve before. Not gonna start now.” The young scientist gave no response and the clawed hand swirled the glass before her. “It’s your favorite,” she sang.

As Finn and Jake looked on in disbelief, stunned into silence, their princess sighed and took the glass. “Thank you, Marcy.”  _ This is… bizarre. This is undoubtedly an elaborate ploy to win our trust so she can betray us later, but then why focus entirely on me? She hasn’t been hostile to Finn or Jake, she just… ignores them entirely. Does she register that I may be a threat in some way? Is she flirting with me as some sort of mindgame? Is she… doing to me what I’ve done to her? Marceline always had it in her to be charming, but this…  _ Bonnibel waited for Lady Evil to return to her lunch before partaking in her dessert.  _ Does she really believe we think we can trust her? That a cake tart and wine will allow us to overlook that she’s a malevolent force that tortured Tyrant because she thought it was funny?  _ She blinked.  _ Wait.  _ Taking great care not to relinquish her disposition of impassivity the princess cleared her throat. “Marceline?” In contrast to her vampire’s typical demeanor  _ this  _ Marceline actually stopped what she was doing, looking up and even swallowing before addressing her. 

“Yes, Bonnie?” It was unnerving. 

“I have a question regarding a comment you made earlier. You mentioned that you kept Tyrant alive to protect me. Correct?”

“Mmhm.”

“You were not referring to us as a unit, but rather me specifically?”

“Mmhm.”

_ Interesting.  _ “Why me specifically?”

Lady Abadeer stared at her as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. “You’re my mate. You protect your mate. It’s something even we can all agree on. Well, save Linke and Usurper of course, but that first one is dead already.” 

That snapped Finn out of his stupor. “Hold up, Mar- … Lady Abadeer. Then why’d you trash Peeble’s lab?” 

The Baddie’s look of confusion turned into revulsion. “Why the flip would I trash my own mate’s lair? Weak.” Bonnibel raised an eyebrow.  _ You consider my laboratory my ‘lair’? Interesting again.  _ Finn rubbed his chin. “So wait. You went there and like… didn’t trash it?” She nodded, finishing her meal as Bubblegum finished her’s. “No, I left that room exactly how I found it.”

“Then why go?”

“To leave the diary. And my business card.” 

The young scientist rolled that logic over in her ample mind as Finn continued his inquisition. “But if you left Tyrant just to protect her why didn’t you help us after her death? P-bubs could’ve gotten hurt!” 

Lady Abadeer laughed softly. “Finn, bud, Bonnie’s strong. She doesn’t need her hand held. She was gonna be fine no matter what, I just needed to make sure she got through you challenging Usurper so that she’d get the bright idea to find me and you’d follow her lead. Besides, you had Navigator, and you were gonna find Rechte at some point. Bon’s the matriarch of the most powerful kingdom in Ooo, and a brainlord besides. She wouldn’t have gotten there if she needed to rely on me to protect her, nor would I have ever considered her a worthy mate.” Something about that sentence nagged at Bonnibel, as if some memory from hundreds of years ago were trying to breach the surface and warn her about something vital. She concentrated, focused her energy, tried to grab it and yank it free, but it slipped through her fingers just as the sand in the Baddie’s hourglass ran up.

Hopefully unaware of her princess’s internal struggle the vampire opened her drawer and slid the hourglass back whence it came. “There we go. Now, I’m going to go for a walk to help my tum-tum digest. Who wants to come?” Before Bonnibel could frame any response she saw Lady Evil’s face darken, heard her voice fall flat, and when she followed her sight she saw why: The Unifier had regained consciousness and she looked just as unhappy to see the Baddie as the Baddie was to see her. “Oh look. It’s awake.” When the Unifier bared her fangs she followed her silent warning up by doing absolutely nothing. “That’s what I though. Now stay over there. You disgust me.” Her nose wrinkled. “Ugh. Gross.” Bonnibel tried to provide a look of reassurance, show some form of solidarity with the weaker vampire, but she could neither catch nor keep her gaze. “Bon, don’t feel bad for her. She’s a disappointment.”

_ Did she just get in my head? _

As the feeling of being violated in some way settled over her like a sticky cloak Finn sighed. “Come on, Mar- ...Lady Abadeer. You’re being harsh. What’s your problem with Unifier?” 

The singer gave another deep sigh. “Finn, guy, you don’t get it. You  _ can’t _ get it. Short answer, though? She’s a ding dong. And the worst kind of ding dong. She’s a coward.” 

Jake drummed his fingers on the stake. “Whatcha talkin’ about, Abadeer?” 

Her eyes rolled. “Like I said, I’m on break.”

“Marceline.”

It was the princess’s warning tone, and Lady Abadeer responded with a patronizing smirk. A smirk that said, ‘you’re adorable’. A smirk Bonnibel didn’t like in any way. “Fine, fine. Unifier’s job was supposed to be to take the rest of the soulshards and put us back together again. You know, all the stuff you three are helping her do? You know why we call her Unifier? Because she was supposed to make us stronger as an individual by getting us to work together. But she was too scared to try and too scared to go back to Ooo and it all fell apart because we learned we  _ like  _ being us and that working together is for lame-os. She was too scared to face Bonnie, too scared to face daddy, too scared to be more than what we are. She didn’t care that Navigator, Rechte, and Arbitrator wanted to be whole. Arbitrator was even weaker than her but she still tried to succeed. She even challenged  _ me _ , knowing I could end her without leaving my lair. But Unifier? She didn’t care. She didn’t try. She put herself above everyone else like a selfish coward. All the power at her fingertips, and what did you do, Unifier?” The Unifier said nothing, her gaze leaving her friends just as the Navigator’s did, the same blush of humiliation gracing her. Lady Abadeer’s tone hardened. “I asked you a question, tranch. What did you do?” 

A small growl began at the back of the weaker demon’s throat before being quickly extinguished in a weak sigh. “...Nothing,” she muttered.

“Exactly. You did nothing.”

Bonnibel wanted to say something, defend her somehow, object in some way, but was too stunned by just how callous this Marceline was, how perfectly accurate the Navigator’s description was proving. The Tyrant had been used as a tool to protect the princess, yet by her own admission if the younger woman had needed additional protection Lady Evil may have not cared. She had been spying from perhaps the get-go, but utterly disregarded the Unifier’s trauma and experiences. She seemed to have absolute or near-absolute rule of her domain, so much so that she could even temporarily disable the Unifier’s ability to relieve her own pain. She knew how powerful she was but, unlike the Usurper, she clearly suffered no desire to brag and show it off destructively just for the sake of doing so. She had taken responsibility for her actions rather than blame one of the others or try to minimize the damage she inflicted. Despite their poor terms Lady Evil had freely complimented the others, even the Navigator, despite clearly considering her little more than a servant. She was malicious and aggressive while being calm and collected, and she recognized Finn and Jake as friends without expressing any form of personal attachment. The candy golem’s own experiences and strategies had been adapted by the vampire, used simultaneous both for and alongside the outsiders. The Baddie had been involved in most, if not all, of every step of their journey without leaving the comfort of her office.

In that moment Bonnibel Bubblegum decided she did not like not being the dominant one in their relationship.

The tension in the room threatened to suffocate its inhabitants, but all Finn and Jake could do was watch helplessly. Not only did this go beyond them it was heartbreaking in its own right; no matter their fancy names and what they represented these were  _ all  _ parts of their best friend, and it was sickening to watch her almost destroy herself with that level of what amounted to self-loathing. Bonnibel silently agreed, knowing that the Tyrant, that piece of her lover that was literally self-deprecation, existed inside the Unifier and just had to suffer that vicious assault about how she was a worthless failure. _ Don’t listen to her, Marcy. She’s wrong.  _ While she struggled to find something to say, something to do, The Navigator placed her hand on the Unifier’s shoulder, a reassurance that doubled as a warning. “Look, just one question before you head off, ‘cause I think we’re gonna chill here. Maybe take a nap. You already know about it-”

“The vote.”

The Navigator nodded. “Tyrant, Rechte, and I all vote to hear Bonnie out when we get back to Ooo. Unifier, Linke, and Usurper vote to bail on her. Arbitrator died before she could make a decision. It’s majority rule, and you’re the last one. Since you’ve been watching us all this time-”

“I know what the vote’s about. Bonnie’s dagger. Yeah, I saw the battle with Usurper.” She stopped to wink at the princess. “Great shot, by the way.” She returned to the Navigator, missing her fluster. “So what you dinks are telling me is that I’ve got the final say since you’re tied. That about right? What I say goes for the whole?”

When she nodded Finn gulped hard, knowing that this was the moment of truth, the stupid, awkward, horrible moment they had been waiting for since the Navigator since proposed the vote what felt like weeks ago. Jake clenched his jaw, memories of the Thorn Gate still fresh in his mind. Bonnibel held her breath, knowing that it was entirely possible - nay, likely - that she was about to lose her mate for good unless she thought of some clever solution, some ingenious plan once they returned to Ooo to change Whole Marceline’s mind. She was staring her worst fears in the face, knowing that this situation was beyond her now. She had done everything she could, but only managed to force a tie. Now her fate was in the claws of an enigmatic feral animal in a suit, a woman who ripped off the Unifier’s arm moments before offering the princess an admittedly delicious chocolate tart. There was nothing more she could do, except to revisit all of the memories she had made with her vampire and count the things that may forever be denied her.  _ When was the last time we watched our meteor shower? When did I last listen to the songs she wrote for me? Have I even been to a movie night in the past six months?  _ As always, her thoughts turned back to her dagger, that wretched object nestled so snugly in her messenger bag.  _ Please, Marcy. Give me a chance to make this right. _

As the princess saw her relationship flash before her eyes Lady Abadeer glanced at the outsiders, pinned eyes raking over them one by one. For a long time her sights settled on her mate, her head tilted. Garnet, demonic eyes locked with piercing green ones, observing the depth of her confliction and the drive behind it. She returned to the Unifier, who reeked of fear and self-doubt, a stench that made the strongest component wrinkle her nose. With a slight shake of her head she ended her visual journey on the Navigator, who looked so very resolute, so determined; the Baddie had watched as she and Bonnibel had grown so close following Tyrant’s death, especially after the younger royal’s conversation with Rechte. As they found solace in one another. She knew the protective gleam in the Navigator’s eyes, the threat that no matter their difference in power, she would not hesitate to protect her mate, as a good demon should. It was enough.

“I abstain.”

At first nothing happened. Then, four heads turned to a stunned Bubblegum expectantly. It took her a moment to realize why. “She’s not voting,” she whispered. As Finn and Jake loudly exhaled a mixture of relief and confusion the Unifier erupted. 

“WHAT THE LUMP?! You can’t just not vote!” 

Lady Evil looked amused, arms crossing. “I’m not doing your dirty work for you. Rechte was never going to vote otherwise. Neither was Tyrant or Navigator. They’re all pretty dug into Camp Pro-Bonnie. Usurper is  _ definitely  _ in Camp Be Mad Forever. It’s pretty reasonable to assume that Linke was too. But you? You smell uncertain. You made your choice when you were mad and all you had in you was our drop of nothing. But now you also have Linke, Rechte, and Tyrant in you. Two of those are pro-Bonnie, including the  _ most  _ pro-Bonnie of all of us. You may have been super-serious-sure before all that but now you aren’t, and you’re too scared to make a choice either way so you want me to do it for you. I’m not gonna, though. Be a big girl and do it yourself.” When the Unifier bared her fangs in a silent snarl, eyes slitting once more, the stronger queen narrowed her eyes, her right hand erupting in intense white fire. Jake yelped at the sudden intensity, drawing back and taking Finn with him. He could feel the heat from across the room. “Do I need to teach you respect, Unifier? Navigator gets it. The dweebs get it. You’re the only one who keeps forgetting The Law of Bigger than You.”

The princess’s eyes widened in understanding.  _ She’s serious. She’s more than capable of destroying the Unifier, and if that happens… Come on, Bubblegum! Don’t let her-  _ “Marceline.”

Though she did not disperse the flames Lady Abadeer turned her head. “Yes, Bonnie?,” she asked calmly.

_ She’s a hostile foreign dignitary with an unknown agenda. Nothing more.  _ Bonnibel was struck with an idea, an amalgamation of that dark part of herself she had been struggling with so recently and those stunted heartguts, those squishy and pointy feelings that she knew now she couldn’t and shouldn’t run from. A solution that fed both sides. She spoke with all of the authority that her over five hundred years of ruling granted her, her posture rigid, her tone steady. “Please refrain from… whatever it is you’re planning to do to the Unifier.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Bonnie, you’re my mate, so I get that you’re trying to protect this mess. But she’s in  _ my  _ lair and obvs needs to be taught who’s in charge here.”

Bonnibel weighed each word of her response with immense care.  _ Here goes nothing. Come on, Bubblegum. She’s still Marcy.  _ “I agree, all of those things are true. However, it is not your place to teach her respect.” She was vaguely away that both Finn and Jake’s heads were bouncing between Lady Abadeer and herself and wished she had had just a moment to warn them about her plan, just in case it went horribly awry. As so many of their plans had as of late. Especially her own.

Lady Evil tilted her head and sounded almost amused. “Oh? What are you thinking?”

_ Are you testing me, Marcy?  _ “The Unifier is a vessel and a composite of four other soulshards, namely Linke, Rechte, Tyrant, and Arbitrator. Correct?”

With a predatory smirk Lady Abadeer dropped her focus from the Unifier, her attention now monopolized by Bonnibel. “I’d love to see where you’re going with this. That’s right.”

_ You’re definitely testing me.  _ “The Unifier absorbs those traits and facets of the soulshards she collects, making them, for all intents and purposes, her. Correct?”

“Yup.”

“Tyrant was the embodiment of Whole Marceline’s desire to serve, as well as her loyalty and self-deprecation. While those last two were generalized statements the compulsion to serve was in relation solely and specifically to me. Correct?”

“Uh huh.”

“When we met Tyrant she wore a collar declaring her my property, and she proved incapable of disobeying me. These traits transferred with her soulshard as they are innate to her personally. Ergo, in absorbing Tyrant the Unifier is now also my property. It’s true she showed you disrespect within your own lair, but as she belongs to me it is a burden I bear, not her. Regardless, I own her, and you cannot destroy or otherwise harm her. I apologize for her poor behavior and lack of manners.” The reality that she had to apologize to her lover in a manner that bordered on begging left a sour taste in her mouth, but she knew that Lady Abadeer held the vessel in low esteem and seemed to be almost desperate for a reason to harm or even destroy her. The princess had to assume the Baddie was fully willing to kill her, or at least gravely injure her. In either case her own goal to see  _ her  _ Marceline home would be lost, and if she had to stoop to a level below her temporarily it would be worth it.  _ Sorry, Marcy. I hope you know I don’t really think of you that way… anymore, but this may be the only language she understands. _

Lady Abadeer stared at her mate, head still cocked as she pondered this line of reasoning. With an abrupt chuckle she flexed her fingers, extinguishing the flame. “I’m pretty sure I could challenge that line of reasoning and win, but I like it. That was fun. You can have her back.” When she turned back to the Unifier she sneered. “You really should thank Bonnibel for saving your worthless head.” Not willing to suffer a response, Lady Evil threw the Unifier to the ground and returned to her original task: leaving the room. “Now, like I said. I’m going for a walk to help my tum-tum digest. If you want to come we can continue our discussion, or you can wait for me to come back. Whatevs, I’m not your mom.” With no hesitation the young scientist followed the queen. At least, she began to follow her. Instead she stopped herself, turning to the weaker vampires, noting that the Navigator was smiling at her sadly, the Unifier not looking at her at all from her spot on the floor she had been thrown to. Not wanting to leave her with the wrong impression, Bonnibel kneeled next to the disgraced vampire. 

“Marcy… I’m sorry I had to do that. But I couldn’t let her hurt you. She could kill you.” To her surprise, when she cupped the older woman’s cheek she didn’t pull away, though she still refrained from looking at her estranged-lover. “I know you’re angry and hurt. You have every right to be-”

“Thanks.”

It was mumbled, it was quiet, but it was sincere. At first Bonnibel thought she had imagined it until the Unifier continued, still quiet, still mumbled, but still sincere. “For saving me.” She rubbed her arm. “I’ll try to be good.” The princess blinked, only barely succeeding in repressing her elated smile.  _ She talked to me. She’s letting me touch her. She… thanked me.  _ Not wanting to push her luck too far, the younger woman kissed her forehead before rising. 

When the Unifier curled away she turned her attention to the Navigator. “Are you both still going to wait here?” 

The Navigator nodded. “Yeah. Probably take a nap.” She glanced behind the princess, her voice dropping once Finn and Jake followed Lady Evil outside of her office. “Don’t trust her, Bon. If it sounds too good to be true it is. Don’t ask her to make a deal without at least me there. She’s a schemer. A big one.” 

In the back of her mind Bubblegum wondered if she taught Lady Abadeer that as well. “I won’t, Marcy. We’re just going to go for a walk, then we’ll bring her back here to convince her to help us destroy the Usurper.” Not wanting to play favorites Bonnibel kissed her forehead as well, then rose. With one last smile as she saw the Unifier trying and failing to stay awake following her ordeal and followed her champions across the corridor, out of the main part of Lady Abadeer’s lair.

The three hadn’t made it far, and when she called out to them they stopped to let her catch up. “There’s my favorite nerd.” When she stuck her tongue out at the princess the princess retaliated in kind.  _ Chaos amulet or not she’s going to be nineteen forever.  _ Although Bonnibel knew that this musician was still part of  _ her  _ Marceline she still could not figure out what exactly she represented. All she could say was that the woman reminded her of a feral animal in a suit. A feral animal in a suit that lacked-

“Marcy, where’s your bass?”

The vampire stretched, a happy noise escaping her when her back popped back into place. It escaped no one’s notice that without either of her counterparts she was more relaxed. More spirited. More Marceline. But Bonnibel had too much experience in dealing with enemies who hid their true natures behind false humor and modesty, and it wasn’t a mistake she would suffer now. “Don’t need to carry it. I can just summon it when I want to fight or jam or stuff.” 

Jake tilted his head, and Bubblegum was pleased to see that he still possessed his stake at the ready. “But… the others can’t do that.”

“Nope. My lair, my rules.”

“Yeah, you keep saying that. You can eat actual food, you can summon your bass, you made the sky red… I mean, we’re supposed to be in the Nightosphere, right?”

“Its approximation, yeah.”

“Then why’s everything else different? None of this is in the real Nightosphere.”

She smirked, but said nothing as the two heroes scanned the world around them, the tall sleek buildings, the wrought iron fences, the massive stone bridges. It was true, none of it was in the real Nightosphere, but while the brothers couldn’t see the connection Bonnibel could. “You terraformed it. All of it.”

“Sick, right?”

Finn and Jake exchanged a confused look. “‘Terraformed’?”

“Terraforming is when you deliberately modify a planet or area’s atmosphere, topography, ecology, temperature… or really anything you need to shape it to your desire.”

“Natch.”

Finn’s eyes lit up. “Oh snap! Those buildings… they used to be the spires all the weaker dudes hid in, right?” He didn’t wait for an answer, pointing to the ground. “And that used to just be flat!” 

Jake pointed towards the massive bridges. “So those used to be like… those big demons? The ones that give people rides? And your lair is the Citadel? Oh! I bet the gate is like how the fire used to be boundaries?” All too late Bonnibel regretted feeding the narcissist’s ego. She was positively beaming and far too proud of herself. 

“Yup. All true. I’m just that awesome. In my lair my will is law, so I actually do stuff.” 

Bubblegum eyed her, refusing to dignify her bravado. “Is this the last Structure?” 

To her relief, the vampire nodded without boasting. “Yup. My lair, the Candy Kingdom - at least, until Usurper totalled it - the Tree Fort, and the Cave House.” 

The young scientist rested her chin in her hands with a soft, “Mm.” 

Perhaps elated by his discovery, Finn took the lead, walking backwards to watch his friends. By now he had realized the route Lady Evil had chosen; contrary to his previous fear that she was leading them into a trap he saw now that she truly was just going for a walk, taking a circuitous path that would be confusing, due to the repetitive background, if not for how large the Citadel was. “What’s up, Peebo?”

“Why those locations?”

“What do you mean?”

“This mindscape isn’t real, but it had to come from something. Why would Marceline’s mind choose those locations? Why not something else meaningful that she has a connection to, like Ice King’s mountain?”

“Why indeed,” Lady Evil teased.

It had been something nagging at Finn as well for the greater part of their journey. Everything in his friend’s mind seemed to have some symbolism, or at least some reason for being there. It was hard to imagine that something as important as the Structures wouldn’t be there for a reason either, but whatever it was it was just slipping through his fingertips. It was like an itch he couldn’t reach. While he was deep in thought Jake jogged to the front, shrinking and landing on Finn’s shoulder as he panted to catch his breath. “I got it! They’re all places you’ve lived before!” 

Finn caught on, grinning. “Oh man! They are! You lived in the Treehouse before you left for whatever. You live in the Cave House sometimes, and you - or, I guess, Unifier - told us that you basically moved into the Candy Kingdom. You even lived in the ruins! When you were a kid, with Simon!” 

Bonnibel’s eyes widened. “Of course! The answer was so simple, I was too smart to see it! And the Nightosphere? I never knew you ever lived there.”  _ But then… Hunson asked if Marcy wanted Jan to prepare her room…  _

Lady Abadeer laughed softly. “I did things before you found me, Bon.” All three waited expectantly for the Baddie to continue, but she never did and Bonnibel filed that revelation away in her mental safe to discuss with her less-violent vampires as soon as possible. For now, though, she had a mission to accomplish. 

“Thank you for sharing something so personal, Marcy. But that isn’t why we came to see you.” 

The half-demon raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? And why did you come, Bon?”

“We need your help.”

“Well that’s the understatement of the century.”

“Marceline, please don’t be a butt. The Usurper is on her way here right now. The Navigator and Unifier are strong, but they’re not strong enough to beat her. But you are. If you can stop her the Unifier can take her piece of the soul.” They stopped in front of the mangled gate bordering the entrance to the Citadel. A pink hand grasped a grey claw, running her thumb carefully over the talons, then over her wrist. “We came down here to bring you home. We’ve gone through a mondo lot of buzz to get to you. You were watching, you saw what we’ve been through and how long we’ve been at this.” 

Her head tilted. “What makes you think I want to help?” There was no accusation in the question, only curiosity. 

“If you wanted to kill us you’d have done so already. You’re just as strong as the Usurper and Tyrant, you said so yourself. And you’ve been waiting for us to come get you-”

Lady Evil clasped her claw around Bonnibel’s hand, surprisingly mindful of her talons. “Bon, I never said I was waiting for you to come get us, just that I knew, logically, that you’d come with that in mind. The Usurper can come here all she wants, but she can’t get through my barrier unless I let her.”

Finn frowned. “Dude, you’re just going to let her kill us. Kill Preebs?” 

The vampire held up her free hand. “Hold up. I never said that. You three are welcome to stay here all you want. If you want to go beyond my wall and leave I won’t stop you. Or I can help you get back to Ooo, since I seriously doubt you got here the way we did.” 

Bonnibel narrowed her eyes. “And what about the Unifier and Navigator?” 

She shrugged. “If they want to stay they can make themselves useful. Or I kick ‘em out. Fair’s fair.”

“So they can be your servants or they can die.”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Finn could do nothing to hide how hurt he felt. “Mar- Lady Evil, why don’t you come back to Ooo? Aren’t you gonna miss your bros and ladybro?” 

She scratched her neck, smirking deviously at the three before settling on Bubblegum. “Tell me, BonBon. Are you ever going to give up your plan of getting me to come back to Ooo?” 

The princess knew where this was going and grit her teeth. “No.” 

Now Lady Abadeer’s smirk was an audacious grin. “So if you’re never going to give up on getting me back topside… what motivation do I have to leave? You’ll already be here.” Sugary teeth ground. For a brief moment she considered recanting her statement, but knew that Lady Evil was unlike her other selves and could not be baited with such an obvious lie. She watched as the approximation of the woman she loved, the half-demon that so easily got inside her head, laugh softly, re-entering her Citadel.  _ That… butt!  _ The situation was quickly leaving her control and her hands fell into fists at her sides. They crumbled in front of her, where something familiar crinkled in her pocket.

She knew what she had to do.

“Marcy, wait.”

Lady Abadeer stopped, looking over her shoulder just before crossing the threshold into her office. Against the wall the princess noted both of her vampires dozing, and wasn’t sure if that was for better or for worse, given the situation. “Mmyes?” Bonnibel Bubblegum took a deep, steadying breath, knowing that she was about to make either the best or worst decision of her immortal life.

“I want to make a deal.”

Now the audacious grin was predatory and met her eyes. In one swift motion she turned to face her lover, a dark chuckle erupting from the back of her throat. “Well well well. When have I ever been able to say ‘no’ to you, BonBon?” 

With dual alarmed looks Finn and Jake immediately rushed in the lair proper to their half-demon friends. “Guys! Wake up! Preebo just told Lady Evil she wants to make a deal!” 

The Navigator recovered faster than the Unifier, already on her feet and in front of the princess, as if visually separating the two monarchs could undo what she just said. “What the flip, Bonnie?! What did I just say!” Now the Unifier was on her feet, joining her other self. “Seriously! What the lumps?! Are you-”

“Who speaks for you?”

The room fell silent; Lady Evil had returned to her desk, chin resting in her right claw as she watched them as if they were all nothing more than toys. Bubblegum eyed her only briefly before returning to the Navigator, the only person in the room with any experience in making deals with the twisted version of the woman she loved. “What does she mean, Marcy?” 

The Navigator shot a glare over her shoulder, but all Lady Abadeer did was wiggle her fingers in a mocking greeting, smiling innocently. “When you make deals with her you can’t all just make a deal together. You have to pick a representative. You know, someone who can act for all of you and make decisions and stuff. What that person agrees to go goes-”

“So they have to know what they’re doing.”

The Navigator nodded. “Yeah. I’ve done it the most, so it should be me.” 

To her irritation, the princess shook her head. “Marcy, I understand that, but this is a different kind of trade agreement than what you’re used to.”  _ She’s just another dignitary she’s just another dignitary she’s just  _ “I have the most experience dealing with these kinds of matters-” 

The Navigator sighed loudly. “Bon, I get that, but she knows you too well. You can get inside each other’s mindmeats too well. It’ll just get ugly. You’ve got lots of experience, but that’s not enough all the time-” 

“I got this.”

Both monarchs stopped mid-sentence, turning to the new voice.   
  
“...Jake?”

With a look of pure determination, the dog nodded to his friends. “Yeah. I got this.”

“But-”

“If I can convince Kim Kil Whan to let me live in his basement for a month I can convince Marce to help her bros help you help yourselves.”

Lady Evil cocked her head. “Kim Kil Whan…” She turned to the Navigator. “Do we know him?” 

Her weaker self nodded. “Yeah. Jake’s son. We traded the deed to the Tree Fort to him for a lunatic bass, remember?”

The Baddie nodded absently to herself, rising from her desk to approach the nondescript filing cabinet in the corner. She drew a talon over the metal silently until the top drawer popped open, a manilla file presenting itself. “Here we go.” She snatched it, looking over the information within as she spoke softly to herself. “Let’s see… Kim Kil Whan, 1 year old, biologically 30 years of age. Biological son of Jake the Dog and Lady Rainicorn. Half Rainicorn, one quarter Dog, one quarter Shape-shifter. Married, one child. Owner of K.K.W Enterprises.” The file slammed shut as she returned it to its rightful spot. “And he’s your son, you say?” 

Jake nodded proudly. “Yup!” 

The vampire smirked, returning to her desk. “Alright Jake.” Once more the pad of paper and pen were retrieved, placed at the ready.

“Let’s make a deal.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Wasted:
> 
> Neutral Good (Power Recovered: Telekinesis)
> 
> Neutral Evil (Power Recovered: Pyrokinesis)
> 
> Lawful Neutral (Power Recovered: Healing)
> 
> Lawful Good (Power Recovered: Flight)
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Not Wasted:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good


	21. Devil in the Details

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Look! It's still Saturday, so I didn't lie! Go me! I'm glad I split the last chapter, this ended up being much longer than I thought it was going to be. As a heads up, the next chapter might be slightly delayed due to something work-related.
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much for your comments/bookmarks/kudos. It's very encouraging, and you'd be honestly surprised how easily you can make a writer's day.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Shady Dealings  
> Reveal  
> Feels  
> Bonnie Learns an Important Lessons About Herself  
> Multiple References to Future Stories  
> Fatality

**** “Here’s how this is going to work.”

Chairs were rearranged as hierarchies shifted. Now Jake’s black chair sat immediately before Lady Evil, Bonnibel’s throne flanking the dog on his right, his brother on his left. He had originally attempted to just switch places with the younger woman, but a sharp glare from his opponent when he attempted to lower himself into the throne quickly extinguished that idea. While Jake seemed fine with the game of Shuffle the Chairs the candy golem had taken such a petty objection as a personal attack; to keep her appeased the Navigator was allowed to take a spot in her lap, and so the Baddie had to suffer a tiny glare from a tiny bat. Not that she seemed to mind, or notice in any way. The malevolent force’s original plan was to have the Unifier sit in the corner, deafened and blinded to the bargaining surrounding her fate as befitting her position of ‘lowly insignificant speck’, but after some bitter objections and expertly-wielded dual puppy-dog eyes Lady Abadeer begrudgingly decided to allow the Unifier to join the rest of the group, on condition she stay ‘within striking distance’ of Bonnibel, and that the princess ‘keep her leashed’. 

And so the tiny bat’s tiny glare was joined by a much larger glower of sheer hatred, the Unifier forced to sit on the hard ground as the end of her long mane was reluctantly gripped by pink hands. The young scientist was just as unhappy as her lover, but she knew, absolutely knew, that this was yet another test, and she knew why; the best way to deal with any adversary would always be to throw them off guard, to unbalance them so that they couldn’t quite steady themselves or their quality of thought.  _ I taught her that as well.  _ She watched the Unifier from the corner of her eye, flushed and embarrassed.  _ I’m sorry, Marcy. I’ll make this up to you.  _ Relegated to the status of ‘misbehaving housepet’, the vessel refused to look at anyone, friend or foe. No one blamed her.

The entire situation disgusted the princess. Another person was successfully dictating her actions and it was because they were using her squishy heartguts as a weapon against her, emotions she never asked to have in the first place and only recently - within the past few days to be precise - had come to terms with the fact that not only did she possess them, but that they could be good, healthy things under most circumstances. Her affections for her queen were being turned into a weapon against her, and the young scientist was fully aware of the irony.  _ This is exactly what I do to her. I turn her feelings for me into a trap to force her to do whatever it is I wish.  _ Logically, of course, Bonnibel knew that if she elected to shut down those stunted heartguts feelings Lady Evil would cease to have any power over her at all and she could easily turn the tide of this strange and unsettling battle, but that would be a complete rejection of all the hard work, love, and trust the Navigator, Tyrant, and Rechte placed in her.  _ Is this one of your ‘weird punishments’, Marcy? _

She knew better than to ask questions she didn’t want to know the answer to.

“I think we can all agree that if you want anything in life you gotta be prepared to give something up. That’s what this is. We’re gonna see if we can reach an agreement; you get what you want, I get what I want. Simple.” Despite the charged atmosphere Lady Evil was the picture of tranquility, and that only caused Bonnibel to bristle more. “Jake, you’ve been supplied one pad of paper and one pen, both of which you’ve agreed are functional. You’ve also agreed to define us as two parties for the sake of negotiation. I represent myself in Party A.” Bonnibel watched her indicate herself on the pad of paper as ‘Marceline Abadeer, Lady Evil of the Nightosphere’. “How are you indicating your party?” 

Jake picked up his own pen. “Alright, I’ve got us as Party B. Jake the Dog, magnificent representative on behalf of Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, Finn Mertens, Marceline Abadeer otherwise known as The Navigator, and Marceline Abadeer otherwise known as The Unifier.” 

Lady Abadeer nodded, taking her own notes. “Alright dweebs. Sign Jake’s side so that I know you’re okay with his deciding your very lives and futures. You know. No biggie.” Whatever her intention by that statement, there was no hesitation; even the Unifier signed without much thought. Bonnibel raised an eyebrow, watching her return to the floor out of the corner of her eye, every fresh, new instinct recently born within her wanting to comfort the clearly broken part of her lover, but knowing through that ancient logical part of herself so accustomed to tense foreign negotiations that while such an action may be helpful in the short term it would betray an important bargaining chip to Lady Abadeer. It would simply give away too much, because information was power and there was no way to tell yet how much Lady Evil had. “Cool. Now, why are you here?” 

Jake was already doodling in the corners of his form. “We’re here to kick the Usurper’s butt and get you guys home.”

“And what do you want from me?”

“Your help kicking her butt and getting you guys home.”

“Specifically, Jake.”

The dog shrugged. “You’re just as strong as she is. We want you to kick her butt until the soulshard toy surprise pops out, then give us the soulshard for Unifier to absorb.”

Lady Abadeer made a good show of looking impressed, even letting out a low whistle. “Mm. I dunno, Jake, that’s a lot to ask of me. She’s just as strong as I am, and I’m nice and comfy in my lair here. I don’t really have any reason to help you guys.”

Jake nodded, oddly calm. “Yeah, I know, you don’t really like us-” 

Lady Evil held up a talon, interrupting him. “Incorrect. I like Bonnie,” at Finn’s expectant stare she rolled her eyes, “and you and Finn… in a really different way. What I mean is that I’ve got no reason to help the ding dongs.” 

The elder brother rubbed his chin in pondrance. “Yeah, I hear ya. But I think we have something you want, or you wouldn’t be talking with us.” 

Her head tilted. “What if I’m just bored?” 

The older champion shrugged. “Yeah, you could be. But I dun think you are. I think you wanna play it cool, get my guard down, make me think you’re doing us a favor, then bam! You rob us blind.”

The half-demon gave a very convincing display of looking shocked, claw coming to rest over her heart. “Jake, are you accusing me of being shifty and cutthroat? I’m the most trustworthy queen in this room.” 

The dog opened his mouth, closed it, turned to look at the tiny spy-bat and humiliated vessel, then turned back to Lady Evil. “Okay,  _ technically  _ that’s probs true. But not the point.” He resumed doodling. “Point is, we want you to gank the Usurper and give Unifier the soulshard. You’re interested in helping us, so all we’re doin’ now is figuring out your price.”

“My price?” She sounded amused.

“Yup! That’s what Kim Kil Whan always said. Everyone has their price.” He trailed off then when he realized that she was sneering at the Navigator, who had once again turned away from the group, hiding her face in her princess’s abdomen. Bonnibel felt a stab in her heart, which hardened in self-defense. 

“Focus, Marceline.” The stern tone of her voice startled even her. 

Lady Abadeer rolled her eyes in derision, but returned her attention to Jake. “Well, you’re right in that I’m totes interested in reaching a deal if we’re having this conversation, but you’re asking a lot of me. Like I said, Usurper’s just as strong as me. Doesn’t stand as good a chance at beating me as Tyrant would have, but it’s still pretty risky biz. And then you want me to actually give her soulshard to this waste of energy? She didn’t even do anything to deserve it!” She gestured to the vampire in question absently. “Look, she’s not even having this convo with me, she’s letting you fight this battle for her, too.” 

Jake shook his head. “Uh uh. Don’t do that.”

“Don’t do what?”

“You wanna turn this into a thing about how she’s not worth all this junk and get our emotions all whacked out of place so our heads get all messed up. Not gonna work on this guy, though. You and I are talkin’ a trade and nothing else.”

As he spoke the Baddie musician fell silent, watching him blankly. Bonnibel recognized this strategy as well; silence was naturally uncomfortable, and prolonged episodes of it would entice nervous participants to start talking, causing them to reveal more than they should, weaken themselves more than they realized. It was a tactic the princess knew she had employed on Marceline rather successfully in the past, but, more importantly, her vampire had watched her use it successfully on others hundreds of times. She knew the strength of a pregnant pause, and when Jake didn’t give in to it she grinned sincerely and maliciously. “Oh, I like you. I’mma keep you.” She looked behind him, meeting Finn’s gaze as she pointed at his brother. “I’mma keep him.”

Oblivious to his younger brother’s confusion, Jake nodded solemnly. “Yeah, I know. I’m pretty great. So here’s how I see it, Lady Evil. Yeah, we’re asking you to do something that’s not exactly easy, and, yeah, on your own there’s no reason for you to lift a claw or… whatever. But there’s something you want, so don’t be bashful. Tell your bros, and let’s make this work.”

Lady Evil glanced from the dog to the remaining outsiders as if seriously pondering the question. As if she hadn’t already planned all of this ahead years ago. “You know, now that you mention it,” she sang, “… there is something I want. Or, you know, somethings.” Her attention returned to the group’s representative. “Here’s the deets. A wise, beautiful woman once told me that secrets are power and the best weapon against someone is their own strength.” Bonnibel felt her blood run cold as the narcissistic venom was returning to the musician’s voice. “So if you want me to help you guys out I’m gonna need something from each of you.”

“Lay it on us, Lady Evil.”

“I guess the best way to think about it… is that I want the thing you value most.” 

Jake narrowed his eyes. “You would.” 

Taking that as praise, Lady Abadeer nodded before sharply turning to look at Finn, relishing in his involuntary flinch. “You once told me you’re a helper, like your mother. That’s certainly true in Ooo, not gonna argue that. From what I’ve seen on the cameras you’ve been trying to protect everyone, including Linke, even as she prepared to straight up dead you. Pretty choice, don’t get me wrong. But protecting people, being a hero… that’s what you value most.”

“What do you want-”

“Your sword.”

He blinked, eyes flickering to the Navigator. For a tiny puffball she suddenly seemed awfully tense, head snapping back to the group. “...My sword?” 

The strongest royal smirked, either ignorant of her counterpart’s sudden alarm or just plain ignoring it. It was hard to tell with Lady Evil. She may even be enjoying it. “It’s a demon blood sword. It belongs in a demon, not in the hands of a human.” The more she spoke the more on edge the Navigator became, but just as she was about to loudly voice her objection she felt two warm fingers on the back of her neck and instinctively turned to look at their owner. She knew that look she received in return, and understood that Bonnibel was asking her to trust her. To trust Jake. The tiny bat bit its lip; by the time the wound healed she was already back in her original position, unsettled but no longer panicked.

Before Finn could finish his mental deliberation Jake nodded, both he and Lady Abadeer taking notes simultaneously. “I ‘unno, Lady Evil. Finn’s really attached to that thing.”

“I can see why. It’s a very nice sword. That’s made from our very nice blood.”

Jake didn’t rise to the challenge and she seemed almost disappointed. Without even visually confirming with his brother the dog scribbled on his pad of paper. “Okay, so that’s on the table. Do you want anything from Finn as an alternative?”

“Nope.” She made sure to pop the ‘p’. 

“Alright, got it noted. What do you want from me?”

There was the sound of a drawer sliding open and closed before a sealed white envelope was placed on the desk directly in front of Lady Abadeer, out of Jake’s immediate reach. “When we get out of here there’s a good chance we won’t remember everything that happened. Or perhaps just not all at once. I’m not the brainlord here. Either way, I have a message I want you to deliver to someone for me.”

“Why me?”

“Because I don’t want either Finn nor Bonnibel to know what it is,” she replied, infuriatingly calm. When the princess stiffened she felt a tiny body press against her abdomen and could already hear Marceline’s voice in the back of her mind:  _ Easy Bonnie.  _ With a quiet sigh she relaxed, petting down the small bat’s back in appreciation.  _ She always did know me better than I knew myself…  _

Jake, in the meantime, was looking rapidly between Lady Abadeer and the unopened letter, tempted beyond measure to grab it. By a small miracle he resisted, scribbling that offering on the paper as well. “Okay, we can add that. What do you want from the princess?”

No sooner had the words left his mouth the half-demon turned sharply to her mate, grinning her ill intent, either not bothering to hide her excitement or trying and doing a terrible job of it. She had been eagerly waiting for this one, that much was abundantly clear. “That’s easy. I want that.” It took a moment for Bonnibel to realize what that grey claw was pointing towards, but when she did she stared floored, unsure how anyone,  _ especially  _ Marceline -  _ any _ Marceline - could possibly have the audacity. “My crown?” Lady Evil smiled happily. Sweetly. “Why would you want my crown, Marceline?!” 

The older woman chuckled, clearly thrilled that she was able to get a rise out of the princess, however small. “Well, let’s see. Because it looks a little too heavy for your head. Because it’s shiny. Because I’m attracted to sentimentality. Because it takes you away from me and I’m possessive. Because you once told me you feel naked without it and you shouldn’t grant an object such power over you. Because just the very idea that I want it is making you this upset. Pick one or more reasons.” 

This time when Bonnibel flushed she knew for a fact it was due to anger and not embarrassment. “I’m not giving you my crown, Marceline. Pick something else.”

Now the half-demon looked at her with pity, a look that said ‘you’ve already lost, just accept it’. A look the princess gave others just before she destroyed them, when she already knew she’d won. “Bon, I didn’t say ‘if it pleases Her Majesty’. I’m not doing this without your crown.”

“Counter-offer. I’ll give you something else.”

“Tempting, but I’m kind of dead set on your crown. It’s a nice crown.”

“Yes it is, Marceline, which is why-”

Jake sighed loudly, drawing the attention of both bickering royals. “Look, let’s just put it down for now, okay? We haven’t actually settled on a price yet anyway.” The question was absolutely rhetorical, and he pressed on despite the displeased aura emanating from his princess. Doing nothing to hide her pleasure from the situation Lady Abadeer reluctantly turned away from her dissatisfied lover, back to the group’s representative. 

“See? I’m pretty easy to please.”

“Yeah, see guys? Not so bad-”

“Except… there is one more thing.” 

As she tapped her chin Finn frowned, watching the exchange silently.  _ It’s never a good thing when a bad guy says that.  _ Jake looked up from his paper, eyebrow raised.  _ It’s never a good thing when a bad guy says that.  _ “What other thing?” 

Her grin became cruel as she raised a talon, pointing to the tiny bat. “You gotta die…” the talon trailed to the Unifier. “...and you gotta do it.” Heavy silence choked the air. Jake dropped the pen on the desk, staring with wide eyes. Bonnibel clutched the edge of her jacket, finally breaking her stoic guise. But it was Finn who broke the spell. 

“...That’s jacked up, Abadeer.” 

Lady Evil’s display of surprise was almost convincing. Almost. “Why Finn, whatever do you mean?”

“Dude, she’s our friend! We’re not gonna just stake her!”

“Right. You aren’t. Unifier is. Her hands have been clean for far too long, and I’m tired of watching you do her dirty work for her. She spent years refusing to take responsibility for her role before you arrived. She owes the rest of us a debt. I’m just collecting.” She was too placid, too blase, but when the Unifier suddenly looked up with fangs bared Lady Abadeer dropped her pretense, glaring at her. “We just established that you’re property. Property doesn’t get to speak.” 

Not wanting to risk another fight that her possible-lover would definitely be on the wrong side of winning the princess placed her hand on the Unifier’s shoulder, easing her back down as she issued her yet another silent command, followed by yet another silent apology. To her immense relief the vessel only hesitated for a moment before resuming her position. The candy golem narrowed her eyes at the Baddie. “That’s enough, Marceline. Stop insulting her.” 

The musician tilted her head. “Is that going to be part of the contract? ‘Cause that’ll cost extra.”

As she felt her temper flare Bonnibel began to understand why Jake saw fit to take over negotiations. “We’re not paying you extra to not be a-”

She sighed dramatically. “Oh, Bonnie. If you’re going to become emotional over this I suppose I can throw it in for free. For old time’s sake,” she quipped. While Bubblegum balked at the mockery Jake coughed, redirecting Lady Abadeer’s attention to him.

“So, in addition to taking our things you want Unifier to gank the Navigator? That right?” 

She shrugged. “Just about. The thing, though, is that this has gotta happen  _ before  _ I’d fight Usurper. I don’t want Unifier trying to squirm her way out of it when she gets her precious soulshard. No takesie-backsies.”

Finn gaped. “Dude! Jacked! Up!”

The vampire sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’re not seeing the bigger picture here, but out of friendship I’ll show it to you. Bonnie wants us to be whole, so Navigator’s gotta die either way. Doesn’t matter who or when or how. I’m offering her a painless way out on her terms and the opportunity to say goodbye and grant you closure at your leisure. She’ll die surrounded by loved ones, happy and not being eaten by a Repressed Thought. Consider it her reward for her many years as a satisfactory henchman.” 

While Bonnibel coped with her skin crawling the Navigator rolled out of her lap, resuming her normal form as she patently ignored her lover’s protests. “If we agree, they take my soulshard as soon as I bite it. None of this ‘I never said you could have that’ junk. I get staked and they get it, you don’t get to claim it.” 

Lady Evil gave another overly dramatic sigh. “Fiiiine. They can have your soulshard. Just because I can see this is upsetting Bonnie, and I can’t have that, now can I?” It was impossible to tell if that statement was sarcastic, but just to be safe the princess decided to assume it was.

Jake tented his paws, watching his adversary. “Alright, let’s see what we’ve got so far. We, Party B, want you to gank the Usurper and stop insulting the Unifier.  _ We  _ get to decide what insulting her is, stop looking at her like that, serially, and yeah, it includes you hurting her. After you gank the Usurper  _ we  _ get her soulshard. You gotta give it to us as soon as we request it, you can’t just keep it and give it to us when you wants to. In return you, Party A, request the following. You want Finn’s sword, the princess’s crown, me to bring a mysterious message for you back to Ooo that mysteriously no one can know about, and you want Unifier to gank Navigator, but you’re agreeing that she gets the soulshard, not you in any way. Right so far?”

“Correct.”

“You want the Unifier to gank the Navigator before you have a duel to the death with Usurper.”

“Correct.”

“Why?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

_ Oh, like that’ll work.  _ “Dude, I’m not gonna just not worry about it because you told me not to.”

“That’s your choice. Freedom of choice is a very important facet in life.”

“And what happens if you bite it? We’d need the Navigator to help fight off the Usurper.”

“Fair point, but I don’t care. Besides, it’s not like her power is disappearing. It’s going back with the whole. Unless… you don’t trust the Unifier?”

He scoffed and the Baddie smiled innocently. “...and you’re just not gonna do this without the princess’s crown?”

“Nope.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Her crown here, or her realzorz crown in the realzorz Ooo?”

At first Lady Evil said nothing. She merely turned to look at her mate, appraising her in a way the princess was entirely uncomfortable with.  _ Is this how I look at you, Marcy? Like you’re-  _ Perhaps realizing that the younger woman was done with the situation she chuckled, turning back to Jake. “Oh, I like you. You’re fun. I want her  _ real  _ crown-”

“No way-”

“But!” She eyed Bonnibel, a silent request for her to relax. “I’ll take this one as payment if, when we return to Ooo, she’s willing to hear me out. I’ll make a deal for the real crown then. No requirement that she trades with me there, she’s just gotta hear me out.” 

“You mean if you even remember. You just said that there’s a donkin’ chance you might not.”

The glint in her eye was dangerous. “Yup. If I remember.”

Bubblegum sighed in exasperation, but reached for her crown.  _ Why would you possibly want my crown here? Is this your scheme, Marcy? Humiliate me?  _ To her surprise her estranged mate held up a claw, stopping her before the tiara even left her head. “Nah, keep it on for now. It’ll bother Usurper.” 

A pink eyebrow raised.  _...Why?  _ Jake waited for the young scientist to straighten her remaining symbol of authority before continuing the negotiation. “So you’re cool with getting the crown after we get the soulshard?” 

The rockstar shrugged. “That’s fine. But I want partial payment up front.”

“Killing Navigator isn’t enough?”

“Nope. You benefit from that, too, since it makes the Unifier stronger and more stable. I want something you  _ won’t  _ benefit from. I want Finn’s sword before I even lift a talon to help you.”

The Navigator’s eyes widened. “Don’t give it to her, Jake!” 

When pinned garnet eyes shot to her the weaker vampire winced and fell silent. Perhaps out of the desire to finish the transaction, or perhaps out of concern for his friend, Jake stretched an enlarged paw, disrupting the Baddie’s view from her other self. “I’m not gonna ask why she doesn’t want us to give you the sword before we even do anything, but I’m gonna guess it has to do with this whole ‘you’re kind of pure evil’ thing.” Lady Abadeer shrugged once more, but didn’t disagree. “Then yeah, we’re not giving that to you ‘till after.”

Lady Evil pouted. “Aw, come on, Jake. I’m an entirely trustworthy person.”

“That’s the lie-est lie that was ever a lie.”

“You wound me. Figuratively I mean. You won’t give me Bonnie’s crown or Finn’s sword, but you’re okay with Unifier actually being worthy of her title for once. That’s not enough, though, so here’s what I want. You gotta deliver a message, something you can’t share with  _ anyone _ , we already decided that. So I’m gonna give it to you  _ before  _ I do anything. You gotta memorize it, then I’m destroying it. You forget it or you tell anyone what it is before you deliver it to the proper person in Ooo, I’m out of the contract, and you’re on your own with Usurper. If I’m kicking her butt and I hear you shout the message out I’ll drop everything I’m doing and you’re on your own. That kind of deal.”

The dog narrowed his eyes. “So you’re tryin’ to put the fate of everything on my muscular shoulders.”

She smirked. “You wanted to represent Party B. You get to memorize something absolutely juicy and not get to share it.”

Jake’s tone became sad. “Wait, it’s juicy?”

“Oh yeah. Lemme put it this way. If LSP were here every single kingdom, including the Nightosphere, would already know.” Her voice dropped to an awed whisper. “It could change  _ everything _ .” 

The hero whimpered, eyes darting back and forth between his adversary and his friends. When he hesitated Finn gaped. “Jake!,” came the frustrated reply. With a groan his brother nodded. 

“Fine. I’ll do it. Because I’m good.” Lady Evil gave a smile that in any other circumstance would have been charming. Bonnibel knew that smile now. It was the look Marceline gave her when she just did something devious, something the princess had yet to figure out but was most certainly going to cause her grief in the near future. Marceline had always been gifted in finding loopholes, and the princess had to assume  _ this  _ Marceline, whatever she represented, was no different, if not better.  _ What are you up to, Marcy?  _ Jake reached for his pen, then stopped and rubbed his chin. “You know… you never told us what happens  _ after  _ you stop the Usurper. You know. With the ‘going back to Ooo’ thing.” 

Lady Evil stretched her shoulders, obviously bored with the situation. “Let me focus on killing Usurper first. Then, when I’m done, we can have a nice chat about my terms of surrender.” He squinted suspiciously, and she placed a claw over her heart. “I promise.”

“Just like that?”

She chuckled softly. “I don’t like making contracts within contracts, Jake. Too messy. You want me to do a job, that’s cool. But if you want me to a do a  _ second  _ job - in this case, going back to Ooo - we work that out after.” He looked unconvinced. “Or, you know…,” she removed her claw from her heart, examining her talons, “you could keep trying to nitpick every teeny detail now, wasting valuable negotiation time. I mean, it’s not like she’s on her way here right now. Just seems to me like we should focus on what matters right now right now, and worry about the follow-up contract after.” He frowned and glanced over his shoulder at his friends, then back to his business partner. She didn’t look sincere-  _ But would I trust her even if she did? _

“Well, I’m game-”

“Ask her when she plans to gank the Usurper.”

The look Lady Evil shot the Unifier was toxic. It was a warning with enough firepower to cause even the mere mortals to flinch, but the Unifier held her ground, glaring back from her position on the floor. The sound of talons extending echoed through the office, but the Unifier held her ground. “I thought I just made it clear that property. Can’t. Talk.” The vessel’s response was to stiffen, eyes slitting; when Bonnibel realized it was in preparation of  _ being  _ attacked, rather than  _ attacking _ , she gently dropped her makeshift leash and reflexively pulled the queen against her leg, a silent and deliberate gesture of dominance that could only possibly translate as  _ ‘mine, do not touch’.  _ Pinned demonic eyes quickly refocused to a new target so very pink and perfect, perhaps in challenge, perhaps in curiosity, but all on the candy golem. Regardless of Lady Abadeer’s intention, Bubblegum was done watching the Unifier take the blunt of the Baddie’s wrath.  _ I have a responsibility to you, Marcy. You’re mine, and I won’t let her forget that.  _ It was an odd feeling to the princess, those squishy and pointy feelings she only recently admitted to owning merging with that darker side of her, but that was what was happening now. And as a warm, pink hand came to rest over the Unifier’s shoulder in a subtle command to stay by her princess, where she could be protected from the homicidal woman, Bonnibel Bubblegum realized she approved. If the ease in which the Unifier relented was any indicator she approved of it as well. Or perhaps she was just afraid of Lady Evil.  _ Hopefully that first one, though. _

Lady Evil searched her lover’s eyes and evidently liked what she found, because the atmosphere of hostility to faded. “Very well. Full disclosure: I can’t actually kick the Usurper’s butt unless she enters my lair.”

Finn waited for the punchline, but it never came. “You’re kidding,” he repeated for a third time that day.

“‘Fraid not, kid. My domain is my lair. If she just chills outside my fence she’s not my problem.”

Jake narrowed his eyes. “Dude, we’re not paying you extra to-”

Her claws raised in defense. “Wish that was the problem. But, it’s not. My claws are tied.”

“What if she came into your lair, then left again?”

“Then I can rip her head off. But like I said, I’ve got absolute rule  _ in my lair.  _ If she doesn’t invade  _ my lair  _ then she’s got her own thing going on and isn’t a threat.” He looked unamused and she shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry about it, though. She’s way too chaotic to just sit outside my front door and not come inside when she sees you guys.”

“And when are you gonna let her in?”

“When do you want me to?”

Jake considered this, looking over his friends once more in search of validation. “Can you do it the moment she gets here?”

“Yup!”

“...Fine. She gets here, you open the door, when she walks in you punch her in her stupid face.”

With a smile she clicked and she began to write. “I’m drafting the contract now. The entirety of Party B should read it before signing it. Or don’t. Whatevs. Only you are your own boss, you know?” She nodded sagely and Bubblegum felt herself grip her throne with her free hand. When she felt the Unifier lean against the elaborate chair she smiled sadly, dropping her cupped hand.  _ Sorry, Marcy. I forgot I was restraining you. ...And if that isn’t an allegory for what I’ve done to you for the past five or six hundred years I’m not sure what is.  _

Her mental beratement was interrupted when she heard someone call her name. “Mm?” Jake was holding the pen out to With a resolute sigh the princess took the pen, turning it over in her fingers absently. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the Navigator kneeling before the Unifier, but was unable to make out their soft whispers. All she could make out was the realization that her lover was about to die.  _...I’m so sorry, Marceline. Please forgive me for this.  _ With a pointed look towards Lady Abadeer she signed her name and title before handing the paper back to her foe. With a gentle smile the Baddie added her own. Whistling softly, she snatched the paper and returned to her nondescript filing cabinet, opening it once more with a drag of her claw before filing it. 

“Aaaand there we go! Pleasure doing business with you.” She pushed the door closed, slowly crossing the room as she returned to her seat. “Per our agreement, I don’t lift a talon until the Unifier ganks Navigator. Take your time. I know this must be very upsetting to you.” If she were not the one who issued the death sentence Bonnibel would have been almost convinced she was being sincere about the respect she was showing. It sounded too real, with no trace of mockery or irreverence. “Jake, while you’re doing that I’m going to get the note ready for you, mmkay?” But of course it was, and the vampire pulled out another sheet of paper, no longer paying any attention to the group.

With a sad smile the Navigator stood, pulling her counterpart up with her and offering a sad wave to her friends. “Well, guess this is it, guys.” 

Bubblegum took a deep breath before taking her cool hand as she stood. “Guys, just give us a second.” Unable to look at them, the young scientist pulled her doomed lover to the opposite corner of Lady Evil’s office, out of range of her sensitive hearing; no matter what happened next she refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing her heart break. As she struggled to find something to say a grey hand cupped her cheek. She refused to turn her head. 

“Hey, come on Bon,” the Navigator softly pleaded, only continuing when her mate relented. “There. You know… there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you since we got to the Tree Fort.” The Navigator’s eyes flickered to the others, only continuing once she was assure that their conversation would be confidential. “After what the Usurper did to you and Tyrant... all I could do was hold you. I couldn’t think of any way to make it better for you, and the whole time I was holding you all I could think to myself was what I’d do if our situations reversed. If I held some part of you and had to… do what you did for me. And I realized I would never be able to make that sacrifice.” The Navigator paused, seeing the green eyes she loved fill with tears and having the decency not to draw attention to it. “I really can’t imagine how much this reeks for you, and I know it hurts you more every time. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice. Being what I am kinda makes me more aware of buzz like that.” Her thumb wiped away a traitorous tear. She didn’t draw attention to that either. “You gotta remember though, I’m not gone. I’m still Marceline. A huge part of her, too, and I’m just going to meet up with Rechte, Tyrant, Linke, and Arbitrator’s soulshards. After me there’s just Usurper and the wad left. Then you get to bring us home.” Her free grey hand laced fingers with a warm pink one. “I’m still me. And when I’m whole again I’ll  _ still  _ be me. You’re not losing me, Bon. Not really. It just looks like that. It’s actually the opposite.” Bubblegum looked away, and the Navigator let her. “When Unifier absorbs my part she’s gonna be almost whole, Bonnie. She’s just gonna be missing Usurper’s rage and… whatever the wad is. You’re almost there. Then we go back to Ooo, and you can show us all the stuff we don’t even remember we miss, like what the moon and stars look like. We’ll get to go home, with you and the dinks. That’s where we belong, and this is just another step to get there.”

Bonnibel sighed, covering the cool hand on her cheek, speaking so softly the Navigator would have missed it entirely, if not for her impressive ability to hear. “I’ve been the most unfair to you and Tyrant, Marcy. You’re the closest thing you all have to a moral compass, and you’re sentiment itself. You’re a humongous part of my Marceline, and… I just…” She sighed once more, deeper, and she felt the laced fingers squeeze in reassurance. “I used you against yourself. You just wanted my affection and I turned that into a weapon. I spent so long forbidding you from hurting yourself, but I didn’t care that  _ I  _ was using you and hurting you. Even when we get home I don’t even know if I’m capable of changing that. I’ve almost killed you twice now with my hubris, and once is too many. What if I bring you home just to do it all over again?” The Unifier’s ire echoed through her mind.

_ You wanted another chance, yeah. I get that. But without the Tyrant in me I can see how many ‘another chances’ we’ve given you without even knowing we were doing it… I don’t think another chance will do anything except show you that you can twist me around your little finger. That… even if you do something this bunked up I’ll still do what you want when everything’s settled. _

“What if… I just take your love for me and use it against you all over again?” 

The Navigator’s sad smile turned soft. “Come on, Bon. It’s not like you to doubt yourself like this. Yeah, you messed up. ...A lot. No way around that. But if we get back and are willing to try trusting you then you gotta trust yourself, you know? Otherwise you’re just abandoning us. We don’t do anything we don’t wanna do. Right now you’ve kind of been forced to look at all the bad things you’ve done to us, ‘cause they’ve just been building up and hurting us. But just because you’re surrounded by bad stuff doesn’t mean there’s  _ only  _ bad stuff. You gotta stop thinking the past whatever-hundred years have been a big ball of suck for us, because if that was true we wouldn’t still be here. You’re ignoring all of the good things you’ve done for us.” The young scientist quieted, but her tension was a dead giveaway that she disagreed and the Navigator kissed her forehead. “You gave up your shirt to get Hambo back, then you didn’t even say anything about it until you had to due to the whole…” She coughed, not wanting to remind her of What Happened With Maja. “Remember when you spent days making those earbuds for us to help us drown out the silence? You were even the one to figure it all out. You know, what was wrong with us. We had no idea it was even a thing. We wanged your castle apart because we flipped out, and then we bolted when we snapped out of it.” 

The response was a muttered, “It wasn’t your fault. You just had a panic-”

The Navigator once more turned her lover to look at her. “That’s kinda my point, Bon. If you didn’t already know what we were capable of you  _ definitely  _ knew then. The thing that would make sense would’ve been to banish us. Or worse. But you didn’t, remember? We came back to grovel and all you did was hold us and tell us it would be okay. Then you  _ made  _ it okay. It wasn’t just fancy lies. You made it okay and you never once held it against us.” Bonnibel didn’t resist when her vampire held her. “Tyrant was right. Yeah, you can be pretty manipulative and I’m pretty sure your ego should have its own national flag, but those are just part of who you are. You can use them as Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum all you want and intimidate the stuff out of Ooo all you want because you’re a scary lady when you wanna be, but you’re always just gonna be our nerd with weird taste in clothing. And I think when Unifier absorbs my soulshard she’s gonna agree with me, Rechte, and Tyrant. Then it’s four to three. You’ll have your work cut out for you when we get home, no way around that-”

“But Marce-”

“Just go with it, Bonnie. I know, I know, ‘we can’t all just wing it’,” she mocked her reluctance with air quotes and everything, “don’t give me that look. But right now you’re gonna have to go outside of your comfort zone and you just gotta flow with it. You can’t control everything. You  _ shouldn’t  _ control everything.” The candy golem wanted to argue, almost did, then remembered that trying to control everything was how this mess happened in the first place and held her tongue. Instead she nodded, relaxing in her mate’s embrace. “See? It’ll be alright. Unifier’s probably gonna be messed up for awhile though, I know absorbing us hurts her a butt-ton. But I think you can handle it, and I know she can. You don’t need to change who you are, you dork. Your abilities can be a weapon, but you can also use them to do good stuff. Like how you’re a mad skilled liar, right?” It was a factual question which deserved a factual answer, and so she nodded. “But you use that to protect the Candy Kingdom, not just control it. You know when it’s better for the candy peeps to just not know what’s going on and when you need to be real with them. All those times you tried to control me weren’t just to make your life easier, Bon. You were trying to protect me, too. Just… in kind of a messed up way.” By some dint of will the morbid humor edged through, and the princess’s lips quirked in a smile before she could order them not to. “We’re not so different. You know that. You’re just now learning to accept that you shouldn’t use weapons by default just ‘cause it’s easier.”

The smile quirked a second time as she felt a decision cement in her ample mind. “When we get home, Marcy… if you can find it within you to forgive me, we’re going to spend an entire week doing only what you want to do.” 

The ghost of a wince crossed garnet eyes. This wasn’t the first time the candy golem had made such a vow. “Bon, you’ve got princess junk-” 

The young scientist laughed bitterly. “Marcy, let’s be for real. The kingdom’s not gonna fall apart if I leave Pep-But in charge for a week, but I’ve spent glob knows how long ignoring you. I neglected  _ you _ the most-”

“It’s alright-”

“Marceline, please don’t say that.” The abrupt, firm tone was startling, but she kept silent. Far be it for the Navigator to discourage Bonnibel opening up to her. Especially now. “This is the second time my hubris has almost gotten you killed for realz. The first time it happened you forgave me and told me it was alright. And maybe it was, then… but I shouldn’t have treated it like a non-issue. It made me complacent. It made me forget what it was like to come within minutes of losing you forever. It was terrifying and I should have  _ remembered  _ that it was terrifying. But this,” she gestured to the world around them, “isn’t alright, and to tell me otherwise is to undermine your own suffering on my behalf. ...Again.” The Navigator remained quiet, too unsure of what to say to a realization like that from the woman you loved. 

But Bonnibel wasn’t finished, her overactive mind unable to stem the tide of her confession. “I just…” She sighed deeply, the feeling of emotional cleansing foreign and not entirely welcomed. “You were always there, even when I pushed you away. Somewhere along the way, in the glory of establishing a powerful monarchy and the thrill of controlling the greater part of Ooo, I forgot that I should be grateful for you always being there and came to expect it of you instead. If you deviated from that expectation I would become furious because I had unreasonable… no, I had cruel expectations of you. You and I are immortal, so time never seemed like a pressing matter for us, whereas it is for the duties I must undertake on a daily basis. My citizens. Foreign dignitaries. Common law. To me those had legitimate expiration dates whereas you were always there regardless, and so I was sure there would always be time for us later. I just became so focused on everything that wasn’t you that I lost count of how many meteor showers we’ve missed. But… then I almost lost you not once, but twice, and I understand now that immortality isn’t something I should consider a given.” She sighed once more, lighter now, the weight in her chest less vice-like. “I can’t promise I’ll succeed, because I’m still me… but I promise I’ll try to do better, and when we get home I’ll make sure you recover. That  _ we _ recover. So no matter what it is you want to do, we’re doing it. Okay?” 

The half-demon paused, utterly demonstruck. With a soft smile she pulled her lover against her. “I’d like that.”

Their moment of peace was interrupted when the Navigator felt two long, furry arms wrap around her, followed by two shorter ones. She smiled nervously at the brothers, rubbing the back of her neck. She should have known that she wasn’t getting out of this without having to account for her own act of betrayal, and the doomed vampire only hoped her last moments as an independent entity wouldn’t be filled with four disapproving mortal eyes. “Hey guys. So. Sorry about the cameras-” 

Jake stared at her, wide-eyes filled with tears as he buried his face in her shoulder. “You’re such a saint!” 

Whatever the half-demon was expecting, that wasn’t it. “Uh…”

“You did all that just to feed us when you didn’t need to!” Finn’s eyes widened.  _ Jake don’t tell her we wouldn’t have star-  _ But there was nothing to worry about. “You could’ve just let us be ruled by hungies but you did all that for your bros! You had our backs and you weren’t even gonna tell us!” He sniffled. “That’s true friendship!” 

The best way to describe the Navigator was ‘uncomfortable’, and she looked to Finn in desperate need of rescuing. He did nothing to help, hugging her just as tightly as his brother. “Nah Marce. He’s right. You made that mondo long journey like a hundred times and sacrificed yourself just to keep us safe and protect us. You didn’t even brag about it! I’m gonna think that if Abadeer hadn’t told us what you did you wouldn’t have. Right?” Her averting his gaze in silence was all the answer he needed. Jake held her tighter, only loosening his grip when he realized he was also hugging the princess by extension. Finn sighed and pulled away, catching and keeping his vampiric friend’s gaze. “Look, Marce. I don’t know what your deal is with me not calling you a good guy or you not thinking you’re a good guy. I know, like… you all do it, even Arbitrator, and even she thought she was you guys at your best. I dunno why it’s a thing, and I’m not gonna ask, because I think you’ll tell your bros when you’re ready to talk about it. But I don’t really buy it. Jake’s right. You even made me a sword from your own blood so that I’d have a way to protect us! So yeah, not buying the whole ‘none of us are good guys’ thing. I don’t care what you say, I think you’re a good guy.” He smirked, undermining her attempt to interrupt him. “And now I know that Whole Marceline has a secret noble side. I mean, I kinda suspected that when you helped us get our stuff back from the Door Lord-”  _ and when you helped me in the spy room when I broke down  _ “-but this just confirms it. Busted, ladybro.” 

The Navigator narrowed her eyes at him. In response he only smiled innocently, accompanied by Jake’s grin. “...Yeah, try that when we get back to Ooo. See how well it goes for you.” With a deep breath to aid in her resisting homicide she flicked her eyes over the gallant heroes’ shoulders. There was still one thing left to do. “Jake, I need the stake.” Now the dog’s good humor fell away, but he did as asked just before the Navigator left the group to join her non-evil counterpart. “Hey, Unifier.” The queen glared but said nothing, and the Navigator rolled her eyes. “Come on, don’t be that way.”

After a tense moment the musician sighed. “I can’t believe you’re letting the wad do this to you.”

She shrugged. “Come on, guy. We always knew I’d have to bite it at some point.”

“Yeah… but like this?”

Her smile was understanding. “As much as it pains me to say, she’s right. At least this way I got to say bye, and I get to go out fast. Besides, now you’ll have my power, just in case she tries to be sneaky after she kills the Usurper.” She rolled her eyes. “And I’d rather you be the one to do it anyway, ‘cause it’ll mean more from you.”

The Unifier raised an eyebrow. “For real?”

“Yeah. Think about it. You and I have been together the longest, even before the Dork Patrol got here. Yeah, I had to disappear sometimes to do stuff, but I lived in the Cave House, too. Except for Linke and Rechte you and I have been together the longest. If it was Usurper or the wad they’d just think it’s funny, and no way I’m getting eaten by a monster.” When the Unifier narrowed her eyes the Navigator placed her hand on her shoulder. After a quick glance over her own she dropped her voice, entirely unaware of the small brown ear spying on their confidential conversation, or the knowledge that its owner was relaying the speech. Because if there was one thing Jake loved more than eating and sleeping, it was snooping. Of course, this time it was at the behest of a very worried princess who needed some semblance of guidance to know what to do once the Navigator was gone and she was left alone with the Unifier for the first time since she first arrived in the Cave House, but neither vampire needed to know that.

“I know it hurts to absorb us, and I know it just hurts more every time you do it. I’m a huge chunk of our psyche, the biggest you’ve eaten, except for Tyrant. This is gonna suck for you, no way around it. Let the Dork Patrol help. Let  _ Bonnie _ help. But we’re almost whole. Either the wad or Usurper is gonna kill the other, then you just gotta get their soulshard, too. Then we go home. I don’t know what’s gonna happen when we get there, but we got this. Kay?” Without waiting for confirmation she thrusted the wooden stick of death into her counterpart’s hand, eyes lighting in a sudden idea. “Oh, wait a second. Just one last thing I gotta do.” With a smirk she returned to the group, giving Jake just enough time to retract his ear. “Alright, dweebs. I’m outta here. Don’t do anything dumb. Oh, and nerd alert?” When she took her hand and brought it to her lips there was an unmistakable pinch. When she pulled away there was an unmistakable, very conspicuous grey spot belong two tiny punctures. Bonnibel tightened her lips and the Navigator almost cackled as she returned to her fellow half-demon. “I’m still me, Bon. Besides… it’s been like a hundred years since I’ve tasted-”

“Marceline!”

From across the room Lady Abadeer snickered, but said nothing. Once the Navigator returned to the Unifier she offered one last hug; to the collective shock of the outsiders the Unifier hugged her back. “Ready for this, dweeb? Try not to miss.”

“Oh shut up. Dillweed.”

The Navigator died laughing, falling to ash with her beloved bass.

If the Unifier had any intention of hesitating to absorb the soulshard it was quickly disregarded by the soulshard itself, which practically shoved itself down her throat. The pain hit her swiftly and was immense. When the Unifier first began to absorb soulshards it was equal parts pain and pleasure. Somewhere around the second or third one the pleasure gave way to pain, which now overwhelmed her. With a sharp hiss of a gasp her eyes pinned and she dropped to her knees, the stake falling to her side. Her eyes slammed shut as she clutched her head, the anguish of feeling her temples splitting in two almost blinding her anyway. She began to gasp, a poor attempt at coping with the suffering, her body curling in on itself. It took only moments for Bonnibel to reach her, and she was immediately pulled into her arms, her head against her chest. Had Jake not spied on her vampires she would have been entirely unprepared for what was happening, wouldn’t understand that what she was witnessing was sheer agony. The Unifier hissed at the abrupt movement, but didn’t pull away. “Hurts…,” she whispered. Bubblegum pulled her closer, gently rubbing her back. When she spoke it was gently, having successfully kept the worry out of her voice. 

“I know, Marcy. It’ll be over soon, I promise…,” she soothed.  _ Of course… I have no idea if that’s true. It could very well be a lie. I know I promised to stop lying to you, but… does this even count? Or is this further indication that my behavior-  _ Her mental dissection of her own logic was interrupted when she felt her musician curl into her. As she continued her attempts to soothe the Unifier Finn frowned, turning his attention to Lady Abadeer. It seemed that despite the heartfelt conversations she had indeed kept her word and stayed out of it. In fact, she appeared to be doodling. “Can you numb her, like you did before?” 

The Baddie looked up and gave him an apologetic smile. “Can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Seriously, I can’t. This is a thing unique to her. I have to know how something works to do it.” At his disbelieving look she placed her claw over her chest. “Promise. I don’t like seeing Bonnie in distress, and if I could stop it I would.”

“Eh. I buy it.”

Finn turned to his brother, blinking. “Dude, wha?”

“Abadeer hasn’t actually done anything to the princess. I get the feeling she likes her more than she hates the Unifier. Right?”

Lady Evil shrugged. “Sure?”

Finn’s expression fell.  _ That wasn’t an answer, Marce. Ugh, they all do that.  _ When the shuffling stopped he turned to the candy golem, who was still holding the Unifier. Though her eyes were open, and she was blinking, they seemed unfocused. “Is she okay?” 

The younger woman nodded, taking great care not to move her lover. “She’s just dazed. This happened last time as well, though this is more profound.” She kissed the top of her head. “See? It’s okay, Marcy. Just rest.” 

Satisfied that Bonnibel had the situation handled, Finn addressed Lady Abadeer once more. “What happens now?” 

Evidently satisfied with her payment, the stronger half-demon set aside her drawings - if he didn’t know any better the boy would think it almost looked like sheet music - and threw her legs back on her desk. “You all took quite a long time to reach me, so I’d expect Usurper to be here shortly. I’ve allowed my lair to become visible, but the entrance will remain locked until I open it.” 

Jake tilted his head. “Hey, question. You had a file on Kim Kil Whan. Who else do you have dirt on?” 

She smirked. “Everyone. A wise woman once told me that information is the greatest ammunition you can ever ask for.” The queen didn’t need to look at her to hear Bonnibel’s second sharp intake of breath, but neither said anything and neither brother seemed to notice.

“So… can we look?”

To his surprise, Lady Abadeer seemed to carefully consider the validity of that curiosity. “Mm. Tell ya what.” In one swift motion she stood, returning to her filing cabinet. Tactfully ignoring the prone Unifier and flustered princess. A grey talon tapped the top. “I’ll let you look at my files, but a couple rules. You can’t look at your own files, you can’t look at  _ my  _ file, and you can’t look at Bonnie’s file.” This was good enough for Jake, whose previous irritation towards the half-demon was forgotten in favor of gossip. He all but ran to the cabinet, waiting expectantly. She raised an eyebrow. “ _ You  _ get one file and that’s it. You need to hold up your end of the deal, remember?” 

His grumbling indicated he did. “So, anyone I want?” 

She smirked. “Yup. Just not yourself, me, or Bonnie. Choose wisely.” 

While Jake weighed his options Finn joined him, glancing at the cabinet only briefly. “Why can’t we look at our own? I mean… we could just look at each other’s and then tell each other what it says, right?”

“Yup. Totes can.”

“Then why?”

She grinned. “Finn, you have no idea what I actually know about all of you. I’m over a thousand years old and have a flawless memory. I’ve helped  _ Bonnie  _ spy on people for years. Way longer than you’ve been alive. I don’t care if someone is your best bud or your brother or what. Knowing stuff? That’s power. And when you know something about someone else that’s power over them. Jake’s your bro, but if all this,” she gestured to the world around them, “proves anything it’s that you gotta ask yourself ‘how well do I really know someone?’. So go ahead, read each other’s files, tell each other what’s in them. Hopefully you trust each other enough to be honest about it.”

Finn didn’t like what she was implying. “Jake and I are bros. We wouldn’t hide stuff from each other like that just ‘cause we could.”

“Yeah, I guess not.” She tapped her chin. “Just because the circumstances arose doesn’t mean that they’ll mean anything, right?”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like wandering into a  _ city  _ of thieves will turn someone  _ into  _ a thief.”

“Ex-” He stopped. Stared.

She smiled innocently. “Whose file did you want?”

He continued to stare, then backed away slowly. “You know what? I’m good. Right, Jake?” 

His brother looked less than convinced, turning a longing gaze from the cabinet, to Finn, back to the cabinet, then back to Finn again. “Aw, come on, man! All the dirt’s right there!”

“Jake!”

“Fine,” he grumbled. “Now what do I gots to do?”

“Spoilsport.” Lady Abadeer turned on her heel, returning to her desk to snatch the white envelope. Once Jake caught up to her she handed it over. “Read it. Memorize it. When you’re done tell me so I can set it on fire or something. Remember: it’s a  _ secret _ . Wouldn’t want to tell anyone about the  _ secret _ and-” 

Jake whined. Loudly. “Stop saying that! It makes me wanna tell peo- ...ooohhh, I get it.” His eyes narrowed. “Stop that.”

While Lady Abadeer was engrossed in tempting Finn and Jake to fall from grace Bonnibel’s attention was reserved entirely for the Unifier. Even without the Navigator’s clandestine comment to the vessel it hadn’t escaped the younger woman’s notice that every time the vampire absorbed a piece of her soul the process took longer and appeared more excruciating than the time before. She hadn’t exactly lied to Finn; when the Unifier had absorbed Rechte’s soulshard she had been disoriented then as well, but what she hadn’t mentioned was that this was the first time she had briefly lost consciousness, and the first time she had all but doubled-over. Given Marceline’s exceptional pain threshold Bubblegum could only begin to imagine how much must truly be involved in the process of becoming whole, but she knew of a lovely red velvet hand towel at the castle with Marceline’s name on it when this was all over. For now, though, the scientist was almost at a loss of where to go from here; without Rechte, the Navigator, or the Tyrant she was on her own entirely to figure out how to handle the Unifier, and it did not escape her that this was the first time the two had been alone since moment before the Tyrant, Finn, and Jake challenged the Usurper, a conversation that almost ended explosively. Literally.  _ Still… Lady Evil mentioned that she smelled uncertain about the vote. Perhaps…?  _ Even in her own thoughts she dare not voice any hope that this may mean the now third-strongest queen may flip her vote regarding The Bubblegum Problem, both because Bonnibel couldn’t stand getting her hopes up and because she had greater concerns at hand.

_ Just go with it. _

As the princess watched the Unifier gradually start to regain full consciousness she pulled the older woman closer.  _ ‘Just go with it’, Marcy? But my ‘just go with it’ is what got us- No. Stop that, Bubblegum. For once just listen to someone other than yourself. For once.  _ When the musician stirred the candy golem repositioned herself, leaning against her oddly well-constructed faux-throne as she pulled the Unifier between her legs, letting her rest against her chest. Maybe she was going to be too close for comfort for the musician. Maybe the vampire would pull away in loathing, or be infuriated by their proximity. But, in that moment, Bonnibel Bubblegum decided that she would react to the Unifier instead of try to dictate her behavior for her. If the rockstar wanted to pull away she would back off. However, the Navigator was part of her now, and that had to mean something.  _ I’d rather risk getting too close and having her shove me away than in any way imply that I don’t care about her. I’ve always been her guiding hand, and that won’t change unless she tells me to. I won’t let her think that without the Navigator I don’t care about her. Besides…  _ Her warm hand cupped her queen’s cheek as Bonnibel turned to watch Lady Abadeer closely.  _ I won’t let you get any ideas about hurting her anymore. You’re not the only possessive dignitary in this room, Lady Evil. She’s mine. Not your’s.  _ As she rolled it over in her mind Bonnibel recognized that those were thoughts that emerged from a dark place but lacked her normal animus, or any enmity at all, really. It was a declaration. It was a defense. It simply  _ was _ , and the princess began to wonder if that was how demons thought.

It would certainly explain a lot, anyway.

“Hey Bonnibel.”

The princess loosened her embrace just enough to let the Unifier wriggle free, if she so chose. It didn’t escape her notice that she seemed to hesitate before doing so, though that easily could have been exhaustion. With a small grunt the vampire tried to push herself up but failed in a way that would be funny if it weren’t so sad. Pink arms caught her and she huffed, she tensed, but she didn’t recoil. She may have even muttered a ‘thanks’, it was hard to tell and Bonnibel didn’t want to ask. Just in case the answer was ‘no’. After another small pause of hesitation she pulled away successfully, shifting herself to sit next to her, a conspicuous chasm of space between them now. 

“Hey Marceline. How do you feel?”

The Unifier sighed, a far cry from the relieved gasp she once gave after waking up in her princess’s arms years ago, cured of her envenoming by The Moon and relieved to see her favorite person in the world. “...I’m tired,” was the flat reply. 

Bonnibel nodded. “That’s to be expected, I imagine.” Only now was Bonnibel beginning to see how much of an effort it truly was to keep the patronizing tone out of her voice. It seemed to just take up permanent residence there. 

“What did I miss?” The flat tone in her voice was heart-wrenching and Bonnibel hoped it was just a temporary symptom of growing-pains from having absorbed such a huge chunk of the soul. 

“Finn and Jake are by the file cabinet with Lady Evil. I believe they’re requesting files.” 

The Unifier sighed deeply. “Of course they are.”

‘Awkward’ was a good description for the silence the two royals found themselves enmeshed in.

“Marcy…”

“Mm.”

“...I’m sorry.”

“Not so sorry you weren’t willing to give up your stupid crown.”

Bonnibel grimaced, both from the sudden acrid tone and the accuracy of the statement. She had vowed to the Unifier that she had learned her lesson about her behavior, but when push came to shove she had easily resorted back to old ways, defending a piece of twisted metal over the woman she claimed to love. It had come so easily to her, and she had let it. As had entirely disregarding Marceline.  _ She’s not wrong, and she deserves to hear me say that.  _ “...You’re right, Marceline.” The singer’s mouth opened, then closed as garnet eyes watched her carefully.  _ Were… you expecting me to argue? Are you trying to start a fig-  _ Then she remembered. She remembered that the last time the two were left to their own devices they had immediately engaged in a vicious argument because the Unifier had called the princess out on hypocritical behavior, which, in true form, Bonnibel had defended. Bubblegum pulled her knees to her chest, keeping all movements slow and deliberate. “I promised that I would do better, but when tested I chose to defend an inanimate object over you. I was wrong.”

“You’re not even going to try to justify it?”

“No. I’m not.” Her smile was sad. “You deserve better than that.”

The acrid tone faded from the Unifier’s voice. Now she just sounded drained. If anything, that hurt the princess more. “...Thanks for saving me from her.” Bubblegum nodded once more, swallowing hard. Through the greater part of their journey a question had been forming in the back of Bonnibel’s mind, something she knew she should have asked centuries ago but never thought to. It was a question she never even really considered before her conversation with Rechte, and even then she pushed it away because she Probably Didn’t Want to Know. But it wasn’t going away, and although she was sure it was deeply personal - and her lack of knowing the answer after all these years was a glaring indicator of her neglect as a partner and friend - it wasn’t something she could keep putting off. Especially after the Navigator’s parting comments to her, the princess needed to ask, needed to know for her own sanity. For all she knew it could be knowledge essential to bringing Marceline back to Ooo and helping her heal once she got there. But, really, it was probably just to put her own mind at ease.  _ Don’t wuss out, Bubblegum. Who knows when you’ll last have a moment alone like this? Ask her. _

“Marcy… I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

A garnet eye poked open to watch her, the only indicator she was awake.

“It’s silly… and, more importantly, it’s something I should know already, I know. I’m sorry that I never asked before. That was neglectful as well-”  _ Stop rambling!  _ “But… well… Even those parts of you that-”  _ hate  _ “-are angry with me referred to me as your mate. Even the Usurper did so, and in the present tense, not the past, which indicates that she hasn’t rejected me, despite her-”  _ easily corroborated  _ “-assertion that I don’t love you-”

“You want to know how that works because it doesn’t make sense to you and you’re just now realizing that despite being a brainlord you never saw fit to ask.”

The flat, drained tone had returned, and Bonnibel nodded. “Yes. I… am less knowledgeable about demon courtship than I should be, given our relation and positions. I had always assumed that ‘mate’ was an equivalent synonym for ‘girlfriend’ or ‘boyfriend’. I had never considered that it was an alternative concept entirely, with its own rules of behavior and symbolism. I should have inquired about it centuries ago, I know. But I am now. So… why did you choose me?” It was a much easier question for the younger woman to swallow than ‘why didn’t you leave me?’. 

The Unifier laughed bitterly. “Well…” She prodded at the younger woman’s side. “Why did you choose to have this arm?”

“Marceline, you don’t just choose to-”

“Yup. That’s the thing, Bonnibel. It’s not really a conscious decision. It’s just sorta like…” Her voice dropped, quieting in a way that would only betray how painful the vessel found this conversation if you really knew her. “Like… you found what was missing. That half of you that you didn’t know was gone until you found it. It just… is. And when you find it you just think to yourself, ‘oh, there it is’. But it’s not a fair thing.”

“What do you mean?”

Her voice became melancholy and tight. “Well, since it’s not really a thing you just choose you could find someone’s your mate… but you’re not theirs. That someone completes you, but...” When she curled into herself, against the throne and away from the young scientist Bubblegum raised an eyebrow, blinking when she realized the subtext of that admission. It was a subtlety she was only now learning, an ability to pick up on what wasn’t said she was only now developing. There was an unfamiliar pain where she imagined her heart would be, had she not given it to- “Marcy…” Her voice was gentle, almost loving, a voice she didn’t recognize as her own but desperately wanted to. She reached her hand to touch the vampire, offer the physical comfort the other royal often craved so desperately…

...Only to feel her hand collide with an invisible barrier. She traced the telekinetic shield haplessly.

_ You don’t know fear when you see it? Bon, she’s terrified of you. _

It finally sank in, and the young scientist felt her stomach turn. “I... didn’t understand before. Why you never told me, why you’re trying to keep me at a distance. I’m not a demon, and because of that… no matter our relationship’s title or my declared intent, my status as your mate means that I’ll always have a power over you that you cannot have over me.” She offered a soft smile, but the Unifier didn’t react. It didn’t deter her. “This whole time you’ve been trying to speak to me in a language I understood. But… a common difficulty in translating languages is that subtlety - meaning itself - can be lost. I didn’t understand what you were trying to tell me, what you’ve  _ been  _ trying to tell me. So, let  _ me  _ try this time. 

“Marcy, you  _ are  _ my mate. You’re half of me.” The Unifier opened her other eye, watching Bonnibel carefully. She was tense, poised to strike. Or run. Probably that second one, and the candy golem knew she would have only one shot at this, in more ways than one. The ghost of her conversation with Rechte floated to the front of her mind. “It’s true that I could have lots of girlfriends… and maybe it can’t mean the same coming from-”  _ someone  _ “-something like me… but if something ever happens to you that’s it, Marcy. I’d never recover. I… don’t know if, logically, it’s comparable to what you must experience, but, regardless, that’s the way things are. I just wish it didn’t take me almost destroying you-”  _ twice  _ “-to realize it. I know you don’t believe me.  _ I _ wouldn’t believe me. But… I’ll prove it to you, one way or another, if it takes me another five or six centuries.”

Both royals watched each other intently, one to see whose heart weighed more, the other in blind hope. Perhaps it was her imagination, or wishful thinking, but for just a brief, glorious moment it seemed as though the Unifier was going to say something without barbs or ice, on to be interrupted by-

“No. Way.”

Jake had finished reading his note. His jaw was hanging open and he was staring at Lady Abadeer, who looked even more smug than usual. An impressive feat. “Oh yes. Yes way.”

“Uh uh.”

“Yup.”

“You can’t be-”

“Totally.”

“...Oh man. Ohhhh man.”

Bonnibel turned to Finn, but the boy only shrugged haplessly. “Um… Jake?” 

He turned to the princess, waving the white slip of paper in the air. “Oh man, you gotta-” At the last moment he slammed his paw over his mouth, then turned back to the Baddie, who seemed almost disappointed that he caught himself before breaking the contract. “Oh, nice try!”

“Why thank you, I thought so, too.” The disappointment was quickly replaced by a self-satisfied, lop-sided grin. “You know the deal, Jake. If I don’t remember that message when we get back to Ooo you gotta deliver it to the correct recipient, and  _ only  _ the correct recipient. No telling anyone else ever. Got it?”

“Yeah ye-” he yelped when the paper abruptly burst into white flames, shaking his paw to allow the ashes to fall to the ground. When he glared at her she smiled far too innocently to be believable. “Oh, you would.”

“Totally.” 

She winked at him, then she winked at the princess, who narrowed her eyes before returning her attention to the Unifier, speaking in a hushed whisper. “Do you know what she is?” The Unifier shook her head, matching the whisper, centuries of clandestine intelligence gathering kicking into habit. 

“Besides a wad? No, none of us do. Which she thinks is funny.” Bonnibel nodded a special nod. It was a nod the Unifier knew well. It wasn’t to assert agreement, or even acknowledge that something was said. It was a subtle sign that she was up to something. And Marceline Abadeer was all about being up to something. She flickered into invisibility, following closely behind the princess.

“I have a file I’d like to see.” 

Lady Evil brightened, clearly intrigued. “Yes, BonBon?” 

The Baddie watched as the younger woman crossed the room with all the grace and dignity benefitting an exceptionally irate 800+ year-old monarch. A pink finger tapped the metal. “Yes. But first, I have one question. All of the files at our disposal… they’re accurate?”

“Yup! As far as I know, anyway. It’s my own personal information repository. Why would I lie to myself?” That was a loaded question if there ever was one, but Bubblegum understood the intended message.

“And I cannot request either your file or my own?”

Lady Abadeer beamed. “Choose wisely, Bon.”

_ Sound advice from evil incarnate.  _ The young scientist tapped the cabinet once more absentmindedly. It wasn’t the person in question she wanted information on. It was the Baddie herself.  _ If her information is half as in-depth as my own efforts this is a fantastic opportunity to learn not only about an outside party, but how Marceline’s psyche works within this mindset. I need to pick someone whose file will provide me with enough insight into how she processes the world around her in order to make an informed judgment as to what Lady Abadeer represents of the whole. Someone I also possess critical information on that I can compare and contrast what our reports contain and conclude. Someone- _

She knew just the test subject.

“I’d like to see Finn’s file.”

Finn blinked, eyes shifting between Lady Evil and Princess Bubblegum. ‘Uncomfortable’ didn’t begin to describe his feelings about that request. “Uh…” No one seemed to care.

Lady Abadeer tilted her head at the young scientist, and for a brief moment Bonnibel was sure the queen was debating not providing the promised information, But her fears were unfounded; the being of evil merely chuckled. “Well played, Bonnie.” Yet the twinkle in her eye just as easily said, ‘but not well enough’. With one claw swipe the bottom drawer popped open, and the file was retrieved. “Here you go, BonBon.” Never dropping her innocent expression Lady Evil nudged the door closed before returning to her desk, leaving the princess to her own devices. 

It would have been sweet if it didn’t reek of suspicion. 

_ That was too easy.  _ Green eyes raked over the document, scouring it for discrepancies.  _ Let’s see… Finn Mertens… human. Parents… two deceased and two living… siblings, two living… son… wait, son? Oh, Stormo. Cute, Marceline. This is all information I know- ...Wait.  _ Because that was exactly the problem. It was all information  _ she  _ knew, including information  _ only  _ she should know. Bonnibel flipped to a new page, past the abridged summary of the finer details of Finn’s life.  _...Wait. Hold up.  _ Eyes wide, she turned to Lady Abadeer, whose claws wriggled at her playfully. It was perfectly clear that Bonnibel had just found exactly what the Baddie had expected her to find.  _ How and when did you learn that he’s Shok- _

The chime.

It went off four times, so like the music that indicated Lady Abadeer’s lunch break, but deeper and more resonating. “What is that sound, Marceline?” At its call the Baddie stretched and clicked the security camera off, crossing the room, returning Finn’s envelope to her filing cabinet with practiced efficiency. As her back turned Jake snatched his stake back, returning it to his fur pocket.

“It would seem I have a guest at my front door.” She said this happily, as if it were a good thing. 

Finn and Jake exchanged a look of confusion before understanding came crashing over their heads. “Wait. The Usurper is  _ here? _ ”

“Well, not  _ here  _ here, Finn. Outside. You know, the spot where Jake ran into my wall face-first.” She was far too calm about this, as if she weren’t about to face a battle to the death with a homicidal maniac.  _ But… I guess she’s also a homicidal maniac? Does that cancel it out?  _ He hoped so. After one quick scan of her office Lady Abadeer motioned to the front. “Alright, out we go, kids. I’d like to be paid sometime this century, which I can’t do if you’re all in my office.”

“...Why?”

Lady Evil raised an eyebrow at the princess. “Bon, you won’t even let  _ me  _ in your throne room after hours. Why would I let the dweebs and this…” she gestured rudely to the Unifier, but her contract held her tongue. “...Piece of myself in my office when I’m busy saving you?” 

Bonnibel frowned, pleased to see that the queen was living up to her first contractual obligation already, having refrained from insulting the Unifier.  _ Fair enough.  _ “Alright. And what happens now?”

After vacating the premises Lady Evil turned to lock her office up. Her bass was still nowhere to be seen. “Now? Now we go greet my guest and I deliver my ultimatum. If she stays outside of my territory she may live - so to speak - in peace. If she steps one toe over my borders you get your soulshard and I get my box of goodies.”

The lock snapping into place was abnormally loud.

“Of course,” Lady Abadeer turned and began to make her way outside of the Citadel, indicating that she should be followed, “I have to encourage you to stay behind me and within my boundaries while I’m killing her. If you stray outside of the safe zone and get whammed that’s not my problem.”

“Even Peebo?”

“Bonnie wouldn’t be that stupid.”

_ That… wasn’t actually an answer.  _ Finn looked to Bubblegum for assistance, but she only shrugged her indifference. It didn’t escape his notice that the Unifier was watching her carefully - on edge, but without malice - and hoped it was a good sign. Despite the severity of the situation, he smiled.

That smile stopped when they reached the mangled gate, because just beyond it lay the last border wall, and beyond  _ that _ , in the desert wasteland, floated the Usurper. They had last seen here perhaps two, maybe three days ago, but it felt like much longer. So much had happened, and so much had to happen still. Whereas Finn, Jake, and the Unifier hesitated, though, Lady Evil didn’t break her stride, stopping just short of the invisible wall. Bonnibel stopped toather side, just a hair behind the vampire, as per her request. Before her the Usurper floated, almost bouncing in her excitement, bass poised and ready in her right hand. She was grinning, much like a child waiting to open a big, shiny present. When she saw her fellow Baddie her excitement only grew as she tried to sneak peaks around her without moving from her spot, almost giddy with anticipation. Now up close Bonnibel could see that, just as before, she had still been unwilling - or, perhaps, unable - to repair her once-beautiful coat. But that wasn’t the only thing that she seemed to be unwilling - or, perhaps, unable - to repair.

“What happened to your eye?,” Lady Abadeer teased.

Once upon a time, the Usurper had possessed two fully-functional, demonic, garnet eyes. She now possessed one fully-functional, demonic, garnet eye. The flesh where her right eye used to be was fused, making it impossible to see where the eye should be under the flesh in the first place. This was quite telling to the princess. Contrary to popular belief flesh did not knit itself together cleanly of its own accord; it took concentration for Marceline to repair herself because it was a skill that took experience, practice, and an exceptional understanding of her own anatomy and physiology. Like any other task if she rushed it it would show, and the fact that the Usurper’s eyesocket was so smoothed over demonstrated to Bonnibel that the Baddie had probably given up on regenerating it immediately after she left them to lick their wounds, instead using all of her energy to sculpt the rest of her flesh into a living bandage, almost making it appear as though someone had simply erased the tiny organ from her face. If it hurt she gave no indication.  _ I hope it does. _

If the jab was meant to start a fight it failed to do its job. Instead, the Usurper only stuck her forked tongue out at Lady Evil before turning to scan the remainder of the group. When she spotted Bonnibel her eye brightened and she waved her axe wildly in the air, as if the princess could possibly miss her. “Bonnie! Bonnie, over here! Bonnie! It’s me! It’s Usurper! Bonnie! Hi Bonnie!” 

As the young scientist grit her teeth Lady Abadeer let out a sharp whistle, one that caused Jake to cover his ears involuntarily. “Usurper, focus.” 

The Usurper turned to her fellow madwoman, clearly crestfallen. “Aw… but I wanted to say ‘hi’ to Bonnie!” Her childlike elation dropped into something much darker. Something much more violent. “I just wanna know how she’s holding up. You know. After the thing with Tyrant. Remember, Bonnie? The thing? Where you-” 

Another whistle, this one sharper, escaped Lady Evil who, in contrast to Bonnibel’s growing rage, remained as serene as ever. “That’s very noble of you, but I’m afraid Bonnibel doesn’t really want to see you right now.” 

The Usurper made a grand show of looking baffled. “What? Why?” She smacked her forehead with the palm of her free hand. “Oh!” Her voice dropped to an excessively loud whisper. “This is kinda awkward, isn’t it?” 

Lady Evil nodded softly. “It is.” The Usurper pouted, eye sharply redirecting to-

“Oh, hi there, Jake. I’ve missed you.”

“Usurper. Focus.” After reclaiming her other self’s attention Lady Abadeer rubbed her temples. “I forgot that you have the attention span of a small rodent.”

“Eh, I don’t know. Sounds like an insult to Science.” Lady Evil smirked, hearing a previously quiet vampire join the party by flickering into view beside her. 

The Usurper blinked in surprise. “Runt! Is that you?!” The question was both rhetorical and unnecessary. “Look at you go! Killing Navigator and the twins to gain their power.” She pretended to sniffle. “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry, but you’re just growing up so fast, you know?” Her head tilted, eyes flicking from the Unifier to Lady Abadeer. “So it’s just us left, huh? All alone in the universe?” Her sigh was overly dramatic and world-weary.

“Usurper, stop hamming it up.”

“But you get to act like their friend! Why don’t I?,” she huffed.

“Because I’m not a hack.”

The Usurper narrowed her eye at Lady Evil. “Rude. You know that? You’re just… ugh. Are you seeing this, Bonnie?” When Bonnibel only stared impassively she cocked her head to the side. “Oh, you have your mad face on. Oh man, don’t tell me. You made a deal with Lady Evil here to stomp me?  _ Now _ who’s the cliche?” When this failed to elicit a response she dropped into a loud whisper once more. “Psst. Ask me who the cliche is.”

“...”

“No, it’ll be funny!”

“...”

Unwilling to let Bonnibel suffer more harassment Lady Evil snapped her claws loudly, calling attention to herself once more. “Enough, Usurper.”

Perhaps finally realizing that her estranged-mate wouldn’t be paying her any attention the Usurper’s voice and expression fell flat and she landed. “Oh. I guess they’ve already bought you, huh?”

“Yup. I’m being paid pretty well for your chunk of the soul, so I’m gonna need that.”

“You know, there are words to describe people like you.”

“Profitable?”

The Usurper stopped, then laughed uproariously. “And here I am thinking you have no sense of humor! That was good!” The laughter died abruptly. “Nah. See, here’s the thing, wad. All of this? It’s a survival game-”

“Which I’m winning.”

“HEY! I don’t interrupt you! I thought you were all about manners and junk? Man, and they say I’m a hypocrite.” She stopped. “Wait, what was I saying?”

“This is a survival game.”

“Oh! Right, that! Yeah, this is a survival game. Only one of us gets to go home. Now, I dunno what the twerps are promising you in exchange for ganking me, but trust me on this, my needs are greater.”

Lady Abadeer rolled her eyes. “Isn’t your goal to go back to Ooo so you can waste it?”

“Yeah!” She sounded so proud of her clever plan it was almost endearing. If she weren’t a murderous lunatic bent on world destruction.

“I don’t think that actually counts as your needs being greater, Usurper.”

“Aaaaand I don’t care!,” she chirped. “You know why?” Her expression dropped, her posture stoic and cold. “The world beyond our mind? It’s mine. Rightfully, I mean. I’m its beginning, and I’m its end. All those pre-war legends about monsters and the end of the world? All about me. I’m a being of pure chaotic energy, basically invincible, able to take any form, heal any injury. I can summon fire, manipulate objects and people without touching them, stalk any prey, break any wall. I can level mountains, waste kingdoms, incite mayhem, and annihilate entire armies  _ on my own. I _ am the most powerful being in all of Ooo. You can put on daddy’s chaos amulet and play pretend all you want but it’s just that. Pretend. Because I’m going to waste you, I’m going to waste the runt, and then I’m going to waste Ooo. Your power comes from a piece of jewelry. It’s fake. Me? I’m the real deal.”

Lady Abadeer chuckled almost fondly. “It’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

The Usurper *tsk*ed. “You know what the biggest difference is between us? You believe your own hype. You spent our whole life trying to control junk.” Bonnibel raised an eyebrow.  _ Your whole life…?  _ “Didn’t you learn  _ anything  _ from Tyrant?” When she winked at Bonnibel the princess felt herself tense… only to relax just a fractic when she felt a hand on her shoulder. A grey hand. That didn’t belong to Lady Abadeer. “Things just… happen. You can’t control or stop them. Why did the Mushroom War happen? No reason. Why did Simon put on the crown? No reason. Why did daddy eat our fries? No reason. You and Bonnie have this weird thing where you think things happen with a reason, so you spend  _ way  _ too much energy trying to control it. But I’ll tell you what I told her; control’s an illusion, and if you think you can control anything you’re imagining things.”

“Yeah?” Lady Evil tilted her head, and the barrier that separated the false Nightosphere from the greater landscape came into view. “Are you imagining  _ me,  _ Usurper?”

“Why? Wanna find out?”

Lady Abadeer smirked, the gate opening. Jake immediately drew back, taking Finn and Bonnibel with him. When she didn’t immediately follow the princess pulled the Unifier with her.  _ I’ve come too far to let you get yourself killed now.  _ “Here’s my offer to you, Usurper. By the terms of my contract with the Dork Patrol I get paid pretty well if I kill you. But, by the laws governing my lair, I can only kill you if you present yourself as a threat to me. So if you’re so desperate for me to end your sad existence put a toe through the gate. Until you do, though, you’re not my problem.”

Two gazes locked, one with a single slitted eye, the other with two pinned ones. With exaggerated truancy, and without breaking eye-contact, the Usurper lifted her right leg. Slowly, agonizingly so, she brought it over the invisible line that separated the two areas before gingerly, so lightly it could have been missed entirely, touched the fine dust that settled over the black ground. No sooner had the Usurper officially crossed her threshold a new bass, identical to its seven sisters, materialized in Lady Evil’s right claw. She gripped it tightly, her mask of impassivity dropping in obvious elation that the Usurper had actually taken her up on her offer.

“Now you’re my problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> No Longer With Us:
> 
> Chaotic Good (Power Recovered: Invisibility)
> 
> Neutral Good (Power Recovered: Telekinesis)
> 
> Neutral Evil (Power Recovered: Pyrokinesis)
> 
> Lawful Neutral (Power Recovered: Healing)
> 
> Lawful Good (Power Recovered: Flight)
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
>  
> 
> Still With Us:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Chaotic Evil


	22. For Mine Own Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...All causes shall give way.
> 
> Real Talk: And we're back! Woo, this was fun to write! I wanted to thank you all for being patient with my delayed update, and I'm sad to say that it's going to happen again for the next chapter, as I'll be at a convention for four days later this week, which means 0 writing time. This is an incredibly busy time of year for me, but we're so close! Which is bittersweet, but I'm rambling.
> 
> Thank you all so much for all the love you give me. Seriously, you have NO idea how much every comment/kudos/bookmark means to me. It probably sounds very silly, but it's true. Writing is a process that makes the creator very vulnerable, which, again, probably sounds silly, but ask any writer that isn't me and they'll tell you the same.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Graphic Violence  
> Discussion of Anatomy Parts (not like that you perverts)  
> Basically A Giant Fight Scene  
> Introspection  
> Fatality

 

Some people just couldn’t be pleased.

Lady Abadeer had proved a woman of her word; she had promised that the moment the Usurper made herself a threat she would deal with her violently and with extreme prejudice, and the homicidal lunatic had done exactly that by putting a toe out of line. Literally. She had technically invaded Lady Abadeer’s lair, and by the terms of her contract, and whatever bizarre rules governed her home, that was all the permission she needed. The Usurper was fast, but so was her counterpart, who had rushed from her gate in absolute glee. Her axe was ready, she was contractually obligated to turn over the Usurper’s soulshard once she acquired it, and the rest of the group was safe within the terraformed Nightosphere’s protected zone and expected to do absolutely nothing. They just had to sit, wait, and hope.

But some people just couldn’t be pleased, and Finn Mertens was one of them, as evidenced by his scowl and pout.

“What’s up, buddy?”

Finn frowned, watching his temporary ally leave the sanctity of her lair. The Usurper was just as thrilled, and the sound of their axes clashing, followed by the scape of metal on metal as the blades were separated was loud enough to force him wince. Or maybe that was just the severity of the situation, the promise of senseless violence. It was hard to tell these days.

“I dunno, Jake. It’s just… doesn’t this bother anyone else?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… the final battle is supposed to be good versus evil. This is just… one kind of evil versus a different kind of evil.”

Jake shrugged. “Yeah, but at least one of those kinds of evil is on our side-” 

He jumped when the Unifier appeared next to him. “Yeah, for now. Until she gets what she wants. Then she turns on us. It’s what she does.” 

The dog shrugged. “Eh. Maybe. Maybe nots. ‘Sides, if you get the Usurper’s soulshard would that make you just as strong as her?” 

The Unifier scoffed, “No idea. I’d have everyone else, but we don’t even know what the wad is. We just know she’s different than the rest of us.” 

He tilted his head. “Yeah?” 

With a frown the vampire turned to watch the fight. “I mean… just look, dude. We can float, but she doesn’t. We can shapeshift but she doesn’t. At least, I’ve never seen her do it. We’re all different, but except for me there’s lots the same. Just… not with her.”

Bonnibel raised an eyebrow, but didn’t look away from the fight.  _ She’s right. That is odd. But then, all of their powers scale to what they are, and Tyrant couldn’t shapeshift either. If we could just find out which piece of Marceline’s psyche she is we would have an advantage once this battle is over and we need to contend with her. Assuming- No. I will not entertain the idea that she could lose. If she’s demonstrated one thing she’s pragmatic, and I highly doubt she would engage in a battle she could realistically likely lose.  _ It was an odd feeling for the princess, hoping Lady Evil would win after what she had done to the Unifier and Navigator. It was no wonder the half-demon’s voice was bitter, especially now that the Navigator was safely within her. Bonnibel was suddenly struck with the need to say something reassuring, but was coming up decidedly short, and it did not escape her notice that her gallant champions were doing a better job at comforting the Unifier than Bonnibel ever could. At least, for the time being.  _ I’ll learn, but first thing’s first. We need to make it out of your mind with you intact, and to- _

“Aw, come on, Usurper. Don’t be that way.”

Her head snapped back to the battlefield, where she saw Lady Abadeer. Alone. Pink skin prickled. The Baddie’s head was tilted, as if listening for something. Or someone. Bonnibel glanced towards her friends before turning back. “What happened?”

“Lady Wad sliced off the bottom of her coat so the Usurper disappeared. Almost took her leg with it. I think she’s sulking.”

But Bonnibel knew better. Though Marceline never, under any circumstance, allowed the candy golem to accompany her in battles or patrols that she wasn’t already involved in she had watched the musician fight for hundreds of years against thousands of enemies and knew her tactics like the back of her hand, and Marceline disappearing in the middle of combat could only mean one of a few distinct possibilities. She felt a hand on her shoulder and stiffened, relaxing when she realized who it was muttering in her ear. “She’s me, Bonnibel. She knows I like to vanish just before cutting people in half.” Evidently, despite everything, the Unifier was reluctant to share trade secrets with mere mortals, but it wasn’t something the princess could begrudge her. But she did feel her tension edge off, just a bit. Just enough, because the Unifier was right. The vampire may not know herself well - this entire adventure was perfect evidence of that - but she did know her own propensity for battle. She certainly had the experience. When she heard Lady Evil cackle she knew the vessel was right.

Not that it made the situation any less distasteful.

“You know what the best part about this is, Usurper?”

“How amazing I am?” The voice was disembodied, almost echoing across the barren wasteland. It was a violation of physics the princess was gradually learning to ignore.

“You think being invisible is going to keep you safe from me. I mean… come  _ on _ . We’re part of each other! You think I don’t know your tricks?”

The answer came in the form of a fireball. A violet fireball. A massive violet fireball, larger than Lady Evil’s head, shot downward from directly above her. It obscured her vision with its blinding light, but she could feel its heat; she, the Usurper, and Linke had always been the most gifted with pyrokinesis, and aside from her shapeshifting it was the power her adversary most often abused. And with good cause; while the others could summon fire - Linke even being able to self-immolate without causing any debilitating damage - the Usurper was the best at manipulating its form, changing its shape to whatever the situation warranted, a trick that Whole Marceline was fully incapable of. But Lady Abadeer knew a good deal about fire herself, and as her business partners looked on in stunned silence she reached up and over her, drawing her claws across her body to diffuse the flame before it could reach her. Sadly, the outsiders’ collective relief that their Baddie wasn’t conflagrated was short lived; it seemed the Usurper had predicted that very action, because she was diving after Lady Evil at top speed, axe raised. Unfortunately for her, the suited musician saw her coming just a moment too soon and raised her own axe, almost buckling under the weight of her parry. Not deterred, the Usurper smirked and rolled to the side, out of range of any form of retaliation, following her evasion with a barrage of fireballs, smaller but faster, clustered and aimed squarely at her chest. Rather than diffuse those as well Lady Evil brought her axe before her, narrowly shielding herself.

“You’ve gotten better since the last time we fought. You’ve developed more focus and better restraint.”

“Yeah! I can read, too!”

Despite the absurdity of the situation Lady Abadeer chortled just as the Usurper disappeared once more. “Cute. Attack and recede is a style we haven’t used in some time. I’m not sure why, you know. It’s rather effective against difficult opponents. I take it as a compliment.”

“We haven’t used it ‘cause no one’s as tough as us! Or, you know. Me specifically. They’re not worth it.”

“And I am?” 

Lady Evil sounded almost pleased and Finn narrowed his eyes in indignation, glancing briefly to make sure his friends were watching this spectacle. “Dude, they’re talking like they’re old friends. Like this is a game.” 

The Unifier shook her head. “Knowing them, they are and it is. They’re both all sorts of messed up.” 

Jake shrugged. “Hey, as long as she does her job I don’ts care what she has to do to do it.”

“And when she turns on us?”

“Eh.”

“What do you mean ‘eh’?!”

“I mean-”

His explanation was interrupted by his own yelp as a ring of bright white fire erupted, encircling Lady Evil. The heat was intense enough for the outsiders to feel it, even through the gate. While every other Marceline, sans the Unifier prior to absorbing Linke, could use pyrokinesis none of the other vampires had flames hot enough to sear the air itself. It felt like a miniature, concentrated inferno, expertly directed, wielded like an extension of Lady Abadeer herself. It was mesmerizing, almost enchanting in its own right; although the flames were clearly white now that he was safely out of the danger zone Jake was able to actually  _ look  _ at them and realized that the base seemed to almost flicker with other colors, speckles of green and purple and blue and red. But they were only fleeting, and he began to suspect he may be imagining it. He tore his gaze away when he felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder, saw it in his eyes:  _ I know. I see it, too.  _ He returned to the battlefield in time to see the Usurper reappear, backing away from the small infero, two rows of small violet fireballs encircling her diagonally, as if they were ammo.

“Ohhhh, so that’s how it’s gonna be!”

“Yeah, I’m not really going to let you cut me in half, Usurper. You’re going to have to try something else.”

“Wish granted!” The violet flames melded together into a solid wall. Rather than push this barrier forward it instead collapsed in of itself, imbuing the maniac’s axe bass and turning it burgundy. 

Lady Evil looked almost impressed and tilted her head. “Neat trick. I’m surprised Linke never thought of that.” 

The Usurper rolled her eyes. “Too impatient, and that’s coming from me. But we can’t all be as epic as me anyway, so, you know. There’s that.” This time when she slashed at her adversary a trail of violet fire followed the blade’s edge, and she had no time to raise her own axe in defense; the blade caught her in the side, tearing her once perfect suit. It singed the fabric, threatening to combust, but the burnt edges were quickly extinguished by bright blood. She gritted her teeth, hissing in the first display she had shown in losing composure. Without hesitation her free claw burst back into flames, but rather than retaliate she jammed it into her side, over the wound to cauterize it. The Usurper laughed uproariously. “Oh man, that was great! Your face!”

With a deep breath Lady Evil straightened, ignoring the flummoxed expressions from her employers. Bonnibel felt her stomach sink; logically she had known that it was highly unlikely Lady Abadeer would escape the battle unscathed, even if she did win. But there was a great difference between logically knowing something to be true and witnessing it first hand, and it never got any easier to see her mate get hurt. Even if Finn was right and this version of her mate was pure evil, helping them only because they had a common enemy and was being paid handsomely for the task.

The Usurper wasn’t finished with her assault, and while Lady Abadeer was focused on sealing her gash the madwoman cackled, her form beginning to shift. Her arms and legs elongated, hands becoming grey claws tipped with fearsome talons. The unmistakable sounds of rendered flesh and breaking bones heralded two black, supple wings emerging from her back, her torso growing large, furry, and black. As it changed so too did her head; her nose became large and flat, beset on either side by two red, slitted eyes, her ears becoming furry and black, relocating to the top of her head. When she stretched her back cracked, and once more Jake grabbed his stomach at the sound. He heard this, seen this before, back in the throne room, when she first assumed her favorite bat form. Just before she almost crushed him and his friends to death. Strangely, her eyes were different now, and he in no way wanted to consider what to think of that development. She was also largely, much more so than Lady Evil, who stared at her calmly.

“I wondered if you’d be shapeshifting for this fight. I know how you love it.”

The bat shrugged dismissively. “We got an audience. Gotta give the people what they love, and they  _ love  _ me.” She forced Bonnibel to endure a wink, but didn’t keep her gaze trained long enough to see her reaction; Lady Evil released a sharp whistle, instantly grabbing her attention. 

“Focus, Usurper. I swear, it’s like fighting a child sometimes.” 

The Usurper stuck her forked tongue at her, spreading her wings to their full span. “Then let’s end this.” She tapped her chin with her claw trailing her eyes thoughtfully over Lady Abadeer. You know… we have such a lovely voice. I wonder how we scream.” Her voice was childlike, giddy and curious, and Lady Abadeer rotated her axe in her hand.

There was no parrying what came next. The bat disappeared and Lady Abadeer paused to listen for her, but for a moment too long; the soft wings of the bat made flying silent, and she felt the shift in wind too late. The Usurper dive-bombed, claws digging into her to hold her fellow Baddie steady, giving her no time to react before two elongated fangs sank into her shoulder, only narrowly missing her throat. Lady Evil hissed in pain, pinned eyes slitting, but only for a moment before returning to normal. With a deep-seated growl she reached behind her, grabbing a fuzzy ear as she readied her axe. With one powerful yank the Usurper was throw over her shoulder, but she disappeared once more before Lady Evil could properly aim her blade, the force of her throw dragging her back towards the gate. This time she was ready for her strike.

Even combined the Unifier and Navigator could barely open the Nightosphere’s gate. It had taken enough effort to wind them both, and it was a miracle the high-pitched scrap of metal on stone-like floor hadn’t popped any eardrums. Lady Evil had no such trouble. With a smirk she pushed a wall of fire in front of her, forcing the Usurper to change her trajectory, driving her up to avoid the element. Without bothering to wait for the change the employed Baddie turned behind her, grasping one of the remaining straightened bar and tearing it free from the others almost effortlessly. In one swift moment she yanked it free and turned, striking the Usurper in the side as she attempted another divebomb.

The sickening crack of her ribs was almost music to Finn and Jake’s ears. The Usurper recoiled, drawing back as she cupped her left arm over her right side, her grip on her engulfed axe still iron tight. Lady Evil smirked, but it was hard to see what she was so smug about; yes, the Usurper was hurt, and broken ribs would make flying or running cumbersome until she managed to mend the bones, but Lady Evil was hurt as well. She had managed to cauterize the gash in her side, but the bite from her foe’s fangs was obviously deep; based on the way she was angling her neck Bonnibel suspected the puncture extended into the levator scapulae, possibly the trapezius. To make matters worse the Usurper’s claws had dragged across her stomach and left thigh, and the blood was still oozing, muscles exposed to the open air. The wound on her leg looked especially bad, too deep to be healed with any expediency. It may have even reached the bone, but it was hard to tell with the blood obstructing her view from so far away. The princess couldn’t imagine how well she must be able to move, even with her staggering pain threshold.

Both Baddies stared at one another, appraising their respective handiworks, mutually impressed, neither willing to back down. Finn watched the Unifier in his peripheral, silently imploring Jake to do the same. Lady Evil hadn’t been lying where she’d said that both she and the Usurper were of equal strength, and while this was the closest the outsiders had ever come to beating the madwoman for realzorz it was hard to stomach. Their one last chance at a peaceful resolution - so to speak - was hurt, and if she was killed they would essentially be out of luck unless they thought of something fast, because while they could easily pursue the Usurper back to Ooo her first course of action would be to kill the Unifier, and it would take more than a stake and demon blood sword to stop her. He chanced a direct look at the Unifier, catching Bonnibel’s eye in the process. She looked just as anxious, just as resolved as he did, but had he really expected less? 

Finn knew that this - all of it - wasn’t just for Marceline, it was for his princess, too. When he was younger he had never really thought of the immortal royal in terms of being a  _ person _ . She had just seemed so strong, so wise, so untouchable that he never really considered her as an individual with weaknesses just like a mere mortal was cursed with. Just like him. Except for that brief stint as a child when she lost too much biomass she had always seemed immutable, steady, like all of her problems existed purely within the confines of her kingdom. It was only as he grew older that he had begun to lose his  _ idea  _ of her, instead seeing her in a more enlightened view, as a friend and not solely a role.

And here she was, undergoing an astounding amount of personal growth and development in a short period of time. Throughout this journey - however long it really was - he had seen more of her as a person than he had ever seen in his years of knowing her. He had seen her despair, had seen her beset with righteous fury, seen her watch her world fall apart. He had seen her in love, watched how calm and content she truly was when she was in Marceline’s arms. He had seen her vulnerable, seen her promise to change and mend her ways. A full gamut of emotions even she wasn’t sure she possessed but had demonstrated in spades. She had hopes and dreams beyond her role, desires and goals that didn’t have to do with science. At least, strictly speaking

Finn knew he needed to protect her as well, not as his princess but as his best ladybro. Not just the crown, but the woman who wore it. He knew she could change, she had been trying so hard this entire time. She had grown, as had he, and now he needed to protect that as well. This journey went deeper than a gallant champion’s service to the crown, and he wasn’t about to let a madwoman with a superiority complex ruin it. She would have her work cut out for her back in Ooo, and he would get her there.

But she wasn’t the only one to have grown. His mother - his adopted one - had once told him that it was only through trials that tested the spirit would one ever become who they were always meant to be, and he was meant to be a hero, like his father. Finn had spent his entire life trying to live up to that mantle, always striving to uphold the good and defend those who need it, but it wasn’t until later in his life that he would truly question what it meant to be a hero, and what it meant to be good. He had entered the station of being a champion with a child’s understanding, but the world was so much more complex than punching giant jerks that terrorized tiny villages.

More than anything else, though, this journey had taught him more about himself than any quest he had ever undergone, and he had developed deeper bonds with his ladybros than he ever had before. In Marceline’s deranged mind he had come to face his darkest fears and left the Thorn Gate unscathed. If anything he felt better, more capable of accepting his past and limitations. In rescuing his best ladybro from herself he felt more like a hero than he ever had in Ooo. When he turned to Jake he realized that his brother had been watching him thoughtfully, head tilted as he rubbed his chin. When the boy raised his eyebrow quizzically Jake gave him a thumbs-up, and knew he felt the same. When he was certain that the Unifier was too engrossed in the spectacle before them he inched closer to Bubblegum, dropping his voice in a hush. “We got this, PB.” The young scientist nodded, but it was absent and he wasn’t sure she heard him. Or believed it. “No, serially, Peebs. We got this. We’ve come way too far to let Usurper win this. We all have” His smile was so certain even he believed himself. Her smile, on the other hand, was strained. 

Strained, but reassured. “...You’re right. Lady Evil may be hurt but so is Usurper.” 

Finn nodded. “Abadeer’s smart. She knows what she’s doing. She’s got this.” This time Bonnibel’s smile was sincere, and with a careful breath she took the Unifier’s cool hand. Maybe she didn’t notice, maybe she didn’t care, but she didn’t pull away, and Bubblegum decided that she’d take what she could get. At least, until they got home and she found a way to make everything right. Behind her Finn smiled and Jake offered two thumbs up, one to the boy and the other to the monarchs’ unseeing backs.

Bubblegum snapped back to the main attraction when she heard the Usurper laugh, a taunting, infuriating thing. “Alright, I admit it. You’re pretty tough, wad. I thought holding yourself up in your fancy-pants palace all these years would make you soft, but you still got it. Still a mega uncool wad, though.”

“You’re too kind.”

“But here’s what it comes down to. I’mma kill you. I’mma kill the runt. I’mma go back to Ooo. I’mma continue all of my masterful work that I started down here, because this party stops for nothing and no one!” She beamed, eyes wild, a dark laugh escaping her and Bonnibel felt her eye twitch.  _ She’s absolutely intoxicated with her own insanity.  _ “I mean,  _ come on _ . The world deserves to see my righteousness in action! Denying them, now that would be the real crime. All of this,” she gestured to the world around her, then to the copious damage inflicted on Lady Evil, “is a work of art.” She slowly straightened with only a small wince, the sound of her ribs popping back into place unmistakable. It bothered Finn on a deep level that the sound of bones shattering and then un-shattering no longer nauseated him, that he had gotten used to it. But he was too worried to dwell on that; the fight wasn’t over yet, and if this situation turned truly dismal he knew that he and the Unifier would need to jump in before the Usurper could fully recover. Before he could confirm that strategy with his vampiric ladybro, however, he heard their Baddie laugh softly.

“What have you  _ actually  _ done, Usurper? Truly, I mean. You can try to take credit for killing Tyrant, but we all know that’s a lie; you forced Bonnie to do it for you. Now why might that be?” Despite her grievous injuries Lady Evil’s grin was self-satisfied, her voice mocking. It made no sense to to the helpless audience; both Baddies were clearly of equal strength, and both were badly hurt, but the Usurper seemed to be healing - albeit slowly - whereas Lady Evil seemed to either not be healing at all or healing so sluggishly that it was inconsequential, unless you counted those injuries she burned shut. Her claw dropped to her leg, closing the wound with no small effort. Once she could rest at least a bit of her weight on it she withdrew her claw, resting over the recently cauterized gash in her side and almost entirely covering the burnt part of her suit and its surrounding blood stain. 

The Usurper balked, blinking at her audacity before turning to the group of outsiders, thumb hooked towards her adversary. “Can you believe this lady? I’m kicking her butt and she’s still mouthing off! And I thought  _ I  _ was messed up.”

The Unifier frowned. “You  _ are _ messed up.”

The Usurper exhaled loudly. “Well that’s a relief. For a minute there I didn’t know who I was!” She turned back to Lady Abadeer, smile so sweet it was sickening. “Sad, isn’t it? You spent our whole life trying to control everything you were. You planned this whole set-up, did everything you could to get us to this moment. But you suck, so it didn’t work out. Don’t feel too bad, though. You got the short end of the stick for what we are.” Bonnibel’s eyes widened.  _ Wait. Does… does she know what Lady Evil is?  _ “But like I told Bonnie, ya just can’t control everything, you know? Life or unlife or whatevs just doesn’t work that way.” She shook her head, the look of pity so strong it could almost come alive on its own accord. “You and Bon have spent  _ way  _ too much time together, ‘cause you’ve got the same sort of weaknesses. Not healthy, you know?” 

Lady Evil rolled her eyes, picking her bass back up as she returned to her full height. “I never claimed to be infallible, Usurper. Not that this is over. I’m still standing, and you’re still floating. I still have a job to do.”

The Usurper let out a *tsk*. “Ya just don’t get it, and you’re supposed to be the smart one. Control’s an illusion. Does more harm than good and trust me on that one, ‘cause I’m the queen of messing people up and doing harm. You can plot and scheme and machinate all you want whenever you want, but that won’t stop a force of awesome nature - like me, if that wasn’t clear - from bringing down your castle.” From the safety of the Nightosphere gate Jake frowned, something nagging at the back of his mind.  _ Wait a minute… _ “It won’t stop you from being forced to choose which of your friends lives or dies because things didn’t go how you thought they would and you didn’t have a back-up plan.” Jake raised an eyebrow, glancing briefly from the Usurper to the princess and back again, the nagging getting louder. But the Usurper wasn’t done, nor did she notice the dog’s contemplative expression. “You can’t stop the unexpected from happening. ‘Cause you know?” Her smile was wide and threatening, razor teeth ready to tear into Lady Evil’s throat, possibly literally. “It doesn’t take much for the illusion to fall apart. Just think about it! It only took a silver dagger to turn me into me. It just took one bad choice for everything you all know and love to fall apart.”

And then it hit Jake. His eyes widened, his mouth dropping because how could he have  _ possibly  _ missed something so important? How could any of them? He had seen this type of behavior before; granted, it had been less violent then, but the poor reasoning behind it was essentially the same. He had seen it in his own pupsters, before they were grown up enough to understand that they weren’t the center of the world, though thankfully that stage of their lives didn’t last long. But that snide comment, that barb-filled off-handed remark, was the final piece in a puzzle Jake hadn’t even been aware he was trying to solve. He glanced to his brother, to his royal, to his ladybro, but no one else seemed to pick up on the important of that comment, hadn’t seen what was right in front of their eyes, perhaps because it was just too obvious.

If he hadn’t realized it things may have ended differently. Perhaps if he had kept his mouth shut, not revealed it to the world at that exact moment the battle would not have had the victor it did. It was possible, nay probable, that if Jake the Dog had not been so happy, so eager to share his revelation the events that would follow would never have occurred. But Jake, for all of his party-animal ways, was a champion to the good, a father of five pupsters, and an insightful individual. He was a loving brother, a gallant champion, and a protective friend. He was also a filthy snoop and dirty gossip, cursed with the incessant need to know everyone’s biz, if nothing else just for a good harmless chuckle. And it was all of these traits in more than merged together in that moment. They fueled him, empowered him, gave him the confidence he needed. With a great grin he took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and let the truth fly free.

“SHE’S JEALOUS!”

It rang across the battlefield, dispersing into nothingness. Silence befell the battlefield and audience alike as five individuals, each from in place, slowly turned their heads to stare at the dog, Bonnibel and Finn in a state of shock, the Unifier flabbergasted, Lady Evil entertained, and the Usurper-

“What.”

Her tone was flat, her expression blank. Jake was undeterred, grinning wide enough to hurt his cheeks. “You are! You are  _ so  _ jealous!”

“What.” That one wasn’t the Usurper. That one was Bonnibel, and he turned to her. 

“That’s what this is!” She seemed either disbelieving or in shock, but it only spurred him forward. “No, think about it! This whole time she’s been mad mad about what you’ve done to her, right?”

“Jake, we know-”

He blew a raspberry, which effectively silenced the princess. “No, really! When we found her where was she?”

“The throne room of my castle.”

“Right! She’s mad mad, but she’s mad jealous too! Remember what Abadeer said? The lab was your lair, not your throne room! If she wanted to hurt you she’d have trashed it, but even Abadeer said that the lab was that way when they found it!”

The Usurper frowned. “Dude, I’m standing right here. And I’m not jealous, I’m-”

He turned to her, paw pointing accusingly at her. “Yeah, we get that part. You’re mad mad. We know. But for someone so mad mad you sure gave us a lot of time to get out of the castle.”

The Usurper gave a cross between a growl and a snort. “Jake, in case you’re forgetting, I’m the one that tried to crush you-”

Finn’s eyes widened with understanding. “Oh stuff. Yeah, you totes brought down the castle, but you told us you were going to do it! Well, Unifier anyway. Jake’s right, there was more than enough time for us to clear the area! Or… for…” He turned to Bubblegum, eyes widening more before he snapped back to the homicidal madwoman. “Dude. The whole time you were lumping furious at Peebo-”

“Still am, you dill-”

“Right, yeah. But that’s not what I mean. What I mean is that you’re  _ super  _ fast. You couldda easily reached her, even when you were fight us. It’s not like Unifier could’ve protected her. But you just ignored her. You told us you were gonna bring the castle down to give her time to get PB out of there!”

She sighed, not bothering to hide her irritation. “I gave you a heads up so that I could see how much it hurt her to see her precious castle collapse with her powerless to stop it. I didn’t want her dead, I wanted to break her spirit and see the light go out in her eyes as she saw everything she knew and love turn to garbage.”

“Exactly! You were mad at her for leaving you alone ‘cause she does princess junk!”

“Okay, you’re stretching that a little weak-”

But the Unifier had experienced her own realization, one that made her skin crawl. “...Tyrant.” Her eyes narrowed, unable to stop a snarl from escaping her. “ _ That’s  _ why you made Bonnibel kill her!” 

The Usurper tilted her head, eyebrow raised. “...Ya lost me.” 

The weaker vampire tensed, only just barely restraining herself from crossing the protective gate. She knew she was being baited, but for one brief, shining moment she possessed enough foresight not to give in to it. “We always thought you made Bonnibel kill Tyrant because she represented that submissive part of us you hated. The part she made because she liked us that way. But that was only half of it. You wanted  _ her  _ to kill Tyrant to punish her because of the dagger!”

“I think we kinda already established that she betrayed us-”

“Not what I mean, and you know it. Not because she betrayed  _ us _ . Because she betrayed  _ you.  _ She threw the dagger at you because she hated what you were doing. You know, taking her throne and then laughing at her about it.”

“Yeah, it was funny-”

“When we first found you remember what you told her? That she wanted us on a throne. Wanted  _ you  _ on a throne. I thought you were just trying to make her mad which… yeah, that was probably your goal actually, but it still twisted what she wanted. She wanted us on a throne, you took her throne, so she attacked you with the dagger. She rejected you because you’re the biggest monster of all of us. So when you saw her with Tyrant you thought, ‘if I can’t have her, she can’t have her either.’ It wasn’t just because Tyrant was submission, it was because Bonnibel chose her over you.” Her hand clenched as she resisted every urge to draw her bass. “That’s why you left Navigator alone. I couldn’t figure it out before. You left Finn and Jake alive because you wanted them to abandon us, and you wanted Bonnibel to choose between me and Tyrant and then suffer for it. But I couldn’t figure out why you left Navigator alone. I mean, yeah, she wasn’t as strong as you, but she was still up there, and that would seem like a great time to take her out. But you didn’t, and you didn’t because your entire goal wasn’t to take us out as threats to your ‘master plan’. It was just to punish Bonnibel for picking someone else, and she and Navigator were still fighting back then. You killed Tyrant, and she wasn’t a threat to you anyway, so what was the point?”

“...No. It’s not just that.” Bonnibel turned away from the Unifier, focused now on the increasingly-growing-more-furious Usurper. “I didn’t realize it before, but I should have.” Now all eyes were on the princess, who was concentrating solely on the Usurper. “When we were on our way to Lady Evil’s lair the Navigator and Rechte chose to keep the rest of us company while Unifier guided Jake. When Rechte acted affectionately she teased Navigator about it, and I expected there to be an altercation… but she didn’t care. You’ve always been a jealous person, and so it all struck me as odd. I assumed until this moment that it was because of what they represented, being reason and sentiment… but what if that isn’t the case? What if they didn’t react in a jealous frenzy because that piece of them is missing? What if… you aren’t just Rage? What if you’re also Jealousy itself?”

Her voice had dropped as she neared the end of her speech, a subconscious attempt to soften the blow. It was a habit developed over her centuries of friendship with the vampire, the best method of calming Marceline down when she was bordering on a full-blown bloodlust, the only way to remind an almost feral animal that it wasn’t a mindless killing machine. But this killing machine wasn’t mindless, just merciless and sadistic. The Usurper was watching her thoughtfully, the world having fallen away except for the two of them. She was expressionless, her head tilted, flaming bass still grasped firmly in her claws. Any minute now she would throw a tantrum, or at least deny her nature vehemently, growing too emotional to concentrate on both the princess and the battle. The charged emotion would cause her to lose control, or at least enough sense that Lady Evil would be able to break the stalemate and overpower her, ending her nightmare once and for all. But she wasn’t losing control. She was just watching, obvious to the chilled stares from Finn, Jake, and the Unifier, the self-satisfied beam of Lady Evil. When she spoke it was flat, not even disbelieving, not even the least bit angry. “Oh. You figured it out.” 

Finn and Jake exchanged a stunned look before a look of exasperation settled over Jake. “Wait! Is that what all of this is about?”

“All of what?”

“Your whole ‘go back to Ooo and wreck junk’ thing! Is all that just ‘cause you’re mad at the princess?!  _ That  _ was your goal the entire time?!”

The Usurper blinked. “Wha? Oh. No. My primary thing is still to just go back to Ooo, fulfill the humans’ prophecy, bla bla bla. You know. Wreck stuff and claim what’s rightfully mine by plunging the world into chaos and seeing who’s worthy of serving me when I see who rises from the ashes. Destroying Bonnie and everything she holds dear is more like a side project.” When her head snapped to the elder brother he instinctively flinched, drawing his stake on reflex. “You know, Jake… spilling a girl’s secrets is just so…” Her face scrunched and she turned to Bonnibel. “What’s that word you always call us?”

The princess’s voice fell flat.  _...Side project?!  _ “Distasteful.”

“Yeah! That! It’s distasteful to spill a girl’s secrets. So, you know, everything personal, but I’m gonna have to teach you a lesson about The Law of Bigger Than You.” She grinned. “I wonder what magic dog blood tastes like. I never got a chance to try.” 

Lady Evil shrugged. “It’s probably delicious.” 

Bonnibel glared at her. “You’re not helping, Marceline.” 

She smirked. “That’s a matter of perspective, Bon.” 

The Usurper narrowed her eyes at the two. “Yo! Hey! I’m talking here!” 

With an exaggerated sigh Lady Abadeer returned to her foe. “I know. I was blatantly ignoring you. I was talking to your ‘side project’,” she teased and the Usurper groaned. 

“Dude, you know I hate being ignored. Kind of a pet peeve, you know?”

“Yes, Usurper. That was the point.”

“...Oooohhh. I get it now! Well, you know what? I’m gonna put a brief pause on our fight. Drain Jake dry.”

“You didn’t get enough of our blood when you bit me?” She gestured to her shoulder, and it was only then that Bonnibel realized it was still bleeding, bright blood staining her once immaculate suit. 

The Usurper made a face of sheer revulsion. “Dude! I’m not drinking our own blood! Bleh. That’s just gross. But, yeah. Gimme a sec.” Her wings spread, her fangs extended… but then she stopped, something catching out of the corner of her eye. The unmistakable sight of a pink hand slowly reaching into its owner’s messenger bag. “...You know, speaking of lessons.” Without warning Bubblegum felt her messenger bag ripped from her shoulder, summoned to the Usurper. When green eyes flashed with worry the bat beast grinned. “Tell me you learned your lesson, Bonnie. Tell me you got the message after you heartlessly killed your own thrall.” But the young scientist didn’t respond, already knowing the answer. The grin widened, and the Usurper turned her attention to the bag, almost tearing it in half in her haste to open it, her expression becoming unreadable once she peered inside. “...Oh come  _ on _ , Bonnie! What do I have to do here?! You’re a brainlord! It’s like you’re  _ trying  _ to be difficult.” With a patronizing sigh she pulled the dagger out telekinetically, allowing it to float above her claw. As her talon rotated the dagger did as well. “Now, what shall I-”

She stopped, her attention returning to her bag, something else having caught her eye. With a snarl she tore it clear in half, snatching the second content: the diary. “Where did you get this.” It was a whisper, dripping with animosity as her body began to tremble with what the younger woman belatedly realized was rage. “WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?!” With all of the dignity afforded by her over four hundred years of maintaining her composure under impossible circumstances Bonnibel, straightened, catching her gaze, matching her piercing glare with her own. She was vaguely aware that Lady Evil was beginning to creep closer in a silent stroll. She was more aware that the Unifier had tensed, as if preparing to move between them. In any other circumstance she would smile at the revival of the vessel’s more protective nature, but this was different. The Usurper could and would tear her in half at the slightest provocation, and oh how she was provoked already.

“I found it in my laboratory-”

“Oh, you just  _ happened to find this in your precious laboratory?!  _ Are you kidding me?!” It was a snarl, breath she didn’t need becoming ragged. “It wasn’t enough for you to break my mind? IT WASN’T ENOUGH TO BETRAY ME?! Now you have the nerve to read my  _ secrets _ , wear your crown like you still have any  _ authority  _ over me?! HOW SELFISH CAN YOU BE?!” The diary burst into violet flames and she threw the ashes at her former-lover’s feet. Alarmed, Finn and Jake almost leapt before their princess, ready to shield her, but the Usurper looked through them, motionless except for her slow rotation of the dagger. Her claw rose, talon pointed squarely at the younger woman. “You, Bonnibel Bubblegum, are a bad person.”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay!” The words escaped her before she could stop them, and the Usurper gaped. 

“ _ That’s  _ your excuse?! How dumb do you think I am?! I’m obvs NOT okay since  _ you broke my brain _ ! You just have this freaky need to control everything and buzz to everyone who gets hurt when you do it!”

Bonnibel took a steadying breath. It would do no good to match the Usurper’s anger with her own, nor would it help anything to inform her of how the diary got in her lab in the first place. “Look-”

The vampire’s voice fell flat. “No. I’m done with this. You see this thing?” She motioned to the dagger floating above her claw, as if she could possibly miss it. As if anyone could forget that it existed. “This killed Tyrant. Now? Now I’m gonna use it to kill the wad. Then? Then I’m gonna use it to kill the runt.” Her attention abruptly turned to the Unifier, whose eyes narrowed in challenge. “You’re a disgrace, you know. I had hopes for you, you know? I heard you at the cabin. How mad you were at this… trash.” Her eyes flickered to Bubblegum, who couldn’t stop her flinch at the level of hostility in the Usurper’s voice. Even for her the amount of venom was impressively malicious. “I thought you’d get it. But look at you. You don’t even realize how close you are to her, do you?” To the pink-haired woman’s relief the Unifier didn’t take the bait. “Man, you guys are dumb. Like… just… wow. You should be thanking me for this. You should be kissing my perfect butt. But you don’t even get how I’m doing this  _ for us _ .”

“You’re doing this for you.”

“Hey, it talks!” Her twisted grin returned, her focus now on the Unifier. “And… yeah, duh, me. You’re a tool. Tyrant was a tool. Navigator and Arbitrator were weak. Rechte was on her own personal Percy. Sad about Linke, though. I liked her. Little weird, but who am I to judge?”

“You’re psychotic.”

“Exactly! I’m not the most reliable source of info, ya know?” She nodded solemnly. “But you’ll like being dead, I promise! I mean… you don’t have a choice either-” But the Usurper didn’t get to finish. She felt the heat of Lady Evil’s fire before she felt the flames themselves, but couldn’t turn, couldn’t escape as two grey claws grabbed her wings, piercing the supple flesh with impossibly sharp talons. The white fire engulfed her wings, spreading to the fur on her back. With a preternatural screech the Usurper thrashed, the adrenaline of rage allowing her to ignore the pain as she attempted to pull away. But Lady Evil’s grip was too strong, and her impossibly hot fire was melting the flesh of the batlike-wings. The smell was unimaginable, the sight so grotesque that Jake turned, heaving into the black ground as Finn and Bonnibel looked on in horror.

Lady Evil was grinning, positively beaming at the sight of her counterpart in such unfathomable pain as she pulled the previously floating vampire down to her. When the fire reached the Usurper’s axe Lady Evil pulled on the charred wings, ripping them down. Bones cracked, tendons snapped, and the blood, oh the blood. And she was maiming her slowly, taking obvious sick joy in the Usurper’s agony. When her wings were finally liberated from the rest of her body her axe fell, embedding itself in the ground below her, the dagger dropping next to it. It was only then that the half-demon kicked her away, expecting that the damage would be too great, that the rest of the battle would essentially be over.

But it wasn’t over. The Usurper dug her claws in the hard ground, slowly her skid as dark blood drenched her back. With a roar her shape shifted and the bat became a wolf. Yet this was not the wolf the outsiders were familiar with. That wolf was quadrupedal, tense and twitching muscle and sharp teeth, wiry grey fur and red and black slitted eyes, the form Whole Marceline often chose when the desire to run with the wild wolves in the forests of Ooo overcame her. Large, humongous even, but unmistakably a wolf.

This was not that wolf.

She was bipedal now, grey fur so dark it was almost black. She was tall, lanky, her limbs too long for her height, too angular to be anything but grotesque. Her muzzle was wrinkled, too long and mostly needle-sharp teeth, her eyes convex and yellow Her talons were longer than than her palms, her claws more hands than paws. Her fur was bristled, especially along her spine, but it was difficult to see under the copious amounts of blood. Already the wounds were beginning to heal, but the large gaping holes made the recovery process slow. Through it all Lady Evil was the picture of narcissism itself. With another roar the wolf summoned the dagger to her, where it resumed floating in her palm “You  _ BUTTNUGGET  _ You absolute  _ PILE.  _ I’m going to do what I should have done before!”

Before Lady Abadeer could react the dagger was launched at full force, lodging itself squarely in the less-damaged-queen’s abdomen with enough force to force her backwards, causing her to stumble and lose her balance, recovering just in time to prevent her from falling. Instinctively, her arms came around the wound, shielding it from further damaged as she grimaced from the pain. Bonnibel’s eyes widened in horror as she watched the hated silver embed itself in their last hope of ever defeating the lunatic…

...Only to blink in confusion when said last hope chuckled softly, coughing bright blood to her side. It didn’t sour her mood. A quick glance to the Usurper revealed that she was just as stunned as the rest of them. Finn looked rapidly from Lady Evil, then to the Usurper, then back again.  _ Why isn’t she screaming in pain? Why isn’t she writhing on the ground like the Unifier did? Why isn’t- _

Lady Abadeer straightened slowly, claw trying to stem the flow of blood now soaking her shirt and tie. When she spoke it was softly, almost labored; Bonnibel quickly determined that it must have just missed her solar plexus. “I don’t want to split hairs, Usurper… but was that  _ really  _ your plan? Because I can think of three problems. One,” she straightened to her full height, staggering from what the princess assumed must be blood loss, “you missed my heart or really anything that would cause an immediate fatal wound. Two,” she drew her claw up, tapped her amulet, the source of power around her neck, “Deathless.” Jake gulped.  _ She… can’t die?  _ “But the biggest problem?” With sweet smile she reach down, wrapping her bare claws around the hilt of the dagger. “Silver hurts vampires, and silver hurts werewolves. But do you know what silver  _ doesn’t  _ hurt?”

Five pairs of eyes widened. Finn whispered the answer, just as Lady Evil spoke.

“Demons.”

Finn felt his blood run cold, the words of the Navigator echoing in his mind.

_ When it happens, you’ll know. _

His breath caught.  _ That’s what she was trying to tell me! Lady Evil isn’t a vampire! She’s a full-blooded demon! That’s why she was so eager to take my sword as payment! _

The dagger was twirled in grey claws, the demon taking visible delight in the group’s collective shock. Even the Usurper seemed surprised, only to quickly convert it back to rage. “Are you  _ kidding me _ ?!”

“‘Fraid not. Sorry. You all just assumed I was a vampire. I never said I was. I just strongly implied it.” She tapped the dagger with her free claw, her stomach wound no longer seeping blood. Bonnibel blinked.  _ But… how is she heal-  _ “But thanks for the dagger. You know what Bonnie always says: give us enough time and we’ll  _ always  _ trap ourself.” If Finn had hoped that the Usurper would lose her mind in fury and attack he was sorely disappointed. 

Instead she summoned her axe from where it was caught in the dark ground, baring its edge to Lady Evil. “Alright, I’ll admit. That was kinda cool. Wouldn’t think to call you the dramatic type, though. What gives?” 

To Finn’s disbelief she sounded genuinely curious, and Lady Evil shrugged. “Information is a weapon. If you had been aware that I wasn’t a vampire you wouldn’t have given me this lovely present, and I’d be having a harder time winning, right?”

The Usurper shrugged, either unaware of the danger of that statement or simply ignoring it. “True, true. But a shiny new toy isn’t going to save you-”

“And you’re stalling, hoping I won’t notice that you’re still bleeding. That you’re injured. Weak.” 

The Usurper’s irreverence dropped. “...What did you call me.”

“Weak, Usurper. I called you weak. Because that’s what you are, injured or not. You rely on brute force, and you revel in being a predator. But do you know how you stop a predator? With a bigger predator. And that’s why I’m here. To show you that despite all of your strength and ferocity you’ll always be second best.”

“...Second best.”

“Mmhm.”

“...You know, there’s kind of a flaw in your scheme, wad. Yeah, you don’t have the same weaknesses vamps have, but you got demonic weaknesses. I can’t kill you unless I get that necklace off you. But I can still hurt you really  _ really  _ badly, and by the time I’m done you’ll beg for True Death. Maybe I’ll give it to you. Maybe I won’t. Why ruin the moment with the tiny details?” With that said the Usurper slammed her foot to the ground, causing a deep fissure to form, cracking the land as it spread outward, destabilizing its integrity. The ripples were deep and sudden, causing even the gallery to stumble, Finn grasping the gate for support, the Unifier instinctively steadying Bonnibel to prevent her from leaving the safe zone. She didn’t seem to notice, and the princess chose not to acknowledge it, only taking a small comfort that somewhere inside of her maybe-lover there was still a part that cared enough to protect her. Even if it was from something so ultimately inconsequential. She felt the brief fluttering of hope. To her side, so did Finn, and he didn’t draw attention to it either. What he did draw attention to was Lady Evil’s stumble; without the ability to fly she was unable to evade the crumbling landscape.

The moment Lady Evil lost her balance her eyes dropped to the ground in an attempt to find the best spots, the most stable areas, to regain her composure. That was all the Usurper needed, and she leapt at her enemy, muzzle open and fangs exposed, ready to tear her in literal half. Lady Abadeer caught her from the corner of her eye and reach open, grabbing both halves of the Usurper’s muzzle, holding them open. When a furry claw lashed out, trying to to grab Lady Abadeer if not drive her back the demon released her bottom jaw, drawing her axe; she suffered a deep slash to her already open wound, but repaid in kind by slicing off the offending paw. 

When the Usurper drew her mangled arm back in automatic reflex Lady Evil rotated her axe, slamming the staff into her neck; the Usurper was strong, but Whole Marceline’s immense strength came from her demonic half, and Lady Abadeer’s blood wasn’t diluted with human essence. The maniacal lunatic gagged as the strike force her to the ground, stomach-first. Before she could recover Lady Evil slammed the base of her axe’s handle into her injured back, stunning her just long enough for the demon to flip her over. As she panted in fatigue her boot came down, driving it onto her chest with enough force to pin her. She embedded her axe back in the ground, no longer able to carefully balance both it and the dagger. The Usurper’s undamaged arm shifted into a scythe only to have it caught in Lady Abadeer’s claw, which bled but didn’t release it. Instead it squeezed, the sounds of bones cracking ringing across the barren wasteland. As she struggled to free herself Lady Evil panted for precious oxygen, taking a sharp intake of breath to regain control over her breathing.

Her head tilted as she took full stock of her pinned self. All humor evaporated from her voice, replaced with a patronizing sigh. “It’s over, Usurper. Do you know why you lost? Because you let yourself be overcome by emotion. You let it cloud your judgment and manipulate your way of thinking. But you can’t help that. It’s your nature. Still, had you maintained your composure you may have bested me. But that would be asking too much of you, and I have to say: I’m very disappointed in you.” The Usurper spat dark blood at her, but Lady Abadeer only tilted her head, eyes filled with pity, and perhaps relief. She glanced to the dagger, aiming it over her other self’s heart. The was no fear in the Usurper’s eyes, only rage, made worse by her silence. “I find this very fitting, you know. You used this dagger to kill Tyrant. And now I’m going to use it to kill you. That’s called poetic justice-”

“Wait.”

Lady Abadeer stopped and turned over her shoulder. “Yes, BonBon? I’m kind of in the middle of something here.” 

Bonnibel nodded. “I know. This will only take a moment.” When the Baddie didn’t argue the princess turned to- “Jake, I need the stake.” With a look of bafflement he wordlessly handed over the wooden death stick. “Thank you.” She left the safety of the faux-Nightosphere as her friends looked on in grave concern. Lady Evil’s head tilted in curiosity as pink hands took the dagger, replacing it with the stake. 

Her eyebrow arched in amusement. “What are you thinking, Bon?”

For a long moment the young scientist said nothing, only staring at the object of her guilt. When she spoke her voice was strained with shame. “I just…” She gulped, reaching a decision. “This will never be used to hurt you. Never again.”

Lady Evil’s smile was almost pleasant. “Even her?”

Bonnibel nodded, turning to fully regard the Usurper. “Yes. Even her.” Secure in the knowledge that the pinned Baddie wasn’t going anywhere - although she was certainly trying, even now - she kneeled next to her. “I’m sorry, Usurper. I know you can’t understand that because of what you are, but I am, and once we return home I’ll spend however long it takes to convince you of that.” The Usurper spat dark blood at her, but Bubblegum hadn’t expected anything less. Instead she stood, taking a few steps back to give Lady Abadeer space. 

“Alright. Proceed.” 

Two black eyebrows raised. “I gotta recommend you don’t look, Bon. Pretty gruesome stuff.” 

But Bonnibel shook her head. “No. I want to watch. She’s still part of my Marcy, and she deserves to not have her death ignored.” 

Lady Evil watched her closely, searching green eyes for something unknown. Then she shrugged. “Well, you’re the client.” She turned back to the Usurper, kneeling as she brought the stake down directly over her dead heart in one swift thrust.

The Usurper didn’t say a word as she fell to ash.

Lady Evil snatched her piece of the soul shard, clutching it tightly as it thrashed. “Oh, stop being so dramatic.” With a self-satisfied smile she turned back to Finn, Jake, and the Unifier. “You can stop cowering in fear now. She’s dead.” 

Jake narrowed his eyes at her. “And you’re just gonna give Unifier the shard, right?” 

Lady Evil rolled her eyes. “Yes, Jake.”

“Right now?”

“Yes, Jake. We have a contract, and I take those very seriously. Now come get the shard so that I can receive my payment. I’m quite eager to take my crown. And my sword.” She grinned at Finn, who grimaced, but stepped forward, his brother and ladybro following closely behind. As the Unifier approached Lady Abadeer Finn drew his sword, Jake enlarging his right paw into a massive fist, both a silent threat, a silent defense. Keeping the corner of her eye on the last Baddie Bonnibel left her side, returning to the Unifier, who was hesitating in absorbing the Usurper. The princess gave her a soft, reassuring smile. 

“Hey. It’s alright. We’re right here.”

“Yeah. But so is she."

Lady Abadeer rolled her eyes, holding out her offering. “I’m contractually obligated to give you this soulshard. Further, I am contractually obligated to let you absorb it. Now, take your prize so that I can take mine.” With great reluctance the Unifier reached out, snatching the mal-tempered shard and, with a deep breath, absorbed it.

Her grasping her chest in agony was a horrible sense of deja vu for the princess, whose mind was overtaken by visions of the Nightosphere, and her near-decapitation. Without thinking she was pulling the vampire closer, preventing her from collapsing from the overwhelming sensation of another part of her - the most wrathful part - reattaching to her soul. It was rebelling fiercely, actively fighting against the very notion of assimilation; the Unifier had to admit that she wasn’t too thrilled with the idea either and felt some part of her snap shut, resisting Rage point blank. Her body was tense, her hands shifting reflexively into claws which gripped at her chest, piercing her shirt as her eyes screwed tight. Her skin was sensitive, everything was too bright, her friends’ voices were too loud. It was sensory overload, it was too much. With Jake’s assistance the half-demon was lowered to the ground slowly, the bulk of her weight against the princess, whose arms were wrapped around her shoulders reassuringly, protectively. The vampire’s whimper was faint as she felt her vision go black, vaguely aware that someone somewhere was talking to her, but wasn’t sure who it was or what they were saying, and she couldn’t find it within her to care. She was too busy trying to keep conscious, but it was a losing battle.

“Come on, Marcy. I know it hurts, but it’s going to be worse if you keep fighting it,” Bonnibel whispered, hand cupping her cool cheek. She couldn’t know that for sure, of course, but it seemed to implicitly make sense to her, and all she could do - practically speaking - was to be there, to hold her close. It was a possessive embrace, born not from the selfishness so innate to the princess that had haunted her through much of this adventure, but out of the desire to protect her; the vampire was her’s and her responsibility. In Marceline’s mind internal wars were just as dangerous as external ones, and she refused to let the half-demon succumb to it. “I know it hurts, but it’ll be over soon.” Another potential lie, but hopefully only a little white one. The vessel curled against her, finally falling still as her claws returned to hands, oblivious to the three sets of concerned eyes, the one set of impassive ones. “That’s it, Marcy. Almost over,” she murmured, rubbing small, soothing circles in her back.  _ Please let it be almost over.  _ Bonnibel wasn’t quite sure how long her lover had laid prone against her, but it was long enough for Jake to straighten, allowing him to back up just a few steps to give them space.

It was the feeling of warmth that roused her, the sensation of having a person with a working heart and bodyheat holding her. With a soft whimper her eyes creaked open, slitted and glassy. “Marcy?” She jolted, a soft growl escaping her, only to relax when her eyes began to focus and she realized that she was surrounded by three people, it taking several moments more before she realized that these people were worried friends. As she relaxed her eyes dilated, and all three outsiders breathed a collective sigh of relief. 

“...Yeah. I think so.” 

Finn grinned. “Welcome back, man. You worried us!” 

Trembling, she began to stand, aided in no small part by a grateful Bonnibel. “There we go, Marcy.” The princess didn’t bother to hide the relief in her voice. The Unifier only offered a weak smile in return, but it could have easily been a grimace. 

Only once she was standing on her own power did Jake allow his grin to match his brother’s, sharing an elated fist-bump. “Alright! Usurper’s toast! We got everyone!”

“Well, not everyone I’m afraid.”

She sounded so sincerely apologetic that Finn, Jake, and Bonnibel almost missed Lady Abadeer thrusting the stake into the Unifier’s back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Gone:
> 
> Chaotic Evil (Power Recovered: Shapeshifting)  
> Chaotic Good (Power Recovered: Invisibility)  
> Neutral Good (Power Recovered: Telekinesis)  
> Neutral Evil (Power Recovered: Pyrokinesis)  
> Lawful Neutral (Power Recovered: Healing)  
> Lawful Good (Power Recovered: Flight)  
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
> Not Gone:
> 
> Lawful Evil  
> True Neutral(?)


	23. Power of Suggestion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Aaaand we're back! This chapter has the official distinction of having the single most revisions of any chapter in this entire story. It was originally supposed to be much shorter, but then I realized that this chapter was the perfect opportunity to set up for the mini-series that's going to follow Rehearsal, which would mean more creative freedom in the future. Hooray for foresight!
> 
> You may have noticed that the chapter count has changed once more, and now sits at 26, (up from 25). Why? When we get to Chapter 26 you'll see, but I'm not spoiling the surprise. This is the last time the count will be changing.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Graphic Violence (Tame for Rehearsal)  
> Mind Games  
> Shady Deals (guys, don't make deals with people who may or may not be the literal devil)  
> Self-Mutilation  
> Medical Terminology and Injury Description (I even consulted a medical student for accuracy!)  
> Bonnie May Be Fed Up

**** This had happened before.

It was a thought that was matter-of-fact, cloaked in a veil of numbness. It was an overactive mind trying to find some way to make sense of what was happening and, desperate for something to latch onto, it had latched on to the fact that this had happened before. Marceline, hanging by a frayed thread between Unlife and True Death. An impossible enemy looming, imposing, unrelenting. Finn and Jake holding the enemy at bay, guarding their friends, trusting their princess, their wise and brilliant friend, to come up with some solution, anything. And Bonnibel herself, holding a prone Marceline and trying frantically to rouse her, knowing in that cold, cruel, logical part that was the skeleton of her mind that it wasn’t going to work. She had no gadgets, no inventions, no laboratory, no time. She had only her mate, the love of her life, still and silent in her arms. At some point she had started to cry, and some point after that she had begun to beg softly, beyond dignity.

“Marcy… please wake up. Please… I need you…”

This had happened before, years ago. The differences were negligible. Back then Finn didn’t have a demon blood sword to hold off the enemy, only some stakes and garlic bombs. Marceline wasn’t dying because of a stake in her back, she had been envenomed. The enemy hadn’t worn her face, it had been another vampire who wanted revenge for her own murder almost a thousand years prior. But the situation was the same, and Bonnibel was struggling to make sense of it. Her thoughts, normally organized with expert precision, were jumbled. Her senses were overloaded and hyper-focused. Half of her was numb, half of her overwhelmed with rage and anguish. She begged Marceline to come back to her, patted her face gently, just as she did years ago. Could her vampire even hear her? She didn’t want to know the answer to that question.

Two furry fingers snapping in front of her broke her trance. At some point in her panic Jake had kneeled in front of her, not touching her vampire but close enough to. That was new, she realized in that numb part of her brain. The last time this happened Jake had focused on helping his brother protect Marceline from the Moon, but she supposed a demon blood sword against a full-blooded demon must even the score. He looked worried, frowning in a way that didn’t fit him in the slightest. When Jake realized that his monarch was still dazed, he frowned deeper. “What’s the story, Bubblegum?” His voice was oddly soft; he didn’t want to startle her. Didn’t want to jostle the stake lodged in his friend’s back.

“I… don’t know.”

He wasn’t used to seeing Princess Bubblegum so dumbstruck, or looking so helpless. Jake glanced over his shoulder; Finn and Lady Evil were at an impasse. It wouldn’t last long.  _ Come on, Jake. We don’t gots a lot of time.  _ He didn’t say that. He didn’t need to. Didn’t want to. Couldn’t. “We got this.” 

But Bonnibel was shaking her head slowly, eyes glassy. “Jake, I don’t even know where to begin-” 

But he did. He saw the obvious, a concept that often evaded the young scientist because of how brilliant she was. “Look. She’s not ash. We gotta know why.” Bonnibel blinked at that, taking a shuddering breath. It was hard, and her hands were shaking just like the rest of her, but she rotated Marceline slowly, just enough to see the cause of her misery: The stake in her back. She blinked again, harder, clearing the last of the traitorous tears.  _...He’s right. She’s not ash. So she must-  _ The numb part of her brain morphed into something logical, something useful. 

“You’re right. She’s not ash. There has to be a reason.”  _ Okay. Let’s logic the fuzz out of this, Bubblegum. Marcy’s a vampire. A stake through the heart ganks a vampire. If a vampire is ganked they turn to ash. But she’s not ash. So that means-  _ She sucked in her breath, her stomach souring as she took a closer look at the wound. Gore had never sickened her before, her own machinations having desensitized her over her eight and a half centuries of life. But with Marceline it was different. It would always be different. The stake was deep enough in her back that it could stand upright of its own accord. Dark blood was flowing readily from it, obscuring the entrance wound itself and preventing her from seeing exactly how deep the death stick was. It didn’t matter. There was only one explanation. “It didn’t pierce her heart.” 

Jake’s expression brightened. “Awesome!” When Bonnibel didn’t share his enthusiasm his expression fell. “...Not awesome?” 

She shook her head. “No. Not awesome.” The dog stared intently, wrapped in confusion, but she hardly noticed. “The stake obviously did significant damage to her if she’s unconscious, perhaps comatose.” A deep, steadying breath that only partially lived up to its expectation. “But if she’s not ash that means it didn’t pierce her heart. Based on its angle and placement my best guess is a blunt cardiac injury, most likely a myocardial contusion-” Her audience’s stare was blank now, and she sighed. “Her heart is bruised, though I’m not sure how that’s possible. If the stake reached her heart enough to bruise it then it should have pierced it.”

“What if it just went too fast and then stopped? Like-,” his paw hit his palm. 

Now it was her turn to frown. “Jake, I fail to see-” With great effort she stopped herself. Now was not the time to get into hypothetical arguments about unlikely situations. She had no equipment necessary to perform a full diagnostic and she was running out of time. A myocardial contusion was the most likely scenario, but it was also a dangerous, unstable one. Bruises on sensitive, vital organs could turn fatal at the slightest, softest movement. “Alright, let’s go with that for right now.” Jake did his best to hide his beam. It was entirely inappropriate for the situation, of course, but it was rare he could suggest something science-y and have it accepted. 

“So, how do we fix it?” Her dejected sigh was answer enough. It was the exact same sigh Finn gave when he found a situation hopeless, and it was a sigh he had a lifetime experience in combating. “Come on, Bubblegum, don’t be like that. If anyone can do this it’s you. So lay some logic on me.”

She cracked the knuckles of her free hand to distract herself from how cramped her occupied one was getting. “...You’re right. Alright. The problem is that we don’t know if removing the stake will cause more damage, but we cannot leave it in there.”

“Wouldn’t it do more harm than good to leave it, though? All it would take is someone knocking it a little-” He stopped at her grimace.

“Yes, but there’s a secondary issue. With Marceline unconscious she wouldn’t be able to heal the wound. It would leave her heart exposed.” 

Under his fur Jake paled at the thought of a squishy bloody heart just hanging out of his friend. “But… I’ve seen her heal a butt-ton of times when she’s asleep.”

“But she’s not asleep. In all likelihood she’s comatose-”  _ unable to live unable to die only able to suffer _ “-most likely due to the vicinity of the stake’s damage in relation to her heart. Further… she’s never needed to heal an injury like this before.”  _ I don’t even know if she could even if she were awake.  _ She ignored that thought, discounting it as counterproductive. If her vampire ever needed her to be strong for her it was now. “Healing isn’t something her body simply does. It can be reflexive, but she has to understand how to repair it first.”

“So we gotta pull the stake out super-careful, then get her to wake up and hope she can figure out how to heal herself before Lady Wad gets past Finn and finishes the job?” He shrugged at his own question. “Sounds good to me.”

Bonnibel didn’t bother keeping the irritation from her voice. “It’s not that simple-”

“Probably not, but I don’t think we have a better plan.” 

It was hard for her to argue with that logic. With great reluctance she nodded. “You’re right.” 

Despite the acknowledgement she didn’t move and he offered a small smile. “Come on, princess. I’ll keep her steady. You pull it out, then keep her safe, ‘kay? I’ll help Finn lay down the law while she recovers. She’s gonna be fine, then we’re gonna kick Abadeer’s butt.” From behind he thought he heard the demon correct him with a shout of ‘ _ perfect  _ butt’, but chose to pretend he didn’t. 

But the suggestion was as good a plan as any and Bonnibel offered her own weak smile. “Yes. She’ll be alright.”  _ Please be alright, Marcy. Please, you have to be.  _

It took several long minutes and expert precision for Jake and Bubblegum to maneuver a limp and lifeless Marceline to the ground, knowing that the slightest ill move could thrust the stake the rest of the way through the rest of her chest, into her heart, and neither was willing to risk simply ripping the death stick out in their impatience. It was torturous, but Marceline was moved to rest her head in the princess’s lap, back exposed. Her pink hand caressed her lover’s grey cheek before she leaned over as closely as she dared; unable to reach her forehead she had to settle for kissing the air just above it.  _ She looks so… small. So vulnerable. You have to be alright, Marcy. Remember? I have a promise to keep. I… have a lot of promises I made to you that I need to keep. If this doesn’t work you’ll revert to a soul shard. ...Hopefully. There must be a way to bargain with Lady Abadeer for you if that happens. ...Hopefully.  _ Logically, she knew that she should also have a farewell prepared, just in case. But logic could go take a flying leap for all she cared.

“Ready, Bubblegum?”

_ No. Yes. Never. Always.  _ “Ready.”

With one more encouraging thumbs up Jake gently held his prone friend still, holding her by one leg and arm, staying clear of her open wound. He watched intently, silently as the candy golem wrapped her hand around the stake. She took a deep breath. When her mental count reached ‘drei’ she pulled upwards, removing the wooden weapon with one swift movement born from centuries of muscle memory; she may have limited experience in staking vampires, but that cold, unfeeling part of her mind was responsible for any number of atrocious experiments, and it knew how to act in situations like these. She wasn’t sure if she that could or should bring her any comfort, all things considering, but she would take what she could get.

The moment it was dislodged from the musician Bonnibel tossed the stake to the side, as far away from her as she could. Where it went she didn’t know and she didn’t care; it was away from her queen and that was all she was concerned with. Her queen, who was still motionless, still so cold, even for her. In truth, the younger woman hadn’t actually expected anything else, but it still felt like a piercing wound in her own heart, wherever it was. The blood was still flowing, moreso now without the stake to stem the tide. It had begun to soak the pink-haired woman’s borrowed letterman jacket, but that didn’t register. She was too busy pulling Marceline as close as she dared, not willing to risk further damage. When she began to tremble Jake looked away politely, instead settling on his friend.  _ Come on, Marce. Don’t make a liar outta me. _

Were it a movie, or even a video game, the dramatic removal of the stake would have revived his undead friend. She would have opened her eyes, seen her best bro and ladybro around her and slowly come to consciousness. Given the circumstance she may even make a sarcastic remark as she mended her grievous wound before rising and joining Finn to face down her evil self, the last piece of the soul she needed to become whole. To bring her home. But this was neither a movie, nor a video game, and she wasn’t waking up. In the back of his mind Jake wondered if it was possible for a woman who was essentially an animated corpse to bleed out, but he pushed that thought away. It was unpleasant to say the least. His ears drooped when he realized that Marceline was indeed making a liar out of him. Bonnibel was trembling now, at a complete loss, something he had only seen once before, but this time Marceline’s regenerative capability wasn’t saving her, because evidently she needed to be conscious to know how to knit herself whole.

Finn’s shout, coupled with the stench of burning flesh, was enough to draw the immediate focus of both Jake and the princess. It was only then that the latter understood why the assault hadn’t continued, and why Marceline wasn’t a pile of ash to begin with: Lady Evil’s right arm no longer ended in a ferocious claw. It instead terminated in a grey stump, recently cauterized by an impossibly hot fire, blood covering the coat’s sleeve and the desolate ground. Bubblegum put the pieces together.  _ Finn must have cut off her hand to prevent her from…  _ Unable to acknowledge that Marceline may still very well die she redirected her mental expenditure.  _ That may explain the myocardial contusion. If she wasn’t able to push enough force into her attack it may not have been fully able to bypass her ribs, or it may have stopped short of her pericardium, perhaps piercing it but not her actual heart- _

“WHAT THE FLIP IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Her attention returned to Finn and the demon.

“I’m a violent sociopath,” Lady Abadeer replied coolly.

“You said we would talk about you surrendering after you killed the Usurper!”

A new realization broke the candy elemental’s concentration, something that chilled her: in all of the years she had known her champion she had never seen Finn like this. Not truly. This wasn’t anger, this wasn’t enmity, this wasn’t even animosity. This was rage, this was righteous fury. She imagined that something quite severe in the boy must have snapped, and she was grateful for it. If her suspicions were correct his years of acting without thinking - a trait she had scolded him for more than once - may have very well been what saved her mate’s life, or at least given Bonnibel the chance to do it for her.  _ The moment the stake had pierced her back he must have reacted thoughtlessly, cutting off her claw in defense. _ If her suspicions were correct she owed the young hero more than she could ever repay. And here he stood now, demon blood sword acting as an offensive barrier, preventing Lady Evil from pressing onward. By her calm demeanor and relaxed posture she did not seem to consider the blade to be a true threat, but then that could easily be misdirection, a way of hiding her nervousness.

At least, Bonnibel hoped so.

Lady Abadeer sighed wearily. “No, Finn, I didn’t. I said we  _ could  _ discuss the terms of my surrender after I killed Usurper. And we could have. We just didn’t.” 

Finn’s teeth clenched. “You didn’t plan on surrendering, did you.” It was a statement, drenched in the bulk of his ire. 

“No, I didn’t. That would be counterproductive.”

“Counterproductive? To what?!”

Jake frowned, standing as he stood between the being of evil and his mangled friend, because he was a hero as well and he thought it time to remind her of that fact.  “You planned all this junk.”

Lady Evil smirked. “‘Course I did, Jake. The Usurper was absolutely right: I am a machinator, and it would do absolutely no good for me to leave anything significant up to chance. You hoped I would give myself up. Your mistake, I’m afraid, because I’ve worked tirelessly to weave this,” she gestured to the world around her, “together.” She flicked her eyes to Bonnibel momentarily, as if expecting her to demand an explanation, but the princess was silent. It didn’t deter her; she was more than encouraged by the proverbial fire in Finn’s eyes, the growing animus in Jake’s stance. “My goal has always been to go back to Ooo. I’ve told you as much. That shouldn’t be a surprise after all this time. I have plans that I can’t really deal with in my mind, you know? Time to go back. But as unhinged as the Usurper was she was correct that this is a survival game, and only one of us gets to go back. From the moment I found our internal clock inside our Moral Code I knew that not much time had passed between our worlds, and I knew then that Bonnibel was going to come looking for us. I imagined she’d take you both with her. That’d be the logical thing to do.” There was no taunt in her voice, it was only matter-of-fact, as if she were describing the events of history long since passed. “I told you before, it didn’t matter to me if Bonnie was coming for us as her mate or her property, the result was the same. You just didn’t ask what the result was.”

Three outsiders experienced the sudden realization simultaneously, but none dared voice it. It was just too real. But the despondency in their eyes was enough, and the narcissistic venom returned to Lady Evil’s voice. No one missed it, but no one had a say in the matter. “You learned pretty quick that in order to bring us home as one whole person you’d need Unifier to absorb us all, which she wouldn’t be able to do unless the rest of us died. If she was missing even one of us she wouldn’t be  _ your  _ Marceline anymore, so you needed to be pretty thorough. So I just waited and let you do all of the hard work for me. Granted, I almost died in the process, but your journey was objectively more dangerous. You allowed Arbitrator to die, Rechte killed Linke, Jake killed Rechte, Bonnie was forced to kill Tyrant, and the Unifier killed Navigator for me. All I had to do was kill Usurper.”

Finn gripped his sword tighter. “...You set us up.”

“I did, yeah.”

“You used us.”

“Yeah, and I did a really excellent job of it.”

“...I can’t believe we trusted you.”

“I can’t believe you trusted me either.”

Ears perked with a sudden thought, Jake began to dig through the fur pocket that once held his stake, but now held a potentially even more potent weapon. “Wait! You can’t hurt Unifier! It’s in your contract! That’s called a ‘breach’!” 

Although her second sigh was tired as well she either couldn’t or didn’t hide the quirk in her lips that signified a repressed smile. “There are three problems with your logic, Jake. One,” she held up a talon, “my portion of the contract was fulfilled as soon as my task was complete. Read it. My named task was killing Usurper and allowing Unifier to absorb her soulshard. I didn’t need payment - which you still owe me, by the way - in order to be released from the legal binding. Two,” a second talon, “I didn’t hurt her. Finn did.”

“Are you-”

“ _ Your _ mistake, Jake, was not defining your terms.” His eyes narrowed, a gesture mirrored by his brother. It would have been comical were the situation not so grave. At least, comical to anyone not Lady Evil, who clearly found it humorous anyway. “Because you didn’t specify what exactly ‘don’t hurt the Unifier’ meant I was free to interpret it as I see fit.”

“How is this  _ not  _ hurting her?!” He pointed at Marceline, still clutched tightly in Bonnibel’s arms. It didn’t escape either brother’s notice that when Lady Evil glanced to her fallen self she avoided Bubblegum’s eyes entirely. 

“Because, Jake, I’m quite familiar with my own anatomy and physiology. Had you let me stake her her death would have been painless, but because Finn interrupted me in a vain attempt to save her here she lies, halfway between Unlife and True Death, unable to firmly grasp either. The third problem, though,” a third talon went up, “is that it’s arguable whether or not she’s feeling any pain at all in this moment. What comatose patients feel is largely up for debate, and she looks pretty comatose to me. Honestly, the best possible thing for her would be to let me finish killing her,” she nodded solemnly. Unheard by any but pink ears, the demon’s voice had dropped slightly.  _ Is… she talking to me?  _ “She can’t recover, I’m sorry to say. We can’t heal wounds this injurious when we’re unconscious, and it’s not like we’ve ever needed to heal an injured heart before. ‘Cause of the obvious.”

Bonnibel watched her silently, noting the odd softness in garnet eyes, the way her remaining claw fell to her side. Lady Evil was watching her carefully now, her specifically, the taunting tone having dropped the moment she redirected to the candy golem. Something about that logic bothered Bubblegum, something obvious that she was missing. But she didn’t know what, and she needed time to parse through that reasoning. It was flawed, or at least she thought so. Hoped so. But the being of evil wasn’t the only one observing her carefully: Finn was also watching her, silently asking if the princess had a plan. When her hand twitched in a silent request he knew what he needed to do: Stall the baddie. His teeth clenched. “We’re not letting you get away with this, Abadeer.”

She raised an eyebrow, turning back to the human. “Cliche. And what exactly am I doing wrong? Aside from killing Unifier, I mean, and even that is arguable as she’s only a part of me. I’m not the Usurper, Finn. It’s not like I’m going back to Ooo to wreck it. I have no interest in Ooo at all. My domain has and will always be the Nightosphere.”

“That’s not-”

Her smile was sad of all things. “It is, though. The Nightosphere has always called us. It was easier to ignore in our younger days, but it’s been getting louder over the past two centuries. The rest of us didn’t exactly get it, but I did. It’s inevitable, you know? We’ll go, take up daddy’s amulet, and rule the place with an iron claw. Or… I will, at least. You know what I mean.”

“Is that all you want?” It was a quiet, dangerous question, and once more Lady Abadeer’s malicious taunts fell away before her lover. “Yes, Bonnie. The Usurper had her own view of our destiny, and I have mine. We’ve been hiding much from you in our time together, and this is just one example. It calls us. It calls me.” More than anything, Bonnibel needed to know who and what this woman was, but changed her mind when she glanced down at Marceline.  _...Almost more than anything. I want you back so much more.  _ Her hand clenched around her vampire’s soaked shirt. The bleeding had stopped.  _ That’s either really good or really bad. Come on, Marcy. You have to wake up. You’re my-  _ Her eyes widened with an idea, and she lifted her head. 

“...For my own clarity, I need to ask: everything you’re doing now is for your ability to return to the Nightosphere and formally become Lady Evil, and all that comes with it. Because that’s what you want more than anything.”

The demon nodded calmly. “Yup, that’s right.”

“Even more than me?”

Lady Abadeer knew where this was going, and now her weary sigh was genuine. “Bonnie, don’t do this.”

“You’re my mate, Marceline. Are you not?”

“I am. You’re aware of this fact.”

“Yes, I am. That means you’re bonded to me. You can’t exactly get around that.”

“I’m not trying to. I see what you’re trying to do, Bonnie, so allow me to clarify for the benefit of our mortal friends. I  _ am  _ a full-blooded demon. No human anything dilutes it. But you have to understand, Bon, I’m not Tyrant. I’m not a helpless thrall. I won’t fall in line simply because you ask me to. You have your life aspirations, and I have mine. They can coexist, but they aren’t leverage. Abandoning any of the others, abandoning Whole Marceline, that has serious consequences for us. The threat you’re implying right? It’s a weapon, and one you’re good at holding. But it won’t work on me, because I’m afraid that I have no heart for you to break.”

Jake looked to his brother, ready to formulate a silent plan, but found the boy still fixated on Lady Evil, sword at the ready, stayed only because he was absolutely certain the young scientist was up to something, as she so often was. “Where is your heart?” It took him a moment to realize that it was he who spoke. 

Lady Abadeer didn’t look at him as she answered, her voice distant and just a bit smug. “I cut it out years ago. It bothered me. Dunno where it is now, and I dun care.” 

As cutting as the remark was, it gave Bonnibel an idea. “You’re right. Whether or not I should use your love for me as a weapon it would not work on you to begin with, so it’s a moot point. Your priorities differ from Tyrant, or any of the others really. I know you won’t change your mind because I ask you to. But… what if we make a deal?”

Demonic eyes brightened. “Oh? What are you thinking, Bon?” Behind her Jake waved his paws wildly in a silent plea not to make anymore trades, but the princess was a woman on a mission. 

A stubborn woman on a mission. 

“I want three things from you, Marceline. The first is to know what you are, because even Usurper alluded to that fact being important. The second is for you to cure the Unifier-” 

Lady Abadeer unsuccessfully hid her eyeroll. “BonBon, what makes you think I can even cure Unifier, nevermind that I’m one the one trying to kill her?” 

The princess straightened, one hand coming to rest on her fallen mate’s cheek, the other draped around her waist, as if that would discourage Lady Evil from trying to bypass Finn’s sword. “Let’s assume for the moment I can persuade you to, and that you are capable. Just for the sake of argument.” Lady Abadeer shrugged her agreement. “You reattached her arm before.”

“Yes, because I know how reattaching limbs work.”

“I think you know how healing her heart would work.”

“What makes you think that?” Her head tilted, eyes still pinned.

“When she was injured before, after absorbing Navigator, you said you couldn’t heal her because what she was experiencing was a pain unique to her. An injured heart isn’t unique to her. Further, I know you share the same knowledge, because you’re the same person. I’ve spent centuries making sure you learned as much as you could about anatomy and physiology, and that includes the cardiovascular system of humans. You yourself might not be human, but Whole Marceline is half, so it still applies. You also said that she would be unable to heal such a-”  _ potentially deadly fatal killing  _ “-critical wound unconscious. We’ve watched you mimic her ability to manipulate reality around her, and to an even greater extent than she’s capable of. I suspect you know how to heal her and now you’re being difficult because we’re discussing price.” 

Lady Abadeer seemed to consider this, than chuckled softly. “You don’t have anything I want, Bonnie.” 

It didn’t escape the princess’s notice that the demon hadn’t actually denied anything she had asserted. “I don’t think that’s accurate, but first I would like an answer to one question: hypothetically speaking, could you fulfill your role as Lady Evil if you were once more a whole person?”

Lady Abadeer tapped her chin. “Ah, I see what you’re trying to say. If all I want is to rule the Nightosphere I could do so as part of the whole, not just me, right?” Her lover nodded. “Technically, that’s true. But have you  _ seen  _ the rest of myselves? They suck eggs. I’ve been very, very patient, BonBon. You have, too. You spent centuries trying to convince us - convince  _ me  _ \- that we have a role to play in your schemes. You can guess by how I’m behaving now that we didn’t exactly agree when we were whole. But now I’m me, so I’m taking matters in my own claws.”

“Claw.”

She glanced over her shoulder at Finn, then down to the stump of her right arm. Lady Abadeer drew her breath softly before exhaling forcefully, a new claw taking the place of the severed one. This one wasn’t grey, however. It was a shimmering black that seemed to almost fade in and out of the visible spectrum, giving the illusion of it almost flowing, much like her fire. When Finn gaped she smirked. “Claws.” He continued to gape and she rolled her eyes once more. “Dude, I told you. My lair, my rules. And I like having two claws, thanks.” Her attention returned to Bonnibel, who watched calmly. At least, she appeared to be watching calmly. Inside she was keeping her panic under lock and key. “Where were we?”

“We were discussing my failure in convincing you to accept your birthright.”

“Ah, right. That’s really what it comes down to, Bon. I have a goal, and I’ve been really patient in waiting for us to get our act together and grow up. But we didn’t, so I’m handling it myself. I’m sorry that in the process I have to hurt you. I really am.” She sounded like she really was, but Bubblegum chose not to put too much stock in it. Lady Evil was a fantastic manipulator, after all. 

“I understand where you’re coming from, Marcy. I can’t imagine how frustrating this all must be, and to be honest I never imagined that part of Whole Marceline actually did aspire to be what you are. I have spent the bulk of my effort focused on the rest of you, trying to convince you that you could be a tactician, and a capable and effective ruler. That you may actually enjoy it. That’s why I have a proposition for you.” When this Marceline failed to make a lewd joke of that comment Bonnibel found herself pulling the Unifier tighter. “What if I spent my efforts on  _ you _ specifically instead, without consulting the rest of you?” Lady Abadeer watched quietly, and the young scientist took her lack of interruption to be a good sign. “Throughout our time together you’ve been quite vocal that the strategies you’ve employed have been adapted from my own. It’s flattering really.”

“It should be. I’ve never hidden my opinion that you are the brainiest of brainlords.”

_ Oh good, she’s flirting again.  _ The thought was only a smidge sarcastic, it was mostly relieved that she had the demon’s undivided attention. “That’s true, and you’ve done an admirable job of adapting my strategies to fit this… rather unique situation, especially given that I’ve offered you no formal instruction. You’ve derived everything from your being naturally observant and adaptable.”

“Why thank you, BonBon. You’re a great teacher, even when you don’t intend to be.”

_ Yes!  _ Opening given, Bonnibel willingly fell back in her clinically detached mindset, letting her voice absorb it. She had promised the Unifier, promised everyone really, that she would stop relying on such manipulations and learn to treat her vampire like a person, not a tool, but this situation was different. This Marceline, this demon, saw her as a tool first, and she would only respect another machinator. Emotion, even well-placed ones, wouldn’t do the job. And if she wanted an equal Bonnibel would give her an equal. For good measure she stroked down the Unifier’s cheek as a safety net, as a grounder to remind herself of what she had accomplished and why she was doing this. “But that’s the thing, Marceline. You’ve no formal instruction. You still have much to learn. Much I could teach you. You’ve watched me work, but I’ve purposefully kept you out of the room for more sensitive matters-”  _ because you used to treat everything like a joke and I was afraid you’d embarrass me I just didn’t know bet-  _ “-so imagine what you could accomplish if I actually let you in.”

“Bonnie, are you asking me to be your apprentice?” She sounded amused, entertained by the prospect. It was a perilous question. The younger woman knew she was playing a dangerous game, and that one small slip up could cost her everything. Could cost her her soulmate. But what choice did she have? 

“I’d prefer not to think of you as an apprentice, because that would imply that you are a novice. You aren’t a neophyte, this plot of yours is quite evident of that. But as skilled as you are you lack experience in the greater world. True, you have expertly manipulated us all, but can you reasonably expect your untempered talent to extend to the rest of Ooo? You have files and information I cannot possibly imagine, stuff I would-”  _ and have  _ “-kill for, but you need to know how to wield it as a weapon in any situation, not just one you’ve planned out perfectly.”

“The Nightosphere isn’t part of Ooo, Bonnie, and as I’ve said a lot  _ that’s  _ where I belong.”

_ Glob it.  _ She redirected. “That might technically be true, but the Nightosphere doesn’t exist within a vacuum. Even your father has to be involved in Ooo sometimes.” It was a bluff, but Lady Evil wasn’t calling her on it. Instead she smirked, matching Lady Abadeer’s arrogance with her own. Another bluff. “Besides… it would benefit both of us.”

“Oh? I thought this was about paying me to save,” she gestured to the Unifier, “this thing.” Bonnibel nodded, thankful she had years of practice in shutting down her emotions. The last thing she needed right now was to betray her own coldness.  _ She’s just another dignitary she’s just another dignitary she’s just  _ “Has anyone or any kingdom ever entered an alignment with the Nightosphere?”

“Nope. We’ve never had reason to deal with the surface world.”

“But the surface world is already a piece of you, Marceline. We’re mates. We’re connected, and as Rechte once pointed out that’s forever. Ignoring it won’t make it any less true, so you have two options. You can ignore that connection and hide in the Nightosphere, though I imagine it may call to you then exactly as your birthright does to you now. I know I will. You’re mine just as much as I’m yours, and we’re both pretty possessive.”

Lady Evil looked almost impressed. “Or?”

“Or you enter into a deal with me now and allow me to teach you what I know. It would allow the Candy Kingdom to treaty with the Nightosphere, something no other kingdom has ever managed to accomplish, and because you would take with you my experiences and teachings your rule would be ironclad without your kingdo-.”

“I would make you untouchable by default,” the demon mused.

“And you would have access to the greatest archives you could ever get your claws on. You yourself said information is a weapon. I just want to teach you to brandish it effectively. When you are whole it would be impossible to talk to you individually, obviously… but I think you’d agree that I’m pretty good at manipulating you for your own good.” Finn grimaced.  _ True, but… ouch. _

Lady Evil chortled, but there was no malice in it. Arrogance and self-satisfaction, but no malice. “And here I was, thinking spending so much time with the others had made you soft and squishy.”

“I can possess emotional attachment without letting it negatively influence my capacity to be an effective ruler.” To emphasize her point she wrapped her draped arm tighter around the Unifier while keeping her expression dispassionate. 

Lady Abadeer scratched her chin thoughtfully. “Mm. So you want me to repair the Unifier - assuming I even can, of course - and in exchange you’ll give me all of your secrets and train me in using them.” There was a threat there, but it was the only ammo the princess had. 

“Yes, Marceline.”

“And you want to know what I am as well? That’s still a thing you’re not budging on?”

“Yes. And to make myself clear, Marceline, I want you to come back to Ooo as part of the whole.”

“I’m pretty sure I can’t do that-” The princess held her hand up to silence her. It had the desired effect: Lady Abadeer was intrigued, clearly having not expected the younger royal to still possess the nerve to try to direct the conversation. Evidently her almost killing the Unifier had had a different impact than anticipated; rather than break down it had just hardened her. 

“Just hear me out, Marceline. You’re more dangerous whole than you are individually, even you. Any one of you runs the risk of being too consistent and easily predictable. Combined you are mercurial and almost impossible to predict, even for me.”

“I hate to disagree with you, BonBon, but  _ I’m  _ the most dangerous of us, as made evident by the fact that I’m the last woman standing.” 

Bonnibel smirked, another bluff. “I’m not sure, Marcy. I think if it was a fair fight the Unifier could beat you. She has everyone else within her after all, but you’re standing alone.” 

Her opponent snickered. “Come on, Bon, you’re gonna have to do better than that. I’m not going to go nuts and try to revive her, even if I could, just to prove to you I’m the toughest when all I need to do to accomplish my goal is literally nothing. Like I said, I’m not the Usurper.”

Bubblegum nodded, as if this were all part of some clever plan. A plan that didn’t exactly exist. Yet. “I’m aware. You aren’t ruled by your emotions. I’m not expecting you to be.” And just like that, it existed. “But if you’re willing to fight her I have one last thing you may be interested in.”

“I’m not sure if you have anything else I want, Bon. You’re offering me your secrets, you already gave me your heart centuries ago… what else could you have?”

“A bet.”

Her eyes brightened, her lop-sided grin full of antipathy. “Oh, now  _ that’s  _ interesting. It’s been a mondo long time since someone’s tried that with me. What’s the bet, Bon?”

“I think the Unifier could beat you in a fight. If she does you take the payment we owe you and then give us your piece of the soul.”

“And what do I get if I win?”

“My kingdom.” Her heart pounded in her throat at the use of her trump card. If there was anything in the world Lady Abadeer would be unable to resist it would be a weird and ironic punishment. Behind her Bonnibel watched Finn and Jake’s mouths drop. They had been staring in silent disbelief and horror before, but now they were beyond that. She noticed and sent them a silent mental apology.  _ Sorry, boys. I know you’re my kingdom’s champions, but this is all I have left.  _

“Your kingdom?” The demon’s garnet eyes were bright with child-like delight, her voice calm, almost giddy. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear this one.”

The young scientist hesitated, knowing this offer would need to be phrased perfectly in order to prevent any loopholes. Whole Marceline may be good at finding loopholes, but Lady Evil was a master. “When we first started this journey, before the amulet shattered your mind, I wanted you to learn to control it. In order to be coronated as queen I would need to marry royalty, and being the last of your kind, even if you did hold the title of ‘queen’, wouldn’t count. I had two options: I could mold you into what I needed you to be, or I could find someone else that fit the criteria. It would be unfathomable for me to choose someone other than you because  _ you  _ are my mate, and as much as I desire power it was and is out of the question for me to accept anyone else. We’ve been together for hundreds of years, and I had no intention of changing that. But the rules that govern me don’t hold true for you. You are already the named heir to the Nightosphere, and you don’t need me in order to make that happen. If you won this challenge… if you so chose you could cement your own power while forever denying me mine. I would spend the rest of my kingdom’s existence needing to contest challenges to my throne, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to make anything permanent without your… permission.” She spat the word, unable to stop herself.

“Like the King of Ooo,” she offered teasingly. 

Bubblegum didn’t bother to hide the disgust in her response. “Yeah. Like him.” 

Behind Lady Abadeer Jake was now flailing in a silent plea for her to stop making deals and bets with the madwoman. She ignored him, as did the Baddie, who tapped her chin with a grey talon. “How interesting. You’re betting your gilded kingdom against my soul because you think this,” she pointed a talon downwards, “is better than me.”

“I’m offering you a deal and a bet. As for the deal, you will inform us, including the Unifier, what you are. You will revive her and allow her to heal to her satisfaction. In exchange, once we return to Ooo - whoever returns, stop smirking like that - I will teach you all of my strategic secrets and train you in wielding them against enemy dignitaries, kingdoms, and threats. This will allow you to enter a treaty with the Candy Kingdom, granting you access to our resources, my tactical information, and my library. Further, as per the nature of our treaty, you will act a deterrent to potential unlawful invaders, and you will not be expected to interfere in lawful kingdom activities.”

“Including if you’re dethroned legally.”

“...Yes.”

“Fair enough. And as for the bet?”

“The Unifier will be allowed to challenge you to fight. If she is able to beat you then you will willingly give us your piece of the soulshard and allow her to absorb it so we can bring you home. If you win I agree to let the course of my political power fit solely in the palm of your claw.”

“You’d let yourself be at my mercy, fully aware that I don’t have the same inclination as Tyrant to submit myself to you, and that I find all of this pretty funny given the irony of the situation? After all, you’d be mine in the exact same way you wanted me to be yours.”

Her jaw clenched. “Yes, Marceline, I’m well aware.”

As she seemed to give genuine consideration an annoying, human voice called from over her shoulder. “Don’t do it, Preebs! She’s nuts! We can take her, three one one!” 

Lady Evil sighed softly, turning to face him. The sword’s tip was pointed squarely at her heart, almost touching her lavender shirt, but she gave no indication that this was a cause for alarm. She only looked at the boy with pity. “Finn, my guy, I need you to understand something here. We’re friends, but I’m not letting you undo the plan I’ve so tirelessly weaved together for the decades we’ve been down here. I know how Bonnibel’s VR system works. I know that while this world is dangerous to us, it isn’t to you three. I’m not the Tyrant, but I’m not the Usurper either. I don’t want to kill you, but if you get in the way I will.”

Finn stared, motionless. He hadn’t expected anything less, not really anyway, but the declaration was no less jarring. She was a being of pure evil, but she still looked like his best ladybro, and she was just so calm about the threat, almost serene. Jake recovered first, but even that was just enough to speak. “Come on, Abadeer. We don’t know what happens if we bite it in here. What if it  _ does  _ hurt us? You willing to take that chance?”

“Yes.” No hesitation, no room for compromise.

He gaped. “You’d go through us?”

“Yes.”

Behind her Bonnibel narrowed her eyes. “...I’m adding an addendum.” Lady Evil returned to her. “Because you’re Deathless due to your amulet the Unifier doesn’t need to kill you. It’s only required that she injures you so completely that you’re literally incapable of continuing.”

“So as close to dead as I can get.”

“Right.”

Lady Abadeer considered this before nodding. “Fair enough. Then I have two addenda of my own. First,” a talon, “I still want my payment. It can be after I destroy her if you’d like, but I want my sword and my crown. Second,” another talon as she looked over her shoulder at the brothers, “no using the sword against me in the event this battle doesn’t go the way you want. If I kill her fair and square you can’t just stab me or whatevs because you don’t like it. No swording me while we’re fighting either. Stay out of it. Kay?” Both brothers looked beyond her to the princess, waiting for her signal. She caught their pleading expressions out of her peripheral, but they weren’t of concern. Not at the moment. She dropped her gaze back down the Unifier, caressing her cheek and neck, tracing her fingertips over her scars. 

“...One more addendum. The battle doesn’t start until she feels she’s ready to. You can’t revive her and then just kill her right then. You have to give her a chance.” 

Her voice left no room for argument, but to her credit the demon hadn’t planned on one. She bobbed her head, glancing over her shoulder. “Done. Finn, we need your notebook. I don’t think BonBon wants to wait for me to go back to my office. She seems a bit occupied.” 

When he hesitated Bonnibel offered him a weak smile they may have been a wince in disguise. “It’s alright, Finn. She’s right.”  _ I just want my Marcy back. Please let her be able to wake you up. _

When Finn turned to his brother haplessly Jake shrugged, just as much at a loss as he was. With the decision out of his hands he exhaled forcefully, flipping his bag around to open it, passing the dog his sword for safekeeping. As he dug out the notebook and pen Jake kept the sword trained on Lady Abadeer. She had given no indication such an action was necessary, but he wasn’t taking any chances. Finn wordlessly handed the instruments to his princess, glaring at the Baddie then entire time. Once again, she gave no reaction, watching quietly as her mate drafted a new contract, occasionally glancing above the notebook at her before mumbling something and returning to her task. It wasn’t that she distrusted Jake; the contractual loophole wasn’t his fault, and she didn’t blame him for it. But she had managed to re-enter her mindset of emotional detachment while being capable of recognizing who and what this was really for, and she was going to use it to her advantage for as long as possible. Once done she stared at the four-page long contract intently, scanning for any possible loopholes or missing pieces before signing her name. Even then she didn’t look away; doing so took every ounce of focus she had. “Alright. Your turn.” Oddly mindful of the maimed vampire in the candy golem’s lap, Lady Abadeer took the notebook, reading every detail before adding her own name. “Excellent.” With a sharp whistle she held it to her side, watching Finn retrieve it from the corner of her eye.

Once the contract was safely stored in his bag the demon turned her attention to her broken counterpart. With a deep sigh that may have been laced with irritation she kneeled next to her. When her black claw outstretched Bonnibel instinctively pulled the Unifier closer. To her surprise, Lady Evil smiled gently, the ill-humor present with Finn and Jake gone with her.  _ You act so differently around me. I suppose that makes sense, though, given what you are. How strong is your demonic nature, Marceline?  _ “Bonnie, we have a contract. I’m contractually obligated to heal her and then allow her to recover. And in case you’ve forgotten, I don’t like her. I don’t want her near me longer than she has to be.”

The princess didn’t let go. “And what exactly do you plan to do?” Her voice was firm, almost accusing.

“I’ll heal her as best I can. I should be able to at least allow her to regain consciousness, but from that point she’s on her own. If she can’t heal herself from then I won’t be able to assist her. With that said, you  _ did  _ shove anatomy books down our throat for hundreds of years, and so I imagine she’ll heal herself when she begins to wake up and realizes she’s in immense pain.”

“...You can heal her.”

She lifted her claws in defense, her smile sweet and innocent. “Look, Bon, you know that power she has to manipulate the world around her? That comes from me. I gave it to her when she was first made. Well… gave. Traded. Same deal. But I can’t just make a copy of it. It’s more like I gave her a part of it. Point being… I don’t have it all without taking it all back from her.” She smirked. “Of course… if you let me take it back from her I’m sure I could heal her entirely.” Piercing green eyes were glaring now, enough to make the demon recoil, even if she did wear a smug smirk when she did so. “Alright, alright, I get the message. Though it’s not like I could take it back even if you said I could. We traded, fair and square.” The candy golem was unamused. “She should be fine. I mean… probably. If she wants to be.”

_ She traded for it?  _ “...If she wants to be.”

Lady Abadeer frowned. “Bonnibel, you’re not a parrot.” That earned her another glare, which turned her frown into a grin. “Ah, there we are. I said it before, Bon, but you’re absolutely beautiful when you’re angry. I mean that honestly. Anger suits you.” Without further explanation she returned to the Unifier, her expression souring, her voice flat and cold. “Without you all of my aspirations can come to fruition. This pains me greatly. Not as much as it’ll pain you. I take comfort in that.” Her nose wrinkled as she watched the body before her, stuck halfway between Unlife and True Death, unable to heal, unable to die. Bonnibel was almost cradling her, only stopping just short due to the circular wound, large enough to peer into. Her dark blood had soaked both her shirt and the candy royal’s borrowed jacket; Lady Evil suspected that the fluid had probably stained under her jacket, reaching the princess’s clothing proper. With a new frown, spurred by a different emotion, she reached up, touching her mate’s clothing with a grey talon and purging it of the blood. Bonnibel gave her a strange look. “I don’t like the idea of the Unifier’s filthy blood staining you, and it’s not like you have a change of clothing. Can’t very well allow Finn or Jake to get involved and ‘help’ you clean yourself either. You’re for my eyes only, after all.”

Bonnibel watched her return to her assigned task.  _ Ah, and there’s the demonic, primitive mindset. Like a feral animal in a suit.  _ It didn’t escape her that she had granted the Unifier no such luxury as clean clothing. When a garnet eye inched close enough to peer in the whole the young scientist tensed, but said nothing. Nothing, until Lady Evil abruptly slashed her grey claw with her black one, deep enough to draw bright blood, which was dripped in the wound. When she spoke she didn’t bother to look at the younger woman, having accurately predicted her suspicious expression. “I’m not getting close enough to touch her guts, Bonnie. Gross. So, I’m giving her some fresh, warm blood. You know, remind her heart that it’s exposed and putting itself in danger. Can’t use just any ol’ blood, you know? Who knows what kind of messed up reaction someone else’s could cause!” She chuckled at her own sarcasm. “Should be enough to at least get something moving.” Not that she bothered to wait around. With one last look of revulsion the Baddie offered the candy elemental a wink and turned her head to keep an eye on Finn and Jake, leaving Bonnibel alone with her vampire. Only then did she drop her cold-hearted disguise, slipping back into the affectionate persona that she had come to wear around her soulmate.  _ You’ll be okay, Marcy. You’re so strong.  _ She stroked the underside of her wrist, tears stinging her eyes. She had expected to feel relieved by Lady Abadeer’s reluctant assistance, but it only further reminded the younger woman that if her plan did indeed fail there was no back-up. No back-up, and she still wasn’t moving.  _ Come back to me, my queen. What would I do without you? We’ve been together for hundreds of years. We’ll be together for hundreds mor- _

Through it all the Baddie had watched calmly, either indifferent to the young scientist’s desperation or just plain not calling attention to it, because all three could see the moment she realized that if the warm, fresh blood had failed they would have been out of options: Marceline as they had known her would be gone, and they would have failed in their mission to rescue her. While that acrid truth had spurned Bonnibel to desperation it had triggered Finn’s anger once more; he had accused Lady Abadeer of purposefully giving his princess false hope, but couldn’t explain why she would do such a thing. To make matters worse the demon had only watched his outrage, not bothering to defend herself beyond asking questions Jake knew were obvious, but Finn was too angry to understand. It had put the dog in the awkward position of trying to calm his brother down without appearing to take Lady Evil’s side. Which he completely wasn’t. It just… really looked like he was. “Bro, you gotta chill. There’s no reason for her to do that to Bubblegum. She likes her, remember?”

“She’s trying to prove a point, Jake!”

“What point, though?”

“...Something! Some point or whatever! She’s messed up!”

“Yeah, I know she’s messed up, but you gotta calm down! This isn’t helping!”

When Finn reached for his sword Jake held it away from him. Still trained on Lady Evil, but out of his brother’s grasp. “JAKE! Give me the sword before she does something!”

“No, you’re agitated! I’ll give it to you if this doesn’t work, okay?” He kept his voice lower, trying to ignore the demon’s smirk, the betrayal of how entertaining she found this exchange.  _ You’re not helping.  _ Behind him he heard Bonnibel whispering softly to the vampire, and he hoped that was good news, but there was no way to check without drawing Finn’s attention to the fact that it may not be. His brother was normally calm and insightful, but it hadn’t escaped Jake’s notice that he and the Unifier had grown particularly close over the course of their adventure, and while he doubted his pain was comparable to his monarch’s he knew that his animosity wasn’t just because the demon had turned on them the moment she was legally allowed to. If Marceline didn’t come back Jake knew Bonnibel would never be the same, and he was beginning to suspect that Finn wouldn’t be either.

To his immense relief Finn took a deep breath, relaxing his posture. “You’re… you’re right, Jake. It’s not helping. We need to be strong for PB and Marce. They… they need us.” Jake grinned, pride shining. His brother may react strongly sometimes, but Jake knew it came from having a heart of gold. Finn just needed reminding sometimes. 

“Are you two finished?” 

Finn narrowed his eyes, turning to Lady Evil. At some point in his argument with his brother the woman had tilted her head, observing the gallant champions curiously. Before the human could reply she hooked her thumb behind her, where the scientist was no longer sobbing. Instead there was a strange sound.

“What’s that noise?”

“She’s… breathing.”

“Does… does she normally do that? I mean, she’s-”

Bonnibel Bubblegum ignored Finn’s ramblings as she pulled her vampire - her very much undead vampire who wasn’t a pile of ash - closer, unable to stop smiling. “Yes. Sometimes. As a comfort behavior.” There was more to it than that simple answer, but either it would have to wait or it was too personal to be shared, as made evident by Jake’s paw on Finn’s shoulder, a silent piece of advice to just let the princess have this. To just let her hold her lover and best friend close. The candy elemental, a woman normally so reserved, was smiling widely, cheek rested on her forehead, fingers almost claws in her subconscious refusal to let go of her queen - not that anyone was asking her to. But Jake had seen this before, seen that trembling, and knew that the young scientist’s mental reserves had been exhausted. The Unifier’s wound had not fully sealed, but it was closed enough to prevent further damage to the vampire’s chest. It was impossible to say how recovered her heart was, but no one needed to voice that concern.

Finn grinned. Yes, his friend was still unconscious, but she shifted occasionally now, and was breathing softly. It was strange hearing that noise; with the exception of when she had been temporarily de-vamped he had never once heard Marceline breathe unless it was for talking, singing, or steadying her nerves, so there had to be a reason, but he didn’t care. She was alive. Or as alive as she got, being an animated corpse. He knew that he should let the princess have a quiet moment with the Unifier, alone and undisturbed, but he couldn’t resist kneeling next to her. He needed to see her for himself. 

“Hey Marce… it’s Finn. Welcome back. I mean, I know you probably can’t hear me right now ‘cause you’re asleep or… something. But yeah. Thanks for coming back. You scared-”  _ me because everyone keeps leaving and I promised not to fail  _ “-us, man.” She didn’t reply, but he thought he saw her shift closer to Bonnibel. He hoped. It was enough to garner a smile, both from him and his royal.

Jake watched carefully, keeping one eye on his friends and the other on the attempted murderess. Literally. “What now, Abadeer?” 

Lady Evil shrugged, stretching as she tapped her grounded axe. It vanished. “As per the terms of my agreement with BonBon I can’t lift a talon to kill the Unifier until she’s recovered and feels she is ready to begin. Whenevs that is.” Her grey claw touched her suit, which began to sew itself together again in a most unsettling manner, causing Jake to shudder. As it mended even the blood stains faded. “Now, I’m a busy woman, and I don’t really have time to wait around. So, if you’ll excuse me. I’ll be going back to my office-” The sword inched closer, stopping just short of her heart. She stopped talking but rolled her eyes, clearly unintimidated. “You have a problem with my plan, Jake?”

“Yeah, I don’t think any of us want you going anywhere. You’re stayin’ right here where we can keep an eye on you.”

“What does that accomplish?”

“It’ll make us feel better.”

She snorted. “So the placebo will make you feel better? Very convinc-”

“Hey, Abadeer!” She turned to Finn, who addressed her from over his shoulder. “How do we help her heal faster?” 

She arched an eyebrow. “...She’s a vampire. Blood cures everything, guy. Makes ‘em stronger. Why do you think they drink it? It’s not just for the flavor.” 

His eyes widened. “Are you seriously telling us that we need to give her blood?!” 

Ignoring the blood sword pointed at her neck the demon returned to the group proper, glancing only briefly at the unconscious vampire before grinning at Finn, who was too shocked to be intimidated by a mouth full of needle-sharp fangs. “No, I’m jokingly telling you that you need to give her blood.” 

Finn squinted at her, then returned to the Unifier, shoulders sagging.  _ I mean… if that’s what it’ll take.  _ He gulped, then took a deep breath. “...Alright.” With another gulp he leaned closer, bringing his neck closer to the fangs he suddenly realized were very sharp and very long.  _ So… how do I even do this? Does she just… bite anywhere? Does it… need to be at a special spot? Does it hurt? I bet it hurts. Oh man. What if she Turns me? Is that a thing vampires choose to do? Can they just bite without doing that? Can she even do that when she’s out cold?  _ He closed his eyes.  _ Do it for Marce do it for Marce do it for M- _

“Chomp!”

The pinch made him yelp in a most undignified manner, his eyes shooting open involuntarily, allowing him a perfect view of his still unconscious friend who was in no way biting him. He shot his assailant a sharp glare, but it did nothing to deter Lady Evil’s laughter as her claw fell away from his neck. He rubbed the pin pricks left by her claws. “Dude! Not cool!” 

That just made her laugh more. “Disagree. It was hilarious.”

“What is wrong with you?!”

She smiled a most charming smile, shrugging. “Still me, dude. A more evolved me, but still me.” Before he had a chance to retaliate she laughed again, standing and making her way back to her Citadel. “Now, if you’ll excuse-” A long, furry arm stretched in front of her and her humor fell with a groan. “Jake, I’m bored and going back to my office.”

“Uh uh. No way. Not after what you just did. You’re a sneak.”

“I’m a demon. It’s what we do. We mess with people. It’s genetic, man.”

Bonnibel watched the exchange, eye twitching. It was too much to deal with at the moment, and she counted her blessings when the other woman laughed, wandering in search of someone new to torment. Lady Evil was too much to deal with at the moment. But Finn’s willingness to sacrifice himself for the singer gave her both an idea, and immense gratitude. The latter would have to wait, however.  _ She may have only meant it to mess with Finn, but Lady Evil may have been on to something. Marceline’s a vampire. Logically, blood should help accelerate her recovery. But… if anyone is going to…  _ Her eyes travelled to her free wrist, still rested on her cool cheek.  _ It’s not like you’ve never bitten me before, Marcy. Granted, it was never with the intention of draining anything from me except my color.  _ Her fingers traced to her ear, which twitched slightly in a way that elicited a soft smile.  _ You’re still here. That’s all that matters. But… you’re not recovering like you should be, and the longer we’re in your mind the more damaged you become, and the harder it will be for you to heal once we bring you home.  _ Her eyes trailed to her own wrist, and the sugary blood beneath it.  _ I know you vowed to never drink blood after I asked you to stop, and I know you vowed never to hurt me… but this is different. I’m consenting, and I need you to come home. Besides… none of this is real. You’re not really drinking from me.  _ Even she didn’t believe that logic, but hoped Whole Marceline would. Her mind made up, she looked to her dagger, thrown carelessly to the side the moment the Unifier collapsed. The moment she needed her. Finn caught on immediately, eyes widening.

“PB, you can’t-”

“It’s the best shot we have.”

“But-”

“Lady Evil herself acknowledged that the Unifier is a vampire-”

“She was just messing with us!”

“-and blood would help speed her recovery. The faster she recovers the faster Marcy can end this and the faster we can go home.”

Their eyes locked, followed by a very pregnant pause. Finn broke it, his voice strained with melancholy as he pleaded for her to reconsider. “She would never forgive you, Peebs. She wiped out like a billion vamps because of junk like this. She’s already mad mad about the dagger… she’d never forgive you.”

“I’ll add it to the pile,” she replied dryly.

He looked over his shoulder; Jake had once again prevented the Baddie from returning to her lair, leaving the champion alone with his ladybros as they engaged in some heated argument. He turned back to the younger of the two. In the brief moment his mind had wandered she had pressed the dagger against her wrist, it itself held over the vampire. He opened his mouth to argue, to say something, anything, but failed. What could he say, what could he do? “Finn, hold her mouth.” The boy took a deep breath, wringing his hands before taking his place next to his vampiric friend wordlessly. He tilted her mouth open, and the candy golem gave him a soft smile that failed to reach her eyes. With one swift slice born from centuries of practice experimenting on other living creatures she allowed the sweet, warm blood to drain down her mate’s throat. Finn did his best to watch, but the sight was too wrong, too real, and he looked away to the desert wasteland his enemy called home, stomach soured.  _ Sorry, Marce. Please don’t be too mad mad about this. _

There was no dramatic jerking, and she didn’t suddenly sit up straight, eyes slitted and fangs bared. But she did groan softly, the arm she wasn’t lying on wrapping loosely around her stomach. It hadn’t been something Bonnibel had anticipated, but she supposed it made sense.  _ She’s not used to drinking blood anymore. What if it hurts her because she’s unaccustomed to its composition?  _ It would be another thing for the list when she got home and found a way to win Marceline’s forgiveness.  _ I’ll need to learn even more about her physiology. I’ll need to learn even more… about a lot of things.  _ Marceline whimpered slightly, breath catching as she instinctively curled into the source of warmth she was lying against. Bubblegum trailed her hand down to lace their fingers, returning her attention to the wound in her back.

“It’s healing!”

The vampire winced at the sudden noise, and Finn mouthed a silent, ‘sorry Marce’. Not that her eyes had opened yet, but it made him feel better at least. But he was right, the visible entry wound was beginning to mend again, and her reaction to his exclamation had to mean she was regaining consciousness. “Marce? Can you hear us?” Two bleary garnet eyes opened, then closed once more. “Come on, Marce. You gotta show us somethin’ so we know you’re with us and not a zombie or something.” One bleary garnet eye, squinted, glared. Then she hissed softly and closed it once more. Finn frowned, then nodded. “Okay, I guess that counts. Welcome back, Marce.” Another hiss, this one softer, with no real threat in it. “Okay, I’ll let you chill with Peebs. I’m gonna go… check on things.” There was no sense reminding her of their location or her vulnerable position, or that Lady Evil was watching her like the predator she was. With an uncertain smile he slowly stood, backing away slowly so as to not startle the Unifier.

The moment she sensed him gone the queen mumbled something, but it was too soft to hear it. “What was that, Marcy?”

“I taste something, Bon.” 

Her eyes were pinned now, fangs extended, both an automatic reflex. There was no sense denying what it was; Marceline may never have consumed Bonnibel’s blood before, but there was no way she would mistake the taste, even if it was masked by sugar.  _ Come on, Bubblegum. You promised to stop lying to her. Don’t wuss out.  _ “...I fed you my blood, Marcy,” she answered gently. Marceline clenched her fist, silent as the realization settled over her, but didn’t pull away. The candy elemental hoped that was by choice. 

“...Why, Bon.” 

She had expected, even hoped for anger to be her response, and the dejected tone in her voice was enough to break Bonnibel’s heart. “I’m sorry, Marcy. You weren’t waking up, and your heart was severely injured. I couldn’t risk…” Even now it was too real, too painful to say. “You can’t heal from potentially fatal wounds if you’re unconscious. I needed to help wake you up, and vampires consume blood for a reason. It’s nourishing. You can fill yourself on red, but you can’t receive any of the other benefits.” It was a ramble, a jumbled justification, but it was nevertheless true.

Garnet eyes, still pinned, darkened. She still sounded so tired, but the young scientist supposed that that was to be expected. “...But I promised, Bon..” The hand not securely laced clenched, nails digging into her palms. Bonnibel knew it was reflexive, a way to focus her mind, but she had rules against absent-minded self-mutilation for a reason, and it had everything to do with Marceline not always caring about her own strength, too reliant on her ability to heal, too oblivious to the fact that her paramour hated seeing her in pain. 

The princess gently slid her free hand off her cheek, into her clenched palm, gently easing it apart. “I know you did, Marcy. I’m sorry I had to, but I didn’t have a choice. You didn’t bite me and you didn’t hurt me. My wrist is just going to be sore for a little while.”

“You know what happens when vampires taste blood.”

She did know. It was why Marceline had enacted genocide in the first place, and that loss of control was always one of the older woman’s greatest fears. Perhaps unaware of it, her eyes flickered to Finn momentarily. It would be a gamble; there would always be the risk now that the musician would begin craving blood again and start seeking it out, but that was a problem for the future. They had enough to deal with in the present. “Marcy, listen to me.” The Unifier looked away, but Bonnibel was too tired to allow an argument, sliding her hand free to gently tilt her chin up. She knew exactly where this train of thought was going, and it was up to her to derail it. “You’re not a monster, and you never have been. I know you’re scared about what this could mean. I know you’re angry right now. At yourself, at me, at everything. You have every right to be-”

Her eyes narrowed, and Bonnibel instinctively straightened. “I spent hundreds of years, Bon-”

“I know. I know you did. If I hadn’t thought it absolutely necessary I wouldn’t have forced you to break your promise.”

The Unifier had no response to that, and it took Bonnibel a moment to realize it was because she had begun to bite her cheek. Now the hand travelled back up where it began, resting on the outside. The Unifier reluctantly unclenched her jaw, but in the process she turned away once more. The princess let her, but didn’t move her hand. If her vampire wasn’t going to force her away she had no plans to voluntarily move. Maybe it was just shock, or dejection, but she would take what she could get. “You’ve… been unconscious for a few hours now.”

“What happened?” Her voice was quiet and filled with pain. Bonnibel pulled her closer, unaware of her own actions, and the Unifier tensed. Tensed and did nothing. 

“After you absorbed the Usurper Lady Abadeer staked you in the back. We couldn’t rouse you, and any small movement could have pushed you over the edge. I… ended up making a deal with her for your life.”

“...What did you trade.” It was a soft growl. She was awake now, staring at the Baddie, who in turn was wriggling her claws teasingly at the two, Jake still glaring at her. The shorter woman sighed softly to herself.  _ I promised that I would stop lying to you. Here’s my chance to prove it. Please… don’t lose control, Marcy. Just stay calm.  _

“We made both a deal and a bet. For our deal the matter was if she agreed to heal you. Then, once we return to Ooo, I would agree to help teach her how to…”  _ How do I explain this without her losing it?  _ “I would agree to help teach her how to use my array of skills to better her own.” The Unifier stared and Bonnibel realized she wasn’t getting off the hook that easily.  _ Glob it again.  _ “Lady Evil is adept at manipulation, misdirection, and information reconnaissance, that much is clear. But she’s inexperienced, whereas I am not. So… I plan to teach her.”

“Like your apprentice or something?” 

_ Well, guess I’m not getting around this one.  _ “Yeah, sort of. If when we get home you end up wanting me to teach you I’ll teach you.” It was a little white lie, something Bonnibel considered forgivable under the circumstances. In truth she would have no choice but to train Marceline regardless of whether or not she remembered, but the Unifier didn’t need to know that. At least, for now.

Another growl, a louder one escaped her. “That’s how we got in this-”

“I know, Marcy. But… this is different. I’m not trying to force you this time, and if you don’t remember I certainly won’t remind you.”  _ Liar. _ “I’ll only encourage you if it’s what  _ Whole Marceline  _ wants. If she doesn’t want it then-”

“You’re gonna respect that.” She sounded disbelieving, but given the circumstances Bonnibel wasn’t sure that was an entirely inappropriate response. 

“Yes.”  _ Hypocrite _ . 

The Unifier’s free hand shifted briefly into a grey claw before being repressed back into a hand. “You said you made a bet.” 

Bubblegum glanced briefly towards the Baddie, who was watching her intently. The princess only hoped that Marceline’s sensitive hearing was a vampiric trait, not a demonic one. “You two are going to fight.”

“Well, at least I’ll get to kick her butt.”

A small smile.  _ She took that surprisingly well. _ “Yes. Once you feel ready you can take her down. You don’t need to kill her, since she’s Deathless, you just need to make sure she can’t move or fight. When you win she’s agreed to give us her soulshard, and we can take you home.”

“And if I don’t win? What does she get?”

Bonnibel had really,  _ really _ hoped the Unifier wouldn’t think to ask that question, but knew she would never be so lucky. Marceline could be insightful at the absolute worst of times. Unable to meet either her gaze or Lady Evil’s the young scientist turned away, speaking quietly, as if that could soften the blow. “My kingdom.” 

Slitted eyes dilated and the Unifier shot up, almost collapsing from the abrupt sudden movement. She caught herself, but barely noticed. “You’re giving her your kingdom?! Bonnibel!”

The princess gave her queen a sad, affectionate smile. The moral outrage had been immediately replaced with something suspiciously akin to concern, and despite the circumstances, or perhaps because of them, it warmed her typically cold heart.  _ She… still cares?  _ “Well, not literally I suppose. If you lose then the extent of my political power will be at her disposal.”

“...I don’t get it. What’s that mean? She could… tell you what to do? Legally?”

“Essentially, yes. The Candy Kingdom’s resources would be at her full call, and she would have sole discretion as to how far my power could extend.”

The vampire was dumbstruck. “Bon, the opposite of that is how-” She didn’t finish. Even to her it didn’t seem appropriate. “...Guess she really does like weird and ironic punishments, ‘cause this is the weirdest and the most ironic.” She sighed, “You wanted me to be Lady Evil so you could do legal stuff and level up your throne… and now Lady Evil could stop you from having one.”

“Pretty much.” She was quiet now, the full weight settling on her shoulders.

“Bon…” That was as far as she got. The Unifier didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t know what an appropriate reaction should be, especially given their strained relationship. Well, she knew one thing to say, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. “...Why?”

_ At least this time I can be honest.  _ “Because I took you for granted. Because I put my kingdom and my needs before you for centuries. Because this doesn’t rob me of my ability to protect my citizens, it just punishes me for my betrayal. Because I was using you, and you deserve so much better. If I could I would have just offered her my kingdom itself in exchange for her soulshard-”

“...But there’s no way she’d do that because she obsessed with power, and if she’s in me it’s not exactly something she can have.” She hesitated. “If she would be willing to… would you?” 

Bonnibel nodded, smiling slightly as she laced their fingers once more. The Unifier’s hand twitched, but allowed the contact. “I know you can beat her, Marcy. You have your powers-”

“Yeah, but she’s got way more experience than me. It’s like I’m level one and she’s level a million.”

“This isn’t a video game, Marceline-”

“I don’t even know where to begin, Bonnibel! With the others, even the lunatic, we knew what they were so I at least had  _ some  _ idea of what I was up against! We don’t even know what she is!”

“...Then let’s go find out.” It took several moments for her to stand, her legs having fallen asleep at some point and begun cramping at another, but it didn’t deter her. The Unifier frowned, following her example slowly, the change in height a tad disorienting. It didn’t deter her either, and she followed her estranged-lover back to the demon, who was watching then with a cocky smirk. 

“Aw, look who’s awake and ready to make everyone’s lives all the more annoying. Did you have a nice nap?,” she cooed. 

The Unifier snarled, but her retort, whatever it was meant to be, died when Bonnibel lifted her hand to still her as the princess fell back into her odd amalgamation of dark, pointy emotions twisting around that squishy spot reserved for her mate. It was getting easier to slip into at will, easier to keep her naturally domineering mindset before an equally domineering person. “She’s fine, Marceline, thank you for your concern.”

“Gotta say, Bon, sarcasm is pretty attractive on you, too. Is she ready?” 

Her eyes widened in glee, but when the young scientist shook her head she huffed, then pouted. “Not yet. While she recovers, however, I request that you fulfil the second part of our deal and you tell us what you are.”

“Eh.”

“...What?”

Lady Evil laughed quietly, a cruel and heartless sound. “Sorry, BonBon. I promised I would tell you what part of our psyche I represent, but I never said when.” 

The Unifier’s eyes slitted, but before she could even consider attacking Bonnibel lifted her hand once more. “Don’t, Marcy. If you attack her now she’ll consider your battle as having begun and you still haven’t fully recovered.” 

When Lady Evil’s disappointment became a pout once more visible the princess knew she was right. “Lame, Bonnie. If she wants to start who are you to stop her?”

Bubblegum’s expression hardened. “She’s mine, Marceline. I won’t let you manipulate her.”

“No? I don’t think I’m manipulating her. I’m just a bit surprised.” 

At some point Finn had retrieved his sword from Jake, and was once more pointing it at Lady Evil. The demon didn’t notice. She turned to the Unifier, her voice mocking. “You’ve gone through so much effort, dragged our friends through so much trouble… and yet you’re still relying on them? How is it that after all this time you still can’t answer the basic question of what I am? Arbitrator, Usurper, Navigator, Linke, Rechte, Tyrant… you have the rest of our psyche stored safely within you, but you still can’t tell what’s missing? How pathetic. I know we’re not that bright when whole, but I would assume that by now you’d be able to answer something  _ that  _ easy.” She shook her head morosely, but the sadistic delight was unmistakable. “Honestly, I don’t feel as though you deserve that information. You’re a parasite.”

The Unifier wasn’t stupid. She knew that she was being baited, it wasn’t the first time Lady Abadeer had done so, nor would it be the last. But the Usurper’s presence within her soul was too great and too loud to ignore. It filled her with fury, spurred her to act. It didn’t matter what logic said, that Bonnibel was right or that she still hadn’t fully recovered. Even the implied assertion that she wouldn’t stand a chance in her current condition didn’t matter. “Knock it off,” she snarled. 

The Baddie smiled innocently, her voice becoming sweet. “Oh? Did I strike a nerve? And what exactly do you plan to do about it?”

“I’m going to kill you.” Not breaking eye contact, she moved her hand to her shirt, purging it of the blood.

“Cute. But let me remind you, in all fairness, that you literally can’t, and once we begin our friends aren’t allowed to help you. No interfering, no saving you. You’ll be on your own, and I’ll be free to remind you of how weak you really are-” 

The Unifier lunged, but Bonnibel was prepared. Her brief time with the Tyrant had reminded her of how reckless Marceline could be when provoked, especially when it came to defending those she cared about. Her uninjured hand wrapped around the Unifier’s arm, pulling her back. “Stop.” It was her firmest voice, the one reserved for when her lover was misbehaving. It no longer brought her joy to use, but at that moment it was a necessary evil. Unlike the unnecessary evil in an immaculate suit vexing her. When her vampire halted her intended assault she smiled, resisting the urge to praise her as a good girl. It didn’t seem to be in good taste. “Thank you.” The Unifier glared at her, stiff from the abrupt request, but Bubblegum managed to evade it by stepping behind her, rolling her shirt up carefully.

“What the flip-”

“If you’re so eager to begin this battle I want to see how your wound is healing. I can’t exactly see inside of your chest, but I can at least see outside of your back. Any indicator is better than no indicator.” It took more effort than she’d like to admit, but Bonnibel managed to successfully keep the clinical detachment from her voice, replacing it instead with something much kinder. Tyrant’s self-deprecating expression was still burned into her memory, as was her look when she had blamed herself for the princess needing to examine her wounds. All-too-late had the young scientist realized that it was her tone of voice that had been the trigger, not the act itself, and she was unwilling to make the same mistake twice.

The Unifier watched her carefully, but didn’t pull away. “...How is it?”

A warm, pink hand ran down her cool back, resulting in a light shudder.  _ Still so sensitive to touch…  _ It was a fond thought, one that evoked a genuine smile. Reluctantly, she removed her hand, lowering her shirt. “Surprisingly intact. Tyrant’s healing ability is far more potent than I initially anticipated.”

She grinned, exposing razor teeth. “So… I can kick her butt?”

“Marcy, your  _ external  _ injury is mended, but it’s impossible to know for certain how your chest is. You’ve never needed to heal a wound like that, and there’s no way of knowing-”

“So… I can kick her butt?”

Bonnibel shot her a pointed look. “...How does your chest feel.”

“Like a chest.” It was a dismal evasion. “I mean… come on, Bonnibel. I’m moving, right?”

“...Yes, but-”

“So… I can kick her butt?”

Bonnibel took a deep breath.  _ Technically, yes. But…  _ But it was the recognition that as much as she wanted to deny it the Unifier was right: she was outmatched, and it was impossible to say how well her heart was healing. To make matters worse Lady Abadeer knew all of her weaknesses, but her own were well-shielded. Unfortunately, she hesitated too long, and the Unifier knew exactly what that meant. Apparently Finn did as well; while the three monarchs were distracted Finn had retrieved the half-demon’s bass from where it had fallen beside her. With an apologetic smile offered to the candy golem he handed it to the soon-to-be combatant. “Your instrument of wanton mayhem, m’lady.” She gladly accepted it, clutching its staff, readjusting to the feel of its weight and size.

“Alright, wad. Let’s-”

“WAIT!”

Four sets of eyes turned to Jake… who thrusted the sword into Bonnibel’s hands. Finn chanced a glance to the Unifier, but she only shrugged, equally confused. “Uh… Jake?” 

He smirked, pointing at Lady Evil. “You said me and Finn can’t help Marce out. You didn’t say the princess couldn’t.” 

Lady Evil blinked, tilting her head to the side as she considered the logic. After several tense moments she nodded jovially. “I suppose not. My bad. Though I gotta say, BonBon…” She took stock of her candy elemental, her smirk an odd mix of narcissistic and loving. “You carry a sword oddly well. Perhaps not  _ that  _ sword-”

“Because it could almost-kill you?”

She shrugged. “No. Well, yeah, but that’s not what I meant. I meant that it doesn’t suit you in particular. Can’t put my talon on why, though. Too large, perhaps? Or too long...” She tapped her chin thoughtfully before looking to Finn, whose eyes narrowed at her. “That reminds me: when I get back to Ooo remind me to have something better made for her, ‘kay? She really shouldn’t spend the rest of her life unarmed.” His teeth ground, but before he could respond the Unifier’s axe rose, separating the group - Bonnibel specifically - from Lady Evil’s line of sight. 

“Don’t.”

Finn and Jake exchanged a look, the dog glancing then from the vampire, to the demon, then back again. “Uh… Marce?” Whereas only moments ago she had been her typical devil-may-care self, quite keen on the idea of a violent resolution, she had abruptly grown quiet. Jake rubbed his chin, watching her carefully.  _ Right when I gave the princess the sword? That’s what made you snap? Really, Marce?  _ She shook her head, looking as uncharactically pensive as Finn’s anger had been. The elder champion couldn’t help but ponder that, but liked where it was going. 

“The wad’s an evil buttmunch, but she’s right about one thing. We’ve all been down here for who knows how long, and I’ve spent all that time avoiding my problem. Then you guys got here, and you kind of brought it all out in the open. I was happy the way things were, don’t get me wrong. I miss it, but this is on me now. You even tried to give  _ Bonnibel  _ a sword! She doesn’t even do swords!”

“We just want you to come home-”

“I promised you dweebs I’d go back to Ooo, and I can’t do that if you keep fighting this for me.”

“...But, like, you  _ can _ -”

She glared at the young hero, whose mouth slammed shut. “No, Finn. I can’t. You guys have done a lot for me here, and I’m totes grateful. ‘Specially since… I’ll probably forget all about it or something, but you can’t help me with this one. A loophole’s nice, don’t get me wrong. Pretty validating to see her mess up, and I ‘ppreciate the thought… but I’m sick of the insults and I’m sick of her stupid grin. She’s part of me, so I need to show her that we’re more than what we were when we were all separate. Stay out of this.”

“Come on, Marce-”

She shook her head once more, glancing over her shoulder at her bros and lover, shooting them a look identical to the one Rechte had given them just before narrowly killing Linke. The rage had dispersed and had been replaced with her own exaggerated self-opinion, one Finn hoped wasn’t a bluff. It paled in comparison to the Baddie’s, of course, but it was encouraging nonetheless. When she turned back her eyes locked on Lady Abadeer’s, just as the being of evil manifested her own axe.   
  
“Nah, guy. She’s mine.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> Gone:
> 
> Chaotic Evil (Power Recovered: Shapeshifting)  
> Chaotic Good (Power Recovered: Invisibility)  
> Neutral Good (Power Recovered: Telekinesis)  
> Neutral Evil (Power Recovered: Pyrokinesis)  
> Lawful Neutral (Power Recovered: Healing)  
> Lawful Good (Power Recovered: Flight)  
> Chaotic Neutral (Defunct)
> 
> Not Gone:
> 
> Lawful Evil  
> True Neutral


	24. All In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Guys! Look how close we are to the end! That's so sad for me! One thing I'd like to state before we go much further is that chapter 25 (the next chapter) will be the last FULL chapter. I know what you're thinking: "But CwT! You said there would be 26 chapters!" There will be! But I won't tell you what it is! I'm kind of a jerk like that.
> 
> As always, thank you all so much for your encouragement in all of its forms. I can honestly say that without you guys commenting/bookmarking/kudos-ing we'd be nowhere near the point we are now. When I originally mapped out this story I assumed that at this point in time we'd be at maybe half-way. So you guys rock is the short version.
> 
> One last thing about this chapter. There is some mild reference to mental health stuff in this chapter. I tried to make it as un-triggering as humanly possible, but I know I have a few readers out there that are really sensitive to that kind of thing, so even though I'm pretty sure it's not bad, but I'd rather be overly cautious than risk anything.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Graphic Violence  
> Science!  
> More Medical Terms  
> Mental Health Things  
> Mostly One Long Fight Scene  
> Reveals That Will Definitely Show Up in Future Stories  
> Feels If You Squint Just Right  
> Fatality?

 

Those were the last words she uttered before the battle began. There were no taunts or jeers, not a single joke or sarcastic remark. Whereas the Usurper was drunk on her lunacy and confident in her assumed invincibility the Unifier was devoid of humor. It was the first time in her unnatural life that there was no backup plan, and nowhere to run or hide. There was no way around Lady Evil, only through her, and the vampire knew the price of failure, because it wasn’t just about her. Not anymore. The stakes were so much higher now. The Candy Kingdom had always unwittingly relied on her to keep its safe, but this was a new enemy, a threat unlike any other. She had to protect it, had to protect her best friends who were and would always be in service of that kingdom, and who had sacrificed and risked so much just to save her. Her mate, as furious with her as she was, was relying on her. Lady Evil felt nothing even close to remorse or mercy, and if left unchecked she could and would destroy lives and tear families apart.

Failure now would mean so much more than her own death, because the villain was literally herself. She, Marceline the Vampire Queen, would be responsible for chaos and calamity beyond what the Usurper ever imagined, because if it were the Usurper alone the damage would be easier to heal. Her goals were so simple, at least comparatively; destruction, chaos, mayhem, but these were all things that, in time, the world could recover from. Ooo would be destroyed either way, but Lady Evil didn’t derive the same sick satisfaction as her fellow Baddie; the Usurper would relish in the chaos, but Lady Evil would be utterly indifferent, the suffering of others meaning less than nothing. The Unifier knew that if she failed she would be responsible for everyone she knew and loved losing everything they held dear, and in ways that even time could not possibly heal. The Great Mushroom War would be a calamity that would pale in comparison.

The moment she had been certain that the outsiders were out of the danger zone the Unifier had taken off for her enemy. Her newly absorbed rage screamed for her to release all fury upon Lady Abadeer without restraint, but the vessel wasn’t stupid; the demon was infinitely more experienced than herself, and was more than confident in her abilities, and with just cause. The Usurper lost her battle because she had lost control of herself, had given in to her emotional instability. The Unifier would make no such mistake, if she had all of her vampiric abilities back she was going to use all of her vampiric abilities, though she did desperately miss her ability to bloodlust. But, for whatever reason, it just wasn’t coming back to her and she had no time to dwell on it. She grinned, raised her axe, but the moment Lady Evil lifted her’s she unexpectedly vanished.

The demon stopped, tilting her head to listen. Even she had dropped her humor, just as composed but more serious now than the outsiders had ever seen her. In preparation for the Unifier’s propensity to cut people in half following her vanishing act the Baddie all but sealed herself in a wall of flames, the white fire’s heat intense enough to be felt from across the battlefield. Yet here was even more silence, as the three were too engrossed in the fledgling battle, knowing that it was out of their hands. They had brought the Unifier as far as they could, and the rest was solely up to her. Finn clutched the hilt of his sword out of habit, but knew it was a futile gesture.  _ Come on, Marce! Kick her butt! _

And yet… nothing. The Unifier was just gone. Behind her flame shield Lady Evil tilted her head the opposite direction, listening closely for any signs of the vessel. The sign came in the form of an axe throw with expert precision, aimed squarely at her head. The shield was dropped, giving Lady Abadeer the necessary space to raise her own axe to deflect it, but the moment she did so the Unifier reappeared in the form of a great wolf, teeth bared. It rounded on her, but this time the demon didn’t have time to deflect the attack before yellowing fangs sank into her arm. Lady Evil grimaced, but only slightly, otherwise betraying no signs of her discomfort. Instead she smirked, grabbing the wolf by the neck and squeezing, causing it to whine loudly as the bones of its throat began to crack, as her larynx was pushed hard enough for the vampire’s vision to fade briefly. It was pain, but it only lasted for a moment before it engulfed itself in a bright orange flame. Lady Evil dropped her, though by her expression it seemed to be more in surprise than anything else, and the Unifier vanished once more.

“What exactly was the poin-”

She was interrupted once more, this time by a great scythe lashing from seemingly nowhere, narrowly missing her stomach. This time the demon was ready, and she brought the axe down on the scythe at the exact point the blade tapered off. It seized and vanished, but gave no indication of where its owner was located; it seemed to just vanish in the air. “Attack and recede, Unifier? Is that the best you can do? I’m sincerely asking. Especially without your-” She glanced to where the vampire’s bass had fallen, but it had disappeared. “Ah. A distraction. Well played.” Her ear twitched as she felt the wind around her disrupted. “But not well enough.” She reached down, talons dug into the ground up to the third knuckle and, in one swift motion, she dislodged a boulder-sized chunk of ground, just in time to slam it into the great back dive-bombing her, the *crack* of her ribs unmistakable. The bat coughed a smidge of dark blood, clutching its stomach, but before the Unifier could disappear once more Lady Evil rushed her, igniting both hands as she grabbed her by her damaged torso, over the broken bones. “Roasted bat is a delicacy, I hea-”

Her taunt was interrupted when she was forced backwards by a strong telekinetic field. It threatened to slam her into the already damaged wrought-iron gate, but the engulfing flames instead shifted into twin blades which pierced the ground, steadying Lady Evil and preventing her from going anywhere. As she rose she brought the fire blades with her, splitting them with her claws into seven smaller blades. With a smirk she launched them at the Unifier, who had only enough time to raise a shield large enough to defend against some of the daggers, one lodging in her thigh, another cutting into her side. She hissed and ignited her hand once more, only to have it extinguish upon realizing that it would be impossible for her to cauterize a burn.

The moment of hesitation was enough for Lady Evil. Once more her claws pierced the ground, but this time they weren’t the only things that emerged. As they pulled up a shadowy mass came with them, wavering and rippling as she slammed it down, covering the cobblestone in its black sheen. From this black sheen dozens of hands erupted, some humanoid, some animalistic, some unidentifiable, all disturbing in their rich detail, the smooth lines akin to veins, all grabbing at the Unifier. Her eyes widened and she took to the air, only to have her leg caught at the ankle. Her eyes slit, and with a snarl her own hand became a grey claw, which grabbed the risk of the offending limb and pulled, snapping it at the root. The moment it left the mass it disappeared, but she had no time to ponder the implications; no sooner had she freed herself she caught Lady Evil snapping a spike off of her fence, launching it at the vampire and forcing her to raise another shield in defense.

From her relative safety Bonnibel watched, hand clenched tight enough to reopen the wound on her wrist. “Marcy, you have to get out of being on the defensive! You can’t win if you only defend yourself! You have to find a way to attack!” 

Finn looked to her briefly, concerned that it may count as helping her, before deciding-  _ nuts to that!  _ “Come on, Marce! Every bad guy has a weak point! It’s like… the law! And she’s all about laws!” 

If the Unifier heard him she gave no indication. What she did do, however, was drop her shield the moment she saw Lady Abadeer go for a second spike. Her frown turned into a smirk as she vanished yet again. When the demon turned back only to find her opponent missing she tilted her head in curiosity, rotating the weapon in her free claw. “Is this your favorite trick? I’ve already seen what Usurper could do! Show me what  _ you  _ can do!”

“Wish granted!” 

Though it wasn’t what Lady Evil was expecting it was effective nonetheless: the entirety of her fence collapsed through the ground, taking a small part of the connecting Citadel with it and robbing the Baddie of her ammo. When she saw the destruction of her Citadel her eyes briefly slitted before returning to their pinned state. “What the flip-” When the Unifier emerged she saw ‘what the flip’ indeed, because it was a new form. Or, more accurately, a form she had only taken once before, and even that was only partial. Finn gaped, Jake’s jaw hanging open. Bonnibel, on the other hand, smirked.

“Is… is she a varmint?!”

She couldn’t stifle all of her laugh. It was just so absurd, so unpredictable, such a ‘Thing Marceline Would Do’. “Yes, Finn. She’s a varmint.”

“When did she learn to turn into a varmint?!”

“Well-”

“HEY! I don’t wreck  _ your  _ home!” 

Bubblegum’s humor faded at Lady Abadeer’s exclamation, and she returned her attention to the fight at hand.  _ Good call getting rid of the fence, Marcy! Take her down!  _ When the shadowed hands stretched towards her the Unifier vanished once more, though her laughter rang out. Lady Evil was less amused. “Very well.” When a careful scan of the area didn’t reveal her foe the Baddie lifted her bass in the air, above her head, and began to rotate it. As she did the edges of the blade seemed to slice the air, catching fire from some friction that, in all likelihood, was misdirection and did not actually exist. The faster she rotated the more the longer the trail of fire seemed to extend until it was a spiral until the air around it began to heat into an inferno, forcing the Unifier to shield herself and betray her position, just as the Usurper did. Her location given away the spiral tightened into a lance, which was shot into her, knocking her from the sky. The makeshift weapon had pierced her already badly wounded stomach, narrowly missing her heart, and while a fire lance would never be able to gank a vampire there was no telling how healed her’s was. Her flesh singed, taking part of her shirt with it before she could dislodge the lance.

She landed intact, but she landed hard, the sickening *crack* of her own arm ringing in her ears. The Unifier knew that her torso was heavily burned, could smell her own flesh cook, but for some reason her ability to heal just wasn’t working on the burns as well as it should be. Instead she redirected her efforts to her fractured arm, a difficult task given that she had to press part of the bone into her skin, back into position. Lady Abadeer chuckled softly at her suffering as she watched her struggle to deal with her mangled limb. “Nothing burns hotter than demon fire, Unifier. Even Tyrant’s healing won’t be enough to give you a quick-fix.”

“So roast me alive? Is that your plan?”

“Well, less of a plan and more of a vague intention.”

The Unifier bit back a retort when she realized that there were a dozen or more shadowy hands trying to sneak up behind her. Her eyes brightened with an idea and she took to the sky once more, only to engulf herself in flames to deter them from grabbing her once more, just as a certain elemental had once taught her, disappearing soon after. Just as she predicted, the hands stopped and Bonnibel smiled. Finn blinked and leaned over to her, whispering, “what happened?” 

She nodded and whispered back, “I think Lady Abadeer is directing them. If she can’t see her they can’t get to her, and if the air is too hot she won’t be able to feel where she is.” Indeed, Lady Evil was listening for her enemy very intently, befuddled.

Then the hands were spikes and surged upwards, skewering the invisible half-demon.

There was a roar of pain as two caught the Unifier, dark blood dripping down them. Still, she did not reemerge, but the trickle was enough to give her away. Lady Abadeer grabbed her axe. “Where did they catch you, Unifier?” There was no response, but that didn’t seem to deter her. “Very-” Now she did respond. Or, more accurately, the axe embedded in Lady Evil’s back at the point it met her shoulder did. She roared upon its impact, but rather than lift it free she turned, catching her own axe in the Unifier’s side, at her abdomen, straight into her only partially healed ribs. Only then did she show herself, a great bat that screeched from the pain. Lady Evil ripped her enemy’s weapon free, dropping it to ground, forgotten. She rotated her own, slamming its staff into the Unifier’s injured side, dazing and grounding her.

The vampire rolled onto her stomach, all-too-late realizing that it was the exact trap the Usurper had fallen into moments before her death. Just like then, Lady Abadeer slammed the base of her axe into the base of her spine, and she hissed in pain, silently thankful that the blow didn’t break it. Before the final blow could be struck the Unifier shifted, this time to a small black rat with four garnet eyes, which scurried out of the point of impact. Once clear of the landing zone she returned to her humanoid form, having just enough time to mount a telekinetic shield before the axe could befall her once more. She panted from the exertion and pushed the shield outward, driving Lady Abadeer back. It wasn’t by much, but it was enough for her to see straight and with momentous effort she stood once more, panting and bleeding. Lady Evil watched calmly, cauterizing her axe wound. Now that they were both still the Unifier could see that her previous attacks did indeed land; there were gashes, cuts, and missing chunks of a once immaculate suit, which was encouraging, but it was clear which combatant was more injured, which one was having trouble staying upright.

“I can give credit where credit is due, Unifier. You’ve fought well, beyond what I initially thought you were capable of. Well done, and I mean that sincerely.”

“You don’t sound sincere,” she spat.

“No? I suppose that’s natural, given what I am and everything I’ve done to you. But I assure you, I am being sincere.” She placed her claw over where her heart would be. “Demon’s honor. I didn’t anticipate your ability to actually utilize the seven of you. You’ve learned a lot about yourself, and you’ve impressed me.”

“Then tell me what you are,” she growled. 

To her surprise Lady Evil shrugged, watching her counterpart thoughtfully. When their eyes locked her natural serenity seemed to shift into something stoic, something emotionless. Her arrogance radiated, it always was the Unifier imagined, but it was oddly tempered. “I suppose you deserve to know. You’ve earned the right, before I kill you.”

“Taunting the hero before you off her? That’s cliche, Abadeer!” It was Finn, shouting from the sidelines as Jake did his back to restrain him. For all his party animal ways Jake considered himself a fair dealer and a protective brother, even if it meant-

“No, Finn. Not cliche. I’m not one for theatrics, I’m afraid. Never had the gift for it, you know? She’s just earned the right, and like I said, I can give her credit where credit is due.” The human sucked in his breath, ready to argue, but one gentle hand on his shoulder was enough to still him. He didn’t need to look to know who it was, or why she had stopped him; Princess Bubblegum was right, they needed to know as well. Even if it meant-

Lady Abadeer trailed her gaze from the Unifier’s broken body to her friends, then back to the vampire. She paused then, and while her other self was tempted to call her on her dramatics she knew that wasn’t what was happening. Pure evil or not, she was truthful in that Lady Evil was not one for theatrics, too much of a stickler for rules and order. Not that it bode well that she was taking such time in composing her answer. After too long she sighed, turning her attention to her axe, dislodging it from the ground to trace its blade with her thumb. It wasn’t just her demeanor that was emotionless now, her eyes far away. It was hard to decipher if she was speaking to the Unifier or the outsiders, but all four mutually suspected both.

Belatedly Finn realized that she never corrected him when he called his friend a hero.

“I was the first of us. Not here, but in Ooo, before it was Ooo. I predate the others. Before sentiment, before logic, before instinct, before rage… before everyone else there was me. In a way I created them all. They cannot exist without me, and so  _ you  _ cannot exist without me. But… I am different than the others, as you can imagine from my being a demon whereas the rest of you are vampires. They are… self-indulgent. They act outwardly and exist just within us, but my gift is to spread to others. Maybe I want to. Maybe I don’t. Does it matter?” The question was rhetorical, and they all knew it. She was speaking in riddles, and that was a terrible sign.

“I am destruction beyond anything the Usurper was capable of, and it’s only natural that you, or at least Whole Marceline, learned to lock me away. I can only imagine how much pain it must have inflicted for her to know that I exist, and that I’m one of the biggest aspects of her mind, so what does that say about us? In time… I learned to lock myself away as well. Strict self-control was something even I could recognize as important, even if it did limit my power. Especially as we grew and the others formed. It was self-preservation. Especially when Sentiment showed up. I liked her the most, you know. She kept me in check, and I was free to grow because she gave me structure and rules. That’s all control is, after all: structure and rules. As you can see,” she gestured to the world around her, “I’m pretty good at both.” Finn and Jake exchanged confused looks. She lifted her head, focusing on the Unifier, who was doing her best to mitigate her own damage.

“I watched us grow and explore the world, learn where we fall into it. I waited. I plotted. Manipulated in order to get what I wanted. I knew how to play a long con. I influenced you, of course. I influenced everyone. Not just us. Everyone. Like I said, it’s a gift.” She sounded proud of all things. “When we first arrived here, in this ruined mindscape, you were the first to exist, but I was the second. I observed the rest of you be born. The Usurper, Tyrant, Navigator… in the order of what was strongest within us.” Bonnibel frowned, but didn’t interrupt.  _ That makes sense. It would certainly explain the power differentials.  _ “By the time you were all created, even while you were still finding yourselves, I was fully realized. When this,” she tapped the amulet at the base of her throat, “manifested I knew what I was, knew my destiny, knew what I would have to do. When you were all still learning what you were and what you could do I followed you, manipulating your growth individually. Then I waited, a skill that comes only with age and experience.

“I mentioned once that you all traded with me variously, until Arbitrator put a stop to it. She understood the danger of what I was most of all, but as hard as it may be to believe you were actually the first to recognize me for what I was. I wasn’t clear why, but my mistake was to stop watching you because you seemed so unimportant at the time. As a result you spread the knowledge to everyone else, and when I realized my mistake I knew that I had to put a stop to that. So I traded each of you for your memories. Well, except Usurper, but she didn’t understand the threat that information posed to me. She couldn’t. Not her nature.” For a brief, shining moment the impassivity shifted to wry amusement before returning. “A safe Structure here. A Gate there. I thought it especially ironic when you traded me for Tyrant’s caging, but hey, why argue with good fortune? But yeah… you all tried to name me, and I couldn’t have that. Couldn’t let you dictate my fate.”

Her head tilted as she paused once more. As she considered how much to reveal before truly answer the question. She looked to Finn, to Jake, before settling on Bonnibel, who did her best to match her stoicism but couldn’t control the curious glint in her eyes. She never could, not around Marceline. The older woman simply knew her too well. With a smirk and wink she looked back to the Unifier, who finally righted herself on shaky legs, too hurt and too tired to even float. “You were especially creative, I admit. You tried lots of titles, all technically accurate. I like things that are technically accurate. Not enough to leave your mind alone and let you remember me, but - and I admit this is a little belated - you did a good job. You were very clever.”

“What did I call you.”

Her sigh was heavy, but her smile nostalgic. “Deceiver. Betrayer. Traitor. I liked that one a lot. Honestly, if they weren’t so accurate I’d be insulted. But none of them captured my wit and my charm, so I preferred Lady Evil. Or Lady Abadeer. Depended on who was asking, you know? But then I found the internal clock on my way out of the Cave House, and… well, I’ve already explained what  _ that  _ could only mean, so then I had to do another round of trading to stop you from saying my name. Pretty ironic after all the work I just put in, I know, but hey! I love irony.” Her attention returned to her axe, specifically the strings of her bass. She plucked one, clearly pleased at the light *strum* she received. “The Usurper’s Rage and Jealousy. The Navigator’s Sentiment and strive to be our moral compass. Rechte’s Reason. Linke’s Instinct. Tyrant’s Loyalty, Submission and Self-deprecation. Arbitrator’s strive against impossible odds to be more than what we made ourselves into. You’ve met everyone, except me.”

“And you? What are  _ you _ made of?” 

To the Unifier’s surprise she seemed to give her question serious consideration, as if she never truly thought about it before. “I suppose I’m a composite of many things, depending on how you look at me. Our sense of duty, and our guilt at having selfishly forsaken it. The knowledge of who we are and who we are meant to be, no matter how far we run or how well we hide. I am anguish. Sorrow. Desperation. Despondency. But as correct as they all are none of those capture what makes me  _ me. _ So, please allow me to introduce myself for realzorz.” She gave an exaggerated bow, too similar to the one she offered Bonnibel in her dream, and the younger woman shuddered. As if to drive the point home Lady Evil stared at the princess before locking eyes with the Unifier, oblivious to Finn and Jake leaning closely. As if she had one more trick, one more deception up her sleeve. She didn’t, or at least she didn’t try one.

“The name and game is Despair. At your service.” After a short pause she chuckled at her own joke. “Well, not really.”

The silence that followed was crushing as the gravity of the situation came upon the four in full force. She smirked at the Unifier. “You seem surprised. Are you truly that ignorant of how we function?” It seemed like a genuine question, but the vampire had no answer.

“But…” That was as far as she got, but Lady Abadeer wasn’t feeling charitable. 

“But? But what?” It took every ounce of restraint the singer had to not turn and look to the outsiders - her friends - for support. Lady Evil had outright stated they were not to help her, and knowing her she was being literal down to the finest detail. 

“How are you…?” 

The demon sighed. “Let me guess. I’m not how you imagine Despair personified would look?” She shook her head, affirming her suspicions. “I’m disappointed, but not surprised. How  _ should  _ I look? Tyrant was just as much submission and self-deprecation as she was loyalty. How should  _ she  _ have looked? Move beyond the superficial and you really get at the heart of the matter, because when you reach true despair you stop turning outward. You become numb and you curl into yourself. The thing you - all of you - have to understand is that everyone has a face below the surface. Someone like me. We watch, but we all look different. We all act differently, because we’re adaptable but, and this is the important part, we’re all insidious. It’s easy to recognize rage when you see it because it makes things go ‘boom’. Same goes for things like loyalty and reason, though sometimes you gotta test those ones to know their full extent.”

“...You said you were different.”

“Yeah, because everyone we live in is different. Some of us are louder than others, draw attention to ourselves. Or they try to break the surface.”

“But you didn’t. You hid from all of us.” It was a question, but the Unifier couldn’t bring herself to phrase it as once. 

Lady Evil got the message anyway. “We’re a thousand years old, and like I said, I’m the oldest part of our psyche we have.  _ I’m  _ over a thousand years old, so I’ve got lots of experience being me, and about the time Sentiment and Loyalty popped into existence I knew that if I wanted to stay alive I’d have to keep quiet. I mean… the rest of you literally can’t exist without me. I  _ made  _ you, sometimes purposefully even! I know you better than you know yourselves. So I burrowed, made myself a nice little home where I could watch and influence the others. You were so young, so naive about the way the world really works. I learned strict control, and the limits of how far I could push my influence. I got good at adapting. Like… your ability to observe others and predict their actions? All me. Fizz, even most of our musical talent stems from me.”

“Wait.  _ You’re  _ the reason none of us have been able to write anything new in like a hundred years?!” Behind her Finn frowned, catching Bonnibel out of the corner of his eye. She was doing an admirable job of remaining calm, but he knew better, and he mentally commended her on resisting the urge to go and deal with this situation herself. She was doing a better job of it than he was anyway. Only Jake’s paw clutching the back of his shirt held him back, and as much as he disliked the restraint he was grateful regardless. He had to believe in the Unifier now; there was nothing he could do but be sidelined and cheer her on.

“Yeah. Well, not  _ directly _ . Not purposefully, at least. You gotta understand something, Unifier. In order to be whole, to be happy with yourself, you  _ need  _ me.”

“Why the flip-”

“Because I’m pain and everything good stems from pain,” came the calm response. “We write music to express our sorrow, and from our sorrow come those happy squishy emotions you prize so much. Loyalty came from me because it keeps those we love close to us, because we’re terrified of losing them. Sentiment brought us out of our mind and drove us to connect with the world around us. If something is good it came from something bad, and that something bad came from me. I’m the great equalizer,” she replied smugly. “You locked me away, with my blessing, because creatures like me shouldn’t exist unchecked. That’s how you get caught and purged.”

“Like a virus.”

Her attention turned to Bubblegum. Evidently, that didn’t count as interfering, because the demon snickered. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Finn turned from the Baddie to the princess. “Virus?”

“If an organism’s immune system catches evidence of a virus it will eradicate it to protect the host. But if the virus lays dormant, or doesn’t draw attention to itself, it could theoretically exist indefinitely. Many viruses that operate in this manner can cause serious damage without being detected in the slightest because they’ve evolved methods to bypass the immune system. Or…”

“...Make them work to their advantage. Is that what you were going to say, BonBon?” The way her jaw clenched proved Lady Evil correct. “Yup,” she popped the ‘p’. “I never really thought of myself that way, but hey, when you’re right you’re right. You know what’s funny about some viruses, now that ya mention it? Sometimes, if it’s the right virus, they can dig so deep in an organism that it literally can’t function without it.” The Unifier blinked, then turned to Bonnibel, mouthing,  _ ‘literally?’  _ To her disgust the younger woman only nodded stiffly and she returned to her opponent. “So, like I said. You,” she pointed a single talon at the Unifier, “need me. You can’t be you without me.” There was arrogance in that statement, but it was too tranquil to be a threat. It simply was.

Finn gulped. He didn’t like where this was going, but was powerless to stop it. “But… you’re a big part of Marce. We’re her best bros. Peebles has been with you for like a million years-”

“But you never noticed anything you’d call despair, right?”

“Right.” He sounded more confident than he felt. Or looked.

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as her eyes closed momentarily. “Finn, everyone has a little bit of me in them, but I can’t expect you to understand. You’re young.” He didn’t like how sincere she sounded at all. It never meant anything good. “When we were younger we felt things so strongly. We were a kid, left all alone in a harsh and unforgiving world. How could we not? I was born then, against that struggle, but back then I didn’t know what I was. I just knew I felt things strongly and that the world was a cruel place. Then Rage came tumbling out, our response to being abandoned and left to fend for ourself. When we met Simon there was Loyalty and Sentiment… the next thing I knew there were more aspects to our psyche than just me, but by then I was already developed. They were so… innocent. Rage didn’t know when to chill, Loyalty didn’t know when it should be limited to protect us. Sentiment didn’t know it could be self-destructive.” As her voice shifted to something nostalgic her eyes darted to Bubblegum. As if anyone could forget.

“By then I had moved on. I hardened. We went numb periodically, and it took those powerful aspects of our mind to break through that. I became a double-edged sword: I was the most adept at survival, but also the biggest liability when the situation didn’t call for it.” She chuckled, a dark and humorless thing that something radiated her arrogance. “We’ve always drowned in sorrow, but we don’t need to breathe, so why worry about it? We got clever, learned to channel me into something useful, especially our music. We found outlets and ways to turn me into something beneficial.” Once more she looked to Bonnibel. “When you found us you became the perfect outlet. I never imagined I’d find someone else so dark but able to hide it in plain sight. Someone we as a whole could connect with so absolutely. I found in you what I always found in myself. You were beautiful. Still are, don’t get me wrong. But that’s not why we’re here, is it?”

The Unifier drummed her fingers on her axe’s staff, a sign she was mulling something over. Behind her Bubblegum raised an eyebrow, resisting a small smile.  _ You’re up to something. I know you are. You can do this, Marcy.  _ Whatever she was going to ask was interrupted by her friend. “She doesn’t need you! You just told us you’re a donkin’ virus!”

Lady Evil groaned, “Finn, stop. You can’t just pick and choose which parts of us you like and don’t like. I’m her, she’s me, and I have a goal to accomplish.”

“So you’re just gonna kill everyone else to get what you want?”

“I thought we went over this. Yes, Finn. Because - and I know this is hard to believe - I like me. I’m stronger, smarter, and the most kick-butt. Last woman standing, you know? Well, except Unifier. But I think we just established that’s temporary.”

“But you needed us to kill the others for you.”

She snorted. “‘Need’ is a pretty strong word. Think about it. Unifier’s got everyone else in her and I’m  _ still  _ winning. I didn’t  _ need  _ you to kill them-”

And then it hit her. It hit the Unifier with the same force as the sledgehammer she once used to destroy her princess’s super secret spy system. It was a memory, an off-handed comment she had thoughtlessly tossed aside. But, most importantly, it was the answer to her problem, and when she grinned it caught Lady Evil’s eye. “...You just messed up. Big time.”

A black eyebrow arched. “Messed up?”

The grin was wider now. “No, you’re totes right. You didn’t need us to kill Arbitrator, Linke, Rechte, or Navigator. Just Tyrant. That’s what all this was! Well, probs not  _ all  _ this, but that’s what you were trying to do! You needed us to kill her for you!”

Her head tilted. “Oh, this should be good. Why would I need you to kill her? Yes, she was a fellow Top Three-er, but we’re all equal in strength. Well, as equal as a third of anything can get. Which, admittedly, is never enough.” Bonnibel had a horrible sense of deja vu, but was too intrigued to give it much thought. The Unifier looked way too pleased with herself. 

“You said it yourself: she had a way better chance of beating you than the Usurper.”

“Well, yeah. You’ve met the lunatic. She gets all emotional, and when you get all emotional you lose focus and leave yourself exposed. You know. The thing that happened.”

“Yeah… but that’s not the only reason.” She looked over her shoulder, still grinning. “Right, Finn?”

And then it hit him as well.

_ You have a lot of horror in your past, kid. I don’t know all your biz, but I know some of it. There’s a lot for her to act on. _

_ Like I said man, none of the rest of us can do it. Part of what makes her so dangerous is that she won’t just mess you up physically she’ll mess with your mindmeats, too. _

“...Oh man. Marce is right. It wasn’t just that she was just as strong as you. It was ‘cause she could do something no one else could!”

Lady Abadeer seemed to ponder this before her eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh! You’re referring to her ability to turn into a void demon thing? I mean, granted, yeah, it’d make her harder to fight since we’re almost impervious to damage, but have you met me? I’m pretty resourceful once you get to know me.”

“You’re also a dillweed.”

“Represent.”

Bonnibel blinked. The pieces were snapping together, and she felt the answer stab her soul. When she glanced reflexively to the Unifier the vampire nodded sympathetically and knew she was right, and just like that the young scientist felt her anger born anew. “You hid what you were from us because if we knew we wouldn’t have gone after the Usurper after we freed Tyrant. We would have gone after you. And you would have lost.”

At her voice Lady Abadeer dropped her attention from the boy in favor of something pink and perfect. “That’s a pretty bold claim, Bon. I didn’t tell you what I was to mess with you.” Her eyes rolled. “No big secret. It just unbalanced you, and really, isn’t that the first step to winning any battle? Pretty sure  _ you  _ were the one who taught me that.” She answered her own question with a sage nod. Finn took a deep breath… then looked to the Unifier, imploring her to end the demon’s reign of terror.  _ As much as I’d love to shove the truth down Abadeer’s throat I can’t get in the way. Come on, Marce. _

The queen was all too happy to comply. “Maybe. But I think the bigger reason is because our power in that form comes from messing with mindmeats, and the more messed up stuff there is in there the more she’s got to work with. More to let it fester. If we knew you were Despair we’d know she had an advantage over you. Wouldn’t have mattered that the Usurper was basically next door if we had a sure thing.”

Lady Evil sighed. If the outsiders had been hoping for a bitter defense indicating that they were right they didn’t get one. “There are a few problems with your hypothesis. One,” she held up a talon, “you’re  _ grossly  _ overestimating how strong her power was. Two,” a second talon, “if we assume for the sake of argument that she  _ did  _ kill me there’s no guarantee you’d be able to kill the Usurper. Three,” one last talon, “just because I’m Despair incarnate does not mean her power would be able to be  _ that _ detrimental to me. Her power stems from opening the mental vault every mind has. But I  _ am  _ that mental vault. There’s nothing for her to use against me. I’m quite content with who I am. I bend reality. I warp perception. You’re strong, Unifier. But I’m beyond such tricks.”

“You’re lying.”

“Oh? Am I now?”

“Yup. See, you’re alive, wad. “I can hear your heartbeat. Can’t hide that. As soon as I mentioned Tyrant’s ability it sped up. You’re nervous. I’mma find out why.”

And there it was. An emotion for familiar, so alien. The suffocation. The icy vice-like clamp on three minds that didn’t belong, and the one that did. The dread. The choking sense of darkness, as if all happiness had gone from the world, never to return. The panic, the mania, the desolation. And then the creature joined them, its aura having preceded it. Tall, lanky. Flesh that seemed to absorb all light and color around it and hold it ransom for some dark purpose. Fierce claws and talons, two red eyes the size of pin pricks centered over an impossibly wide grin loaded with needle-sharp teeth. Wings spread, only to fold into the shadow-y mass. It was impassive. It was silent. It bore its gaze into Lady Evil, making every attempt to trap it.

Finn had never been so happy to feel so alone.

The void demon and Lady Abadeer stared, silently appraising one another. It was the latter who broke the silence as she leaned against her grounded axe. “I have to give you credit. I never thought you would be able to use this ability with you so very upset with BonBon. What changed?” The Unifier didn’t respond except to arch its head slowly towards the outsiders, never taking her eyes off of the Baddie. “Ah, I see. She’s not the only one you have to protect. You’re unwilling to risk Finn and Jake against me, should I succeed in killing you.” When the beast shuddered she knew she was right. “Mm.” The demon glanced behind the Unifier, releasing an exaggerated sigh. “You’re hurting Bonnie. An interesting side-effect, given that Tyrant couldn’t. But you’re not Tyrant.” The beast shuddered again. Lady Evil seemed to consider this non-verbal response, then nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Still.” She tapped her talon on the staff impatiently, her tone a warning. “Bonnie. We have three rules. Not hurting her is rather important.”

Perhaps out of amusement, or perhaps out of some odd, genuine affection for the princess, Lady Evil allowed the Unifier to glance behind her without so much as a cheap shot. Finn and Jake’s pained expressions were nothing new, and behind the rage and pain of the void beast the vampire didn’t find it within herself to care beyond the fleeting sympathy evident in friendly fire. Bonnibel’s suffering, however, was a different story. The half-demon had gone into her most defensive form many times, but never in the candy golem’s presence, and when the Tyrant had shapeshifted her submissive nature had made it impossible to harm her. But while the Unifier had her chunk of the soul snug within her vessel she wasn’t the Baddie and could extend no such protection.

As the combatants spoke the princess was oblivious to the conversation before her. Having never before experienced the kind of torture that Marceline’s void form spawned she had been woefully unprepared. There was too much in her mind for the corruption to feed off of, too many atrocities and sins rising to the surface, gnawing and thrashing. Eyes closed, she was lost to the world around her, unaware if she was lying, standing, or sitting. It was no matter. Only her relentless logic could protect her now as it fought against the mental assault.  _ Focus, Bubblegum. You have to concentrate on something. Think of something! Anything! Just… just not what’s happening. Not the look in Tyrant’s eyes when you ki- or when Marcy clawed out her throa-  _ She felt a hard bite on the inside her cheek, and it took a hard moment to realize it was her own doing. The relief that it stopped the onslaught of mental images overwhelmed the guilt she felt in breaking her promise.  _ Okay. Okay, that’s better. It’s not real, Bubblegum. It’s just Marcy. She doesn’t know she’s doing this. She wouldn’t do this to you on purpose. She wouldn’t torture you like you’ve tortured her. She’s better than this. Better than you. Better than you’ll ever deser- Brain! Stop that! Bad brain- _

And then it stopped. She gasped for air, coughing on the sudden bliss of having her mind returned to her. She blinked hard, face contracting as she righted her consciousness, trying to return her focus to wherever she was, running down the previous series of events swiftly to determine where she left off. When her eyes did open she found Finn and Jake, both awake and alert, gawking at something before them. The princess straightened, following their expressions before joining them in gaping in disbelief. “...Tyrant?”  _ No… that’s impossible. She’s already been absorbed… unless…  _ “...Unifier?,” she whispered. 

Jake grinned at her. “Fuzz yeah!” 

Finn shot her a grin as well, before returning to the scene of battle. “You got this, Marce! Kick her butt!,” he cheered. While Bubblegum shared his elation - at least in principle - she was too baffled.  _ She transformed?  _ It made no sense; not only had the Unifier disavowed the void beast form so commonly used to protect her mate she lacked any and all control of its side effects.

The Unifier watched the outsiders carefully before her attention snapped back to Lady Evil, only to find her mask of serenity had fallen. Her back arched in a way Bonnibel immediately recognized as fixation. “How interesting. I suppose I see what’s happening here. If Bonnie can get over herself and gamble her kingdom on your behalf you saw fit to get over yourself and your hissyfit?” Silence. “Of course. I commend you on your new found maturity. And you compensated for the detrimental mental effects, at least for them. Possibly by using one of the others as a way of anchoring us to subjective reality? That trick would never work in the real Ooo, but I suppose the laws of logic are up for debate here.” She smirked, amused, but it seemed off somehow, somehow it was unbalanced and hollow, and it took Bubblegum all of a minute to figure out why.  _ You can’t block it out. She was right!  _

Before she could join her gallant champions in shouting encouragement three dark tentacles shot from the Unifier’s back, each tipped with a serrated spike, arched backwards and ready to catch Lady Abadeer at her chest, her stomach, anywhere they could. However, the demon was ready for them and launched an immense wall of fire, but to her shock the spikes pierced through it. The Unifier jerked but didn’t let the assault, and if the fire harmed her it was impossible to tell under dark flesh. Lady Evil brought her axe up, shielding her against two of the tentacles, bringing the blade down on the third before it could pierce her thigh, only to have it vanish in a dark smog before it could even touch the ground.

“Impressive, Unifier. As impervious to damage as Tyrant was. But your armor isn’t impenetrable, you know that. And nothing burns hotter than demon fire.” The axe was lifted once more, cleaving the desolate ground in an arch spreading outward, heating it until the cobblestone gave way under the immense heat of white fire. Through it all Lady Evil smirked, evidently immune to the effects of her own flame. Whether or not the Unifier felt such emotions as fear and alarm behind the madness of the void would be impossible to say, even for the Baddie, but just before the fire could devour her the remaining tentacles in her back receded, shifting into wings, bat-like and easily three times her width and as the ground collapsed around her the vampire took to the sky, observing the demon below. Lady Abadeer calmly lifted her axe from the ground, holding it over her shoulder.

“Cute. But you’re not the only one with a beast within.”

The Unifier had expected that at some point in their fight Lady Evil would shift her form, something her amulet would be more than capable of allowing her to do. What she hadn’t expected was the form she would adopt. The musician had expected the familiar bulbous head, the tentacles, the addition of four arms adorning her suit. The horns, the slitted mouth, the large fangs. It would make the most sense, of course; it was the form granted by the chaos amulet, the true form of whoever held law - or whatever passed for it - in the Nightosphere.

But when had Lady Abadeer ever done anything that made sense to anyone but herself?

When Marceline - any Marceline - shapeshifted she could adopt a wide array of potential forms, but the methodology never differed; she never created anything from nothing, and even if it was swift an observer would still be able to catch the gradual change as some part of her body turned into some new part. When Lady Abadeer shifted she disregarded these traditional rules, her new form almost seeming to erupt from within, as if it had been lurking under or perhaps within her the entire time. Her skin became a flicker of black and red, moving rapidly in and out of the visible spectrum, exactly as her crafted claw did. It made it impossible to know exactly how large she was, or what her dimensions in any capacity were; trying to decipher the fine details was headache inducing to the champions who, despite their best intentions, could only observe her in small doses. While the void demon form was disproportionate it was still vaguely humanoid, and arguably bipedal, even if the finer details were hard to decipher without going mad in the process. 

The new flesh - if it could even be called flesh - extended across her form as her torso enlarged, all characteristics identifying it as humanoid being absorbed from within, along with her immaculate suit. It tightened over her bones, which were now jagged and threatened to pierce the skin. As her boots were swallowed by the red and black spectrum her feet deformed, black talons adorned with neon green veins jutted forth, two from the front and one from the back. Her arms were elongated now, serrated blades lining them until the very edge of her palm; oddly, her claws themselves were largely unchanged, including her left claw maintaining its original grey color.

Something shifted behind her back, but it was hard to make out due to her increased height, and Bonnibel didn’t try. Like the void beast form the Unifier had adopted something about this new form was unsettling, but she couldn’t figure out what exactly, until she realized that this creature had neither of the garnet eyes she loved so much, only empty sockets. There was a revulsion there, and the princess was unable to look more than in passing, making it impossible to identify the remaining features of her head, if there were any. Unable to resist the effect she sharply turned away, eyes instead settling beyond Lady Abadeer.  _ Oh, that’s what it was.  _ Behind the demon was a long, reptilian tail that ended in three serrated barbs angled backwards, a series of smaller barbs lacking serrations layered behind them. When Lady Evil opened her mouth it seemed as though half her skull came with it, revealing an impossible amount of fangs, almost cavernous. If it was an illusion it was a convincing one. The voice that emerged was serene, just as much as her manner of speech had always been, but she heard the voice boom from  _ within  _ her mind. It captured her attention, stole it from her against her wishes. It demanded she refocus entirely on the Baddie, and the more she resisted the more the trap snared her.

“Ah, much better.”

The Unifier tilted her head in curiosity, and Lady Evil released her hold to address the silent question. “One of our greatest strengths is also one of our greatest weaknesses, Unifier: our bloodlust. We tap into all of those powerful emotions and gifts that make us such a danger to those around us, and we can do some amazing things. But the downside is that we’re super vulnerable, because we’re not fully in control. We can’t really choose when to stop, we just have to hope it’s  _ after  _ we kill the sucker but  _ before  _ we kill someone we like. It’s a last resort, but at least three of the five people in this immediate area know that if we lose control we can’t really stop it.” Finn and Jake slowly turned to Bubblegum, the latter absently pondering how he had played video games with an active time bomb, the former feeling a new feeling akin to pity for the sacrifice both ladybros had been evidently making in secret. “None of us have been able to bloodlust in this world because we draw from everything we have to do so, like a bunch of ingredients.”

“Then what are you?”

It was impossible to see the smirk, but the narcissism sure was loud enough. “I’m the fuse, BonBon. You can’t exactly set off an explosion without some kinda fuse. And that’s me. And that’s what I am.”

_Despair is her fuse?_ No part of the younger woman liked that implication. _I assumed, based on the outcomes, that her trigger was rage… this is much more disturbing._ The thought, the knowledge that her lover would have to draw on the very depths of her pain to protect that and those she loved chilled her. _Rage can be gratifying._ _But this?_ “Did you know? Whole Marceline, I mean.”

“That in order to protect that which we loved we had to let Despair feed on us? No. Like I said… I’m insidious like that.” She sounded so proud of herself that it was sickening. 

“But you can obviously bloodlust without the others.”

“Yup. Granted, I’m not as strong without the others to add to my boom, but I’m plenty strong on my own. Watch, I’ll show you.” And then she was gone, the sense of unease going with her, but while the outsiders were frantically searching around them for any sign of her re-emergence the Unifier was already bringing her great wings around her. Before they knew what was happening Lady Abadeer reappeared, claws brought down over the Unifier’s head in a frenzy. Her shield held fast against the sudden assault but she buckled from the force, only managing to push her off with the aid of her enormous wings. Not deterred in the slightest, half of the Baddie’s arm seemed to disappear, reemerging behind the Unifier. By the time she understood her predicament it was a spear and had almost pierced clear through her armor.

The shadowed mass that was once a sea of hands collapsed in on itself, soaking into the once-cobblestone ground. The Unifier melded into it, breaking the close combat, and the moment she was gone the detached limb returned to Lady Evil, only to have it turned inward to pierce the ground, draining the inky mass. Before she even had a chance to listen for her breach the Unifier was before her, claws wrapped around her throat. Yet as fast as she was Lady Abadeer was just as quick; the moment she was within striking distance her fangs crashed against her body, though under her void guise it was impossible to tell where. It was enough to cause her claws to retract, but the demon wasn’t finished. In one swift motion she turned, the barbs from her tail dislodging with a lash, embedding deep within the Unifier. She writhed in silence as Lady Evil’s form flickered out once more.

Bonnibel watched, both fascinated and afraid for her lover.  _ She’s using the visible spectrum to hide in plain sight. By manipulating light refraction she can temporarily render herself invisible, and due to her agility she can move at speeds that should be impossible, and despite her size she’s strong, possibly even stronger than before.  _ The solution was obvious in principle, but perhaps difficult if not impossible in practice. “Marcy! As long as there’s light she can hide! You have to find a way to take out her hiding places-” She wasn’t able to finish before the Unifier’s writhing turned into a thrash. Moments later Lady Abadeer reemerged, and it was easy to see the cause of their friend’s pain: though the Unifier’s void form couldn’t be deciphered what  _ could  _ be observed was the barbed tail sticking into her dark mass.

“Which part of you is trapped?,” she taunted. “Did I catch your leg? Your back? What will you do now?” If she didn’t know any better she would almost think the vampire was actually considering her response before she turned grabbing her by the tail. The unsettling grin never fading she launched backwards, pulling the tail taut and dragging her, just as Tyrant had with the Repressed Thought she so viciously drained. It didn’t last long before Lady Evil’s claws pierced the ground to stop her, but even that took a few meters before the dragging ceased. She was stunned, just but only long enough for the tail to be ripped free. Then she disappeared once more, reappearing behind the Unifier. Bonnibel could no longer mask her anxiety.  _ I forgot how fast she was in a bloodlust state. Even faster than the Usurper was. We need to slow her down…  _

She knew just the thing.

“Jake!” Through some small miracle Jake heard her over the calamity that was the battle of titans before them. “I need the pieces of my bag!” She pointed at the torn fabric; it was decently far away, but if anyone could reach them it was a dog with magical powers. He didn’t hesitate to complete his assigned task; if Bonnibel Bubblegum had a plan you listened and did as you were told. Still, it was risky. Reaching the pieces would involve skirting the battlefield, and Lady Abadeer wouldn’t hesitate to maim him if he got caught up in it, and who knew how much of the Unifier was conscious behind the void beast. He gulped, taking his time and every caution afforded to him. From the corner of his eye he saw Lady Evil stagger just a bit, and hoped it was a sigh she had been injured. 

“Got ‘em!”

The moment his furry arms returned Bonnibel snatched the fabric, then turned to- “Finn! I need the sword!” Like his brother, the younger hero didn’t question the candy golem, though that didn’t stop him from worrying. From the corner of his eye he watched the younger royal working frantically on whatever it was she was doing, but knew his energy was best spent watching the fight and cheering his friend on. 

“Come on, Marce! Show her who the alpha demon is!” As the battle raged he had to admit: he was impressed. He also had to admit that part of him was revolted that both of the creatures before him lived within his best ladybro, and could be unleashed at any time, anywhere. It gave him pause and scared him, but, more than anything, it made him worry for her mental health.

“Got it!” His thoughts were interrupted by Bonnibel’s triumph… which was then thrown into the battlefield. “Marcy!” When Finn saw what she had been up to his eyes widened: she had expertly tied the remnants of her torn bag around the sword’s hilt, covering it entirely.  _...That’ll work.  _ The Unifier didn’t hesitate, grabbing the sword by the guarded hilt. Even still her claw twitched, and all three outsiders found themselves hoping that the thick fabric was enough to shield her. In the back of her mind the young scientist made a mental note to experiment and find out what exactly makes a demon blood sword so dangerous for a demon.  _ Without hurting Marceline, of course,  _ she hurriedly thought. She knew she would need to make it a habit to tack on those clarifiers consciously until her subconscious adapted and did it for her.

The sword had the intended effect. Lady Evil’s next assault stopped just short of its blade, but before the Unifier could catch her breath or launch a counter-attack the Baddie slowly opened her impossible mouth and released an ethereal screech. Like her voice it didn’t seem to originate from within her. It just simply was, as if it emerged from her victims’ minds themselves. In reflex each outsider covered their ears, but of course it did nothing to help. The Unifier itself was not immune, though her void form granted her enough resistance to move, even if it was less coordinated, preventing her from properly directing the long blade.

Prey all but immobilized Lady Abadeer disappeared once more, her teasing laugh melding with the screech in a revolting combination. In automatic defense the Unifier brought her wings around herself once more narrowly avoiding a second barrage of tail spikes. As the screeching reached its peak Jake hissed in pain, Finn gritted his teeth, and Bonnibel’s eyes slammed shut of their own accord and could not be persuaded to open again. She heard Finn start to shout one last encouragement… when the screeching was replaced with an indescribable sound of anguish mixed with outrage and a dash of indignation on the side before Lady Evil fell silent, freeing the trio from her horrible spell, allowing them to gaze at the outcome of the battle.

The Unifier, now in her original form, panted, sword heavy in her hands. Even through the protective guard its essence seemed to bleed through, scorching her until she had no choice but to drop it or risk irreparable damage. Still, damage had been done nevertheless, and she clutched them to her chest with a grimace. But Lady Abadeer was panting as well, equally winded, and now that both had returned to their true forms it was easy to see that she was just as hurt as well; she was unsteady on her feet, eyes slitted, and her stance was wobbling ever so slightly before collapsing to one knee not of her own volition. And yet she was smiling. It wasn’t a taunting smile, or a mocking one. It was an actual smile, first aimed at the Unifier, then the outsiders. “You know, if I wanted to be pedantic I could cite you for helping her.” It was a conversational tone, lacking in accusation, but that didn’t stop Finn from hearing one. 

“No way we-”

She held up her claw to still him. “Chill, Finn. Bonnie covered the guard for Unifier, but Jake was the one who grabbed the bag pieces for her. If I wanna be picky I could make the argument that you breached contract by helping her… but I don’t want to be.”

Finn was unprepared for that and stood dumbstruck. “You… don’t?”

“Nah. That was fun.”

“What was?”

“All of it. Besides, as willing as I am to tear through you for a technicality I’m a bit tired. And there’s another technicality that I have to contend with.” She said nothing further, but gestured for the audience to join the actors on stage. Finn frowned, convinced it must be a trick of some sort, but Bonnibel was already crossing the unofficial barrier. It was only when she reached the pair that she understood what the problem was, and she did nothing to hide her own smug grin, which devolved into a frown just before grabbing the Unifier’s hands, who meant to scold her but instead hissed loudly at the contact.

Bonnibel gave her a gentle smile, releasing her hands slowly. “Sorry, Marcy.” The Unifier glared at her, but allowed her hands to be examined for the extensive damage they sported. When there was no further murder or mayhem Finn and Jake scrambled to meet up with the three. There Finn found his monarch investigating his ladybro’s hands closely, and he could see why; they looked burnt, blistered, and cut, but the wounds were foreign and he couldn’t see any real cause. She was unsteady, leaning against her paramour as she allowed herself to be examined without taking her eyes off of her opponent. He caught the princess’s eyes momentarily, which flicked south before returning to their task. When he followed them he found the demon blood sword on the ground. Or, more accurately,  _ most  _ of the demon blood sword on the ground; a large portion of the blade was missing, having broken off almost halfway down the length.

He found it embedded in Lady Evil’s hip.

Her suit was badly torn, almost unrecognizable in some parts due to the copious amount of blood covering the gashes. Somewhere along the way she had lost half of her tie and most of her right boot, and her eyes were unfocused. Her remaining claw seemed to hover over the blade lodged in her leg, and it took him too long to put the pieces together. So Jake did it for him. “Wait. You,” he pointed to the Baddie, “can’t get that out, can you?”

She laughed softly, rolling her eyes around the wince of pain. “Nothing gets past you. Nope. Can’t touch it. Still a demon, still a demon blood sword.”

“And… you can’t move with it in. So you can’t fight.”

“Nope.”

“How’d… how’d it get in there?”

The Unifier snickered, but it was weak and wavered. “Broke off the blade. Stabbed her with it. Couldn’t get the blade facing right ‘cause. You know. Half-demon.” 

Finn watched her wounds with renewed pity.  _ Well, that explains how those happened.  _ “But… why go for there? I mean, you coulda gone for the neck or-”

“Because I want her to suffer,” she muttered darkly. 

She was fixated on the demon once more, eyes slitting as she straightened. Before he could move Bonnibel was already on the case, cupping her cheek as she slid between the two to break her eye contact. It worked and the vampire blinked, eyes dilating as she relaxed. “Shh… it’s okay, Marcy. You did it. You beat her. You did an amazing job, and I’m so proud of you. Just rest and let me look at you,” she soothed.  _ I just wish you hadn’t maimed your hands in the process. _

Perhaps realizing that she did not possess the ability to see through the candy golem the Unifier reluctantly nodded. “...Alright. I’m good.”

Finn did not help. “Wait. Suffer? I mean, I know the blade hurts you guys, but-”

“I want it to poison her mind like she poisoned mine.”

“The sword?”

He silenced himself when two piercing green eyes glared at him, but Lady Evil’s soft laugh saved him a verbal tongue lashing. “Perhaps it escaped you, but the entire time Unifier was in her void form she was exercising her influence over me. Doing to me what she did to you.” 

Finn opened his mouth, paused, then closed it. “Is that why you went all bloodlust-y? To hide it?”

“Well, not so much hide, but it made it easier to mitigate the mental effects.” When he stared blankly she sighed. “It made it easier to avoid, but she was more clever than I anticipated.” She turned to the Unifier, head tilted. “I admit. I’m impressed.”

The Unifier winced as gentle pink fingers traced the outline of the freshly-formed blisters. Once satisfied that the musician could hold a conversation with her counterpart without it resorting to more violence Bonnibel allowed eye contact once more. “You were right when you said that you’re way more experienced than me, but I saw how you looked when I went all void-y. So I stalled until I couldn’t keep that form anymore-”

“-and then you stabbed me so that I couldn’t keep up my defense, exposing me to your effect.”

“Yup.”

They watched one another carefully. “Well, your gamble paid off. As per the terms of our contract if I can’t fight I can’t win, and I can’t fight. This,” she gestured to the blade in her leg, “prevents me from shifting, I can’t pull it out on my own, which means I have nothing to block out the cognitive damage already done. I can’t exactly fight both you and my own piece of our mind. Being Despair has one or two drawbacks in a sea of benefits, you see.”

Jake slammed his paws together. “So… we win?!”

The Baddie rolled her eyes. “Yes, Jake. As per the terms of our contract.”

His eyes narrowed. “No tricks?”

She groaned, “No, Jake. I’m a demon of my word and I don’t defy contractual obligations. Now, if you would kindly take this,” she gestured once more to the blade, “out of me I’d be most appreciative.” 

Eyes still narrowed, he glanced behind him towards Bonnibel. It was only with her blessing that he did as requested, ripping the red shard out of her leg without ceremony as she snarled in pain, breaking her composure for just a moment. “But if this is a trick…,” he warned. 

She either didn’t notice or pretended not to, focused instead on the gaping wound. Her claw ignited. “Mm.” With a small frown she pressed it against the wound, hissing loudly. It bothered Finn that the smell of charred flesh was bothering him less and less and hoped that change wasn’t permanent. Once the wound was mended to her satisfaction the flame extinguished and she continued as if nothing had happened, carefully rising without putting weight on the leg. “Honestly, this is the best you could hope for. You know.” She tapped her amulet. “Deathless and all.”

“So you’re gonna give us your soulshard now, right?”

“No.” 

She slowly bent her leg, grimacing at the biting pain. Without thinking Finn moved between her and his ladybros. Even if Lady Abadeer gave no indication that she would - or even could - suddenly attack them she wasn’t to be trusted, especially since it looked like the Unifier wouldn’t be using her hands anytime soon. Perhaps reading his thoughts, as he so often did, Jake shot the demon one last glare before going to retrieve their friend’s bass. “Dude, you  _ just  _ said we won-”

“She wants her payment first, Finn.” 

The boy stopped, looked to Bonnibel, then back to Lady Evil, who shrugged. “She’s right. I want my sword and my crown.” Despite her horrible wounds she seemed infuriatingly tranquil and Finn disliked it immensely. 

“You know, for someone who just got her butt whooped by someone you considered a ding dong you seem pretty chill about all of this.” 

She snorted. “Finn, seriously, what do you expect me to do? I’m not the Usurper. I’m not going to have a temper tantrum about losing a bet I agreed to. I agreed to fight Unifier under specific terms. I lost under those terms. No big ‘d’. ‘Sides…” She grinned, something akin to mischief in her eye. Something almost familiar. “I win either way.”

“...What.”

Lady Evil looked over Finn’s shoulder to Bonnibel. The Unifier was watching her as well, but she was silent, deferring to her mate. Or perhaps just exhausted. It was difficult to tell, and no one was trying that hard. “Ideally, I’d go back to Ooo solo, fulfill my goal by just heading straight for daddy’s office and taking his amulet. But like I said. I’m sneaky. Insidious. Patient. I’ll just keep influencing us, gradually changing our mentality and behavior, just enough to accomplish my goal while leaving our personality intact. You won’t even notice the difference. It won’t even occur to you.” She winked at Finn’s horrified expression. “I’m not as indulgent as the others, and I don’t need immediate gratification. I know how to wait. Besides…” Her attention returned to her favorite person. “Think of how much you know now, BonBon. The information you’ve needed to know for centuries but the others would never let me tell you. That the Nightosphere calls us. That I exist. Where our bloodlust comes from. What we’re capable of. And in return you agreed to work with me, help me cement my eventual power, and allow me to help you cement yours. I believe the technical term is ‘symbiotic’.” 

“Symbiotic,” the pink woman deadpanned. 

The mischievous glint brightened. So familiar. So like her dream it was unbalancing. “Speaking of which,” she held out her claw. “Crown.” This time there was no hesitation; the princess removed her tiara and pushed it into the demon’s claws as if the object itself offended her. Maybe, after everything, it did.

At first Lady Abadeer said nothing, only rotating it over in her claws, feeling its weight and form. Without warning she placed one claw on the pike, snapping it off as if it were a toy. As four sets of eyes stared in confusion she placed the pike between her fangs for safekeeping, effortlessly crushing the tiara itself into a small metal ball, which she tossed to Finn. “Here, you hold this.” The human caught it, stared, then looked to Bubblegum for direction. She wasn’t paying attention to her champion, however, she was watching the being of evil examine the pike. “Mm.” With expert precision two talons snuck under the royal gem’s mounting and, with great care, the jewel was pried loose. The metal was then tossed over her shoulder carelessly so that she could concentrate on her prize, which she held above her to capture whatever strange light existed in the mangled world.

She stared at it in something that seemed almost like reverence, oblivious to the bafflement around her. “Magnificent. You know… I never did really get a good look at this. Five hundred years together and- ...six?” She stopped. Shrugged. “Eh. Doesn’t matter. The point is that we’ve been together for so long and I never once took the time to really look at this artifact. Which is weird, since I do sorta rely on it to protect you.” It was only then did Bonnibel realize that the demon’s eyes had dilated. They stayed that way even after she met her princess’s gaze. “But, like I was saying. I win either way. Case in point,” with slow, deliberate movements she took the candy monarch’s free, uninjured hand. “One day, Bonnie, you’re going to be ready.” Grey talons delicately uncurled a pink fist. “And when that day comes,” the blue gem was nestled in the open palm, “I want this back.” Lady Abadeer curled the fingers once more and pushed the hand, gem and all, back towards its owner.

Bonnibel was struck silent. As if to assure herself it was real she ran her thumb over the familiar jewel, but, yup, it was real alright. It was several moments longer before she thought of something both meaningful and coherent. “...You were listening to me. When I told the boys about my dream.”

“I spy on everyone.”

“So you know that if I gave you this-”

“Like I said, BonBon: I win no matter what I do. No big ‘d’.”

“...No big ‘d’.” Even Bubblegum wasn’t sure if she was asking a question, making a statement, disagreeing, or agreeing. It was too much to deal with. “And your shard?”

“Hey, don’t worry, Bon. I didn’t forget. You get that, too. Deal’s a deal-”

Jake raised his paw. “Hey, that reminds me. How do we even get your piece of the soul if you can’t-” 

A grey talon tapped the amulet. He paused, but when she didn’t say anything he continued. “If you can’t-” She tapped the amulet again, and once more he politely stopped, inviting her to continue. She didn’t. “If you can’t-”

*taptaptaptaptaptap*

“Dude, that’s so annoy- ...Wait.” Her lop-sided grin finally returned, the perfect match the playfulness in her eyes. “Your amulet?  _ That’s  _ your soulshard?!”

“Nothing gets by you,” she repeated.

“But-”

“Look, guy, I keep telling you. Life lesson here, people only see what they expect to see. You expected to see an amulet, so you saw an amulet.”

“So… we can take it off?”

“Well, you can’t. I can. See?” 

Fully aware that Finn was gathering the twin pieces of the demon blood sword Lady Evil kept her movements visible and slow as she reached up to her neck, over the remainder of her tie. When she slid it off Jake gulped and the young scientist felt fleeting sympathy at the sight before her. The sight of the amulet fused to her throat as if it were grafted, the chain adhered on; were it not gold and her skin not grey it would be impossible to tell where one began and the other ended. She reached out slowly, touching the amulet as Lady Evil observed, humor having dropped as warm fingertips gently grazed it. “So it’s… part of you? Like, literally?”

“Yup. I can take it off, but you can’t.”

“If you took it off, could you die?”

“Theoretically? Dunno, never tried. Probs though.” She paused. “Now I’m curious.” 

As her talon reached for her throat, and as Bubblegum crushed back the nausea associated with the memory of her lover clawing her throat out with those same claws, the Unifier called, “wait!” 

The claw fell away. “Yes?”

“Please tell me you’re wearing actual clothing under the amulet.”

Now the humor was back in a the form of a delightful cackle. “Oh, right, because my being nude would be such an unpleasant sight for…,” she made a grand show of counting heads, “...sixty to eighty percent of the people in this group.” As Finn counted off the group on his fingers Jake smacked his forehead with his paw. 

“You know what, fair enough.” 

Finn finally caught on and blushed deeply at the implication, his brother offering a reassuring pat on the back. Permission seemingly granted Lady Evil carefully removed her amulet.

She was, in fact, wearing clothing under her suit, and against her better judgment Bonnibel could only smile, because while her light blue pants weren’t of interest her shirt was. After all, it was a shirt she herself once considered her most cherished possession, a rock band memento that became a night shirt, an object of comfort on nights that would otherwise be only filled with longing and nostalgia. Out of old habit Bonnibel gently grasped the edge of the fabric, feeling the ancient stitching smooth over her thumb. Even the small knicks in the fabric were there, evidence of way back in the day when the two were still so new to one another and so eager to explore. Those tiny tears from before Marceline had learned to control herself when they were alone, the frayed threads that the princess stitched and restitched. Even the graphic was lightly faded, a side effect of a joke the vampire had once made that if the younger woman stopped washing the clothing it would never stop smelling like her.

“Like I said. I’m attracted to sentiment.”

The amulet was dropped in the awaiting palm.

“Thank you, Marceline.”

“You know the deal, BonBon.” The same smile she always gave her, the one she never offered to Finn or Jake. 

Bonnibel nodded. “I do. I’ll keep to it, as soon as you recover.”

“Fair enough. Probably not gonna be much use to you until our brain’s in one piece again.”

“I’d prefer to think of it in terms of me caring about you as an individual and not wanting to see you suffer, especially because it was both indirectly and directly caused by me.”

Lady Evil choked on her own laughter. “Dude, I take it back. You  _ are  _ a squishy little marshmallow now.” Bonnibel wrapped her hand around the amulet, wondering if it felt heavier than her crown.  _ You’re not wrong, Marceline. But only for you.  _ Without bothering to confirm or deny the teasing allegation the shorter woman returned to her vampire. Unlike Lady Abadeer the Unifier was healing, but slowly.  _ She must be so exhausted. And it’s about to get even worse. _

“Hey, quick question.”

“Yes, Jake?”

“When Marce absorbs that… what happens?”

“Then she’ll have all of us in her and she can leave. I thought that was the point of us fighting to the death for realsies. Or… True Death. Whatevs, you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, but like… is the world gonna collapse? Like, she eats your part of the soul and everything supporting this plays falls apart like-” his paws slammed together and the demon rubbed her temples. 

“No, Jake. This still isn’t a video game. She has to elect to leave for all of this to reset.”

The Unifier, whose hand had been hovering over the amulet, stopped. “...How do I leave?”

“Same way you came in.”

The Unifier felt every inclination to snarl but had no energy left for such an action. “Dude, I just kicked your butt. Could you stop being cryptic for like two minutes-”

“Probably, but I won’t.”

The vampire’s eyes slitted, but Finn’s hand on her shoulder stayed her. Bubblegum glared at her. “Marceline, don’t be a butt.”

“But I’m so good at it.”

“You’re not helping.”

“That’s a matter of perspective. But, whatevs, sure. I’m a merciful demon, so I’ll answer your question with a question of my own. All the places in the world, Unifier, all the time in the world. We’ve been down here for decades. What’s the one place you could never go? That  _ none  _ of us could ever go?” 

She knew immediately. It was the only thing that made sense, after all. “The cabin.”

“Like I said. You go out the same way you came in. We were reborn there once, we’ll be reborn there again. Brains are weird like that. Symbolic and junk.” 

A memory stirred in Finn. “But the Usurper called it ‘Bonnie’s House of Horrors’?”

“Eh, I’m not surprised. It’s not a comfortable place to be, since it’s the gateway between our worlds. It feels a lot like it’s judging you. We didn’t exactly come here under great circumstances, so you think  _ being  _ here sucks? I don’t envy you trying to leave. But yeah. Eat my chunk of the soul, go to the cabin, leave. Do it in that order, don’t do it in that order, whatevs. Freedom of choice is a very important facet of life,” she nodded solemnly. “Ah, but, before you go. I want my sword. Demon blood belongs in a demon, after all, and in case you haven’t noticed I’m not doing so great.”

No one had wanted to draw attention to it, but Lady Abadeer was correct. Her eyes were dilated but glassy, and how she was still standing was a mystery. Her claw was twitching and despite the overt sarcasm she had begun to speak quieter throughout the course of the conversation, her breath shallow. Whatever wound the Unifier’s void form had inflicted to her section of the mind was beginning to fester, and if it was actually beginning to show it was anyone’s guess how bad it must actually be. For all of his animosity towards her, Finn’s pensive expression turned concerned. “Hey, Abadeer… what happens after we leave? Like, to you?”

“No idea, Finn. Never happened before.”

“I mean…” He drummed his fingers on the hilt of the broken sword. “When we took the shards from the other you’s they died. Will absorbing yours kill you too?”

“Like I said, no idea. Why?”

Jake saw where this was headed. “You worried about her, dude?”

“Yeah, man. It stinks but… she’s right. She’s still a part of Marce, and we can’t just abandon her because we don’t like her. That’s not right.”

“You want me to join the others,” she mused, glancing briefly towards the sword before returning to him. “Well, I gotta say, Finn, you’re a pretty entertaining kid. You want good to destroy evil? Well, you’re the good-iest person I’ve ever met.”

He grew horrified as he realized the implication. “Dude, ladybro, Baddie, whatevs! I’m not gonna kill-”

“Eh, maybe it won’t come to it. Maybe absorbing my shard will just kill me anyway. Who knows? But I’ll give you guys three pieces of advice before you suck me dry.” She ignored Jake’s giggle. “One,” a talon, “I’d open the portal to the cabin now, since I doubt you’re gonna feel much like it after you absorb my shard. Two,” a second talon, “you don’t get to be whole until you leave, so if you want one you get the other. Last thing, though?” Rather than lift a third talon she dropped her claw. “ _ You  _ have to be the one to open the door. It won’t open for them. You gotta be the one who decides to leave.”

The Unifier waited for some sarcastic comment, some wise crack or insult, but none followed. Instead Lady Evil watched her thoughtfully, expectantly, dashing her expectations. “...Alright. Sounds good.” She waited, either expecting more or just stalling in her reluctance now that the moment of truth was upon her. A reassuring metallic hand on her shoulder cemented in her mind that she couldn’t avoid the inevitable forever. Refusing to look at any of her friends, or even her doomed-self, she reached out a claw, exactly as Rechte taught her. Even then she expected some sarcastic remark from Lady Evil, but the embodiment of Despair only watched. The Unifier closed her eyes, concentrating, trying to separate the slips of reality from one another, not knowing what the cabin would feel like-

Her nail caught on a tiny fragment, a fragment that seemed to seek her out. It was warm, the way she remembered the sun when she had been de-vamped and it was no longer the Ball of Death. Comforting. It triggered happy memories, unexpected but not unwelcome: waking up in Bonnibel’s arms, having friends at her side to fight her ancient enemies. The food she had eaten for the first time in a thousand years, the feeling of her heart beat. There were so many memories crammed into such a short period of time, but as much as she was enjoying them she knew it was time to go. With breath to steady her nerves she tore a hole in the fabric of reality, stepping back once she was sure it wasn’t going anywhere. Feeling an unexpected sense of pride she glanced over her shoulder at Lady Abadeer. “Are you coming with us? I could absorb you at-”

“No. The Nightosphere is my domain and I have no intention of leaving it. Please collect your belongings and absorb my soul, preferably in that order so nothing is left behind. Preferably  _ before _ my mind rots, courtesy of your little stunt.” Though no one wanted to draw attention to it either the evidence that the void demon’s mental disturbance was affecting her was becoming clearer: her voice, forever arrogant as it was, was softer, her eyes still dilated. She was growing increasingly unsteady on her feet, though Finn supposed that could easily have been from the demon blood sword shard. Regardless, she was leaning on her axe more than not, and she hadn’t bothered to fix any of the other wounds. He thought he should say something, but Jake pulled his elbow, dragging him off to assist in gathering his backpack, the stake, the dagger. “While you’re doing that…” With great care she kneeled next to the remains of the demon blood sword. “I’m taking my payment.” 

Her talon tapped the sword proper, and all at once the weapon dematerialized, devolving into a fine mist that was absorbed through the Baddie’s skin. When she proved unable to remove the shard from her thigh Bonnibel gave a reassuring squeeze to the Unifier’s wrist before returning to the Baddie. She didn’t need to explain why. “Ready, Marcy?” 

Her smile was almost appreciative. “Aren’t I always?”  _ Yes. You are.  _

Minding the shard’s impossibly sharp edges the princess carefully plucked the shard from Jake, holding it out for the demon as if it were an offering. Lady Abadeer hesitated before accepting the shard, almost admiring it. From afar, of course. Once that was absorbed as well she sighed in relief, standing slowly. “There. Much better.” Jake squinted at her and she snickered. “Like I said, guy. Belongs in the body of a demon, and I’m the alpha.”

“I think Unifier just proved  _ she’s  _ the alpha.”

“Eh. She can be the alpha half-demon.  _ I’m  _ the one and only alpha demon.”

“...I’ll buy it,” he shrugged. “Probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said. Anyways, you read-” He turned to the Unifier, who was staring at the soulshard in her hand blankly. “Uh… you okay, Marce?” 

She didn’t respond, lost in her own world, only returning when a pink hand covered her own. “It’s time to go home.” 

The Unifier hesitated before her hand closed around it, and she looked upon Lady Abadeer one last time. “Survival game, huh?” The demon didn’t respond, except with a crooked grin. “...Alright. Well played, wad.” The Baddie bowed one last time, closing her eyes as the vessel absorbed the amulet, cementing its place within her. The moment it was fully consumed the demon immolated, causing Jake to yelp in a most undignified matter. Within moments both she and her bass were gone and the Unifier collapsed into Bubblegum’s ready and waiting arms. 

The younger woman pulled her closer, hand cupping her cheek. “Marcy? Can you hear me?,” she asked softly. A quiet whimper was the only reply, the musician’s body wracked with pained shuddering.  _ It’s even worse this time. I don’t know how long I can support- oh!  _ “Can you turn into a little bat for me? Please?” It was the same gentle tone, once so foreign to the princess. At first the queen gave no indication that she heard her, but after warm fingers brushed over her temple she managed to fulfill her request, still shuddering in pain as her body curled against the sensation of her soul once more rearranging itself. Bonnibel pulled her closer, stroking her soft fur. “Shh… it’s just like before, Marcy,” she soothed. “If you fight her it’ll just hurt more. I know it’s hard, but if you let it happen it’ll be all over so quickly, then we can go home.” One garnet eye opened, watching her. When it slid shut she fell still, curling once more against the younger woman and her delightful warmth, oblivious to the kind smile she received. Once Bonnibel was sure the Unifier was unconscious she looked up. “Alright, boys. I think it’s best we just head to the cabin. Let her rest.” Her gallant champions needed no convincing; as exhausted as they were from the journey they could only imagine what their friend was going through. Finn watched her sadly.  _ And it’s just gonna get harder. She’s still gotta go back to Ooo and heal. Don’t worry, Marce. Your bros are here. We got ya. _

Jake pocketed his stake and packed the silver dagger in Finn’s bag, and after one last glance to make sure both his brother and royal were set, dove through the portal, immensely relieved to see that the Unifier had managed to drop them off within sight of the demi-Structure. By the time he turned to check their status his friends had joined him, visibly just as relieved as he was. Without bothering to ask for input the dog grinned, once more growing and stretching himself to twenty times his normal size, carefully scooping up his brother and princess, who clutched the vampire as if for dear life. After all this time, maybe it was. After one last visual confirmation of their location Jake set off, stretching his mouth and ear behind him to join the rest of the group. “How’s she doing?”

Bonnibel stroked her ear, down to her soft wing. “Marcy? Can you hear me?” At first she gave no indication she could, but when she heard the jacket’s zipper and felt the warmth of her mate as she cuddled against her a single garnet eye peaked open. Finn’s grin, the first thing she saw, was a welcomed sight, but she was in no mood to appreciate it: pain was her world, her body ached, even her fur was sensitive, and she was bordering on a migraine. Just for the feel of it she breathed, just so she could have some control over something her body was doing. She blinked sleepily, then closed her eyes once more. It did nothing to stop Finn’s enthusiasm. “How ya feeling, Marce?” 

Her voice was muffled from the jacket, but she was warm now, and it felt amazing against her sore everything and so she didn’t care. “...I’m crazy tired, guys. I think I have been for a long time.” She certainly sounded the part, but one thing bothered Finn, and if he didn’t know now he doubted he would ever know.

“Hey Marce?”

The worry in his voice piqued her concern, and she opened an eye once more. “Mm?”

“I know you don’t…” A pause, because it was a loaded question. “When we first found you we wanted to know why that obelisk thingy wanted us or whoevs to ‘beware you’. You said you didn’t know, ‘cause you just live here. Since you’ve got all your pieces…?” He trailed off as she sighed, not answering until a warm, pink hand wrapped around her like a blanket. 

She turned to look at the landscape in pondrance. Not that she’d miss the place, but it was better than looking at her friend. She was just so tired. “Well… the wad’s a wad, but I think she was being honest about our biz. Like me being the first. I have everyone else in me, so I’m the last. So I guess… it’s because all of this world began as I began and it’ll end when I end. When I go back to Ooo and… stop being me.”

While the first part of that answer was what he largely expected, it was the second part that raised alarm bells. “When you stop being you?”

“I’m not whole, Finn. I’ve got all of me in me, but I’m not gonna be whole until I leave. Right now I’m still  _ me _ . Still the Unifier. Everyone else had to be sacrificed. So I guess… it’s my turn, huh?” 

Bonnibel didn’t like that tone of voice. It was too morose, and didn’t fit her at all.  _ It’s for the best, Marcy. But that’s not what you need to hear right now. Define your terms, Bubblegum. That’s what she needs.  _ “Are you going to miss this place?” 

To her relief, the bat shook its head. “No… not really, I guess. But this has been my world for I don’t even know how long, you know? Like a bajillion years.”

“Are you-”  _ don’t say afraid she’d never admit that  _ “-worried?”

“I guess,” she started, “it’s not like I really remember the place. Actual Ooo.” She pulled her wings around her.

“It’s your home. You just don’t remember that yet ‘cause your brain’s all whacked up. But that’s what you got us for! We’re not gonna just abandon you when we get back, you know. It’s gonna be large, though, you’ll see.” 

Bonnibel smiled, kissing the top of her head. “Yes. So very large. It’ll be a readjustment, but you’re the most resilient person I’ve ever met. You’ll have all the help you need.”  _ Even if you aren’t ready to admit you want it. _

“We’re here. Everyone off!” To his credit Jake did scoop the trio off of his back before dropping to his original size, but he was right. Before the four stood the cabin, the place of Tyrant’s death, where Finn, Jake, and the Unifier came within moments of biting it. She hesitated, but the Unifier dropped from Bubblegum’s arms, resuming her normal form. The half-demon was aware of her friends watching her eagerly from behind, but all of her attention was consumed by the inconspicuous wooden door. It had been a long time since she had first tried to go through; what she had never told the outsiders was that she had tried once, maybe a hundred years ago when she first arrived, not knowing its true purpose. She had only wanted something that reminded her of the woman she thought she lost forever, and it had caused so much pain when it rejected her that she had retreated to her cave and never left. But now it could fulfill her intended purpose, and she could fulfill her’s.

There was just one thing left to do.   
  
“Guys… can you give me a minute? I need to talk to Bonnie.”

Both brothers watched her obvious fatigue, heard her exhaustion, but knew that this was the moment of truth for the two and that it wasn’t their place to interrupt. For once they retreated without any intention of spying; all it took was one paw slammed on Finn’s back, and a cry of “IT!” for both to be gone. Even once they were out of earshot, far into the field, the Unifier didn’t move. Every piece of her shattered mind had its own opinion about what she was about to do. But after everything that happened she had her own opinion as well. The younger woman watched her deliberate, wanting to say something but knowing that it was out of her hands now.

“...You know she would have taken your kingdom, right?” Even she sounded uncertain, but Bonnibel wasn’t. 

“Yes. She was being honest. Her attachment to me didn’t extend so far that she would let me off with a warning, she’s certainly demonstrated that. I had no delusion otherwise.”

“...Why do it then? She was right. She’s part of me. You would have still had me even if I bit it.”

“She’s part of you, Marcy, but only part. I did this,” she gestured to the world around her, “to you, or at least acted as the catalyst. There are no excuses for my actions or behavior, and I don’t just mean the dagger. My kingdom is important to me, but you’re more important.” She watched the Unifier clenched her hand, wincing at the pain without interrupting. “You never cared about my role, or my power. You didn’t want ‘Princess Bubblegum’, you only wanted ‘Bonnibel’. Somewhere along the way I locked ‘Bonnibel’ away and just became ‘Princess Bubblegum’ full time, but you never gave up on me. You’re my best friend, Marcy.”

“Then why keep the dagger?” She had asked this question once before, but this time she sounded emotionally drained and the princess found herself missing the sting. 

“Rechte and I had a long talk about that. We… had a long talk about a lot of the things I did. But if I had to summarize I suppose I felt resentful of you in a way I never realized, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that you didn’t respect me. That… you were using me. And if you  _ were  _ using me you could turn on me at any time.”

“So the same junk you worry about everyone else doing to you.”

“Yes.”  _ Will it ever stop hurting to admit that?  _ “I should have known better. No… I  _ did  _ know better. I just… it was too gratifying to control the situation by controlling you, and I had a buttload of justifications for it. Your natural tendencies made it easy to justify, especially ignoring any and all context. I took advantage of it. Of you. I forgot how terrifying it was to almost lose you. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, Marceline.”

They fell silent, Bonnibel scarcely breathing, the Unifier as tense as she was fatigued. She sounded as much, at least. “When we get back to Ooo… did you ever plan on telling me? About the dagger and everything.”

“Yes. Immediately.” With pride she realized she was telling the truth. To her shock the Unifier nodded, reluctantly turning to face her. The vampire expected to feel vindicated at the sight of Bonnibel all but begging her not to abandon her, but to her own bafflement her own feelings were far from it. Her princess had dark rings under her eyes, her shoulders were sagging, and her eyes, the green eyes she had spent a collective hundreds of years staring into, were nowhere near as bright. It hurt to see her like this, and as much as she knew, objectively at least, Bonnibel had done this to herself heartgut emotions aren’t things that fade just because they become inconvenient.

It was uncomfortable, almost wrong, to see the candy woman like this. She was no longer in control of the situation, and if the Unifier wanted to be honest with herself she hadn’t been in a very long time. Bonnibel loathed any situation she wasn’t in control of, but she was willingly subjecting herself now, knowing it could very well be futile, that despite everything she was putting herself through the Unifier could still reject her. And to her second shock the vampire realized that as vindicated as she felt she didn’t  _ like  _ having that power over her. It wasn’t right, it wasn’t natural, it wasn’t what she wanted. Not really. She wanted the other woman to change, to recognize that her behavior was absolutely distasteful and make amends. That she felt that way now was undeniable. Whether she would feel that way in Ooo was a different matter entirely, but the Navigator’s logic, Rechte’s logic - her own logic now - rang in her mind.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you, Bon.” Her heart sank… “But…” ...and rose once more. “I’m not whole. I’ve still got all of us in here.” She looked down at her still heavily-damaged hands. “I don’t feel like me yet. So it’s gotta be like I’m a different person… and I think she doesn’t like being told what to do either. So I don’t know if I can forgive you… but I think Whole Me would wanna hear you out. We got a lot to talk about… but you gotta be honest. Or this will just happen again and again…” 

She trailed off, or was perhaps only interrupted by the shorter woman hugging her from behind. “Thank you, Marcy…” The embrace tightened as Bonnibel felt the weight of the world lift off of her heart. “As soon as you can… as soon as you want we’ll talk about everything. And then if you don’t want to forgive me I’ll understand. But thank you for giving me one last chance.”  _ It’s more than I deserve. Just like you. _

Rather than disengage, as the princess had expected, she hugged back, obviously mindful of her damaged hands before separating. She needed to look her mate in the eyes for what would come next. “You were willing to sacrifice your kingdom for me. The old Bonnie would never have done that for anything. So either you’re lying and you really had this weird delusion that the wad would have spared you or you changed.” She wrung her damaged hands, not disagreeing with the gentle ones pulling them apart. “I wanna say that you’re lying, and that you really had that weird thought about the wad… but I know you. I obvs don’t always know when you’re lying but I know when you’re bluffing, and you… weren’t. Not right now at least. It’s like… well, if you can change like that… then I guess I can’t really hold you to what you used to do without hearing your side, you know?” Her smile was weak.  _ No, not weak. Cautious. She’s still afraid of me, but she’s willing to try. Don’t blow this, Bubblegum. No one ever gets a second chance like this.  _

“Thank you, Marcy.” Her head rested on her chest, eyes closing to keep the relieved tears inside, only to have them spill when strong arms gently wrapped around her. She was obviously nervous, ready to pull away at any moment, but there nonetheless.  _ We won. We won, and now we’re going home. She’s going to be whole and I’ll make sure she recovers, no matter how long it takes. I’ll find a way to earn her forgiveness. I’ll find a way to make us okay. _ Her own grip tightened almost possessively, but the Unifier didn’t object, despite her clear tension. And that was how they stayed for several long minutes, unaware of the high-five exchanged in the distance.

When Finn and Jake returned they made as much noise as humanly and dogly possible, just to give the royals time to separate. Finn doubted they would want their private moment exposed to the world, even if the world was empty now. “You ready, Marce?” 

She pulled away from the princess, taking a deep breath before ceasing to breathe entirely. “...if I gotta.”

“Yeah, you gotta.” He beamed at her, doing nothing to repress it. Jake gave her two thumb’s up, which she knew to be his highest honor. 

“Lame.” Nevertheless, she placed her hand on the cool knob, gripping it slowly before pausing. That is, until she heard three friendly voices chanting her name behind her. Unable to resist she stifled a laugh. “Okay guys, I get the message. Stop being dweebs.”

With a calming breath the Unifier turned the knob and opened the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STATUS REPORT:
> 
> WINNER:
> 
> True Neutral
> 
>  
> 
> NOT WINNERS:
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Lawful Good


	25. The Door Marceline Opened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real talk: Guys! It's the last full chapter of Rehearsal! That's so sad for me! Even sadder than the last chapter being the second-to-last full chapter of Rehearsal!
> 
> I seriously want to thank you all for being there, for reading my work and giving me so much feedback and love. I've said it before that I consider myself an insecure writer, and while Rehearsal would have been finished in any case (I don't start stories I don't intend to finish), it never would have happened as quickly as it did without you guys. Your comments have made my days and weeks. I hope you like the ending, and make sure you stay tuned because... well, you'll see when you get to the end of the chapter.
> 
> Content Warnings:
> 
> Science!  
> Light Mental Health Thing  
> Father-Daughter Talk  
> Light Description of An Old Wound  
> Feels  
> Fluff

**** Pain.

Pain was her world. It flowed through her veins, electrified every nerve, pierced every cell. She was blind to everything else. There was nothing else. It was so unlike anything she had ever experienced in her centuries of Unlife. She had felt her blood seep from her body thousands of times, experienced her flesh splitting at the seams, but this was new. It was the sensation of being Only Sort of There. It was the feeling of bone-deep exhaustion. She was so tired. Why was she so tired? She didn’t know, and dwelling on it was too much energy. Her thoughts felt muffled. There were voices, but they were muffled as well. She couldn’t tell if they were friend or foe, or even how close they were. She was too focused on trying to clear the haze in her brain, behind her eyes. It was like drowning, if she knew what that was in anything except theory. She understood the general concept, though, and it seemed applicable.

Everything was pain. Well, perhaps not  _ literally  _ everything, but it was everything for her so, yeah, good enough. Her skin burned. Her muscles ached. Her throat- well, she didn’t even want to know what was going on with that. Nothing good, but she couldn’t remember how to make her body tell her what was wrong, let alone how to fix it. It was too fatigued, like a heavy weight was bringing it down and making it impossible to move, and though she would later claim otherwise she wasn’t exactly trying that hard. It was unnerving, feeling out of control of your own capacity to move, but wherever she was it was warm. It was soft. She liked things warm and soft because, contrary to popular belief, vampires could indeed feel temperature differences, their nerves were just bad at it. You know. Being corpses and all.

Sound was slowly beginning to return to her, just snippets of speech from the disembodied voices around her that seemed to have absolutely no problem remaining conscious. She envied them.

“-dude, you totes flipped-”

“-forgot she was wearing that coat, man! She looks just like-”

“-probs did that on purpose just to mess with us. She was such a dillwe-”

“Marcy? Can you hear me?”

That voice she’d know anywhere, and it snapped what little consciousness she had floating around to the forefront of her mind. Yes, she could hear that voice. It graced her dreams and haunted her nightmares. It was her most profound source of comfort, it was her greatest weakness. She felt something warm on her cheek, something she belatedly realized was a pink palm.

“Marcy?”

With more effort than she would ever admit she creaked one eye open, just a sliver. Just enough to see the piercing green eyes of everything pink and perfect watching over her.

“...Bon?”

She grimaced. Yes, something was definitely wrong with her throat, and her thoughts were still so jumbled that just the act of opening a single eye cursed her with an onslaught of dizziness. And a headache. A bad one. But her whisper was evidently loud enough, because at least two of the voices surrounding her were now cheering loudly, shouting something her brain assured her was nonsense. She hissed at the sudden volume increase, and when she felt the warm hand leave her cheek to lightly cover her ear she was thankful.

“Guys.”

Bonnibel Bubblegum never needed to shout to give a proper warning, and the raucous immediately died down.   
  
“Oh, sorry Marce!”

“Yeah, we were doughnuts. Our bad!”

Now that they were no longer the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard those voices sounded familiar, but she didn’t have it in her to dare open her eye again just to make sure she was right. She didn’t have it in her to do any of the things she wanted to do: talk, figure out where she was, touch her throat to physically assess the damage, or move in any way, shape or form, just to name a few of her previously enjoyed activities. When she felt a second warm arm, this one wrapping around her waist, she relaxed and stopped trying. Now the hand over her ear moved once more, stroking her hair.

“There we are. Nice and quiet. Nice and calm.”

Well, the first part of that was accurate anyway. Bonnibel’s warning - and what Marceline assumed had to be a very intimidating glare - had driven the two voices into hushed whispers, but the vampire’s thoughts were shaken. It was hard to focus on any one thing because it felt too much like both Being and Not Being at the same time, and the more she tried to make any sense of the world on the other side of her eyelids the more her head hurt. Even that mere recognition caused her to instinctively curl inward, only relaxing once more when the arm around her waist tightened protectively. Her mind was scrambled, her thoughts runny, and nothing made sense.

“Shh…,” Bonnibel murmured, “just rest, Marcy. You need it.”

Something in the younger woman’s voice was off when she said that, but pondering that hurt just as much as pondering anything else, and it was just the epitome of frustration. Apparently her dissatisfaction was visible, because a warm hand laced fingers with her own, a silent signal of reassurance. “It’s alright, Marcy. You’re safe now. You’ll be okay.”  _...I’ll… be okay? Safe? Wha?  _ But Marceline had no strength to voice that thought, or comprehend why she was so elated that she could hear herself think. She let herself melt into the warmth, drifting off into something only a little unlike sleep, ignorant of her lover’s look of adoration. Finn and Jake politely pretended not to see her tears of relief.

When the trio of outsiders finally returned to the real world they had three different reactions. Jake had been the first to come to, and promptly screamed the most girlish of all screams at the sight of his grievously injured friend, realizing far too late that she  _ wasn’t  _ the Usurper, the Baddie had simply assumed that outfit and hairstyle when she manifested within the ruined mindscape. Jake’s manly screech roused Finn, who wasted absolutely no time in assuring his brother that he would never live his hysteria down. By the time Jake was thoroughly indignant Bonnibel was awake and already doting on Marceline. A still-unconscious Marceline. Finn paled at that realization.  _...Oh no. What if she couldn’t get out? What if- Oh man! The time difference! What if she’s still stuck! What if- _

“Finn, calm down. She’s as alive as she gets. She’s breathing.”

Finn stopped hyperventilating, unaware he had even begun. “So… she’s okay?”

Bonnibel didn’t even make an attempt to tear her gaze away from her mate, not that anyone actually expected her to. “We won’t know the full range of her damage until she’s awake, but she wouldn’t begin breathing on her own unless she was beginning to regain consciousness.” 

Finn nodded thoughtfully. That made sense. Except… it didn’t. Marceline was a vampire, a creature of the undead, and in his years of knowing the woman Finn had never heard her breathe, unless she did so to talk or sing or steady her nerves. This wasn’t the first time Bubblegum had made such a declaration either, which had to mean there was an established pattern of behavior being referenced, something he wasn’t privy to, a context he didn’t understand. And so he nodded thoughtfully. Then, “...Why?”

The princess absently ran her fingers down Marceline’s neck, stopping just short of the clawed area. She wasn’t sure how long exactly they had been gone, but it wasn’t long enough for the semi-dried dark blood to begin flaking off naturally and as such the extent of Marceline’s throat’s damage was still a mystery, not able to be solved without potentially hurting her more. It was better to focus on Finn than to focus on that train of thought. “She’s undead. Breathing isn’t something she naturally does, just as her heart doesn’t beat of its own accord.” 

An evasion. A poor one. That wasn’t what he meant and she knew it. “Then… why does she breathe?” She tensed and the young hero began to suspect he had wandered into something personal. “You… said it was a ‘comfort behavior’, right? So… yeah, I don’t actually know what that means.” 

When he trailed off sheepishly Bonnibel smiled lightly. Even without looking at him she knew the face he must have been making that moment, the same one he always made when something she found so trivial befuddled him. But Marceline still wasn’t waking up yet, and as reassuring as her respiration was she welcomed the distraction. “A comfort behavior is a type of maintenance behavior. They help maintain the physical comfort of a creature, and are the prerequisite to self-soothing behaviors.” She traced the shell of a sensitive ear, smiling softly when she felt it twitch in response. “Marceline breathes for two reasons. The first is to assert some sort of control over her body, to help her focus on whatevs.”

“Like healing?”

She nodded. “Yeah, healing is the usual reason. Like when your leg falls asleep and once it wakes up you wiggle it around, just because you can.” 

When she didn’t volunteer the second reason, Finn took the gamble- “...So what’s-”

“For my benefit.”

Prior to the commencement of their journey such a claim would have baffled Finn, but now he knew better. He had seen first hand how close the two were, how their histories enweaved. He had not only seen sides of his vampiric friend he knew she would never under any normal circumstance want him to see, he saw how those sides reacted to his monarch, how his monarch had reacted to those pieces of her. After everything, however long they really had been gone, Finn understood immediately. “So that you don’t worry?” She nodded once more, but paused before speaking, clearly weighing what exactly she wanted to share.  _ Satisfying this curiosity may help us when we return to Ooo. More importantly, though… I owe him and Jake more than I can repay.  _ Such a curiosity seemed a pittance by comparison. “I’ve grown accustomed to seeing Marceline get hurt over the past several centuries, but she still surprises me and it isn’t pleasant in any capacity. I know she can reattach missing limbs because I’ve watched her do it. I’ve watched her regrow organs, and her pain tolerance is nothing short of miraculous. But you have to understand, Finn, I’ve  _ seen  _ her do it. It never stops being scary, but it was worse when we first met.

“The first time I saw her take what should have been a fatal wound her skull caved in.” She shuddered at the memory, pulling the older woman just a hair closer. “I was terrified. She had always been adamant that only four things could gank a vampire, and I accepted it until then strictly in terms of academics. You know. Just for the knowledge, because I had never entertained the idea that something could actually legit kill her. Knowing was just like… a formality. But when I saw her collapse…” Bonnibel swallowed down the bile elicited from that memory. “I mean… she was the only vampire left. She ganked all of the others. What if she was wrong? It’s not like the Vampire King left her a how-to manual! And it’s not like I’d even know if she was healing, since she doesn’t possess vital lifesigns! She could be in a coma for literally ever for all I knew! And… there’d be nothing I could do about it...”

“So you just wanted to know if she was okay?”

She sighed, shaking herself free from the memory. “Waiting for her to heal was agony, and when she did I was livid with her because she had been reckless and thoughtless and... In hindsight I realized that the injury wasn’t her fault.”

“So she got mad that you flipped for something she couldn’t stop?”

To his surprise, she shook her head. “No, actually. She said she’d wig out too if our situations were reversed. So she promised she’d find a way to let me know that she’s alright, or at least that she’s making progress to being alright, so that I wouldn’t worry as much. Now whenever she sustains catastrophic damage she’ll breathe…”

“...Just so you know she’s on her way back.” When she didn’t deny it Finn smiled, shifting his gaze from Bonnibel, to Marceline, then back to Bonnibel.  _ So now I know Marce has a secret hero side and you have a secret squishy-heartguts side that you didn’t even know about. One day when she’s better this’ll all be a funny story-  _ He stopped. As entertaining as that idea was his friend was still badly hurt, and it wasn’t time to celebrate yet. They still had to make sure she woke up. Then the real work would begin back in Ooo.  _ That reminds me…  _ He turned, ready to ask Hunson his super-important question, but the demon had disappeared. Finn disliked when demons disappeared without his okay, and he turned to his brother as the dog joined him. Together they kneeled a respectable distance from the royal couple, and though Jake would deny it for the rest of his life Finn could have sworn he saw a little tail wag when the older hero caught the sound of a half-demon softly breathing. “Uh… Jake? Where’s Hunson?” 

Jake cocked his thumb towards the office door. “Abadeer went to go get Marce’s room ready.” 

Bonnibel’s grip tightened at the implication that her lover would not be returning to Ooo with her right then and there, then relaxed when she allowed logic to win out. “...That’s for the best. She should at least rest until she can remain awake for an extended period of time. It isn’t safe for her to travel anywhere like this, let alone through a wormhole out of a pocket dimension.”  _ Not that I’m leaving her here alone, of course. I’m not leaving her period. Unless she wants me to. But until she says that I’m going to assume she doesn’t. Unless-  _ Her thoughts were turning toxic, and clearing her throat helped clear her mind. “That reminds me. Did Pep-But go with him?” 

Jake nodded. “Yeah, want me to grab him?”

“Yes, please do. And Finn, I need your notebook and pen.” 

By the time Jake was out the door Finn was opening his backpack, blinking hard when he realized why its contents seemed so radically different all of a sudden.  _ Oh, right! Most of the junk I had in Marce’s mind were actually figments of it. So that means…  _ The notebook was still blank, but he was missing one key ingredient. “Uh… Preebs? I can’t find the pen.”

She didn’t even look up. “It’s still one of your components, Finn. I… detached it from your arm in her mind, not the real world.”

“...Oh. I knew that.” This time when the pen was removed it was on his terms. It was also snatched from him so quickly he was surprised the pink woman didn’t take his fingers with it. Without acknowledging his recoil Bonnibel quickly scrawled across two separate pieces of paper, too engrossed to even register her esteemed butler’s return. By his expression this did not seem unusual. “Yes, Your Majesty?” 

In lieu of a legitimate acknowledgement she only mumbled to herself. This did not deter him, but before he could press her once more she abruptly stopped writing, tearing two pages of the notebook out. “Pep, is the portal to my lab still open?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Good. I need you to do something for me, okay?” He didn’t need to vocalize that it was. He had been her servant for hundreds of years, was one of the first to know of her romantic entanglement. He was hardly Marceline Abadeer’s biggest fan - and with just cause, he had known her his entire life and she had never once  _ not  _ been a scoundrel - but he wasn’t a callous mint; the vampire was wounded, probably would be for a long time, and his mistress was barely keeping it together, no matter how confident Finn and Jake were in her composure. There was only one appropriate response to her question:

“Of course, Your Highness. What do you need?”

And just like that, the tension in her face eased. Bonnibel wasn’t stupid. Quite the contrary, she was possibly the smartest woman alive, dead, or anything in between, and she knew her rockstar and her most faithful servant didn’t enjoy one another’s existence; on more than one occasion she’d caught Marceline trying to eat him, usually before or after he attempted to chase her off the castle balcony with a broom. He had been quite vocal that Bonnibel could do better, that there were plenty of potential suitors - of any gender - out there just waiting and willing and happy to kill just for the chance to woo her so, really, why did she have to pick  _ this one _ ? If there were ever a time to be obstinate about her choice in romantic entanglements it would be now, when her lover was at her weakest, when Bonnibel was covered in her blood. But she knew Peppermint Butler, literally made him with her own two hands, and right now her servant looked nothing short of determined, ready and willing to perform whatever task his monarch required of him. No matter how objectionable he found it.

Her smile was appreciative in a way only he would understand. “I need you to do two things for me. First, take this,” her gaze temporarily dropped to her messenger bag, “to my lab. Remove its… contents, leave them on my desk. On the first note I’ve indicated some materials I have in my lab already, but I’ll need you to gather them for me. You can just put them on my desk as well. It’ll save me some time.” Her eyes trailed involuntarily to Marceline, but she didn’t need to say anything. He got it. 

“And the second note?” 

She looked back to him. “After you’ve… emptied my bag I have a list of things I need you to fill it with, then bring it back here-” She was beginning to ramble and he wouldn’t allow her to waste her remaining energy with trying to tell him how to do his job. With as much respect as he could he took the offered notes and carefully took custody of the bag.

“At once, Your Majesty. Back in a bit.” And then he was gone, and it was just the four alone again.

Bonnibel stared after the portal, silently thanking her oldest non-undead friend before turning back to her oldest undead one. She still had not regained consciousness, but she was still breathing and every so often a part of her twitched in what she recognized as a hypnic jerk, and the princess hoped it was a sign that she was just resting. Bubblegum was so focused on willing her to wake up that she didn’t know the older demon return to his office, not until the moment he was at her side. “Her room is all set, so let me-” He had said it calmly, passively, politely, but it drove the point home for the candy scientist that she would have to leave her lover behind, albeit it temporarily. When he approached she subconsciously tensed, pulling Marceline closer, not quite glaring at him, but not quite happy to see him either. He blinked at the sudden change in disposition; just before she had left Bonnibel had been shaken, heartbroken to be sure, but, all things considered, rather composed. Certainly not with the possessive grasp she was wielding now. Or was that protective? Hunson turned to Finn and Jake only to find them shaking their heads frantically, a silent plea to not separate them. He frowned and looked back to his daughter, his poor, grievously injured child, the only family he had left. And then to her courtier.

He wasn’t exactly pleased with that second one, but he knew that look, that posture. The strain in her eyes, the tension, the clenched jaw. The way her hands were possessive claws while her embrace was purely protective. Though she herself hadn’t moved from her original position, the one adopted when she had first entered his daughter’s mind, she had taken great care to adjust the vampire carefully, more concerned with her comfort than her own. He sighed in resignation, because he knew that look, that posture. He himself had adopted both when  _ he  _ needed to protect  _ his  _ mate, when he had come close to losing her, when he truly realized, had been forced to confront the fact that unlike himself she was mortal, their time together so fleeting. His mate was gone now, but she had left him a child, a daughter who discovered her own mate. Yes, he wasn’t exactly pleased to see Bonnibel, not after what she did to Marceline, but Hunson Abadeer was hardly a fool and his daughter was just as much demon as him, no matter what she claimed, and she had no more choice in who her soul had chosen than he had. 

Something was different now, off about the princess in a way he couldn’t immediately place, but it was something he regarded as positive. He itched to taste her soul, know what changed exactly, but it was clear enough that the candy golem wasn’t going to do anything she thought was going to result in Marceline’s harm. Not again. She looked too focused on her care, too obsessed with making her comfortable, and he was beginning to suspect that in this state of mind she would be willing to try to fight even the Lord of Evil himself if she thought it was necessary. Perhaps he’d make a demon of her yet, figuratively speaking. He might not like her all that much at the moment, but how could he separate them?

Instead he kneeled next to the pair, glancing briefly to the princess to acknowledge her before focusing on the half-demon. “Hey little monster. Can you hear me?” Unsurprisingly, she did not respond and he sighed, turning to formally address the young scientist. “What happened in there?” 

Bubblegum sighed, trying to push her exhaustion away, allowing guilt to fill the void anew. “Pep was right. It broke her mind. Shattered her into different components of her psyche.” A thought suddenly struck her. “How long were we gone?” 

He grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, a very familiar gesture. “Oh, I wasn’t really timing you. An hour? Maybe a little more?” 

She gaped at him, waiting for some kind of jest, but none came and so she turned back to Marceline, stroking her cheek. “...I see.. That’s… quite a time difference then.” He raised an eyebrow. “While I cannot say for sure how long we were gone in subjective time it was for at least a week. It wasn’t easy, especially for her. Putting her back together I mean. ...For her, I mean. If her commentary when we found her is at all accurate her subjective experience… well, I suppose it would mean that to her she was trapped for the better part of a hundred years. I’m… well,  _ we’re _ concerned about the long-term detriments of such a profound lapse in time.” Once more she rambled, but at least this time it was informative. She praised herself for that small victory.

He frowned, but his expression was unreadable. “Once she’s feeling better I want to know more about what happened, but I think we can both agree her recovery is more important.” She nodded, but eyed him skeptically.  _ You were so angry with me before. What changed? Did something change?  _ Whatever it was, it was to her benefit, and that was all she cared about. When he reached out to take his daughter’s hand Bonnibel misunderstood the intention, gently pulling her closer. To her confusion he chuckled softly, and when he spoke she belatedly realized he wasn’t talking to her. “Look at you, little monster. You found yourself a very protective mate. Won’t even let me talk to my cool daughter.” He chuckled, stroking her cheek. “Your mother would be proud.” Against her better judgment Bonnibel flushed an interesting shade of red at the compliment she now knew was a compliment, but didn’t interrupt. This conversation was private, even if she was literally right in the middle of it.  _ He… called me her mate. Her mother… would be proud?  _ This was a loaded conversation, and her fatigued, overworked mind couldn’t make sense of it. For the first time she decided not to bother.  _ Just flow it, right Marcy? _

She had spaced through the latter part of his one-man conversation, but snapped back to attention when he pulled back, forcing her to turn. “Her neck is starting to heal, but…” 

Doing her best to not jostle the sleeping woman too much she craned her neck to get a better look at the wound. The good news was that the blood had dried and was beginning to flake, exposing just enough of the gash for her to get a better idea as to its condition. The bad news was that the condition wasn’t great; the wound itself had closed, but a silver line ran along her neck, a large discoloration at the base of her throat. “Can… the amulet leave a scar?” He didn’t reply and she chose not to push the issue. It would certainly explain her discomfort when trying to speak.  _ She… must be in so much pain.  _ She knew what had to happen, and with a deep breath- “I… think it’s best we take her to her room and allow her to rest. I can’t imagine the floor is very comfortable for her.” 

Hunson nodded, slowly, carefully, gingerly taking custody of his child from Bonnibel, lifting her with grace and ease and allowing the stained coat to drop to the floor. “Alright, little monster. Let’s get you comfortable so you can go back to telling me how lame I am.” He turned, then stopped, looking over his shoulder. “Do you know where her room is?” Bonnibel blinked, immediately understanding the subtext of that question. Of what she was being offered. “No, I’m afraid not. Would you show me?”

“Right down the hall. Can’t miss it!” And then he was gone, taking her happiness with him.

Bubblegum sighed, standing as quickly as her numb legs would allow her. Finn watched Hunson leave, then offered her a smile equal parts encouragement and sad, as well as an arm to help her stand. “You’re doing the right thing, PB. And hey, we don’t need to leave right now! We can totes wait for Marce to wake up. Ooo’s not going anywhere.” They both turned to Jake, expecting him to argue, ready to fight back his inevitable claims that the group should leave the Nightosphere  _ right now _ . But he didn’t. 

He blinked. “What?” They stared and he blinked once more. “What?,” he repeated. 

“I dunno. Usually this is when you complain about junk.”

“What? Me? No way, bro. You got me confused with someone less awesome.”

“Yeah, but… do I?”

“Hey, I can’t be held responsible for what Imposter Jake does-”

An almost over-stuffed bag flew through the portal, just short of hitting the dog’s head. Peppermint Butler followed soon after. “Everything is as you requested, Your Majesty.”

Now her smile was less strained and more genuine. “Thanks, Pep. I imagine this may be awhile. Can you go make sure the kingdom hasn’t fallen to chaos in my absence?” He hummed an acknowledgement, glanced down the hall Hunson had traversed moments before, offered a curt regard to Ooo’s greatest champions, and was gone, leaving a room of just Finn, Jake, Bonnibel, and the portal. The moment her servant was gone Bubblegum grabbed the bag and took off down the hall, paying the doors that once fascinated her absolutely no mind. Somehow she was occupied with more important things than the Citadel’s structure.  _ I can sightsee all I want once I know she’s okay.  _ Fortunately, Hunson had been merciful and had left Marceline’s bedroom door open for them to find. Bonnibel crossed the threshold without hesitation.

Whatever she had been expecting, Marceline’s Citadel bedroom was exactly it.

The first thing she noticed, and disapprovingly so, was that Marceline’s room was smaller than their room in the castle. Not by much objectively, surely, but enough just the same. The floor, ceiling, and walls were dark and warm, made of the rest of the material as the Citadel itself. As expected, almost every inch of her walls were covered with posters of various bands and concerts, some of which directly involved the vampire, others of which seemed to be relics from the time before the bombs. Most of the posters were angled, as if their owner was trying to compensate for the limited wall space available to her. Which was almost certainly what happened. The only areas of the walls not covered were the two windows, both of which were enormous and arched, made of stained glass and featuring delicate geometric tracery. Rather than display one solid color, however, the coloration flowed in combination with the pattern, changing shades as the patterns changed form. The result was a beautiful fractal of greens and reds and blues, colors that were connected to one another on the visible spectrum, even if it was difficult to remember how in everyday practical affairs. Both windows were flanked by black-out curtains, the exact same curtains Bonnibel’s windows sported. They were open now, but she supposed that didn’t matter in the Nightosphere; there was no sun, after all.

Embedded in the corner of the room were two closed doors, a closet and lavatory she assumed. Next to those she found the only other poster-less wall, because this was featured over a dozen instruments, all string, all mounted and hung with care. She recognized some by virtue of the amount of time she spent with the musician, but many were foreign and she was briefly surprised and amused at how even now, after hundreds of years, the vampire was still surprising her. Backed against the third wall were an armoire and a dresser, both seemingly made of the same black wood as the bedroom door. They appeared solid and heavy, hand-carved with intricate designs, and with a start Bonnibel realized that, at least at first glance, the design looked exactly like the one on her lover’s stained coat.  _ Is there a significance to this? Fascinating… it’s not like anyone has ever been able to study demons up close…  _ She wanted to approach it, touch it, learn more about it, but knew that may not be her place just yet. For now she would admire from afar and be content with that. The top of the furniture was more amusing anyway: trinkets and bric-a-brac from the surface world abound. There were small figurines she didn’t recognize, half a dozen picture frames - only two of which were facing her, neither of which she recognized -, and a number of trinkets that were too far away for her to make out. Bubblegum even thought she spotted an acorn and a lump of coal.

Her four poster bed was black, both the posts and the canopy made of the same wood-like material as her door. The spires were angular, almost fractal-like, tapering upwards. Curiously, Bonnibel wasn’t able to decipher exactly how the bed posts were carved; they looked to be simultaneously carved from one, two, or maybe ten different pieces of material.  _ Or maybe that’s just the fatigue talking…  _ Each was topped with a small four-eyed bat, complete with fur detail; even from her point on the floor the princess thought she could make out tiny garnet eyes and teensy little fangs. Their wings were spread, perhaps in an attempt to look scary, but honestly they were just so adorable. The footboard itself were solid, though there were copious faint scratches in the wood. The headboard was partially obscured by an array of dark red cushions and pillows, which matched the soft blankets piled on the bed. In contrast to the rest of the room the bed decorations were strangely simple, with no lace, frill, tassels, or other decor to speak of. Just simple and soft looking.

By the time she arrived Marceline had been tucked in, footwear thrown to some forgotten corner past the bare glass night stand sat atop a literal demon’s claw, and Bonnibel wasted no time in joining her, perching on the edge of the bed. Now wrapped under warm blankets, wound shielded, she looked almost peaceful, not at all like she almost truly died only a few hours prior. Hunson watched her sadly before his eyes widened in sudden alarm. “Oh, I should get her axe before she thinks I took it again.” 

Bubblegum barely acknowledged his departure. She barely noticed Finn’s arrival. Her face was hard, her eyes were narrowed, and she was positively bristling. His eyesbrows rose at the sudden demeanor change. “What up, Preebs?”

“Hm.”

“You’ve got your grumpy face on.” It was true: she had dropped the bag to the ground carelessly, she was tightly gripping the blanket, and she was sitting up far too straight to be healthy. She hadn’t even noticed before he said anything. Not that it was going to deter her, because Finn was right and she wasn’t ashamed of that. 

“I don’t like her bed.” 

Of all the responses she could have given he was expecting that the least. Well, perhaps not  _ the  _ least. But certainly in the top fifty. “You… wha?”

“Her mattress is too hard, her blankets aren’t warm enough-”

Finn understood immediately and smiled gently. Amusement crept into his voice, effectively stopping her laundry list of ‘dislikes’ short. Even in this situation her ire was almost comical. Not that he would  _ ever  _ tell her that. He’d have to be bonkers to do so, because Bonnibel Bubblegum could be mad scary even in the best of times. “Aw, come on Peebo.”

“What.” She regarded him out of the corner of her eye suspiciously.

“You just want her to come home. Her room’s not good enough ‘cause it’s not yours.”

She opened her mouth. Closed it. Her hand clenched tighter… “Finn, that’s absolutely-” ...then relaxed, releasing the blanket. “...You’re right.” 

He glanced over his shoulder at Jake, but the dog didn’t seem to be paying much attention. For once his urge to snoop was proving an adequate distraction, so Finn returned to Bubblegum. “It’ll be alright, PB. She’s tougher than stuff! We just gotta help her get better enough to leave this place, she’ll come home, then we can-”

“Dudes, look.”

Finn frowned momentarily, his heartfelt speech interrupted.  _ Glob it, Jake.  _ When he turned to face him, however, he understood the bewildered tone in his brother’s voice. “...Oh. Huh.” 

Now that Finn’s tone was also one of puzzlement Bonnibel looked away from her sleeping lover, lacing their fingers as they followed Finn’s gaze to the armoire. “What is it, Finn?” 

In lieu of a verbal response the boy crossed the room, focusing on the decorations that littered its top. “Woah. It’s the thing!” With a grumble at the loud exclamation Marceline burrowed under the blankets, letting Bonnibel pull them over her head. When Jake, oblivious, turned back to the royal pair he held a familiar object in his hand, made of fused, spotless nails, shaped into the form of a picture frame. The same picture frame that had decorated Lady Abadeer’s desk. Bubblegum almost stood to retrieve it, but true to his heroic nature Finn was already wrestling it from Jake’s figuratively sticky paws, returning it to her for her inspection. As he handed it over she realized that he wasn’t looking at it. With a raised eyebrow, she flipped it over… and smiled. Not a small smile, either. It was large and it brought tears to her eyes, a side-effect of the squishy sentiment that would always be coupled with this particular memory.  _ You… kept the picture? _

Objectively speaking, it was a terrible photograph. The lighting was wrong, it was grainy, and overexposed. But then, that was to expected of a picture hundreds of years old. Bonnibel stroked the frame with her thumb, remembering the grass under her hands, how the two had laughed hysterically trying to hold one another as Marceline angled the picture telekinetically, but Bonnibel just wouldn’t hold still and it was  _ really really  _ distracting. How hard she had tried to take a picture of both monarchs - of course, only one of them was a monarch back then - with the night sky as a backdrop. Because this was a very special night. It was a younger - much younger - Marceline, laying with her back against a bright brown tree, wrapped up in a soft fluffy pink blanket, a younger - much younger - Bonnibel laying with her head on her chest, content and unconcerned. It came out poorly in the picture, but behind the pair was the faint light of a meteor shower, the same event that came to Ooo every year.

The picture she held in her hands was hundreds of years old, had been taken before there was even a Candy Kingdom. They were laughing, Bonnibel’s squirming making it almost impossible for the vampire to focus the camera, making the picture horribly off-center. Years later they would jokingly refer to this night as their first date, but of course where does the line blur between best friends and more? But it was a magical night nonetheless, because that was the night Bonnibel decided that whatever home she made for herself would never be complete without the older woman, and it was the night Marceline decided maybe immortality wasn’t a terrible idea after all. The princess didn’t think the picture survived after all of these years, but then the Nightosphere, where time essentially stopped, seemed like a good place to keep it safe.

“So what’s the plan for bringing her home, Preebles?” 

Bonnibel watched the picture, speaking more to it than to her champion before setting it on Marceline’s bedside table. “It will have to be a gradual reintroduction. I’m concerned about the resulting cognitive dissonance.” When there was no reply she glanced up, but both of her heroes were staring blankly at her.  _ Ah. Right.  _ “When I spoke with Hunson he revealed that we had been unconscious for only a couple of hours or even less, whereas I think we can all agree it felt more like the better part of a week. Perhaps more.” 

Finn frowned, eyes drifting the lump hiding under the blankets. “...If what Nav and the others said is true, though… Marce has been gone for… what? A hundo years?”

“Yes. Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort inevitably experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory or conflicting beliefs. My concern is reintroducing her too quickly to those areas that will conflict with her memories.” 

Finn suddenly felt very intelligent. “Oh, nuts, I get it! You’re worried that if we show her those areas of Ooo that already existed in her brainspace it’ll just be too painful for her to figure out what’s real and what’s fake? So we gotta show ‘em to her really carefully?”

“Yes. If it gets to be too much she’ll run, and it’ll be exceedingly arduous to get her to try again.”  _ And I won’t blame her.  _ The snide undertone so often accompanying that sort of that statement, the latent accusation, so naturally coupled together, had disappeared. It wasn’t an admonishment, not anymore. It was simple recognition of an if/then statement. 

Finn watched his princess, temporary encouragement deflating. “Nah, she wouldn’t do that. We’re her bros. She knows we’ll keep her safe.” Even he sounded unconvinced, as emphasized by the young scientist’s melancholy smile. She knew what he was  _ really  _ saying, and it was a mentality she wanted to encourage as much as possible. 

“Finn, I know you’ll protect her. You both will. But her foundation of reality has been warped, and we don’t know how badly yet. For now it seems as though the Nightosphere seems to have less dissonance than I would expect… but then that could easily just be because we’re not in Hunson’s office...”  _...Or because Lady Evil is already influencing her once more. Figs.  _

She trailed off and Finn chewed his tongue as he mulled this over. “So, like… what you’re saying is that we gotta do two things? We gotta find a way to get her back to Ooo, and we gotta find a place that’s safe for her?”

“Yes. Until I can examine her I won’t know how badly she’s hurt…”  _...and there’s no guarantee she’ll even let me do that.  _ She let that obvious problem go unstated, her posture slumping as she was reminded once more - by herself no less - of her own precarious position, of their questionable relationship status. No one filled in that blank. No one needed to vocally acknowledge that there was no way of knowing if the brilliant scientist would be able to find a way to redeem herself, if she would ever earn Marceline’s trust back. It was better to not draw attention to these sorts of things. Right now Bubblegum didn’t need to be constantly reminded of her own failings, didn’t need to be given the opportunity to self-destruct. What she needed was a distraction. And Finn Mertens was all about distractions.

“Like… a place that wasn’t in her mind!” His eyes lit up, a wide grin splitting his face. “Oh snap! I know how we can do that first one!” When the younger woman raised an eyebrow he opened his mouth, almost said it aloud… then darted his eyes to the sleeping lump.  _ Oh no you don’t. Nice try, Sleeping Marce. I’m not letting you spoil your own surprise!  _ Still grinning, he carefully retrieved his notebook and pen from Bonnibel and hastily scribbled his plan down on the first clean page he found before ripping the note out, passing it to the young scientist with a flourish. 

With great concern she took the paper from him, and as she read the plan her look of worry turned into one of elation. “Finn. Look at you. Even after all of this you’re still giving me ways to help her.”

Jake glanced between the human and the candy golem as he was handed the note, and though the size of his grin couldn’t compare to her’s it was still trying its hardest. “Niiiice, Finn. I approve, bro. But where do we do it? We can’t go to any of the places in her mind, so we gotta find somewhere else safe. You know. Neutral turf.”

“Ice Kingdom?”

Bonnibel shook her head at Finn’s suggestion. “I don’t think so. Simon wouldn’t try to hurt her, but I don’t want to risk her seeing him when she’s trying to heal through this sort of trauma.”

“He doesn’t normally leave his cave…” A huff. “But yeah, you’re right. It’s too risky. We might only have one shot at this.”  _ But where else is there that’s safe for her? Can’t go to her house, or mine, or the castle, maybe even the whole Grasslands. Not a lot of places- _

“Got it!”

Both turned to Jake expectantly and he smirked, clearly quite proud of himself. “Fire Kingdom.” His paw covered his mouth. “Yeah, Jake! You’re so smart! It’s no wonder you’re Ooo’s Most Eligible Bachelor, even if you aren’t a bachelor!” His paw dropped, but his smirk didn’t. 

It was almost comical how well synchronized Finn’s beam and Bonnibel’s scowl were. “Fire Kingdom,” she deadpanned. 

It didn’t deter Jake. Little did. “Yeah! Marce and Phoebe seemed pretty close, so I doubt she’d care about her being on the outskirts, even if you guys have biz goin’ on. I bet if we just call her and give her a heads up she’ll even keep the spot clear of scouts and peeps for us!” Green eyes narrowed.  _ He’s right. He’s right and I hate it. I swore not to speak to Phoebe until she apologizes for being a ding dong… but…  _ She glanced to the bundle of blankets, her eyes softening.  _ I’d rather have you back than my pride. It’s done enough damage.  _ Perhaps sensing her wavering will Jake pressed his attack. It wasn’t often he had the Secrets to Success and he was going to enjoy it. “Dude, if it means that much to you I’ll call her and her it straightened out. Cool?” 

It was hard to argue with logic like that, and she exhaled loudly before nodding. “Yes. You’re right. It’s the safest place right now.” She hesitated before continuing her thought.  _...Say it. It’s about Marcy, Bubblegum. Not you. Her safety comes first.  _ “Alright, here’s the plan, boys. Jake, go get in touch with Phoebe. Find a good spot, and get ready to set up a summoning circle. Bug Milk, chalk, the whole shebang. Just in case it gets to be a little much and she needs to bail.”

He saluted and she turned to Finn. “There… there’s something I need to do, but I need your help for it. The portal to my laboratory is still open in Hunson’s office. I need you to meet me there. I’m just-”  The cover being pulled over their occupant’s heads forced her attention away from the frame. “Marcy?” There was hope in her voice, and for more than one reason. 

“Tired. Too loud,” came the grumbled reply and out of old habit Bonnibel dropped her hand over where she knew the vampire’s head would be, rubbing it gently. It took her several long moments to realize that the half-demon wasn’t pulling away and she was sure the relief seeped into her voice.

“Sorry, Marcy.” There was squirming before the head poked out from under the blankets. Garnet eyes squinted at the surface-dwellers, the two heroes whose grins were far less innocent than they possibly could have thought, and the princess who was covered in her-

_...Oh. Right. _

She frowned. “What are you dweebs doing in my room?” It was less of a genuine question, and more of a very strongly implied ‘get out’. 

Neither relinquished their innocent smiles as they quickly drifted out of the bedroom. “Enjoying the tasteful decorating! See you tonight, Marce!” And then they were gone, without any explanation, without any indication of what she would make out of their thinly-veiled threat. They were gone, and only two immortals remained, both not looking at one another. Bonnibel bit her lip, realizing only now that she neglected to strategize a plan of attack, or any way of tactfully ascertaining how much - and what - Marceline remembered.

There were moments in life, however rare, where one decision would change the entire outcome. There were moments in life, however rare, where one decision would not be able to be withdrawn, where once it was made there was no going back. No changing your mind later, no back-pedalling, no do-over. Just one fork in the road and no possibility of turning around. This was such a moment, because there were lots of things she would  _ love  _ to talk about, would  _ love  _ to say to her estranged lover, but only one thing Bonnibel Bubblegum  _ promised  _ she would. It could be, quite realistically, the last thing she would ever get to say to Marceline if she kept to her word. But how could she not? How, after everything that had happened, could she rescind her promise? Because that was what she made to the Unifier: a promise.

“...That’s my blood, isn’t it.” It was a statement that didn’t even pretend to be a question. There was no gentleness, but there was no alacrity either. Marceline only sounded numb. She also sounded like she was in pain, like talking was something that should be avoided.  _ Did I ruin her throat? Did I rob her of her ability to sing? Did I take her music?  _ Even before the adventure, even at her darkest, such an action would be unthinkable, and her fingers itched with the desire to science some solution. But her ‘solutions’ were how Marceline was hurt in the first place.  _ She  _ was how Marceline was hurt in the first place. 

“...Yes. It is.”

“Why.”

Talking was clearly laborious and was coupled with a grimace. It was becoming difficult to resist the urge to clear the musician’s beautiful inky-black hair away from her neck so Bonnibel could properly examine the injury, but she refrained. She refrained because exposing a wound was an act of trust, and it wasn’t something she had earned back yet. Maybe something she would never earn back.  _ Here goes everything, Bubblegum. Don’t blow this.  _ “Because I made you try to control your father’s amulet and it hurt you. It almost killed you. You clawed out your throat trying to remove it. I… imagine that’s why you’re so tired.” Marceline said nothing, and the princess chanced a glance, only to find the vampire was watching her warily.  _...Do it. Before she asks more questions and you lose your nerve.  _ “A lot of has happened, but Marcy… there’s something I have to tell you.” The queen raised an eyebrow but gave no verbal cue to continue. Nor did she give a verbal cue  _ not  _ to continue, and Bubblegum decided that was permission enough. Everything in her wanted to look away, but she kept her gaze locked on her possibly-former-lover’s.

“I kept the dagger.”

Marceline tensed, eyes narrowing. But not interrupting. There was only one dagger she could possibly be referring to. “I know I promised to destroy it like a bazillion years ago. I betrayed your trust. There are no excuses for my behavior and there is no justification for my poor logic. I took advantage of your love and used your affection for me as a weapon. I’ve been hurting you for centuries and I didn’t care. Even more than just keeping the dagger. I was selfish, thoughtless, and, at times, cruel, even beyond the dagger. I took you for granted, plain and simple.” She took a deep breath. “When you put on the amulet you did it because  _ I  _ wanted you to. Because you wanted to make me happy, and I told you that would do it. But it hurt you. It broke your mind. We - me, Finn, and Jake - went into your mind using my VR technology to retrieve you. That’s… a really long story, but the point is that I was forced to see everything I’ve done to you. Including the ways I’ve hurt you that you always forgave or ignored. I… learned a lot about myself.  _ You  _ showed me a lot about myself I’ve denied and repressed. Even broken…” Another deep breath. “Your mind was broken. It was hurt. Is. You’re hurt. I… want to help-”  _ but I don’t know if I’ve earned that privilege  _ “-and I will respect whatever it is you tell me to do.”

“...Why.”

There was no elaboration, no clarity as to what part she was referring to. It was a mind game, one Bonnibel recognized. Why wouldn’t she? She’d played it with Marceline for hundreds of years. It was up to her to decide what that question-that-was-really-a-statement referred to. “I kept the dagger because I’m a selfish, paranoid person. I didn’t value you as an autonomous individual, only as an extension of what you could do for me. I want to help… because in trying to help you I’ve seen all the ways I’ve failed you over the centuries we’ve known one another, sometimes even deliberately. You deserve so much better, Marcy…”

Marceline watched her carefully. Or, at least, as carefully as she could. Her entire body hurt, her brain felt like it was full of cotton, her ability to think felt scrambled. Her heart hurt, at least figuratively, because Bubblegum’s crimes were undeniable. But as furious as she was - and that was putting it lightly - she felt almost as though some part of her knew, had always known, or at least had always suspected. Bonnibel Bubblegum’s betrayal didn’t seem so surprising, and that hurt more than almost anything she was feeling at the moment… but it also didn’t feel like new information, which was horribly confusing. Something  _ did  _ feel new, though. The vampire’s memories of the tragic course of events that would almost cost her her unlife began to blur just after entering the Nightosphere, and the finer details were possibly lost forever, but she had centuries of experience with the younger woman. Princess Bubblegum was callous, egotistical, paranoid, megalomaniacal, and controlling. All of the sins the woman before her were describing fit her mentality perfectly, and the rockstar’s first instinct was to kick her out of her room, out of her dimension, out of her Unlife because, seriously, she kept the dagger and-  _ who does that?!  _ But the more she watched the pink-haired scientist the more what she was seeing didn’t fit with what she knew. Didn’t fit the woman she loved. Because Princess Bubblegum didn’t beg for forgiveness, didn’t defer a position of power, certainly didn’t turn away from her to sob like she was doing now, didn’t express vulnerability in any way-

But Bonnibel did.

She blinked at that thought, but didn’t relax. Bonnibel had apologized before, of course, but never for anything significant, and even then her apologies were carefully worded to put the onus on Marceline. They always came with an implicit fine print, an escape clause that allowed the candy golem to say ‘but if you had just…’. The fact that this wasn’t happening now was foreign. Instead, Bonnibel had owned her behavior, claimed it as her responsibility alone. Try as she might Marceline couldn’t remember the events she was being described, couldn’t fathom being lost in her own mind, but there was no reason for her to lie about that, especially since the older woman could easily just confirm with Finn and Jake later.  _ And I will.  _ The last time she had seen Princess Bubblegum she had been composed, cold, hard, detached, and sharp. This was not the person she was seeing now, but she had to know, had to see what would happen if she just stayed silent, didn’t validate her, didn’t answer her, because she  _ knew  _ Bonnibel, and she would never suffer such an indignation, the insult of not having her statements validated or her opinions acknowledged.

But she was suffering it. Because she hadn’t moved, hadn’t even attempted to shield her probably-temporary vulnerability. She wasn’t prodding Marceline to answer before she was ready, wasn’t giving in to the temptation to justify her behavior. She was deferring her position of power, plain and simple. And Bonnibel never deferred. With a frown Marceline closed her eyes, focusing on the beat of a candy heart, hoping to gauge its unsteadiness and rapidity as a signal as to whether or not she was being honest. Instead it just made her sleepy because it just sounded nervous. When her eyes opened Bonnibel had finally looked away, staring at the blankets clutched in her hands.

“...Why did you come after me?” There was hardness in her voice she didn’t put there but welcomed all the same. 

Bonnibel paused after the question, perhaps gathering her own thoughts, perhaps waiting to see if Marceline would continue her’s, before answering. “At first it was because I had forced you to royal promise me to return back to Ooo with me. But then I destroyed your trust in me with that lumping dagger, and you got really hurt. Then… I realized that I was a terrible person to the one person I promised to protect and love. You weren’t happy in your mind. You were hurt.” It was a jumble of half-formed ideas, but Marceline supposed it counted.  _ Man, you didn’t even try to make that sound pretty and noble.  _ That was unlike Bubblegum in every way, it was more like Bonnibel, before she let her role as a monarch corrupt her into someone new. It hurt. It made her uncomfortable.

“...Don’t wanna talk about this.” 

Bubblegum’s eyes widened and her grip turned into a vice. At first Marceline wasn’t sure what had caused the demeanor change, then realized her internal monologue had turned into an external dialogue. “...No. Just mean… not now. ‘M really tired,” she slurred. 

Bonnibel nodded slowly, absent-mindedly turning to pull the covers back over the vampire, tucking her back in anew. “I… I understand, Marcy. Do you… want to talk about this? When you’re feeling a bit better?”

There were moments in life, however rare, where one decision would change the outcome. There were moments in life, however rare, where one decision would not be able to be withdrawn, where once it was made there was no going back. No changing your mind later, no back-pedalling, no do-over. Just one fork in the road and no possibility of turning around. This was such a moment, because Marceline was furious, hurt in at least a dozen ways, exhausted, and emotionally drained. But she knew what she was  _ really  _ being asked: she was being implored to consider forgiving Bubblegum, or at least letting her earn her forgiveness. She wanted to say no. She was proud of her impulsivity as a rule and in that moment she wanted little more than to kick the princess out, because-  _ seriously who does that?!  _ But such was the problem with squishy heartgut emotions: they don’t go away just because you’re mad and they’re inconvenient. This time, though, it wasn’t just Bubblegum’s word. She had witnesses. More importantly, though, Marceline Abadeer was over a thousand years old, had lost the people and places she loved more times than she could count, could recognize a fork in the road when she saw one, and knew that she was being offered a choice between truth and freedom: know and confront what actually happened in her mind, including her relationship with the scientist, or cut her ties without getting her hands dirty, feel that piece of her soul connected to her die, and live the rest of her unnatural life hollow but liberated.

She didn’t exactly consider herself a brainlord, but someone pink and perfect had once taught her that consequences were A Thing In Life that even someone as awesome as herself would have to acknowledge and that no one ever got to escape them forever.  _ Not me. And not someone pink and perfect either.  _ “...Yeah. Wanna talk. Just wanna nap first.” The words felt filthy in her mouth, but they also felt right.

Bonnibel Bubblegum stared, dumbfounded. It was perhaps the one time in her unnatural life she had been truly floored, absolutely stunned into silence. No, it wasn’t an ‘I forgive you’ or anything like it, but really, it never would be. It was better, really, because it meant that she was about to be forced to take all the education she had just received and apply it towards a practical exam. She had learned so much about herself inside her mate’s mindscape, and now she had to prove it.  _ Perhaps this is what was missing when my hubris almost got her killed last time. I didn’t have demonstrate I learned anything, and so I didn’t. Now the burden is on me. As it should be.  _ She smiled broadly, absentmindedly smoothing down the blankets before withdrawing. “...Thank you, Marcy.” With every ever ounce of resolution she backed off of the bed, wanting to express her respect for any boundaries Marceline may enact. Such was the style of the times. “We have a surprise for you, but it’ll take a little while to set up. We’ll come get you later, alright?” There was no response except for soft breathing, and Bonnibel smiled.  _ Sweet dreams, Marcy.  _ And then she was through the portal, and Marceline settled under her blankets.

The knocking on her door roused her immediately, and she groaned at the cheerful, “there’s my little monster!” as it loudly opened. 

Ignoring how much it hurt she flung the blanket off her, glaring at her father, who only smirked, unphased. “No, that’s great, dad. Come right in.” 

He chortled, crossing the room before she even had a chance to hide under the blankets once more. “Oh good! I wouldn’t want to intrude, but if I have your permission!” He gave her a lop-sided grin, the one she knew she inherited from him, and absent-mindedly wondered if Bonnibel found it just as infuriating. “How do you feel, Marceline?” She crossed her arms and turned away, accidentally revealing more of her throat wound in the process. Evidently Hunson didn’t like what he saw because his smile slowly fell. “Can I see?” She grumbled, but didn’t resist when he leaned in closer to her neck.  _ Guess if anyone knows how this works it’ll be him…  _ When he pulled away his sigh was heartfelt and Marceline subconsciously pulled the blankets around herself, feeling too exposed without them. “I’m sorry, Marceline. I never thought you would get hurt or I would never have put you in danger.” 

She turned away from him, wrapping her arms around her knees. “S’fine, dad,” she mumbled. 

To her surprise, the response was a firm, “No, Marceline, it isn’t.” She didn’t turn to him, but she did listen to closely, figuring it was probably the same thing. “I should have suspected something was wrong when you showed up out of the blue with your friends like that. I was just so proud that I didn’t really think about it…” He sighed, looking at the ceiling of his daughter’s room. It was easier to talk to her that way. “You know, every time something seriously bad happened to you I wasn’t there?” She groaned, but he wasn’t deterred. “I didn’t even know you got un-vampired until Finn told me, and that was years later! You had to grow up through the apocalypse without your old man-”

“Dad, stop. I know what my life was like,” she snapped. 

He looked to her and smiled gently, sitting at the edge of the bed. “I know you do. I’m just… I’m so proud of you, Marceline. If I wasn’t Deathless I don’t think I could have survived what you’ve survived, and you haven’t just survived you’ve flourished! Everyone down here knows who has the coolest daughter.” She groaned once more and he took it as praise. “You have great friends and am amazing life. I’m so proud of you, Marceline.”

“Then why wasn’t it enough for her,” she mumbled, cheeks flushing in what she hoped was ire. 

He didn’t draw attention to it. He had more tact than that. “I know it’s not what you want to hear… but you’re a lot like your mother, Marceline.” ...Not that he had a lot of tact in general, though. She stiffened but didn’t interrupt. “She was a very passionate woman, and she felt things so strongly, just like you do. When I first realized she was my mate I was so confused. Here was this wonderful woman, this amazing human…” he trailed off, exhaling forcefully. “The day I learned she was mortal, what that really meant… everything changed for me that day, Marceline. And when I watched your Bonnibel while Peppermint Butler retrieved her weird equipment I realized she looked exactly how I felt then. When I felt my world fall apart.”

Marceline pulled her knees tighter, eyes closing. “I don’t want to talk about mom, dad.” 

He smiled sadly. One day they would need to, but perhaps now was not the time. “I know, Marceline. We don’t need to. All I mean is that… I had everything, then I was a fool and… then I didn’t. When people lose everything their souls go through certain profound transformations. I’m not sure why it was so important to Bubblegum that you try to take over the family business… but I want you to know that I’m proud of you. You made it back here, and I don’t think you understand yet how extraordinary that really is.”  _ You may not understand now… but one day you’re going to be even stronger than I am.  _ There was a muffled, ‘Finn and Jake helped’ and Hunson let himself smile. “Yeah, they did. They were ready to jump right in there,” he paused to tap her head, ignoring her pointed look, “and come bring you home. You have wonderful friends.”

She shoved his hand away, then sighed. “I know. I just… they’re in Ooo…”

“...And you don’t know if you should go back there yet.” She didn’t respond and he pulled her into a tight hug. “Marceline, you know you are welcomed to stay here for as long as you’d like. You have my full support for whatever it takes to help you recover. I love you, Marceline.” 

With less reluctance than she’d like to admit, she hugged him back. “I love you too, dad. I don’t know if I’ll crash here, but… thanks for the offer.” She gave him a watery smile and they separated. 

“Of course, Marceline. Do you need anything? I could have Jan-” As he stood he felt his foot bump against something large and glanced down. “What do we…?” Marceline raised an eyebrow as her father reached down, pulling a very large, stuffed messenger bag. “Almost rolled under the bed! No match for me though. Awesome, huh?” 

The vampire rolled her eyes, then reached out to take the object. “Huh. Looks like Bonnie’s messenger bag.” 

She dropped it on the bed, eyeing it warily. Hunson grinned, pinching her cheek. “Aw… daddy’s little monster’s courtier made her a care package.” She tried to bite his hand, really she did, but the old man was surprisingly swift and it only brightened his laughter. Deciding it best to ignore the instigator she turned her attention to the bag. Or, more accurately, the note pinned to the top of the bag, written in dainty, pink, very familiar handwriting:

_ In case you get hungry _

“Is that a towel?” A large bath towel was indeed the first thing Marceline removed from the messenger bag, but while Hunson was confused by why Bonnibel would provide a bath towel of all things Marceline was struck for an all-too-different reason: it was a member of her luxury set, one of the four softest towels she owned, in the most appetizing shade of pink. She would know it anywhere.  _ But… Bon hates when I eat her towels.  _ Impatience eating at her, she dumped the rest of the contents on her bed, revealing three shiny red apples, a hand towel-  _ She broke up the set?  _ -a book-  _ Oh fudge, when did she learn I can speak German?  _ -and one last very special item. Despite her animosity, Marceline smiled…

“Oh, what’s this?”

...Only to scowl when her father snatched the grey box, small enough to fit almost entirely in the palm of her hand. “Dad!” 

He chuckled as he sat next to her, handing it back. “Okay, okay! Spare your old man.” She grumbled, but when the box wasn’t opened he squirmed in a way she also just now recognized as possibly genetic. “No, but seriously, what is it?”

She rolled her eyes, opening the box and revealing two small red and green gadgets nestled securely inside. “They’re ear things. Bonnie has a really long name for them that I can’t remember. They turn on if where I am gets too quiet and make noise.”  _ She… was worried that I’d freak out?  _

Hunson had no idea what that meant but was quite good at pretending, and pretend he did. “Mmhm… and now your courtier is making you an offering? Hey, maybe you’ll have some kids after all!” 

Her eyes widened as she flushed deeply. “DAD!” He cackled, running from the room and closing the door just in time to avoid having an apple thrown at his head. It did nothing to ease her scowl. Or her blush. Instead she grumbled, turned the book over in her hand, then decided against it and shoved her pile of gifts to the opposite side of the bed… only to change her mind and reach over for the grey box. After only light hesitation she opened the box, withdrawing one of the ear buds. She rolled it over in her calloused fingers tentatively, almost nervously, before sliding it in her ear, placing the box on her nightstand, right next to the picture. It took mere seconds before the strange devices did their jobs, registering the ambient volume as being too low to be safe for the immortal woman, allowing her to settle back into bed with the sound of Ooo’s rain singing in her mind.

Bonnibel Bubblegum, on the other hand, was unaware of the conversation Marceline was having with her father. She stepped through the portal, finding her laboratory exactly as it was when she had left it. The room was still uncharacteristically filled almost to capacity, every bed piled with raw material from the nearby dextrose mines. Boxes littered the floors, the sink needed to be cleaned of the glowing green lump. Her computer desk was still covered in notes and papers and she frowned, simultaneously relieved and irritated to see the mess was as it had been. She disapproved of messes as a rule. Her mood brightened when she found the one organized table, almost in the corner, below her window and a large hooded vent.  _ Ah. Thanks, Pep. Perfect spot.  _ Barely acknowledging Finn, and even then it was only a short mental acknowledgement he would have no possible way of hearing, Bonnibel strode across the room. Finn blinked at her sudden determined demeanor, hopping off of his stool to follow.

“Uh… princess? What are we doing?”

She didn’t answer, but that was normal, and he had long since learned to not take it personally. When she stopped at the table he all-but ran into it in his curiosity, the pain in his leg dulled by the intriguing items he found: a large beaker, a jug filled with a clear liquid, what looked like a hot plate, gloves, masks, goggles, a bag of sand, a vice, and numerous other tools and gadgets he didn’t even know where to begin identifying. What he did recognize was the dagger, the wretched, cursed object that had caused his best ladybros so much anguish, and its presence made him pale. Without so much as a glance Bonnibel motioned offhandedly to the gloves, goggles, and masks. “Put those on, Finn. Then don’t touch anything.” He raised an eyebrow, but shrugged his compliance.  _ Not the weirdest thing she’s ever asked me to do.  _ Not that he ever took his eyes off of the weapon. Just in case.  _ O… kay. Not ominous at all, PB. Nope.  _ Still, he complied, as one typically did when given safety instructions from a mad scientist.

He watched her work with quiet awe. Bonnibel Bubblegum was a woman pushing nine hundred years old, and if Marceline was to be believed she had spent nearly all of her almost nine hundred years sciencing in some capacity. This world, this laboratory, this was her natural environment, and watching her maneuver within it would never cease to be fascinating. Her pace was calm, her motions were fluid. She needed no instructions, no guidance to complete her task, she only needed space and, at least for now, silence. Finn watched her set the dagger in the vice with no real regard for it, or her own safety, and successfully resisted the pedantic urge to advise her to be careful with the sharp thing.  _ Like she’s never been around sharp things before…  _ When she brandish a large steel instrument that looked a lot like a pick he frowned, curiosity - and concern - getting the best of him. “Uh… what are you doing, PB?”

Her hum of acknowledgement preceded a loud *crack*, the pick having obliterated the mount setting holding the royal gem. The moment the refuse was cleared the princess pocketed the artifact, pausing only then. “I’m destroying the dagger, Finn.” She returned to her craft and Finn tightened his lips, nodding slowly. 

“Uh huh… and what am I doing?” 

The dagger, including the pieces of the broken setting, were placed inside the large beaker. “Watching. And not touching.”

He nodded once more. “Uh huh… and what’s that?” 

She had donned her own protective equipment and lifted the jug of clear liquid, which unhelpfully lacked a label. It bothered him just a little bit that everything lacked a label. It just didn’t seem like good lab safety. “Nitric acid. It will break down the dagger into silver nitrate, allowing me to destroy it entirely.” 

As she poured the liquid to cover the weapon in excess he continued his slow nod. “Uh huh… why not just… you know… melt it down?” 

Once she set the now almost-empty jug down he instinctively stepped back, but nothing happened. She seemed undeterred. “The dagger isn’t dangerous because it’s a dagger, Finn. It’s dangerous because it’s made of silver. So long as the silver remains it could still hurt her. The only way I can protect her is to obliterate it, not just change its form.” His frown deepened.  _ That sounded almost symbolic.  _ He shook his head at the absurdity. _ Nah. Not PB. She doesn’t roll that way.  _ When she pressed a button on the metal plate she stepped back, pulling him with her out of sheer habit.

At first nothing happened, as is so typical of scientific advancement. Then the liquid began to bubble, to boil. Then Finn bore witness to the most marvelous sight: the liquid, until then translucent, turned bright orange, then darkened to the color of copper. It was beautiful. Well, except for the dark smoke that was being funnelled out the window, away from either of the room’s inhabitants. “...This is pretty righteous, PB.” She nodded absently, fixated on the spectacle before her. His smile, still awed, wavered just a smidge. But only just. “I don’t get it, B-bubs. Now that Marce is back… wouldn’t you want her to see you destroy it?” 

Her sigh was bone-deep. “That’s… no, Finn.”

“...Why?”  _ Let it go, Finn.  _ But of course, he couldn’t, and Bonnibel couldn’t fault him for curiosity. Especially after everything that happened. Especially after everything  _ he  _ did for her. For both of them. “Because it’s not about me, Finn. It’s about her.” She paused, but he didn’t prod. He only watched her carefully, not knowing what else to do but listen. “The longer this thing exists the longer it poses a threat to her. There’s no way to tell when-”  _ or if, be honest with yourself Bubblegum  _ “-she’ll come home, and if I waited to do this… well, I’d just be putting myself about her all over again. I’d be prioritizing my desires over her safety.”

“So I’m here to vouch?”

“Yes.” She was beginning to sound like every one of her almost nine hundred years. “Marceline won’t believe me if I tell her I destroyed it for realzorz. Technically speaking I have a vested interest in keeping it. You have no interest.”

“So I’ve got no reason to lie?”

“Correct.” Now she definitely sounded like every one of her almost nine hundred years. “You have no reason to deceive her like I did. She may not believe you, but you’re more credible than I am.” 

He wanted to argue with that logic, he really did, but Bonnibel Bubblegum was  _ really  _ good at logic, and she was right. The solution burned into an almost-black cloud of smoke as the two stared on, and by the time the scientist moved to help the remaining smoke find its way out of the window Finn still had not thought of anything helpful to say. Instead he asked about her work. It was the only thing that he had ever seen elicit a consistently positive response. “And… what are you doing now?” 

She reached for the large bag of sand and he moved to help her, but she shook her head.  _ No, Finn. I need to do this on my own.  _ It took some expert maneuvering, but soon the white sand began to mix with the silver renments. “This is salt. I’m going to burn it down with the silver nitrate. After that I’ll separate it once more, and then it will be safe to dispose of.”

“You can’t just toss it now?” 

She plopped the remainder of the bag back to the floor, though her back prevented the human from seeing the rest of her work. “I’m afraid chemistry doesn’t work like that, Finn. In small amounts silver nitrate can even be medicinal, but it’s still a caustic agent and stains eeeeveeerrrrryyyythiiiiiing. No thanks, guy.” It was several minutes more, but just as she had predicted the tiniest sliver of sparkly-goop was eventually gathered in the large beaker, and with a relieved smile she crossed the room. Paying no mind to the strange glowing green lump in the sink she dumped the goop, gloved fist slamming a red button on her way back. A loud siren blared, and when Finn jumped she shot him an apologetic smile. Then the industrial fan turned on and she removed her gloves first, then her goggles and he followed suit. “Aaaand done. No more stupid dagger.” 

Her words looked playful, but they sounded bitter and felt like ash in her mouth. As she watched the fan soak up the last remains of the smoke she deposited her discarded gear carelessly on the floor, not even registering Finn’s bewilderment at her secondary lapse in safety precaution. But if she wasn’t worried he wasn’t worried, so instead he shrugged his cares away and dropped his own in a pile on top of her’s. “Algebraic! What’s next, PB?”

  
“Mm.” She reached her hand into her pocket, pulling out the flawless ocean blue royal gem. It had been literally centuries she had last seen the object unrestrained, unhindered and able to reflect the light around it. Out of curiosity she held it against the artificial lightsource of her laboratory’s ceiling, watching its surface sparkle causing her lips to quirk.  _ I wonder what you’ll look like in the moonlight…  _ Only then did she realize that she had been asked a question. Still unused to letting sentiment in any form distract her from the task at hand she cleared her throat in lieu of an apology, ignoring her champion’s knowing smile. “Jake should be almost set up. We should retrieve Marcy and meet him there.”

“Cool deal. You wanna go get her?”

_ That’s a loaded question if there ever was one. Yes, Finn, I do. More than anything. But....  _ “I… don’t think she’s ready for that yet. I told her about the dagger before I left, but…”

“...She’s still not ready to see you?,” he smiled knowingly.

“...To be honest, I’m not sure. Maybe? She needed to rest, and I didn’t want to push her to talk before she’s ready. I want to proceed at a pace that’s comfortable for her. I don’t want to risk portraying-” 

Finn’s knowing smile became, of all things, teasing. “Ah, you’re thinking way too much about this, Peeble-o. Marce might be mad mad, she might be hurt, she might be a lot of things right now. But she’s still Marce. How ‘bout you head to the Fire Kingdom, check the what up? I’ll go back to the Nightosphere, convince her to just  _ try  _ coming home for a little while, and you can open a portal ‘soon as everything’s up to your specs?” 

Bonnibel watched him cautiously, trying to pinpoint the moment in his young life her champion became so mature and thoughtful before deciding it must be a coincidence. “Yes. That makes sense. I’ll fly ahead on The Morrow. You-”

“Find a way to make the most stubborn woman alive, unalive, and anything in between do something she may not want to do? Check!” He slammed his fist against his chest twice. “Your wish is my command, m’lady!” 

In spite of or perhaps because of herself, Bonnibel smiled. A real smile. A smile that would never be able to represent the gratitude it should, because such concepts were still so strange the princess, so foreign.  _ But then… everything wonderful was once foreign.  _ “Thank you, Finn.” She offered him a kiss to his cheek and he flushed deeply, coughing into his fist.

“Okay so I’m gonna go get Marce okay?” It was a rush, and a squeak if anything, and soon he was back to through the portal, trusting Bonnibel to reach the Fire Kingdom, locate Jake, and finish preparations on her own.  _ Good luck, Finn. _

Crossing the portal was disorienting, but Finn was gradually growing accustomed to it. It didn’t hurt that not much had changed in the short span of time he had been gone, including the humanoid-sized lump under the blankets of Marceline’s bed. Finn smirked, resisting every urge - and oh boy were there a lot of them - to prank his ladybro into waking up. Given the circumstances, though, he thought it best  _ not  _ to be a butt. And so, like the gentleman he was, Finn Mertens knocked his fist on the closest bed post and cleared his throat loudly  _ before  _ taunting her. “Hey Marce! Your escort is here, yo!” 

There was a brief pause before a groan, loud and deep, emerged from under the blankets, followed by the head of a very disgruntled vampire. “What the flip, Finn?!”

He grinned his most insufferable grin, the grin that promised there would be no getting rid of him, the grin that declared him a man on a mission. A mission of mischief and friendship. “It’s time for your surprise, dude! We got it all set up for you!” She continued to glare and he ignored the raspiness of her voice, hoping it wasn’t a permanent feature. He couldn’t imagine his ladybro not being able to sing.  _ Probs shouldn’t draw attention to it. Not nice.  _ “Seriously, you’ll love it! 

“I don’t want to go back to Ooo, Finn.”

“It’s perf safe, Marce! You got me and Jake to watch your back!”

“I don’t need help, Finn.”

“Just trust me on this!”

“...Trust you.” She sounded unconvinced. 

He wasn’t. “Yup! Yeah, you don’t remember this yet, but you and I are mondo best bros now, so I can’t let you hide in your room all day or… night or… whatevs time it is.” 

She sighed and pulled the blanket back over her head. “Finn go away.” But there was no bite in the command, just trepidation and fatigue, and so he decisively ignored it, like the good friend he was. 

“Nah, sorry guy.” Her noise was as full of disgruntlement as his was heartfelt. He ignored that as well, perching on the bed. “Listen, Marce… we’re just really happy that you’re home now, you know? We were scared we’d lost you.”

There was a pause, a long one even, but soon a garnet eye was peeking out from under the blankets. “...What  _ really  _ happened, Finn?”  _ Because Bonnie lies like she breathes and you suck at it.  _

He took a deep breath. “Well… short version is that Peebo wanted to be queen, I guess? Well, she convinced you to try your dad’s amulet. You know, take over the Nightosphere. But it broke your brain, so we all went in after you.” When he paused her eyes narrowed, and he almost remembered all-too-late that she could hear his heart race. “I mean like… it  _ literally  _ broke your mind. Do you remember anything?” 

Whether it was a redirect or genuine curiosity Marceline wasn’t sure, but it was fair enough either way. “I’m… not really sure. Flashes, I guess? Except like… less with pictures and more with emotions and thoughts. It’s really hard to explain.” 

His nod was understanding. “Yeah, you’ve been through a lot, Marce. I don’t blame ya.” The pair fell silent, until Finn broached the question that hung heavily in the air. “Do you... remember Ooo?” 

Her grimace made him regret his inquiry, and he hoped that simple question couldn’t cause that ‘cognitive dissonance’ he’d heard so little about. “Kinda? I remember… a sky filled with dust. And lots of decay and gross stuff. And… the castle? But… it was, like… broken? But… not broken...” She grimaced once more. “If I think about it too hard it messes up my mindmeats.”

“So don’t think about it. Your mind was a really messed up place, Marce, but you don’t need to dig through it all right now. That’s what we’re for.” She scoffed and he nodded. “Nah, I hear ya. But it’s true. We almost lost you for realsies, Marceline. You shoulda seen Peebo. She was a wreck.”

“‘Find that hard to believe,” she muttered in her pillow. Finn watched her shift, watched her turn her back to him. He knew that it wasn’t - shouldn’t be - his place to interfere in his friends’ love lives, that he was meddling with forces he would never be able to live long enough to understand. But how could he resist the opening he was being offered? Because Marceline’s statement looked so certain but she sounded so very unsure, like she wanted to believe the best in her mate and was searching for any opportunity for it. Her hand clutched the blanket as she lay there, stiff, eyes narrowed and averted from Finn or anything else of meaning in her room. Finn didn’t like seeing her like this. He decided, in fact, that he quite hated it. That and how lost his ladybros looked without one another.

“I know, Marce. I’ll be honest though, when we first got in your brain she did some real messed up junk. But then she had to look at all that messed up junk and I think she grew, you know? She’s like a new person. But in a good way!” When she rolled over to face him, he felt his spirit bolster. He had an idea. A risky one for so many reasons, an idea that could go horribly wrong, but an idea nonetheless. Because, deep down, Finn Mertens was a romantic sort of soul, and this never really stopped being a mission of love. “She protected you, Marce. Like… we met a thing in your brain. A demon. She didn’t want to let you go home. We tried to reason with her, but she was like ‘no way, I’m a wad. Not her exact words…. But, you know. They could’ve been.”

_ A… demon? I mean… I guess that could be a thing…  _ “So… what happened?” There was curiosity in that tone, well-hidden but there nonetheless and Finn let himself grin. 

“Oh man, you shoulda seen it! PB was gonna trade her  _ the entire Candy Kingdom  _ just to let you come home. And just now! She  _ destroyed  _ the dagger, Marce! I was there! In the lab! There was fire and everything!” His arms made interesting gestures vaguely reminiscent of plumes of smoke and Marceline blinked without interrupting, too focused on how oddly steady his heartbeat was now. His heartbeat, which gave no indication of lies or betrayal.  _ That’s… dumb. Bon would never do that. None of it.  _ And yet even Marceline had to admit that she had already seen at least some evidence of truth in his claims. Perhaps not trying to trade her entire kingdom -  _ that  _ seemed a little farfetched - but she herself had watched the younger monarch demonstrate humility, affection, and respect in a way she never really did. Not sincerely, anyway. But she certainly seemed sincere then, just as Finn seemed sincere now.

It was easy to call Bonnibel a liar. It was hard to call Finn a traitor.

When she grimaced once more from the mental taxation of her deliberation he hopped off the bed, drawing her attention. “Why don’t we go back to Ooo, just for your surprise? Jake’s gonna open a portal right to your room, so you can come right back here if it gets to be too much, alright?” When she didn’t immediately argue against his logic he knew he was winning and did everything humanly possible to keep that boast out of his voice. “‘Sides, you’re gonna love it. You’re gonna be all, ‘oh no way, Finn! This is like the best surprise in the history of surprises! You’re the absolute best at this kind of stuff and anyone who says otherwise can totes suck eggs!” He nodded sagely to himself, convinced of his own hype. 

Marceline stared at him, shaking her head slowly. “You’re ridiculous, Finn.”

“But~?” He smirked.   


“Finn, I’m not going to go back to Ooo.”

“Aw, come on, Marce. You’ll love it!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Finn-”

It was the puppy dog eyes that broke her. That and the well-timed, friendly blue portal opening behind him, separating her from the only door out of her room, something she was now beginning to recognize as a severe design flaw in the room’s architecture. “Ugh, whatever! Fine!” Finn’s whoop was loud, childish, and everything his innocent heart could ever want in that moment. Even her normally bone-chilling glare could do nothing to dampen his spirits, and oh did she try. She grunted in resignation, suddenly feeling immensely self-conscious about her weakened state, how vulnerable she knew she really was. But then she had a vague memory of Bonnibel’s super secret spy room, of Finn having a panic attack. Of him letting her see his own vulnerability, not pulling away when she helped him because he trusted her. And then there was a bat on her bed, sitting on the blankets, wings crossed, a small strange device that looked like a fancy ear bud at its feet. “I’m not walking.” If she had been hoping that would be a deterrent it was nothing of the sort, and with a noticeable swagger in his step Finn scooped her up, removing his flesh hand and replacing it with his mechanical one in case she decided to bite him. 

She was sorely tempted.

He almost stepped through the portal, then remembered one small important detail. “Oh yeah! So, PB’s thinking that your brain might not know how Ooo is supposed to look anymore because of how long it thinks you’ve been gone? I dunno, she tried to explain it to me but it just sounded like a lot of science.” He was rambling and wondering if he caught that from Bonnibel. “Anyway, keep your eyes closed, okay Marce? I’ll let you know when to look.” 

She grumbled, but closed her eyes. “Finn, I swear, I’m gonna suck out the red from your guts-” He chose that moment to jump through the portal.

It was easy to tell when the pair arrived back in Ooo, even with her eyes closed. The air felt different. Sound felt different. There were new smells, and she could hear two more heartbeats, both familiar, but for  _ very  _ different reasons. It was, curiously enough, about the same time she felt herself be handed over to a new pair of arms. “Aw… grumpy little bat,” came a familiar teasing voice. The little bat was indeed grumpy, and Marceline emphasized this by burrowing against Bonnibel’s chest, which was quite difficult with her lover’s soft laughter making it a very unstable target.  _ If she’s going to be a dink she can at least be a warm dink.  _ Yes, she was still furious with the pink-haired candy golem, but she was also cold and felt too exposed in a world she couldn’t see, and some deep, instinctive, traitorous part of her still thought of the younger woman as safe. If she had been hoping her actions would draw some sort of humorous negative reaction she was sorely mistaken; instead, she felt her princess wrap her arms around her, letting her wiggle until her ear was pressed against her chest, over her heartbeat. Marceline let her. From behind she could hear the trio speaking to one another excitably, but the vampire didn’t care. She was warm, happily curling into the unmistakably soft fabric of her favorite sweater as a gentle hand rose and began petting down her back. Marceline let her do that as well, relaxing under her touch despite her better judgment because she was, and would always be, a creature of instinct, not reasoning.

In a word, she was comfy, and even the awkwardness of the situation was beginning to lose against it.

Bonnibel’s smile threatened to split her face and she happily let it. Marceline was back in Ooo - she would have to interrogate Finn later to figure out how the flip he managed that one - in her arms no less, trying very successfully to drain her of her warmth. After some quick re-adjusting both royals found a comfortable position, Bonnibel holding the grey bat against her chest with one arm, allowing her to stroke her plush fur with her right. She wasn’t purring, but she seemed content, and for now that would be enough.  _ We’ll… we’ll get there again, Marcy. I know we will. You’ll see. I’ll show you. _ Because in spite of everything, Marceline Abadeer was in her arms, in Ooo. Once she was sure that the bat was too comfortable to care about the world around her the princess glanced up, just to catching the end of some complicated handshake shared between the brothers.

“So Phoebe didn’t care that we’d be in her neck of the woods?”

Jake shrugged. “Nah, she said she’s got other stuff to do. We got this area to ourselves all night if we want.” Finn nodded, gazing around the group’s immediate vicinity. They weren’t in the Fire Kingdom proper, of course, nor were they in its immediate vicinity. The unique landscape would make the surprise impossible. Instead Jake had found a spot on the very outskirts; in the distance, at least in the day, it would be very easy to see where the Fire Kingdom ended and the Grasslands began. But it was night now, and that made the boundary blur. The ground was hard and black, but covered in a soft, fine green grass, warm under his feet. He dropped his bag as he scanned the area, searching for any interloper, any potential enemy, because Finn wasn’t kidding when he said that he would protect his friend at her most vulnerable. He didn’t kid about that sort of thing.

There were no enemies, no Fire Kingdom denizens, no one at all, really. No sound except for the gentle, warm breeze. Finn was satisfied. No, more than that. He was happy. He flashed his approval to Jake, who returned it with a thumb’s up, laying on the ground as an almost-literal large lump. Finn plopped in front of him, resting his head back against his brother before patting the spot next to him and offering Bonnibel a reassuring beam. It was only then that he realized that at some point after he left her to return to the Nightosphere she had changed out of her soiled hoodie and into a very familiar cream and striped sweater, an article of clothing he knew was a favorite shared by both women. The princess kneeled next to him, then looked down at Marceline, kissing the top of her furry head. “Hey Marcy. We have something for you,” she whispered. The bat grumbled in a way that seemed almost nervous. “It’s okay. I promise, you’ll like it. Just look up.” The bat grumbled once more, squirmed, then did as she was bid.

Her eyes widened and she stared, frozen in awe. Bonnibel shifted, settling Marceline into her lap but the vampire didn’t notice. She was too mesmerized by the sight before her, because it was one she hadn’t seen in a hundred years. It was something she had missed so much within her own mind that she had convinced herself it didn’t exist, not anymore, maybe it never had. But here it was, or, rather, here  _ they  _ were. Her oldest friends, her kindred spirits, those pieces of herself she had forgotten. She stared at the sky in awe, because above her, above her  _ right now  _ were the actual real moon and the stars. The moon’s soft glow bade her to sit and be still while the stars’ twinkling reminded her of what it meant to play. The pair had their own music, music just for her, a melody she had forgotten about decades and decades before. But here it was now, and just as she had spent a thousand years playing for them now her moon and stars serenaded  _ her _ , and she was lost to Ooo, only faintly registering Bonnibel’s soft declaration of love as she pulled her closer, elated because Marceline had resumed her normal form without even realizing it, hadn’t even registered what she was doing. She lay there in the secure embrace of her other half, oblivious to the celebratory dances of her mortal friends. Bonnibel’s cheek rested on the top of her head as their fingers laced and she was  _ warm _ , actually and legitimately warm.

Marceline Abadeer spent her first night home staring enraptured at the moon and stars, spellbound by the world that lay beyond her sky of dust.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINAL STATUS REPORT:
> 
>  
> 
> RESTORED:
> 
> Chaotic Neutral (Default Alignment)
> 
>  
> 
> ABSORBED:
> 
> True Neutral
> 
> Lawful Evil
> 
> Chaotic Evil
> 
> Chaotic Good
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
> Neutral Evil
> 
> Lawful Neutral
> 
> Neutral Good
> 
>  
> 
> (Stay tuned for the after-credits scene and an important author announcement you'll probably like!)


	26. Terms and Conditions

As a general rule of thumb, Jake hated lying. He was an honest sort of guy, proud of his status as one of Ooo’s greatest heroes and of his position as the personal champion of Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum, reigning monarch to one of the single most powerful kingdoms of all any land. He was a protective brother, an adoring boyfriend, a loyal friend, and a loving father. He was an accomplished adventurer, a household name no matter where he went, even friends with cosmic entities. Sure, he was a party animal and was, at least at times, laid-back to the point of sloth, but if you asked anyone who knew him well they would tell you that these traits weren’t his dominant features, just his loudest.

Jake kept telling himself that, hoping those truths would cleanse him of his guilt.

He hadn’t lied about  _ everything _ . He really did think that the Fire Kingdom was the best place for Marceline Abadeer’s welcome home surprise, he really did think that Finn’s idea was particularly rad, and he really was sincerely worried about his undead ladybro. And, really, it was only polite to give the Kingdom’s sitting royalty a courtesy call, just to let her know that the four would be in the area. Phoebe may be a reasonable person, but as a rule of thumb her kingdom’s denizens were volatile and weren’t great fans of the Candy Kingdom; Marceline, Finn, and Jake may be in good standing, but who knew how the flame princess and Bonnibel felt about one another as of late? The last thing they needed was to have Marceline’s recovery hindered by gatecrashers.

But things weren’t so simple. They never were.

And so, true to his word, Jake had given his old friend a call, but he hadn’t just asked for her permission to use her turf undisturbed. He sighed, staring at the black ground, covered with a fine green fuzz from his perch on an oddly flat black boulder, feet dangling in the air. Technically speaking, he was doing absolutely nothing wrong. He had found the perfect spot for stargazing, and he had gathered every item necessary to open a portal back to the Nightosphere, just in case it got to be too much for the vampire and she needed a safe place to retreat. He had done his duty.

Jake kept telling himself that, hoping those truths would cleanse him of his guilt.

It wasn’t betrayal, not really. He knew that to be true logically, but then again Jake and Logic had sort of a love-hate relationship. It was just what he promised to do. He read the note, and he knew, logically, why  _ he  _ needed to be the one to deliver its message. Why it couldn’t be his princess or his brother. Why they couldn’t even know what it said, or even who the message was intended for. It was true that, logically, nothing would happen if he  _ hadn’t  _ delivered his message, because Marceline was already home. He wasn’t willing to take the chance.  _ ‘Sides… they knew I had to do this. They were there. They’re gonna understand. _

Jake kept telling himself that, hoping those truths would cleanse him of his guilt.

His ear twitched. A sudden noise, a familiar one, and he glanced up. Approaching from the Kingdom’s outer wall was a hooded figure, mounted upon a royal fire wolf at a leisurely pace. But that was alright, Jake wasn’t exactly in a hurry. Marceline had been given peace and quiet in her room to sleep off her mental trauma, and Bonnibel had dragged Finn off for some task; even after she was done one, or perhaps both, of them would need to find a way to convince the queen to leave the safety of her lair and accompany them to Ooo. There was no way she was making that easy on them. He had time, and so he watched the cloaked figure stroll towards him, calmly. It had no accompaniment, no escort, exactly as he had asked. He was grateful, really. Not that the figure would have any reason to be suspicious. They were friends, had been for years. And he was doing nothing wrong. Nothing at all. When the wolf was close enough to catch his sent he hopped off his boulder, waving. “Hey, thanks for coming. I know you probably had a lot of biz goin’ on.” The figure pulled the reins on the wolf, bringing it to a stop. 

Phoebe pulled the cloak’s hood back, and he returned her smile. Despite the circumstances, it was nice to see her. “Hey, Jake. No problem. What’s up?” She glanced around, confusion obvious. “Where’s Finn?” 

Jake shook his head. “Not here right now, sorry. I had to talk to ya in private.” She turned back to him, confusion intensifying. That was odd to say the least. While the two weren’t exactly joined at the hip Jake typically did not engage in royal affairs on his own, and unless there was some independent hero-related task or something fun like food or Lady was involved he normally didn’t leave the Grasslands at all. It was only then that she truly appraised him. His fur had a strange tint of what looked like red dust, his shoulders were sagging, he was rubbing his paws nervously. He looked terrible. 

“Jake? What is it?”

He took a deep breath, then exhaled forcefully before sitting back on his boulder. “Man… all this time sittin’ here… I still don’t know where to begin with this. Ugh… let me see… I guess the short version is that I promised to give you a message, and the person I promised told me that I couldn’t let anyone else hear it. Just you.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Who?” 

He took another deep breath. “Marceline.” 

Now she was on edge, her face hardening, facts that didn’t escape the dog. “She’s hurt, isn’t she.” He blinked. That was quite a jump. Not an entirely inaccurate jump. But strange nonetheless, and he began to wonder how close the two really were. Somehow, though, it didn’t seem right to snoop. At least… not right now. 

“Well…” That was a terribly loaded question, and not one he was prepared to deal with at the moment. He had a time limit, a headache, and mega hungies. The hero chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, acutely aware of the stare that he was being fixed with. 

“Jake,” she offered kindly, “there’s no other reason she’d ask you to give me a message under these circumstances instead of doing it herself. She’s my friend. Please tell me what happened.”

He sighed once more. There was no sense lying, especially to someone he knew only wanted to help. “...It’s kinda long and confusing story, and I’m mega tired, so…” He trailed off, finding a new path instead. “I’m not too clear on the deets, so you gotta…” ...And yet another new path. “I’m gonna guess you know who Marce’s dad is.”

“The Lord of Evil. Hunson Abadeer. He wants her to take over his role as master of the Nightosphere.” 

He wasn’t surprised by her knowledge. He imagined that even if she and Marceline weren’t close… well, the half-demon didn’t exactly hide her lineage, even if she wasn’t always proud of it. “Yup. Well, Bubblegum can’t become a queen without a royal suitor, so she convinced Marce to try it out. It kinda broke her brain, so we used these weirdo machine things to go in there-”

“How is she now?” There was obvious concern in her voice, but she never lost her calm demeanor. It was one of the things Jake liked most about her. 

“I’m gettin’ to that, I proms. Anyway, it broke her brain into… mini-brains? I guess? Science was involved. Anyway, one of them-”

“How is she?,” she repeated. She was calm, but focused. 

He sighed in resignation; Phoebe was almost as stubborn as Princess Bubblegum herself, and there was no way around that. “Not too great right now, but she’s gettin’ there. We’re taking her here soon. Show her the night sky. Finn thinks it’ll help. I proms, I’ll give you the full update when I’m done, okay?” Phoebe raised an eyebrow in skepticism but didn’t interrupt. “Aaanyway. When we were in her brain I met someone. A part of Marce. And… she wanted me to talk to you.” 

Now both eyebrows were raised. “A part of Marceline… who existed inside of her brain… wanted you to speak to me specifically.” 

He nodded. “Uh huh. And without Finn or Bubblegum.”

“...Alright, that’s not the oddest thing that could happen with her. But… why?” 

Jake coughed, trying to think of the very best way to phrase his message. The best way to fulfill Lady Abadeer’s terms and conditions, because as distasteful as the demon was he still had to uphold his part of the deal. Because, above all, Jake was a loyal, honest guy. “Do… you believe in prophecy?,” he blurted. At first Phoebe said nothing, watching her friend carefully, calmly. She gave him a levelled look, her expression unreadable, as she so often was. Finally, she sighed, smiling at him softly.

“Alright, Jake. I’m listening.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings:
> 
> Teaser for the sequel
> 
> Real Talk: And, with that, Rehearsal is officially concluded. Thank you all so much for working with me on this story. Because of your feedback, constructive criticism, and your (very) vocal likes/dislikes I've become a significantly better writer over the past five (!) months. One day I'll go back through Rehearsal to revise it, not for content but just to improve the writing itself.
> 
> So I promised you all an author announcement, and you know, I misled you. Because I have two.
> 
> Throughout Rehearsal I've never confirmed that there will be a sequel, because I'm kind of a jerk. I just strongly implied that if this story was popular enough I'd seriously consider. Well, I kinda misled you again. Because this isn't a duology.
> 
> Welcome, my friends, to the Musicology trilogy.
> 
> So keep an eye out for the next installment, Opening Act. When will it be out? No idea. Rehearsal worked so well because I'm a stickler for details (you may have noticed), and I had it about 80% planned before I even started writing it. So, it'll be out, but I want it to be a worthy sequel.
> 
> Oh, that second announcement. We hit 300 kudos, guys! Did you see! I did! So I'm thanking you by telling you one thing: This isn't the last you'll see of my eight little misfits.
> 
> See you guys for the mini-series!
> 
> -CwT

**Author's Note:**

> Pro-Tip: Comments, Kudos, and Bookmarks help multi-chapter stories grow big and strong.


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